What the heart needs
by MyTwiDreams
Summary: Bella is a frustrated, overweight housewife who doesn't expect anything exciting to happen in her dull life, until she meets the lively, pixie-like sister of her husband. Bellice/AH - COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

[Disclaimer] SM is the rightful owner of the glorious Twilight Universe.

[A/N] Yep, it's me again, with another piece of Bellice. This pairing is kind of addicting to me. It has so much potential. How do you feel about it?

So the idea for this story popped up in my head and wouldn't stop shouting at me until I agreed to write it down. I don't know if it's worth to continue, but I guess I'll find out.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you, may all your wishes come true.

****Chapter 1****

I sighed deeply before I stuffed the ruby colored silk blouse back into the deepest corner of my closet.

Hesitantly I grabbed a plain white shirt from the pile in front of me and pulled it over my head. Then I turned around to look in the mirror and my face turned into a frown. What did I expect? None of my clothes would be able to turn my reflection into something skinny.

I checked the time on the small silver watch on my wrist and realized that I was already late. Quickly I run my brush through my long, chestnut hair – it was the only thing about me that I considered pretty.

It was obviously time to start a new weight loss program, again. The awful, little machine in my bathroom had told me that I was about thirty pounds above my average weight. Losing thirty pounds meant a whole lot of sit-ups and a whole lot more of eating stuff like pine-apples. Ugh! I hated pine-apples and carrots and most of the other healthy food. I liked steaks with sauce béarnaise and greasy fries with mayonnaise. One second on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. Damn it.

I walked down the stairs and almost stumbled over the last one. God, why did I have to be fat and clumsy? As if one burden wouldn't be enough for one single person.

My husband, Edward, hadn't touched me in about six month and I couldn't really blame him for it. Damn it, I wouldn't want to touch myself if I were him.

Of course he was too polite to tell me that my figure was the reason behind his lack of interest in sex; that and the strawberry-haired bitch Tanya, who worked as his secretary. Both of them were on a business trip in Alaska for the next six weeks and I tried not to think too much about that.

I was almost a hundred percent sure that he was fucking her behind my back. The sad thing about it wasn't really that he was cheating on me. It wasn't even the first time, since we got married five years ago.

The sad thing was that I honestly didn't care. What kind of wife doesn't care that her husband has sex with another woman? I was a horrible person. Of course I was afraid that he could leave me because I desperately wanted our daughter to have a proper family life.

It was very unlikely to happen, because Edwards's parents were very conservative and would never approve if he divorced me. Their happiness was everything to him, and I was the mother of their only grandchild.

I took the car keys from the desk and left the house without eating breakfast. My stomach growled but it wasn't like I needed the extra calories.

Esme, my mother-in-law, had persuaded me to let her youngest daughter stay with me and Lilly until she had found a place of her own.

Mary Alice had studied Fashion Design in Paris and was now moving back to the US to start her career as a designer.

I didn't really understand why she couldn't simply stay at her parents' house. If Mary Alice was only a tiny little bit like Edwards older sister Rosalie I was going to have a very _nice _time with her. The blonde haired beauty was an embittered bitch and used every opportunity to let me feel that I wasn't good enough for her brother. Hell, I knew I wasn't good enough for him myself.

I parked the car in front of the supermarket and turned off the engine.

Shopping with an empty stomach was always a stupid idea. The whole building smelled deliciously of strawberry frosted donuts and other no-go's for a dieting person like me.

I inhaled deeply through my nose and tried to pass the seductive section as fast as possible.

My eyes caught a huge poster that was advertising for a new sugar-free milkshake that promised to let you drop about four pounds a week. There were several pictures of women and men who had managed to lose a lot of weight with it and all of them praised the product.

Unfortunately no one ever dares to speak about how disgusting this kind of stuff tastes like, like crap, like a mixture of cardboard and chemistry. The good thing about it was that it practically managed to kill off all of your taste buds, so you didn't feel like eating ever again after swallowing down a glass of the brownish liquid. Perhaps that was the key goal of the whole weight loss industry? Get them rid of every joy at eating.

I stood up on my toes to reach for a can but was instantly stopped by a crystal-like voice behind me.

"Do you honestly think that this is a healthy way to lose some weight?"

"Mind your own business!" I snarled and turned around to say something nasty, but as soon as my eyes met hers I forgot all of the sarcastically comments I usually used in situations like this.

She was tiny, probably not bigger than 4'10 and although she was wearing a grey mini dress over a pair of black leggings, she looked like a little pixie that had suddenly landed in the world of the humans.

Her short hair was so dark that it had a bluish shimmer in the artificial light that surrounded us. The best thing about her were her eyes, they had a light brown color around the outer ring of her iris while the rest of it had a light golden shade. It reminded me of caramel toffee…god, I loved caramel.

"I'm sorry," she stumbled out and her pale cheeks turned into a crimson color that made her pretty face look even more beautiful. I wondered how old she might be, she didn't older than nineteen or twenty.

My heartbeat quickened suddenly, and I felt a strange tingling in my stomach that had nothing to do with the hunger.

"I didn't mean to offend you or anything." She continued after an awkward moment of silence.

"It's okay," I mumbled when I realized that she expected me to say something.

"And you're right. It's not a healthy way to lose weight, but if it works it'll be worth it."

"My dad says that our health is the greatest gift and we shouldn't endanger it without a reason."

"Without a reason? Without a reason?" My voice raised two octaves, reaching that embarrassing hysterical frequency that I hated more than anything.

"Have you ever been greeted in a shop with something like; 'We don't sell anything in your size' instead of 'How can I help you?' Have you ever been asked when the baby is due although your child has already started kindergarten? These are only two examples of the crap I have been listening to for the most time of my life and I'm so tired of it."

I closed my eyes because I was starting to feel a little bit dizzy because of my low level of blood sugar. My fingers grabbed around the shopping cart to keep me upright.

"Are you okay?" She asked me and put one of her dainty hands on my bare forearm. Her touch was light as a feather and made every single hair on my body stand up.

I couldn't remember the last time another person's touch had made me feel like that. God, I was so pathetic.

"Are you okay?" She repeated and put two of her fingers around my wrist to check my pulse.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."

She sucked her lower lip into her mouth and released it with a popping noise.

"You don't look too fine to me. Maybe you should sit down for a moment and drink some water."

I sighed and kneeled down on the grey linoleum, thankful that no other customer seemed to pay attention to me.

She pulled a bottle out of her handbag and handed it to me. I took a big gulp from the lukewarm water and forced my lips into a grimace that was meant to look like a smile.

"Better?" she whispered while she sat down next to me on the hard ground.

I nodded my head.

"Look, you really don't have to waste your time with me. I'm sure you have other things to do."

She took a wisp of my hair and twisted it around her fingers before she finally put it behind my ear.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your hair is? It feels like silk."

Then she cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"Can I have your number?"

"Why?"

"Well, I thought that if I wanted to ask you out on a date, it might be useful to have it."

My mouth fell open and it took me a moment to remember how to close it again.

"I. Am. Not. Gay." I emphasized each word as I stood up from the ground again. Well okay, I snogged Angela once, when I was in my junior class but that was nothing but a stupid bet between me and Jess Stanley.

"Sorry," she murmured. "That's the second time in less than ten minutes that I made you feel uncomfortable. I'm usually pretty good with people."

She looked embarrassed and kind of sad.

I reached out my hand to help her up. "It's no big deal. Just forget it."

My cell vibrated in my pocket and I flipped it open to read the new text.

_Where the hell are you? We told you to be here at 11:30. Mom needs your help. You know far more about cooking than me. At least you look like it._

_Rose_

_PS: Picking up Lilly to go to the zoo with her this afternoon. Em promised to show her the Grizzlies._

My four year old daughter was probably the only soft spot my sister-in-law had. She and her husband Emmett couldn't have a child of their own. They had tried in-vitro and a bunch of other stuff but nothing ever worked. Both of them loved Lilly dearly and spoilt their niece whenever the opportunity presented itself.

"I have to go now." I murmured and put the can with the milkshake-powder back.

"Okay," she croaked out and followed me through the entire supermarket. I hoped that she wasn't some kind of creepy stalker.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm,"

"Which kind of wine is better, Red or white?"

I raised one eyebrow. "Are you even old enough to drink?"

She smirked and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I'm twenty-three, its' not my fault that I have the size of a dwarf." She tried to make her voice sound cheerful but there was a bitter tone under the happy surface.

"Well, I prefer white wine." I handed her a bottle. "This one is my favorite, sweet and light. Its flavor reminds me of nectarines and vanilla. My father-in-law says that it is cheap rotgut but I don't care."

"I like nectarines," she mumbled before she disappeared behind a huge shelf.

**XXXX**

It was hard to start a diet when you had a mother-in-law who had cooking abilities that would put every TV chef to shame.

I licked the creamy sauce from the spoon. Yes, I thought. That's worth that it makes you fat.

"Bella, I'm really grateful that you agreed to let Mary Alice stay with you."

"That's okay, Esme but why don't you want her to stay here with you and Carlisle?"

She wiped her hands on her apron and cleared her throat nervously.

"Well, she and my husband don't get along that well."

"Why?" I asked her while I stirred the sauce in the pan to keep it from sticking on the ground.

"You see, Bella. Mary Alice is our youngest child and I think that Carlisle had special expectations about what she would do with her life."

"Is he disappointed that she didn't follow his medical career?"

She nodded her head.

"That doesn't sound fair to me. He seems to be pretty content with Edward being a lawyer and Rosalie a teacher."

"Yeah, I know. The thing is that Mary Alice was the only one of our children who ever showed some kind of interest in his job. Then suddenly, a few weeks after her graduation she found out that she wanted to be a designer and moved to Europe. Carlisle flipped and decided to freeze her credit cards in a weak attempt to 'bring her back to her senses', as he called it. They didn't speak to each other for almost two years."

"Is that why she wasn't at our wedding?"

"Yes, Bella, Edward was afraid that she would probably make a scene in front of everyone."

I heard the key turn in the lock and prepared myself to meet my husband's rebellious sister.

The door opened with a squeaking noise and I gazed into a familiar pair of caramel toffee eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Thanks and hugs to every one of you who decided to give this story a try. I was thrilled that so many of you liked the idea of it. Let's see how things turn out.

I have decided that I won't make Bella lose weight in this story. It just didn't feel right to me. I refuse to believe that you have to change yourself to be worth to be loved.

However she will struggle with her weight, like most women do.

****Chapter 2****

For a long awkward moment we just kept staring at each other, unable to move one single inch.

"My baby is finally home!" Esme called out cheerfully and wrapped her arms around the delicate girl in front of us.

"Mom, I'm happy to see you too, but you're going to break my ribs if you don't let me go now."

My mother-in-law dropped her hands wiping away a single tear that had escaped her brown eyes. Then she planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead and sighed deeply.

"What did you do to your beautiful hair?" Esme asked her and started stroking the spikey ends of it.

"Don't you like it? I had it cut last month. It was sort of a fashion experiment."

"Well, it'll grow back soon. It's so good to have you back home." She told her with a shaking voice, obviously trying to fight back more tears. Then she turned to me.

"This is Edward's wife; Bella."

Mary Alice's lips twitched for a split second, as if Esme had told her some horrible news. Then she held out her hand and smiled at me, exposing a row of perfect pearl-white teeth.

"Hi, I'm Ali, the black sheep of the Cullen family." She grinned so impishly that I couldn't help but smile back.

"It's nice to meet you." I told her and squeezed her hand for a moment. Her skin felt smooth like velvet.

Esme cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"Your father is sorry that he can't be here right now. He had to cover Dr. Brannon's shift in the hospital."

Mary Alice rolled her eyes and frowned.

"Mom you don't have to lie to me. I knew that he's not too keen to meet me."

"Mary Alice, you know that's not true. Carlisle is really happy that you decided to move back to Seattle."

We walked back into the kitchen and Esme poured her a glass of orange juice that Mary Alice emptied in one gulp.

"Yeah right mom, that's why he wanted me to live at Edwards' house and not at home…because he's _so _happy that I'm back." Her beautiful bell voice had a bitter, sarcastically hint in it that I didn't like at all.

"Well, it's just for a few weeks anyway." She continued after a while and sighed deeply.

"You can stay as long as you like," I told her and twisted my hair into a ponytail.

Esme started biting her fingernails. It was a disgusting, nervous habit that both my husband and my daughter had inherited from her together with the pretty, copper colored hair. Then she sighed deeply, desperately trying of a good way to distract her daughter.

"I'm sure you and Bella will be great friends. Your brother is barely home. The poor boy is working too hard for that law firm."

I nodded my head and bit my own tongue. Right now he was probably working hard on that skinny bitch Tanya. God, I hated her more for being thin that for fucking my husband. Some wife I was.

**XXXX**

"You are not like I imagined you to be like; not at all." I stepped on the breaks so abruptly that the wheels made a squeaking noise on the dry asphalt.

Then I grabbed my hands so tightly around the steering wheel that my knuckles turned white. It wasn't the first time that a member of Edward's family had told me something like that.

"Yeah, I know." I mumbled between greeted teeth. "Your sister wasn't too happy to when Edward introduced us." I tried to make my voice sound casual, as if it didn't matter to me. It shouldn't matter to me.

Somehow she seemed to notice my discomfort anyway.

"Rosalie doesn't really know what's good for our brother. She's a little bit superficial."

"A little bit?" My voice raised two octaves.

"Okay, right. My sister is the most superficial person on earth. When I came out to her she said something like '…but Ali, how can you be gay? You're so pretty.' It's not her fault though. I blame my parents. Edward was always the smart one to them. I was the baby and she was the beautiful."

I raised one eyebrow and stepped out of the car.

She giggled and lifted the two huge suitcases out of the trunk. I wondered which kind of clothes she was designing. Not that I would ever be able to fit into any of them.

"You see, usually Edward has terrible taste in women. I didn't really get along with his ex-girlfriends so I was horrified when he suggested that I could live with him and his wife."

"Why didn't you like them?" I asked her as I opened the front door of the house that Carlisle and Esme had given us as a wedding gift.

"Well, basically they were all the same; blonde, bony and brainless."

"Hmm, and I am brunette, big and brilliant."

She shook her head as we entered the living room.

"You seem nice and just for the record - you're not that big."

"Thanks," I mumbled and felt my cheeks getting warm. It was obvious that she was lying but I knew that she was doing it in order to be nice.

"Let me show you your room." I suggested and took one of the suitcases. Geez, that thing was heavy.

"It's pretty. So light…"

"Edward thought that you need one with good light in it. Designers do need good light to work, don't they?"

"Yeah that's right. I don't really have money to get a proper atelier right now. So, I guess I'll have to work here."

She sat down on the edge of the queen size bed. Her eyes caught the small teddy that was sitting on top of it.

"That was Lilly's idea." I told her. "Edward always called you his 'baby-sister' when he spoke to your mother on the phone. She probably thinks that you're close to her age."

"I think it's cute but I hope that she won't be too disappointed when she finds out that I'm an adult. At least that's what my ID says."

She opened the first suitcase and pulled a bottle out of it.

"You bought the wine that I suggested."

"Hmm, yeah I did. It was meant to be a gift for my sister-in-law" Somehow she seemed embarrassed. Maybe because she knew that I knew what it had cost or maybe because she had tried to ask me out in the supermarket.

Our fingertips touched when she handed me the green bottle and something that was comparable to an electric shock, only way more pleasant, went through my entire body. I was sure that she had noticed it too because suddenly she pretended to search for something in her suitcase.

The phone started ringing and I cleared my throat before I answered it.

"Hello?"

The smooth, dazzling voice of my husband greeted me on the other side of the line.

"Hi Bella, how are you? Did everything go okay with Mary Alice?"

"Yeah it did. She's here. Do you want to talk to her?"

"No, I don't really have time right now. I just called to let you know that I've to stay in Anchorage longer than I planned."

"Hmm," I mumbled. "How long is longer?"

"Probably another six or seven weeks,"

"Don't tell me that you won't be here for Lilly's birthday next month." I whispered. Of course it also meant that he wouldn't be here for mine too, but I wasn't really looking forward to the big, ugly three in front of my age. Soon I would be fat and old. Live couldn't get any better. Tears started burning in my eyes, and I swallowed hard to keep them from falling. It would be too abasing to cry in front of Ali.

"Bella look, I'm really sorry but I already bought a lot of presents for her to make it up. Tanya will send them over in the next days. Lilly will be thrilled."

"Fine," I croaked out.

"You're angry at me, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not." I lied and cursed myself for the slight trembling in my voice.

"Bella, I have to work here. It's not like I'm having a holiday in Alaska."

"Try to tell that our four year old."

"I will if you let me speak to her. Give her the receiver."

"She's not here right now. Lilly is at the zoo with Rose and Emmett."

"That's good. Tell her I love her. Will you?"

Automatically I nodded my head.

"Yes I will. She loves you too you know. You're the good parent who sends awesome presents from Alaska and I'm the bad one who forced her to eat oatmeal for breakfast."

There were several voices in the background but I couldn't really understand what they were saying.

"I'll have to go now, Bella. I love you."

"Ditto," I murmured a split second before he hung up.

I sighed deeply and stood up from the bed.

I heard the bed squeak behind me and then I felt a warm, dainty hand on my forearm. The strange tingling in my stomach was back again. What the hell was wrong with me? Perhaps it had to do with the appetite suppressant I had swallowed secretly in Esme's bathroom.

"My brother isn't coming back for the birthday of his only child? That's so stupid. In a few years she won't want him to be around at her big day. Then he'll regret having missed a single one of them. I know our father did."

"Edward has to work. It's not his fault that the law firm keeps sending him to Anchorage so often." I murmured.

"Jeez, is he married to you or the stupid law firm?"

"Me of course, why are you asking?"

"Because you seem so unhappy right now; is everything okay?" she asked me, sounding far more worried than she should.

I nodded my head.

"Yes it is."

Her caramel eyes narrowed into tiny slits.

"You don't look as if everything is okay. Your eyes look like melted chocolate...all glassy."

"Stop looking at me." I hissed out and tried to turn around because I could already feel the tears burning in the corners of my eyes.

She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her pixie-like body. I took a deep breath through my nose and realized that she smelled better than anything I had ever smelled before. Like a perfect mixture of vanilla, sweet red apples and a flowery third component that I didn't really have a name for, something that was probably just her and nothing else.

"You can cry if you feel like it." She whispered into my messy hair and started stroking up and down my spine with her fingertips.

A sob escaped my throat and then I tasted something wet and salty on my lips. I couldn't remember the last time I had allowed myself to cry in front of someone else and now that I had given in, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to stop.

The strange thing was that I couldn't really cry for long. Maybe because the sweet scent that seemed to be steaming out of each of her pores was starting to make me feel dizzy. Maybe because it was more difficult to cry while the spikey ends of her short hair tickled my neck so pleasantly. Maybe it was because she continued humming some lullaby-like song to comfort me.

Whatever it was, if a single one or a combination of the three of them, it was working. I pulled back and sniffed. She handed me a tissue and I cleaned my nose loudly.

"Sorry," I croaked out.

"Don't have to be. I can understand that you're sad."

"You can?"

"Of course, Edward is your husband. It's normal that you're disappointed when he's always gone for so long."

He's also not here when he's here, I thought bitterly and suppressed the urge to bite into something sweet or fatty. Damn it Bella, why do you always have to think about eating? I had thrown out all my candy this morning and was already starting to regret it.

"Let me help you to unpack and then I'll show you the rest of the house."

I pulled a small purple colored bag out of her suitcase.

To my astonishment her cheeks reddened when she realized what I was holding.

"What's in there?"

"Nothing," she stumbled out.

"You blush because of nothing?"

"Give it to me. That's none of your business. Just forget it…Jeez, this is so embarrassing."

"Oh come on. How bad can it be? Just tell me."

"I think I better show you. You probably won't know what it is if you don't see."

XOXOXOXOXO

[A/N] So what do you think is inside that bag? If you want to know please remember that reviews encourage me to write faster *smile*


	3. Chapter 3

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I was thrilled at the great response I got for the last chapter. So I had to reward you with another update. Hope you'll like it.

****Chapter 3****

She pulled something black and purple colored out of the bag. At first I thought that it was just a strange looking belt. Then I realized what was connected with that belt. Holy shit!

"What the fuck is that?" I stumbled out, already feeling my cheeks getting warm. Desperately I tried to hide it under a curtain of my long hair.

"It's a strap-on."

"And you need such a thing because?" My voice raised two octaves, and I was pretty sure that her reddened face equaled mine right now. God, this was so embarrassing.

"It's just a toy." She mumbled, quickly stuffing it back in the deepest corner of her suitcase.

"And just for the record – I don't need it. It's just…well…I thought it could be fun to use it…when I find someone I want to use it with." She added and her lips twitched for a split second. I remembered the awkward moment in the supermarket, when she had asked for my phone number. The very thought that she had probably imagined using that thing with me send a shiver down my spine.

I cleared my throat and stood up from the ground. Then I took two steps backwards until I felt the wooden frame of the bed against the back of my knees. The bed squeaked when I sat down on the edge.

"Did you always know that you…well…that you're that way?"

She raised one eyebrow. It was obvious that she didn't seem to like questions like that.

"Did you always know that you're straight?"

"Yes. No. Well, I never really thought about it." I confessed, twisting a wisp of my hair around my fingers.

"So you're not completely sure?" she asked me and her caramel eyes sparkled sheepishly.

"What. Of course I'm sure." I croaked out.

"Yeah whatever; such a pity though. The nicest girls are always straight."

I sighed deeply and started twisting my hair into a knot at the back of my head.

"Don't." she told me and wrapped her dainty hand around my wrist.

"It's too pretty to hide it."

"Thanks," I mumbled, running my fingers through the length of my chestnut hair.

"You're welcome." She whispered before she hesitantly reached forward to put a wisp of it behind my ear. Her fingertips brushed over the sensitive skin on my neck, and I instantly held my breath. Slowly she started drawing circles down my collarbone. My heart skipped a beat and my palms started to sweat. The pleasant tingling in my stomach was back, stronger than before. It would probably be right to tell her to stop this right now. It was wrong of her to touch me like that, and it was even worse that I liked it so much.

The shrill tone of our doorbell made me jump from the bed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't…" She stumbled out.

"Don't have to be. It's okay." I mumbled. It was so not okay, but I didn't really have the nerves to deal with that right now.

I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and went to open the door.

"Mommy!" Lilly called out wrapping her tiny hands around my neck as I kneeled down in front of her to take her in my arms.

"Hi, honey. Did you have fun today?"

She nodded her head.

"Hello Bella." Emmett greeted me cheerfully before he turned to his sister-in-law. He swung her around, making her look like a little ragdoll in his huge arms.

"Put me down McCarthy before I hurt you were it really hurts."

He chuckled and planted a quick kiss on her cheek before he released her from his bear-like embrace.

"Hi Ali, I'm so glad you're finally back. Your mother was starting to get on my nerves since she knew you were coming."

"Yeah, I can imagine that."

"Where is Rose?" I asked him as we entered the house. Somehow I was glad that his blonde wife didn't show up here. She would probably make some stupid comments about the tones of Diet Coke I was keeping in my fridge. Thank god for artificial sugar.

"Auntie Rosie is sick." Lilly stated and pulled a little bottle of apple juice out of her pink backpack.

Emmett cleared his throat nervously. Something was obviously wrong but he didn't want to say it in front of the child.

"Lilly, honey, this is your daddy's other sister, Ali. Say hi to her."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and frowned.

"But she's not a child." She mumbled, sounding slightly disappointed.

"Lilly…,"

"Daddy said she's a baby. I wanted to show her all my Barbie dolls and play with her."

Ali laughed her crystal bell laughter.

"I love Barbie's! I made some pretty dresses that will fit them. Do you want to see?" She told her and to my astonishment my daughter took her hand and pulled her out of the room.

"What's wrong with Rose?" I asked Emmett as soon as they were out of sight.

He sighed deeply, rubbing his broad chin thoughtlessly.

"Lilly asked her why we don't have a baby."

"Oh crap. Look Emmett, I'm really sorry about that. I'll talk to Lilly. She won't mention it again."

He shook his head.

"It's not her fault. People always keep asking us about our family planning. Rose is just a little bit tensed right now. All the hormone injections have turned her into a nervous wreck."

"Maybe it'll work this time." I tried to encourage him when I noticed the sad expression on his face.

"Yeah maybe it will. It'll be our last attempt in in-vitro. I won't let my wife get through this torture over and over again."

**XXXX**

"Do you have some secret magical abilities that you forget to mention?" I asked Ali as I poured her a glass of wine.

She shook her head and took a small sip.

"Hmm,"

"How did you make her fall asleep that fast? Usually Lilly throws a fit when it's bed time."

"I guess I was probably just lucky that she was tired tonight. She's such a lovely girl and she looks so much like Edward. It's amazing."

"Yes she does." Thanks god, I added secretly. I was glad that my child didn't have to suffer as a chubby klutz like I had to when I was younger.

"But she has your eyes." Ali added after a while and my lips automatically turned into a smile that almost managed to hurt my ears. She smiled back and I felt that weird tingly feeling in my stomach again.

"Do you like the wine?" I asked her and cursed myself for the slight trembling in my voice.

She took another sip and nodded her head.

"Yes, I do. It really tastes like nectarines."

"Do you want some more?" I offered.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?"

"No, of course not; why should I do something like that?"

She chuckled and took a piece of the grilled cheese sandwich into her hands to nibble on it.

"Aren't you hungry too?" She asked me and stuffed a second bite into her mouth.

I shook my head and hoped that she wouldn't be able to hear my stomach growling.

"Are you sure? This is really good."

Of course it's good. I made it, I thought.

"Yeah I know. But it won't help me to lose weight if I eat fatty food like that." God, every kind of food that I liked was either too fatty or too sweet to be healthy.

She raised one eyebrow.

"Why do you want to lose weight? Did my brother say something to you about that?"

"I don't need him to know that I'm fat." I mumbled and emptied the glass of wine in one gulp.

"You are not fat." She stated, emphasizing each single word. When I managed to look into her eyes again I realized that she looked angry somehow.

"You're curvy…voluptuous…like a woman should be like to be a real woman." The tip of her tongue licked over her ruby tinted lips.-

I sighed deeply.

"Ali, I know that you're just trying to be nice, but if you keep on lying to me…that's just not right. I know what I look like."

She took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"Why would I lie to you, Bella?" she murmured.

I didn't really know what to answer her.

"Because…well… I don't know. I'm not used that people tell me I'm not fat. Your sister…,"

"Oh Bella, Rose is just jealous of you."

"Pardon me? Rosalie is jealous of me?"

She nodded her head.

"Of course she is. You have a child, she doesn't. I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't mind gaining a few extra pounds in order to get pregnant."

"I guess you could be right about that."

She put the cheese sandwich in front of my mouth. I shook my head.

"One tiny piece won't hurt you." She stated and I opened my lips to take a bite. The creamy cheese melted into my mouth. Accidentally the tip of my tongue brushed over her dainty fingertips as I reached forward to take a second bite. I heard her hold her breath instantly.

"Sorry." I whispered as she pulled her hand back.

"I didn't mean to…,"I told her after an awkward moment of silence.

Then she cleared her throat and emptied the glass of wine in front of her.

"That's too bad."

"What?"

"That you didn't mean it." She stated while her thumb started drawing fine circles over my wrist. I wasn't used to small, tender gestures like that. I sucked my lower lip into my mouth to keep a low moan from escaping my throat.

"You like that, don't you?" She whispered while another one of those pixie-like smiles flashed over her pretty face.

"Yes, I do…but I shouldn't."

"Why? If you like it how can it be wrong?"

Somewhere deep in the corner of my mind, I knew that I should probably mention the fact that I was a married woman. Even worse, I was married to her brother. Then I realized that she was very well aware of these facts.

"Ali, I already told you that I'm not _that_ way."

She started stroking up my bare forearms, and I felt each single hair on my body standing up.

"But you like it when I touch you. Don't you think that's contradictory somehow?"

Yes it was. What the hell was wrong with me? I stood up so quickly that I almost managed to trip over my own feet. My hands trembled, and I stuffed them into the pockets of my jeans.

"You can't just run away now. Jeez, are you a kindergartener?"

"No, but I don't know what to do. I've never been in a situation like that. I'm scared."

She hugged me from behind and the spikey ends of her short hair tickled my neck.

"And you think I'm not?"

I turned around while her arms stayed wrapped around my waist. Well around where my waist was supposed to be.

"You ask out women in supermarkets…so the answer is yes. I don't think you're scared."

She dropped her hands and took a step backwards.

"Well you're wrong." She stated and her voice sounded suddenly so sad that I felt a strong impulse to pull her close to me again.

Without thinking about what I was doing I cupped her face between my hands and stroked her cheeks with trembling fingertips. Her skin felt smooth like silk, better than silk. Would she feel everywhere on her body like that?

She swallowed hard while the caramel of her eyes seemed to darken one or two shades.

"I don't want to screw things up. I don't want to be the reason for the end of your happiness."

"Why are you afraid?" She asked me, her voice barely a whisper now.

"Because I shouldn't like it when you touch me, and I shouldn't want to touch you in return,"

"Are you afraid to discover something about yourself that you didn't know before?"

"Ali, how often do I have to tell you that I'm not _that_ way?"

She closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

"Yeah, I got it. You're straight. What a waste…,"

"A waste?"

"You're missing so many wonderful things because of your sexual narrow-mindedness."

"Things like your strap-on?"

She chuckled slightly but her cheeks blushed again. The crimson color looked lovely against the paleness of her skin.

"It's not only about sex, although that's quite nice of course. I love the emotional connection, the way a woman can care about another woman in a way that no man would be capable of."

My brain went into a sort of stand-by modus as I twisted my hands into her hair. She was so small that she had to stand on her toes to be able to reach my mouth.

Her lips brushed over mine so softly as if they were the wings of a butterfly. Then I felt the tip of her tongue hesitantly nudging against my lower lip. Slowly I parted my mouth a little, letting her tongue slip into my mouth. She was so incredibly sweet and light. I could still taste the wine as I started to explore the warmth of her mouth. I sucked her upper lip between my teeth and nibbled on it. A low moan left her throat. It was the most beautiful noise I had ever heard.

One of her hands moved under my shirt, gently caressing my back with her fingertips.

"Tell me to stop." She mumbled against my lips.

"I can't."

XOXOXOXOXOXO

[A/N] Yeah, I know I'm such an evil tease for ending it here. What do you think of the chapter? Should I make them use the toy in the next chapter? Reviews encourage me to write faster.


	4. Chapter 4

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Hugs to all of my lovely readers out there…Thanks for supporting my little story with your reviews. I love reading all your thoughts about the plot. Luckily most of you seem to like the way I portray Bella in this story. I also know that this story is quite unrealistic…that's why it's called fiction. lol

Edward will show up at some point at the story, but not very soon. Does anyone miss him? I knew some great fics with him in it that I could recommend to you if you're interested; Just pm me.

There will be a lemon in this chapter; it's more sweet than juicy but still…don't like…don't read.

****Chapter 4****

I don't know how we finally managed to end up in my bedroom. Her full lips never left mine while her hands continued stroking up and down my spine. She pulled me closer to her and a low moan escaped her throat as the tip of my tongue nudged against her upper lip. Her lips parted slightly and her sweet breath tickled my skin as my tongue slipped into the warmth of her mouth.

Slowly I reached out my hands to cup her pretty face between them. Then I felt her fingertips circling around the clasp of my bra and I instantly stopped breathing.

"We don't have to go further, if you're not ready. I know that this is new for you." She told me when she realized my hesitation. Her thumb started drawing invisible circles over my wrist and this small tender gesture send shivers down my spine.

We sat down on the edge of the bed and I wrapped my arms around her delicate waist. She was so small and breakable and at the same time she seemed to be so much stronger than me. It was amazing.

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"Do you want to stop?"

I shook my head, although I knew that it would probably be the only right thing to do right now. Hell, it was hard to consider what was right or wrong while I couldn't stop thinking of her hands on my skin, or my hands on her skin. Ali was like a piece of chocolate after starving for several days; too sweet and much too tempting.

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. Then she kissed my mouth again, sucking my lower lip between her teeth to nibble on it. My hands reached for the light switch because the small part of my brain that hadn't stopped working completely reminded me that it would be horribly embarrassing if she would see me naked.

It would be worse enough if she would feel all the disgusting fat that was securely hidden underneath wide clothes. However I couldn't wait to feel the softness of her skin on my fingertips.

Slowly I started unbuttoning her dress, circling over each single inch of her cleavage. She pulled my shirt over my head and turned me around. Her lips and tongue caressed my neck while her right hand opened the clasp of my bra. The thin piece of cotton fabric landed on the ground and she pulled me closer to her.

"You feel so good Bella." She mumbled into my hair as she cupped my breasts into her hands to massage them gently. Then she rolled her thumbs over my nipples and they hardened almost instantly under her caress.

"I love how full your breasts are, just perfect."

I cringed slightly but stayed right where I was because it felt way too good as she kept on squeezing the tiny nubs between her dainty fingers.

Would she like it too, if I'd touched her the same way? The thought gave me goose bumps…the good kind of. I had to try it out…

We landed on the bed and the sheets felt pleasantly cool on my overheated skin. I reached out my hands and tried to open her bra, hoping that she wouldn't recognize my trembling fingers. It wasn't working, and I heard her chuckle.

"The clasp is at the front." She whispered cheerfully and guided my hand to the small heart shaped rock between the cups. A moment later her bra opened, exposing a pair of perky breasts that fit perfectly into my hands. So soft, I thought. She feels so incredibly soft. My lips closed around one of her tiny nipples, sucking it into my mouth were it pebbled instantly.

"Yes, like that." She moaned softly and twisted her hands into my messy hair.

I continued licking and sucking her breasts while her fingertips brushed over my entire upper body as soft as a feather, leaving invisible flames wherever she touched me.

Then she leaned down and circled her tongue over my belly bottom. I was glad that I had turned the light out so that she wouldn't be able to see the ugly scar that would cover my body for the rest of my life now.

She pulled down my jeans in a quick movement, leaving me in nothing but the already soaked fabric of my cotton panties.

"Bella, can I kiss you?" she asked me, her bell voice thick with lust.

I wondered how she could ask for something as innocent as a kiss right now. Maybe she was just nervous.

"Yes." I mumbled. "I like it when you kiss me." Understatement of the year, I thought secretly. I freaking loved it.

Instead of kissing her way up to my mouth again, I felt her lips move lower and lower until she reached the small stripe of skin between my lower abdomen and my underwear. I felt the heat stream into my cheeks as I realized what she had really meant with 'kissing'.

"No." I croaked out in embarrassment.

"You don't have to do that."

"Silly girl, I know that I don't have to. I want to."

With that she pulled my panties down my thighs and started kissing and stroking their insides tenderly.

_Oral sex is such a waste of time, Bella._ The voice of my husband echoed in my ears. On the few occasions that he had tried to do it, it had been awkward. I was so worried sick that I would smell bad that I couldn't relax at all.

A shiver went through my entire body as the tip of her tongue licked over my slick folds. I had to bite my own hand to keep me from moaning out like a whore.

"Hmm," she murmured between my legs.

"You taste so sweet…it's delicious."

Then she licked and sucked the sensitive flesh between her lips. She took her time with me, exploring each tiny fold between my legs. Sometimes the tip of her tongue nudged against my throbbing clit and each of these movements made me whimper slightly. The tingling in my stomach increased as I felt two of her fingers slide into my entrance. My legs started trembling as she curled them upwards, hitting a spot inside of me that had probably never been touched before; because I knew for sure that I would remember that.

Her tongue circled over my clit faster and faster while she added a third finger to the other two. I closed my eyes as the first wave of my climax washed over me. Slowly at first, but then way stronger than ever before it shook my entire body. My toes curled and each single muscle in my body went ridged.

Carefully she sucked my clit into her mouth and that finally managed to bring me over the edge of my lust. My inner walls clenched and unclenched around her fingers while colors that I had no name for flashed in front of my eyes.

"Ali," I stumbled out when I finally felt able to speak again.

She continued stroking me gently with her hand while her lips left a wet trail up my body. When she reached my trembling mouth I could still taste myself on her tongue. It was indeed sweet somehow, but it also had a slight tartness in it.

"Thank you for letting me taste you." She whispered against my mouth before she planted several kisses all over my face.

Her skin smelled even better now. She pulled me closer to her, cuddling her pixie-like body against my chest. I never cuddled after sex, literally. Usually I rushed into the bathroom as soon as it was over.

I thought about standing up, but then she started massaging my scalp with her fingertips and it felt too pleasant. Everything about her felt way too good. Better than I deserved it.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked me almost shyly.

"No… stay." I murmured before I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

**XXXX**

It was cold when I woke up in the morning. A strange, unfamiliar pain cramped around my heart as I realized that I was alone. Quickly I pulled a shirt over my head and stepped into a pair of grey sweatpants.

When I walked into the kitchen she was standing at the stove. Her dark hair was still damp from the shower she had probably taken earlier.

"Mommy!" Lilly called out when she saw me. Her hands were sticky and I pulled a tissue out of my pocket to clean them a little bit.

"You're awake…finally."

"Morning, sleepyhead," Ali greeted me cheerfully and planted a kiss on my cheek. Jeez, I should have at least brushed my hair. I was such a mess in the morning.

"Auntie Ali wouldn't let me wake you up." My daughter stated reproachfully.

"But she let me help her make pancakes for our breakfast."

"That's great, sweetie."

"Do you want some too, mommy?"

I shook my head while I thought about how much I loved pancakes, pancakes and melted butter and maple syrup.

Then I opened the fridge and pulled the disgusting pine apple out of it. Yeah, that was the right kind of food to eat in the morning, full of vitamins and hopefully zero calories.

"Bella, you should at least eat a little bit of real food in the morning." Ali whispered and filled my plate with the half of a pancake.

"Okay, I will, if you and Lilly help me to get rid of that thing here." I stated and placed the pine apple on the counter to slice it up.

"Mommy, when is daddy coming home?" Lilly asked me while Ali braided her copper hair.

I cringed at the mention of his name. Last night had been the first time I had betrayed my husband. The fact that he had done it himself over and over again didn't help me to feel better.

A sharp pain rushed through my palm and when I looked down again the yellow pine apple pieces in front of me where covered with crimson drops of fresh blood.

"Ouch!" I cried out and Ali wrapped her hand around my wrist to look at the deep cut in my hand. My head started spinning as I sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"Mommy, are you bleeding?"

"Look away, honey."

"No, I want to see."

God, why had this child to be so curious all the time. She would probably get sick as soon as she would smell the blood. Cold sweat appeared on my forehead.

"It's not that bad." I stumbled out as I realized the worried expression on Ali's face.

"Just give me a band aid. They're in the cupboard on the left side.

"Bella, that cut is too deep for a band aid. You'll need stitches or it's not going to heal properly."

"Mommy, I can stitch your hand. Grandpa showed me how to do it." My four year old told me as I wrapped a clean cloth around my hand.

I sighed deeply and stood up from the chair. My knees were trembling and I cursed myself because I knew that I was totally overreacting. I had always had a little problem with blood. The rusty smell of it made me sick. If I had had anything in my stomach right now, it would try to make its way up again now.

"Can you stay here with her until I come back from the hospital?"

She shook her head.

"Bella, you're all green in the face. I don't think you can drive yourself."

**XXXX**

She parked the Volvo in front of the hospital and opened the door for me. The waiting hall was already crowded but Ali went straight to the counter.

The nurse raised one eyebrow. "Can I help you, Miss?"

"My friend cut her hand with a knife. She'll need stitches."

"Missy, you're friend doesn't seem to be in a life-threatening situation. You'll have to fill out some papers first and then…you have to wait until…,"

Ali rolled her eyes at that.

"Page Dr. Cullen."

"Why should I do that? We're too busy to let the chief do a stupid stitching job that any intern is capable of."

"I'm his daughter."

A few moments later my father-in-law turned around the corner. As usual he had deep purple bruises under his eyes. Sometimes I wondered if that man didn't need to sleep at all. His curly hair was still full and blond, with a few silver colored highlights in it that proved his real age.

"Miranda, I told you not to disturb me unless it was an emergency." He told the nurse and she cringed slightly.

"Yeah I know, but your daughter is here to see you, Dr. Cullen."

His lips twitched as he saw Ali who was sitting on the edge of a small table while I was holding Lilly on my lap.

"What are you doing here? Did your mother send you here? Jeez, I have to work, Mary-Alice." His voice was cold and sharp like a razor blade. I had never heard him talk to someone like that before and I didn't like it at all.

"Grandpa!" Lilly called out and stood up from my lap.

He put his arms around her and lifted her up. Then he planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Hi my darling. Your hair looks pretty today."

"Auntie Ali helped me to braid it."

"Yeah, your aunt is good at stuff like that."

"…and mommy hurt her hand." She continued while she tried to grab the stethoscope from his neck.

"She'll need stitches." Ali explained to him as he took a quick look at my injured palm.

"Oh, I didn't know that they gave you a medical degree too at this ridiculous fashion academy…"

Her eyes narrowed into tiny slits.

"The only person who thinks that it's ridiculous is you dad."

"Mary Alice, we're _so_ not having this conversation again."

"Fine," she croaked out, tears glistening in the corners of her caramel eyes.

"Bella, I'll wait for you outside. The air inside here is too stuffy for me."

I stared after her, fighting the instant urge to run after her and pull her into a tight hug. The way Carlisle treated her was starting to piss me off. I was going to have some serious talk about that with my father-in-law.

**XOXOXOXOXO**

How did you like the new chapter? I hope you're not too disappointed that there was no toy-fun… yet. Also, if you have any suggestion or questions feel free to pm me.

It would be awesome to reach over 100 Reviews with this one, so please press the little button down there before you leave.

Happy New Year to all of you!


	5. Chapter 5

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Blows hugs and kisses to all her lovely readers out there. Thanks to all of you who took the time to read and review my little story. Your encouraging words rock my little fanfic-authors' heart more than you will ever know.

I've made a new video-trailer for this story. Just remove the ().

http(:/)www(.)youtube(.)com(/)watch(?)v=kbbMGwDfAwg

****Chapter 5****

"She's right about the stitching part." Carlisle told me while he carefully examined my injured palm.

"We can do that in my office."

"Fine," I croaked out.

"Miranda can you watch my granddaughter until I'm done?" he asked the nurse who quickly nodded her head.

Silently I followed him into the office at the end of the corridor.

"This is going to sting a little bit, Bella." My father-in-law warned me before he added some brown liquid on a piece of cotton wool.

I turned my head to the other side as he leaned over to clean the cut on my left palm. The disinfection stuff burned on my skin and I cringed slightly.

"Tender?"

"Maybe a little bit." I mumbled while he put on some green rubber gloves and started stitching up the long wound in my hand with carefully skilled movements.

"How did that happen?" he asked me calmly as he was almost finished.

"I tried to cut a pine apple."

"Hmm, I see. Are you dieting again?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to…," I mumbled embarrassed. Was it that obvious that I needed to lose a few pounds? Or well, maybe a few more?

"Good luck." He told me and his blue eyes sparkled sheepishly.

I tried to ignore the throbbing pain in my hand and closed my eyes while Carlisle wrapped a piece of gauze around it.

"Done,"

"Thanks." I mumbled and sighed deeply.

Then I cleared my throat nervously.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure you can, Bella. But if your question contains something about these thyroid pills again…,"

I shook my head. Geez, I wished I had never asked him about that.

"Why are you so angry at Ali?" I stumbled out as I stood up from the metal chair in the corner of his office. As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them instantly.

"Why do you think that…," he started hesitantly.

His lips twitched for a moment before they turned into the weak attempt of a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Did Esme tell you something?" he whispered and started sorting a pile of papers on his desk.

"No she didn't."

"Bella…,"

"Well, she told me that the two of you don't get along that well."

"We would get along just perfect if she'd finally come to her senses."

"Come to her senses?"

"Yeah exactly, this ridiculous clothes designing thing. That's nothing but a stupid hobby."

"But if it's what she loves to do. How can it be wrong?"

"Jeez, Bella…you like to read…that doesn't make you an author. Edward loves to play piano but he never fancied the idea of being a pianist."

"I don't think that's the same thing, Carlisle."

He snarled angrily.

"Trust me. It is just the same."

"Don't you want her to be happy?"

"Of course I want her to be happy, Bella. But I think it's time for Mary Alice to start making reasonable decisions about her life." He stated bitterly.

"Don't you think that she's old enough to make her own choices?" I asked him, trying to keep my voice calm.

He chuckled slightly.

"Jeez, of course I know that she's, but somehow she's still like a child. Mary Alice only acts on her instincts. She never thinks about the consequences of her actions."

**XXXX**

"Are you okay?" I asked her as I sat down in the car again. She nodded her head silently but I realized that her beautiful caramel eyes were red and swollen now.

Slowly I put my right hand on her bare forearm and started stroking the velvety skin with my fingertips.

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment before she started the engine.

"Do you want to go home now?" she whispered and her pretty bell voice was rough from the crying.

"Can't we go to the park today?" Lilly asked from the backseat.

"Later, honey."

"But I want to go now! Jane and Alec will be there too."

Oh great, the freaky witch-twins. No other child in Lilly's class wanted to play with them. Little Jane had a sick fun to pinch and hit other kids.

"Their daddy promised to make these little almond cookies for us."

I rolled my eyes at that. Aro and Marcella owned a little Italian restaurant that served delicious Tuscan wine and food. The desserts were mouthwatering too. Great, like I needed any more sweets or other stuff to eat. My stomach growled again, and I desperately hoped that Ali wouldn't be able to hear it.

"Can we go now?" My daughter asked me impatiently.

"No we can't. It's starting to rain soon. Just look at the thick clouds up there." I told her and pointed at the almost lilac colored sky.

Moments later the first drops landed on the windshield. Soon it turned into a downpour.

"Isn't that nice?" Ali whispered as she parked the car in front of the house. Then she stepped outside and danced around like a ballerina. Everything about the way she moved was so incredibly graceful.

"I love rain."

"Do you love to get sick too? Let's go inside before you're completely soaked."

**XXXX**

Carefully I wrapped a towel around her quivering shoulders.

"Thanks." She mumbled, running her dainty fingers through her short, ebony hair.

"How's your hand?"

"It's not that bad." I told her and kneeled down on the thick carpet in front of her bed.

Slowly I took her hand in mine to squeeze it gently.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her while I continued rubbing small circles all over her wrist.

"Okay, I guess."

"But you cried,"

"I want him so much to understand…but he's so…so…," she stumbled out as a wave of fresh tears escaped her eyes.

"Stubborn," I finished as I pulled her into a tight hug. She buried her face into my long hair and sobbed against my shoulder.

"He thinks that everything I've worked so hard for is just some stupid joke." Her voice almost cracked at the end.

"No, he doesn't." I tried to assure her while my fingertips petted her head.

"I think he's just worried."

She snorted and wiped her running nose on the sleeve of her shirt. I pulled a tissue out of my pocket and handed it to her.

"No, he isn't. Carlisle is disappointed. Did you know that I had two scholarships for medical schools before I went to Paris?"

So she was smart and pretty, prettier that anyone or anything I had ever seen in my life. Damn it, Bella, what are you thinking?

"Do you want something to drink, tea perhaps?"

"Hmm, yeah that would be great. Thank you."

I went down to the kitchen to turn on the water boiler. Lilly was sitting in front of the TV screen in the living room. Her eyes focused on an episode of SpongeBob.

"Are you hungry, honey?" I asked her as I planted a kiss upon her forehead.

"No, mommy. Can we call daddy?"

I swallowed hard before I spoke up again

"Maybe later, sweetie, you know that your daddy is busy in Alaska."

"But he'll be here for my birthday, will he?"

I nodded my head, knowing that my voice would come out much too high if I would speak now. It was embarrassing how much I sucked at lying.

Then I went back into the kitchen and filled the boiling water into two mugs. The sweet scent of cinnamon floated my nostrils. While I waited for the tea to be ready, I opened the fridge. Quickly I stuffed two vanilla rolls that were about to expire into my mouth. Great, Bella, just great, can't you stick to your eating rules for one freaking day?

I put the mugs on a small tray and closed the door behind me.

When I entered our guestroom again Ali was standing at the closet with dozens of thick, cloth and pieces of chiffon all over her arms.

"Do you need some help?" I asked her as she almost dropped a roll of cloth on the ground.

"No, thanks." She mumbled and stuffed everything inside the small closet. I wondered how she had managed to get so much into that thing.

Her ruby colored lips turned into a bright smile as she turned around to look at me again.

Slowly she closed the distance between us with a few smooth movements. Then she stood up at her toes and kissed my cheek.

"You got something…," she mumbled hoarsely.

"…on your lips."

The tip of her tongue licked over the corner of my mouth and my heart skipped a beat.

"Tastes sweet," she stated cheerfully and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Like all of you."

Every drop of blood in my body went straight into my face, turning it into a bright, crimson color. I pulled my hair over my shoulder in order to hide it behind the chestnut curls.

"You don't have to cover your blush." She whispered.

"I think it's cute."

Then she cleared her throat and took my hand in hers. Slowly she guided it to her ruby tinted lips to plant a soft kiss on each of my knuckles.

"Do you want to talk about last night?"

"Yes. No! Well, I don't really know what to say." I confessed nervously.

"You can say anything you want, Bella." She tried to encourage me while her eyes never left mine. There was a nervous hint in her voice. Obviously there was something that she didn't want to hear from me now.

She took a small sip from the hot tea in front of her and stared down at her own hands.

"I've never done something like that before."

"Hmm, yeah I know. You told me that you're straight."

She twisted a wisp of my long hair around her dainty fingers.

"And now?"

"I'm confused…kind of."

"Me too,"

I raised one eyebrow and sucked my bottom lip into my mouth to nibble on it nervously.

"It was a first for me too. I've never been with someone who's in a relationship with someone else."

For a moment the face of my husband popped up in front of my inner eye. There was a strange, unpleasant feeling in my stomach, when I thought of him. Sometimes I wondered what had happened if I hadn't had Lilly. We wouldn't be together now or at least not married, that much I was sure of.

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"Do you regret it?"

"No, I don't. It was so…," earthshattering, mind-blowing I finished in my head. Whatever it was, I wanted more of it.

"Do you?"

She shook her head and cupped my face between her warm hands. Her full lips brushed over mine so gently that I could barely feel them on my mouth. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Hesitantly I nudged the tip of my tongue against her lower lip. A moan escaped her throat. She slightly parted her lips to let my tongue slip into her mouth. It tasted sweet, like rock candy and cinnamon tea as I started to explore it gently. Then much too soon for my liking she pulled back.

"I could never regret anything that happened between me and you." She mumbled against my lips.

With trembling fingertips I stroked over the small stripe of exposed skin on her back. Slowly I circled my thumb on the silky skin between her shirt and jeans. I felt her shiver under the small caress.

Then I thought about my little, four-year old who was watching some stupid cartoons, just a few rooms away from us.

The bad conscious hit me with so much force that it literally knocked the breath out of me. Quickly I stood up from the bed that squeaked loudly. How could I dare to destroy the happiness of my only child? God, I was such a horrible selfish person.

"I'm sorry, Ali. I, I…can't do that." I stumbled out, my voice barely a whisper.

She wrapped her arms around me from behind.

"Yeah, I know. I love him too. How can we betray him like that?"

"It's not because of Edward."

Well, technically it was about him, or at least it should be.

I interlaced the fingers of my right hand with hers, while I heard her inhale sharply between her teeth.

"Of course, it's about him. Damn it, Bella…why do you have to be married to my brother?"


	6. Chapter 6

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] This chapter is dedicated to MangekyoMasta510 for being my 100th reviewer and to my little addict Miss Claire Alice Whitlock for triggering my mind with her evil plans for Cheat-ward. Love you girl!

If you have trouble imagining how Bella looks like in this story, I suggest to Google the plus size model Chloe Marshall.

****Chapter 6****

I put one arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. Then I started stroking her short hair with my fingertips. Her desperate words had triggered something inside of me. Why? Was there a reason why I was married to him? Of course there was Lilly, but apart from her. We didn't really have much in common. He was way too good looking for me. But if it came to that…I wasn't good enough for her too.

I swallowed hard as I thought about the touch of her soft hands on my breasts.

_I love how you feel…_

"Bella? What are you thinking about?"

"Last night." I confessed, already feeling my cheeks turn warm again.

Slowly she pulled my hair over my shoulder and planted a soft kiss on my neck.

"What exactly?" she asked me while her lips moved down my collarbone.

I cleared my throat nervously and stood up from the bed, knowing that if I stayed where I was I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of her. Damn it. How was it possible that this petite girl had such an amazing effect on me?

"What you told me...that I felt good to you. I know it was a lie but still…,"

"It wasn't a lie." she told me while she stood up and took my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"I will always tell you the truth, Bella."

A sound that was close to the growl of an animal left my throat.

"Ali, I know that I'm fat."

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around me from behind. Then she turned me around so that I was standing right in front of the full-length mirror at the right side of the bed.

"You are not fat. Who told you that?"

"My scales tells me that I'm overweight." Close to obesity, I added sourly in my head.

"Throw it out of the window. All this BMI stuff is bullshit."

I couldn't help but chuckle slightly at her suggestion. Unfortunately it wouldn't help me to solve my problem.

"My own mother keeps telling me that I need to lose weight."

Renee had made me start my first diet when I was fourteen. Some disgusting protein dominated stuff that made me hate eggs for the rest of my life.

"That's not really nice of her. A mother should love her child the way it is. I bet you wouldn't say something rude like that to Lilly…ever."

"Of course, I wouldn't. I love her."

"Bella, you're pretty the way you are."

"No, I'm not. Please stop talking to me like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Sorry," she mumbled and started stroking up and down my bare forearms with feather-like movements.

"We don't have to talk about it, Bella."

I interlaced the fingers of her hand with mine and squeezed it tightly. Then I put it to my mouth to plant a soft kiss on her delicate knuckles.

"I don't know why I always want to touch you. That's not like I am…usually."

"Maybe it's because you're alone that much. I bet my brother can't keep his fingers away from you when he's here." Her light voice had a slight bitter tone in it that send a sharp pain right into the middle of my heart. She was terrified by the thought of him with me. God, if she only knew.

"Well, you're wrong. Edward never touches me unless he can avoid it. I can't even blame him. Maybe if I would look more like this strawberry-haired bitch then…,"

She raised one eyebrow.

"Who are you talking about?"

"No one…Jeez, just forget it. It doesn't even matter."

"Yes it does. Just look at you! Your hands are trembling."

I sat down in front of the bed and put my head in my hands. Then I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. I had already told her more than I had planned to. It was way too easy to talk to her. Would she be angry at her brother if I told her what Edward was doing behind my back? Was it that much worse than what I had done with her?

Carefully she put one arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to her. A dry sob escaped my throat, and I cursed myself for being so terribly weak.

"Whatever it is, Bella. You can tell me. I'm pretty good at keeping secrets."

"It's my fault." I started hesitantly. "I haven't lost one single pound since my pregnancy. No wonder he prefers to be with his skinny secretary."

"Pardon me? You think he's cheating on you with this ridiculous joke of a woman?"

I nodded my head while I felt a few warm tears running down my face.

"Mrrrrr. Cullen is in an imporrrtant meeting rright now." She mocked the Russian accent of Tanya and made some puking noises.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes I am."

"I'm really sorry about that, Bella. And just for the record. It's not your fault. Whatever my brother is doing, he's the only who's responsible for his actions."

My hand moved under her shirt again, gently circling over the soft skin.

"And me and you? Who's responsible for that?" Technically I didn't even know what there was between the two of us. It was like nothing I had ever felt before.

"I, of course," She stated cheerfully while her thumb started drawing circles over my wrist.

"You're the innocent straight girl and I'm the lesbian who seduced you."

"I don't think it's as simple as that, Ali. I could have told Esme that I didn't want you to stay with me and Lilly but I didn't. I wanted to have you here. And last night, I could have told you to stop, but I didn't."

"Because you enjoyed it when I touched you, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did."

"Do you feel bad for enjoying it?"

"No. It felt so good. Better than anything I've ever experienced before. But I'm scared now somehow."

"That you're gay or maybe bi?"

"Of course,"

Her eyes met mine, and I cringed as I saw the horrified expression on her pretty pixie face.

"I don't think that it's something bad." I stumbled out nervously.

"But you think it would be bad if you were, don't you?" She tried to make her voice sound hard but it almost cracked at the end.

"I have a child that I have to think about. How should I explain something like that to Lilly? That her mother likes to kiss her aunt?"

"Do you think that she would rather like to see you unhappy for the rest of your life?"

**XXXX**

I called Edward after dinner to let Lilly speak to her father. Of course he was way too chicken to tell her that he wouldn't be here for her birthday. Fucking coward, I thought while I left the living room to finish the dishes. The frown on my face would irritate her, and I didn't want her to think that something was wrong. God, everything was wrong now.

"Is something wrong? You look angry." Ali mumbled and put one hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head.

"No, it's okay. I just can't listen to it when he keeps on lying to her like that. Edward is so good at it."

"Hmm, I know. Must have to do with his job, I guess. Or maybe it's a hidden family talent."

I chuckled slightly and put the plates back into the cupboard. My eyes fell on the small picture that was standing on the edge of the countertop. Esme had taken it on the day I went home after Lilly's birth. Edward was holding her in his arms, their hair a completely equal shade of dark copper. I one the other hand looked like crap. My face was still bloated and my eyes had deep shadows under them, because I hadn't been able to sleep properly after the cesarean. Automatically I reached down to touch over the ugly, bulging scar on my abdomen. Ali would be disgusted if she would ever see it.

"What are you doing? Are you in pain?" She asked me anxiously.

"Nothing, it's nothing. I was just in thoughts."

"Hmm, okay. But you would tell me if something is wrong with you, will you? I care about you."

I planted a soft kiss on her cheek that turned into a bright crimson color.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

She cupped my face between her hands and kissed my mouth very gently. A shiver went down my spine as the tip of her tongue licked over my bottom lip.

With a low sigh I pulled back. It was way too risky to kiss her with Lilly in the next room. I wanted to kiss her…again and again…until my lips would be all red and swollen.

"Kissing you is so different from kissing anyone else I've kissed before."

She chuckled slightly.

"You're like Scarlett O'Hara."

"I didn't know there were lesbians in Gone with the Wind."

"There aren't. I knew that, trust me."

"Then why am I like her?"

"Well, you have to know that it's the favorite movie of my ex." She rolled her eyes at that.

"Jasmine made me watch that corny thing at least once or twice a month."

There was the small hint of an unpleasant feeling somewhere deep down in my stomach. At first I didn't know what it was but then I realized that it was jealousy. Damn it, Bella. How can you be jealous? She's pretty and nice. I bet she had a lot of girl-friends. It's not like she's waited her entire life to end up with the chubby wife of her brother.

She sat down on one of the kitchen chairs but didn't let go of my hand.

"You're curious about her, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. It doesn't matter at all. What did you mean with the Scarlett thing?"

"Hmm, there's this scene when Rhett comes to her house to propose to her. Then he tells her something like…that no one has ever kissed her properly before. That's what I meant."

"Oh, I see."

I wondered if it would feel the same, if I kissed another woman now. Not that I wanted to try. Kissing Angela had been awkward enough. Her mouth tasted terribly of bubble gum and then there were Jess and Mike hooting in the background. Maybe it didn't have to do with the fact that Ali was a girl. Maybe it was something that was just her and nothing else.

"And about Jazz," she mumbled and started stroking up my forearm, leaving trails of fire on my skin wherever she touched it.

"I've been together with her for about a year before I moved to Paris. She's really nice but a little bit too moody for my taste. We both decided that it would be better for us to be friends. I wanted different things from my life than a job in a hospital."

"She's a doctor?"

"A psychologist,"

I frowned because I hated shrinks more than anything. Charlie, my father had told me that they were all secretly wrong in the head themselves.

"Don't make such a face. Jazz doesn't have a leather couch in her office. She's helping cancer patients to deal with their condition."

Then she leaned forward and twisted a wisp of my hair around her dainty fingers.

"Your hair is so beautiful."

"You said that before."

"Yeah, I know. I got the impression that you believe me if I tell you that. Unlike the other things, I keep telling you."

"Ali, please."

She raised both of her hand in a placatory gesture.

"Kay, I won't bring it up again."

"Was Jasmine your first girl-friend?" I asked her curiously.

She shook her head.

"Nope, she was just the first serious relationship I had after my coming out."

Then she smirked sheepishly.

"Was my brother your first boy-friend?"

"Of course not, I was twenty-five when we met. What kind of question is that anyway?"

"Bella, I'm just kidding. You seemed so tensed somehow."

"Because you're irritating me more and more,"

"I'm sorry about that, Bella."

"You don't look too sorry to me."

A light chuckle that sounded more like the ringing of a bell left her throat.

"Yeah, that's right. To be honest, it's kind of fun."

"Fun," I mumbled.

Then she took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"Bella, you look as if you didn't have a lot of it in your life until now."

"I'm sorry to destroy your view on things…but not everything in life is about having fun."

"You sound like Carlisle."

"Sorry, but it's true."

"You're such a nerd,"

"That's not true."

Her ruby tinted lips twitched upwards, turning into that breathtaking smile that made me melt from the inside out. God, what was happening with me?

"Prove it."

"Prove what?"

"That you're not a nerdy old house-wife. Go out with me tonight."

"Ali, it's a week day and I can't leave Lilly here alone."

"I'll call Rose, she'll take her."

"Kay,"

Rosalie would be far too happy to get to spend time with her niece that she wouldn't care about why I would need her as a babysitter.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Well Jasmines current partner Maria owns a club here in Seattle."

"A gay club?"

"No, a club for stamp collectors; Jeez, Bella of course it's a scene club. Where else would I go with you?"


	7. Chapter 7

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Guess, who is back with a new chapter for you? Yeah, it's me again. Hope that makes you happy.

This chapter is dedicated to **Herschie **and **Muffin-DanishFreak** for leaving such lovely reviews that really encouraged me to continue writing. Thanks a lot for them!

*Lemon alert in this one, feel free to leave if you don't want to read about the nice things two girls can do to and with each other. Citrus fruits are good for your health by the way.*

****Chapter 7****

My palms started sweating a little bit and my heartbeat skipped a beat as I stepped out of the car. Quickly I wiped my hands on the sleeves of my shirt and turned to Ali.

"I can't believe I agreed to this." I whispered nervously.

She twisted a wisp of my hair around her dainty fingers and pulled me closer to her. Then she planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

"You don't have to be afraid. I'll protect you."

"From what?" I asked her, my voice trembling slightly.

She chuckled and took my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"In case someone starts hitting on you or anything."

I rolled my eyes at that. As if such a thing would ever happen…

"Let's go." I mumbled while I held on to her hand as if it was a life belt.

Inside the club everything was dimmed into warm orange light that made my skin look two shades darker. Low music was playing in the background while several pairs of men tried to dry hump each other on the small dance floor.

For a week day it was surprisingly crowed and the air was sticky. I inhaled deeply through my nose as she leaded me through the club.

"Cullen!"

Simultaneously we turned around to face a pair of pitch-black eyes that belonged to a young man with a short ash blond ponytail. A ginger-haired beauty, which was wearing something that was supposed to be a skirt had her perfectly, manicured hand on his broad shoulder.

I felt Ali stiffen next to me. Did she know them?

"Hello Ali," he greeted her with a husky voice and licked his lips.

"Hi James," she mumbled while she grabbed my hand so tightly that it was almost painful.

"Don't you want to introduce us to your new _frie-nd_?" the red-head asked her, making the last word two syllables.

Ali cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"Bella this is James and his girlfriend…,"

"Wife,"

"Fine, his wife Victoria…"

"It's always nice to meet Ali's friends." James told me and shook my hand for a moment.

I wondered what a heterosexual couple would do in a club like this. Somehow Ali didn't really seem to like them very much.

"We didn't know that you were back from Paris."

"Hmm,"

"I really like your new haircut…it's sexy."

Victoria reached her hand out to stroke over the spikey, dark curls.

"Thanks." Ali mumbled while she took a step backwards.

"Vic and I have a new house. You should totally come and see it. The tube is big enough…,"

"James," She warned him.

"Oh come on, Cullen. Don't be such a prude. When will you finally agree to spend a night with us?"

"When the fire of hell freezes to ice,"

"Too bad," Victoria stated, running her fingers through the flames of her curly hair.

"Maybe Bella would be up for a little threesome fun?"

I cringed slightly while I desperately hoped that the light inside here would cover my embarrassed blushing.

"James! Victoria! Stop molesting my guests."

A tall raven-haired woman with olive colored skin told them cheerfully and wrapped an arm around Ali's shoulder. Silently I followed them over to the bar where I sat down on a chair that squeaked underneath me.

"Hello Ali. It's so good to see you again."

Then she turned to me.

"My name is Maria Ramirez; I'm the owner of this Gomorrah."

"Hi Maria, I'm Bella Cullen."

"Cullen?"

An irritated look flashed over her face before her lips twitched into a sheepish grin.

"Ali…you didn't."

"No!" She stumbled out, instantly letting go of my hand.

"She's my brother's wife, not mine." Somehow there was a sad hint in her bell voice that sent an unpleasant feeling deep down my stomach.

"Oh, I see. Does Edward know where you take his spouse?"

"Jeez, Maria, they are just married. Bella is not his property. We're just here to have some fun."

"Fine," she stated. "Do you want to drink something, beer perhaps?"

"Wine would be nice," I told her while I fought the urge to take Ali's hand again. Maybe she wouldn't touch me anymore now. God, how much I wanted her to…

I took the glass that Maria handed me and nipped on the burgundy liquid. It tasted good, like wild honey and berries. How much better would it taste from her lips…God, damn it Bella. Stop thinking stuff like that.

"Do you want to dance?" Ali asked me after a while.

"Dance with you?" I stumbled out while my mouth felt suddenly very dry.

"Of course with me, Bella…or you could go and ask James if you preferred that."

I put my finger in my mouth and made some choking noises.

"No way,"

Slowly she wrapped one arm around my waist and guided me to the dance floor.

"Ali, please. You need to know that I'm the worst dancer in the world."

A low chuckle left her throat as she pulled me closer; with the high heels she had decided to wear she was almost my height.

"Don't worry. It's a slow song. We don't have to move a lot."

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply before I leaned down to rest my head on her bare shoulder.

Slowly she started rocking her hips against mine while her hands started stroking my back in soft circles.

For a moment I wondered how we would look like to the other people in the club. Would they think that we were a couple? The thought put a smile on my face. Somewhere deep in the corner of my mind I knew that I should be horrified by this.

It was wrong to like her that much, wrong to run my fingers over the exposed skin of her neck, wrong to enjoy the vanilla scent that seemed to be streaming out of her pores. Everything about it was wrong, but I didn't know how I was supposed to stop me from wanting more of it.

**XXXX**

"Penny for your thoughts," She murmured while I turned off the engine of the car in front of the house.

"Hmm, it's nothing really."

"You've been so quiet for the entire ride. Didn't you like it in the club?"

"I'm just a bit tired, Ali. It was really nice…well apart from the freaks."

She frowned and stepped out of the car.

"Yeah, I know. James and Victoria can be quite intimidating."

"You seemed so nervous when we met them." I whispered, searching for my keys in my handbag.

"You recognized that?" Her voice sounded embarrassed now.

I nodded my head and opened the door. Her fingers brushed over mine as I switched on the light. The touch of her fingertips was light as a feather. Still it made each hair on my body stand up.

She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.

"I'm going to take a shower now." I told her after I placed a glass of coke in front of her; real coke. She refused to drink the sugar free option that I preferred.

"Want some company?" She asked me, her eyes sparkling like liquid caramel. God, her eyes were so beautiful. They could make me forget my own name.

Company…why the hell would she want to shower with me? Then I realized what she was thinking about and my mouth fell open in horror.

"Ali, I can't…,"

There was no way I could let this happen. Not because the thought of her soaked body against mine wasn't tempting but because I knew that she would be disgusted if she would see me naked.

"Bella…,"

"Hmm?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Yeah, I know."

I sat down next to her and took her hand in mine. Slowly I started rubbing small circles all over her forearm. Her skin felt so incredibly warm and soft on my fingertips.

She leaned over and planted a soft kiss on my mouth that increased the tingling in my stomach.

"Sorry," She murmured as she pulled back a few moments later.

"I shouldn't keep on doing that."

"Don't you like to kiss me?" I asked her, cursing myself for the slight trembling in my voice.

"God, Bella. Can't you feel how much I like it?" She told me and put my hand on her chest, placing it right above her heart that pulsated against my palm.

"I can barely look at you without thinking about taking your hand or kissing your full lips or…,"

Or feeling my skin on yours over and over again, I added silently. How could it be possible that she was thinking exactly what I thought? It was as if we were two sides of the same page in a book.

"Ali, please…"

"Shhh, I know that I shouldn't have these thoughts about you. It's wrong."

"So wrong," I mumbled while a shiver went down my spine.

I wrapped my arms around her delicate waist and pulled her closer, knowing that if I would let go of her now I would crumble into tiny pieces of nothing.

"So we both know that it's wrong…but still…,"

"None of us is strong enough to stop, at least for now."

My fingertips moved under the thin cotton fabric of her shirt and I felt her shiver under my hands.

Then she stood up from the couch in a swift, graceful movement.

"Time for your shower," she told me, putting one of my fingers into her warm mouth to suck on it. My knees felt like yell-o, I wondered how I managed to stay upright.

As soon as we were inside the bathroom she switched off the light.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to make you feel more comfortable," She murmured against my lips before the tip of her tongue slipped into my mouth.

I took two steps backwards until I felt the cold glass of the shower against my back; moments later warm water poured down my head.

"Ali!"

She chuckled and pulled me closer to her. My nipples hardened instantly as they brushed over the soaked fabric of her shirt.

"You are crazy,"

"Maybe a little bit." She whispered while she quickly unbuttoned my blouse. Then she leaned down and closed her lips around the hardened nub. A low whimper left my throat as her teeth grazed the sensitive skin that was only covered by a thin layer of silk. I felt a wetness pouring between my legs that had zero to do with the water of the shower that was running down my body.

With shaking hands I pulled her shirt over her head. I cupped her perky breasts in my hands, massaging them gently while I rolled her nipples between my thumb and my forefinger.

Her lips found mine again and a low moan escaped her throat before my tongue entered her mouth to explore its sweet warmth.

I pulled the zipper of her jeans down and started circling her flat stomach with my fingers. Slowly I put my hand deeper and deeper until I felt her slick folds on my fingertips. And heaven help me, it felt so incredibly good to touch her here.

She was completely bare and so…so…,"

"Wet," I whispered against her neck before I sucked the pale flesh between my lips, not caring if I would leave a mark on her.

"Oh Bella,"

I flicked my tongue over her earlobe, while the silky ends of her short hair tickled my cheek.

"Ali, I don't really know how to touch a woman."

A bell-like chuckle left her lips before she covered my hand with hers. Slowly she showed me how she liked it. My thumb circled over the throbbing pearl of her clit and she cried out in sheer bliss. It was a good thing that we were alone in the house tonight.

"Bella," she mumbled her voice thick with lust now. "Let me feel your fingers inside of me."

Hesitantly I shoved two fingers inside of her, feeling her walls stretch around them. She was so tight and hot like liquid lava. I added a third one and she moaned loudly.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No," she croaked out. "Don't be afraid. It just has been a while."

A while? What did she mean with that? It was pretty obvious why I didn't have sex in the last months but her? She was so pretty and sexy.

I pumped my fingers inside her faster now, while my thumb never stopped to caress the sensitive flesh around her tiny pearl. More wetness poured over my hand. And the thought that I had done this to her soaked my own panties.

"Kiss me," she whispered and captured my mouth again. Her tongue nudged against mine. Then her whole body started trembling in my arms as she convulsed against my fingers inside her.

Slowly I pulled them out, the musky scent that filled the steamy air now made me feel dizzy. Was that me or her…or both of us?

She turned off the water and wrapped a towel around my shoulder. I sat down on the edge of the tube while her lips never left mine.

"You…" she mumbled breathlessly against my mouth. "…are…wonderful."

Then she kneeled down in front of me and shoved my ruined panties down my thighs. Painfully slowly her lips and tongue caressed their insides while I felt my clit starting to throb.

Finally…finally she licked over the overheated flesh between my legs, lapping up all the wetness that kept pouring out my entrance.

The tip of her tongue nudged against the pearl of my clit and I felt the muscles in my stomach tightening.

I wanted to bite my own hand to keep me from screaming out loud but Ali put her right hand around my wrist.

"Don't. I want to hear how I make you feel." Her cool breath tickled my skin, sending shivers down my spine.

My fingers twisted into her damp hair, pulling her closer to me. Closer, but not even close enough. I closed my eyes while her tongue circled my clit again. Faster and faster she flicked its tip against the tiny nub. Two of her fingers entered me and I inhaled sharply between my teeth as she curled them upwards. I hoped to remember to try that with her the next time. Next time…would there be a next time? How much I wanted there to be a next time. All the things I wanted to do with her, wanted her to do to me.

"Ali…," Her name almost died on my lips as the waves of my climax rushed through my body.

Slowly she raised her head again, resting it on my lap for a moment before she cupped my face between her hands to plant kisses all over my face.

"Your bed or mine?" she mumbled into my ear while we stood up, leaving a trail of water behind us as we stepped out of the tube.

"What?"

"Don't tell me that you want to spend the rest of the night alone now."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Thanks for taking the time to read. How do you like how things are developing between the girls? Alice is sweet like candy and Bella is a sugar addict.

Want to read more? Press the review button and leave me some love.


	8. Chapter 8

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Blows kisses to all of her lovely readers. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

This one is dedicated to **MangekyoMasta510** and **Ladeebug59** for telling me that they love my story. I'm so happy that you like what I'm writing.

*Another Lemon in this one. Vitamin C is good for the immune system. Feel free to leave if you don't like it, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be here right now if you didn't. Am I right?*

****Chapter 8****

"Try to relax." She mumbled into my ear while her hands stroked down my neck; the gentle touch of her fingertips sent shivers down my spine.

Then she pulled my messy hair over my shoulder and started kissing down my back. The tip of her tongue licked up each of the tiny drops of water on my skin. It felt heavenly to be caressed that way. The tingly feeling in my stomach seemed to stream into my entire body now.

I wasn't used to so much tender attention. No one had ever touched me the way she did, like she enjoyed it as much as I did.

Something cold poured down on my shoulder blade and I cringed at the sudden temperature difference.

"Ali…,"

"It's just some massage oil."

She put her fingertip under my nose to let me inhale the sweet vanilla fragrance. Hmm, so that was why she always smelled that good.

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply as she started kneading and stretching all the muscles in my back in smooth movements. It was so relaxing that I almost managed to fall asleep, almost.

Slowly I turned around and twisted my hands into her short curls. My lips captured hers, nudging the tip of my tongue against her full bottom lip. With a low moan she parted her lips a little to let me slip into her mouth. My tongue toyed against hers and I sucked its tip between my teeth to nibble on it.

Her hands cupped my left breast and a whimper left my lips as she rolled her thumb over the sensitive skin of my nipple.

Then her mouth closed around the hardened nub while her hand continued massaging my other breast in small circles.

I felt her slim thighs moving higher on mine. Instinctively I rocked my hips against her to get her closer to me. The wetness between her legs left a slick, warm trail on my hipbone.

"Oh Bella…,"

I loved the way my name sounded on her lips, so good…

With trembling fingers she stroked my cheek before she leaned over and planted soft kisses all over my face.

"Will you let me make love to you, Bella?" she murmured against my shoulder while her tongue circled over the pearls of sweat on my collarbone.

Make love to you, make love to you….

How was a woman supposed to make love to another? Maybe she would let me feel her tongue again. The thought send goose bumps down my spine.

She wrapped her arms around my left thigh to lift it up and turned me to the side. I still didn't know what she was about to do and that made me feel a little stupid now. There was so much that I had no clue about.

Then she lowered herself between my parted legs so that her slick folds brushed over the throbbing pearl of my clit. Something that was comparable to an electric shock went through my body.

God that felt so incredibly good.

Slowly she started rocking her hips back and forth; each of the small movements seemed to increase the wetness between her thighs.

"Move with me." She whispered hoarsely and twisted the fingers of her hands with mine. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply through my mouth. Everything around me smelled so incredibly good; the sweetness of the vanilla oil mixing up with the musky scent of our lust.

I perked my hips up against hers and her inner lips nudged against mine in a heavenly pressure that made me moan out in pleasure.

Faster and faster we started rubbing against each other. I could feel more wetness pouring out of my entrance. Or was it hers? Was it my clit that pulsated between my inner lips now or hers? At a certain point it felt almost as if we were no longer two bodies but one.

She was so close to me now…eventually. My legs started shaking and then with the final stroke of her clit against mine she brought me over the edge of my lust. A second later she collapsed on top of me.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. Then I cupped her pretty face in my hand and planted a kiss on her trembling lips. Somehow they tasted salty now.

"Are you crying?" I stumbled out anxiously when I realized that the saltiness on her mouth were tears.

She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

"I'm so sorry about that." She told me, her voice barely a whisper in the darkness now.

"Don't have to be." I assured her while I started stroking down her cheekbone with my fingertips.

"Did I do something wrong? I didn't hurt you or anything?"

Quickly she shook her head before she rested it against my bare chest. The spikey ends of her hair tickled my skin.

"Just hold me now, will you?" she whispered so low that I hadn't been able to hear her if she hadn't been so close to me.

I pulled her closer, one of my hands continued caressing her face, wiping away the last tears from the corner of her eyes. The other one started drawing fine circles down her neck until we finally fell asleep in each other's arm.

**XXXX**

"Morning, sleepyhead," She greeted me cheerfully, planting a soft kiss upon my shoulder.

"Hmm…morning," I mumbled and turned around, carefully wrapping the blanket around me so that she wouldn't see too much of my body. Letting her feel me was starting to feel okay to me…more than okay actually, but letting her see me? No, that was completely out of question.

"Did you sleep well?" She asked me as she sat down next to me, placing a tray on my thighs.

"Yes, I did. What's all this?"

"Breakfast for us of course,"

"Ali, I don't…,"

"Oh come on, Bella. I've spend twenty minutes fighting with this ridiculous thing that you call a toaster."

"Fine, if it makes you happy…,"

Why the hell was she always trying to make me eat? Slowly I took a sip from the cup of white coffee in front of me.

She put one arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek that reddened instantly under the touch of her lips.

"Honey or jelly?" she murmured into my ear.

"Honey, please."

A few drops of the golden colored liquid landed on a piece of buttered toast. Her fingertips brushed over my lips as she put it to my mouth to let me take a bite…and another.

"Good?" she asked me and I nodded my head. Then I leaned forward and licked away a small trail of honey that was running down her thumb.

The doorbell made me almost jump out of the bed.

"Crap!" I called out, already feeling the sweat of fear streaming out of each of my pores.

"What's wrong?"

"That's your sister."

God why did everyone in the Cullen family have to be a morning person?

My eyes caught the small digital alarm clock at the right side of the bed, and I sighed deeply.

Then I stood up and rushed into the bathroom. Quickly I pulled a plain, baby blue shirt over my head and stepped into the jeans skirt I had refused to wear last night. I twisted my hairs into a bum at the end of my neck and walked down the stairs, carefully trying not to stumble over my own feet.

As soon as I opened the door I landed flat on my back. A huge wet tongue brushed over my chin and I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"Fido!"

Rosalie pulled the dog off of me, and I stood up from the hard floor.

"Morning, Rose." I mumbled while I wiped the slobber out of my face.

"Hi Bella, you look as if you've fallen out of your bed right now. What happened to your plans to jog in the morning? It would help you to get rid of your belly fat."

Lovely as always….

"Hmm,"

"Mommy!" Lilly called out and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck so that I could lift her up. I planted a kiss on her copper hair that always smelled a little bit of the strawberry shampoo I used to wash it with.

The dog started whimpering, and I reached down to pet his huge head with my fingertips.

"Fido, sit!" Rosalie instructed while I put Lilly down again.

She pulled a few biscuit crumbles out of her pocket and let the dog lick it off her hands.

"Lilly, honey, you can't give Fido stuff like that. He'll get sick."

"But he likes it."

"Lilly, your aunt is right. We'll find something that you can feed him in the kitchen."

She grabbed the dog around the metal collar and pulled him after her. Fido was a strange mutt…a mixture of a Keeshond and Labrador with the size of a calf. Emmett had gotten it from a shelter in an attempt to cheer his wife up. Like such a thing was possible.

I poured Rosalie a glass of orange juice and handed Lilly a piece of cheese that immediately disappeared in the mouth of the dog.

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"Can I have a puppy for my birthday?"

"Honey, you know that your daddy is allergic to the hairs."

"But mommy...,"

"Allergic?" Ali asked me while she entered the kitchen with ballet-like moves. She hugged her sister and planted a kiss on each of her cheeks.

"Hi, Tinker-Ali. You look pretty."

"Don't call me that, Rose. It's embarrassing."

A low chuckle left the mouth of my blonde sister-in-law as she sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"And just for the record; Edward is not allergic, he's just scared of them."

"What a coward. Emmett will have to give Fido to one of our neighbors when we come to Lilly's party. I can't risk my brother to spend his daughter's birthday in fear."

I bit my lower lip nervously, while I desperately tried to remind myself that it would be totally inappropriate to take Ali's hand now.

"Is something wrong?" Rosalie asked me when she recognized the stressed expression on my face.

"Lilly, go to your room, honey."

"Can I take Fido with me?"

"Hmm, yes you can. Just don't let him lay on your bed, okay?"

As soon as she was out of the room I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Edward won't be here for her birthday. He told me that…,"

"What do you mean he won't be here? Is that some kind of joke?"

"No. He said that he needs to work."

Her blue eyes narrowed into angry slits. Then she pulled her cell out of her handbag.

"Rose, please…don't."

"Ah, just shut up, Bella. I know that you're way too chicken to stand up to him…," I cringed slightly but then I felt a warm dainty hand touching my thigh under the table.

"I won't let my brother do that to Lilly."

It seemed to take forever until he finally picked up the phone. I wondered what he had been doing right now. Rosalie put him on loud speaker before she snarled into the receiver.

"You, you…selfish little ass!"

"Rose?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"What's wrong? You sound angry."

"I am not angry, Edward. I'm pissed!"

"Why? Look, Rosalie if this about the surrogate mother again. I swear that I thought you've talked to Emmett about it before…,"

A surrogate mother? I raised one eyebrow in confusion, and Rosalie gave me a dirty look.

"It doesn't have to do with that. Your useless wife told me that you won't be here for Lilly's birthday."

"Jeez, Rosie, I'm sorry about that but I have to work. There are deadlines…,"

"I don't care about your stupid deadlines! I care about Lilly. She will be so disappointed if you won't be here."

"Rosalie, I don't have the time to discuss this with you right now."

"Fine, Edward. We'll talk about it later. Don't you think that this conversation is over."

With that she disconnected the call and shoved the silvery cell back into her handbag.

"I have to go now. Can I leave Fido here until get back from my hormone injection?"

Great, as if she needed any more estrogen inside her blood. All the estrogen in the world wouldn't help her to get pregnant. Of course, I would rather bite my own tongue than to tell her that.

"Yeah, you can leave him here. Lilly will be thrilled."

"Okay, that's great. I'll pick him up later then. Don't let her feed him all the time. We don't want the poor animal to get overweight." Her eyes moved up and down my body as she said the last word, and I thought about breaking her perfect snub nose with my fist.

_She's just jealous of you._

Then she stood up and kissed Ali on the cheek to tell her goodbye.

Suddenly she giggled and put her hand on her sisters' slim neck.

"You should probably cover that up before you leave the house."

My eyes caught the small deep red mark between her neck and her collarbone. I remembered sucking on the sensitive skin and my face turned into bright crimson color.

"Jeez, Bella. Don't be such a prude. It's just a hickey."

She turned to Ali who pulled out a tiny mirror to look at the mark. A small smile flashed over her pixie-face as she touched it with her fingertips.

"Do I know her?"

"Whom?"

"The girl who gave you the hickey, of course."

"Definitely not, Rose. You don't know her at all."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

How did you like the new chapter? Was the lemon okay? Why do you think Ali cried?

What do you think of Rose? Let me know…your nice reviews encourage me to continue writing.


	9. Chapter 9

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Gives hugs to all her lovely readers out there. Thanks so much for your support.

This chapter is dedicated to **Hayley** for figuring out so perfectly why I made Ali cry last time and to **randomkeyboard** for telling me that my writing is awesome.

****Chapter 9****

I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed deeply while the warm rays of the sun warmed my face in a pleasant way. Ali was lying next to me on a picnic blanket. Her caramel eyes focused on the drawing in front of her. It was fascinating to watch her work, although it was quite difficult to imagine how it could be turned into an actual dress.

"You are really making me nervous." She mumbled after a while, letting the pencil drop to the grass around us.

"Why?"

"Because of the way you keep looking at the sketch. I don't know why but I really want you to like what I'm doing."

God, I liked the things she was doing far too much…

She leaned over and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. For a split second I thought about turning my head so that I could cover her lips with mine.

Then I remembered that we were in the middle of a park, and my little four year old daughter was just a few steps away from us, playing with the calf-sized dog of my bitchy sister-in-law.

"You don't have to be nervous." I whispered into her ear, desperately fighting the urge to wrap my arms around her now. Instead I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently for a moment. It would be okay to do that in public wouldn't it? My heart skipped a beat and my palms started sweating slightly.

"The same goes for you, Bella." She murmured while she started drawing fine circles all over my wrist.

"Try to relax. Nobody is watching us."

"I'm sorry, Ali. This is all just so…so…" difficult, complicated, messed up, I finished in my head.

"Yeah, I know. The whole situation sucks." she stated before she put my hand to her lips to plant kisses all over my knuckles. With a low sigh she let go of my hand.

"It's like there are two different voices inside my head. One keeps telling me to run away from this as long as I still can. I'm terribly scared to get hurt."

"Ali, please…"

Automatically I reached forward to take her hand again, suddenly afraid that she would leave now. It was so selfish that I wanted her to stay here with me. She deserved better than to have a secret affair with the overweight wife of her brother, so much better.

"But there is the second one." She continued, the weak attempt of a smile flashing over her beautiful face.

"The one that keeps telling me, that if I'd go now, I will probably regret it for the rest of my life."

Tears started glittering in the corners of her eyes. Slowly I put one arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to me. I didn't care what others would think if they saw us right now. All I wanted to do was comfort her, comfort me. Find a way to wash away the guild that felt like burning acid on our souls.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked me anxiously.

"Anything,"

"Do you love my brother?"

I stiffened next to her. This was probably the worst question she could have asked me.

"Of course I love him. Edward is probably the most handsome man I've ever seen in my life. He's smart and charismatic and...,"

"Bella…I wanted to know if you love him, not what you love about him."

"Isn't that the same?"

She shook her head so that the spikey curls of her hair tickled my neck.

"Edward and I…we are very different,"

"Yeah, I know."

"At first I was thrilled that such a good looking man showed interest in me. Then, when I finally managed to look behind the pretty façade it was already too late."

"Too late?" she raised one eyebrow in confusion. "How can it be too late?"

"It's too late to leave him. I can't do that to Lilly."

"Do that to her? Bella, this isn't about your child; it's just about you and Edward."

"Ali, if I get a divorce now, everyone would think I've totally lost my mind."

"Does it matter what other people think?"

"You don't care about that at all, do you?"

She frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest as if she was trying to keep herself from falling apart.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's okay. You are right. I don't care about what other people say. They don't have to like my life. I just wished that my father would start to accept the choices I've made for it."

"Yeah, I know. The way he talked to you in the hospital, it was so rude." I planted a kiss on her palm, deeply inhaling the sweet scent of her skin.

"You don't deserve to be treated that way."

"Oh and you do?"

"Ali, that's completely different."

"No, it's not. My sister was such a stupid bitch to you. If I were you I would have thrown her out of the house. And don't let me get started on my brother. How can he dare to cheat on you with this strawberry-haired whore?"

"Because he knew, that I would never say anything about that to him. It's my fault that he doesn't want to sleep with me anymore. I look like crap."

A horrified expression flashed over her face. The thought of him touching me seemed to disgust her as much as it seemed to disgust Edward to put his hands on me.

"I hate the way he makes you feel." she stated angrily.

"You don't look like crap. You are beautiful and sexy. Why do you think I wanted to make love with you last night?"

**XXXX**

She pulled my hair over my shoulder and planted a kiss upon the sensitive skin of my neck. A pleasant shiver went down my spine under her soft caress. It felt so good to be touched in such a careful, gentle way.

"Why are you always so tender to me?" I mumbled while she started stroking up and down my upper arm.

"Because I want to show you how much I care about you."

Slowly I took two steps backwards and sat down on the wooden kitchen chair. My throat felt suddenly very dry. Quickly I gulped down a glass of lukewarm Diet-coke that was standing on the table in front of me.

"Ali, you know that I like you a lot." A lot more that I should do, I added silently.

"But it scares you, doesn't it?"

I nodded my head and stared down on the ground, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with her now.

"Bella, please look at me." She whispered as she kneeled down in front of me.

"I'm scared too."

"Yeah, I know. You told me that you are scared to get hurt."

"Yes, I am. But I'm also afraid about the feelings I've started to develop for you. It's so wrong to like you that much."

"It would be that much easier if we had met six years ago."

"I highly doubt that, Bella. You know that I was just seventeen back then."

My cheeks reddened as I finally managed to look up again. Ali was still so young. There were so many things that she could do with her life…so many possibilities.

She cupped my face between her dainty hands and chuckled softly.

"Although I was always very mature for my age of course,"

I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her closer to me. Then I felt her hot breathe tickling my upper lip. The tip of her tongue slipped into my slightly parted mouth. A low moan left her throat as I sucked her bottom lip between my teeth to nibble on it. I loved the way her mouth tasted. Or the way her velvety tongue felt against mine as she explored my mouth, so heavenly.

"Ali, why do I want you that much?" I whispered breathlessly as I finally managed to pull back.

"Well, I bet it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm such an awesome kisser." She answered smugly.

"Yes you are…and you're pretty good at a lot of other nice things too."

"I had a good teacher." Her lips twitched for a moment but her eyes looked sad somehow.

An unpleasant wave of jealously rushed through my heart. It hurt me more to think about the girls she might have kissed before than to consider all the kinky things my husband was doing with his so-called secretary in Alaska right now. What did that say about that loveless joke that I dared to call a marriage?

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"Don't tell me you are jealous now? There's no reason to be. I would never go back to her…ever."

"I'm sorry. I have no right to feel that way. It's so embarrassing." I mumbled against her neck.

"Never, ever apologize to me for your emotions. They make you who you are."

"Were you in love with her?" I asked her while she put a wisp of my chestnut hair behind my ear.

"For a very long time I thought I was. But now I know that what was between me and Victoria was nothing but a physical attraction."

"Wait a minute. Victoria? Wasn't that the redhead wife of that son of a bitch who wanted to have a threesome with you?"

"Exactly,"

"So she was with you before she met him?"

Ali sighed deeply and stood up from the ground. Her hands were trembling slightly.

"I'd prefer not to talk about it anymore, if that's okay."

"Yes of course. Look, I'm really sorry that I asked you. It was stupid. Please forget it."

I hugged her tightly from behind and planted several kisses down her collarbone.

After a few moments she relaxed in my arms. Slowly she stroked down my bare forearms with her fingertips until she reached my hands.

"I'm jealous too, you know." She whispered her voice so low that I could barely hear her speak at all.

"Of Edward?"

"Not really of him himself. Do you remember when Maria thought that you were my wife because we have the same name?"

Jeez, that had been so awkward.

She put my left hand in front of my eyes. The diamonds on my wedding band sparkled in the sunlight, throwing tiny prisms on the other wall of the kitchen.

"I don't want everyone to think that you're his. It's nothing but a lie on a piece of paper."

I closed my eyes and started to shove the fragile piece of gold down my ring finger. It wasn't easy to get it off, because my fingers were still swollen although I had stopped taking the pill over two months ago. What use was there in taking it when I never had sex with my husband?

My fist closed around the ring so tightly that it hurt the healing cut in my palm. A sharp pain went through my hand and I cringed.

With a loud clangor it landed in the sink.

"You don't have to do that, Bella. Not if you're not ready."

"I am."

"Does that mean you are going to divorce my brother?"

I sighed deeply.

"No it doesn't. I just know that I don't want to go on like this anymore. You were right that my marriage is a lie."

Gently she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me so close that I could hear her heart beating against my chest.

"That's a start."

Her soft lips nudged against mine as lightly as if they were the wings of a butterfly.

"There was never a better time to start then now."

"Never," she mumbled against my lips, before her tongue slipped into my mouth. Her hands moved down my spine and disappeared under my shirt.

I lifted her up on the kitchen counter while my fingertips circled over the top button of her blouse.

Something creaked but I was way too distracted by Ali's mouth on mine to pay any attention to it. Whatever it was, it would disappear if I ignored it. At least I hoped so, but then I heard a deep voice right next to us.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

**XOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] Yeah, I know that was an evil cliffy. Don't hate me too much. Who do you think caught them?


	10. Chapter 10

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] thanks to all of you who faved and/or alerted my story; especially those of you who take the time to leave a review. It really means a lot to me.

This one is dedicated to **Kyraaah1992** for cracking me up completely with her review this time when she wrote that it could have been the dog that caught them. Thanks so much for making me laugh.

And to **Flummie the turtle** for telling me how much she loves my story. You really made my day.

The love someone/ love things about someone is from the movie 'I can't think straight'. If you haven't seen it yet, I can highly recommend watching it. One of the best lesbian movies I've seen.

**Lemon alert in this chapter. As usual don't like/ don't read**

****Chapter 10****

"What the fuck is going on here?" he asked again, his voice having an almost amused sound now.

I heard someone gasping for air and after a few moments I realized that it was me. Would I faint now? That would probably be the quickest way to get out of this awkward situation. Come on, Bella, faint already.

"Breathe, Bella." Ali whispered next to me before she nervously cleared her throat and turned to her bear-like brother-in-law.

"Hi Emmett, what are you doing here?"

"Picking up Fido, but I think that this is much less interesting than what the two of you were about to do." An evil grin flashed over his face, exposing a row of white teeth that made him look like a shark.

The weak excuse 'it's not like it looks like' popped through my head, although I knew of course that it had been exactly what it had looked like. God, at least we hadn't been naked. Maybe that had made Emmett faint though?

Ali's voice was trembling when she spoke up again.

"Whatever is going on between me and Bella – what is nothing – is none of your damn business McCarthy."

He raised both hands while a low chuckle left his throat.

"It didn't look too much like a nothing for me.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, her caramel eyes narrowing into tiny slits.

"I'm serious about that. Don't forget that I knew a lot of things about you that you wouldn't want your wife to know."

"Oh come on, Tinker-Ali that's not fair. I've only told you about Mexico because I had no one else to talk to. You know how your family thinks about the whole issue."

"Thinks about what?" I asked in confusion. I highly doubted that Emmett was having an affair behind Rosalie's back. He practically worshipped the ground she walked on.

"Nothing," he mumbled through greeted teeth.

"We are starting to develop a weird kind of definition for 'nothing'."

"Yeah, I guess we are."

Then he turned to me. It was the first time he had addressed me directly since he had entered the kitchen.

"Bella, you really shouldn't…,"

"I know, don't you think I know?" I interrupted him, my voice already shaking from the tears I was trying to hold back. What if he told Rosalie…or worse…what if he told Edward? He would never let me see Lilly again.

"...leave the front door open like this."

"Leave the front door open?" God, I started to sound like a complete moron. Was it possible to lose too many brain cells by a shocking experience like this?

"I'm serious about that Bella. Anybody could have entered the house. What would you have done if a burglar would have showed up here instead of me?"

"I…don't know," I croaked out.

"See, that's what I thought. Your smartass of a husband should have let you do this self-defense course that I recommend to him instead installing the alarm equipment."

"Oh Emmett, please don't tell him."

"Tell him what? About the little lesbo-show you and Ali were about to have in here?"

My face flushed three different shades of red. What if my cheeks would stay that way?

He chuckled and sat down on one of the kitchen-chairs.

"I didn't know that you swung both ways, Bella."

"I don't…,

"Whatever. I can't blame you for it though. Your paragraph-shitting husband is never around. It's normal that you get lonely."

"I'm not lonely." I stated, although I knew that his words were true. How embarrassing was it that someone like Emmett could figure it out that easily. Tears started pouring down my face, and Ali leaned forward to wipe them away with the sleeves of her shirt.

"Please don't cry."

"She's right, Bella. You know that I can't see that. It makes me feel awkward."

"Sorry about that."

"No biggie. Oh and you don't have to be afraid that I will tell anyone. I don't stick my nose in other people's life…unlike your husband."

"Thanks," I mumbled towards the ground, way too embarrassed to look him in the eyes right now.

"You could thank me by letting me watch you and Tinker-Ali in action."

"You're such a perv McCarthy!" Ali called out and tried to punch him in his stomach. He didn't even seem to notice it at all.

"What a pity though. Dykes have all the fun."

**XXXX**

When I was a little child I had sometimes wondered what hell would be like. I imagined it with a lot of fire, grimacing devils and a lot of other scary things. Now that I was grown-up I realized that hell could be any place on earth, literally any. Right now my personal hell took place at the crowded family table in the Cullen living room. Esme had invited all of us for dinner in her house to celebrate the return of her 'baby-daughter'.

I was beyond nervous, constantly feeling a wave of fear running down my spine whenever Emmett's eyes met mine. So what if he had promised to keep his mouth shut? He was such a bubbly person and could probably slip easy…

"Bella you really shouldn't eat all of this herb butter. That won't help you to lose weight." Rosalie instructed. Tonight her mood seemed to be worse than ever.

I took an extra piece of the butter to provoke her, putting it on my steak where it instantly started to melt.

"One second on the lips, a lifetime on the hips."

Fucking bitch, I wondered what she would look like without her pretty blonde hair….

Ali cleared her throat and wiped her ruby tinted lips on a napkin.

"Many cultures consider round hips a symbol of fertility."

Rosalie dropped her fork and gave her sister a dirty look. For a moment it looked as if she would throw something at Ali's head but then she just took a deep breath through her nose and sighed.

"Auntie Rosie?"

"Yes, honey."

"Can I give my broccoli to Fido?"

"No, sweetie. I don't think that's a good idea."

"But I don't want to eat it. It's yucky."

"Veggies are not yucky." I stated, emphasizing each single word.

Halfheartedly she started shoving the green pieces all around her plate, her eyes focused on the russet dog that was lying on a blanket next to the table.

"How did your hormone injection go today?" Esme asked her blonde daughter.

"Fine," she mumbled. "Dr. Gerandy says that we can probably start extracting the eggs in a few days."

"Good luck," Ali whispered. "I know that this is hard for both of you."

"Thanks Tinker-Ali. It's not like I have a lot of hard work to do. All I need to do is jizz into…,"

"Emmett!"

"What? Just saying like it is, Babe."

"You shouldn't say stuff like that when the little one can hear you." Carlisle told him while he continued reading the medical book in his left hand.

"How many eggs are they going to implant this time?" Esme wanted to know.

"Three or four, that will increase our chances."

"And you should think about freezing a few of them as well. In case you'll change your mind about the surrogate mother."

"Yes, dad maybe…,"

"No!"

Emmett stood up from the table so quickly that he almost dropped his plate to the ground.

"We will not use a surrogate mother, never."

"Emmett please calm down."

"Carlisle, it was so stupid of you to put that idea in Rosie's head."

"No one put it in her head. All I did was showing her the possibilities the two of you have left."

"I would really prefer it if you stopped giving her advices like that."

"Emmett, my husband is just trying to…,"

"Yeah, I know. Would you please excuse me please, I have to take the dog out."

Then he turned to my daughter who had somehow managed to let the broccoli on her plate disappear. Most of it had probably landed in the stomach of the dog.

"Lilly, do you want to come with me?"

"Yes, please! Mommy, can I go with uncle Emmett?"

I shook my head. It wasn't good to let her be alone with him when he was in a mood like that. He usually used a lot of bad language and I didn't want to have to explain words like 'motherfucker' or 'butthead' to my four-year-old.

Emmett whistled and the dog stood up to follow him into the garden.

Esme sighed deeply and rubbed her forehead with her fingertips. I knew that she hated scenes like that. She was very addicted to harmony. Edward had told me that it had probably to do with her first marriage but he didn't really know a lot about it.

"Lilly, honey have you decided what you want for your birthday yet?"

"Yes grandpa, I want to have a puppy."

"A puppy?"

She nodded her head before her tiny mouth turned into that crooked smile that made her face look like a perfect copy of Edwards.

"Mommy says I can't have one because daddy is allergic…but I really need one."

"What for do you need it?"

"To protect me from the evil witch," she stated as if that would be a complete reasonable argument to buy a dog. As much as she mimicked her father from the outside, her character was so much like mine. I had made up a lot of fictional stuff too when I was her age.

"Lilly, there are no witches." Rosalie assured her, putting a wisp of Lilly's copper hair behind her ear.

"But I saw her. She's so evil and she made my da…,"

"Lilly, sweetie, do you want some ice cream for dessert?" Ali told her in an attempt to distract her. To my relief it was working.

"Chocolate?"

"Of course,"

"Fine; Chocolate ice cream is my favorite."

"Mine too."

"Auntie Ali, when I'm grown up I'm never going to eat broccoli…only ice cream."

"And then she'll get fat like her mother." Rosalie purred so low that only I could hear her. Stupid bitch, I thought. At least I _do_ have a child. You only have a dog that will probably fart the entire night from the broccoli said child fed him.

A grin flashed over my face. I hope he'll sleeps on your side of the bed. That'll serve her right.

"Grandma, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, honey."

"What's a dyke?"

Fuck. My. Life.

I stared down at the floor in the insane hope that the ground would suddenly open up and swallow me. Of course, I wasn't that lucky.

"What's a dyke?" she repeated impatiently. Jeez, why did this child have to be that curious?

"Well, honey…that's when…," My mother-in-law started hesitantly.

"Is that something bad?"

"No, honey…it's just…well…it's just…," she stumbled out, slowly turning pale under the copper curls that framed her heart-shaped face.

Ali giggled next to me until her eyes met those of her father who was giving the saying 'If looks could kill' a whole new meaning.

"See, Esme. That's why it's so wrong to let Mary Alice stay with them. The child snaps up too much that she can't understand. I just hope that she won't bring any of her drugs…,"

"Dad, you know that I would never, ever touch that stuff." She sounded hurt now, and I crossed my hands in front of my chest to keep me from putting one arm around her now.

"Not until now maybe, but everyone knows that the people you work with are always open to sniffing a line or whatever."

"Carlisle, I'm pretty sure that Ali doesn't take drugs." I stated and Esme nodded her head in agreement.

Emmett returned from his short walk. He planted a kiss upon the cheek of his wife and shook his wet hair above her head.

"Arrg, Emmett. That's gross." She mumbled but then she couldn't hold back a giggle. Slowly she cupped his face into her hands to kiss his mouth.

"Did I miss something?"

"Lilly, asked Esme what a dyke is."

"Really?" he croaked out before he burst into laughter. "That's too good."

"Uncle Emmett, do you know what a dyke is?"

"Honey, you should probably ask your aunt Ali…or maybe your mother…,"

Alright, I'm going to kill him, definitely. As soon as I figured out a good way to kill a 200 pound ex-Marine that was almost four heads taller than me, I would do it.

"Auntie Ali?"

"Hmm,"

"What's a dyke?"

She sighed deeply, it was obvious that she didn't want to explain it to her while her parents where around, but my daughter had inherited my stubbornness. There was no way she would shut up about this until she got an answer.

"A dyke is a girl who loves another girl." I whispered after a few awkward moments of silence.

"Like I love you or grandma?"

"It's a little different, honey. But you'll understand that better when you're older."

At least I hoped so. I was that much older than her and I still wasn't able to understand the weird feelings I was starting to have whenever I thought about her pixie-like aunt.

**XXXX**

"Tonight was awkward for you, wasn't it?" Ali asked me while she applied some of the vanilla massage oil on her slim legs. I wondered why she wasn't simply doing it in the bathroom like any normal person would do. Or maybe I should better say that's how I would do it. I shuddered at the thought of someone seeing me naked, or half naked. Of course it was way different for her. Ali was pretty much perfect.

I swallowed hard and licked my lips. Slowly my eyes moved up and down her body. A small drop of water disappeared between her breasts and I leaned forward to lick it up with the tip of my tongue.

A low moan left her throat and she twisted her dainty fingers into my chestnut hair to pull me closer to her. My tongue circled all over her cleavage, tasting the slight salty taste of her skin.

Then she took two steps backwards, dropping the tiny towel that had been wrapped around her to the floor.

Instantly I lowered my head, it wasn't like I didn't want to see her. It was just so…well new somehow. It wasn't right to look at another woman like that. God, so much about this was wrong and irritating.

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"Don't you want to look at me?" Her voice was almost trembling now.

When I looked up again, her eyes met mine. The caramel of them seemed to melt around the iris.

"I love your eyes." I mumbled while my hand reached forward to cup her beautiful face in it.

Her lips captured mine as I pulled her closer again. My heartbeat quickened as I felt her bare breasts against my upper body that was only covered by a thin t-shirt now.

The tip of her tongue nudged against mine, its velvety touch sending shivers down my spine.

"Please touch me." she whispered hoarsely against my neck.

A smile that made my insides tingle appeared on her face as she took my hand in hers. Slowly, almost hesitantly she guided it down her flat stomach. Her skin felt like warm silk underneath my fingertips.

When my hand finally reached her slick folds she moaned out in pleasure. My fingertips dipped into the pouring wetness between her legs, carefully circling my thumb over the tiny pearl of her clit.

I loved the way her body reacted to my caress. It was almost like magic to me.

Somehow she managed to maneuver both of us over to the bed. Her tongue never left my mouth while my hands continued stroking her gently.

Then she lowered her head and sucked one of my already hardened nipples between her teeth. Each time she bit down on the tiny nub a wave of lust seemed to stream directly into my core.

"Do you want to try something different?" she mumbled while her hands moved under my shirt.

"Yes. No…I don't know." God, why was it that hard to decide anything when my fingers were inside her wet, warm…

"We can always stop, if you don't like it. Don't be afraid, it'll be fun."

"Kay," I croaked out.

She turned to the side and searched for something under the bed. Something pink glittered in her hands when she raised her head again.

"Ali, I really don't know how to use something like that."

"Do you want me to show you?"

I nodded my head and she planted a kiss upon my cheek.

"It's a vibrator." She explained as the unspeakable glittery thing started vibrating in my hands.

"I know that's a vibrator. I just haven't used such a thing before."

"Really? Toys are so much fun to play with." A lot probably, I thought while I felt my panties getting soaked through completely.

"Can I touch you with this?"

Instead of giving me an answer she pulled me closer. One of her hands cupped my lace covered breasts while the other one pulled down the zipper of my jeans. Her fingertips grazed over the moist fabric of my underwear.

Then I leaned over and started moving the vibrator over her slick folds. She whimpered slightly, turning her head from one side to the other.

"More, please" she whispered after a few minutes and the husky sound of her voice was almost as arousing as the gentle touch of her fingers on my throbbing clit right now.

Slowly I shoved the pink colored piece of vibrating plastic into her tight entrance.

"Oh Bella, that feels so good." She moaned against my lips as I started thrusting it deeper and deeper into the wet core of her lust.

My fingers moved between her thighs, finding the tiny pearl of her clit again. Her entire body tensed up for a moment, only to relax again a heartbeat later as her inner muscles convulsed so hard around the vibrator that I could feel it in the palm of my right hand that was holding the other end of it.

I rolled us over so that she was lying on top of me now. Tenderly I kissed her gorgeous mouth, letting the tip of her tongue slip between my lips to nudge it against mine.

"I love the things you make me do." I whispered, planting a soft kiss upon the messy curls of her damp ebony hair.

"Me too," she mumbled while she cupped my face into her hands, slowly stroking her thumbs down my neck.

"And there's still so much more that I can show you."

**XOXOXOXOX**

Thanks for reading. Leave me some review-love to keep me motivated if you want to read more Bellice fun.


	11. Chapter 11

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hi, my lovely readers out there. Thanks for taking the time to read and review my little story. I have so much fun writing this pairing.

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to **Kat** for telling me that my story makes her day and to **beelotus** for liking Bella's inner comments.

*to **Hayley**: I really thought a lot about what you wrote in your review and I think that Bella wouldn't be all that confused if Ali had happened to be a man. In this story Bella has very little self-esteem and is terribly worried about what other people think of her. So she's constantly torn between what she assumes to be right for her to want and what she really needs.*

-Sorry that this one is a little bit short. It was difficult for me to write it.-

****Chapter 11****

"I didn't think that you were the type of girl who gets a tattoo." I mumbled while my fingertips caressed the two red lilies that surrounded the words that were written down her left hipbone.

_*Les seuls beaux yeux sont ceux qui vous regardent avec tendresse*_

"That's French isn't it?

"Oui, mon coeur"

"What does it mean?"

Nervously she cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"Maybe I'll tell you later. Just do me a favor and don't mention the tattoo when my father is around, will you? It'll probably give him a heart attack."

With a low, halfhearted chuckle she rolled us over so that she was lying half on top of me, cuddling her pixie-like body against my side.

I closed my eyes while she started massaging my scalp with smooth, featherlike movements. Then her dainty hands moved down my neck to circle them slowly over the bare skin of my collarbone.

She leaned forward to cover her lips with mine, and I moaned into the warm sweetness of her mouth. A shiver went down my spine as the tip of her tongue nudged against my upper lip. It was wonderful to kiss her. Like her mouth was the gate to something completely new each time mine connected with hers.

Then I felt her left hand slowly pulling up my shirt, carefully stroking each inch of skin she was exposing.

Her lips moved down my cleavage and the pleasant tingling in my stomach seemed to increase with each of my heartbeats.

Suddenly I stiffened because her hand had reached the ugly, bulging scar on my abdomen. Oh god, how could I've been so stupid not to cover myself up? Why didn't I make her turn off the light?

My eyes fell open and when I realized that hers were indeed focused directly at the part of my body I detested the most, I wished I would simply die that very moment.

"Stop looking at me!" I hissed out, my voice already trembling from the tears that instantly started falling down my cheeks. It was an embarrassing habit that I always used to cry that easy…whenever I was sad, or happy or nervous or tensed.

"Bella?" she whispered anxiously as I tried to stand up from the bed as quickly as possible.

She wrapped her dainty fingers around my wrist to keep me where I was.

"Let me go!"

"I will, if you tell me what I've done wrong."

"Nothing, I just don't want anyone to look at my body, ever." I croaked out wiping my running nose with the back of my hand.

My knees felt like yell-o, and I collapsed I front of the bed. It was so wrong to let her see me broken like this. It was almost as mortifying as the fact that she had seen my disgusting stomach…

"I'm not anyone." She whispered so low that I could barely hear the words.

Gently she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I know…you're…so special to me." I mumbled while I buried my face against her neck, deeply inhaling the scent of her warm skin that smelled better to me than anything else in the world.

"That makes it even worse though."

"Why?" she asked me and continued rubbing my back comfortingly.

"Because I don't want you to know how ugly I am,"

"Bella, you are far apart from being ugly, trust me."

Then she cupped my face between her hands, tenderly wiping away the last tears from my cheeks with her lips.

"Ali, please. You don't have to lie to me in order to make me feel better."

"I'm not lying to you. Bella, I know that you can't see with the same eyes that I can see you…but still. How can you think so low about yourself?"

"You can't tell me that the scar isn't ugly."

She sighed deeply before she twisted a wisp of my hair around her fingers.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm,"

"If I had a mark like that on my body, would you think I'm ugly too?"

"That's different, Ali. You are so pretty. What would a single scar…"

"Just answer the question, Bella. Would you be repulsed by it or anything?"

"Of course not. Why should I?"

"Why shouldn't you?"

"Because…well because you'd always be beautiful to me; No matter how you'd look like."

Carefully I stroked down her bare forearm until I reached her hand. Hesitantly I put it to my mouth to plant a kiss on her knuckles.

She sighed deeply and pulled me closer to her.

"See, that's what it's like for me when I look at you."

Slowly I stood up from the ground while I never let go of her hand in mine.

"No more hiding." She murmured against my lips while she started pulling my shirt over my head.

"No more." I whispered and wrapped my arms around her waist.

**XXXX**

For some reason I was afraid to meet Ali's ex-girlfriend. The thought of being in the same room with a shrink made me nervous in an awkward way.

"Relax, Bella." She giggled when she realized how tensed I was.

"Jasmine isn't going to analyze you...,"

"Says who?" a smooth voice with a slight southern accent asked her sheepishly.

"Jazz! You made it!"

The honey-blonde haired woman hugged her tightly and planted a kiss on each of Ali's cheek.

"You look pretty, Ali. How was Paris?"

"Paris was wonderful, but I'm really glad that I'm finally home again."

"I bet your parents are glad too. A few months ago your dad even offered to buy me a round-trip ticket to bring you back to Seattle. He said that you might probably need someone 'professional' to talk some sense into that thick scull of yours."

"That's not true, is it? That man seriously needs some help himself."

"I'd suggest family therapy for all of you. Jeez, Carlisle is just worried. You're his baby and he doesn't want you to get under a bad influence or something like that."

"Arrg…don't start on this baby stuff again. That's just ridiculous. I'm twe..,"

"Honey, I know how old you are, but you'll always be his baby."

Ali sighed and interlaced the fingers of her hand with mine. Carefully she squeezed it under the table.

"Jazz, this is Bella."

"Hello Bella, I'm Jasmine. Your Edwards wife, aren't you?"

I nodded my head while my fingertips caressed the bare skin on my ring finger. It was so ridiculous to assume that taking off my wedding band would make any difference at all.

"Yeah, I guess that's what I am… for now." I mumbled towards the floor.

"For now?" Jasmine asked me and raised one eyebrow.

Ali stared rubbing invisible circles all over my wrist. It was obvious that this situation was difficult for her as well.

"It's complicated."

A low chuckle left Jasmines throat.

"That sentence paid half of my new Harley."

Hmm, and the other one was probably owned by telling people some smart things like that all their problems had to do with the fact that their mother dropped them on the head when they were little.

"You finally bought that bike? That's so awesome."

"Maria hates it. She says it's a death machine."

Ali stood up from the chair. Instantly I missed the touch of her fingers against mine. My eyes met hers and her lips twitched for a split second. How could it be possible that this incredible being wanted to be with me?

Then she cleared her throat loudly.

"I'll get something to drink for the three of us."

With graceful movements she danced around the table and disappeared behind a row of people at the other side of the bar.

"What's going on between you and Ali?" Jasmine asked me as soon as she was out of sight.

My cheeks reddened and I tried to hide it by pulling my hair over my shoulder.

"Nothing…what makes you think that there is something?"

"I see the way you keep looking at her. Like a blind man seeing a rainbow for the very first time."

Crap, I thought. Was it that easy for everyone to see what was going on in my head? Or was it just her with those weird emphatically abilities that came with her profession?

"Don't be afraid, Bella. It's not like I can blame you for it. Ali is probably the prettiest girl I've ever met in my life."

"It's not only about her looks. She's very nice too." I croaked out, and once I had started talking the words seemed to come out of my mouth like a waterfall.

"Ali makes me laugh; she always listens to what I have to say. She makes me feels so…so…like the sun is suddenly a lot brighter when she's in the same room."

Jasmine peeled a peanut from the small plastic bowl in front of us while another smile flashed over her face.

"Does your husband know that you're…well interested in other women in that way?"

"I'm not interested in other women." I mumbled through greeted teeth.

And even if I were, I shouldn't be interested in my husband's younger sister. In my head I had always had a very stereotyped vision of what a lesbian couple what be like. I had never desired that for my own life.

"But you do like Ali, don't you? And that's scaring you because you don't understand it."

"It's confusing. My head keeps telling me over and over again how wrong this is. I'm a married woman."

"Is it wrong because you are married or is it wrong because Ali is a woman?"

"I don't know…probably a little bit of both I guess. The fact that her brother is my husband doesn't really help with that too."

"Your marriage can't be that happy if someone else caught your attention." she murmured while she starting crunching the peanuts in her hands.

"Whatever happy means," I confessed after an awkward moment of silence.

"A lot," she stated. Then she leaned over the table, letting the peanut crumbles fall on the beer coaster in front of her. Her minty breathe tickled my ear before she whispered in it.

"Okay, I'm only going to say this once. So you better remember it, Bella. If you dare to break Ali's heart, I will kill you. Seriously, I'll kill you, and I'm going to make it look like an accident. She doesn't deserve to get hurt again."

"I would never…," I whispered.

"Just remember what I said."

"Remember what?" Ali asked and placed the bottles of coke on the table.

"How important it is to be happy."

**XOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N]*I really hope that I got the translation for Ali's tattoo right. It's a quote from Coco Chanel. The meaning is "The only nice eyes are those who look at you with tenderness"

This will probably be the last update for a few days; real life is keeping me away from writing.

Leave me some reviews to make me happy *smile*


	12. Chapter 12

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Yeah, it's me again…I can't manage to stay away from my laptop. So many ideas for this story…so little time…sigh. Who needs sleep? LOL

Don't hate me too much because this is so short again. Better a short chapter than nothing...

This chapter is dedicated to **aquarius127** for being my 200th reviewer. I hope you'll like my attempt on writing this one from Alice's POV. It will probably answer a few questions or cause new ones. Who knows?

*to **Hayley**: Yep, I'm from Germany too. Funny isn't it?*

****Chapter 12****

_**Ali's POV**_

Slowly I sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake her up. She always looked so peaceful while she was sleeping. I could probably sit here watching her forever and would never get tired of it. The dawning sunlight reflected on the curls of her beautiful hair, bringing out the different shades of red in the warm brown color. I couldn't resist running my fingers through this silkiness before I put one wisp of it behind her ear.

My eyes caught the bare skin on her ring finger and for a moment pure joy warmed my heart. Then I realized that this small gesture – no matter how big it had been for her – wouldn't be enough eventually.

_You're truly the most selfish person on earth. _

The words of my father echoed in my ear over and over again and as much as I wanted to tell myself that they were only spoken in anger; somewhere deep inside of me I knew that they were true.

It was so wrong to have this tingly feeling deep down in my stomach whenever I looked at my brother's wife. His wife…

How much I detested thinking of her that way; like she belonged to him, when I so desperately wanted her to belong to me.

Yesterday I had barely managed to keep my hands off of her while we were in that damn bar with Jazz. It had only taken my ex a split second to figure out how I felt about Bella. My heartbeat had quickened instantly, almost making me feel dizzy. Silently I prayed that she wouldn't start talking about it, so I babbled about the motorbike, although I knew that she knew I didn't give a shit about things like that. What use was there in a hobby that didn't allow you to wear something pretty during it? Then I used the first opportunity to excuse myself and offered to get us something to drink.

Had she spoken to Bella about me? Probably not, I thought. If she did, Bella would have probably mentioned it on our ride back home. Or would she not? Sometimes it was so difficult to understand what was going on in her head.

A low sigh left my throat before I leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on her warm cheek.

"Ali?" she mumbled and turned around so that she was lying on her back now.

"I'm sorry that I woke you up." I whispered into her ear while my fingertips moved over the soft skin of her neck.

"But I really felt like I needed to see you before I have to leave."

"But you'll come back, won't you?" Somehow there seemed to be fear in her voice and that surprised me. Then I remembered that I had told her that I wanted to run away from the awkward situation between us.

"You don't have to be afraid, Bella. I will always come back to you."

Her hands twisted into my short hair and I wrapped my arms around her neck to pull her closer to me. The tip of my tongue licked over her velvety lower lip before I gently covered her mouth with mine.

A pleasant shiver went through my body as the tip of her tongue nudged against mine. Was it possible to get addicted to kissing someone? Maybe it had to do with the fact that she physically reacted to me in a way no other woman had done it before. She made me feel like I was a sorceress and had the ability to put a spell on her body. How much I wished I could have the same effect on her soul.

"I'll miss you." She whispered and the smile that flashed over her face made my heart skip a beat. It was almost as if it started dancing up happily in my chest. Dancing is always good, I thought. The only thing I feared was that the price for the music might be too much….

**XXXX**

Unlike most other people I really liked the way hospitals smelled. The scent of disinfections was one of my first memories, irrevocably connected with the person of my father. He had always been my biggest supporter and yet he had become my biggest critic now. It hurt me because I craved for his approval more than anything else. It had been easy to tell my new friends in Paris that I didn't mind not talking to him. It had always been easy for me to lie to other people. Maybe this really was something like a hidden family talent? Who knows…?

I inhaled deeply through my nose as I entered his office. Carlisle's eyes were focused on one of his anatomy books. Of course, I knew that he wasn't really reading it right now. He just tried to look occupied in a weak attempt to keep our conversation as short as possible.

"Dad, are you going to talk to me at all or will you just sit there and pretend that I'm not here?"

His lips twitched for a moment before he finally raised his head.

"Paris didn't seem to have a positive effect on your patience, Mary Alice."

"No it didn't…,"

Arrg, it was going to be so awkward if this would go on like this now.

"Your mother is really happy that you are back home." He stated while I sat down on one of the thick leather armchairs on the right side of his office.

"Yeah, I know, dad." You don't have to mention that to me, I added secretly. She doesn't stop telling me that herself over and over again.

Then I cleared my throat before I spoke up.

"I'm here to let you know that I want you to start respecting the choices that I've made for my life."

My voice almost cracked, and I hated myself for being so nervous about this. Somewhere deep in the corner of my mind, in a place where my emotions had no access to, I knew that his opinion shouldn't matter to me. It shouldn't but still it did; Far more than I allowed myself to acknowledge.

He raised one eyebrow, while his lips twisted into a smile that didn't reach his blue eyes. Their light blue colors had been inherited in almost exactly the same shade in my sisters' face while my mother's emerald green had been passed on to my brother. When I was little I had asked my parents where the strange amber tone of mine did come from.

From the pixies, Mary Alice, from the pixies, my mother had whispered and kissed my forehead with trembling lips. Did she cry back then? I couldn't remember.

"If you are talking about your personal preferences for other women…," jeez how I loved the way he always avoided to use the word gay.

"I honestly don't care about that. I won't judge you for loving whoever makes you happy."

Whoever, whoever, whoever….I repeated silently in my head,

What if this whoever I loved happened to be his daughter-in-law? My hands started sweating and the world around me seemed to blur for a moment.

"Mary Alice, are you alright? You look so pale."

He stood up from his chair and kneeled down next to me on the ground. Then he wrapped two fingers around my wrist to check my pulse.

"Dad, that is completely unnecessary. I'm fine." …apart from the fact that I'm falling in love with the wife of my brother of course.

"See the diplomas over there? They're telling you that I'm the one who knows if someone is fine or not."

Physically maybe, but I knew far more about the way someone was feeling inside. I had learned to pay attention to the way people dressed. How their happiness was shown clearly in the amount of work they put in their outfits. How they mourned their pain in dark colors. How they hid their insecurities behind wide layers of clothes…just like Bella did it.

No more hiding…

I cringed slightly when I felt the cool metal of his stethoscope on my skin.

"Dad, I've already told that you I'm okay."

"You're not. Your heart is racing. I should probably page Dr. Bennett to let him do an ECG…"

Please not that again.

"I don't need an ECG. My heart is pretty fine. You can stop worrying."

"No, I can't. See, Mary Alice…that's why I didn't want you to move to Europe. All that stress in the fashion industry is just not good for your condition…,"

I tried to stand up a little too quickly and instantly flopped back when my knees turned into yell-o.

"Yeah, right…because working 36 hour shifts in a hospital is practically comparable to a day off at the beach."

He chuckled slightly. The first time I heard him laugh in a very long time.

"No, it's not. But if something happened to you, there would always be enough people around to help you; Unlike all these freaks that you surround yourself with now. They'd probably offer you crack or whatever drugs they're using. Do you even know what something like that would do to your heart?"

Always the stupid heart; why couldn't he simply drop that topic? The hole in my cardiac septum that I had been born with had closed completely when I grew older.

"For the hundredth time…I won't take drugs. Dad, please stop talking to me as if I were dangerously ill. You know how much I hate that."

Slowly he leaned over and planted a kiss on my forehead.

"I know...but still,"

He sighed deeply before he continued.

"You're such a trustful person…it's far too easy for anyone to take advantage of that."

A shiver went down my spine when the memory of the one that had betrayed my trust flashed through my mind.

_The flames of her red hair falling down her bare back while she was sitting on top of him…the evil grin on his stupid face when I caught them in the same bed where she had told me over and over again that she was mine…mine. God, she never was and never planned to be…_

It doesn't mean that it will be like that this time, I tried to calm myself. Right, it would probably be a lot worse. And this time it would entirely be my own fault, because now I knew it…knew it with every single beat of my heart…that love had the power to break you.

XOXOXOXOXOX

[A/N] I've been told not to ask how the chapter was but I really need to know. Did you like being in Alice's head? Should I do more chapters from her POV or should I keep everything from Bella's?


	13. Chapter 13

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers out there. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my little story here. Your kind words encourage me to continue writing it.

This one is dedicated to **Stand_Through_the_Pain** for telling me that I'm talented. That really made my day and to **Ashfisher92** for her constant mentioning that the permanent sex should Bella help to lose weight. I don't really think that it works that way. Would be far too easy, don't you think?

*Lemon alert again – don't like/don't read. But I guess you wouldn't be here right now if you didn't.*

****Chapter 13****

"Are you okay?" I whispered into her ear as I wrapped my arms around her from behind. Carefully I started stroking up and down her forearm, enjoying the silky touch of her skin on my palms.

"You've been so silent since you returned from the hospital. Carlisle didn't say anything rude to you again, did he?"

She shook her head and the spikey ends of her hair tickled my neck pleasantly.

"No, he didn't…but he said something else that I can't stop thinking about."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked her, instantly pulling her closer towards my body. It was weird how I always wanted to keep her close. Not just in a sexual way although the sex with Ali was nothing but incredible too. Probably the best I've ever had in my entire life. No, not probably…definitely.

"I don't know. It's…well, he said that he wouldn't judge me for whom I love."

"That's a good thing isn't it? That he's so okay with you being…that way."

She sighed deeply.

"The word is gay. You can say it, Bella. There is no need to paraphrase my sexual orientation all the time." She tried to make her voice sound cheerful, but I could hear the slight trembling in it.

I felt her shiver as I planted a kiss on her neck before I interlaced the fingers of my right hand with hers to squeeze them gently.

"That's not everything, I guess. You seem so tensed now." I stated and sat down on the sofa behind me. My arms stayed around her delicate waist, pulling her on my lap.

Slowly she turned around and cupped my face between her hands. I leaned forward and captured her gorgeous mouth with mine. The tip of her tongue nudged against my lower lip before I willingly parted my mouth a little to let her slip in. She moaned into my mouth as my tongue toyed with hers.

Then I tasted something salty on the tip of my tongue and pulled back to realize that she had tears running down her cheeks.

"Hey…,"I mumbled, wiping them away with my thumbs. "Why are you crying?"

"It's nothing."

"You wouldn't be crying because of nothing. I'm pretty sure about that, Ali."

She took a deep breath before she spoke up again.

"Ever since he said that thing about the person I'm going to love; I can't stop thinking about you. I know that it's so wrong, but I just can't stop having all these thoughts about me and you…about us." she almost didn't manage to finish the sentence before another sob escaped her throat.

_About us_

Somehow I really liked the sound of that. The thought of me and her as a unit warmed my heart better than the sun warmed my face on a hot summer day.

"What kind of thoughts?" I asked her while I started rocking her back and forth on my lap to comfort her.

She took my hand in hers and put it to her mouth to plant soft kisses all over my knuckles.

"How much I want there to be an _us_."

"Me too," I confessed, my voice barely a whisper.

"Really?"

I nodded my head. "But what I want scares me so much."

"What exactly do you want?"

"What exactly do you want?" I repeated automatically while I started kissing down her neck.

"That's not fair. You're distracting me again and I've asked you first."

"I want to kiss you." I mumbled against her ruby tinted mouth. The tip of my tongue caressed her velvety lower lip before I sucked it between my teeth to nibble on it.

"I want your face to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning. That doesn't sound like much, but normally I don't want to see anything apart from a cup of coffee," and a chocolate croissant, I added in my head.

"Yeah, I know. You're not really a morning person, Bella."

Her hands moved up and down my forearms in small circles.

"But that's not all that you want, Bella. Isn't it?"

"Oh no; it's not all that I want" Damn it, I didn't even dare to think about the things I might want from her…with her.

She closed her eyes and rested her head against my shoulder. I stroked her back as I felt her starting to tremble in my arms.

"I'm scared to tell you what I want too. I don' think I can."

I buried my face into her hair and inhaled the delicious scent of vanilla and sweet apples.

"Of course you can, Ali. You can tell me everything."

"No, I can't. If I do, I can't take it back…ever."

She took a few deep breaths in order to calm herself. Then she raised her head from my shoulder and wiped her running nose with the back of her hand.

I pulled a tissue out of my pocket and handed it to her.

"You always have one with you when I need one." She croaked out before she took it in her hand.

A smile flashed over her pretty pixie-face, for a split second it even managed to reach her eyes that were now all puffy and red. Still the caramel color of them was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. What had she said about mine? That they were like melted chocolate or something like that? Caramel and chocolate, I thought, what a delicious combination, sweeter than sweet.

"I like having what you need." I whispered, knowing that I really wanted to say something like…

_I like being what you need. _

Tenderly I kissed away the last of the tears. They tasted salty on the tip of my tongue.

"And I'd like to know what you want too. Please, tell me."

She stood up from my lap and walked over to the window at the other side of the living room.

For a long awkward moment she just stood there, like frozen. Then, slowly, almost hesitantly she turned around.

"I want you to choose, Bella. Not just me…I want you to choose us."

For a moment the warm tingly feeling in my stomach increased. At first I didn't really know what caused it. What she had told me, should scare me more than anything, but it didn't. I was glad that she had managed to tell me what she wanted. But what was it that I really wanted? It had been so long that I had taken the time to think about that.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't." she stumbled out when she realized that I didn't respond anything.

"Ali, please. It's not that don't want to be with you. I'm just so scared of the consequences."

She raised her hands in a placatory gesture.

"Yeah, I know that you're not ready for that; that's why I shouldn't have said it. I don't want you to feel pressured. Can we just pretend that I didn't do it?"

I shook my head and stood up. With a few shakily steps I closed the distance between us. I reached my hand out and cupped her face in it.

"You're so much braver than me, Ali."

"I don't really feel brave right now, Bella." She murmured nervously.

My fingers stroked down her cheekbone so gently that I could barely feel her warm skin on my fingertips.

"But you are."

**XXXX**

"May I open my eyes now?" I asked her as she guided me into the bathroom, insisting that I kept them closed. Inside the small room in was very warm and the intoxicating scent of roses mixed up with the sweetness of her skin.

Her lips moved over my face, showering it with dozens of soft, featherlike kisses.

"You may," she whispered while she turned me around to pull me into a tight hug.

Automatically I opened my eyes, expecting to blink into the flashy light above me. It didn't happen; instead I realized that she had placed dozens of tea lights all around the tube. They turned the entire room into a warm orange light. There were rose-petals swimming around the steaming water that had already been filled into the white tube.

"Do you like it?" she wanted to know as she pulled me even closer to her.

I nodded my head, because the thick lump in my throat made it impossible for me to speak for a moment. The thought, that she had made all of his effort just for me, almost managed to make me cry.

"It's not too much, isn't it?" she continued and started rubbing up and down my bare forearms with her fingertips.

"No, it's not, Ali. This is the nicest anyone has ever done for me. You make me feel so special, if you do things like that."

"Bella, you are special." she mumbled against my neck and pulled my shirt over my head. Her fingers unclasped my bra that fell down a few heartbeats later.

The rest of our clothes landed on a small pile on the ground next to it. Then we stepped into the warm water. I realized that she had poured some oil into it. That was where the intoxicating rose scent was coming from.

She was half sitting, half lying in front of me. Her back pressed against my breasts. I cupped hers into my hands and started massaging them gently while my tongue grazed the shell of her ear.

"I really love touching you." I whispered hoarsely.

Slowly she turned around, letting a little bit of water slip over the edge of the tube.

Her mouth found mine and a low moan escaped my throat as the tip of her tongue licked over my upper lip.

"Me too," she mumbled against my lips as her left hand stroked down my collarbone until she reached my cleavage.

"You feel so warm and soft to me."

She lowered her head and swirled her tongue around one of my nipples. It hardened as she carefully started to nibble on it. My hands twisted into the wet curls of her short hair as she started suckling on the tiny nub. Somehow there seemed to be an invisible connection between my breasts and my clit because suddenly I felt slick wetness pouring between my thighs.

Carefully I rolled her nipples between my thumb and my forefinger. It felt wonderful to feel it pebble under my caress. I loved how I could make her body react to my touch. It was like magic to me.

"The water is getting too cold," she whispered as she slowly stood up. My fingertips brushed over the bare skin between her legs and she whimpered slightly.

Then she took my hand in hers and helped me out too.

She lay me down on my back and kissed her way down my stomach, circling her tongue around my belly button. Her gentle hands caressed the inside of my thighs in featherlike movements.

"You're so beautiful, Bella." She murmured before the tip of her tongue flicked over my throbbing clit.

"Ali," I cried out.

"It feels so wonderful to feel your tongue between my legs."

For a moment she raised her head and replaced her tongue with her fingers. Two of them slipped in and out of me really fast, making me moan out in pleasure. I could already feel the tightening in my stomach.

"I love doing that to you. It turns me on so much to lick up every drop of your lust, to feel your little pearl on my tongue…to taste your sweet…,"

I cupped her face between my hands and captured her warm mouth again. Tasting me on her lips was strange. It was sweet and tart and made me curious if she would have a similar taste like that.

"Ali, can I try to…kiss you too?" I asked her barely able to bring out intelligible words. Her cheeks reddened and for a split second she seemed to hesitate.

She kissed her way back my stomach, leaving a wet trail wherever her tongue touched my skin.

Then she climbed on top of me, her face still buried between my slick folds, her fingers holding them open so that she was probably able to see everything of me now, really everything. A shiver went down my spine as I opened my eyes to look at the moist covered labia just a few inches away from my face.

I had never looked at another women so intimately before. Damn it, I had never even dared to look at myself in a mirror or anything. Somehow I had expected it to look ugly but now I realized that it was very far from that. Ali looked like a strange, but very beautiful flower that had glittering morning dew running down her petals. Slowly I licked all the way up from her entrance to the tiny pearl of her clit with the tip of my tongue. God, she was so delicious, like honey in a way but way more tart…she tasted like her and nothing else. The way her entire body started to tremble each time my tongue flicked over her clit encouraged me to continue licking.

She inserted another finger inside of me, curling them upwards in order to reach the spot in me that felt better than anything else. My inner walls started tightening around her fingers.

I mimicked her movements. Gently I slipped two fingers inside of her and curled them up like she was doing it to me.

Her moans against my clit were barely audible but the fresh wetness that I tasted on my tongue was enough proof to me that I was doing it right.

And then finally I stopped thinking completely. Instead I concentrated only on what I was feeling now. Her velvety tongue circling my clit, my fingers inside of her, the tip of my tongue nudging against her tiny pearl, teasing it while her tight walls stretched around my fingers inside her…

My entire body went ridged for a moment before the force of my climax made it tremble slightly. Her inner walls clenched and unclenched around my fingers inside her, just a split second later. Or was it in the same heartbeat?

Slowly she moved down from me and I cuddled her against my bare chest. Gently planting kisses on her damp hair. For a very long time none of us spoke a single word. I closed my eyes while she stroked up and down my neck in small circles.

"We can't stay in here forever," she mumbled after a while.

I nodded my head, secretly thinking about how much I wished that we could.

**XXXX**

_The icy air felt cold on my face as I walked towards the tall figure that was standing at the edge of the huge cliff. The wind swirled up my hair and I quickly twisted it into a bum at the end of my neck. _

_A low chuckle left his throat before he slowly turned around. His face was handsome as always, the green of his eyes like emeralds but the evil grin that flashed over his lips send a wave of fear down my spine. _

"_You can't be serious about that, can you?"_

_I shook my head. "I am sure about it. We can't go on like this, Edward. Our marriage isn't working."_

_He reached out his hand in order to cup my face in it but I instantly stepped back._

"_I'm leaving you."_

"_Are you kidding me? You'll never be brave enough to divorce me, Bella, never. I know that you know that you're nothing without me. Do you hear me? You are nothing!"_

_Then the expression on his face softened, his lips turned upwards into that damn crooked smile that I had once loved more than anything about him._

_I lifted my left hand and pointed to the bare skin on my ring finger._

_He grinned sheepishly and pulled the familiar diamond covered gold ring out of his pocket._

"_You lost something, didn't you?" he whispered and closed the small distance between us in a swift movement._

"_Let me give it back to you, Bella. You'll feel better if you have something that reminds you to whom you belong to."_

"_No, I won't."_

"_Oh come on. Don't be like that." He grabbed me by my shoulders and started shaking me so hard that the grip of his hands was starting to feel painful._

"_Let me go, Edward!"_

_I reached out my hands to get him away from me. At first he didn't move at all. Then I pushed again and he stumbled backwards. His feet didn't find hold on the rock. I stopped breathing as his face turned smaller and smaller until it finally vanished completely in the grey waves underneath us. He didn't surface again…_

"Bella, please wake up!" she whispered into my ear and a heartbeat later my eyes fell open. I gasped for air as she rocked my quivering body back and forth in her tight embrace. Tears started falling down my face.

"Oh, Ali, that was so frightening."

"It was just a nightmare. Nobody is going to hurt you here, Bella. You are safe with me."

I wiped my forehead and realized that it was covered in cold sweat.

"Ali, what time is it now?"

"About half past seven. You can still sleep a little bit, if you want to. I know that you're tired."

Quickly I shook my head and sat up in the bed.

"Can you give me my cell, please?"

"Whom do you want to call now? It's way too early, Bella."

I shook my head and took a deep breath before I spoke up again.

"The airport,"

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] I can't believe it, but the time has come. We are going to meet Cheat-ward for the very first time in the next chapter. Should Bella go to Alaska alone or should she take Ali with her? Let me know.


	14. Chapter 14

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hi to all my lovely readers out there. Thanks so much for all your encouraging words. It really means a lot to me, that some of you enjoy reading my story.

This one is dedicated to **Villemo79** for telling me that she liked the way I'm expressing Bella and Ali's feelings for each other and to **Silvi86** for capturing one of the key-point of the story so perfectly. Yes, beauty it's not just about the way someone looks from the outside…

****Chapter 14****

"Are you sure that you're ready to do this?" Ali asked me anxiously as she parked the rental car in front of the huge grey office building.

"Yes, I am sure." I told her, trying to suppress the slight trembling in my voice. I was so not sure, if it was right what I was about to do. All I knew was that it seemed impossible for me to go on like this any longer. It was wrong to continue my relationship with Ali as long as I was still married to her brother. This made her the other woman and that was not what she deserved. God, I was never going to be what she deserved, but still she always made me feel like she wanted me more than anything. It was like a miracle and sometimes when I closed my eyes I feared, that she was probably just a product of my imagination. Any minute I would wake up alone in my loveless bed at home and realize that the last few days that had managed to change my life never really happened.

The memory of the weird nightmare I had had last night sent a shiver of fear down my spine. I had literally killed my husband. What did this say about me?

"Mommy, can we go and see daddy now?" Lilly asked me from the backseat.

I didn't want to take her with me. Things between me and her father were probably going to get ugly; at least I feared so.

Ali had instantly agreed to come with me to Alaska. Of course there was no way I could have her with me when I was going to have _that_ conversation with my soon-to-be ex-husband. It would still be comforting just to know that she was here with me. That I could go to her afterwards and wrap my arms around her if I felt like crying.

Esme was thrilled when I told her that I wanted to spontaneously visit Edward in Alaska, but when I mentioned that Ali would come with me, she didn't understand it. So I made up a weak excuse that she had agreed to babysit Lilly for me while I would spend some alone-time with her coward of a son.

"Aren't you tired, honey? You didn't sleep on the plane."

"No, I'm not." My stubborn four-year-old insisted while she could hardly manage to keep her eyes open.

We walked into the building, and I fought the irresistible urge to take Ali's hand in mine. This was something that I needed to do alone; needed to do for me, although it would probably hurt me and the other people that I cared about.

In the elevator Ali stood behind me and for a split second I felt her dainty hands on my shoulder. I turned around and her caramel eyes met mine. We didn't speak, but it was obvious that she was giving me another chance to change my mind. To leave before it was too late.

I could smell Tanya's disgustingly cheap perfume, although I couldn't see her anywhere, and wrinkled my nose in disgust. Where the hell was the bitch? Shouldn't a secretary be at her desk in case someone came that wanted to see her boss? I heard some laughter coming out of the other room and walked over to the closed door. Should I knock? I asked myself but then I decided that it was unnecessary. Edward would be so thrilled to see his daughter, even if he was in a meeting right now. We could have that _talk_ later in the hotel.

So I opened the door and in the same moment I wished that someone would pour acid over my brain to destroy the pictures that would probably stay there now forever.

My so-called husband was sitting on his leather office chair while his so-called secretary was on top of him, mimicking one of those cowboys during their 8 seconds rides on wild bulls. Now and then low moans left his throat while her strawberry-head moved up and down on his lap.

Our poor little daughter buried her tiny face against my legs, because the noises that escaped her father's mouth scared her. I desperately hoped that she was still so young that she wouldn't be able to understand what was going on here. I didn't have the nerves to deal with her questions about that now…or any time later.

What if this would leave some permanent long-term damages? God, I wished I hadn't taken her here with me.

Edward had his eyes closed and from the stupid, concentrated look on his face I could tell that he was close…really close. Too bad I had come to ruin all his fun now.

I took a deep breath before I spoke up.

"So this is what you call working?"

His eyes fell open in horror.

"Bella? Crap…what the hell are you doing here?" he croaked out while he desperately tried to shove Tanya's skinny ass off of him. She seemed too shocked to move one single inch.

Ali put one of her hands on my forearm. Maybe it was to comfort me. Maybe it was an attempt to hold me back from throwing something hard against Tanya's head. Whatever it was it was working.

"What the hell are you doing here with her?" My words were harsh, but to my astonishment I wasn't really angry at him. Maybe I was too shocked, hurt and confused. The blood in my veins stayed cold like ice. I realized that I didn't love him anymore. Not a tiny bit, not at all. If I still cared for him it wouldn't be that way, I was sure about that.

"Daddy, is the evil witch hurting you?" Lilly asked him anxiously when she finally dared to raise her head again.

"Damn it, Bella, get the child out of here!"

I took a deep breath and tried to make my voice sound cheerful in order to make my child think that everything was alright; like we hadn't just caught her father fucking the shit out of his bitch of a secretary.

"Lilly, why don't you and your aunt get us something to drink from the cafeteria?"

"But mommy…she's hurting him!"

Edward cleared his throat nervously.

"Get her out here…now!"

Instantly she started crying. He had never raised his voice in her presence before, and I wanted to rip a wisp of his copper hair out for frightening her like that.

"Stop yelling like that, Edward. You're scaring the poor child." Ali mumbled.

"Mary Alice, for heaven's sake, can't you make yourself useful and get the kid out of this room!"

"Auntie Ali, is Daddy angry because we came to surprise him?" Lilly croaked out while she wiped her running nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

"Yeah, honey. Probably a little bit. Your Daddy never really liked surprises…" Ali told her as she lifted her up to carry her out of the room.

"Won't you tell your wife to leave too so that we can get dressed again?" Tanya snarled at him.

"Bella…,"

"Okay, okay…I'll give the two of you some privacy for a minute too." I told him filled with bitterness. Then I closed the door behind me and sighed deeply.

"Mommy is Daddy sick?" Yeah, in the head, I thought secretly.

"No, he isn't. Please, honey…just go with your aunt Ali now. Mommy needs to talk to Daddy." And probably kick him where it really hurts.

"Bella, are you sure, that you can handle this on your own?"

I nodded my head.

"Can you take care of Lilly until we're ready here?"

"Of course, I can. Come with me Lilly. We're going to see if we'll find some chocolate ice-cream in the cafeteria for us."

She pulled out her cell and waved with it.

"If you need me, just text me or call…I'll be right back here."

Tanya stumbled out of the office. Her hair was still a mess and her blouse wasn't buttoned up correctly. Her pink lipstick was smeared all over her chin, and I didn't want to know where else it had probably left a mark. The thought was too disgusting.

"Evil witch!" Lilly snarled at her while her eyes narrowed angrily.

Usually I wouldn't allow her to speak to adults in such a way, but right now I didn't feel like telling her to stop. After all, the child was right. Tanya Denali was evil, just evil.

"Just so you know, this is completely your own fault…_Mrs. Cullen_…," the way she said my name made me want to punch her straight in the face. Not with too much force of course, skinny people were huffy.

"Just look at you. You're what…about 160 pounds or something like that? No wonder your husband prefers playing with a woman whose body doesn't consist of mainly fat and nothing else."

"Watch your mouth, girl." Ali warned her.

"Just one more wrong word from your mouth, and I make sure you're going to need a really good dentist. I don't know if your insurance covers stuff like that, so you'd better leave now."

Tanya snorted and rushed out of the office.

**XXXX**

When I entered his office again he was standing at the opened window. His copper hair was still tousled and the expression on his face was…tortured somehow.

"Look Bella, I'm really sorry about that. Can we just pretend that it didn't happen?"

"You're kidding me, aren't you? I just caught you fucking that whore, who you dare to call your secretary, and you expect me to do as if nothing happened."

He moved closer to me and his lips twitched into the forced attempt of a crooked smile.

"Oh Bella, love…,"

He wasn't really trying to lull me now, was he? It wouldn't work this time.

"It didn't mean anything, love. That was just…well physical."

"Hmm, I know Edward. It didn't look as if the two of you were having a moment of spiritual connection."

"Bella, don't be like that. What do you want me to do now? I'll fire Tanya if you want me to. Just stop being so sarcastically."

He raised his hand and tried to cup my face in it but I took two steps backwards.

"Where is Lilly now?"

"She's in the cafeteria with Ali. If the poor child will need therapy because of what she saw in here you'll pay for it."

"You could have called beforehand to let me know you were coming to visit me here with her."

"And what would that have changed?" I asked him, trying to make my voice sound calm. I didn't want to let show how much he had hurt me.

"Bella, please, it didn't mean anything. It was nothing. Do you hear me…nothing, just sex."

"I hope this _nothing_ didn't give you Chlamydia or some other crap, although you'd deserved that."

He chuckled slightly and waved with the empty Trojan foil in his hand before he threw it in the trash under his desk.

"Nice to see, that you at least think about your own health when you fuck your whore."

"Don't talk like that, Bella. It was the first time…,"

"Yeah of course and it was her first time at all, wasn't it? She was still a virgin when you hired her. Damn it, Edward. Stop lying at me. I'm fat but not blind."

"Bella, you don't know what it's like when someone keeps hitting on you all the time."

"What kind of excuse is that?"

"It's not an excuse. I just want you to understand my side."

"I don't feel like that's necessary, Edward."

"Love, please, it won't happen again. I promise."

I shook my head and inhaled deeply through my mouth before I spoke up again.

"I'm leaving you."

"Bella, you're just angry right now. Try to calm down a little bit and we'll talk about it later."

"No! We're going to talk about it now."

"Fine, if that's what you want."

"Yes it is what I want. Our marriage isn't working and you know that."

"But you're not divorcing me, are you?" Suddenly there was fear in his voice, real fear.

"We can't go on like that, Edward. You don't love me, and I hate the way you keep looking at me. You make me feel so ugly."

"Oh come on Bella, it's not like it's my fault that you're too lazy to lose weight. And just for the record: you weren't that keen on sleeping with me in the last months."

"Edward, can't you see? This is not just about sex and it's not about what happened between you and Tanya in here today."

"You can't divorce me, it's impossible. Have you forgotten that we made a marriage contract that says I won't have to pay any money for you in case you'll leave me?"

"I don't care about the money. Don't you know me at all?"

"Yes, I do, although you seem different somehow. Did you meet someone else?" He sounded jealous now and that surprised me.

Quickly I shook my head. I felt bad for denying what was between me and his younger sister but I was afraid that he would hurt her if he found out about it.

"Fine, Bella." He stated after a few awkward moments of silence.

"If a divorce is what you want…you'll get it. As long as I get full custody for Lilly, you can have whatever you want."

"You're not really planning on taking my only child away from me?" My voice almost cracked at the end. How could he dare to threaten me like that? I wanted to run my fingernails down his perfectly shaved chin. Maybe seeing blood on his skin would make me feel better….

"She's my only child too." He stated and looked at the silver framed picture of Lilly on his desk.

"Lilly is our child. Not mine or yours, she's _ours_."

"Bella, have you forgotten everything about your own childhood? Do you really want that for Lilly too?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. It was so unfair that he was bringing this up now. He knew how much I wanted my daughter to have a proper family. How much I wanted her to be happy. He knew it and he brought the whole thing up because he knew that I would never make a decision that would hurt Lilly. But how could I go on like this? Go on to pretend that there was somehow still love and affection behind the pretty façade of our marriage. It was impossible. Not now that I knew how it felt like to be really cared for….

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] Thanks for reading. I really want to know what you think about Cheat-ward, so please let me know.


	15. Chapter 15

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers out there. I hope you're happy that I finally updated. Real life is such a bitch right now, but your feedback motivated me to continue writing. I freaking loved all your "welcome" reactions to Cheat-wards appearance in the last chapter.

This one is dedicated to **Nik2010** for her useful suggestions about what tools might help to deal with Edward and to **Just twisty** for her feedback about the way I portray Cheat-wards character.

*Please, please, please…read the entire chapter, will you? See you at the bottom. **

****Chapter 15****

_Ali's POV_

I kept on stirring the ice cream in the bowl in front of me, watching it melt into a light brownish liquid.

My eyes fell on the huge clock on the other side of the wall. How much time had passed since I had left Bella alone in the office to speak to my brother; an hour or maybe longer? No matter how long it might be, it definitely felt too long to me, but patience had never been one of my strengths.

I pulled my cell out of my handbag again to make sure that she hadn't texted me in the last three minutes. How this waiting managed to turn me into a nervous wreck, it was embarrassing.

What if he would convince her to stay with him? Edward was used to wheedle people into doing exactly what he wanted them to do. It was something that was part of his job as a lawyer.

Maybe I should have stayed with Bella, I thought while I licked of a drop of the melted ice cream from the little plastic spoon in my hands.

Damn it, Ali…how could you have been so stupid to let her be alone with him?

"Auntie Ali?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"Don't you like your ice-cream?"

"I'm just not really hungry right now, Lilly." And far too nervous to eat, I added in my head.

"Auntie Ali…is my Daddy still angry at us because we came to surprise him?" she asked me worriedly.

I inhaled deeply through my nose in order to calm myself down enough to make my voice sound cheerful and light.

"You don't have to worry about that, sweetie. He's happy that you're here to visit him. Like I said before...he just doesn't like surprises that much."

I wondered how much he would like the surprise that his wife was planning on divorcing off his cheating ass; if she was still planning on doing it. God, this waiting was making me almost insane. I tried to remember myself that even if she would leave her husband it wouldn't necessary mean that she would want to be with me instead.

I sighed deeply, thinking about how much I wanted her to be with me…to really _be_ with me.

She was still scared of leaving him, no matter how unhappy and loveless her marriage might be. What was the point in staying married if you didn't love the other person?

I had seen the expression on Bella's face when we caught him with his whore. There had been pain in her eyes, disgust, even humiliation and fear…but not the slightest hint of love…in which form ever. But what if love wasn't the reason why she had chosen to stay with him for so long?

What if what she felt for me…whatever she did feel for me, wouldn't be enough? My heartbeat quickened and I felt my palms starting to sweat. Quickly I wiped them on my jeans, using the opportunity to check my cell again.

"Auntie Ali, can we go back to mommy and daddy now?"

I nodded my head and stood up from the plastic chair that made a squeaking noise underneath me.

Lilly's tiny mouth turned into a crooked smile that made her look like a reduced version of my brother. Only her eyes were exactly the same shade of milk-chocolate like Bella's. Their daughter was a visibly proof of their relationship; the love between two people that had been turned and melted into another human being. For a moment there was an unpleasant feeling deep down in my stomach, and I wondered what was causing it. Then I realized that I envied my brother. Envied him, because there would never, could never be a little bit of me and her combined in someone else's face…

**XXXX**

I took a deep breath through my nose before I knocked on the wooden door of Edward's office. He mumbled something that was too low to understand it completely.

Slowly I opened the door, not really knowing what was expecting me behind it.

Bella looked white as a ghost while my brother kept talking to her in this annoyingly smart-ass-way that they had told him in law school. Her eyes met mine for a split second, and I could see the tears that were already glittering in the corners of them.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Lilly whispered and climbed on her lap.

A low sob escaped Bella's throat as she wrapped her arms around her daughter's neck.

"He can't take you away from me…he can't take you away from me…he can't…," she stumbled out, while her voice reached a hysterical high frequency.

My brother rolled his eyes at that, and I fought the urge to throw the heavy paperweight from his desk against his head.

"What did you do to her?" I asked him, trying to make my voice sound calm. It didn't really work, and I cursed myself for the slight trembling in it.

"Mary Alice, whatever is going on between me and my wife is none of your damn business!"

My wife, my wife, my wife…how much I hated it to let him call her that, like she still belonged to him no matter what had happened.

_Fucking hypocrite_

"I'm sorry, Edward…but Bella is my business. She's my frie…nd," I nearly choked at the word. "And I don't like the way you're treating her."

"What part of 'it's none of your business' was too complicated for you to understand it?"

I grabbed the paperweight and threw it against the Monet replica that was hanging on the other side of the wall. The silver framed drawing landed on the ground with a big hole in the middle of the water lilies.

"Mary Alice, watch your temper! I don't have the nerves to deal with your post-pubertal issues."

"Fuck you!"

Lilly raised her little head from her mother's chest. I hoped that she wouldn't ask someone about the meaning of that word again. Esme was still concerned about the 'dyke-question'.

My copper-haired brother cleared his throat before he spoke up again.

"We're discussing the consequences of Bella's stupid decision to get a divorce."

"How can you call it a stupid decision? Edward, we just caught you fucking your secretary. What did you expect from Bella, that she would just ignore it or something like that?"

"No…of course not, but…" he started hesitantly.

"But what?"

"She's overreacting."

"I don't think so."

"Damn it, Mary Alice, stop sticking your little snub nose into things that have nothing to do with you at all!"

I bit my tongue to keep myself from telling him something that I would probably regret later. It has nothing to do with me? If only he knew how much I _had_ to do with it…

"Stop yelling at her, Edward. It's not Ali's fault." Bella stumbled out while she wiped her running nose on the sleeves of her shirt.

"Daddy, are you still angry?"

He inhaled sharply through his teeth and kneeled down in front of Bella and Lilly. Slowly he reached out his hand to put a wisp of her copper hair that equaled his own so much, behind her ear. She shrugged back and he sighed deeply.

"Yes, honey, I am…bu-t not at you."

"I don't like it when you're angry. You yell like Uncle Emmett but Mommy doesn't yell back like Auntie Rosie does it."

"Yeah, I know, sweetie. Can you wait outside for a few minutes while I talk to your mommy?"

"No, I don't want to. What if the evil witch comes back?"

"Evil witch? Lilly there are no witches."

"She's talking about your whore. In case you haven't noticed it yet…Lilly is scared of her."

"Damn it, Mary Alice. Stop using words like that in her presence. She's going to parrot them without even knowing their meaning."

Then he turned to his daughter again.

"Tanya won't come back, sweetie. Why don't you draw a picture for daddy? I need a new one to put it on my wall because your aunt destroyed the other."

He should better be happy that I didn't destroy his face…

Slowly Lilly stood up from her mother's lap and walked out of the room. Bella's eyes followed her worriedly. She looked so vulnerable right now that I couldn't help but wrap my arm around her shoulder. Carefully I stroked down her beautiful hair with my fingertips.

"Please, don't do this to me, Edward." She whispered so low that I could barely understand her.

"What is she talking about?"

He started biting his fingernails nervously, desperately avoiding eye contact with me.

"I told her that if she's stupid enough to get a divorce, I'm trying to get full custody for Lilly."

He was joking, wasn't he? There was no way he could be serious about that.

"You're kidding, aren't you? Edward, you're working what…sixty to seventy hours a week. You have trouble making it home for Lilly's birthday. How are you planning on taking care for her when you're never around?"

"It'll work out somehow. Mom or Rose could watch her while I'm working and when the summer is over she'll be at school most of the day anyway."

"Why don't you want Lilly to live with her mother?"

"Because…well…because…she's instable."

"Bella is not instable." I stated, emphasizing each word.

"For heaven's sake, Mary Alice, you have known her for how long? Just a few days, I assume."

Just a few days, that might have irrevocably changed my life.

"I'm pretty sure that I already know her better than you do."

"That's just ridiculous. Bella and I have been married for over five years now."

"You may have known her longer maybe, but better? I highly doubt that, but who really knows someone else?"

"Stop throwing that psycho-crap at me that your ex-girlfriend told you about!"

"I will, if you stop yelling all the time. It's really annoying and it scares Lilly and Bella."

He took a deep breath again and sat down on his chair.

"If you really were a friend of Bella, you'd help her see sense." He stated after a few awkward moments of silence.

I felt her stiffen next to me. She hadn't told him anything about the…well, intensity of our _friendship_, had she?

"Edward, I don't tell her what to do or not to do. She's a grown-up woman who can make her own choices."

Bella sniffed again, and I pulled a tissue out of my handbag.

"Blow,"

A noise that was probably meant to be a chuckle left her throat.

"I still don't think she's serious about the divorce. She's just angry because of the little incident with Tanya."

"_She_ is here right now and can he hear you perfectly, Edward." Bella snarled at him angrily.

His lips twitched into a crooked smile that didn't reach his emerald eyes.

"Yeah, I know, love." Slowly he reached out his hand in order to cup her face in it. She stopped breathing but didn't move one single inch. His thumb brushed over her cheek, wiping away the trail of black mascara her tears had left.

"We'll figure this out, love. Everything will be okay."

Red-hot anger rushed through my entire body, and I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans so that he wouldn't notice the tremble in them. That he still dared to touch her after all this crap, after threatening to take her child away from her. Damn it, I wanted to rip his hand of and stuff it down his mendacious throat.

He continued talking to her in a smooth voice, obviously trying to dazzle her with halfheartedly suggestions about family therapy and other bullshit. Bella never spoke a single word but now and then her lips twitched for a split second.

She wouldn't believe him, would she? It didn't matter if she would, as long as she wanted to believe that his words were true. He was an excellent dazzler and knew exactly how to use her weaknesses for his own advantage.

"Don't you want Lilly to be happy?"

Bella nodded her head. Maybe she was going into shock right now. Damn it, why couldn't I remember anything about what to do. Should I shake her?

He leaned closer to her and cupped her face between both hands. His lips planted a soft kiss on her full upper lip while his fingertips stroked down her jawline.

It was too much, just too much for me to endure. That she would let him kiss her like that…

Out…you need to get out of here before you do something that you'll probably regret later. My knees felt like yell-o as I stood up again and I swallowed hard to hold back the tears from falling. How should I explain them to him? I had no right to be sad if he figured things out with her. As his sister I should be happy about it but right now the part of me that was his sister was overshadowed by the part of me that wanted to be her lover.

"Excuse me, I need some fresh air." I croaked out, desperately trying to make my voice sound cheerful. It didn't work at all.

I stumbled out of the office, sharp pain cramping all around my heart.

"Auntie Ali, why are you crying?" Lilly asked me and looked up from the piece of paper in her hand.

"Nothing, honey…it's nothing."

"Did Daddy yell at you?"

I shook my head and wiped my nose on the back of my hand.

"I have to go now, sweetie. Promise me to take care of your mommy, will you?"

XXXX

Somehow I managed to make it out of the building and back to the rental car. My hands were trembling so strong that I had trouble turning the key. Finally the door opened, and I sat down and put my face in my hands. Now, that I was finally alone I allowed myself to break down completely, loud sobs left my throat, making me sound more like an animal in pain then a human being. How could I let myself get hurt like that again? Maybe I had a hidden masochistic side in me. Maybe I was just stupid and naïve. What the hell did I expect from her?

Then I felt a warm hand stroking over my hair. I raised my head and blinked into Bella's concerned face.

"Ali?"

"Go away, please. I don't want you to see me like this. Don't you have stuff to discuss with your husband?"

"I can talk with him later, if I want to. Right now, I want to talk with you, Ali."

"What else is there left to talk about, Bella?"

"Why did you run away?"

"Damn it, Bella. You let him dazzle you with all his crap and then you let him kiss you in front of me. Kiss you, like nothing had happened before!"

"Firstly, I didn't let him dazzle me. I was just so confused because he started talking so sweet to me suddenly. I think that he did that because he wasn't so sure that the 'full custody idea' he had earlier was a clever move from his side. And secondly…I didn't ask him to kiss me."

"But you didn't do anything when he did it!"

"Ali, what the hell should I have done? Like I told you…I was irritated…,"

She sighed deeply, before she continued.

"You are not seriously jealous of Edward right now?"

"Of course I am jealous and I'm scared…terribly scared."

She wrapped her arms around me and I sobbed against her shoulder. Desperately I tried to inhale as much of her strawberry freesia scent as possible.

"You don't have to be afraid." Her voice was barely a whisper.

Slowly I raised my head again while her hands stroked up and down my back in small circles.

"I'm really sorry that you're so upset right now."

"He kissed your mouth. He fucking kissed your mouth! I wanted to rip his face of...,"

"Ali, please…,"

"I know... I know…I'm overreacting. I have no right to feel this way. We're not even together…I mean like really together…,"

"Ali, I don't want you to apologize for the way you feel…ever."

She cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"Do you want to know how I felt when he kissed me?"

"Do I want to?" I croaked out hoarsely, it was difficult for me to bring out words now.

The sharp pain in my heart increased, making me feel dizzy. I took a few deep breaths, hoping it would help me somehow. It wasn't like I wanted to make an embarrassing trip to the ER here in Anchorage. How ironical, I thought, that my silly heart was emotionally as weak and vulnerable as physically. Was it easier to break a weak heart?

"Ali, are you okay? You're so pale and your hands are trembling..."

"Hmm, I'm just a little dizzy…it will soon be over." Or it wouldn't, who cared?

"Like my marriage." She mumbled nervously.

"You're really going to divorce my brother?"

"Yes I am. I told him before I left. And just for the record…when he kissed me, I felt nothing…nothing at all."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N]Jeez, I felt so bad when I wrote the part where Cheat-ward kissed Bella. I made myself cry…what does that say about me?

Originally I planned on ending this here with the worst cliffy ever (right after Ali's runs out of the office) because you all know that I'm a review-whore and cliffys usually motivate people to leave a comment, but then I simply couldn't bring myself to do it…I'm obviously too good-hearted.


	16. Chapter 16

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hi my lovely readers. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my little story. I'm so happy that there actually people out there who enjoy what comes out of my crazy little mind.

This chapter is dedicated to **Antonia23** for being my 300th reviewer and to **crossroads-x3 **for telling me that she thinks I'm good at expressing emotions. That totally made my day.

****Chapter 16****

"How did you like it in Alaska, Lilly?" Emmett asked her while he tried to keep the gigantic russet colored dog from feeding the prizewinning hydrangeas in Esme's front garden.

"Alaska sucks, Uncle Emmett." She stated and started stroking Fido's head with her fingertips. Then she leaned over and whispered something into the dogs' ear.

"Honey, I don't want you to say 'it sucks'." I mumbled halfheartedly and sat down on the grass next to her and Ali.

Somehow I felt like a hypocrite for it. Yeah, she was so damn right. Alaska had sucked badly. And now that we were back in Seattle it wouldn't necessary mean things would be easier from now on.

A shiver of fear went down my spine and my palms started sweating slightly as I thought about Ali's awful break down in the parking lot. She had refused to talk to her brother at all again, insisting that she wouldn't be able to control herself around him anymore. She told him that she was sick and I wondered what he would do if he figured out the reason behind her sudden outburst.

"Why did it suck, sweetie? Weren't you happy to see your daddy again?"

"Oh Uncle Emmett, he was so angry because we came to surprise him. And the evil witch hurt him and mommy and Auntie Ali cried and…,"

Emmett raised one eyebrow and gave me a confused look.

"What is she talking about?"

I sighed deeply and rubbed my chin.

"Do you want to hear the long or the short version?" Ali asked him, trying to make her voice sound light and cheerful.

"I assume the long one is way more interesting." He murmured while an evil smile flashed over his face.

I rolled my eyes at that and cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Alright, we'll give you the baby-free version of it because it's you. Ali and I caught my so-called husband fucking his secretary in his office."

"Hot. Dirty office sex is the best." He stated and chuckled slightly.

"You're such a perv, McCarthy."

"What…I'm just saying it like it is…although I can understand that it wasn't really too funny for you, Bella."

"You are right about that. I just hope Edward isn't too proud that our four-year-old daughter ran into them."

"Lilly was there too?" his voice sounded less cheerful now and I was glad that he was stopping to see everything as a big joke.

"Yep, she was. I really hope that the child will simply forget about it. She didn't understand what they were doing and thought that Tanya was hurting him."

"Hmm, I see. You don't seem very shocked yourself, Bella. Is that because you're far more interested in your sister-in-law now?"

My cheeks reddened instantly and I tried to hide it behind my long chestnut hair.

"No, it's not because of Ali…well at least I think so." Then I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"I went to Alaska to tell Edward that I want to leave him. Isn't that funny? I have to fly to another state just to tell my husband that I want a divorce."

"Are you sure about that, Bella? You know how our in-laws think about that…,"

"How do we think about what?" Carlisle asked as he and his copper-colored wife appeared on the terrace.

I sighed deeply and rubbed my forehead with my fingertips. The throbbing pain in my head increased while I desperately tried to figure out how to break the wonderful news to them. My coward of a –soon-to-be ex-husband had insisted that I would tell his parents, because I was the one who wanted the divorce. He was obviously trying to make me look like the bad one in this thing, fucking loser.

I should have let Charlie shoot him when he offered it…

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"Is everything okay? Edward called and said that you wanted to tell us about something."

Think, Bella…think quickly of a good way to tell them. Geez, the last time I had been so nervous about a conversation with my parents-in-law was when we told them that I was pregnant with Lilly. This here would probably end up with Esme crying too…

Ali turned to Emmett and I was glad that she had figured out a way to get Lilly out of here.

"Didn't you tell me that you want to take the dog out for a walk into the park?"

He hesitated for a moment. This was going to be ugly and he didn't want to miss the show. The good thing was that he had a soft spot for his niece and wanted to keep her out of trouble.

"Yeah, you're right about that. Lilly do you want to come with me?"

**XXXX**

"I don't understand why you don't want to try some family therapy first before you consider a divorce." Carlisle stated and emptied the glass of water in front of him. Esme had tear glittering in her green eyes and I hated the fact that this was hurting her so much.

Ali stiffened next to me and I squeezed her hand under the table to ensure her that everything would be okay and I wouldn't be running back to my husband…no matter what would happen.

"Look, I know how you and Esme think about divorce and you can be sure that I've thought about the other options. The point is that I don't want to be miserable anymore."

"Bella, a marriage isn't only about love and rainbows and stuff like that. A marriage is much more like a hard job actually."

What a great thing to compare a relationship to something that paid your rent. I wondered how Esme had survived about thirty-five years at the side of this true romantic.

Emmett entered the room with a confused expression on his face. Lilly followed him, her tiny hands wrapped carefully around Fido's leather leash.

"Down!" she instructed and the calf-sized dog followed her command. Her mouth twisted into a crooked smile.

"See, Uncle Emmett…he finally did it!"

"Yeah, I know, sweetie…but he still can't go home with you tonight. Your aunt Rosie would miss him too much."

"But I…but I…I...I… I need him." She whined and climbed on my lap, hiding her face against my neck. Tears started pouring down her cheeks and I started rubbing her back comfortingly.

"Lilly honey, why are you crying?" Esme asked her and she slowly raised her head from my shoulder.

"Because Uncle Emmett doesn't want to give Fido to me; and I really need him to protect me from the evil witch."

"Sweetie, she won't come here. You don't have to worry about that."

Carlisle's eyes narrowed for a moment.

"Stop encouraging her when she throws a tantrum like this. She needs to learn the difference between fantasy and reality."

Reality? You mean the kind of reality where her father fucked his strawberry-haired secretary in front of her or maybe the kind of reality where her mothers can't stop thinking about kissing her aunt?

"All this talking about divorce and separation is probably too much for a little girl like Lilly. It's no wonder that she's already starting to make up things…," Esme assumed and started biting her fingernails nervously.

"She's right, Bella. If you were a responsible mother, you would put her interests before your own."

Damn it, I thought. Never mess with a sugar-addict who didn't have any chocolate for almost three days now. And no one tells me that I'm a bad mother…no one. My hands started quivering as I stood up from the chair, my arms still wrapped around my daughter.

I almost stumbled as I searched for the damn wedding band in my handbag. Finally my fist closed around it and I pulled it out and threw it on the table.

"Bella, stop being so theatrical…"

"She's not theatrical, mom. You can't tell me that you wouldn't want her to give back Grandma Elizabeth's engagement ring if she doesn't want to stay married to Edward."

"Mary Alice, this is none of your business."

"Of course, it's my business, mom. Bella is my…well I care about her and I can see that she's not happy in her marriage."

"Mary Alice, please. Your longest relationships has been how long…ten months maybe? You don't know a thing about the way long-term relationships work."

**XXXX**

"She's sleeping now…finally." Ali whispered and wrapped her arms around me from behind. Her lips moved down my neck and I felt a pleasant tingling in my stomach as her tongue nudged against the sensitive skin right beneath my earlobe.

"I love it, when you touch me like this." I mumbled while her arms stroked up and down my hips.

She sighed and turned me around so that she could plant a soft kiss on the tip of my nose.

"Yeah, I know that you like it, Bella"

"You don't look too happy about that, Ali." I stated and took her hand in mine to squeeze it gently. Then I put it to my mouth and planted several kisses on each of her knuckles.

"It's not that I don't like it how you physically react to me…it's just…," she stopped mid-sentence and walked over to the window at the other side of the living room.

"It's just what?" I asked her, hugging her tightly from behind. The spikey ends of her hair tickled my cheek as she leaned her head back against my shoulder.

She didn't speak for a very long time and I wondered what she was thinking about now.

"It's not enough for me Bella. I want more for us."

"More?" Warmth spread through my entire body and for a split second I wondered what was causing it. Then I realized that it was joy. Joy, because despite of all the obstacles she still wanted to be with me. I couldn't believe that this wonderful, amazing person cared for me…

"Yes, I want more for us, Bella."

Us….more for us…how I loved the sound of these words…

How I'd love to hear more of the bell-like sound that was her laughter…

How I'd love to have more breakfasts in bed with her…

How I'd love to see her turn the little black and white sketch into a real dress.

How I'd love her more with every breath I took…with every single beat of my heart.

More…oh hell, yes…I wanted more too…

"Yes, Bella, I want more. I know that it's probably too soon to tell you this, but…"

Slowly she turned around and I cupped her face between my hands.

"But what?"

"But I need you to know how I feel about you. When my brother kissed you in front of me…that was like an eye-opener to me."

"Eye-opener?"

"Hmm, when he kissed you, I thought that I had lost you and that hurt like hell."

"Ali, please…we've already talked about the kiss. It didn't mean a thing. Please try to forget it."

She nodded her head.

"And then I realized that you can't lose what isn't yours, it's impossible,"

I kissed her softly and let the tip of my tongue nudge against her ruby tinted lips.

"I want to be yours." I whispered against her mouth and pulled her closer again, knowing that I didn't only want her to hear but feel my words too…


	17. Chapter 17

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers out there. I hope you still like my little story here. It's so much fun writing it for you. Thanks so much for all your encouraging feedback.

To **crossroads-x3**; yeah you're right about Fido. He's Jake in this story. Can't believe no one figured that out before.

This chapter is dedicated to **Silvi86**. Your lovely review really made my day. And to **Kyraaah1992** for telling me that I'm talented.

**Lemon alert in this chapter; as usual…don't like/don't read**

****Chapter17****

Her mouth was soft and warm against mine and a low moan left my throat as the tip of her tongue licked over my lower lip. At first the kiss was slower then usual; almost hesitantly as if her mind was somehow still distracted by what I had told her moments ago.

Her sweet breath tickled my face when she finally pulled back.

"Say it again," she whispered hoarsely.

"I want to be yours." I mumbled and covered her lips with mine again. Her tongue slipped into my slightly parted mouth and a pleasant shiver went down my spine when she nudged it against mine.

I realized that we were still standing in front of the window and that everyone that was passing by would probably be able to see the 'little-lesbo-show' as Emmett had called it.

Was I a lesbian now? I had never been in love with another woman before; I had never even so much as looked at another woman the way I looked at Ali…

"Your bedroom or mine?" she asked me and put my hand to her lips to plant kisses all over the back of my hand.

"Ours," I told her and guided her upwards into the room that had been meant to be hers.

My hands were trembling when I closed the door behind us. The pale light of the full moon was shining through the thin curtains, turning her skin into a beautiful pearly color.

"You're so pretty." I whispered, letting my fingertips stroke down the velvety skin of her cleavage.

"And I'm not only talking about the way you look on the outside. Even if I were blind, I would still know how beautiful you are."

Her hands twisted into my hair to pull me closer to her; closer but not nearly close enough for me.

"Let me show you how much you mean to me," she murmured into my ear and a shiver went down my spine as she nudged the tip of her tongue against the sensitive skin right beneath my hairline.

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply as her dainty fingers moved under my shirt to stroke up and down my back. She pulled the shirt over my head and I started unbuttoning hers with shaking fingers.

"You are nervous, aren't you?" she stated and covered my hand with hers. I nodded my head, when I realized that she was right. Why was that? We had already done this before and I had even let her see me naked. So why should I be nervous now?

She took two steps backwards and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm nervous too."

"Why?" I asked her while I hugged her tightly from behind.

"You don't have to be. It's just me…,"

Slowly she turned her head and cupped my face between her hands.

"It's just me," she mumbled and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I started massaging her neck in smooth circles and felt her relax a little bit under my caress.

"I think, I know why we're so nervous, Bella." She whispered and took my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"Hmm,"

"Because it's the first time that you are truly mine while we're making love,"

"And you're mine…,"

"Bella, I've always been yours…since the first moment I saw you."

"Maybe it was the same for me, Ali. The way I feel about you…I never felt that way about another woman before…or a man,"

"Kiss me," she murmured against my mouth and I sucked her velvety bottom lip between my teeth to nibble on it.

Her shirt fell down her back and I cupped her lace covered breasts in my hands. Moments later the thin fabric landed on the ground next to the bed and I leaned over to circle my tongue over her warm skin.

Her rosy nipples hardened almost instantly and the thought that I could make her body react to me like that send a warm, tingly feeling straight to my heart.

My lips closed around the pebbled nub to suckle on it. A low whimper left her throat and that sound coming from her lips was enough to soak my panties.

She sat down on my lap, straddling me and stroked over the exposed skin of my stomach.

Her hands moved up and down my upper body, leaving trails of invisible fire wherever her fingertips touched me.

"I really don't know, what my favorite part of your body is, Bella." She whispered into my ear.

"But I guess, it's a fifty-fifty thing between your silky hair…," she told me, twisting a wisp of it around the fingers of her left hand while her right one moved lower to circle her thumb over my already hard nipple.

"…and your breasts."

She rolled the tiny nub between her thumb and her forefinger while I desperately tried to suppress the moans that were about to leave my lips over and over now.

"Hmm, I wonder what would be your favorite of mine."

"That's an easy choice for me. It's your eyes…I've never seen anyone with such a color before. It looks like melted caramel toffee."

She raised one eyebrow.

"Caramel toffee?"

"I love caramel…,"

"And I love you," she whispered against my shoulder. "…much more than I thought I could ever do…,"

"Oh Ali,"

Her lips brushed over my face, showering it with dozens of feather light kisses.

"Stay where you are, Bella. I'll be right back."

She stood up from the bed that suddenly felt a lot colder to me without her next to my body.

I could hear her walking down the stairs and wondered what she might be doing downstairs right now.

A few moments later she was back again, closing the distance between us with a few graceful steps that looked more like dancing then walking to me.

"Did you miss me?" she asked me cheerfully and cupped my face in her hand, gently stroking down my jaw with her fingertips.

"Maybe a little bit." I confessed. Or maybe a little bit more, I added in my head.

She waved with a small plastic bottle that she had been hiding behind her back and a grin flashed over her face.

"So you like caramel, hmm?" she mumbled and squeezed the bottle so that a few small drops of the light, golden-colored liquid landed on my left breast. Slowly they ran down my stomach

"Don't worry, I'll clean you up, my darling." Her voice was thick with lust now as she leaned over and licked the caramel off of me again. Then she wiped one of the drops away with her thumb.

"Want a taste?" she asked me, while she smeared the caramel sauce over my upper lip. Hesitantly my tongue darted out to enjoy the familiar sweetness on it.

"It's good." I told her. "But I guess it will be a lot better on your skin."

She smiled and handed me the bottle. I squeezed it carefully and painted a sun around her belly button with the caramel sauce.

A low whimper left her throat when I licked it off with pleasure. Damn it, I thought…it really tastes a lot better from her skin, so much sweeter. I wondered how chocolate would taste on her or maybe whipped cream; So many possibilities to explore.

I pulled down the zipper of her jeans and shoved them down together with the thin fabric of her black thong.

My hands caressed the insides of her slim thighs and she moaned out when I finally stroked over the sensitive, overheated flesh between her legs. My thumb circled over the throbbing pearl of her clit and she twisted her fingers into my hair to pull me closer to her.

"Let me feel you too," she whispered so low that I could barely here her at all.

The rest of my clothes landed on a small pile next to the bed. Slowly she stroked down my breasts and my stomach until she reached my slick folds.

"So warm…so incredibly warm and wet,"

Her mouth found mine again and I whimpered as she started sucking the tip of my tongue between her full lips.

Carefully I inserted two fingers into her tight entrance and curled them upwards.

"Yes, like this…"she moaned against my lips as I pushed my fingers in and out of her in a fast rhythm. Her walls started tightening around them and I knew that she was close…so close, but somehow she still seemed to be trying to hold it back.

"Let go." I whispered into her ear and couldn't resist the urge to suck the pale skin on her collarbone between my teeth.

More wetness poured over my hand and then she convulsed around my fingers that were still inside her.

A heartbeat later the touch of her thumb on my throbbing clit was enough to trigger my own climax. My low moan subsided against her neck and I buried my face into the silky curls of her hair, deeply inhaling her vanilla scent until I finally fell asleep.

**XXXX**

"I don't understand why you won't simply tell me who she is." Rosalie asked her pixie-like sister who tried to keep her eyes focused on the plate in front of her. I made a mental note to me to stop sucking too hard on her skin while we're making love. Or I could buy her a few pretty scarfs to cover up her neck…

"Rose, please stop asking me. It's nothing serious." Damn it, she was pretty good at telling lies. I had to keep an eye on that.

A low chuckle left the throat of my blond-haired sister-in-law as she stood up from the kitchen chair.

"But you would tell me if you'd think it could turn into something more, wouldn't you?"

Yes, I thought. Of course she would…in a world where the woman she loved was not her soon-to-be ex-sister in law.

"Hmm," Ali mumbled and wiped her mouth on a napkin.

"Yes, I would. Is the questioning over now?" she asked her blonde sister and poured herself another glass of Coke.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. You know that I'd love to see you happy, Tinker-Ali."

"Rose, you know how much it embarrasses me if you keep calling me that name."

I raised one eyebrow.

"You kind of liked it a lot when I made it up." she stated and emptied the glass of water in front of her.

"Jeez, Rose…I was how old back then, five maybe? In case you haven't noticed it yet, I don't dance around the house anymore with plastic wings on my back."

You still look like a little pixie though, I thought secretly.

A smile flashed over my face and when her caramel eyes met mine for a split second her cheeks reddened instantly.

Rose cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"Bella, are you sure about the divorce thing? I called my brother last night and he sounded completely miserable."

I rolled my eyes at that. Jeez, what was a little misery on his side compared to five years of a loveless marriage on mine?

"Yes, I am sure. Don't tell me you're not happy about it in secret, Rose. I know that you hate me."

"Jeez, Bella, I don't hate you." she mumbled and twisted her long curls into a knot at the back of her neck.

"I don't particularly like you, you're whiny and have no discipline and …,"

"And what?" Ali interrupted her and her beautiful eyes narrowed angrily.

"Rose, I've already told you, that I don't like it, when you talk to Bella like that."

"Why are you defending her? She's divorcing our brother!"

"Damn it, he deserves it. Edward is an arrogant asshole who can't keep his dick in his pants."

"He's still our brother. I'm not saying that what he did was right or something like that. It's just…"

"It's just what? You're such a hypocrite, Rose. What would you do if Emmett would ever cheat on you?"

"That's completely different. Em and I, we don't have a child that we have to think about."

And you probably never will, I thought.

"Look, I want Lilly to be happy, I really do, but I can't spend the next ten, twelve or whatever years at the side of someone who doesn't care about me at all. I want her to know what love is…,"

"Mommy!" Lilly called from upstairs.

"Can I use your blow-dryer?"

"What for? Honey, you know that I don't want you to play with electrical devices."

"It's not for me. I need it to dry Fido's fur."

"Lilly! For heaven's sake, what have you done with the dog?"

Quickly we walked upstairs, greeted by a strange mixed up scent of strawberries and wood and something awful that I couldn't really put a name to. What the hell was that?

"I bathed him." Lilly explained proudly.

"Sweetie, you shouldn't have done that."

"But he smelled funny and I thought that you would allow me to let him sleep on my bed if he's clean."

"He doesn't smell that much better now," Ali stated and wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"That's just because he's wet right now. All wet dogs smell." Rosalie tried to explain. She and the calf-sized canine had one of these amazing love-hate relationships that were completely incomprehensible to outsiders.

She wrapped a towel over his fur in order to dry it a little bit and stuffed a little piece of dry toast into his snout.

"I have to go now. Come with me, Fido."

"Oh, Auntie Rosie, please let him stay here! He's the only one who can protect me from the evil witch."

"Lilly, please…how often will we have to tell you that there are no witches? You don't have to be afraid." Rose mumbled and petted her copper-colored head.

"She is right, sweetie." Ali told her, before she lifted her up and planted a kiss on her tiny cheek.

"Everything will be okay." I whispered and right now, I desperately hoped that my words would stay true.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] Hmm, how long do you think will it take until the rest of the Cullen's figure out the little Bellice secret?

You might get another chapter tomorrow, if I'm motivated enough to write it. Until next time…take care ;-)


	18. Chapter 18

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Virtual hugs for all of you who keep reading and reviewing. Your kind words encourage me to continue writing. I'm sorry that this one is so short, hope you'll like it anyway.

This chapter is dedicated to **tochstn**. I loved all your thoughts about the Lilly/ Tanya situation. And to **aquarius127**, because she liked that I turned Jake into Fido in this story.

****Chapter 18****

The only bad thing about being happy was that it's so damn hard not to be able to tell anyone about it. Right now I was happier than I had ever been in my entire life, and I wished that I could tell the whole world about it.

"Penny for your thoughts." she whispered and twisted a wisp of my chestnut hair around her fingers to pull me closer. Her gorgeous lips found mine, and I moaned into her mouth as she slipped her tongue between my slightly parted lips.

"It's nothing." I mumbled breathlessly when she finally pulled back.

"Bella, I'm not stupid. Whatever it is you can tell me."

"Yeah, I know, Ali."

I wrapped my arms around her dainty waist and rested my head against her shoulder. My nose nudged against her soft skin and I inhaled deeply to absorb as much of her vanilla apple scent as possible.

"Have I ever told you that you smell good enough to eat?"

She chuckled slightly and planted a kiss on my hair.

"Hmm, yes you did, several times to tell the truth."

My face reddened under the curtain of my long hair and she pulled it behind my ear to kiss my cheek and the tip of my nose.

"I think it's cute when you blush, Bella."

"Hmm, I don't think so. Blushing is kind of cute when you're twelve years old, but when you're twenty-nine…," My eyes caught the calendar that was hanging on the fridge and I cringed.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked me when she noticed it. Quickly I nodded my head and poured myself another cup of coffee.

The phone rang and I hesitated to pick it up when I recognized the number.

"Hi mom," I greeted her halfheartedly.

"Isabella, oh good you're already awake. Happy birthday, sweetheart!"

"Thanks mom," I mumbled and nipped on my coffee. It still wasn't sweet enough so I added another spoon of sugar.

"Have you started training with one of the Yoga DVD's I've sent you, sweetheart?"

Lie, I thought. Just lie. Of course, I couldn't do it. Not even on the phone, damn it…

"No mom. Jeez, you know that I'm not really into sports."

"Oh Isabella come on. You'll never lose the weight that you put on during your pregnancy if you don't work out. I only gained ten pounds when I had you and…,"

My brain went on stand-by modus while she continued her usual rambling about my overweight. God, how much I hated it when she did that.

"How's Phil?" I asked her after a while, hoping that she would drop the weight subject now. Her new husband was one of her favorite topics.

"Oh, sweetheart, he got that new trainer job in Jacksonville. Can you believe it that we're really moving to Florida in a few weeks? We found a beautiful house with a pool and everything."

"That's good mom."

"Is my son-in-law around, I'd love to talk to him."

"Edward is in Alaska."

"That's too bad, sweetheart. I bet he's sad that he can't be home for your birthday."

Yeah, he's probably crying his eyes out right now. Most likely at the shoulder of his strawberry-haired bitch…

"Isabella?"

"Hmm,"

"Is something wrong?"

Damn it, why did she have to be so curious. I sighed deeply and started biting my lower lip nervously before I spoke up again.

"We're getting a divorce."

"What? He left you? Oh honey, I'm so sorry about that."

"He didn't leave me…I left him."

"Isabella, you're kidding me, aren't you?"

"No, mom…,"

"Oh Isabella, how could you consider doing something so completely stupid?"

"Stupid? Mom, I hate to remind you…but you left Charlie too."

"That's something completely different, Isabella."

Yes, you're right I thought. I left my husband because I hated to be treated like crap and you left a man who worshipped the ground you walked on just because you hated small-town life so much. Completely different indeed…

"Look, mom. I don't have to justify my decisions."

"Oh Isabella, don't be like that. I just want to help you. I don't think you've thought enough about the possible consequences of this particular decision."

A low growl left my throat and my hands started trembling a little bit.

"Mom, I don't need or want you opinion about this."

"I think you do. Maybe I should come to Seattle to talk some sense into your pig head."

"For the last time now, mom. I know what I'm doing. This is my life not yours. I'm sorry that I'm not the perfect, size 10-daughter that you've always wished for…,"

"Stop being so sullen, you sound too much like Charlie when you talk like that."

"Exactly mom, maybe that's the reason why you and I don't really get along,"

My voice cracked at the end and I tasted something salty on my lips when I disconnected the call.

Ali put one hand on my shoulder and started rubbing my back comfortingly.

"You're okay?"

"Yes," I croaked out and sniffed. Ali pulled a tissue out of her pocket and wiped away a few of the tears that kept running down my cheeks.

"I don't like it when you cry." she stated and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

"You're so much prettier when you smile, Bella."

Automatically my lips twitched upwards into a grimace. She smiled back at me, exposing a row of perfect pearl-white teeth that formed a strong contrast to her ruby tinted lips.

"You too, you know…well, you're always pretty of course."

Her lips nudged against mine for a moment but then we heard Lilly running down the stairs and I quickly pulled back. I twisted my fingers with hers and squeezed her hand. Holding her hand in front of my daughter would be okay, wouldn't it? I wondered how long we could keep our little secret to ourselves.

How much, I hated it to even think about it as a secret. Ali was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I didn't want to hide my feelings for her.

"Mommy!" she called out cheerfully and wrapped her arm around my neck as I kneeled down to lift her up.

"Morning, honey, you slept long today. Were you tired?" I asked her and sat her down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"No, I didn't sleep long; I finished your present." She stated and showed me the piece of paper that she had been hiding behind her back.

"Happy birthday!"

Ali's eyes met mine for a split second and the edges of her lips twitched. Somehow she looked hurt now, as if I had kept something extremely important from her. Damn it, it was just my stupid birthday and I almost forgot about it myself.

"Mommy? Don't you like it?"

"Oh honey, that's so pretty. Thank you." I looked at the children's drawing that probably only a mother could love.

"Is that a horse, sweetie?" Ali asked as she poured her a glass of orange juice.

Lilly crossed her arms in front of her chest and frowned.

"But Auntie Ali, can't you see that it's Fido?"

"Yeah, of course, Lilly,"

It could probably be a dinosaur too; I thought secretly and fought the urge to laugh out loud.

"Honey, your aunt doesn't know your drawings. You have to explain it to her."

"Hmm," she mumbled and stood up from the kitchen chair.

"That's Fido and me in the park," she started cheerfully and pointed towards the little red-haired girl next to the gigantic horse…ahm…dog.

"And that's you and my Mommy."

"Your Mommy looks happy." Ali mumbled so low that I wasn't sure if Lilly would be able to understand her at all.

"Mommy is always happier when you're with her." She stated and I felt every drop of blood in my veins streaming straight into my face. How was it possible that a little child could figure my emotional state out so easily?

"Are you hungry, Lilly?" I asked her in a weak attempt to distract her from observing the relationship between her mother and her pixie-like aunt.

She nodded her head and I put some peanut butter on a piece of toast. Then I cut it into four small pieces and placed them in front of her.

"Mommy…?" she started hesitantly and nibbled on her breakfast.

"Yes, honey?"

"Are you and daddy still angry at each other?"

"Yes, honey…but that has nothing to do with you."

"Is it because of the evil witch?"

"No, honey, it's not. And please stop calling her a witch. Her name is Tanya."

She started biting her fingernails, and I took her hand in mine to stop it.

"Honey, don't do that please. It'll make your nails look ugly."

"Mommy, I know that she's a witch. She's so evil and you won't allow me to let Fido stay with me at night to protect me from her."

Ali kneeled down in front of her and put a wisp of her copper hair behind her ear.

"Why are you still so afraid of her? We've already told you that she won't come here."

Lilly stared down on the ground, desperately trying to avoid eye contact.

"Sweetie, are you okay? You know that you can tell Mommy everything."

She nodded her head but the tensed expression on her face didn't disappear.

"Lilly?"

"She will come back at night and hurt me." She mumbled towards the floor, her voice trembling with fear.

"Lilly, honey, she can't come here."

"Yes she can. Mommy, please ask Auntie Rosie to bring Fido over to stay with me."

Tears started glittering in the corners of her brown eyes, the only physical similarity that she had inherited from me and not her father. I pulled her on my lap and stroked up and down her back in small circles to calm her down again. I cursed my soon-to-be ex-husband for hiring this strawberry-haired whore as his secretary.

Ali stood up again and pulled her cell out of her handbag.

"It's enough…I'm going to call Jazz now." She mumbled and flipped the cell open.

I raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"Why, do you want to call Jasmine? There is nothing wrong with Lilly. I think she's just confused because of the things she saw in her father's office."

"I don't think so, Bella. It's not normal that she's so afraid of Tanya."

"Ali, I don't trust shrinks. They make me nervous…," And this particular one especially.

A noise that was probably meant to be a chuckle left her throat as she leaned down and pulled my hair over my shoulder to plant a kiss on my neck. Her mouth was soft on my skin and I closed my eyes to enjoy her gentle caress for a moment. Then I realized that I shouldn't allow myself to let her touch me like this when Lilly was around and I stiffened instantly.

"Try to relax." she mumbled into my ear and her breathe tickled my skin pleasantly.

"We're not doing anything wrong here. You're officially separated from your husband now. It is worse enough that we still have to keep things from the rest of my family."

I cupped her face between my hands to cover her lips with mine. Somehow it felt as if I had finally come home at last.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] Any suggestions about what Ali could get Bella for her birthday? Feel free to let me know.


	19. Chapter 19

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers out there. Thanks so much for taking the time to read & review my little story. Your encouragement means more to me than you'll ever know.

*This chapter was difficult for me to write and I really hope that I didn't mess things up too much. I actually managed to make myself cry again…

I also wanted to let you know that I have zero knowledge about psychology and stuff like that. This is pure fiction.*

****Chapter 19****

I can't believe, I'm actually doing this, I thought while we entered the main entrance of the hospital.

"Are we going to see Grandpa?" Lilly asked me curiously and squeezed my hand for a moment.

Quickly I shook my head.

"No, honey, we're not here to visit your Grandfather."

I took a deep breath through my nose to calm myself down again. Hesitantly I knocked on the wooden door of Jasmine's office.

"Hello Bella." She greeted me cheerfully.

Then she kneeled down in front of my daughter and a smile flashed over her face that didn't reach her eyes.

"Hi, I'm Jasmine. You must be Lilly?"

She nodded her head.

"Are you a doctor?"

"No, Lilly, I'm not a doctor."

"But why do you work in the hospital when you're not a doctor?"

"Lilly…,"

Jasmine chuckled slightly and sat down on a red leather sofa behind her.

"Don't worry, Bella. It's okay, that she's so curious. That's normal for a child her age."

She cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"You see, Lilly. Sometimes people come and talk to me about things that they don't want to talk about with someone else."

Yes, I thought. Sick people that have mental problems…my child is not wrong in the head, damn it.

"Hmm,"

"Lilly, do you know what a fairytale is?"

"You mean like Cinderella and Snow White?" She mumbled and started biting her fingernails nervously.

I fought the urge to tell her to stop it but instead I put a wisp of her copper hair behind her ear.

"Yes, that's right, Lilly."

"But the evil witch is real, Jasmine."

"Lilly…for the last time now…she's not a witch. Her name is Tanya." I tried to make my voice sound calm but it almost cracked at the end.

"Bella, if you can't keep your mouth shut, I'll make you wait outside."

I cringed slightly and crossed my arms in front of my chest. This was ridiculous and I shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place.

"Lilly, why do you think she's a witch?"

"Because I know she's a witch. She's so evil and my Mommy won't allow me to let Fido sleep with me at night to protect me." The reproachful tone in her voice sent an unpleasant feeling through my heart.

"Who's Fido?"

"He's Auntie Rosie's dog. Do you want me to draw you a picture of him?"

"Maybe later, Lilly… does Fido know that she's a witch?"

"No, but the witch is scared of him because he's so big."

"How do you know that she's scared of him?"

"Because when we went to see my Daddy he told Auntie Rosie not to bring him with her again because Tanya is scared of him."

What the hell had Rosalie had been doing with her at Edward's office?

"I don't like being there. Daddy only has boring books without pictures."

"Lilly, honey, why were you there?"

"Because Auntie Rosie bought too many eggs,"

Jasmine raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"She bought too many eggs?"

"Yes, she was angry and told my Daddy that she doesn't want to waste all her eggs again."

Her words still didn't make any sense to us at all.

"Lilly, what did you do while your aunt talked to your father?"

"He made me stay with the witch," she mumbled while her eyes stayed focused on the grey linoleum floor. Tears started falling down her cheeks and I pulled her onto my lap. Slowly I started rocking her back and forth and rubbed her back in small circles.

"Lilly, honey, you don't have to be afraid of her. She can't come here."

"Yes, she can. She'll come back at night and hurt me."

I bit my lower lip so hard that I tasted blood on the tip of my tongue. What the hell was happening here?

"Lilly, why do you think that she would she hurt you?"

She sniffed and wiped her running nose on the back of her hand.

"I can't tell you because it's a secret."

"Has anyone ever told you that there are two kinds of secrets, Lilly?" Jasmine asked her and kneeled down in front of her again.

"No."

"You see. Some secrets are fun…like not telling about a present to surprise someone. But not telling about something that scares you is not a fun secret. Do you think that you can understand the difference?"

She nodded her head.

"You don't have to keep a secret that is not fun." Jasmine stated and twisted her honey blonde curls into a ponytail.

"Really?"

"Yes."

I felt a big lump in my throat and swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling. You can't cry now, I tried to remember myself. This will be so much worse for her if you cry now.

"The witch was angry because Daddy made her stay with me while he talked to Auntie Rosie. She said that I'm always in the way." Lilly sniffed again and I pulled a tissue out of my pocket.

"Blow, sweetie,"

"Stop distracting her." Jasmine whispered into my ear. "She's finally starting to talk about it."

"She ripped my hair out and said that it looks Daddy's."

Fucking bitch…you'll better make sure that I don't see you again. Wonder how pretty you will look like when you're completely bald.

"And then she said that she hates me and that everything would be fine, if I just were dead."

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry about that."

"Lilly, why do you think that she will come back at night?"

"Because she told me that…," she stopped abruptly and I pulled her closer to me when I realized that her entire body started quivering.

"What did she tell you, honey?" I croaked out, my own voice barely a whisper.

"That she would come to my room when I sleep and eat my heart..."

"Did she tell you why she would do that?" Jasmine asked her and I wondered how she could manage to keep so calm, while a little child told her something as horrible like that.

"I don't know…,"

"Honey, you don't have to be afraid anymore. Mommy won't let her come near you…ever again."

"But she can come to my room whenever she wants."

"How?"

"Because she has a key to our house…,"

**XXXX**

My hands were shaking so much that I had trouble to pull my cell out of my handbag. When I finally managed to close my fist around it, I dropped the entire bag to the hard asphalt of the parking lot.

"Lilly, Bella, what are you doing here?" Slowly I raised my head, knowing that my eyes would look all puffy and red now.

"Nothing," I croaked out and forced my face into a calm grimace.

"Auntie Rosie!" Lilly called out and wrapped her arms around her.

"Are you here to visit Grandpa?"

She shook her head.

"But I guess you were. Did he let you play with his stethoscope?"

"No, Mommy and I talked to Jasmine…but she's not a doctor. And she was nice and she believed me when I told her about the evil witch."

Rosalie raised one eyebrow.

"You made her talk to a shrink, seriously? Damn it, you're the one who should go and get professional help, Bella. Maybe the nice people at Weight Watchers can help you solve your problems…"

"Mind your own business!" I snarled at her while I felt a wave of fresh tears burning in the corners of my eyes. With trembling hands I opened the backseat of the Volvo and sat Lilly down in her child seat.

"Lilly is my business! She's my niece."

"See, that's the point Mrs. McCarthy. You're just her aunt, but I'm her mother. Of course, I can't expect _you_ to know the difference…"

"Fuck you! That was below the belt..."

I nodded my head.

"Yeah, I know Rosalie, but the things you keep saying to me…they're not exactly compliments, are they?"

"Just for the record, Bella, you call yourself fat whenever the opportunity presents itself."

"That's different. You only do it because you hate me. Damn it, you hated me from the first moment we met…,"

She sighed deeply and rubbed her chin thoughtlessly and then to my immense surprise she started crying. I didn't even know that she had lacrimal glands…

"I don't hate you, Bella. In fact I never did."

"Why are you always so rude to me, if you don't?"

"God, Bella…can't you see that I envy you? Edward told us that you were pregnant the first time we met you and my parents were so thrilled and happy about that." She sniffed and pulled out a tissue to clean her nose.

"And then he put his ear against your belly to hear the heartbeat of the baby."

"Yeah, I remember."

"Emmett and I…we will never have that, never. Did you know that my chances of ever getting pregnant are under ten percent? Not even ten fucking percent! And you…you didn't even plan to have a child. It just happened to you. That's so unfair."

"Look, Rose…I'm sorry about that, but I'm not responsible for your misery."

"Yeah, I know that. But you don't know how it's like…to see everything you ever wished for…right in front of you…every, fucking day. I don't give a shit about how miserable you are because your ass doesn't fit in a size 10 dress."

"Mommy, are you and Auntie Rosie fighting?"

"No, honey, we're just talking. Stay in the car, Lilly."

Rosalie cleaned her nose again and wiped away the last tears from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I...I shouldn't let myself go like that. Must be all the estrogen in my blood, I guess."

Yeah, probably, that and the fact that you're a natural born bitch…

"It will get better tomorrow, when they extract the eggs again."

_Auntie Rosie bought too many eggs…_

My legs suddenly felt too weak to stand up right and so I kneeled down against the car.

"Bella?"

"It's nothing. I'm just a little bit dizzy right now. "

"Hmm,"

I inhaled deeply through my nose and tried to control the slight trembling in my hands.

"Lilly…"

"Bella…is something wrong with Lilly? She's not sick or anything?"

A low sob left my throat and it took me several attempts until I was able to bring out something intelligible.

"You…you left her alone with that…that…witch who scared her to death!"

"Bella, breathe. I don't understand what you're talking about."

"Lilly told Jasmine that you went to see Edward because you didn't want to waste all your eggs again."

"I asked him to make a contract for a possible surrogate mother. Well, you know, how Emmett thinks about that. It wasn't a very smart idea."

"Leaving my daughter alone with that strawberry-haired whore, whom your brother calls a secretary wasn't that much smarter."

"Tanya? She didn't do anything to hurt Lilly, did she?" she asked me anxiously while her voice raised two octaves.

Her blue eyes met mine for a split second and I realized that the worry in hers was a weaker reflection of my own pain.

"Bella?"

"Damn it, Rose. Lilly is so scared of her and I didn't believe her. I'm such a horrible mother."

"No you're not. You're amazing. I know that I'll probably never be a mom…but if I could, I wished that I could be like you."

"If I were a good mother, I would have known that something was wrong with my child."

"What the hell did Tanya do to her?"

"She told her that she wished… that she wished that she was dead…that she would come to her room at night and…," my voice cracked at the end, making me unable to finish the horrible threats that Tanya had made towards my four-year old.

"You're kidding me, aren't you? How dare she?"

"She told her that she has a key to our house and could come there whenever she wanted. God, you should have seen Lilly's face when she told us."

"Do you think that she really has a key? Maybe she only made that up to scare her?"

"I don't know. Edward might have given her one."

Rose pulled her cell out.

"Whom are you going to call now?"

"My brother, we need to know if the key thing is true."

She dialed his number and put the loudspeaker on. Her eyes narrowed into tiny slits when a light female voice answered the phone.

"Denali,"

"What the fuck are you doing on my brother's cell?" she snarled at her.

"Edward, it's your sister." I heard her mumble in the background.

"Which one?" he asked, his voice sounding completely stressed now.

"I think it's the blonde one."

"Tell her, I'll call her back later."

"He has no time to speak right now."

"So he has no time to speak, that's too bad. What about the two of us of have a little conversation then instead?"

"Ahm...I don't know. What do you want to talk about with me?"

"Well, I don't really want to talk to you. There is no use in talking to scum like you. But I want you to remember something. Do you think you can do that?"

"Should I write it down?"

"If it helps you to remember, you can."

"Hmm,"

"If you dare to come near my niece ever again, it'll be your last fucking move on this earth."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You stupid piece of shit…you know exactly what I'm talking about. You told her some horrible things that scared her."

"Oh come on. The child probably only has a very vivid imagination."

"I see there is in fact no use talking to you. Bye Tanya."

She disconnected the call and sighed deeply.

"Fucking bitch, I hope that she'll stay away from Lilly now."

"Yeah, me too…but what about the key?"

"Hmm, you should probably get the lock changed. I can ask Emmett to do that for you, if you want to."

"Yeah, that would be great."

"No biggie."

"I should better go home now. Good luck with the…well with the egg thing."

She nodded her head and a smile appeared on her face before she turned around and walked towards the hospital.

I sat down in the car and started the engine that instantly roared to life.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, you can, Lilly. Anything you want."

"Why do you never kiss Auntie Rosie like you kiss Auntie Ali?"

**XOXXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] For those of you who were wondering why Alice wasn't in the chapter. She's been busy preparing Bella's birthday present.

I also wanted to know of someone would be so nice and PM me how the whole divorce process (how long do they have to be separated until they can get divorced etc.) in the US works because I'm not sure if it's the same like in Germany.

Until next time, take care :-)


	20. Chapter 20

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers. Thanks so much for taking the time to read & review my Bellice story. Your kind and encouraging words mean so much to me. They really manage to cheer me up when real life sucks. So thanks a lot for all of them.

This chapter is dedicated to **MangekyoMasta510** for telling me that his story is one of the best Bellice stories she read. And to **aquarius127** because her suggestion what Bella could do to Tanya made me laugh so hard.

****Chapter 20****

Little children have the annoyingly habit of asking a lot of questions. Some of them are easy to answer, some are not and some of them are just embarrassing. The last one my four-year old daughter had come up with a few seconds ago was one of the last two categories.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Do you like Auntie Ali better then Auntie Rosie?"

I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"No, Lilly, it's just…well I don't like her better. I like her …in a different way."

God, how should I explain something as complicated as my current state of love life to my little daughter?

"I think I like Auntie Rosie better than Auntie Ali." She stated after a few awkward moments of silence.

"Why?" I asked her, glad that she had hopefully forgotten about the kiss thing.

"Because she gave me my Barbie house for Christmas and she has Fido."

Love was obviously a lot simpler when you were a four-year old.

I parked the house in front of the house and a shiver went down my spine when I remembered the awful things that Lilly had told me and Jasmine.

_She has a key to our house…._

Had the strawberry-haired bitch already been here? Checked how her boss/lover lived with this happy façade that he dared to call a family.

"Mommy, why do you kiss Auntie Ali on the lips?"

My face flushed three different shades of crimson red and I desperately tried to remember how to speak.

"Uncle Emmett kisses Auntie Rosie too when they think no one can see them." She continued cheerfully.

"Yeah, I know, sweetie. You see, sometimes adult people like to kiss each other. It feels nice, but you'll understand that better when you're older."

"But I want to understand it now."

I wondered if I should probably tell her not to tell anybody about me and Ali kissing, but I was too chicken to bring it up. It was probably only a matter of time until Lilly would accidentally slip…

"Lilly?"

"Yes, Mommy?"

"I'm really sorry that I didn't believe you about the witch. I should have listened to you better."

"Hmm,"

As soon as I opened the door Ali appeared in the doorframe and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I'm so glad that you're back, Bella." She mumbled and planted a soft kiss on my mouth. Her sweet breathe tickled my skin pleasantly while I nudged the tip of my tongue against her full bottom lip.

With a low sigh I finally pulled back, instantly missing the touch of her warm lips on mine.

"Went everything okay with Jazz? She didn't ask you anything that made you feel uncomfortable, did she?" she whispered anxiously into my ear.

I nodded my head and swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling again.

She seemed to notice it and pulled me closer for a moment.

"I'll explain everything to you later." I murmured so low that my voice was barely audible.

"Kay,"

Ali kneeled down in front of Lilly and twisted a wisp of her long copper curls around her fingers.

"Do you want me to braid your hair again, sweetie?"

"Yes, please! You make my hair so pretty."

A smile flashed over her pixie face and the warm tingly feeling in my stomach increased. I loved her even more for loving Lilly so much. It was so obvious how much she cared for her niece. Not in the same way Rose loved her, deeply but always with the slight hint of bitterness, because my child constantly reminded her of something she would probably never have.

"My brother sent you a pack. Do you want to open it? It looks expensive."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes in disbelief.

"Whatever it is, I don't want it."

She seemed relieved, and I took her hand in mine to squeeze it gently. My fingertips caressed her palm in small circles.

The doorbell rang and I went to open the door, never letting go of Ali's hand. I wished I never would have to…

"Hello Bella, happy birthday. How does it feel like to be old?"

"Hi, Emmett,"

"Fido!" Lilly called out cheerfully and wrapped her hands around the huge, russet-colored dog. He licked her face, and she wrinkled her tiny nose in disgust.

"Yuck!" she mumbled and wiped the slobber from her chin.

Emmett chuckled slightly and turned to Ali who had her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her caramel eyes sparkled feisty.

"You shouldn't tell her that she's old. It will probably make her feel bad."

"Oh come on, Tinker-Ali. I was just kidding."

"McCarthy, you know exactly how much I hate it when you call me that name. It's so embarrassing."

"Yeah, I know, that makes it much more fun."

She rolled her eyes at that and an evil smirk appeared on the face of her bear-like brother in law.

"I honestly don't know why my sister loves you. Sometimes you have the emotional maturity of a thirteen year old."

He sighed deeply and rubbed his chin thoughtlessly.

"I could tell you what she loves about me, but that would probably be quite useless considering the fact that you have zero interest in men."

"You're right about that."

"By the way…Rosie thinks that you're secretly dating Jasmine again."

"Seriously? What makes her think something like that?"

"Jeez, you know how curious she is. And you refused to tell her anything about the person…," he grinned at me again, obviously amused by the horrified look on my face.

"…who gave you the hickey on your neck; so she assumed that you're probably dating someone whom you didn't want her to know about."

"Emmett, please. There is no way, I can tell her about me and Bella. She wouldn't understand it."

He raised his hands in a placatory gesture.

"Ali, I've already told you, that I won't tell anyone. But your sister isn't stupid. The two of you can't hide your little affair…romance…relationship, or whatever you and Bella are currently having, from her and others forever."

"Don't you think that we already know that?" I told him and put my arms around Ali's shoulder.

"I hate that everything is so complicated. It scares me." Ali whispered and interlaced the fingers of her right hand with mine.

"You don't have to worry about Rosie. She might be angry at first, but she'll forgive you. Your sister is very protective of you and she wants you to be happy."

"Yeah, I know, but she wants the same for Edward too. Don't you think that will inevitably cause a conflict of interests?"

"Hmm…who knows? The thing is that your brother didn't really do a lot to make his wife happy. He's a crappy husband and an even lousier father, if you ask me."

I nodded my head.

"He told me that he wants full custody for Lilly if I'm going to divorce him."

He raised one eyebrow.

"That's a joke isn't it? There is no way he'll get through with this."

**XXXX**

I inhaled deeply through my nose and the delicious smell made my mouth water.

"Happy birthday, my darling." She whispered into my ear and hugged me tightly from behind.

I turned my head and my heart skipped a beat when her gorgeous mouth captured mine in a tender kiss. A low moan escaped my throat as the tip of her tongue slipped between my slightly parted lips to caress the inside of my mouth.

She smiled against my lips when she finally pulled back.

"I hope you're hungry." For you anytime…for good food…probably too, I thought secretly.

"You cooked for me?" I asked her while she pulled my hair over my shoulder to caress the exposed skin on my neck with her fingertips.

"Yeah, I did. And I want you to eat up everything that I made for you. I don't want to hear any of this weight loss crap tonight."

Her hands moved down my spine and stroked over my hips.

"In case you haven't noticed it yet…I really like that you're so curvy."

"Ali, you don't have to lie to me, just to make me feel better about my body."

"Bella, I would never lie to you, never. You are gorgeous…so soft and warm. I can barely keep my hands off of you."

"It's the same for me, when it comes to you, Ali. I just wished we had more time alone. It probably means that I'm selfish."

"Bella, trust me. You're far from being selfish."

"Lilly is still so confused about the whole Tanya thing. I shouldn't have let her stay the night with Rose and Emmett again."

"She'll probably feel saver at their house then here right now. And I'm glad, Emmett changed the lock. The whole thing is so creepy."

"Yeah, I know, but still…,"

Gently she put one finger on my lips to silence me.

"Stop worrying that much. Everything will be okay. My sister is thrilled when she gets to spend time with Lilly."

She sucked my earlobe between her teeth and nibbled on it. I closed my eyes and sighed when I felt myself relax under her caress.

"Would you like to see your second present now?" she whispered softly.

"Ali, you already cooked for me the entire afternoon. That's really enough."

She shook her head and the spikey ends of her hair tickled my neck.

"No, it's not. And I wished that I could give you a lot more than what I can."

"Ali, I don't care about material things. I've never had a lot of money before I got married. You care about me; that means a lot more to me than anything that you could buy."

"You're cute, Bella. But if you won't accept my gift, you'll make me feel bad."

"I can't let that happen, Ali. So can I see it now?"

She searched for something in her pocket. Then she closed the fragile silver necklace around my neck. The heart-shaped pendant felt colt against my skin.

"It's made of amber." She whispered kissed the sensitive spot right beneath my ear with trembling lips.

"The woman in the shop told me that the color of it is close to my eye color."

"It's really pretty. Thank you."

"It's meant to remind you that my heart is yours. No matter what will happen, it will always be."

Slowly I turned around and cupped her beautiful face between my hands.

"I promise to take good care of it." I mumbled, while I felt tears burning in the corners of my eyes.

Then I leaned down and kissed her full lips so lightly that I was barely touching her mouth at all.

She twisted her hands into my hair to pull me closer to her. I whimpered slightly when she sucked my upper lip between hers. The tip of her tongue nudged against mine and that touch sent something that was comparable to an electric shock, but way more pleasant through my entire body.

"I'm scared, Bella."

"Why?" I whispered and stroked down her jawline with my fingertips.

"Because you already mean so much to me, and I know that it's stupid, but I'm still so afraid to lose you."

"You won't. Don't you know that I love you far too much to let you go?"

"You love me?"

"If I know what love is, it is because of you…" I whispered, feeling a single tear running down my cheek.

Carefully she wiped it away with her thumb.

"Don't cry. You know that I like it better when you smile at me."

I cleared my throat and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"So what did you cook for me?"

"Coq au vin, one of my roommates in Paris showed me how to do it. It's one of the few things that I can do apart from microwave popcorn."

She filled my plate and poured me a glass of a ruby colored wine.

Slowly I put a tiny piece of the chicken into my mouth. Damn it, it tasted even better than it smelled.

"It's so delicious. That's the best thing anyone ever made me eat."

A smile flashed over her face that made her beautiful eyes sparkle in different shades of gold.

I took her hand in mine and put it to my lips to plant soft kisses all over her knuckles.

"Will we have dessert too?" I asked her while I nipped on the wine in front of me.

She nodded her head.

"Twice," she told me cheerfully and touched my knee under the table.

"Twice?"

"Well, I made mousse au chocolat for you because I know how much you like chocolate and then…,"

Her cheeks turned into a bright crimson color and she stared down at her plate.

I put one finger under her chin to make her look up at me again.

"And then?"

"And then I'd really like to try the strap-on with you tonight."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] The next chapter will probably be interesting to read, I guess. *smile* I'm pretty sure some of you had already forgotten about Alice's little toy LOL

As always, reviews encourage me to write faster. Until next time, take care.


	21. Chapter 21

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N]

To **aquarius127** and everyone else who had questions about the time-line of this story:

I really suck at making it out but it's been about six weeks since they met.

This chapter is dedicated to all of you who waited so patiently for the strap-on scene. Hope you won't be disappointed.

** Lemon alert in this one. As usual don't like/ don't read…..

But I bet you wouldn't be here right now if you didn't. Am I right? **

****Chapter 21****

Her sweet breathe tickled the skin on my neck as she hugged me tightly from behind.

"I hope that it's okay that I re-decorated the bedroom."

"Of course it is. It makes it look more like ours now and that's so beautiful."

"Not too many candles?"

"I like candle-light. It makes my skin look pretty."

Slowly I turned around and cupped her face between my hands. I kissed her mouth and enjoyed the touch of her velvety lower lip underneath the tip of my tongue. She parted her lips and I slipped my tongue into her mouth to nudge it against hers.

I pulled her shirt over her head and pulled her closer to me, letting my fingers stroke up and down her bare spine until I reached the clasp of her bra. A moment later it landed on the ground, and I cupped her breasts in my hands.

"Beautiful," I whispered when her nipples hardened under my caress.

Somehow I managed to maneuver us to the bed without breaking our kisses.

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered against the soft skin on her neck.

"Of course you can, my darling."

"Have you used something like that strap-on often before?"

She chuckled slightly and turned us over so that she was sitting on top of me. Her hands unbuttoned my blouse and she started drawing circles over the exposed skin of my cleavage.

"Curious, aren't we?"

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have asked that. You don't have to tell me, if it makes you feel uncomfortable." My cheeks turned into a crimson red and to my immense surprise her face reddened too.

"No, that's okay, Bella."

She kissed my mouth again and searched for something under the bed. The toy bag probably.

"Don't laugh, will you? I've never used something like this with my previous partners before."

"And what made you buy it?"

"I'm curious."

I leaned over and pulled her close to me again.

"See, that's why we're so perfect for each other, Ali. We're both curious."

"I guess you could be right about that." She mumbled and pulled down the zipper of my jeans. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply when she shoved them down my legs.

Painfully slow she kissed her way down my upper body. The tip of her tongue swirled over my nipples and a low moan escaped my mouth when she sucked one of it between her lips to suckle on it greedily.

I twisted my hands into her silky hair and pulled her closer so that the hard nubs of her bare breasts touched against mine.

"Let me kiss you first, my darling." She whispered and pulled down my panties, her tongue circled over my belly button and went lower and lower until she finally reached the throbbing pearl of my clit.

She held me open with two of her fingers and caressed every single fold between my legs with the tip of her tongue.

I pulled a pillow over my mouth to stiffen the noises that constantly escaped my throat. God, the things she could do to my body…

She raised her head and stroked the insides of my thighs with her fingertips.

"Please don't do that, Bella. You know how much I love to hear how I make you feel."

Then she inserted two fingers inside of me and curled them upwards while her tongue continued circling over my clit so lightly that she was barely touching me. She moaned against my overheated flesh and when I looked down at her, I realized that her other hand had moved underneath her skirt. Fuck, how much I wanted that hand to be mine right now and not hers. I bet her panties were already damp from her slick wetness. The thought was enough to set me over the edge and my inner walls convulsed around her fingers as the after waves of my climax made my legs tremble.

She kissed her way up again and I could taste the tartness of my own lust on her lips when she reached my mouth.

"I think that you're ready now." She whispered and opened the purple bag that looked completely innocent on the edge of the bed.

"But you're not." I murmured.

"You have still far too many clothes on for my taste."

"Well, we can change that very easily, can't we?"

She stood up from the bed and shoved this ridiculous nothing that she dared to call a skirt down her milky-white legs. Then she took my hand in hers and placed it over the thin lace fabric of her underwear.

"You can help me with this if you want to."

I pulled it down and my fingertips brushed over the shaved skin of her outer lips.

"Bella," she croaked out.

"Will you let me use the strap-on on you now, my darling?"

"If you want to..."

"Can't you feel how much I want to, Bella?" she whispered so low that her voice was barely audible.

My forefinger moved higher between her legs and a loud moan escaped her full lips when I reached the warm wetness that kept pouring out her entrance.

I put the finger into my mouth and my eyes never left hers when I licked it clean again.

"Yes, I think I can…I can even taste how much you want it."

She smiled at me and pulled the strap-on out of the purple bag together with a small tube of lube and a package of…

"Condoms? Why do you have condoms in there?"

"I don't want you to get pregnant."

She giggled when she saw the horrified expression on my face and cupped it between her hands to plant a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I was just kidding. The condoms are just supposed to make it feel more…well…real, I guess."

"Hmm,"

I helped her to attach the black leather belt around her delicate hips. Hesitantly I wrapped my left hand around the purple colored dildo.

"Is the size okay? That was so difficult to choose for me."

"We won't find out, if we don't try."

"You're a little impatient today, aren't you?"

She kneeled between my parted legs and nudged the tip of the dildo over my slick folds, letting it slip deeper and deeper into my entrance with every move.

"Ali, please…stop torturing me."

Slowly she entered me and I felt my inner walls stretching around the silicon toy inside of me.

"Am I hurting you?" she asked me anxiously when she heard me inhale sharply between my teeth.

"No, you're not. It's just been a while since…,"

"Kay…but you'd tell me if I do something wrong?"

"Ali, this is not about right or wrong. It's about feeling. And no one ever made me feel the way you do."

Her hand moved down my stomach until she reached my clit with her fingertips.

Then she stated moving in and out of me in a slow rhythm, allowing me to get used to the unfamiliar feeling of having something inside of me that filled me completely.

"Better now?" she whispered into my ear and pulled a wisp of my hair behind it in a tender gesture.

"Yes," I croaked out hoarsely.

"Good," she mumbled and turned me around so that I was lying flat on my stomach now. Her hands grabbed my hips and pulled them up until I was kneeling on all fourth in front of her.

"No, Ali…I can't do that like this. I look like crap from this angle."

I had always had a slight aversion against this position. It showed of way too much of my fat ass for my taste and that made me feel uncomfortable.

_I like that you're so curvy…_

"No you don't, trust me,"

She leaned over and planted soft kisses up my bare back until she reached my neck.

"Bella, I want you to forget to think about the way you look. Let me love you like this…let me make you feel good, my darling. Will you?"

"Yes."

She entered me in one quick movement and I gasped out in pleasure when she reached spots inside of me that had never been touched before.

Faster and faster she thrust into me, until our entire bodies were covered in a thin layer of sweat. I was so close, so damn close…

My fingertips found my clit and circled over the throbbing pearl that ached for release.

"Yes, like that, Bella. Make yourself come for me..." God, what it did to me when she said things like that…

My second orgasm made my entire body shake and I gasped for air while colors flashed in front of my eyes that I had no name for. Ali collapsed on top of me and several low moans left her lips when she finally pulled the dildo out of me again.

She rested her head against my neck and planted a kiss on my earlobe.

"How much I love you."

I turned my head to the side so that I was able to look at her again.

"How much I love you…more than words can say."

"More than my own life," she whispered before both of us drifted into sleep with our arms wrapped around each other.

**XXXX**

"She honestly asked you why we kiss, seriously?" the amused tone in her voice was not to miss.

"I don't think that's funny, Ali." I stated and poured us a cup of coffee.

"Oh yes it is. I bet your face went all red when it happened. And you know how much I like that pretty blush on your cheeks."

"You're impossible. Can't you see how embarrassing that was for me?"

"No, I can't. What did you tell Lilly?"

"That she would understand it when she's older."

"Let me guess. She wasn't content with that answer."

I nodded my head and nibbled on the piece of toast in front of me.

"Don't worry she'll soon lose interest in it. I knew I did…"

I raised one eyebrow.

"You lost interest?"

"Yeah, I did. When Rosalie had her first boyfriend I think that was some baby-faced loser called Royce, I used to ask her questions like that too. Why she would let him stick his tongue down her throat and everything. I guess I was a little pain in the ass back then."

"I'm sure you were cute. I'd really like to see you with the plastic wings on your back that you mentioned."

Now she seemed embarrassed and that put a smile on my face.

"My mom has pictures of it. You see, I was the pet of the family and they had to make a big drama out of everything that had to do with me."

"They love you. I hope that won't change when they find out about…well about us."

She leaned over and reached her hand out to touch my mouth with her forefinger.

"You have some honey on your lips." She murmured and licked the honey colored liquid up from her hand.

"It's still there. I might have to use my own mouth to clean you up."

"Yes, please."

A low chuckle left her throat and then she cupped my face between her hands to kiss my mouth. The tip of her tongue caressed my upper lip before she sucked it between her teeth.

"Tell me what you want to do." I whispered as she sat down on my lap.

"Right now?" she asked me and twisted a small wisp of my hair around her dainty fingers.

"No, not right now, Ali. I want to know what you want to do in general."

She planted a soft kiss on the tip of my nose.

"I want to kiss you…very often. And I want to hold you in my arms every night before I sleep."

I kissed her again, letting my tongue slip between her slightly parted lips for a moment.

"And apart from us? What do you want to do?"

"I want to make dresses for a lot of important people that could wear them to even more important occasions." Her caramel eyes sparkled as she spoke.

"And I'd like to have my own little boutique. My sister offered to help me buy one but I really feel like I should do that without her."

"It would be far easier for you to reach your goals if you hadn't met me. I'm like a burden…,"

Her eyes narrowed for a moment. Slowly she reached out her hand and touched the amber heart on my silver necklace.

"You are not a burden to me, Bella. I don't want any of my dreams if I can't have them with you by my side. And I know that it's difficult for you too, but we can make this work, if we'll try."

Make it work, work…damn it. I knew that I'd almost forget about it.

"I need to get a job as soon as possible. And that won't be too easy considering the fact that I haven't worked at all since Lilly was born."

"Taking care of Lilly is work, Bella. What did you do before you had her?"

"I had a job in a bookshop that I really loved but Edward thought that it would be inappropriate for the wife of a lawyer to work at all."

"Well, you're not longer the wife of a lawyer. And if you'd like to work in a bookshop you should do that."

"And Lilly? I can't take her with me when I work. And unlike my soon-to-be ex-husband, I can't afford to hire a nanny."

"You don't need to do that. I can do most of the sketches and other stuff at home."

"She'll distract you."

"Then I'll find a way to distract her from distracting me." She chuckled slightly.

"Good luck with that." I mumbled and put the empty plates into the dishwasher.

The doorbell rang and Ali stood up to open the door. I could hear Fido barking in the hall and a moment later my blonde-haired sister in law rushed into the kitchen. To my surprise she didn't wear any make up and her hair was twisted into a messy bun in her neck.

"You!" she snarled at me and her voice sounded so angry that I automatically too two steps backwards.

"And you!" She turned to her pixie-like sister and her blue eyes narrowed into tiny slits.

"Owe me an explanation..."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] I know, I know…that was an evil cliffy, but sometimes they are inevitable.


	22. Chapter 22

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks to those of you who keep reading & reviewing. It's you that make me keep writing this story.

** It's impossible to please everyone and if you're not comfortable with the amount of corniness in my story… no one forces you to stay. I never claimed that this would be realistic. **

This chapter is dedicated to **Silvi86**; your review was really lovely and motivated me a lot. So thanks a lot for it.

****Chapter 22****

_Ali's POV_

"I don't know what you're talking about." Bella stumbled out, her voice raising two octaves in an attempt to suppress the tremble in it.

She couldn't tell a lie, another proof that she wasn't a born Cullen.

"I think that the two of you know exactly what I'm talking about." My sister stated and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Lilly asked me why the two of you kiss each other."

Bella inhaled sharply between her teeth and her face blushed into a bright crimson red.

"It's none of your business." I croaked out while I tried to calm myself down by taking several deep breaths through my nose. My heartbeat quickened so much that it was almost painful and the unpleasant dizziness that always came with it made the world around me blur for a moment.

"Ali, as much as it pisses you off; you are my business. Why the hell did you do something so stupid?"

"It's not her fault, it's mine." Bella whispered, while tears started falling down her cheeks.

I put one hand on her shoulder while the blue eyes of my older sister narrowed into tiny angry slits.

Maybe she would stop doing that if I told her that it caused wrinkles? No, that wouldn't be smart right now…

"Bella, that's not true. I was the one who…seduced you."

"I honestly don't give a shit which of you seduced the other one! Damn it, this is so wrong!"

"Auntie Rosie, are you angry?" Lilly asked her as she entered the kitchen, her hand wrapped around the leather leash.

"No honey, I'm not. Why didn't you stay outside to play with Fido, like I told you to?"

"He's still hungry and I've already fed him all the biscuits you gave me for him."

She sighed deeply and pulled a small plastic box out of her handbag.

"Dogs are always hungry, sweetie. If you give him too much food he'll get sick."

Lilly nodded her head and turned to her mother, who was biting her lower lip nervously.

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

"It's nothing, sweetie." God, she couldn't even lie convincingly to a four-year old…

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Would you let me speak to my sister alone for a moment?"

Hesitantly she stood up from the kitchen chair, her hands trembling slightly.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, I am. You look like you could need some fresh air right now."

She nodded her head and walked out into the small garden behind her house.

As soon as she and the copper-haired girl that looked like a miniature edition of our mother were out of sight a low sigh left my sisters throat.

"Ali, how could you do something so stupid? Our sister-in-law? Of all the women you could have chosen to have an affair with, it had to be her?"

"Don't you think that I know that it's wrong?" I croaked out while the sharp pain in my chest increased suddenly.

"Then why?"

"I didn't know that she was Edward's wife when I met her the first time." And it wouldn't have made a difference if I had, I added in my head.

"You should have stopped when you found out." She stated and started playing with the silver bracelet on her right wrist.

"I couldn't."

She raised one eyebrow.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?"

I nodded my head and felt the tears starting to burn in the corners of my eyes.

"Does she know?" she asked me, her voice not as harsh and bitter as it had been moments before.

"Yes she does. She feels the same way about me."

"Oh Tinker-Ali, you can't even fall in love without causing a drama…,"

"Yeah, I know. There must be a reason why I'm the black sheep of the perfect Cullen family." A low sob left my throat and a painful heartbeat later I tasted the salty liquid of fresh tears on my lips.

"Ali…,"

Slowly she kneeled down next to me and wrapped one arm around my shoulder.

"Please don't cry. You know that I can't see that. It makes me feel awkward."

"Mom and Dad will never speak to me again, if they find out." I croaked out hoarsely.

"Of course, they will. You don't have to worry about that. No matter what you'll do, they won't stop loving you."

"I don't think this is comparable to cutting out the flowers on Moms Dior evening dress."

She chuckled slightly.

"You were so scared to tell her and you begged me to buy her a similar one at Gap, like she wouldn't notice the difference…"

"Yeah, I remember. You didn't do it, did you? Instead you told Mom that it had been your fault, because you left me alone to play in the house while you went shopping with Vera. She grounded you for an entire month…,"

"And she gave me a very long speech about responsibility on each single day of it."

"I'm sorry about that, Rose."

She twisted her hand into my short hair and planted a kiss on my forehead.

"No big deal. Our parents spent so much time with you in the hospital…that gave me enough time to sneak out of the house now and then."

"Hmm,"

I wondered how much my health condition had affected the life of my family. Wasn't it ironical that the daughter of a cardiologist had been born with a cardiac defect?

Thoughtlessly I placed my hand over my chest and tried to focus on the rugged beating underneath my hand. Damn it, why didn't it slow down?

"Ali?"

"Yes, Rose?"

"You were scared to tell me about you and Bella weren't you?"

"Of course I was. I know that you wouldn't understand it. None of you would…,"

"It's not necessary to understand it. Ali, I've already told you that I want nothing more than to see happy. And I don't think she's good for you. Bella and you…that's like fire and ice. You broke up with Jasmine because she was too conservative for you and now you want to be with someone as boring as Bella?"

"She's not boring…and she's not fat. Her self-esteem is just so low since people like you treat her like crap because she doesn't look like a freaking Barbie copy."

"That's nothing compared to the fact that she's married to our brother."

"She won't be his wife for long anymore…so she and I are free to do whatever we want."

"And what about Lilly? The whole situation is so confusing for her."

"I'm sorry that she asked you about the kissing thing. She's so observing…,"

"Yes she is. That's normal for a girl her age. You were like that too when you were little."

A smile flashed over her pretty face as she stood up from the ground again.

"Will you tell Edward?"

"Maybe you should better tell him yourself."

"No way; he'll freak."

"Yep, he will. But if you plan on staying with Bella, it's inevitable."

She checked the time on her watch.

"I'll have to go now. Em is already waiting for me in the hospital."

**XXXX**

My brother and I always had a slightly tensed relationship and I often wondered why he was so cold to me when I was a little girl. Rosalie told me that it had to do with the fact that I took away a lot of my father's attention from him when I was born. I was the unexpected latecomer that had forced him into the role of the middle child.

They sent him to boarding school when he was fourteen and the few weeks he was at home he mostly spend playing on the piano in the living room. He never told me that it was my fault that Dad wouldn't allow him to finish High School in Seattle, but the hateful looks that he threw at me from time to time were enough proof for me.

Then Mom suggested that I could live at his house, after moving back from Europe and I couldn't believe her when she told me that he had agreed to it. Then I realized that he would do anything to please our parents. If they wanted him to get along with me, he would. And he knew that he wouldn't be around too much anyway. Far too busy fucking his secretary in Alaska. God, how much I wished that he would stay there forever.

I sighed deeply and dialed the number of his office in Anchorage. My hands trembled slightly and I hoped that the unpleasant feeling in my chest wouldn't get worse.

"Cullen."

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up.

"Edward it's me."

"Mary Alice?"

"Yep…are you busy right because you need to sue people or have you time to talk to me?"

He chuckled into the receiver.

"I'm always busy but you'd understand that better if you had a proper job."

Charming as always…

"It won't take long. I want to talk to you about Bella."

"Bella? Mary Alice…why in heaven's name do you want to talk about my wife?"

Then he sighed deeply.

"Look, I've already had that conversation with Rosalie."

I highly doubt that you had _that _conversation with our older sister before.

"You had?" I croaked out, cursing myself for the embarrassingly high frequency my voice reached.

"Yeah, I had. God, all this hormone crap they're injecting her is turning her into a fury. She yelled at me and told me what a bad husband I am."

"She's not exactly wrong about it, is she? How could you cheat on Bella with this strawberry-haired bitch?"

"Jeez, that didn't mean anything. It was just sex, nothing more."

"And the fact that she threatened your child, what do you say to that?"

"Tanya didn't threaten Lilly. You don't know my daughter. Lilly has too much imagination."

And you think that you do? You're never around…

"Fine, but you should make sure that she stays away from her anyway."

"Just for the record, I've fired her. Not because I believe any of the crap you accused her of, but because she was a lousy secretary."

"And now?"

"And now I have to find a new one as soon as possible. I'll be flying back to Seattle tomorrow to meet with a few that the agency suggested."

"You'll come here?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"I'm not. It's just…well, how long will you stay here?"

"Until Lilly's birthday…it won't help me to get custody for her if I can't even make it home for her birthday."

"Edward, can't you see that this full custody thing is bullshit? You can't take her away from her mother."

"Listen, this is none of your business. Lilly is my own flesh and blood and I won't risk her being taken away from me."

"She's Bella's child just as much as she's yours. And she's the one who has taken care of her for the last four years."

"Yeah, I know. Bella is a good mother…but she and I…well that was never really meant to be. I need a wife that can represent on my side. She doesn't really belong in my world, she never did."

"Edward, there is only one kind of world."

"Oh Mary Alice, you're still a child."

"No, I'm not. I'm just not as narrow-minded as you are."

"Hey, I'm not some superficial asshole. If I were I would have left Bella a very long time ago, but I didn't."

"And now she left you."

"Yes, she did. But I wasn't joking when I told you that she's instable. It wouldn't take me much to win her back. She's emotionally so ravenous that any guy could make her fall for him."

"That's not true."

"Sure it is. You don't know her like I do."

God, if you knew how well I knew her…

"Can I ask you for something?"

"Depends on what you want, Mary Alice."

"When I tell you something will you manage to stay calm or will you flip? I really hate it when you yell."

"I'll try not to. Now come on, spit it out. I really don't have a lot of time to speak right now."

I cleared my throat but when I wanted to speak up again my mouth was too dry to bring out any words.

"Mary Alice?"

God, I couldn't do that. Not on the phone. What kind of a stupid idea had it been to call him?

My knees felt like yell-o and it seemed impossible to remain standing; so I sat down on the floor while the pain in my chest knocked the breath out of me for a moment.

The cell slipped through my trembling fingers and I could hear my brother calling my name again somewhere in the distance before everything around me vanished into darkness.


	23. Chapter 23

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I deeply apologize for the cliffy at the end of the last chapter. Hope the fast update makes up for it a bit. I know that it's short, but better a short chapter than none at all…

Thanks and hugs to all of you who keep reading and reviewing. It's because of you that I keep writing this story.

This one is dedicated to** Villemo79** and **beelotus** because they liked the relationship between Rosalie and Ali in the last chapter.

****Chapter 23****

"Ali? Ali, please say something…," My voice sounded hysterical, almost panicked. What the hell should I do now? Her face was white as a ghost and her lips had an unhealthy bluish color.

"Ali, please don't do that to me. Wake up, honey."

A low whimper left her throat and then she blinked into the light of the kitchen lamp above us.

"Bella?"

"Oh thanks god, you're awake. Are you okay? Do you need anything? Water…or a doctor maybe? Do you want me to call Carlisle for you?"

"No!" she called out and tried to raise her head from my lap.

"Don't move." I whispered and caressed her forehead with my fingertips.

"I think that you might have hurt your head on the hard kitchen floor when you fainted."

"Please, don't call my father. He's going to make an unnecessary drama out of it."

"Kay,"

I helped her to sit up and wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry about this." She mumbled towards the floor.

"You're apologizing for fainting?" I asked her in disbelief.

"No…just for scaring you. I guess it was just my stupid heart."

"Your heart? What's wrong with your heart?" My voice raised two octaves.

"Nothing," she croaked out, obviously embarrassed. There was a slight hint of defiance in her voice that I had never heard before.

"…well I was just feeling dizzy."

"Is it better now?" I wanted to know and started rubbing her back in small circles.

She placed one hand on her chest, as if she somehow could find the answer of my question in there.

"Yeah, it is. Can you help me to stand up now?"

I nodded my head and put my other arm around her dainty waist to help her up again.

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment before she rested her head against my shoulder.

"Still feeling dizzy?"

"Only a little bit, but I think sitting is better than standing. God, this is so embarrassing."

I wondered if I would technically be able to carry her if it would be necessary, as we walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.

"You don't have to be embarrassed for being sick."

"I am not sick." She stated, emphasizing each single word.

I chuckled slightly and pulled her closer to me, letting my hand stroke up and down her side.

"What's so funny about that?"

"You sound just like Lilly when she's sick. I think that's cute."

"I am not…,"

"Shhh," I murmured against her mouth before I planted a soft kiss on it. The tip of my tongue nudged against her lower lip that felt like velvet underneath it. Much too soon for my liking she pulled back and sighed deeply.

"I'm really sorry that I scared you so much."

"Ali…,"

She cuddled against my body and twisted a wisp of my hair around her fingers.

"He's coming here." She whispered so low that I could barely hear her.

"Who is coming?"

"Edward. I called him to tell him…well you can guess why I did it. And then he told me that he's coming back to Seattle because he needs to find another secretary."

"He fired the bitch?" I croaked out.

She nodded her head.

"That's a good thing, but it's not going to change anything between me and him."

"Yeah, I know." She mumbled and then a desperate sob escaped her mouth.

Her entire body started trembling in my arms and I rocked her back and forth in an attempt to calm her down again.

"Don't be afraid. Everything will be okay." I told her and wiped away a few tears from her pale cheeks.

"No, it won't. He's going to freak and my parents will be so angry at me when they'll find out."

"I'm surprised that your bitchy sister didn't call Edward right after she found out."

"She thinks that I should tell him myself; that it's inevitable to let him know about us, if I'm planning on staying with you."

"I love you." I whispered and cupped her beautiful face between my hands. Her sweet breathe tickled my mouth before I planted a soft kiss on her full lips. Slowly she let the tip of her tongue slip between my slightly parted lips and I moaned into her mouth when she nudged it against my tongue.

"I love you too, Bella." She mumbled, when I finally pulled back.

"We can tell him together, if you want to." I suggested and started drawing circles all over her wrist.

She nodded her head and I realized that her face was still a lot paler than usual.

"You're still feeling dizzy, aren't you?"

"Yes, I do…but it'll go away. Don't worry about it."

"Ali, would you tell me not to worry if Lilly were sick?"

XXXX

I had never experienced an adult person throwing such a fit when it came to seeing a doctor.

"Bella, this is absolutely unnecessary." She stated as I parked the car in the parking lot of the hospital.

"Stop being so stubborn, Ali. It won't take long. I just want them to check on you."

She chuckled bitterly and mumbled something that was too low for me to understand it.

"Auntie Ali, are you sick?" Lilly asked from the backseat.

"No, honey, I'm not. Your mommy just likes trips to the hospital."

The nurse at the front desk raised one eyebrow when we entered the waiting hall.

"You're Dr. Cullen's daughter, aren't you? I'm sorry but your father is preparing for a surgery right now."

To my immense surprise Ali looked relieved.

"Do you want me to page him for you?"

"No…no, that's not necessary. I'm just here because my…," she seemed to hesitate because she didn't know how she should refer to me in public.

"…because my friend here forced me to come here."

"What made her do that?"

I cleared my throat nervously.

"She fainted…and she feels dizzy."

"Maybe she just didn't drink enough water?"

"Yeah, probably…See, Bella. I told you that it was completely unnecessary to come here. Can we just go home now?"

"Grandpa!" Lilly called out cheerfully as she captured the green clothed figure at the other side of the corridor.

"Crap." Ali whispered and let go of my hand that she had been holding the entire time.

He lifted Lilly up and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"What are you doing here, sweetie?"

"Mommy made Auntie Ali come here because she likes trips to the hospital." My daughter stated frankly and pulled on the mask that was hanging loosely around his neck.

"Grandpa, can I have that?"

"Sweetie, that's not a toy." He told her and sat her down on the ground again.

Then his eyes met mine and he walked over to us. Ali crossed her arms in front of her chest and sighed deeply.

"Mary Alice…Bella, what are you doing here?"

"Hi Dad," she greeted him halfheartedly. "Shouldn't you be in surgery right now?"

"It was cancelled. What are you doing here with Lilly? She's not sick or anything? Rosalie told me that you made her see the cancer-shrink…ahm I mean Miss Whitlock."

"They are here because your daughter fainted." The nurse explained and continued writing notes in medical records.

"What? And you still sit here like a complete moron and do nothing!" he snarled at the poor woman who jumped up from her chair so fast that it dropped to the floor.

"I'm so sorry Dr. Cullen but it didn't seem that serious to me."

"It didn't seem that serious to you! Are you fucking stupid?" Jeez, my father-in-law was scary when he was angry.

"Dad, please stop yelling at her. It's not her fault."

"Don't tell me how to talk to my nurses. Her behavior was completely unprofessional."

He wrapped two fingers around Ali's wrist to check her pulse. Damn it, why didn't I think of doing something like that when I found her.

"I'm paging Dr. Bennett to let him do an ECG on you. Maybe I should have let him do one when you came here the last time."

An ECG, why the hell would she need an ECG? Hadn't the nurse told us that it probably happened because she was dehydrated?

"See, Bella. That's exactly why I didn't want to go to the hospital. I've told you that he would overreact."

"She was right to bring you here. Jeez, Mary Alice, why do you always have to be so unreasonable about your health?" He sounded a lot sadder than angry now and there was a worry in his voice that made me feel awkward.

"I'm not unreasonable, Dad." She croaked out, her voice trembling from the tears she was trying to fight back.

"And I don't need the stupid ECG. You wouldn't force Rosalie or Edward to do one if they had passed out."

"Mary Alice, that's something completely different and you know why."

**XXXX**

I put a curl of her short hair behind her ear and stroked down her cheekbone with my fingertips.

"Why didn't you tell me, that there's something wrong with your heart?" I whispered and wrapped my arms around her.

"Because I didn't want you to treat me as if I was a fragile porcelain doll; it has been like that almost my entire childhood and I hated it so much."

Her caramel eyes looked glassy and when she closed them tiny teardrops sparkled in her dark eyelashes.

"Please don't cry." I mumbled and planted soft kisses all over her face.

"I promise not to treat you differently, but you have to promise me that you won't scare me again like you did today."

"It won't happen again. My father talked Dr. Bennett into giving me so much medication that my stupid heart won't make trouble anymore."

"Don't call it stupid. I love your heart." I mumbled and took her cold hand in mine to squeeze it gently. Then I put it to my lips and planted featherlike kisses on each of her knuckles.

"Dr. Bennett also told you that you shouldn't get too agitated..."

"Yeah, he did. I'll try to remember about that when we're going to tell my brother that I've stolen his wife away from him."

"Ali…you didn't steal me away from him. And I really think that we should wait to tell him, at least until…,"

She raised one eyebrow.

"See? That's what I meant. You're already starting to treat me as if I'm breakable."

"No, I'm not. I'm just trying to protect you. We will tell him after Lilly's birthday, I promise."

"Aren't you scared?"

"I thought that I would be…but today I found out that there is something that I fear a lot more than his anger."

"And that is?"

"Losing you..."

XOXOXOXOXOX

[A/N] Guess who's going to show up in the next chapter? Yeah, you're right it's Cheat-ward. Can you imagine him and our lovely couple under the same roof? That practically smells like trouble…


	24. Chapter 24

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hi to all my lovely readers out there. Thanks and hugs to all of you who keep reading and reviewing. Your feedback encourages me a lot. Without you all my ideas would probably stay in my head and would never be written down.

This one is dedicated to **DeeJee** and **Angelic lui**. I hope you'll like the chapter.

****Chapter 24****

"Daddy! You're home again!" Lilly called out and wrapped her arms around him. His lips twitched into a crooked smile as he kneeled down in front of our daughter to plant a kiss on her forehead.

"Did you bring a present for me from Alaska?" she asked him and he handed her the stuffed animal he had been hiding behind his back.

"An ice-bear…it looks like a real ice-bear. Thank you, Daddy."

"You're welcome, sweetie. I'm happy that you like it."

Slowly he stood up from the ground again and cleared his throat nervously.

"Hello Bella."

"Hi, Edward, how are you?" I greeted him halfheartedly and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"I'm a little bit tired from the flight, but apart from that I'm fine. Have you changed your mind about your stupid divorce plans?"

I shook my head and he frowned.

"Oh Bella, you can't be serious about that…,"

"Of course I'm serious. We can't go on like that."

"Look, I'm really sorry about the whole Tanya issue. I've fired her."

"Yeah, I know, Edward, but it doesn't change anything."

Slowly he raised his hand to put a wisp of my hair behind my ear. Automatically I took two steps backwards.

"Oh come on, don't be like that, Bella." His voice was warm and smooth like velvet as he closed the distance between us. When he leaned forward to kiss my mouth, I instantly stopped breathing.

"Don't touch her!" Ali snarled at him as she entered the living room.

He turned to his pixie-like sister and his emerald eyes narrowed, making him look like a snake ready to attack the rabbit.

"Excuse me? You're not honestly telling me to keep my hands off of my wife, are you?"

"Oh yes I am. She's told you that she wants a divorce. Can't you just leave her alone?"

"Mary Alice, whatever is going on between me and her is none of your damn business!"

"Daddy, are you angry at Auntie Ali?" Lilly asked him and started biting her fingernails nervously.

"No, I'm not, honey."

"But why are you yelling at her?"

He took a deep breath to calm himself down again.

"Lilly, go to your room. I need to talk to your mother and your aunt alone."

"No, I want to stay here with you." She stated sullenly.

"Lilly, I'm serious. Go to your room now!"

A low sob left her throat and then she burst out into tears.

"Are you happy now? You made her cry." I mumbled and lifted her up in my arms to comfort her.

"Shhh, honey, everything is okay." And everything is messed up, I added bitterly in my head.

"She's such a stubborn person and that's completely your fault Bella, because you've spoilt her too much."

"Pardon me? You're the one who keeps sending her tons of toys each time you're away."

"That's not what I meant, Bella. You give into all of her moods and that's just not right."

"Her moods? Let me tell you something Mr. Cul-len…," I made his name two syllables. "You know nothing about her moods. If you did, you would know that it scares her when someone yells at her. But you…you know nothing about what she likes or dislikes or what she's afraid of."

"Don't bring up this witch crap again. Lilly has too much imagination. I'm sure she made the whole thing up because she knows that you can't stand Tanya."

Lilly raised her head from my shoulder and sniffed.

"Daddy, doesn't believe me that the witch will come here to hurt me, does he?"

I shook my head and pulled out a tissue to clean her nose.

"Blow, sweetie."

"Of course he believes you." I assured her, my voice sounding cold as ice. God, why was it so difficult for me to lie?

"And just for your information, Edward…I let Emmett change the lock for me."

He rolled his eyes at that.

"I wished he had taken my sister to stay with him and Rosalie. You and I really need some time alone to speak in private."

Ali's eyes met mine and a wave of panic seemed to flash through hers. Or was it my own that reflected in the light caramel color of her iris?

"I don't think so Edward. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say it in front of her."

He raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"You want to discuss our marriage problems in front of my sister? God, Bella…you're truly losing it now."

"No, I'm not. Right now, I can see clearer than I ever did."

"Fine, so you want a divorce. Are you sure about that?"

I nodded my head.

"And where are you planning on living? Because you definitely won't stay here in my house…,"

"Your house? Have you forgotten that the house technically belongs to both of us? It was a wedding gift from your parents."

"No, I haven't forgotten that, Bella. But I don't think that you can afford to buy the other half of it, so I guess it would be best if we'd sell the damn thing."

"I don't want to sell the house."

"And I don't want a divorce. Just for the record. You're the one who doesn't want to stay married, so you'll better get used to the consequences."

"Edward, stop acting like a complete ass…,"

"Damn it, Mary Alice, just shut up. I've already told you…this is none of your business!"

"Stop yelling at her. She's just trying to help me." I told him while I sat down on the edge of a leather armchair with Lilly on my lap.

Ali sat down on the couch next to us and sighed deeply. Hesitantly she put one hand on her chest and closed her eyes for a moment.

"I don't want to fight with you, Edward."

"That's good to hear, Mary Alice…especially since you have no reason to be mad at me."

"Oh yes, I have. Bella is my…well my friend, I care about her."

"And she's my wife. Don't you think that you should support me when I'm trying to save my marriage?"

"Saving our marriage?" My voice raised two octaves, making it reach an almost hysterically sounding frequency.

"Is that a joke? You've been barely around the last three years and I don't want to know whom you've fucked behind my back apart from that strawberry-haired whore…,"

"It didn't mean a thing to me. That was just…well just physical."

"Edward, that doesn't change anything for me. I don't want to stay married to you."

"Fine, if that's what you want. I've already told you that I'm getting full custody for Lilly if you get through with this ridiculous none sense."

Instantly I pulled Lilly closer to me, as if to make sure that she would stay right where she was.

"You can't threaten me with this custody crap, Edward. I won't let you take Lilly away from me. A child belongs to the mother."

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and sighed deeply.

"Sometimes the biological mother isn't the best to take care of a child."

Ali's eyes narrowed for a moment before she spoke up again.

"You're not trying to tell her that she's a bad mother, are you?"

"Ali, calm down. He's just trying to provoke me." I mumbled and swallowed hard to fight back the tears.

The shrill sound of the doorbell made me almost jump from my seat. Quickly I stood up to open the door.

The russet colored dog of my sister in law whined when I petted the huge head with my fingertips.

"Hi Rosalie,"

"I thought that you and Ali might need some help dealing with our brother." She whispered into my ear and I nodded my head.

"We haven't told him yet. I thought that it would be good to wait until Lilly's birthday is over."

"Hmm,"

We walked back into the living room and a deep growl left the snout of the dog as soon as he saw Edward.

"Fido, sit!" Rosalie instructed and pulled on the leather leash to hold him back.

"Sit!"

"God, Rosalie, why do have to bring this awful mutt with you? He's probably full of fleas."

"Fido has no fleas. I bathed him with my strawberry shampoo." Lilly told him and pulled a few biscuit crumble out of her pocket to feed them to the dog.

"Lilly, don't do that. He might bite you, sweetie." He warned her, but she shook her head.

"Fido is my best friend. He would never bite me."

"Lilly, he's not your friend. He's just an animal and animals have no control…,"

"God, Edward, just because you're scared of dogs doesn't mean she has to be too." Rosalie murmured and sat down next to Ali.

"Down!" she instructed and the dog obeyed her order immediately.

"I'm not afraid of dogs," he stated exasperated. "But this monster is ill-natured."

Fido raised his head and bared his teeth at him.

"See, that's what I meant, Rosalie. The mutt is dangerous to public safety."

"No, he's not. I don't know why he's like this when you're around. Just try to ignore him."

"It's hard to ignore a calf-sized dog that looks as if he wants to rip your throat out." He murmured anxiously.

Rosalie rolled her eyes at that and turned to her sister.

"How's your heart? Are you feeling better today?"

"Dad told you?" Ali sounded completely embarrassed now.

"Technically he only told mom…and she told me."

"Great, just great…"

"Ali, they're just worried about you."

"That's completely unnecessary. My stupid heart is fine. I just shouldn't try to run a marathon with it."

Rosalie put one arm around her sister's dainty shoulder.

"Okay. But you have to promise me not to do anything stupid. Mom was so hysterical when Dad told her that you fainted."

Edward shook his head.

"Mom has always made an unnecessary drama because of her congenital heart defect."

"Congenital? Shouldn't we let Lilly see a doctor too, just to make sure that she hasn't the same condition?"

Edward and Rosalie exchanged a panicked look that didn't make any sense to me.

"Bella I don't think that's necessary."

"I would prefer to have her checked, just to be sure."

"Lilly is healthy. You don't need to worry about that Bella." Edward assured me while he kept staring down on the ground.

"But if it's congenital, she might have it too."

"If she were sick, we would have found out a long time ago." Rosalie stated and a forced smile flashed over her pretty face.

"Yeah, I guess we had. It's just…well Ali is her aunt. If she has a heart condition, it would be possible that Lilly has something like that too."

"Bella, I've told you not to worry." He sounded almost impatient now and that surprised me.

Rosalie cleared her throat and pretended to search for something in her handbag.

"Lilly, honey, would you do me a favor and let Fido out in the garden for me?"

"Can I play with him?"

Edward nearly choked when she nudged her forehead against his gigantic snout.

"Of course you can, sweetie."

"Come with me, Fido!" she told him and wrapped the leather leash around her tiny hands.

As soon as she was out of the room Rosalie spoke up again.

"Have you already told her about the divorce?"

"No, we haven't. She's too small to understand it." I whispered worriedly.

"And when are you planning on telling her? When she's finished High school?"

"Rosalie, that's none of your business. She's not your daughter." Edward snarled at her.

"Bella might change her mind again. So we wait until she's sure about what she wants."

"Edward, for the last time now, I am sure about the divorce."

"You'll regret that. And you'll be crawling back to me sooner than you think you will. I won't let you see Lilly ever again…"

"Stop threatening her like that, that's not fair. She's still Lilly's mother."

Edward stood up from the chair and walked over to the window.

Then he inhaled sharply through his teeth.

"I can't believe that you're on her side. Weren't you the one who tried to convince me not to marry her over and over again?"

"I'm not on her side, Edward. I'm on Lilly's side. You just want custody for her to hurt Bella, but you're not thinking one fucking second about what's best for your daughter. You're such a selfish prick, it's unbelievable…"

"Fido, stay here!" I heard Lilly yell from the backyard before the dog rushed back into the living room.

Edward landed flat on his back while the dog growled above him; his fangs dangerously close to his jugular.

"Rosalie, get that stupid mutt off of me before I press charges and force you to get a muzzle for him!"

"I don't know why he's like that today. Normally he's as meek as a lamb."

She pulled on his metal collar to get him off of Edward again.

"You're a bad dog. You've scared Edward almost to death…," She murmured reproachfully, but her voice sounded unusually amused.

"Where are you planning on staying tonight?" Ali asked him nervously.

"Here of course. This is still my house, in case you have forgotten it."

I stood up from the sofa again and took a deep breathe.

"You're not expecting me to sleep in the same room with you, are you?" I stated, trying to make my voice sound hard, but it almost cracked at the end.

"Bella, you're so ridiculous…but if it makes you happy I can sleep in the guestroom."

"And Ali?"

"Jeez, she can stay with Rosalie and Emmett for a few days. Or at our parents' house, I honestly don't care. I don't have the nerves to deal with that right now."

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes for a moment, hoping that I would somehow find a good excuse why she needed to stay here with me…


	25. Chapter 25

[Disclaimer] All things Twilights belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hi everyone. This chapter was difficult for me to write and I hope that I didn't mess up. Cheat-ward is starting to get on my nerves and that's weird because I'm the one who made him that way….

I would like to dedicate this one here to **aquarius127 **and **SOfisticated1**. Your reviews were really helpful, so thanks a lot for them.

****Chapter 25****

"Edward, I don't think that Ali should move right now. That might be too much stress for her heart, don't you think?"

"Hmm,"

"She can sleep in our bedroom with me, if she doesn't mind." I stumbled out, trying to keep my voice sound casual, like it didn't matter at all.

"Oh, I wouldn't mind that, Bella." She answered cheerfully while her caramel eyes sparkled in different shades of gold.

Edward raised one eyebrow.

"Are you sure about that, Mary Alice? You have to know that Bella snores terribly."

Asshole, I thought, that's not even true or is it?

"And I sleep like I was dead. It won't disturb me when she snores…,"

"Fine, so you'll stay here, how wonderful…"

"How long will you be here? Didn't you tell me that you had to stay in Anchorage for longer?" I asked him and started braiding Lilly's hair absentmindly.

"I'll I have to fly back in a week. That will give me enough time to arrange all the paper stuff that is necessary for the divorce."

"That's good to hear."

"And just for your information; I'm serious about the full custody thing."

"No!" I called out and accidentally pulled too much on Lilly's copper hair.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry, sweetie…"

"I like it better when Auntie Ali braids my hair. She's much better at it than you and Auntie Rosie." She told me reproachfully and jumped from my lap.

"Yeah, I know, Lilly." I mumbled halfheartedly before I turned to her father again.

"Why should the court give you full custody for our daughter? As far as I know the custody normally always goes to the mother."

"And you have your juristic knowledge about that from where? Watching re-runs of LAW & ORDER or what?"

"Don't be mean to her, Edward. Just because she didn't went to some crappy law school like you did, doesn't mean she's stupid."

"Bella is actually right about the custody thing. You should be glad if she agrees to joint custody." Rosalie stated calmly and pulled out her cell to type a text.

"Rosalie, Mary Alice, both of you should keep your stupid mouths shut. Who gets or doesn't get custody for Lilly is none of your damn business."

"Would you please stop being so rude to your sisters, Edward."

"Don't tell me how to talk to anyone. All of this is your fault, Bella, because you're insisting on getting divorced."

I rolled my eyes at that and sighed deeply.

"Edward, I'm too tired to argue with you right now. Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

**XXXX**

Somehow it felt weird to me sleeping in the same bed with Alice while my hopefully, soon-to-be ex-husband stayed in the guestroom.

"Ali?" I whispered into her ear and hugged her tightly from behind.

"Hmm,"

"Are you okay?" I asked her and put one hand on her chest to feel her heart beating peacefully against my fingertips.

"Yes, I am. You don't have to worry about my heart. Like I said before, as long as I don't try to participate in any sports I'll be fine."

"That's not what I meant, Ali. I'm way more worried about the whole situation we're in right now."

Slowly she turned around and cupped my face between her dainty hands.

"Yeah, I know. I'm worried about that too, Bella. I don't want my brother to hurt you, because you're in love with me."

"And I don't want him to hurt you either. He was so rude to you and Rosalie today and he doesn't even know the true reason why I want to divorce him."

She leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on my trembling lips. I stiffened next to her and pulled back a split second later.

"I'm sorry, but I can't…," I croaked out and felt the tears starting to burn in my eyes.

"That's okay, Bella. I understand that you're not in the mood for _that_ right now. Can I just hold you?"

I nodded my head as she wiped away a few tears from my cheeks.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can. What do you want to know?"

"Do I really snore?"

A low chuckle left her throat.

"Yes, you do, like a drunken sailor." She stated.

"God, that's so embarrassing." My face blushed into a crimson red.

"No, it's not. I actually think it's cute, Bella."

Someone knocked at the door and we instantly pulled apart. Lilly's little head appeared in the doorframe.

"Mommy, can I sleep here with you and Auntie Ali tonight?" she asked me anxiously and walked into the room. Her tiny hands wrapped tightly around her teddy bear.

"Why don't you want to stay in your own room, Lilly?"

"Because I don't want to sleep alone there, Mommy..."

She sat down on the edge of the bed and starting biting her fingernails nervously.

"I'm scared that the evil witch will come back for me. What if Daddy has given her one of the new keys?"

"Honey, I'm pretty sure that your father didn't do that. You really don't have to be afraid of her anymore. Mommy won't let her hurt you."

I wrapped my arms around her and planted a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Mommy, are you and Daddy angry at each other?"

I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Yes, we are, Lilly, but that has nothing to do with you, sweetie. You don't have to worry about it." It's bad enough that I have to…

"But I don't want you and Daddy to fight."

"I know, honey. I'm sorry that we yelled so much in front of you. We shouldn't have done that."

I pulled her closer to me and started stroking her back comfortingly, until my eyes felt too heavy to keep them open.

**XXXX**

"Mom, you don't have to show Bella these embarrassing pictures." Ali stated and emptied the glass of water in front of her.

"I'm sure they're not that interesting for her and Lilly."

"Oh, Mary Alice, don't be like that." Esme told her youngest daughter and opened the photo album on her lap.

"See, Lilly that was your aunt when she was your age."

My eyes captured the face of the little girl that was framed with a curtain of long, ebony curls. It was a pretty face, but she looked much too fragile to be healthy. She seemed almost like a little bird that had fallen out of the nest to early.

"Auntie Ali, why do have wings on your back?" Lilly asked her curiously.

Esme chuckled softly and put a wisp of her granddaughter's copper hair that equaled her own so much behind her ear.

"I think, she thought that she was a pixie and could fly with them. It was so cute." She stated cheerfully.

"Awesome! Can I have some like that too, Grandma? I want to be able to fly too!"

"We can get you some wings for your birthday, sweetie."

Lilly smiled all over her face and I was glad that she was so cheerful today. I didn't want the discrepancies between me and her father to make her feel bad. I didn't want to be like Renee who constantly complained about my father in front of me when I was younger.

"Grandma, why does she have a plastic tube in her arm?"

Ali stood up from the sofa so quickly that it squeaked underneath her.

"Mom, please put the damn photo album away. Can't you see that this is embarrassing for me? I look like crap on some of these pictures."

"Mary Alice, you don't look like crap. You were sick back then. There is no need to be embarrassed about that."

"Yeah right, Mom. I would still prefer it, if you wouldn't show Bella the visible evidence of my heart condition. She was so worried that Lilly might have it too, when Edward told her that it's congenital."

Esme cringed slightly.

"Bella, you don't have to worry about that. If Lilly had the same…well, condition like Mary Alice you would have found out about it a long time ago."

"That's good to hear." I told her and pulled Lilly on my lap.

"I'm sorry about the divorce, Esme. I know how you think about that."

"Bella, you don't have to apologize to me. I just think that you should probably consider some family therapy before you go for the last step."

I shook my head and sighed deeply.

"Family therapy won't help me and Edward to solve our problems. We're just too different. He mainly lives for his career and then there's the fact that he had an affair with his secretary."

"I know, Bella, but can't you just try to see past that for Lilly's sake? She needs both of her parents in her life to be happy…"

"Esme, I don't know what Edward has told you so far, but he's the one who wants full custody for Lilly."

"Grandma, what's custody?"

"That's when a judge decides with whom you're going to live, sweetie."

"Am I not going to live with Mommy and Daddy at home anymore?"

"Of course, you're going to live at home with me, Lilly. But Mommy and Daddy won't live in the same house. So it probably means that you're going to have two homes in the future."

"Is he going to live with Uncle Emmett and Auntie Rosie?"

"Who is going to live with us?" Rosalie asked as she and Emmett entered the living room.

"Edward." Ali told them while she planted a kiss on her sister's cheek.

"Lilly obviously thinks that he could live with the two of you."

"Honey, you know that your father is terribly scared of Fido. He might not want to stay with us." Emmett told her and wrapped his arms around his blonde wife. Then he pulled her hair over her shoulder and whispered something into her ear that made her chuckle. I wondered why she was in such an excellent mood today; normally it wasn't that easy to make her laugh…

**XXXX**

"There is one thing that I really wanted to tell you the entire day," I mumbled into Ali's ear as I wrapped my arms around her delicate waist.

"You looked so damn cute with those wings on your back. I wished I could see you when you wear them. When you wear nothing but them…"

Slowly I pulled her closer and planted a soft kiss on her ruby tinted lips that felt like silk against mine.

Then almost too fast to understand what was happening at all her warm body was shoved off of me.

There was an awful cracking sound when she crashed against the bookshelf on the other side of the room.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here with my wife?" Edward croaked out, his voice sharp like a knife.

"Edward, please. This is not her fault."

Ali whimpered slightly as she stood up from the ground and placed her hand on her side. She choked loudly and small trails of blood trickled down her chin when she gasped for air.

I put one arm around her quivering shoulders.

"Damn it, Edward. You probably broke her ribs, you idiot."

"The little bastard should be glad that I didn't break her neck!" He growled angrily.

"Don't talk to her like that! God, I wished that you hadn't found out about it like that. I swear that we were going to tell you after Lilly's birthday."

"Tell me what?"

I took a deep breath before I spoke up again.

"That we love each other."

"You think that you're in love with her, Bella? Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"Edward, try to calm down. It won't help the situation if you lose it now."

"You disgusting little parasite, I wished they'd left you to rot in the gutter where they found you! I wished…,"

"What are you talking about?" I asked him in confusion, because his words, although they were clearly spoken out of anger, didn't make any sense to me.

Rosalie entered the room and inhaled sharply between her teeth when she saw the blood crusted mouth of her younger sister.

"What the hell did you do to her?" she snarled at Edward.

"What I did to her? What I did to her? How about asking what the little parasite did to me! She seduced my instable wife and made her all confused in the head so that Bella thinks she suddenly turned gay somehow!"

"Don't call her a parasite. What ever happened between her and Bella, it's not Ali's fault alone."

"I call her a parasite because that's exactly what she is, Rose…what she always has been…,"

"Edward, for heaven's sake, just shut up now before you say something stupid."

"Fuck you! Why are you still trying to protect the little bastard? Have you forgotten that I'm your brother?"

"And she's my sister! I won't let you hurt her like that."

"She destroyed my marriage! I don't give a shit what hurts the little parasite or not!"

"Lower your voice! Ali didn't destroy your marriage. You managed perfectly to do that without any help from the outside. So, for the last time now, shut up before you're going to say something that you will probably regret for the rest of your life!"

"Regret? Regret? There is only one thing that I do regret, Rosalie and that's allowing this sneaky little piece of shit to stay in my house so that the little bastard could seduce my wife!"

"You can't talk to our sister like that, Edward. Mom and Dad would be so ashamed if they could see you right now!"

"Our sister?" he chuckled sourly.

"Our sister? Damn it, Rose, you know just as well as I do that she's not our real sister!"

**XOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] So the truth(s) are out finally. If you want to read more, you should press the little review button down there to motivate me to continue writing.


	26. Chapter 26

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I was touched by the amazing feedback I received for the last chapter. You guys rock my little fanfic author heart more than you'll ever know. It's because of you that I keep writing this story.

This one is dedicated to **Flummie the turtle**. I hope your head is better today and yes, I wouldn't mind it if you'd tell me that you love my story after every chapter.

*to **katty** for liking the last chapter enough to leave a review, thanks so much for your kind words.

*to **queenred12** – we can't feed Cheat-ward's little…you-know-what-I-mean to Fido. The poor dog might get sick…

****Chapter 26****

"I'm not your…I'm not your real sister? I don't think I understand." Ali croaked out while she gasped for air and new drops of crimson colored blood landed on the wooden floor.

"You're not only a bastard. You're empty-headed as well!" Edward snarled at her.

"Shut up now! Damn it, Edward, we promised Mom and Dad that we would never…"

"I don't care what I promised them when I was eight! God, I wished the little bastard would just drop dead!"

She made two steps towards him and slapped him right across the face.

"How dare you say something like that? Have you totally lost your mind? Edward, I swear to god, the next time the dog attacks your sorry ass I won't hold him back!"

"You…don't need to…fight because of me." Ali mumbled so low that her voice was barely audible.

A moment later she collapsed on the ground as if she were a ragdoll. I kneeled down next to her and tried to help her up again but she cried out in pain. That was followed by another coughing fit.

"Ali? Tell, me what's wrong. Is it your heart again?"

Her lips turned bluish while she continued gasping for air hectically. Was this physical or was she having a panic attack or something like that?

"Ali, please talk to me!"

My eyes met Rosalie's and the worry in hers equaled my own.

"Call an ambulance or Carlisle!" I instructed while I pulled out a tissue to wipe away the blood from her mouth.

**XXXX**

Patience had never been my strong point and so I walked around in the waiting hall of the hospital like a nervous animal in a cage.

"Bella, sit down. There is nothing we can do right now but wait." Rosalie told me while she continued playing with the ends of Lilly's braids.

"Your hair looks so pretty, sweetie."

"Auntie Ali helped me to braid it." She explained to her and stood up from her lap.

"Yeah, I know, Lilly. I've showed her how to do that but now she's so much better at it than me." She tried to keep her voice calm but it almost cracked at the end.

I sat down next to Rosalie and sighed deeply.

"That's not a good sign that it takes so long, is it? God, we've been here for almost two hours now. How long can it take to fix a broken rib?"

"Stop saying things like that, Bella. She'll be alright. She needs to be alright." She croaked out before tears started falling down her beautiful face.

"Auntie Rosie, why are you crying?"

"It's nothing, sweetie. Your aunt is just being stupid."

Emmett rushed into the waiting hall and wrapped his arms around his sobbing wife.

"Oh god, Emmett, what will we do if Ali dies?"

He stroked her back comfortingly and rocked her back and forth in an attempt to calm her down again. After a few minutes she relaxed again and wiped her running nose on the sleeves of her silk blouse.

"What happened?"

"He caught us when Ali and I kissed." I croaked out and stared down on the grey linoleum underneath me.

"And he totally freaked."

"I knew that he wouldn't be too happy about your new sexual preferences."

"That's putting it mildly. God, I've never seen him act like that and it scared the living shit out of me."

"And then everything was too much for Ali's weak heart, I guess. Did she faint again?"

I shook my head.

"We're not here because of her heart, well not only because of it. Edward broke one of her ribs when he threw her against the bookshelf in our living room."

"He did what?" his voice raised two octaves and his brown eyes narrowed into tiny slits. Then he pulled out his cell. Rosalie grabbed her hand around his wrist to keep him from dialing.

"Whom do you want to call now?"

"Biers. He still owes me a favor and I think that a night in jail will teach your dipshit of a brother a lesson."

"Emmett, you can't let Riley arrest my brother!"

"Oh, yes, Rosie, I can and I will. You can't expect me to ignore this. Next time he loses control, it could be Lilly that he hurt."

"I don't think that he would ever do that, Emmett." I stumbled out anxiously.

"And I'm sure that he didn't want to break her ribs. It was an accident." Well, at least I hoped so.

A low growl left Emmett's throat.

"Bella, it doesn't matter, if he did it on purpose. He used physical violence against a woman who is almost four heads smaller than him. What kind of a man does something like that?"

**XXXX**

I gazed out of the window and realized that the grey sky had already turned pitch black.

Lilly had fallen asleep on my lap and Emmett had offered to take her home with him while Rose stayed with me in the hospital. God, this waiting was driving me insane…

"Which of you is Mrs. McCarthy?" A young doctor with short-cropped hair asked her as she entered the waiting hall.

Rosalie raised her hand that was trembling slightly.

"That's me."

"Hi, I'm Dr. Maggie Connor."

"Is my sister, okay?"

"No, she's not."

"Don't tell me that she's dead." Rose croaked out and crossed her arms in front of her chest to suppress the trembling that went through her entire body now.

"No, oh no, she's not dead. Three of her ribs were broken and one of the bone fragments injured her lung."

"And what about her heart?"

"That's the main reason why the whole surgery took so long; the medication that Dr. Bennett prescribed her makes her blood thinner, so she bleeds way more than usual. Actually, she lost so much blood that we had to give her a blood transfusion."

"Is she awake now?"

"Yes, she is. And I've also tried to reach your father, but he's not answering his pager."

"He and my mother are at a charity ball in Olympia tonight." She explained to the young doctor, who nodded her head.

"Can we see Ali now?" I asked her impatiently.

"You can, but try not to agitate her too much."

**XXXX**

"Bella, don't look at me. I look like crap."

I shook my head and forced my lips into a faked smile, while I tried to keep the tears from falling.

"You know, that you'll always look pretty to me, Ali." I mumbled and leaned down to plant a soft kiss on her forehead.

"You kiss me like I were your dying grandmother." A low chuckle left her throat before she coughed again.

Slowly I sat down on the edge of the small hospital bed.

"Don't say something like that. It's not fun. We've been worried sick about you." Rosalie told her and sat down on the plastic chair next to the bed.

Then she took Ali's hand in hers and squeezed it carefully.

"I'm sorry about that."

"You don't have to apologize to us, Ali." I whispered as I tasted something salty on my lips.

"Bella, please stop crying."

"I'm sorry, I can't. What happened today is completely my fault. I wished that Edward would have hit me instead of you. My ribs are pretty good protected from all my belly fat."

"Don't start about the weight loss crap again. I can't stand that."

Then she sighed deeply and turned her head to her sister.

"Who am I?"

"What do you mean?"

"Edward said that I'm not your real sister. Am I adopted?"

"Ali, please. Just forget what he told you. He just did that because he was furious. Can't we just go on like we did? It doesn't matter to me. I swear it never did."

"So, it's true?" her voice raised two octaves.

"Ali, you have to try to stay calm."

"Stop calling me that, Bella. I bet that Mary Alice, is not even my real name…,"

"Of course it's your real name. Well, it's the Americanized form of your original name."

"What was my real name?"

"The name your biological mother gave to you was Marija Alicia."

"What happened to her? Why didn't she want to keep me?"

Rosalie sighed deeply and started rubbing small circles over the back of Ali's hand.

"I can't really tell you very much about everything."

"Not much is a lot more than nothing. Didn't she want to keep me because I was so sick?"

"I don't know, Ali. You should probably better ask Carlisle these questions…,"

"I'm asking you. Tell me what you know about it."

"That's a long story and I don't know if I can get everything right."

"Try to. I really need to know."

"Okay, but you have to promise to stay calm, will you?"

"Have you ever heard of an organization called 'Doctors without Borders'?

She nodded her head

"Well, a few years ago Dad used to work for them in a small village in Romania for several months."

"I was born in Romania?"

"Yes, you were."

"And how did I end up here with Carlisle and Esme in Seattle?"

"That's…so…complicated."

"I guess it is."

A sick thought entered my mind and I almost didn't dare to bring it up at all.

"Wait…they didn't buy her or anything?" I asked Rose nervously.

"No, they didn't. Well, Carlisle might have given your _mother_," She almost choked at the word, "…some money but that was just because…"

"I don't care why he did it! How could he do something so awful? He bought me as if I was a piece of furniture or something like that."

The grey monitoring unit that was standing next to her bed made a shrill sound.

"Ali, please. You need to calm down. It's poison for your heart if you get too agitated."

"Your sister is right, honey."

"She's not my sister. None of them are my real family."

"Ali, of course, we're your family. God, I'm so sorry about the ugly things that Edward said to you. He had no right to do that."

"Where is he now?"

Rose cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"I think that he's probably in jail right now."

"He's in jail? Why?"

"Em called Riley Biers to have him arrested. He was so pissed at our brother and thought that a night in a cell might help to bring Edward back to his senses."

"I don't think so, Rose. He already hates me enough. Have you forgotten that he could lose his accreditation for this?"

"Stop worrying about that. He deserves some punishment."

A nurse opened the door and walked in to check Ali's pulse. Then she pulled an injection out of her pocket.

"What's that? I don't want any drugs. I'm already confused enough."

The nurse chuckled halfheartedly.

"That's just to help you sleep."

She turned to us and her voice sounded a lot less friendly when she spoke up again.

"Both of you should say good bye to her now. She needs to rest."

Rose leaned forward and kissed her pale cheek.

"Good night, Tinker-Ali."

"Rose, you know how much I hate it, when you…,"

"Yeah, I know. But you'll always be Tinker-Ali to me; just like you'll always be my sister."

"Bye, Ali." I mumbled and put a curl of her short hair behind her ear.

"Don't I get a kiss?"

I hesitated for a moment but then I ignored the nurse and Rose that were both standing in the doorframe.

"Of course, you get one."

For a split-second an embarrassedly looking smile flashed over her pixie-face.

"I bet you've never kissed anyone with tubes in the nose before."

"You could be right about that…," I mumbled against her lips before I covered them with mine. Her mouth was colder than usual and her lips tasted slightly bitter. I guessed that came from the medication. But it was still her and I was so glad that she was still here with me, that I didn't have words for it.

**XXXX**

Rosalie parked the car in front of my house and turned off the engine. Her hands stayed gripped around the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

"It's so weird." She whispered and to my immense surprise she starting crying again. Why was she doing that now, that everything was over?

"When I was younger, I always wondered how my mother could love Ali just as much as she loved me and my brother."

"Rose…"

She sighed deeply and pulled a tissue out of her handbag to clean her nose. Then she checked her reflection in the review mirror and wiped away the trail of black mascara from her cheekbone.

"But now that I can't have a child of my own, I understand her emotions way better. If Emmett would do the same that my father did. I think that I could love the child just as much as my mother loves Ali. And the three of us, we could be so…"

"Rose, please don't suggest anything like that to him. If the two of you want to adopt a child you can do that legally."

She raised one eyebrow and seemed confused.

"Adopt a child?"

I nodded my head as I opened the passenger's seat.

"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. You and Em would be good parents."

"I don't know if he would consider that. He was so pissed at me, when I suggested the surrogate mother."

"That's different, Rose. And your parents seem to love Ali just as much as you and Edward although she's adopted."

"Ali is not adopted."

"But Edward said that she's not your real sister. He called her a bastard."

"Hmm, yeah I know. I should have ripped him a new one for talking about her like that."

She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed deeply.

"Mom never thought of her that way and she had every right to do so."

"I still don't think that I understand, Rose."

"Ali's mother was the niece of Carlisle's housekeeper when he lived in Romania. She was really young back then, barely seventeen."

"And they offered him to buy her child? That's so immoral."

"No, they didn't. Bella, you have to promise me not to tell that part of the story to Ali. It might hurt her feelings."

"Kay,"

"Ali was right that her biological mother didn't want to keep her because she was so sick."

Something cramped painfully around my own heart and I wondered if it felt that way for Ali all the time.

"That's so…well…I just can't understand that. If Lilly…,"

"Yeah, I know, Bella. How can a mother not want her own child? And Ali was such a cute baby."

"Hmm and what has Carlisle to do with all that?"

"Well, Ali's so-called mother told him that she didn't want to keep the child and that she would put her into an orphanage to get rid of her."

"Hmm,"

"Bella, have you ever seen pictures from the inside of such a building? I assure you that my dog is treated better than the kids that live there."

"I still don't understand why your father cared so much about Ali's fate."

"God, Bella isn't that obvious? He wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt, if he hadn't."

"Why should he have felt guilty?"

"Because Ali is Carlisle's own child..."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] Well, did anyone see that coming? The perfect Cullen family has a lot of secrets behind the pretty surface…

Press the review button down there if you want to read more.


	27. Chapter 27

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to your favorite twilight fanfic soap opera. I'm happy that some of you seem to enjoy my writing style. It really makes me feel happy and your encouraging reviews really motivate me to continue with the story. So please keep them coming...

This chapter is dedicated to **lilibit1016** for being my 500th reviewer.

#FAQ#

*Yes, it's true; Carlisle did cheat on his wife while he worked for _Doctors without Borders_ in Romania and our favorite little Ali is the result of that.

*And yes, he cheated on her with a seventeen year old. Shocking isn't it?

*Why didn't Esme leave him when she found out? Because she's Esme… we'll find out more about her motivates later in the story.

*Ali is the youngest child. Edward was eight when she was born and Rose was ten. That's why they know that Esme is not Ali's real mom. But they don't really know everything of course…

*Can we kill Edward, castrate him, or whatever? Nope, we can't, at least not yet…you just have to be patient.

****Chapter 27****

I didn't sleep one single minute that night and so I spent hours tossing and turning around in the bed, my face buried in the pillows that still smelled of her a little bit.

At about 04:00 A.M. I finally gave up and stood up again. The house was so awfully silent that I turned on the TV just to have some background sounds.

I walked into the kitchen and made a chicken sandwich that I munched down with a glass of Coke; real coke, the sugary stuff, the one that I bought for Ali because she insisted that the Diet variant tasted like crap.

God, how much I missed her and how close I had come to losing her. No, don't think about it too much. It will make you crazy.

My eyes caught the picture of Edward, Lilly and me on the kitchen counter. The stupid grin on his face made me want to punch him straight in the guts. What an arrogant asshole, I thought.

Slowly I stood up and grabbed the picture, without thinking what I was doing I opened the trash can under the sink and threw it in.

Then I pulled out a few huge, grey plastic bags and went back upstairs.

I opened the closet and started stuffing down all of Edward's clothes in the bags. When I was done with that I carried them down to stock them in the Garage.

Small pearls of sweat tickled down my forehead and I wiped them away with trembling fingertips as I put the rest of my soon-to-be-ex-husband belongings into several boxes that I placed next to the bags with the clothes.

For a moment I thought about just setting the whole stuff on fire, but then I was too chicken to do it. What if I accidentally burned the house down too?

I showered and washed my hair with Ali's shampoo. Afterwards I blow –dried it and twisted it into a lose ponytail. It was still way too early to go back to the hospital and I didn't really know what I should do until then.

Then something important came into my mind and I turned on my laptop and typed my request into a search machine. When it had loaded, I sighed deeply. How should I choose a lawyer for my divorce when there were so many of them? God, I wished that I had paid more attention when Edward mentioned some of his competitors. Then I finally recognized one of the names.

_Zafrina Penthes_

Edward had called her an ice-hearted women's libber. An evil smile flashed over my face as I dialed the number to leave a message on the machine. To my surprise someone actually picked up.

"Penthes" The voice on the other line didn't even sound tired. Why the hell was she in her office that early?

"Hello?"

I cleared my voice before I spoke up.

"Hello. I…I'm so sorry that I called so early, I didn't expect anyone…,"

"You don't need to apologize. I'm a morning person and I'm always here that early. It's easier for me to concentrate when no one else is around in the office that could distract me."

"Hmm, yes I guess it is."

"So why did you call?"

"Well, I want to divorce my husband and I figured out that I might need some help with that."

"Might be…,"

"The thing is that I won't be able to pay you much."

"We can talk about the financial aspect of our agreement later. My secretary Senna could make up a payment by installment plan for you, if you'd be okay with that."

"Ahm, yes of course."

"Can you come to my office this afternoon, so that we could talk about everything? My schedule is pretty crowded but I'm sure we can put you in somewhere."

"Yes, that would be good."

"Fine, give me your name and your phone number and Senna will call you later."

"My name is Isabella Cullen and the nu…"

"Cullen?" her voice raised two octaves.

"Yes. That's C U…,"

"I know how that is spelled. Don't tell me that you're Edward Cullen's wife."

"I'm afraid that's what I am."

She burst out into laughter.

"That's too good!"

"I'm happy if my marriage problems manage to cheer you up." I snarled into the receiver.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Cullen. That was completely unprofessional."

"Look, if you don't want to work for me because of my husband," I almost choked at the word. "I can find another lawyer…,"

"No, no. You don't have to search for another one. I'd be happy to help you. I would do it for free just for the sake of seeing the pissed expression on Cullen's face when he finds out that you've chosen me for this job."

**XXXX**

I realized that Esme's green eyes were red and puffy when I walked into the waiting hall of the hospital.

Carlisle was standing next to the young doctor I remembered from yesterday and from the tortured look on her face he was giving her a hard time.

"Oh Bella. I'm so glad that you here!" Esme croaked out and wrapped her arms around me.

"I've already called Rosalie and I think that she and Emmett will be here soon. God, can you tell us what happened?"

"I, well…,"

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"How is Ali? Why are you here and not in her room?"

"Because our daughter has obviously decided to throw one of her post-pubertal tantrums; she doesn't want to see us. God, why has this child to be so damn stubborn?" Carlisle stated exasperated.

I inhaled sharply through my teeth and stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans to keep myself from slapping him straight into the face.

"Maybe you shouldn't have lied to her for her entire life!"

"Lower your voice, Bella. What do you mean, we lied to her? This is completely ridiculous."

"No, it's not."

"Mommy!" Lilly called out and rushed into my arms.

"Can we take Auntie Ali home with us now?"

I lifted her up and kissed her cheek.

"Not today, sweetie, but soon, I hope."

Emmett and Rosalie entered the room and the purple bags under her blue eyes were visible although she had obviously tried to cover them up with make-up.

"What are all of you doing here outside? She's not worse again, is she?"

"She doesn't want to see me and your father." Esme stumbled out before a low sob left her coral tinted mouth.

"Crap. God, mom…I'm so sorry about that. I promise to talk some sense into her."

"Rose, you can't blame her for being mad at them for lying to her."

"We did not…"

"Oh sure, you didn't. You just forgot to mention the fact to her that Esme is not her mother!"

Carlisle's eyes narrowed into tiny slits.

"Rose, for heaven's sake what did you tell her? Haven't we told you over and over again that we have to keep this family affair to ourselves?"

"Dad, I swear, that I didn't want to do it. And I haven't told her the whole story. She thinks that you and Mom adopted her."

"Adopted?" Carlisle's voice raised two octaves.

"Wait a minute. Who's adopted? Ali? God, Rose why didn't you tell me."

"Em, she's not adopted. She just thinks that because of the awful things our brother said to her."

"What did Edward say to her?"

Rosalie sighed deeply and stared down at the linoleum ground.

"Rose!"

"He told her that she's not our real sister and he called her a ba…bastard." Her face turned crimson red when she managed to croak out the words. Hmm, who knew that Mrs. McCarthy could blush like that?

"How dare he call her a bastard! Has he totally lost his mind?"

"Carlisle, calm down, I'm sure that he didn't mean it like that…,"

"Mommy, what's a bastard?"

I cringed slightly.

"Sweetie, you don't need to know what that means. It's an ugly word and I don't want you to use it."

"Your mother is right about that, Lilly. By the way, where is Edward? Did he fly back to Alaska or something? He doesn't answer his cell." Esme mumbled worriedly.

Emmett chuckled slightly.

"He's where men that hit women belong – in jail."

"Edward is in jail?" Esme croaked out and wiped her running nose on the back of her hand.

"Yep, he is. I hope it teaches him a lesson."

"Why the hell is he in jail?"

I sighed deeply.

"For throwing Ali halfway through the room so that she broke her ribs."

"He did what? What did she do to provoke him like that?"

"Carlisle, I don't want to sound like a leaflet against domestic violence but it doesn't matter if she provoked him or not. He had no right to freak out like that, not matter what she has done. A man has a choice…a man always has a choice."

"Yeah, I know, Emmett. It's just I can't believe that Edward would ever physically attack his sister. I can't believe this is really true."

"Trust me, Carlisle…it is. Your sneaky little smart-ass of a son is not as perfect as you think he is."

"Stop talking about him like that, McCarthy!"

"Grandma, what is a smart-ass?"

"Honey, that's not a nice word and I don't want you to use it."

"But Uncle Emmett uses it too."

"Yeah, right, sweetie, but he shouldn't have done it."

"It's not fair that all of you use words that I shouldn't say. I'm not a baby anymore."

"Yeah, I know, Lilly." I mumbled and pulled her on my lap.

"Can we go and see Auntie Ali now? I made a picture for her as present."

**XXXX**

"Hi, Ali, how are you feeling today?" I whispered as I bend down to plant a kiss on her cheek. Her skin tasted salty and I realized that she had been crying.

"Ali?"

"Are they still here?" she croaked out hoarsely as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Esme left to get Edward out of jail, but your father is still here."

"I wished he would leave too."

"Ali…"

I took her hand in mine and started rubbing small circles on it.

"You look tired, Bella. Didn't you sleep at all?"

I shook my head.

"Why?"

"I couldn't. I was so worried about you and I felt lonely there on my own."

"Bella, I don't want you to worry. I'll be fine."

"I'll try to work on that part…"

"Where is Lilly?"

"She's in the cafeteria with Emmett and your sister. Dr. Connor says that the tubes and all that stuff would scare her."

"Dr. Connor might be right about that. Will you tell Lilly that I miss her?"

"Of course, I will. Oh, before I forget it. She made you a picture. Do you want to see it?"

She nodded her head and smiled halfheartedly.

"Let me guess, that thing that looks like a dragon is not really a dragon?"

"I guess that's Fido again."

"Why does the dog have wings?"

"I don't know…to fly maybe. Your childhood pictures seemed to have made a big impression on her."

A low sob left her throat and then she started crying desperately.

I wiped away the tears with trembling fingertips. Carefully I wrapped my arms around her shoulder and started stroking up and down her back.

"I'm so sorry, Ali."

"I can't believe that they lied to me for my entire life. All of them!"

"I know, Ali, and I understand that you don't want to talk to your parents right now."

"Stop calling them my parents!"

"Ali, please try to stay calm. It's not good for your heart, if you do that."

"Yeah, I know."

She sniffed and I pulled a tissue out of my handbag to help her clean her nose again.

"There is one thing that I don't understand at all."

"Hmm,"

"Why did they choose to adopt me? My fa…well Carlisle is a cardiologist, so he'd probably found out about my condition very soon. Why should they have kept a sick child? No one would do that."

"Ali, they didn't adopt…" My voice was barely audible. God, I didn't want to be the one to tell her the truth. I shouldn't be the one to tell her the truth.

"Bella, please don't cry. It is worse enough that I'm such a crybaby."

I took a deep breath before I spoke up again.

"Do you remember when you told me that you'd always tell me the truth?"

"Hmm,"

"I want to do the same to you."

"It's nice to hear that you don't want to lie to me about anything; although you really suck at lying anyway."

"I know. You see, I want to tell you the truth but I don't want to hurt you with it."

"You're not trying to break up with me, are you?"

"No, no…of course not, how could I break up with you? Don't you know that you're the love of my life?"

Slowly I leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

"What I need to tell you has nothing to do with us. It's just about you. Rose told me not to tell you because it would hurt your feelings - but I think that they've already hurt you enough by lying to you."

"What can be worse than finding out that your parents illegally adopted you as a child?"

"Ali, they didn't adopt you."

She raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"Promise me to stay calm, will you?

"I'll try. Bella, please you have to tell me what you know."

I placed one hand on her chest while my other continued stroking her cheekbone.

"They didn't adopt you because it wasn't necessary. People don't need to adopt their own children."

"But Rose said that I was born in Romania. She said that Carlisle gave my mother money…"

"Yeah, that's right, Ali. I don't know why he did it. Maybe it was because he had such a bad conscious because of the problems he caused her."

"Problems… What kind of problems?"

"Getting her pregnant at seventeen…"


	28. Chapter 28

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers out there. Thanks so much for reading & reviewing my little story here. Your support really means a lot to me.

This chapter is dedicated to **Hayley** and **Antonia23**. Freu mich immer wahnsinnig über reviews auf deutsch :-)

#FAQ#

What kind of heart disease does Alice have?

Ali's heart condition is made up, but we'll learn more about it in one of the next chapters. I don't have any medical knowledge at all apart from watching Grey's Anatomy so that's not very easy for me to do.

****Chapter 28****

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her carefully, making sure that I wouldn't hurt her broken ribs.

To my immense surprise she didn't cry. Maybe she was too shocked to do it. Maybe she just hadn't any tears left right now. Whatever it was it scared me way more than her sobbing earlier.

"Ali?"

"Hmm,"

"I'm worried about you. You seem so calm. It's scary somehow."

"I know, Bella. Please, you have to promise me not to worry about me too much."

I twisted the fingers of her hand with mine and started rubbing invisible circles all over her wrist.

"I can't do that, Ali. I care too much about you not to worry, if I know that you're upset.

"Yeah, I know. I'm so glad that you told me the truth, Bella, although I don't know yet what I will do with my new knowledge now."

"Do you want to talk to your father?"

"No fucking way. I don't want to see him!"

She burst out into tears and I wiped them away with the back of my hand.

"Shhh, it's okay."

"No, it's not. Everything is so messed up."

"You're right about that."

"Can I tell you something stupid?"

"You can tell me whatever you want, Ali."

"When I thought that I was adopted, I felt so relieved."

"Relieved?"

"Yes, I was so relieved that Edward isn't my real brother. It made what I did to him less sad."

"What you did to him? Alice, just for the record, you're only in here because of him."

"But I stole his wife away from him. I cheated on him behind his back…in his own house."

"Ali, that doesn't matter. Well, of course it matters, but you have done nothing to deserve this here."

My fingertips stroked over the bandage on her chest.

"I'm sorry for complicating your life so much."

"Bella, you don't complicate my life, you complete it."

**XXXX**

Esme's copper head appeared in the doorframe where she remained standing, hesitating to enter the room.

"Mom?" Ali's voice almost cracked at the short word.

"Can I come in here, Mary Alice?"

She nodded her head and swallowed hard to hold back a few tears that were already glittering in the corners of her caramel eyes.

"Thank you. I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me at all. Your father thought that we should probably leave you alone for a while, but I couldn't do that."

Slowly she stepped closer to the bed and sat down on the plastic chair that was standing next to it. For a moment I thought that it would probably look strange to her that I was sitting on the edge of the bed but then I realized that it didn't matter what Esme or any of the others were thinking about that.

"Are you in pain?"

"Not really, they gave me so many painkillers that I feel a little bit stoned right now."

"That's good, Mary Alice. I was so worried that there was something wrong with your heart again."

"No, this time it's not the heart, just my stupid ribs and my lung."

"But you'll be alright soon, won't you? Dr. Connor told us that there won't be any long-term consequences."

Ali rolled her eyes at that.

"No one in this hospital gives a shit about medical confidentiality."

"Please don't sue the poor doctor. I think that your father intimidated her somehow. That's why she told him everything."

"I wasn't planning on doing it. But if you're asking me to do the same for my…well for Edward, I'm not so sure about that."

"Mary Alice, please. I'm so sorry for what he did to you, but you can't honesty want him to stay in jail."

"Hmm,"

"He was so miserable when I visited him in there. I think he's scared that the people in there might find out that he's a lawyer. Criminals don't like lawyers. The poor boy fears for his life and I'm sure that he didn't want to…"

"Why are you defending him?" I snarled at her angrily.

"He hurt her so much, not only physically, but emotionally too. Your perfect son is not as perfect as you think he is!"

"Don't yell at her, Bella. It's understandable that she's on his side. Edward is her own child and I'm just a…I'm just a…"

"Don't you dare to finish that sentence, Mary Alice; I've never thought of you that way, never."

"How could you lie to me for my entire life?"

"That's complicated."

"I guess, it is…but I still need to know."

"Well, your father had an affair with the niece of his housekeeper in Romania. I can't really tell you much about her though. Just that she was very young…too young actually, that's one of the reasons why Carlisle wanted us to keep the whole thing to ourselves."

"Yeah, statutory rape isn't something to be proud of, is it?"

"He did not force himself on her!" Esme's voice raised two octaves.

"She seduced him."

"Let me guess, that's what Carlisle told you?" I asked her, trying not to sound too sarcastically.

Esme shook her head.

"No he didn't tell me that, but I knew it anyway."

"How?"

"Carlisle is so old-fashioned; he even refused to touch me before our wedding night."

"Mom, that's the kind of information that I really don't need to have."

"I wasn't planning on giving you any embarrassing details about our love life."

"Thanks a lot."

"You don't see Carlisle the way I see him. You don't know him the way I know him. He's a good man."

"Why are you not angry at him? He cheated on you. God, he even fathered a child with the other woman."

"Oh, Bella…That was over twenty years ago and it didn't mean anything to him."

"How do you know that?"

"If it had meant anything to Carlisle he wouldn't have come back to me. But he did and that's all that matters to me that he came back to me."

"I understand…or I don't, I'm not so sure about that actually." I confessed after a few awkward moments of silence.

"That's okay, Bella. Well, you probably never loved Edward the way I love his father and that makes it difficult for you to understand the way I see things."

"Mom, can I ask you something?" Ali whispered anxiously.

"Of course you can, Mary Alice." She took Ali's hand in hers and squeezed it carefully.

"How can you love me although I'm not your child?"

"Mary Alice, love isn't something that you can explain with rational arguments. You don't choose to love, you just do it. You were such a dear child and you needed me so much when you were little, way more than your siblings ever did. And then there's the fact that you are a part of the man that I love. That alone would be reason enough for me to love you**.**

**XXXX**

The office was very much like Edward's; leather furniture and a huge desk crowded with books and files.

She looked up from her laptop and her lips twisted into a polite smile before she stood up. Jeez, she was really tall, and she didn't even wear heels.

"Hello Mrs. Cullen. It's nice to meet you."

I shook her hand and realized that her ebony skin was smooth like silk.

"Hi, Miss Penthes, I'm so sorry that I had to bring my daughter with me…"

"You don't have to apologize for that. I like kids." She kneeled down in front of Lilly and a bright smile flashed over her face.

"Hi, I'm Zafrina. And you are?"

"I'm Lilly. Your name is funny."

"Lilly, please…" My cheeks reddened under the curtain of my long hair.

A low chuckle left the lawyers throat before she spoke up again.

"It's okay, Mrs. Cullen. She just says what she thinks and that's a good thing actually. She'll learn how to lie soon enough."

With her genetic background you can bet on that, I thought sourly.

"So, you want to divorce your husband. Do you want to give me any details about your reasons?"

I hesitated for a moment. She was a stranger after all.

"Look, Mrs. Cullen. I know that it's hard for you to trust someone you don't know at all, but it's necessary if you want me to be able to do my job properly."

I sighed deeply and fisted my hands so tightly that my fingernails cut into the skin of my palm.

"It's very complicated."

"Complicated cases are my specialty."

"Well, he cheated on me with his secretary."

"That doesn't sound too complicated, Mrs. Cullen."

"And I cheated on him with…with his sister."

"Kay,"

"And he told me that he wants full custody for Lilly when I informed him about my divorce plans."

"Was that before or after he found out that you and your sister-in-law have a rather….unusual closeness in your relationship."

"It was before. Does that make a difference? I'm really scared that he's going to take the child away from me. Lilly is everything to me."

"Mrs. Cullen I don't think that you need to worry about the custody thing too much. Normally the custody always goes to the mother. If the father doesn't agree to that, he needs to proof that you can't take care of her properly."

"And he wants me to move out of the house."

"Hmm, is the house his or yours?"

"Well, his parents gave it to both of us as a wedding present. He offered that if I could buy his half, which is ridiculous because he knows that I don't have enough money for that."

"Would you consider selling it? That would be the easiest option."

"I don't know."

"Why? Did you set your heart on that house?"

"No, I don't really care about the house, but we've lived there with Lilly since she was born. It's her home."

"I see. Let me check, if we can make it possible that you keep the house. I assume that you're a stay-at-home mother?"

I nodded my head.

"Edward didn't want me to work after we got married. He said it would be inappropriate for the wife of a lawyer."

She rolled her eyes at that.

"Jeez, he's such a chauvinist. It would have been inappropriate for you to work? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"I never really thought about it. Well, I'm trying to find a job, but it won't be too easy to get one, because I haven't had a proper job since Lilly was born."

"Taking care of a little child is a proper job, Mrs. Cullen. And as it was his wish that you didn't work, he'll have to pay support for you and the child, at least until you find work."

"We have a pre-nuptial. It says that he doesn't need to pay for me in case I leave him."

"Could you send me a copy of that pre-nuptial? I want to check if everything is alright with it. Maybe there is something like a loop hole that we can use to your advantage."

"I don't want his stupid money."

"Fine, but if you are going to work, you have to make sure that you have a day care or something like that for your daughter, so that your husband can't throw a tantrum about her being neglected or some crap like that."

"Ali works mostly at home, she can watch her."

"And Ali is who?"

"She's my girlfriend." I almost choked at the word. Was that the first time I had called her that in front of another person?

"That could be a problem."

"Could he get custody for Lilly because I'm in a relationship with his sister now?"

"Wait a minute. Could you please press the back-button for me? Ali is your sister-in-law?"

I swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling and nodded my head.

"See, I've told you that it's complicated." I croaked out, my voice trembling slightly.

"Mrs. Cullen, I've already told you that complicated cases are my specialty. You don't' need to worry."

"Good." I mumbled while I tasted a few salty tears on the tip of my tongue.

She handed me a tissue and I cleaned my nose loudly.

"I'll have to call your husband now to inform him about our appointment. I think that I have the number of his office somewhere here…"

"He's not in his office right now."

"Do you know where he is?"

"Still in jail, I guess."

"He's in jail? I thought that Cullen works for an oil company in Alaska. What the hell is he doing with a client in jail?"

"He's not there because of a client."

"He was arrested?" her voice raised two octaves.

"What did Cullen do, tax fraud or anything like that?"

"No, he's in jail because he hit Ali so badly when he caught us…well…when he caught us together that she's in hospital right now."

"Is she alright? I think it's a good thing that she pressed charges. Many women hesitate to do that when they're related to the man."

My daughter got bored from sitting still. She stood up and walked around in the office.

Her eyes caught a small wooden statue in a book shelve.

"Lilly, honey, please don't touch anything."

"I'm just looking!"

"Can you try to look without using your hands?"

"Yes, Mommy…" She kept staring at the statue and rubbed her chin with her thumb.

"Zafrina? Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, Lilly. What do you want to know?"

"Why has the statue only one boob? What happened to the other one?"

Zafrina stood up from her chair and kneeled down next to my curious daughter on the ground.

"She's an Amazon, that's something like a female warrior."

A warrior, I thought secretly, just what we need right now…

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] I'd like to hear your thoughts about the chapter. The Esme part was difficult for me to write and I really hope that you understand her better now.

How did you like Zafrina? Her family name is a short cut for Penthesilea (that was an Amazon queen).

Until next time, take care

*I've written a little one-shot for Valentine's Day and if you like my writing, I'm sure you'll enjoy reading it. It's called '**Valentine Girl'**.*


	29. Chapter 29

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers out there. Thanks and hugs for taking the time to read & review my little Bellice story here. It's because of you that I continue writing this soap opera…ahm I mean this Twilight fanfiction.

This chapter is dedicated to **beelotus** and **Villemo79** for liking Zafrina. I've got plans for her in the future so watch out…

****Chapter 29****

_Ali's POV_

The worst thing about being in the hospital was that I was spending far too much time alone with my thoughts. Unfortunately most of them weren't really happy ones. The newly discovered truth about my heritage kept me awake at night, making me wonder how it could be possible that my entire family had lied to me for my entire life…

A loud knock on the door made me cringe slightly and when Jasmine's honey-blonde head appeared in the doorframe I sighed in relief.

"Hey, beautiful girl, crave for company?" she smirked and sat down on the plastic chair next to me.

"Jazz, I hope you don't really use such a lame pick-up line when you go out. It's embarrassing."

A low chuckle left her throat before she spoke up again.

"No, I don't. I saved that one for you because I knew how much you would like it."

"Thanks a lot. I feel honored."

She took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"How are you feeling, Ali?"

"Are you asking as my friend or as a shrink?"

"As your friend, Ali…although the 200 bucks your father gave to me should make me ask you as a therapist too."

"He paid you to talk to me?" My voice raised two octaves.

"Yep, he did. And before you start throwing a tantrum about him bribing me or any crap like that, I only accepted the money because I pitied him so much. He's really desperate that you're refusing to talk to him at all."

"Did he tell you, why I don't want to see him?"

"Yes, he did. It was necessary that he was open to me about everything. The whole situation isn't easy for either one of you."

"I don't give a shit about how complicated things are for him! He lied to me! He fucking lied to me for my entire fucking life! I…I'm so… so…!" Tears started falling down my cheeks and I wiped them away with the back of my hand.

"You're angry, aren't you?" her voice was warm and smooth like velvet. It had always been my favorite part of her when we were together.

"It doesn't matter if I'm angry or not, Jasmine. What does it change? My whole life is nothing but a fucking lie."

"It matters a lot. Anger is a strong emotion; anger keeps you from breaking down and give into your pain. It helps you to deal with the current situation."

"Jazz, you know that I hate it when you throw this psychological bullshit at me."

"Yeah, I do, Ali. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Kay,"

"But, it would be better for you, if we did."

"It would be better for my family if my father had sent me back to Romania." I murmured and tried to turn my body to the other side without hurting my injured ribs too much.

The plastic chair squeaked when Jasmine stood up from it. Carefully she sat down on the edge of the bed and started stroking my back in feather light movements.

"Hey, I didn't know that you had a tattoo." She whispered while her fingertips caressed one of the Lilly's on my hipbone.

"There's a lot about me, that you don't know, Jazz." And there's a lot that I don't know about myself as well...

She chuckled slightly and pulled the blanket over my body again.

"Let me guess. You got that in your first week in Paris and you had it done because you knew that it would piss of your parents if they'd see it. Am I right?"

I nodded my head and sighed deeply.

"I don't care about the damn tattoo and whether my par…whether Carlisle and Esme would like it or not?" I snarled at her.

"I think you do. God, Ali, stop being so stubborn."

"I'm not stubborn."

Oh yes, you are, Missy. Always have been…always will be."

She leaned forward and put a wisp of my hair behind my ear. For a split second I thought that she was going to kiss me there and that would have been a lovely addition to my already complicated life.

"Please don't touch me like this. It's not right when both of us are in a relationship with someone else."

Slowly she stood up from the bed, trying hard to keep her face a calm looking mask.

"Firstly, I'm not in a relationship anymore and secondly…"

"Maria broke up with you? I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, she didn't. I was the one who left her. It just wasn't working. Maria is a great woman, but she's just not the one."

"Hmm, I see, I'm still sorry though."

Her fingertips brushed over my cheekbone and I instantly turned my face to the side.

"Jazz, I was serious about you touching me like that being not right. Bella wouldn't understand it and it would irritate her."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and her eyes narrowed into tiny slits.

"Don't give a shit what the straight girl thinks is acceptable or not. And just for the record; sleeping with the wife of your brother doesn't equal a proper relationship."

"She's going to divorce him."

"Ali, that won't change the fact that she was with him first."

"Yeah, I know but still. It doesn't matter to me, it doesn't matter to her. We're together now and I'm planning on making it stay that way. I love her."

"Oh Ali, you're still such a child. Being in a relationship is not only about being in love. That won't be enough."

"You are jealous of her, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. Why should I be jealous of a stupid, boring housewife who's trying to spice up her dull life by fucking her sister-in-law?"

"Watch your mouth, Jazz. I don't like it when you talk about Bella like that."

"That's just because you don't want to hear the truth, Ali. This won't work out and you'll get hurt again, I know it. It'll be the same crap like it was with that carrot-head. You sure can pick them."

"Don't you dare to compare Bella to Victoria; she's nothing like her. Nothing! Do you hear me, Miss Whitlock!"

"Lower your voice, Ali. I know that you don't want to see it but the parallels are there."

"Get out here now." I tried to make my voice sound hard but it cracked at the end like a broken record. Moments later I tasted the first salty tears on my lips.

"Hey, please don't cry. Can't you see that I'm just trying to help you?"

"I told you to go, Jasmine!"

"Ali, please…I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"Get out of here now or I'll call the nurse to kick you out!"

"Kay, I'll leave but I'll come again. You definitely need someone who tells you the truth."

"Fuck you! You know nothing about the truths or lies in my life!"

My hand grabbed the empty glass on the small night table on the side of the bed. Without thinking about what I was doing I threw it at her. She ducked her head and the glass crashed into dozens of tiny pieces when it hit the wall at the other side of the room.

**XXXX**

The glass pieces crumbled under her feet as she entered the room. Slowly she kneeled down and put several of them carefully into the palm of her hand before she threw them into the trash in the corner of the room.

"You don't need to clean up my mess." I croaked out hoarsely.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on my trembling lips.

"I'm used to cleaning after other people. How did your glass end up at the other side of the room?"

"I tried to hit Jasmine's thick scull with it but the drugs they're giving me have weakened my aiming accuracy a little bit."

"Ali, you shouldn't throw things at other people. Why did you do it anyway?"

"Because she pissed me off with her psycho crap and she refused to leave when I asked her to."

"She's probably just trying to help you."

"I don't need her to help me!"

"Shhh, please try to stay calm, Ali. You know that's not good for your heart if you get too agitated."

"Bella, you promised me not to treat me differently because of my condition."

"Yeah, I remember. I'm not doing it on purpose, Ali. I'm just so worried about you."

"You start sounding like my mother…that's not sexy."

"You're not honestly thinking about that right now, are you?"

"No, I'm not. But I don't want to talk about my stupid heart anymore."

"Okay." She whispered and kissed my mouth again very tenderly. The tip of her tongue slipped between my slightly parted lips and a low moan escaped my throat when she started caressing the inside of my mouth with it.

"Promise me that you won't hurt me." My shaking voice was barely audible.

"Ali, can't you see that I can't hurt you without hurting me? Look, I'm so sorry about the complicated situation we're currently in but I swear that I'm working hard to fix that for both of us."

"You're talking about the lawyer you went to see, aren't you?"

She nodded her head and twisted her long hair into a lose ponytail.

"She was really supportive and suggested that it would probably be the easiest option if we'd sell the house."

"Do you want to do that, Bella?"

"I don't know yet. The house means nothing to me but it is Lilly's home."

"Where is she now?"

"With your sister and Emmett, but I don't know if that was such a smart idea. They're still arguing a lot because Emmett helped to send your brother to jail."

"I see. He's still in there, isn't he?"

"Yeah, but they can't keep him there for much longer if you refuse to press charges."

"Bella, I can't do that. He's still my brother…or my half-brother to be more precisely."

She took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently. Then she put it to her lips and planted kisses all over my knuckles.

"Your hands are so cold." She mumbled against the back of my hand.

"It's your choice whether you want to press charges against him or not. Whatever you're choosing to do, I'll support your decision."

"Can I tell you something stupid? If I had been in his place, I would have probably reacted in a similar way. Both of us have such a bad temper, it's embarrassing."

"But you're not violent when you get angry."

"You haven't seen me angry yet, Bella. Trust me it's not a pretty sight."

"Passionate little thing, aren't you?"

She cupped my face between her hands and kissed me tenderly.

"I really love that part of your personality, Ali. You're the fire that can melt the ice around my frozen heart."

I pulled her on top of me. The weight of her put an unpleasant pressure on my bandaged ribs but I tried to ignore it. Her hands twisted into my messy hair and I whimpered slightly as she lowered her head to suck the sensitive skin on my neck between her teeth. Suddenly she stopped and tried to pull back.

"Ali, I'm hurting you. Let me go."

"It doesn't matter. I need to feel you close to me."

"I'm going to re-break your ribs. How are we going to explain that to Dr. Connor?" she chuckled slightly and planted a last gentle kiss on the tip of my nose before I dropped my hands from her back.

She stood up from the bed but sat down behind me again, wrapping her arms carefully around my waist.

"That's better, isn't it?" she mumbled and started massaging my shoulders with smooth movements.

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes for a moment. Slowly I turned my head and when the tip of her tongue nudged against mine a shiver went down my spine.

There were noises somewhere in the background but I tried to blend them out. It was always loud here in the hospital at this time of the day.

"I can see my daughter whenever I want to, Dr. Connor."

Crap, what the hell was Carlisle doing here again? What part of 'I don't want to see you' was too complicated for him to understand it? I sighed deeply and pulled back from the kiss, but I rested my head against Bella's chest when the dizziness washed over me again.

"Are you alright, honey?" she whispered and I nodded my head, unable to bring out any words right now.

"Dr. Cullen, you can't go in there, if she doesn't want to see you."

"You're not in the position to tell me anything, young miss! When did you finish medical school at all; last month maybe?"

"Mrs. McCarthy, try to reason with your father."

"Dad, she's right. Let me talk to Ali alone first."

"That won't have any use, Rosalie. Now go out of the way before I tear down this damn door!"

"Dad, please, calm down. You can't make her talk to you, if she doesn't want to."

The door was opened in a swift movement and Dr. Connor stepped into the room with a few graceful movements, followed by Rosalie who was a little bit pale under the nose and an almost livid looking Carlisle.

"I'm sorry, Miss Cullen but…"

"That's okay, Dr. Connor. Don't worry about it. My _father_", she made the word two syllables. "...won't stay here for long."

"Alright, Miss Cullen, I'll give you some privacy then."

She closed the door behind her and I sighed deeply.

"Do you want me to leave too?" Bella asked me anxiously and tried to stand up from the bed again, but I put my hand on her thigh to keep her where she was.

"No, I want you to stay here with me, Bella."

My father raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"Mary Alice, this is just about our family. It has nothing to do with her." God, if he knew how much everything had to do with her.

"I assume that you haven't spoken to Edward yet, have you?" It wasn't really a question, more like a statement.

"No, I haven't. Look, Mary Alice, he had no right to tell you the things he said to you. He doesn't even know the whole truth. I don't know what came over him…"

"I know, Dad. He's jealous."

"You think that he's jealous of you? That's completely ridiculous. Esme and I have always tried to treat all of you equally."

"He's not jealous because of you and Mom. He's jealous because of Bella."

"Why the hell should he be jealous of his own wife? That doesn't make any sense at all, Mary Alice."

"It will." I assured him and put Bella's hand in mine to squeeze it gently.

The time had finally come to let the truth out of the bag, all of it…


	30. Chapter 30

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Two updates on the same day is probably not a very smart idea. Don't make me regret it…

This chapter is dedicated to **aquarius127** because I like the way she thinks…

**FAQ**

*Is Jasmine still in love with Ali?

Yeah, I think so…but who can blame her for it. Ali is just too adorable, isn't she?

* to **Haley** and all the others who have problems picturing a plus size Bella. I suggest to Google the plus size model Chloe Marshall. Bella is not seriously overweight in this story although this awful little thing called the BMI scale would tell her that she's pretty close to obesity…

****Chapter 30****

Carlisle's blue eyes moved from me to Ali who started trembling next to me until his gaze finally found the chalk-white face of his oldest daughter.

"What is she talking about?" his voice was still calm although the slightly aggressive tone in it wasn't to miss. Damn it, I hoped he wouldn't react in a similar way like his son.

"Dad, please. We've enough problems to deal with right now. Ali and you can talk about _that_…another time."

"No, Rose. This time is just as good as any other. You know as much as I do that our brother will break the scandalous news to him as soon as Riley has to set his sorry ass out of jail again."

A low sigh left Rosalie's coral tinted lips that currently were the only color in her pretty face. The whole worry about her younger sister was making her sick too.

"What kind of scandalous new?"

I took a deep breath but when I opened my mouth again not a single understandable word managed to leave my lips.

"Mary Alice, Isabella…what the hell is going on here?"

Ali sighed deeply and twisted the fingers of her right hand with mine.

"Dad, I love Bella."

"You think that you lo...love her…is that same kind of sick joke?"

"No, it's not. Alice and I are together now, like t_ogether _toge…"

"I fucking know what together means!"

Rosalie put one hands on his shoulder in a desperate attempt to calm her father down.

"I bet you knew about that, didn't you?"

"Yes, Dad…"

"And what were you planning on doing against it?"

"Doing something against it? What the hell should I have done! I told Ali that I think it might be wrong."

"It might be wrong! Damn it Rosalie Lillian, I swear to god, if you weren't an adult, married woman I would…I would!"

"Dad, keep your voice down in case you don't want the entire hospital to know about the problems in our family."

"She's right about that, Dad. And I don't understand why you are so pissed at Rosie. She hasn't done anything…"

"That's right, Mary Alice. She didn't do anything to help ending this nonsense between you and your sister-in-law!"

"Rosalie didn't do anything because it's none of her damn business!" I told him, pulling Ali's trembling body closer to me again.

Carlisle's eyes narrowed when he realized it.

"Get your hands off of my daughter!" he croaked out and shoved me off of the bed. My vision went black for a moment as my head hit the metal frame of the hospital bed.

"Ouch!"

"God, Bella are you okay?" Ali asked me anxiously.

I quickly nodded my head and stood up from the ground. The back of my head was hurting a little but it wasn't worse than a migraine attack. My fingertips moved over the throbbing scull and when I put my hand on Ali's again it was covered in small trails of crimson colored blood.

"I shouldn't…I didn't mean to…" Carlisle's voice raised a hysterically high frequency.

"Bella, do you need me to call the nurse or anyone?" Rosalie asked me worriedly.

I shook my head.

"That's not necessary, Rose. I've always been an easy bleeder."

She walked over to the bed and checked the wound on the back of my head. It looked as if she would probably pass out any moment.

"It's a laceration and it'll need stiches."

Then she sat down on the plastic chair next to the bed and turned to her father again.

"Great Dad, just great...like father, like son…both of you are obviously not mature enough to solve your problems verbally."

"Rosalie, I did not do that on purpose. I just want both of them to see reason. Whatever happened between Bella and Mary Alice, it has to stop. This is destroying our entire family!"

"Dad, can't you see? This is not about you or me or Edward or any other member of the wonderful oh-so perfect Cullen Clan."

"She's actually right, Carlisle. It's just our choice if we want to be together. Just mine and Ali's and we don't need your consent on it to be happy."

"Bella, you can't be serious about that. Have you no respect for the holiness of matrimony at all?"

Now he was starting to piss me off way more than my hurting head was capable to deal with.

"Oh and you think that you do? Where was your respect for your wife when you cheated on her while you lived in Europe?" It was below the belt to bring this up now but I wouldn't take any crap from someone like him.

"Damn it, Bella. You know nothing about that. Nothing do you hear me! And just for the record, I know that I made a mistake with Sasha. Everything was a big, stupid mistake that I'm going to regret for every single day of my life."

"A mistake? That's all I am to you? A fucking mistake!" Ali croaked out, before she swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling that were already glittering in the corners of her caramel eyes.

"He didn't mean it like that, Ali." Rosalie assured her while she wiped a few pearls of sweat from her forehead with a tissue.

"Your sister is right, Mary Alice. I don't think of you as a mistake…but the things that lead to…well, I shouldn't have given into Sasha's persuasiveness."

"Sasha? Is this Sasha my biological mother?"

"She was."

"Was?"

"She died about ten years ago in a cardiac clinic in Bucharest."

"Did she have the same condition like me?"

He nodded his head and sighed deeply.

"Yes she did, a lot worse though and she was so…well hungry for life. That didn't help with it either."

"Ali isn't going to die because of her heart too, is she?" A sharp pain cramped around my heart, like a cold iron fist that almost managed to knock the breath out of me.

"I'm not dying, Bella. The valve of my stupid heart is just a little bit leaky."

"That's a very unorthodox way of describing it, Mary Alice. But she's right, Bella. It won't be lethal in her case. She just needs to avoid too much stress in her life."

"Stress like me?"

"Yeah, that too, Bella…"

"Dad, just for the record: Bella is not the reason why I'm in here right now. That's your perfect little smart-ass of a son!"

A young girl with curly brown hair and huge, fearful eyes opened the door.

"Excuse me? I was send here to bring lunch to Miss Cullen. But I can come back later…if you and your visitors are busy right now."

"You can leave the food here, thank you. Just put it on the night table here. I'll eat it later."

Rosalie wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"God, what kind of crappy food are they serving in here? That smells worse than the stuff Emmett feeds to our dog."

I put the plastic lid up and the scent of salmon and pasta filled the air.

"You should probably eat it as long as it's still hot."

"I'm not hungry, Bella."

"She shouldn't eat that anyway. I think it's foul. Can't you smell that too?" She asked me and leaned over the plastic bowl. It didn't seem to be such a clever move from her side because a split second later she turned her head and emptied her stomach into the small trash.

"Rosalie, what the hell was that? If you are sick you should stay away from your sister." Carlisle snarled at her as he handed her a fresh tissue to wipe her mouth.

"I'm not sick. It was just the stupid fish…it smells awful. God, Bella, for heaven's sake put the lid back on the bowl."

"Okay. I will. Maybe we should open the window to let in a little bit of fresh air. You won't get too cold will, you?" I asked Alice and wrapped the blanket over her shoulder.

"Damn it, Bella. I'm not seriously ill. Open the window. I guess all of us need some fresh air right now."

I stood up from the bed and walked over to the small window, knowing that she was probably more right about it than ever…

**XXXX**

A low sigh left my throat when I finally parked the car in front of my house again. My head was still hurting but the painkillers Dr. Connor had made me swallow before she stitched the wound on the back of my head were starting to help a little bit.

"Mommy, are you sick?"

"No, honey, I'm not. My head is just hurting a little bit. Can you try to be silent?"

"Maybe your head will get better if I sing you a song." She suggested as we entered the house again.

"I don't think so, sweetie. Just go upstairs and play in your room, okay?"

She nodded her head and walked out of the kitchen where I sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and put my face in my hands.

The phone starting ringing but I ignored it, knowing that wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone right now. After a few moments the machine picked up.

"I know that you're home, Bella." Edward snarled into the receiver.

"Pick up the damn phone, for crying out loud."

Slowly I stood up and walked over to the phone on the other side of the kitchen but hesitated for a moment.

"You know what? I don't care if you pick up the damn phone or not Isabella. I just called to let you know that this men-hating bitch that you have chosen as your lawyer has sent some completely ridiculous claims to my office. I've got some information for you, Mrs. Cullen. If you are planning on playing dirty, you're trying to mess with the wrong man. You won't get a single dime of my money and as for the custody thing. Lilly will stay with me; I won't accept any other option. You're not honestly thinking that I'll let her stay with an emotionally instable person like you!"

He thinks that I'm emotionally instable? My weight is probably instable, but my mind is working pretty fine. Thank you, Mr. Cullen. Jeez, I had to do something about the name thing too. Although it was, in a very weird kind of way nice that Ali and I had the same family name…

I rolled my eyes at my own stupid thoughts and walked out of the kitchen. Lily was sitting on the top of the stair with her teddy bear in her arms. I kneeled down next to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Lilly, why aren't you playing in your room, like I told you to do?"

"I don't want to and I don't want you to be angry at Daddy anymore. Auntie Rosie says he's going to live at Grandma's house for a while. Why can't he live here with us and Auntie Ali?"

"Lilly, that's just…well that's complicated, you'll understand that better when you're older."

"I'm almost five and I want to understand it now."

"Lilly, honey, I've already told you that me being angry at your father has nothing to do with you."

"I know, Mommy, but can't you just tell each other that you're sorry? Auntie Rosie always tells Uncle Emmett that she's sorry after she yells at him and then he kisses her and everything is okay. Why can't you and Daddy do that too?"

"Lilly, honey…" I sighed deeply and started rubbing my forehead with my fingertips.

"That won't work…because…because, I don't love your father the way your aunt loves your uncle."


	31. Chapter 31

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to your favorite Twilight fanfic/ soap opera. This chapter was difficult for me to write. Hope I didn't mess things up too much. And just for the record; physical violence is wrong…but I guess you'll understand things better when you've read the entire thing…

This one is dedicated to **Herschie** and **10-TwilightFan**. Hope you'll enjoy it.

#FAQ#

*Why didn't Bella do anything when Carlisle shoved her off the bed?

Because she was too shocked to do it and she probably really thinks that it was just an accident that she hurt her head on the bedframe.

*Is Rose pregnant?

I so knew it that you would assume that if I make her throw up. I guess we'll find out soon…

****Chapter 31****

"Your entire family is about to lose it, Ali and I can't believe that you're still not planning on pressing charges against your moron of a brother."

Ali sighed deeply and emptied the glass of water in front of her. She looked incredibly tired and I wondered if she had slept at all last night. Weren't they supposed to give her sleeping pills in there?

Well, it didn't matter anymore, for she was finally back at home with me. Dr. Connor wasn't too happy that she wanted to leave the hospital that soon, but Ali was stubborn and finally convinced the doctor to let her go.

"Emmett, I can't do that, I just can't."

"Oh yes, you can, Ali. You don't want to that's the problem."

"Emmett, you don't need to be so rude to her. It's her decision whether she wants to do it or not."

He stood up from the kitchen chair and kneeled down in front of -the russet colored dog that was standing next to him. A low purring noise escaped Fido's snout when he started stroking the huge head with his fingertips.

"Don't you know that I fucking know that, Bella?"

"Then why are you still trying to convince her to? Can't you just accept her choice?"

Slowly he stood up again and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I still think that she should do it. What he did to her was so below the belt that I have no words for it. And the thing is…if some random stranger would have injured her in the way Edward did it, I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't think twice whether she should press charges against the shithead or not."

"Mommy what's a shithead?" Lilly asked me while she continued stuffing pieces of her sandwich into the dog's snout.

"Nothing you need to know, sweetie."

I gave Emmett a dirty look.

"Don't use words like that when the kid can hear you. How often will I have to tell you that, McCarthy?"

He chuckled slightly.

"I'm getting her a shirt for her birthday that says something like 'My godfather taught me all the bad language I know' or something like that."

"Just for the record; that's so not funny." I told him and swallowed another painkiller against the throbbing pain in my head. Was it possible that I had a concussion? No, I had that before and it was worse.

"How is Rose?" Ali asked her bear-like brother in law in an attempt to change the subject of our conversation.

"She's still sick. I guess it's just stomach flu, nothing serious. You don't need to worry about her."

"Bella told me that you and Rosie are arguing about me pressing charges against my brother. You really shouldn't do that."

"Tinker-Ali, I know that this must come as a huge surprise to you, but your sister and I we argue a lot. That's normal for us…no biggie. We argue whether we should use a surrogate mother or whether we should adopt a child from Korea or whether we should allow the dog to sleep in our bed at night..."

The dog raised his head when he mentioned the last one.

"Forget it, buddy. I don't want to wake up with your slobber all over my face."

Then he turned to Ali again.

"As for pressing charges against your brother, Rosie knows that it would be the right thing to do. He deserves some punishment. She's just against it because your mother called her about five times a day, sobbing into the receiver that he would get probably beaten up or raped by some of the other inmates."

"But it could happen, couldn't it?"

"And you could have been killed, Ali."

I cringed slightly and put one arm on Ali's shoulder as if to make sure that she was still there.

"Yeah, I know, but I wasn't. So can we please try to get over it now? The whole divorce crap will be worse enough without me pressing charges against him."

The doorbell rang and I stood up to open the door.

"Mrs. Isabella Cullen?" The dispatcher asked me politely and I nodded my head.

"You need to sign this….here…and here."

"What's in there?"

"I don't know Mam. I'm not allowed to open the envelopes."

"Yeah, of course not…well, thank you and have a nice day."

I closed the door behind me and walked back into the kitchen, already ripping the yellow envelope open.

Most of the stuff that was written in the letter inside of it was too complicated for me to understand but the last paragraph made it pretty obvious what it was all about.

_Custody claim concerning the child named Elizabeth Charlotte Cullen_

My hands started trembling and the piece of paper slipped through my fingers, while I desperately tried to continue breathing in and out very deeply to fight the dizziness.

"Bella, are you okay?"

I shook my head and sat down on the chair next to Ali. She wrapped her dainty arms around me and I buried my face against her shoulder for a moment.

"It's starting." I croaked out.

"He's really doing it."

"He's doing what?" Emmett asked me curiously while he sipped on the glass of coke in his hands.

"Trying to get custody for Lilly…"

**XXXX**

"Mrs. Cullen, you really don't have to worry too much about this ridiculous letter."

I sighed deeply and wiped the last tears on my cheeks away with the back of my hand.

"I'm sorry that I cry so much. It's embarrassing."

"No, that's okay. I understand that the situation is difficult for you, Mrs. Cullen."

I cringed slightly and remembered that I had wanted to ask her about the name thing too.

"Ahm Miss Penthes?"

"Yes?"

"I'd like to change my family name back to my maiden name if that's possible?"

"Hmm, of course you can do that. You just have to fill out one of these here."

She handed me a form and when I wrote down my old name it felt kind of relieving.

"Your maiden name is Swan?" Ali asked me while she twisted a wisp of my hair around her dainty fingers.

"I kind of like that, it fits you really well."

Yeah of course it does, I thought. Swans are supposed to be graceful and not as clumsy as I am.

"My brother won't get custody for Lilly, will he?" Ali asked Zafrina anxiously while she continued biting her fingernails.

"Probably not; normally the custody always goes to the mother unless she can't properly take care of the child or something like that."

Zafrina cleared her throat before she continued.

"Miss Cullen, I know that this is none of my business, but you really should re-think your decision about not pressing charges against your brother."

Ali sighed deeply and I took her hand in mine to squeeze it gently.

"I can't do that. No matter what he has done…Edward is still my brother. It would kill my mother if he'd end up in jail. What if something happens to him while he's inside there?"

"Miss Cullen, you shouldn't think too much about what could happen while he's in jail. The chances that he'll even get a prison sentence are close to nothing. It will probably end with a suspended sentence anyway."

"But he would lose his accreditation, wouldn't he?"

"Yeah, but only for the state of Washington…look, Miss Cullen, if you don't press charges it's like your secretly saying that what he did to you was not that bad."

"It was…god, this is so damn complicated. I'm so pissed at him for what he did to me…for what he's doing to Bella with this custody crap and on the other hand I'm still so worried about him. Do you think that it's possible to love and hate one person at the same time?"

Zafrina nodded her head.

"Hmm, of course it is. Well, you don't have to make your decision now. Think of it and feel free to contact me if you want to know anything."

"Kay, I'll do that."

The loud barking of the dog made me almost jump from my chair.

As fast as possible I walked out into the garden where I was greeted by an almost livid looking Edward, a sobbing Lilly and a dog that looked as if he had been set free straight from hell just moments ago.

"What do you think you're doing here, Edward?" My voice raised two octaves and I cursed myself for the embarrassing tremble in it.

"Getting my things and _my_ child!" Then he turned to Lilly again who had hidden her tiny face in the fluffy russet colored fur of the dog.

"Daddy, I don't want to go. Uncle Emmett said that I could play here with Fido until he comes back from the pharmacy."

Edward growled angrily. It was pretty obvious that he didn't have the nerves to discuss things with her now.

"For the last time now, Lilly; get into the car this moment before I make you! Why the hell do you have to be as stubborn as your stupid mother?"

"Mommy, do I have to go with him? I want to stay here."

"No, don't have to. Stay where you are."

"Lilly Cullen, get into this fucking car right now!"

"Edward, you can't just show up here and take the child with you."

He stepped closer to me, his emerald green eyes narrowing into tiny slits that made him look like a snake ready to attack its prey.

"Who's going to stop me? She's my child as much as yours and I can take her with me whenever I want to!"

A low growl left the dog's throat as Edward grabbed Lilly's hand to pull her towards the car.

"Ouch! Daddy let me go. I want to stay here!"

"Mr. Cullen, what do you think you're doing here? This behavior is completely inappropriate. Let go of the child. Can't you see that you're scaring her?" Zafrina asked him as she and Ali walked out of the house.

"Mind your own damn business! I don't have to take any shit from a wannabe attorney who just got her diploma because she fucked her professor or something like that."

Zafrina's lips twitched for a moment, but when she spoke up again, her voice was still calm.

"Mr. Cullen, I swear if you put the child in your car now. I'll make sure the next time you'll see her, will be at her High school graduation."

"You, stupid bitch, how dare you!"

She chuckled slightly and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Try to calm down a bit. You're scaring the child, can't you see that?"

"Edward, please let her go." Ali's voice was so low that it was barely audible. Was she still scared of him?

He inhaled sharply through his teeth.

"Lilly, say goodbye to your mother and get into the car."

"No, I don't want to! Please, Daddy let me stay here."

Edward sighed deeply and tried to pull her closer towards the car while she sobbed desperately.

A moment later he landed flat on his back with the dog growling angrily above him.

"Get the mutt off of me!"

He put his arm in front of his face in an attempt to protect it from the sharp teeth.

"Ouch!" he cried out as the dog started ripping on the thin material of his jacket.

"Fido, let go!" Emmett instructed and pulled the snarling dog off of him.

"That monster of a mutt almost killed me." Edward croaked out as he stood up from the ground again.

"No, he wouldn't. Fido just doesn't like you."

"The mutt is dangerous to public safety, but I already told Rose about that."

Then he turned to Lilly again, who was standing between me and Ali now.

"Come with me, Lilly. I'll buy you this dollhouse that you wanted to have."

"Really?"

"Edward, what kind of crap is that? Are you trying to bribe the kid with gifts now?"

"Mind your own damn business, Em! You don't know a thing about this. Lilly is my child! I won't let Bella take her away from me."

"She's not trying to take her away from you, you moron…but if you continue acting like a maniac…"

"Shut up! It's your fault that I had to spend the last few days among criminals."

"Buddy, you can't blame me because you don't know how to treat a woman properly. What you did to Ali was wrong, can't you see that?"

"It was not. I wished I had broken her stupid neck instead of her ribs! And as for treating women properly…at least I know how to knock up a girl!"

A low growl left Emmett's throat and his brown eyes turned pitch black.

"Say that again! I'm going to break every fucking bone in your body for that! I'm going to rip your heart out and feed it to the dog!"

His hands were trembling slightly and when his fist connected with Edward's nose it left a trail of crimson colored blood on his white shirt.

Edward raised his hand to reply the punch but Emmett grabbed it and turned it around forcefully, before he shoved my ex down to the grass again.

For a moment a shiver of fear went down my spine. Emmett could really hurt Edward, he had been trained to do that and I wasn't keen on letting Lilly witness her father getting killed by her uncle.

"Emmett, please let him go. He didn't mean it…" Ali croaked out hoarsely.

Edward's jaw made an awful cracking noise and when he gasped for air again, he spit out one of his back teeth.

"Em, please, let him go. You're killing him!"

Emmett raised his head while his hand stayed grabbed around Edward's throat.

"I will, if you press charges against him."

"You can't ask her to sue me, you idiot. But you can bet that I'm going to sue you!"

"Don't be so sure about that. It'll be hard for you to do that when you're dead!"

"Emmett, please. You can't do that. He's the brother of your wife."

"Promise to press charges, Ali or I'll make sure that he's going to survive on liquid food for the next months!"

My eyes met hers caramel ones and I knew without a doubt that it was possible to love and hate a person concurrently. She hated Edward for what he had done to her but on the other hand she still loved him because he was her brother.

Hesitantly she nodded her head.

"Okay, I will."


	32. Chapter 32

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. I'm glad that some of you like reading my little story here. I know that it's pretty unrealistic but I have fun writing that way and as long as you want me to I'll continue with it.

This chapter is dedicated to **Silvi86** for being my 600th reviewer. Thanks so much for leaving such nice reviews; I really appreciate it a lot.

****Chapter 32****

"How long will we have to wait for the stupid shrink to finally show up here? This is totally not acceptable to keep us waiting here for so long." Zafrina asked the police officer impatiently while I started rocking Lilly back and forth on my lap.

"Mommy, I'm tired. Can't we go home now?"

"Soon, sweetie…"

"Miss Penthes, is it really necessary that Lilly talks to the police too?"

She nodded her head.

"Yes, it is and they're not allowed to talk to her without the presence of a psychologist. It's pretty ridiculous. Everyone knows that most shrinks aren't quite right in their own heads…"

"So, everyone knows that, hmm?" Jasmine snarled at her as she entered the office.

"Ahm, I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have said that, Miss ahm?"

"Whitlock. You don't need to apologize for saying what you think."

"Kay. Well, I'm Zafrina Penthes…I'm the attorney."

"Oh, I see. That explains a lot Miss Penthes."

"So…what does it explain?"

Jasmines lips twitched into a crooked smile while she twisted her honey blonde curls into a knot at the back of her neck.

"A lot, actually. But, I think that we should get started now."

She sat down on the chair next to me and Lilly and cleared her voice.

"Hi Lilly, you remember me, don't you?"

My daughter raised her head from my shoulder and nodded her head.

"Yeah, I do. You work in the hospital but you're not a doctor."

"Hmm, that's right, Lilly. Do you know why you're here Lilly?"

"Because Daddy and Uncle Emmett hit each other…"

"Why aren't you typing?" Zafrina asked the police officer.

"Write down what she's saying."

"Ma'am, it's doesn't matter what the child knows about the incident between Mr. Cullen and Mr. McCarthy. This here is just about the fact that you want a restraining order that keeps Mr. Cullen away from his daughter and his wife."

"Yeah, I know. You still should write it down though."

"Ma'am, I'm not your secretary."

"Please, don't fight. Just ask Lilly what you need to ask her so that I can take her home with me again."

"Fine, Miss Swan. We'll do that."

"Lilly, can you tell me what your father said to you when he showed up at your house?"

"That I should come to stay at Grandma's house with him…"

I pulled her closer to me and twisted a wisp of her copper hair around my fingers.

"And then?"

"I told him that I wanted to stay home to play with Fido and he got angry." Her voice was barely a whisper now.

"What do you mean he got angry?" The police officer asked her impatiently.

"He…he…,"

"Stop talking to her so rudely. Can't you see that you're intimidating the child?" Zafrina snarled at him and his face turned into a crimson red.

"I didn't mean to Ma'am, but we're not used to question little kids."

"Let me ask her then, if that's okay with you?"

He nodded his head.

"Lilly, when you told your father that you didn't want to come with him, did he yell at you?"

"Hmm, yes he did. I don't like it when someone yells at me. It scares me."

"Yeah, I can understand that, Lilly. Did he do something else apart from yelling?"

"He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me to the car."

"Did he hurt you?"

"I don't know." She mumbled and started rubbing her forearm thoughtlessly.

"Lilly, would you like to have a bracelet like those I'm wearing?" Jasmine asked her and I wondered why the hell she was doing this right now. Had Ali told her anything about Lilly's upcoming birthday? No, why should she…

"Yeah, I'd loved to. Auntie Rosie lets me wear her bracelets too when I'm at her house."

"You have to show me your arm, Lilly, so that I can see if it will fit you."

"Kay."

She pulled up the sleeve of her shirt and when I saw the purple bruises on her wrist I inhaled sharply between my teeth.

"Take a picture of that. I want it to be documented that he hurt his daughter."

The police officer pulled out an old-fashioned Polaroid camera and took several shoots of Lilly's arm.

"Why is he taking pictures, Mommy?"

"Because…because…" because your father has turned into a lunatic and I have to keep him away from you. God, this is so messed up.

"Mommy?"

"I don't know, sweetie. Maybe he just likes taking pictures." Jeez, I sucked at lying.

"Your mother is right, Lilly. He just likes taking pictures." Zafrina explained to her and forced her full lips into the weak attempt of a smile.

"Is that enough?"

"Is it enough for what Ma'am?"

"The restraining order, of course."

"Am, yeah, I think so. We'll inform Mr. Cullen that he has to keep a distance of at least twenty meters…"

"Fifty would be better."

"Fine, it makes you happy. You'll get fifty meters."

I wondered if they would really be enough…

**XXXX**

"Are you okay?" I whispered into Ali's ear as I hugged her from behind.

"I don't know, Bella." She croaked out before she started sobbing in my arms.

I turned her around and pulled her closer to me, carefully making sure that I wouldn't put too much pressure on her injured ribs.

"You're not regretting that you pressed charges against your brother, do you?"

She shook her head.

"No, I don't…or I do…I'm not really sure anymore."

Slowly I cupped her face between my hands and wiped away a few tears from her pale cheeks.

"It was the right thing to do, Ali. Stop worrying too much about what is going to happen now."

"That's easy to say, Bella. My parents will be so pissed at me for doing that."

"Try to stop thinking about Carlisle and Esme. This is not about them. It's about you and what Edward did to you. He didn't even apologize that he put you in the hospital, for crying out loud."

"Yeah, I know, Bella. God, I wished I could just run away from all this crap. It's like I can't breathe anymore."

"I'm so sorry about this whole mess. If there is anything that I can do for you, you'll tell me. Will you?"

She nodded her head hesitantly.

"My sister wasn't too happy to hear that Emmett broke our brother's nose but then she paid the bail without blinking twice."

"That's good to hear. I'm glad Emmett won't have to spend the night in jail."

"He wouldn't. He and Riley were playing cards when Rosalie showed up at the police office to pick him up."

"Must be good to know the right people, I guess." I mumbled while I walked over to the sofa and sat down on it with a sigh.

"Yeah, that's right. I think that Emmett knows Riley from his time in the military, but I'm not sure."

I pulled her on my lap and planted a soft kiss upon her neck while I tried to inhale as much of her scent as possible.

"I'm glad that you showered." I mumbled.

"Now you don't smell like hospital anymore."

She chuckled slightly.

"Well, I've heard better compliments before…but not in the last time."

Then she leaned forward and kissed my mouth tenderly. A low moan escaped my throat as she sucked my lower lip between her teeth to nibble on it. How, I had missed to be able to kiss her. It was strange that I already felt such a strong connection to her although we hadn't known each other for very long.

"I love you, Ali." I mumbled against the soft skin of her neck before I placed a few featherlike kisses on her collarbone.

"I love you too, Bella, so very much. Promise me that you won't leave me."

"Ali, of course, I'm not going to leave you. Why are you so afraid that I could do that? You're probably…no, not probably; you're definitely the best thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. I never thought that someone could care for me the way you do. I'm clumsy and fat and…"

"Don't call yourself fat, Bella. You know that I don't like that."

She stroked over my hips and my stomach until she finally wrapped her fingertips around the amber heart around my neck.

"You have my heart and now you can do with it whatever you want to."

"And you have mine, Ali." I whispered before I covered her lips with mine again. I kissed her slowly, almost hesitantly. Enjoying the sudden increase of my heartbeat as the tip of my tongue nudged against hers.

"Bella, can I ask you for something?"

"Of course, you can. Whatever you want, I'll make it yours."

"I don't want you to buy me anything, but I was serious when I told you that I wished we could just run away."

"You want to run away? Seriously? Aren't we a little bit too old to do something like that?"

She nodded her head.

"Desperate times ask for desperate measures. We really need some time away from my family. Please, Bella, I don't want to have to face my parents in the next days. My mother will probably cry and my father…well, you know how he thinks about the fact that we're together now."

"Hmm, yeah I know. But where should we go."

"Come on, Swan girl. Where's your sense of adventure?"

"Don't suggest hiking. I'm really not that outdoorsy."

"I hate hiking. Can't we go just take a little road trip or something like that? I need to buy new rolls of cloth anyway and we could do that during our trip."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Paris would be awesome. You'd love Paris, but I guess that would be a little bit above our budget."

"Hmm, yeah…a little bit." Or a little bit more, who cares. God, I really needed to do something about the job problem.

"Penny for your thoughts…" Ali whispered after a few awkward moments of silence.

"I was just thinking about the fact that I still need to find a job."

"You'll get one. Don't worry too much about it."

"Zafrina says that Edward needs to pay support for me and Lilly but I really don't want to take his money. It makes me feel as if I still depend on him."

"Bella, no matter how much it annoys you. He'll have to pay...at least for the little one."

I nodded my head.

"Yes, I know, Ali. Isn't that weird? Now he can't even come near his own daughter anymore."

"That's a good thing, I guess. My brother is…well, he seems almost crazy to me. It's frightening. How can he hate me so much? What have I done to him?" her voice almost cracked at the end.

"It's my fault, Ali. He only is so angry because you're with me now. And I don't really understand it. He never really cared about me."

"He married you, Bella. That means he…,"

"That means nothing. Marriage is just a piece of paper. And I think that he only proposed to me because I was pregnant. Who knows, maybe your father even made him do it."

"I don't think so, Bella. That's just too much even for Carlisle."

I twisted a curl of her short hair around my fingers. It was so dark that the light of the lamp above us added a bluish shimmer on it.

"Your hair is so pretty."

She shook her head.

"I like yours better, Bella. It feels like silk. You have to promise me that you won't cut it off."

I promise, Ali."

I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Are you sure that you want to go out of town for a couple of days? I don't want to leave Lilly here to stay with your sister and Emmett. Although they would surely love to take care of her, she's the closest to an own child they'll probably ever have."

"Bella, I really think that we need that; all three of us. Lilly is so confused because of this whole situation. I don't want her to think that I'm the reason why she can't see her father right now."

"Ali, it's not your fault. Stop blaming you. It's Edward's fault that he reacted like a complete moron. When I saw the bruises on Lilly's wrist, I wanted to punch him right into his broken nose again."

She planted soft kisses all over my face.

"I don't think that you could hit anyone. That's just not who you are."

"But, I want to protect you. I bet if Jasmine had been in the same room with you, she would have knocked him unconscious for what he did to you."

"Why are you mentioning, Jazz right now?"

Probably because she was completely pissed at me when I talked to her in front of the police office? And your life would be so much easier if you would be with her instead of me…No, Bella don't think too much about that. Ali said that she wants to be with you…

"Bella? She didn't say anything rude to you, did she? Look, I know that she's protective and I really don't need that from my girlfriend."

I pulled her closer and buried my face against her neck, while I hoped that I could be everything that she would ever need…

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] Tell me what you think of the idea of the girls getting out of town for a few days. Any suggestions where they could go? Until next time…take care


	33. Chapter 33

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers out there. Thanks for supporting my little soap opera/fanfic with your reviews. I really appreciate all of them a lot. It's because of you that I keep writing this story.

This one is dedicated to **beelotus** and **aquarius127** for their helpful suggestions about where the girls could go.

*Lemon alert – as usual; don't like/ don't read.*

****Chapter 33****

"Mommy, are we there yet?" Lilly asked me impatiently from the backseat, carelessly throwing her coloring book back on the backpack that was lying next to her.

"No, we're not, sweetie. Try to sleep a little bit."

"But I'm not tired." She mumbled, her voice reaching the shrill overtired tone that made it pretty obvious to me that she would fall asleep in the next couple of minutes.

Ali put her left hand on my thigh and started stroking up and down on the rough fabric of my jeans. Then she leaned over and planted a soft kiss upon my cheek.

"I think that we should make a little break now. You haven't eaten anything the whole day."

I sighed deeply and pulled out the bottle of diet coke to sip on it.

"That awful stuff doesn't count as food. Don't tell me that you're not hungry, Bella."

Of course, I'm hungry. I'm always hungry…and it won't help me with my goal to lose weight.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

She took my hand in hers and put it to her lips to plant kisses all over my knuckles. Her warm breath tickled my skin, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine.

"I don't like it when you starve yourself. Can't you see that I really like you the way you are?"

I squeezed her hand and started circling my thumb over her dainty wrist.

"If people tell me ugly things about myself it's way easier for me to believe them. Isn't that embarrassing?"

Her eyes narrowed for a moment and she swallowed hard before she spoke up again.

"I hate it that my brother treated you like crap for such a long time. Why did you stay with him?"

"Well, I think it was mostly because of Lilly. My own parents got divorced and it was awful for me. I never wanted that for my own child."

"I'm sorry, Bella. If I hadn't…"

"Ali, don't you dare to finish that sentence. I'm so glad to have you in my life. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. You bring out the best in me."

She twisted a wisp of my long hair around her fingers and started massaging my neck with her fingertips.

"And you bring out the best in me. Before I met you, I thought that I could never trust anyone again, but with you it's…well; it's just different with you."

"I guess different is good…" I mumbled while I pulled the car over to park it in front of a huge rest stop.

Ali stepped out and I wrapped my arms around my sleeping daughter to wake her up.

"Are we there yet?"

A low chuckle left Ali's throat and she hugged me tightly for a moment.

"Why are you laughing?"

She leaned over and whispered into my ear.

"Lilly, kind of reminds me of that donkey in Shrek."

"It's normal that she's so impatient. I think that she inherited that from me."

"Auntie Ali, are we there yet? I want to see Cinderella!"

"No, sweetie, we're not even in California yet, but we're going to make a little break here."

Lilly rubbed her eyes and stumbled out of the car. I lifted her up on my arm and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Are you happy that we're going to Disneyland, sweetie?" I asked her as we entered the building that smelled a little bit too much of disinfection spray, at least it seemed to be clean.

"Hmm, yes I am, but I wished that we could have taken Fido with us."

For a moment I wondered if I should probably get her puppy for her birthday. She would be so thrilled about that...

"You can sit down with the little one and I'll get us something to eat." Ali told me and I instantly missed the touch of her hand in mine as she walked over to the counter.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Lilly. Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

She shook her head stubbornly.

"Why was Daddy so angry at me?"

I inhaled sharply through my teeth and pulled her on my lap.

"He's not really angry at you, sweetie. It's just…" it's just that he's a cholerically asshole. But of course I couldn't tell her that. I would rather bite my own tongue…

"Fries or fries?" Ali asked cheerfully as she sat down on the plastic chair next to us.

"They had some burgers too but they didn't look too good to me. I don't want you to get sick. It's enough that Rose got the stomach flu…"

"Fries are fine, thanks Ali."

I kissed her cheek before I dipped one of the greasy fries into the mayonnaise and nibbled on it. One after the other disappeared in my mouth until the unpleasant growling in my stomach finally stopped.

**XXXX**

The hot water of the shower poured down on my body while Ali started adding some of my strawberry shampoo into the length of my hair. Her fingertips stroked down my back in smooth movements until she reached the roundness of my hips. Slowly she turned me around and I cupped her face between my hands.

"I love showering with you." she whispered breathlessly against my mouth before she kissed me tenderly.

Hesitantly I reached out my hand to stroke over the lilac bruises on the side of her body, they were already starting to turn into an ugly yellowish color and I couldn't wait for them to disappear completely.

"Are you still in pain?" I asked her anxiously.

She nodded her head.

"It's not that bad anymore. You don't need to worry about me, Bella."

Slowly I pulled her closer to me and my nipples hardened as her perky breasts nudged against my upper body.

Her fingertips found the tiny nub and when she squeezed it gently between her thumb and her forefinger a low moan escaped my throat.

The tingly feeling between my legs increased when her other hand stroked down my stomach. I leaned down and licked off the tiny pearls of water that were pouring down her collarbone. My tongue swirled over the rosy nipples before I sucked one of it between my lips and she whimpered slightly.

"Bella…"

God, how much I loved the way she said my name when her voice was thick with lust.

My legs felt like yell-o as I kneeled down in front of her and parted her thighs; slowly I caressed the velvety skin until my palm brushed against her slick folds.

I held her open with two of my fingers and took a moment to enjoy the beautiful sight of her above me.

Like a flower…or no, not like flower really…but beautiful and intoxicating at the same time…

My tongue darted out and licked the entire slit from the top to the bottom and back again. When I reached the tiny pearl she cried out in pleasure. Her hands twisted into my hair in an attempt to pull my head even closer against her overheated flesh.

"Yes, just like that." She whispered hoarsely as the tip of my tongue circled over her throbbing clit. Her essence tasted sweeter than I remembered it. God, she was delicious. A shiver went through my entire body as the honey like sweetness poured down my throat. I licked her greedily and sucked her inner labia between my lips while I shoved two of my fingers inside of her, feeling her stretch around them.

I wished that she would be able to touch me too, but I knew that it was impossible in this position. Yet I needed to do something against the unbearable aching for relief between my legs.

"Touch yourself for me, Bella." Her voice was trembling slightly now and I knew that she close as more of her sweet essence poured out of her tight entrance.

I started rubbing myself in quick movements, circling my thumb over my clit. Ali's inner walls tightened around my fingers inside her and then she collapsed on top of me. Her climax triggered my own and I was glad that the sound of the shower pouring down on us drowned out my moans.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face against my shoulder.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"Don't think that's possible." I mumbled before I planted a kiss upon the wet curls of her hair.

We sat there, holding each other until the water above us turned cold.

**XXXX**

"Do you want coffee?" Ali asked me as she sat down next to me and put her arm around my shoulder.

I nodded my head and rubbed my tired eyes.

"You're really not a morning person, Bella." She stated and put a wisp of my hair behind my ear.

"Not, if you and my daughter decide that six A.M. is a good time to stand up."

She chuckled slightly and kissed the sensitive skin right above my hairline.

"Sleepyhead…"

"Did I snore again?" I asked her while I nibbled halfheartedly on the piece of toast in front of me.

"Yes, you did. It's cute actually. And just for the record; Lilly snores too. I think she inherited that from you."

"Auntie Ali, do I really snore?" to my amusement it sounded as if she was proud of it.

"Hmm, yes you do, sweetie. Do you want me to braid your hair?"

"Yes please!" she called out and dropped her glass of orange juice over the table.

I sighed deeply and started wiping it up with a few napkins.

"You were right when you told me that you are used to cleaning up other people's mess, weren't you?"

"Usually it's just Lilly's." I mumbled and sat down again, my hands twisting into the spikey ends of her hair.

She pulled Lilly on her lap.

"You and I we have to help your Mommy more when we get home, will we?"

Lilly nodded her head and grabbed the peanut butter sandwich on Ali's plate.

"Auntie Ali, have you been to Disneyland before?"

"Once or twice when I was little, I remember throwing up on your Auntie Rosie during a carrousel ride. I guess it wasn't that funny for her."

"Can we write her and Uncle Emmett a card when we're there?"

"Sure we can, if you want to, sweetie." She told her cheerfully and started combing her copper hair before she started braiding it with skilled movements.

"You're really good at that."

"I'm good at a lot of things, Bella."

"I know, Ali. You're especially good at kissing, aren't you?"

"Maybe you should test that..."

I leaned over and planted a kiss on her full lips. She smiled against my mouth before she slipped the tip of her tongue between my slightly parted lips. Her tongue nudged against mine and I cupped her pretty face between my hands to pull her closer to me. A shiver went down my spine and for a moment I completely forgot that we were in a public place right now.

"Just look at that. Now they're even starting to let these freaks adopt kids. It's such a shame."

A low growl left Ali's throat as she pulled back from the kiss. Her caramel eyes narrowed into angry slits as we looked at the red-haired woman in front of us. She seemed to be in her late thirties and was probably twice my size. Her shirt was too tight around her waist.

"Excuse me, Ma'am, but I don't think what we're doing here is your damn business!"

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently in an attempt to calm her down.

"Perverts like you shouldn't be allowed to adopt children. They're going to get all confused in the head."

Ali stood up from the chair and for a split second I was worried that she would punch the woman straight into her bloated face.

"And people like you shouldn't have kids because they could turn out as narrow-minded as you."

"You'll rot in hell for your sins!"

"You should better make sure that I don't send you there in the next minutes…" her crystal voice raised two octaves.

"Ali, just forget it. It doesn't matter what she thinks about us."

I lifted Lilly up from the chair and pulled Ali after me. It seemed stupid and weak to me run away from this confrontation. But was running away from our problems not was we were doing right now anyway?

"Mommy, why was the woman so angry at us?"

"It doesn't matter, Lilly. Just forget it. She was probably just unhappy with her own life and wanted others to be miserable too."

I opened the door of the car to set her down in her booster seat. She pulled two of her Barbie dolls out of her backpack and nudged their heads against each other while she made kissing noises to it.

My face turned into a crimson red color as I closed the door behind her again.

"We're really influencing her, aren't we?" I asked Ali as I leaned back against the hood of the Volvo.

She cupped my face between her dainty hands and stroked down my cheekbones with her fingertips.

"Are you worried about that, Bella?"

"No…yes, I don't really know. She's starting to understand that our relationship is different."

"Bella, she'll come around. Children are way more likely to accept people that are different than adults."

Her gaze softened as I wrapped my arms around her delicate waist again.

"You and I we belong together." She whispered so low that I could barely hear her words at all.

Slowly I leaned forward to plant another kiss on her mouth and I didn't care at all who might be able to see us right now.


	34. Chapter 34

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review. It really means a lot to me. I appreciate your kind words a lot. They motivate me to continue writing, so please keep them coming.

This chapter is dedicated to **samaramorgane**, **Kyraaah1992** and **Hayley **for liking the Barbie part with Lilly. I have a lot of fun writing her character, so there is more to come…

Sorry about the chapter length. I know that it's short…but better a short chapter than none at all. Don't you think?

****Chapter 34****

_Ali's POV_

I sat down on the small balcony that belonged to the hotel room and watched the dark sky above me turn into a bright orange color that made my pale skin look two shades darker.

It was still cold and so I wrapped my jacket around my shoulder as I pulled out my cell to check if I had any missed calls on it.

The first three calls were from my mother and I deleted them without even bothering to listen. It was obvious what they would be about. How could you? Why did you? Yeah, that kind of stuff, probably…

Had she asked **him** those questions too? And if she had, what would he have told her?

I wondered if she and Carlisle would consider forgiving me for pressing charges against my brother, if he didn't end up in jail. But what if he did? Damn it, Ali, try not to think too much about that…

The next one was from Jazz.

"_Hey, beautiful girl… How about answering your cell? You're not still angry at me for what I said to you in the hospital, are you? Look, Ali. I just don't want you to get hurt again...You know that I know you better than anyone. Can't you see that I'm trying to protect you? Well, just call me back if you feel like talking…or yelling. You're cute when you yell, did you know that? Take care. I love you."_

I pressed the delete button and sighed deeply. It couldn't be that she was still in love with me, could it? She had had about five different girlfriends since we broke up. Yes, Jazz was a little bit in love with the idea of love, but I didn't understand why she was suddenly showing such an immense interest in me again. Was it because Bella and I were having that kind of relationship that she secretly wished for? No, that didn't make sense to me…

After sipping on the glass of coke in front of me, I flipped through the several texts my sister had sent to me.

_*Hope you're well. Mom called. She's freaking. Call her back. Will you? R.*_

_*So you didn't call back. Fine, you know how much I hate it when Mom cries. Call her or I'll make sure she's going to live in your house when she's old and senile.*_

_*Ali, do me a favor and call our mother before she makes me crazy. LU R.*_

No way, I thought while I dialed Rosalie's number. She would be awake now anyway, probably being returned from her morning jog with the mutt.

After the third ringing she picked up, it sounded as if she was eating something while she spoke.

"Morning, Tinker-Ali."

Jeez, always that stupid nick name. I think that she loved it that it made me furious when she used it.

"Hi, Rose. How are you feeling?"

"Hmm, let's see. Mom called me eight times yesterday, because you turned off your cell. She's worried that Edward will end up in jail." I'm worried about that too…

"Rose, don't you think that I already know that?"

"I didn't mean it like that. It was right that you pressed charges against him. If I were you...I would have probably done the same. Or well, Em would have talked me in to it, I guess."

"Did you tell that our parents?"

"No, I didn't. You see, this is difficult for me too. Everyone expects me to take sides and I don't feel like I can do that."

"I'm sorry about that Rose."

"Don't have to be. I just wished that Mom wouldn't be so sad about this all the time."

"Dad is pretty pissed at me, isn't he?"

"That's putting it mildly. Carlisle is furious; especially because Em broke Edward's nose."

Crap…just what I needed to hear right now.

"Em told me that I should just hang up on him if he continues throwing such a tantrum about this whole situation. This is not about Carlisle. It's just about you and Edward."

Something sizzled in the background. What the hell was that?

"What are you doing right now? Trying to burn down your house?"

"I'm making breakfast. Eggs and bacon…and pancakes…"

"Don't you usually only eat fruit salad in the morning?"

"You start sounding like Em. He made some really stupid comments that my boobs are starting to look bigger. God, I don't want to gain weight."

Why the hell did women have to bother with their weight all the time? What difference could a few pounds more or less make?

"I don't know what's wrong with me. If I continue stuffing down so many calories I'll get fat like a cow. But I'm always hungry, like a bottomless pit. It's embarrassing."

"Maybe you've starved yourself for too long and now your body is simply forcing you to give it what it craves for."

"I don't know. But I have discovered that I actually enjoy cooking. Did you know that scrambled eggs taste a lot better if you put mustard on it?"

"Rose, that doesn't sound very tasty."

"Trust me, it's delicious."

"Hmm,"

"Do you know when you come back to Seattle?"

"In a few days…Bella thought that it would be a good idea to celebrate Lilly's birthday in Disneyland."

"Yeah, she'll love that. Can you give me the address of your hotel? Em will send the present we bought for her over with Fed Ex."

"What are you getting her?"

"Ahm…I think Em bought some new Barbie dolls for her."

Great, I thought, more Barbie dolls to play girl-kissing with them. I wondered what my parents would say if they saw her do it…

**XXXX**

Jasmine had asked me once, I think it was on our fifth date or something like that, if I was planning on having kids of my own. I remember that I had rolled my eyes at that, while she desperately had tried not to look totally pissed at me. The whole situation had been awkward for both of us and when I told her that I didn't want to have kids; not now and not in ten years or any other time, she had unbelievingly shaken her head.

"_But you're the born mother, Ali. You just don't know it yet."_

The thing was that I didn't want to risk a child to be born with my stupid heart condition. Wouldn't that be terribly selfish? So I had settled myself for a life without children, focusing mainly on my career…or what was meant to become a career. And I was happy with that, never feeling like I was missing something.

But now that I was holding my copper-haired niece in my arms, her tiny head resting against my chest, I wondered if Jazz could have been right about my hidden maternal instincts.

Slowly I started rocking her back and forth on my lap while I hummed a lullaby that my mother had sung to me when I was little.

"Smile for me." Bella whispered and when I raised my head, the flashlight of the camera blinded me for a moment.

"Why are you taking pictures?" I asked her, trying to keep my voice as low as possible.

"I'm sorry…but the two of you are just too cute together."

She wrapped her arms around my shoulder and planted a soft kiss on the sensitive skin on my neck, her touch sending a pleasant shiver down my spine.

"You can put her down now, if you want to. She won't wake up."

I stood up from the sofa and carried Lilly to the bed that squeaked slightly when I laid her down on it.

"So stubborn…she wanted so much to stay awake until midnight."

"She's excited about her birthday and I'll hope that your sister won't tell Edward where we are. He would have the nerves to show up here and spoil everything."

"What about the restraining order?"

"Oh yeah right, I almost forgot about that…" she mumbled halfheartedly.

Forgot about it? Well, I guess it was something that she preferred not to think about too much…

Bella took my hand in hers and started rubbing small circles on my wrist as she guided me to the other room and closed the door behind us.

I cupped her face between my hands and covered her mouth with mine, while the tip of my tongue licked over her plump lower lip that felt smooth like silk underneath it.

A low moan escaped her throat when my tongue nudged against hers and a shiver went down my spine as I felt her hand circling over the small stripe of bare skin on my back.

I took two steps backwards until I felt the cold metal frame of the bed against the hollow of my knees.

"I love you." She whispered against my lips as we sat down on the edge of the bed.

Her hands slipped under my top that landed on the thick carpet next to us.

I unbuttoned her shirt, caressing each inch of her creamy skin with my fingertips until I cupped her full breasts in my hands.

God, how much I loved to touch her like this. She was so soft and warm and I couldn't believe that she didn't like the way she looked like. If I had breasts like that I would be spending half of my day fumbling on myself.

My lips twitched into a smile while I circled my thumb over the sensitive skin of her nipples that hardened under my caress.

Then I raised my head, because she was so unusually quiet next to me.

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"Are you okay?"

She nodded her head and stroked up and down my thigh in smooth movements. I realized that she looked incredibly tired. Why didn't she tell me that she wanted to sleep?

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"You're tired, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am, but it doesn't matter…we can still…well…if you want to…" she mumbled against my neck while she continued stroking my thighs so lightly that she was barely touching me.

I grabbed my hand around her wrist to stop her.

"No."

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked me anxiously when she saw the expression on my face.

"Bella, you look as if you're about to fall asleep any minute. We don't have to make love tonight, if you don't feel like it."

"But you want to do it, Ali. I don't want you to be disappointed…"

I raised one eyebrow.

"Disappointed? You're kidding me, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. Look, Ali. I want to be everything that you need, whenever you need it. You're so pretty and you could be with anyone else. I don't want to…"

"Bella, I want to be with you and no one else. You have to stop doubting my feelings for you. This…," I took her hand to my heart and planted soft kisses on her fingertips.

"This is not just about sex. I love you. And if you're too tired or not in the mood or whatever, you need to trust me enough to tell me about that."

"Okay,"

"I'm serious about this Bella." I told her while I wrapped my arms around her from behind and kissed her neck.

"You really don't have to worry to tell me things like that. I only want to sleep with you, if you want it as much as I want to…"

"Kay,"

Slowly she turned around and kissed my mouth tenderly.

"Can you hold me?" I whispered and rested my head against her bare shoulder while I twisted a wisp of her chestnut hair around my fingers.

She wrapped her arms around me and mumbled something that was too low for me to understand it.

"I love you…I really do."

I petted her scalp with my fingertips until she started snoring next to me and my eyes felt too heavy to keep them open…


	35. Chapter 35

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N]

Hi my lovely readers out there. This chapter was difficult for me to write and I hope that it turned out okay.

Thanks to all of you who keep reading and reviewing. It's because of you that I keep writing this story.

****Chapter 35****

"No way," Ali stated, her crystal voice sounding slightly sullen as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"There is no way I'm wearing these ridiculous wings for the rest of the day, Bella."

I suppressed a giggle and wrapped my arms around her dainty waist, planting several kisses on the exposed skin of her collarbone.

"But you look so gorgeous with them, like a real pixie. You're like Tinkerbelle with dark hair…" Sexy Tinkerbelle, I added secretly in my head. God, how much I'd love it to see her while she wore nothing apart from them. My face reddened instantly and I quickly kneeled down, pretending to be searching for something on the ground, in a lame attempt to hide my blush.

"Fine, if it makes you happy, I'll keep them on. But if you are going to call me Tinker-Ali just one single time, they'll end up in the next trash…"

"Kay." I whispered as I stood up again, twisting my hair into a ponytail.

"You know that I love you, when you're trying to be stubborn, don't you?"

I mumbled against her neck, before blowing a last kiss right under the sensitive spot below her hairline. She shivered under my caress and I stroked up and down her bare forearm with my fingertips.

"Just for the record, Ali…the wings were Lilly's idea, not mine. If she wants us to run around with plastic wings on our backs on her birthday…we'll do it."

I checked my reflection in the mirror on the wall and cringed slightly. Geez, I looked like that chubby fairy in Cinderella…

"We can go now, if you're ready, Ali."

"Lilly, sweetie, we can…" I looked around but realized that I couldn't see her anywhere in the souvenir shop.

"Lilly?"

"Lilly!"

Almost instantly a very unpleasant, panic-like feeling spread through me that literally knocked the breath out of me.

Ali put one arm on my shoulder to calm me down.

"We'll find her. Don't worry. She's probably just waiting outside of the shop."

I stumbled out of the shop, desperately trying not to freak out.

Great, just great, I thought. I could literally see the headline in front of me.

Woman loses child in Disneyland…

God, what the hell should I do now? How long would I have to wait until I could call the police? My knees felt suddenly like yell-o and I sat down on a bench in front of the shop. My eyes scanned the entire area around me. No, still no Lilly.

Ali wrapped her arms around me and stroked my back until my body finally stopped trembling.

"Bella, you need to calm down. We'll find her. She can't get lost here."

Tears started burning in my eyes and I swallowed hard to keep them from falling.

"What if she gets hurt? God, I'm such a horrible mother."

"Bella, please stop saying such stupid things to me. You're a wonderful mother and everyone knows that, even my bitchy sister."

Then suddenly a new thought flashed through my mind and my panic increased. What if Rose had slipped about where we were right now? What if Edward…

"Mommy!"

"Lilly!"

I wrapped my arms around her and sobbed against her tiny shoulder.

Mommy, why are you crying?"

"Because, because…" I croaked out as I finally managed to pull back.

"Because you scared your poor mother to death, Lilly."

"Are you and Mommy angry at me?"

"No, we're not. But you have to promise me that you won't do that again, Lilly."

"Hmm."

"I'm serious, Lilly. You can't just walk away without telling me or your Mommy where you're going."

"Okay, Auntie Ali. I was just bored because it took so long until you bought your wings."

"I know, sweetie. What do you think of them?"

"They're pretty, Auntie Ali. Mommy can you take a photo of her?"

"I have a better idea. We'll make one with all of us." Ali suggested and pulled the camera out of her handbag.

She pulled Lilly on her lap and wrapped her arm around me before she pressed the shutter release button.

"Did it work?" I asked her as she checked the camera afterwards.

"Hmm, yeah it did. Do you want to see?"

I looked down on the tiny picture in the display, touched by the fact how happy the three of us looked in it. Somehow I wished that I could protect that for the rest of my life.

**XXXX**

This is a stupid idea, I thought bitterly while I parked the car in front of Carlisle and Esme's house. This is such a stupid idea and we're going to regret it.

"Bella?" Ali asked me anxiously, wrapping her dainty hand around my wrist as we stepped out of the car.

"Yes, Ali?"

"Are you sure that you want to do this?"

I shook my head and sighed deeply.

"No, I'm not sure. But Jasmine talked Zafrina into agreeing to this; well what should we call it…discussion or whatever. I just hope that they stick to their promise that Edward won't be here."

"Rose told me that he's in Anchorage again. I wished he'd stay there. It would make our life so much easier."

"Yes, I guess it would."

Ali knocked on the door that was opened a few seconds later by Esme who instantly wrapped her arms around her.

"Oh Mary Alice, I'm so glad that you came."

"Hi mom, please stop crying."

"Okay, I'll try, but this is so sad. How could you do something so stupid like starting an affair with your sister-in-law? Your poor brother is completely miserable because of this."

A low growl left Ali's throat and she took automatically two steps backwards.

I put one arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to me.

"Esme, I know that this must come as a shock to you, but what's between me and Ali is more than just an affair."

We followed her into the living room where the rest of our 'discussion group' were already sitting around the huge oak table.

"Hi Ali, you look good." Jasmine greeted her cheerfully and planted a kiss on her cheek, before she turned to me and the smile on her face weakened a little bit. Was she angry at me? She didn't have a reason to, did she?

Zafrina cleared her voice before she spoke up.

"Miss Whitlock, when you're finished saying hello to Miss Cullen we could probably start with this psycho crap right now."

"She's actually right." Emmett stated, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"This is bullshit. And I don't know why we're here at all."

"Emmett! How can you call it bullshit? Jasmine thinks that this could help our family." Rose snarled at him while she tried to pull down her shirt that seemed to be a little too tight.

Did she gain weight or something? No that was impossible. Rosalie was one of the most disciplined people I knew.

"Rose. If your Neanderthal of a husband can't control his language…"

"Carlisle…I've already told you that this is only going to work if you're starting to accept other opinions."

"Calling it bullshit is not an opinion."

"Trust me, Mr. Cullen, it is. Mr. McCarthy is actually right, I think."

I raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"Why did you agree to this meeting, if you don't think this is going to work?"

"Miss Swan…"

"So, it's Swan again, hmm? Cullen is no longer good enough for you, is it?"

"Dad! Stop talking to Bella so rudely or we'll leave."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"You can do whatever you want to, Mary Alice. Isn't that what you always do; no matter what the consequences might be!"

"Carlisle, darling, please try to stay calm."

"Your wife is actually right about that, Mr. Cullen. Don't forget that my client and your daughter didn't need to agree to this meeting. I think that…"

"Miss Penthes, I think that you should probably try to keep your mouth shut. We're not in court here."

"Excuse me, Miss Whitlock?"

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Can we just try to get started now?"

"Kay, just start with your psycho show, Miss Whitlock, it'll be interesting enough to watch that."

Jasmine's eyes narrowed for a split second but then a smile flashed over her face. She twisted her honey blonde curls into a knot at the back of her neck and sighed deeply.

"Fine, here we go. Esme would you like to start?"

She cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"Oh Mary Alice, why are you doing this to us?" her voice was trembling slightly, as if she was trying to fight back tears.

"Mom…"

"You're destroying our entire family! It's bad enough that you're _that _way…"

"Esme, we already had that conversation six years ago. Ali didn't choose to be a lesbian. You need to learn to accept that."

"Yeah, I know, but she's so pretty. She could find a nice young man."

Ali made puking noises next to me and Jasmine chuckled slightly.

"I bet she could do that. The thing is that it wouldn't make her happy. Don't you want her to be happy Esme?"

"Of course, I want her to be happy. But…"

"No but, Esme. You can't change the way she feel about other women. It's part of who she is." Her eyes met Ali's for a split second and when I saw the blushing on her cheeks an unpleasant feeling spread through me. Was it jealousy?

"Jasmine, I thought that you're here to help us. You promised me that you would."

"Esme, I'm here because you said that you want to talk to her about the….well about the Bella situation."

"The Bella situation?" My voice raised two octaves, reaching an embarrassingly high frequency.

"There is nothing to talk about, Mom. I love Bella and I want to be with her."

"Mary Alice. Of all the women you could have chosen to be with; why her? Why did it have to be your sister-in-law?"

"She won't be my sister-in-law for long anymore."

"That's true, Miss Cullen. I've managed to accelerate proceedings. The divorce should be through in a few weeks."

I sighed in relief while Ali continued rubbing circles over my wrist with her thumb.

Rosalie pulled a bar of chocolate out of her handbag and started nibbling on it.

"Hungry again, babe? Guess, the four double cheeseburgers you had before we came here didn't really satiate you." Emmett asked her cheerfully.

"Are you trying to tell me that I look fat?" She snarled at him angrily.

"No, no…of course not; god, Rosie, I was just kidding."

"I don't have the nerves to deal with your sense of humor now, Em."

"You're too tensed in the last days, but I can't blame you for it, babe. Your mother keeps calling you dozens of times a day to complain."

"She wouldn't need to do that, if my daughter wouldn't be so incredibly selfish." Carlisle stated his voice sounding cold like ice.

"Selfish? How dare you to call me selfish. You lied to me for my entire fucking life."

"Mary Alice, please. Your father only did what he thought was right." Esme started crying again and pulled out a tissue to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"There is actually a difference between thinking what is right and being right. He's the last person on earth to judge anyone…"

"For heaven's sake, Mary Alice…you're destroying your brother's marriage..."

"Carlisle, she didn't destroy his marriage. Your moron of a son didn't need any help to do that."

"Emmett is right about that, Dad. Edward and Bella they were never meant to be. And if Ali thinks that she wants to be with her, let her. It's her choice."

"Rosalie, how can you say something so stupid? I thought that you cared about Lilly."

"Of course, I care about her. Dad, this has nothing to do with Lilly. It's just about Bella and Ali…"

"A child needs a mother and a father. Not a mother and an aunt."

"What my child needs is none of your damn business."

I stood up from my chair so quickly that it dropped on the floor.

"I don't see any point in this discussion as long as you and Esme can't start to accept the fact that Ali and I are together now. We love each other and we're going to stay together whether you like that or not."

Ali wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her.

"We're leaving. You can call me if you're ready to accept our relationship."


	36. Chapter 36

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers out there. Thanks & hugs to all of you who faved & alerted this story. I can't believe I managed it to get over 700th reviews with my little soap opera here. I wouldn't still be here writing this if you wouldn't encourage me to continue.

This one is dedicated to **queenred12**. Thanks for loving my story although Carlisle and Esme seemed to make you pretty angry in the last chapter.

****Chapter 36****

"You're not honestly jealous of Jazz, are you?" she asked me while she added another spoon of brown sugar into the cup of tea in front of her.

"Yes, no…I don't really know. The way she looks at you makes me feel awkward somehow."

"Bella…"

She leaned over and cupped my face between her dainty hands. Her gaze softened and I felt myself drowning into the depth of her caramel eyes.

"I love you, just you and no one else." Slowly she lowered her head until her sweet breath tickled the skin of my lips. A heartbeat later her mouth was on mine and I twisted my hands into the spikey curls of her hair. She tasted sweet, so incredibly sweet and a low moan escaped her throat as the tip of my tongue slipped between her slightly parted lips to taste more of her.

I pulled her on my lap and planted several kisses down her collarbone.

"I love you too and I'm sorry for being jealous."

"I think it's cute actually, but completely unnecessary. I have zero romantic interest in her. Jazz is just a friend… technically she's my best friend and I really care for her but I'm not in love with her anymore. She knows that, well I hope she knows that."

"I hope that too." I mumbled while I continued stroking up and down her back in small circles. My fingertips stroked over the small stripe of exposed skin between her shirt and her jeans. God, I wished we had enough time for that right now, but when I checked the time on the silver watch on my wrist I realized that I was already late.

"You have to go now, Bella. Are you sure that you don't want me to come with you?"

I shook my head although I wished that I could have her there with me, constantly holding my hand as if I was a little child on the first day of school.

"It's not like I never had a job interview before, I'm just a little nervous..." or a little more nervous, I added in my head. "…because it's the first one after such a long time and it's the first time in a place like _that_."

She raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"I thought you worked in bookstores before?"

I nodded my head.

"Yeah of course, I did, but only in regular bookstores and not in one for gay people."

**XXXX**

I wiped my sweaty hands on the sleeves of my shirt and took a deep breath through my nose before I opened the door of the small bookstore. Come on Bella, get your grip together. You can do that.

The first thing I realized when I walked into the shop, were the dozens of half-naked or completely naked men on the covers of several books. Jeez, what the hell was I doing here?

"Miss Swan?"

I turned around and looked at a copper skinned beauty that looked like a modern version of Pocahontas. She was beautiful in an exotic way. Her eyelashes were so long and thick that I wondered if they were actually real.

"It's nice to meet you. My name is Leah Clearwater. You spoke to my brother on the phone I guess."

I nodded my head and cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Yes, I did. So you and him own this place together? It's really beautiful."

It was cozy and crowded and smelled of old books and leather.

"Technically Seth owns most of it but as he's off to University in Florida in the fall we need to find someone who can work here while he's gone."

"So your brother is gay?" I asked her while we sat down on a small couch in a corner of the shop. God, Bella what a stupid question, are you fucking stupid? This is a gay book shop; of course the owner isn't straight.

She chuckled slightly and poured me a glass of water that I emptied in one big gulp.

"You're nervous, aren't you?"

"Yeah, kind of, Miss Clearwater, I haven't worked at all since my daughter was born."

"Hmm, I see. But you really don't need to be nervous and you can ask me whatever you want to."

"Thanks." I mumbled and forced my lips into a grimace that was meant to look like a smile.

"And as for answering your question, Miss Swan…let's just say that my brother likes other men a lot…and women. He's a little bit in love with love if you understand what I mean."

"Hmm, yeah, of course, I understand. Look, Miss Clearwater…"

"Of please call me Leah and your name is Isabella, isn't it?"

"Just Bella, please."

"Fine, Bella. So my brother told me that you've worked in a bookstore before. So I guess you know how everything works."

"Yeah, I did but to be honest. The shops I've worked before didn't sell the same kind of books that you have here."

"You don't need to be nervous about that. Benjamin our other employee can tell you the basics about them. Most people that come in here know what they want anyway."

"That's a good thing I guess."

"Hmm." She seemed to hesitate for a moment before she continued.

"You can't bring your child here while you're working. Here are too many books that are not really appropriate for little kids."

"I know, Leah. I wasn't planning on having her here with me." I knew my daughter far too much to know that she would ask me a lot of unpleasant questions if I brought her here one single time.

_Why is the man on the book naked? Why is this one wearing a mask?_ Geez, it would be far too embarrassing to have her here.

"Bella?"

"My girlfriend Ali works mainly at home. She can watch her while I'm working."

"That's good to hear. So how long have the two of you been together?"

"Just a few weeks, but it feels much longer to me. Isn't that weird?"

She shook her head and refilled the empty glass in front of me.

"Sometimes you know people for a very long time and then something happens, and it's like you suddenly discover that you didn't know them at all."

There was a bitter tone in her voice, like she was trying to suppress anger. I decided that it would be better not to ask her too much about that.

**XXXX**

I walked into the kitchen and realized that it smelled deliciously of cinnamon. My stomach started growling almost instantly. I remembered that I didn't have any breakfast before I left the house. Lilly looked up from her drawing and started biting on the end of her pencil.

"Hi Mommy, I helped Auntie Ali to make cinnamon rolls."

"Yeah, I can see that, sweetie."

"So, did you get the job, Bella?" Ali asked me cheerfully while she dipped the rolls into a milky colored frosting.

"I got it. They're taking me."

She wrapped her arms around me and planted kisses all over my face.

"Awesome. See, I told you that you'll get the job."

"Thanks for believing in me."

"I'll always believe in you, Bella." She whispered softly before she cupped my face between her hands and stroked down my jaw with her fingertips.

"I love you."

The shrill sound of the doorbell stopped me a split second before my lips nudged against hers.

"That's probably my sister. She kind of invited herself in when I told her that I'm baking cinnamon rolls."

She went to open the door while I put a wisp of my daughters copper hair behind her ear.

"You're okay with Mommy working, aren't you?"

"I don't know."

Something russet colored rushed into the room and almost managed to make Ali fall down to the ground.

"Fido!" Lilly called out and wrapped her arms around his huge neck. He licked her face and she wrinkled her little nose in disgust.

"Fido, you know that it's gross when you lick my face. Fido, stop that. Fido…"

"Come here, Fido!" Rosalie instructed as she entered the room. The dog whimpered slightly but obeyed instantly. She waved her hand at us and I realized that her hair looked pretty today. Did she get new highlights or something?

"Hi Bella, how did the job interview go?"

"Quite good actually,"

"That's good to hear." She mumbled and pulled out her cell to type a text.

Ali put one cinnamon roll on the empty plate in front of her blonde sister who started nibbling on it, carefully making sure not to burn her mouth.

"God, I'm starving. Can I have another?"

"You're quite hungry in the last time, aren't you?"

She dropped the tiny rest of the cinnamon roll down on the plate and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Yeah, I know. It's so embarrassing and Em is making fun of it all the time."

"Emmett is making fun of everything. He should consider working as a comedian when his security company ever goes broke."

"I just wished I could stop eating all the time, but everything smells so incredibly good right now and the taste…god, don't even get started on me with the taste."

"Rose, I don't think that you need to worry too much about that. It's not like you're close to being overweight or something like that."

"But I've already gained six pounds. I feel like a fat whale."

Six pounds, are you kidding me? Six more pounds would probably turn Thumbelina into a whale but not a regular woman.

Ali chuckled slightly and placed a second roll on her sister's plate. Rosalie seemed to hesitate for a moment but then she took it between her perfectly manicured fingers and nibbled on it.

"Do yo…ve…mu..rd?" she mumbled with her full mouth.

"What?"

"Do you have mustard?" she repeated and wiped her mouth on a napkin.

I raised one eyebrow.

"Yes, we have." I opened the fridge and handed her the small glass with mustard. She added a little bit on her plate and dipped the roll into the yellow mustard.

"Auntie Rosie, why are you eating your roll with mustard?"

"Because it tastes good, Lilly. Do you want to try some?"

"No, I don't. Mustard is yucky." She stated while she continued stroking the fur of the dog with her fingertips. He purred slightly but his head stayed rested on Rosalie's lap, his ear pressed against her stomach.

Rosalie's cell vibrated and started moving all over the table until she grabbed it and flipped it open.

"Hi Em."

"I'm having cinnamon rolls with mustard with Ali and Bella."

"Why are you sounding so pissed? Did my mother call again?"

"Good, I'm glad she didn't. We all need a little break, I think."

"Yeah, I missed the follow-up examination."

"God, Emmett, I was a little bit distracted getting your ass out of jail and listening to my mother's sobbing on the phone."

"What for? It's a waste of money and completely unnecessary and you know why."

"Yeah, I love you too. Bye."

She stuffed the cell back into the red leather handbag and sighed deeply.

"Is everything okay?" Ali asked her as she sat down on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her dainty waist and pulled her closer, nuzzling my nose against the hollow of her neck.

"Yeah, of course."

"What kind of follow-up examination was he talking about? You're not sick aren't you?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and sighed deeply.

"For the in-vitro stuff, but it's not a big deal. It didn't work. Damn it, I knew that it wouldn't work. I don't need my fucking gynecologist to tell me that." Her voice cracked at the end and her blue eyes looked glassy while she pushed the head of the dog off of her lap. He didn't seem to move at all.

"Go away. Why can't you leave me alone, you stupid mutt?" she burst out into tears and Ali stood up and wrapped her arms around her crying sister.

"Shhh, it's okay. It's okay."

"Mommy, why is Auntie Rosie crying? Is she angry with Fido?"

"No, honey, she isn't. Will you go and play with him in the garden for a few minutes."

"Hmm, yes I will." She grabbed the metal collar and pulled the dog out of the room.

"How can you be sure that the treatment didn't work?" I asked her worriedly while I sipped on the coffee in front of me.

Rosalie inhaled sharply between her teeth and pulled back from her sister's embrace.

"I don't know who explained the basics of the reproductive circle to you, Bella. But I guess my period is a pretty obvious sign that I'm not pregnant."

"Just for the record, Rose…it's not. A lot of women still get their period although they're pregnant. That's quite common actually."

She raised one eyebrow.

"Really?"

I nodded my head and searched for one of the pregnancy guidebooks I had bought when I had Lilly.

"See, there it stands. So that is no proof at all. You should see the doctor and let her do an ultrasound or something like that."

"I don't want to do that. Not alone and I saw Emmett's face when I had the last one. He tried to hide it but he looked so incredibly disappointed."

"We can come with you if you want to." Ali suggested while she handed Rose a tissue to wipe away the black trails of mascara from her cheeks.

**XXXX**

"Ali, would be please be so kind to remind me why we had to drive to a hospital at the other side of town just to let them do an ultrasound?"

She cleared her throat nervously.

"We're trying to avoid Dad."

"Good luck with that, Ali. The last time you tried to avoid him you moved to the other side of the world."

"I didn't move to Paris to avoid him."

"Yeah, whatever…"

She checked the time on her cell again and sighed deeply.

"I can't believe they're letting us wait here for almost two hours."

"What did you tell Emmett about where we're going when we dropped off Lilly at your house?" I asked her while I continued stroking up and down Ali's back with my fingertips.

"That we're shopping and he asked me if I needed some plus size clothes now. God, I really need to stop eating all the time." she mumbled and pulled an apple out of her handbag to nibble on it.

"You know what. I bet this would taste a lot better with chocolate on it…or mustard. God, I love mustard."

"Mrs. McCarthy?"

"Yes?"

"We have your test results now but Dr. Howard wants to make an ultrasound too…just to be sure. Would you be so kind to follow me?"

Rosalie's face paled slightly and I realized that her hands were trembling slightly. I took the rest of the apple and threw it into a trash in front of the examination room.

When we stepped inside I realized that the walls were covered with hundreds of Polaroid pictures of new born babies. Yeah, exactly what Rose needed to see right now.

"Hello Mrs. McCarthy. I'm Dr. Siobhan Howard. How are you feeling today?"

"Hello, Dr. Howard, can we just skip the small talk part for now. I'm really nervous and I'd like to go home."

"Fine, I'll just have to do an ultrasound to be sure."

Rosalie sat down on the plastic covered chair while Dr. Howard squeezed a little bit of gel on the top of the ultrasonic test instrument.

She cringed slightly when the doctor placed it on her stomach.

"I know that it's cold, Mrs. McCarthy. Try to relax a little bit. You don't need to worry. We'll just hope for the best…"

"That's easy to say for you, Dr. Howard." She mumbled and turned her head to the side, while a single tear rolled down her cheekbone.

Ali wiped it away with her thumb and took her sister's hand in hers.

"It'll be alright, Rose."

"Hmm," the doctor mumbled while the she moved the instrument over Rosalie's flat abdomen.

"Is something wrong?" I asked her, trying to read the grey and black shadow s on the small screen.

"I'm sick. God, I wanted to have a baby and now I got cancer or some other kind of crap."

The doctor shook her head and cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"No there is nothing wrong and you definitely don't have cancer."

A smile flashed over her face as she wiped the rest of the gel away from Rosalie's stomach.

"You're healthy and although it might be a little bit more tiring I'm sure that you and the twins will do just fine."


	37. Chapter 37

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. I'm so happy that you're enjoying to read my little soap opera…ahm…I mean fan fiction. Your amazing feedback encourages me to continue writing.

This one is dedicated to **lynettecullen** for liking Zafrina's character. Hope you'll enjoy…

****Chapter 37****

**Ali's POV**

The line between friendship and love is a thin one. It is not difficult to step from one to the other or back again. Right now I wished that the line could somehow turn into a huge ravine that was impossible to cross for anyone standing on the different sides of it.

I sipped on cup of hot chocolate in front of me and tried to concentrate on the sketch in front of me. The house felt cold and empty to me without Bella in it, too cold actually. Should I call her?

The doorbell rang and when I looked up to the clock at the other side of the kitchen wall I wondered why Zafrina would be here so early.

"Hi beautiful girl, care for company?" Jazz greeted me cheerfully as I opened the door. She smirked sheepishly while she twisted her honey blonde curls into a lose ponytail.

"Jazz, I've already told you that pick-up line is lame."

She chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, I know Ali."

"What are you doing here?"

For a split second a frown appeared on her pretty face, making her look as if she was in pain right now.

"What, can't I visit you when I want to? Doesn't your straight girlfriend allow you to have friends apart from her?"

I bite my own tongue to keep me from saying something rude to her in response but then I just forced my lips into the weak attempt of a smile.

"She doesn't have to allow me anything. I can meet with my _friends_," I emphasized the word overdramatically, "whenever I want to."

"That's good to hear, Ali."

We walked back into the house and I poured her a glass of orange juice that she emptied in one gulp.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me as she sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

Suspiciously I raised one eyebrow.

"Don't tell me that my father paid you again for talking to me?"

She shook her head.

"No, he didn't, you don't have to worry about that. I think that he doubts my skills as a therapist deeply after what happened at his house."

"Good…or not. Well, I don't really know. I wished they could accept things the way they are right now."

"Hmm,"

Her eyes caught one of the pregnancy guidebooks that were lying on the counter.

"What's that? Don't tell me you and her are trying to play happy rainbow family? I thought that you didn't want to have kids…ever."

"The books are for my sister. She's finally pregnant."

"Really? That makes me happy for her and Emmett. They're the kind of people who should have kids."

Her fingers moved over the edge of her glass that clinked under the touch, the noise was so annoying that I grabbed the glass to put in in the dishwasher.

"You're turning into a good housewife." She commented.

"And your ass looks really good from that angle."

I turned around and crossed my arms in front of my chest, desperately hoping that the layer of makeup I had put on today would be able to hide my blush. God, who on earth blushes after the age of twelve? I mean who apart from me and Bella?

"My ass looks good from every angle, but thanks."

"You're very welcome."

She took one of the sketches in her hands and looked at them while she continued biting her lower lip nervously.

"These are good."

"They're not. They're actually pretty lousy but I can't concentrate right now."

"Why? Is the straight girl distracting you too much?"

"Jazz, I don't like the way you call her straight girl. She's part of my life now and if you're planning on staying one too, you should better start accepting that…very soon."

Her gaze softened and when she spoke up again her voice was smooth like velvet.

"Ali, you know that I care about you. You are special to me and I don't want you to get hurt because some dull housewife uses you to spice up her miserable life."

"She's not trying to spice up her life. To tell the truth, her life would be a lot less complicated if I wasn't in it." I tried to make my voice sound hard but it cracked at the end and I swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling.

"Things are pretty complicated for the two of you, aren't they? You are afraid that what she might feel for you won't be enough."

Damn it, she knew all the buttons that triggered my fears and she wasn't afraid to push them. Stupid psycho crap…

Slowly she stood up from her chair and kneeled down in front of me while I stared down on the kitchen floor.

"Hey." She mumbled so low that I could barely hear her speak at all.

"I'm here for you if you want to talk about it."

I raised my head and when I opened my mouth to speak again I tasted something wet and salty on the tip of my tongue.

"Shhh, it's okay, Ali. It's okay." She wrapped her arms around my neck to let me sob against her shoulder.

Her fingertips stroked over the spikey curls of my hair until I finally felt like I couldn't cry anymore.

When I finally managed to pull back, I suddenly felt embarrassed by my emotional breakdown. Quickly I wiped my running nose on the sleeve of my shirt.

"You got some…" she mumbled while she pulled a tissue out of her pocket to clean my face, "mascara on your cheek."

"Thanks." I whispered embarrassedly, standing up from the chair. My knees were trembling and I hated myself for being so incredibly weak.

"I'm sorry, Ali. I didn't come here to make you cry."

"Yeah, I know."

She stood up from the ground and put a wisp of my hair behind my ear. When her fingertips brushed against the skin of my neck a shiver went down my spine.

Automatically I took two steps backwards until my back touched the wood of the counter.

"Please don't touch me like that. It's so…" irritating, wrong, confusing, I added in my head.

"Yeah, I know. For me too, Ali..." She put one hand on my shoulder, her touch light as a feather.

"You're different since you came back from Europe. More mature somehow, I kind of like that. It suits you well."

"Five years is a long time." I stated crossing my arms in front of chest in an attempt to get more distance between me and her.

"But you're still you. And when I look at you, I still think the same that I thought before you left."

"And that is?" I choked out, instantly regretting the question as soon as the words left my mouth.

She cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"What I always think…what I'm always going to think, Ali…that you're the most beautiful, incredible woman I know and that I don't want to lose you to someone who is probably going to hurt you anyway."

"Jazz, please. You know that I care about you, but I don…"

Her mouth was on mine before I could turn my head to the side. She kissed me hungrily, as if she was trying to soak up a part of me that she deep inside her head knew wasn't hers anymore. I gasped for air and the tip of her tongue slipped forcefully between my lips. I thought about biting down on it…

Finally she pulled back and when I saw the smug grin on her face anger spread through my veins. Without thinking what I was doing I raised my hand and slapped her right across her face.

"Outch!" She rubbed her chin while I walked to the other side of the kitchen.

"Why did you hit me?"

"Why did you kiss me?" I snarled at her, cursing myself for the slight tremble in my voice.

"Because I wanted to kiss you, Ali…I love you…god I never stopped loving you."

"I fucking hate you, Jazz. My stupid life is already complicated enough. You know how important our friendship is to me and you're ruining everything with this love crap."

"How can you call it crap? Have you forgotten that I was always there for you? How often I listened to your sobbing on the phone it the middle of the night? How dare you call my feelings crap!"

"Jasmine, lower your voice. You're going to wake the child up."

"So that's what you're doing right now; babysitting the result of your girlfriend's heterosexual past?"

A low growl left my throat and I stuffed my hand into the pockets of my jeans to keep me from hitting her again.

"You're such a hypocrite, Jazz. You don't give a shit about my happiness. All you care for is your own."

"That's not true. Have you forgotten everything I told you about messing with straight people? She's not like us. She only dated men before, god she even married one."

"I know that, Jazz. It doesn't matter to me."

"Trust me, Ali, it will when she suddenly discovers how much she misses the lack of cock in your relationship. And that will happen, it's inevitable."

"You don't know a thing about the relationship between me and Bella."

"Yeah, I know, but I know the difference between people like us and her."

Only a gold star lesbian is a good lesbian. God, why couldn't she see that Bella's past didn't matter to me? Well, of course I'd prefer it if my moron of a brother wouldn't be part of it…

"You should probably go now, Jazz, before you'll say more stupid things that will mess things between us up completely."

"Fine, if that's what you want. I'll leave, but don't forget that I'll be waiting for you to crawl back to me when the straight girl rips out your heart."

"Fuck you!"

She chuckled slightly as we walked to the front door.

"It's cute when you're angry like that. I like it when you get so passionate."

I opened the door and almost stumbled over Zafrina who was standing in the door frame.

"Hello Miss Cullen, I'm not disturbing you and Miss Whitlock, am I?"

"No of course not, Miss Penthes…she was about to leave now."

Jazz leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek, knowing that I wouldn't punch her in the presence of another person.

"Good bye, Ali. Call me…when…you know when." she mumbled, rubbing her chin thoughtlessly.

"Miss Whitlock, are you having toothache?"

"No, I don't. Thanks for asking. Good bye, Miss Penthes. Don't make her pay too much for your support. I'm sure you have enough other clients whose money you can take."

She climbed on her motorcycle that roared underneath her when she turned on the engine.

"I bet all of your voluntary work helped you a big deal to buy that Harley."

"I didn't say that I work for free, but unlike you I'm trying to help people solve their problems."

"Yeah, whatever…the bike is pretty cool actually. I wished I had enough time for stuff like that but I'm far too busy making pots of money with my unrespectable job."

"Guess we all have our priorities in life, Miss Penthes. But I'm probably going to sell the bike."

"Really? That's too bad. You look good on it." A smile flashed over her ebony face and for a moment I wondered if she was trying to flirt with Jazz. I tried to remember if Bella had mentioned a boyfriend but I couldn't think of it. Would that be a good plan to try to pair them up?

"Yeah, I know I do, but it's too expensive to afford it anyway."

"Too bad..."

Jasmines waved her hands at us and when her body disappeared at the corner of the street I sighed deeply.

"That bike is really cool. Such a shame she wants to sell it."

"Hmm, I don't know. I don't really care about bikes…"

"Yeah, I guess you don't, Miss Cullen. Is everything okay with you?"

"Of course I'm okay, why are you asking, Miss Penthes?"

"You seem a little bit tensed today." She stated as we walked into the house.

"I hope it's not because of the proceeding against your brother."

I quickly shook my head.

"No, it's not. It's just…well, forget it…it doesn't even matter."

She sat down on the couch in the living room and pulled a file out of her handbag.

"I think it does. Look, I know that the situation you're currently living in is difficult for you. It's always difficult to start a relationship with someone who isn't completely free."

"It's like everyone is trying to pull us apart. And there are a million reasons why we shouldn't be together."

"There are always a lot more reasons why people shouldn't be together and only a few why they should."

**XOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] How did you like the chapter? I'm not sure whether Ali should tell Bella that Jasmine kissed her. Technically she should, because…well that's just how I picture their relationship to be like. On the other hand…Bella will be so pissed when she finds out…that would be fun to write/read; don't you think?


	38. Chapter 38

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to your very favorite Twilight/fanfic soap opera.

Thanks so much for all your support. It really means a lot to me to know that you care about my little story. I'd really love to have a banner for the story so if one of you would like to make one for me, pm me.

Follow me on twitter **MyTwiDreams** if you'd like to talk about the story or other stuff.

This chapter is dedicated to **Villemo79** and **aquarius127** because I like the way they think…

**Lemon alert in this one…as usual…don't like/don't read**

****Chapter 38****

"So how was your day?" I asked Ali while I sipped on the glass of white wine in front of me.

Somehow she seemed to avoid eye contact with me and that was irritating me in a weird kind of way.

When she stood up from her chair and walked over to the window I realized that her hands were trembling slightly.

"Ali, are you okay? Did something happen while I was gone?"

She shook her head, and I stood up to hug her tightly from behind. Lying was truly a talent in the Cullen family but over the years I had developed a kind of sixth sense for it.

"Don't lie to me. Whatever it is you can tell me."

She cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"Promise not to freak out, will you?" her voice was so low that it was barely audible.

"Did Edward show up here again?" Damn it, why didn't I pay any attention when Emmett explained the alarm equipment to me?

"No, he didn't. I think that he's still in Alaska."

"Good to hear that. I wouldn't mind if he stayed up there after the divorce is through."

"Yeah, I know."

Slowly I turned her around and cupped her face between my hands.

"Ali, I can feel that something is wrong. Just tell me. It can't be that bad.

"Jasmine was here."

An unpleasant feeling spread through me, it was so strong that it literally knocked the breath out of me.

"Did she tell you some crap about trying some kind of family therapy with your parents again? We already figured out that this is completely useless unless they at least start to accept our relationship."

"No, she didn't…she…well…well she kissed me. God, I'm so sorry about that, Bella. It didn't mean anything to me."

"She did what?" I croaked out, my voice raising two octaves until it reached an embarrassingly high frequency.

"She did what?" Damn it, I knew that she wasn't content with being her friend. I fucking knew it!

"She kissed me. Bella, please, try to stay calm."

"I don't want to stay calm! I'm fucking pissed! How dare she kiss you?" Who the fuck, does this stupid shrink think that she is!

I took a deep breathe through my nose but the anger that spread through my veins didn't seem to cool down one tiny bit.

With trembling fingertips I grabbed the phone from the kitchen wall.

"Whom are you going to call now, Bella?" she asked me, gently putting an arm on my shoulder.

"I'm calling Jasmine. Give me the number."

"What for? Look, I've told her that I'm not interested in her. I even slapped her…"

"That doesn't change the fact that I need to talk to her. Will you give me the damn number now?"

"Bella, please…"

I sighed deeply and dialed the switchboard of the hospital.

After a few moments a young female voice picked up.

"Seattle Grace Hospital, how can I help you?"

"Hello. My name is Isabella Swan. Could you connect me with Miss Whitlock please?"

"Is this an emergency?"

"Yeah, kind of…"

"Did you cut your wrists or swallow an overdose of pills?"

"No, I didn't. Could you please try to connect me with Miss Whitlock now?"

"Hmm, yeah of course, just a moment please."

While I waited I tried to think of what I would say to her in case she picked up. God, I wanted to run my fingernails down her cheeks, leaving red marks on her stupid, grinning face. How dare she try to steal Ali away from me?

"Whitlock."

"You, you stupid psycho crap talking bitch!"

"Bella…is that you?"

"You can bet it's me, you fucking piece of scum!"

"Can you try to lower your voice, Bella? I'd prefer it to keep my hearing ability."

I cleared my voice before spoke up again, trying to speak lower now. Still my voice wasn't as cold as I wanted it to be. It trembled slightly and I felt fresh tears of anger burning in the corner of my eyes.

"I can't believe that she told you." Jasmine stated after a few awkward moments of silence.

"Yeah, she did. How dare you kiss her?"

"If I kiss her of if I don't is none of your damn business, Bella."

"Oh yes it is, Miss Whitlock. She's my girlfriend, mine and not yours."

"I'm better for her than you are. When you look deep inside yourself you know that I'm right."

I cringed slightly and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs because my knees felt suddenly too weak to keep standing.

"I love her and she loves me."

"You don't know what love is, Bella. You're going to mess things up and when you do that I'll be there to pick up the pieces of her heart."

My hands grabbed around the amber stone around my neck.

"Her heart is mine and I'm not going to let it get hurt."

"We'll see. Aren't you already missing the feeling of a hard cock pushing deep into your c…?"

"You're disgusting me. I see there is no use talking to you. Keep your hands to yourself when you see Ali the next time or you're going to need good artificial limbs."

She chuckled slightly.

"You know that I'm right with everything I'm saying and it's pissing you of, isn't it?"

"Fuck you! There is a special place in hell for assholes likes you!"

I disconnected the call and threw the stupid phone down on the ground before I burst into tears.

Ali kneeled down in front of me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me close against her pixie-like body.

"God, Bella…I'm so sorry. Please tell me that this won't change anything between us. I love you, only you."

My hands twisted into her hair and her full lips were on mine before I even blinked.

For a split second I thought that Jasmine had kissed the same lips just a few hours earlier and a fresh wave of anger rushed through me. How dare she kiss her…?

I pulled her closer and the chair I had been sitting on dropped to the ground. Somehow I managed to keep my mouth on hers while my hands moved under her blouse.

"Bella," she mumbled against my neck while my fingertips caressed the velvety skin on her stomach.

"We can't do it here in the kitchen."

"Oh yes we can, Ali and we will." I mumbled and started unbuttoning her blouse with trembling fingers.

I lowered my head and circled my tongue over the lace fabric of her bra until I felt the tiny nub of her nipple hardening under my touch. A low moan escaped her throat as I sucked it between my lips to suckle it greedily.

"Oh Bella..." How much I loved it when she said my name in that husky voice.

I pulled down the zipper of her jeans and slipped my hand over the already damp fabric of her panties.

"You're my girl now, aren't you?" God, I was starting to sound like some macho asshole now.

"Yes, I'm yours…only yours…please touch me."

I shoved her jeans down her slim thighs and planted soft kisses over her ankles. The tip of my tongue licked all the way up her leg until I reached the tattoo on her hipbone.

"I want you to know that I love you, Ali. And that I want you…far more than I ever wanted anyone before."

I kissed her mouth again and when she sucked my upper lip between her teeth a shiver went down my spine.

Slowly I moved my fingers down her stomach again; letting them slip underneath the thin fabric of her panties. She was slick and warm and when I circled my thumb over the tiny pearl at the top of her entrance more wetness poured over my fingers.

I put one of them in my mouth and licked off her sweet essence.

"You taste good enough to eat, do you know that?" I mumbled into her ear.

"You can't say things like that to me, Bella."

I stood up from the ground and pulled her with me. With a quick movement I lifted her up on the kitchen counter and parted her legs before I kneeled down again.

She cried out in pleasure when the tip of my tongue swirled over the pearl of her clit. When I felt that she was close I pulled back and stroked the insides of her thighs with my hand to calm her down again.

Then I stepped back and pulled my dress over my head. It was weird how I felt comfortable around her while I was naked. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I couldn't wait to feel her warm skin against my own. Maybe because she had told me over and over again how much she liked the curves of my body. Whatever it was, it was relieving…

"Tell me your mine." She mumbled while she cupped my breasts in her dainty hands.

"Tell me your mine." I whispered hoarsely while I pulled her down to the floor again.

"Tell me, Bella."

"Yes, I'm yours. Only yours, Ali…"

She pulled my soaked underwear down my thighs and stroked over the overheated flesh between my legs that craved for the touch of her gentle fingers.

"And I'm yours, Bella. Let me make love to you, will you?"

I nodded my head and pulled her closer, knowing that it would be impossible to get close enough. She parted my legs and she sat down between them. When her inner lips nudged against mine I bite my own tongue to keep me from screaming out loud. Slowly she started rocking her hips back and forth, each time her clit brushed against mine she whimpered slightly. Faster and faster she moved on top of me until small trails of sweat were running down her bare breasts. I leaned forward to kiss them off of her skin and gasped at the intense feeling this new angle brought to me. I closed my eyes to concentrate completely on the touch of her slick folds pressing against mine. Oh sweet heaven, I thought as the waves of my climax rushed over me so strong that a few tears rolled down my cheekbone.

My fingers grabbed the pale flesh of her hips and then finally I felt how her entire body went ridged on top of me and a heartbeat later she collapsed into my trembling arms.

"You're mine, Ali." I whispered, planting a few breathless kisses on the spikey curls of her hair.

"And I'll always be yours." I added as she wrapped her arms around me, holding on to me as if she never wanted to let me go.

**XOXOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] Hope you liked the update. Next time we're going to meet a new character. Bella & Ali need some new people in their lives. Don't you think?


	39. Chapter 39

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers out there. I can't thank you enough for supporting my little story here. It really means a lot to me.

*Yes, I know this story is like a soap opera and no; I won't apologize for that. If you don't like it that way - feel free to leave. To the rest of you; I hope you'll enjoy.*

This chapter is dedicated to **sarah83185 **&** Kristyna's kitten**. Thanks so much for your kind reviews. They really made my day.

****Chapter 39****

"Bella, you really need to stop blushing in front of every customer. God, how old are you, twelve?"

His voice sounded way more amused than critical and his violet eyes sparkled sheepishly, as he continued putting several magazines back into a bookshelf.

"Yeah, I know, Benjamin. It's just that…"

"It's just that you don't know a thing about cocks, don't you? Leah told me you're a lesbian."

I kneeled down and pretended to check a few books in a box next to me, while I desperately hoped that the blush on my face would be gone before I would have to raise my head again.

"I'm not a lesbian."

"But didn't you tell Leah that you have a girlfriend?"

I stood up from the ground and wiped my hands on the sleeve of my shirt.

"Yes, I have. That doesn't make me a lesbian though. I love Ali…but I guess if she were a man I'd love her too. "

"Hmm, I see. God, you'd get along so good with Seth, another person who can't make a decision between slimy pussies…" He put one finger in his mouth and made puking noises.

"…and cocks, although I'd love to guide him to the _right_ side and he knows that,"

"You have a crush on our boss? Has no one ever told you not to shit where you eat?"

He chuckled slightly and sat down on the small couch in the corner of the shop. I poured myself a cup of coffee and added two spoons of sugar that melted instantly in the steaming, hot liquid.

"Seth was my friend long before he was my boss. I think that he secretly thinks of me as a younger brother which is kind of stupid if you ask me."

I sipped on the coffee and almost burned my tongue on it.

"Guess it's difficult to stay friends if one of you wants more than friendship." I stated while I thought of Jasmine again and tried to suppress the unpleasant feeling of anger in my stomach. Somehow I couldn't get over her boldness. What a stupid, embittered…

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, hmm, of course, I was just thinking about the limits of friendship in general."

"Kay."

I sat down next to him and noticed that his eye color exactly matched the color of his shirt. Was he wearing contacts?

"So, how long have you known Seth and Leah?" I asked him in an attempt to make small talk. Any conversation that wouldn't contain the c-word would be fine with me…

"About seven years now. My dad leads a grief support group, that's how he met their mother. If you ask me, Sue was hoping to snag a new husband there. And at first things went pretty fine. My dad took Seth with us to do all the guy-stuff, you know like playing Baseball and such. Everything Seth never could do with his real father because he was too sick."

"Hmm, I see. That's where the whole brother thing comes from."

He nodded his head.

"When my dad told her that he would marry my stepmom she was pissed. But Leah and Seth are still my friends. Well, of course I wouldn't' mind to be more than Seth's friend."

Oh the fragile limits of friendship. How easy could they be broken?

"Do you get along well with your stepmother?"

He cleared his throat before he spoke up again.

"Ela is really nice. She's actually too young for my father, or too young to be the mother of a nineteen year old, however you put it. But the thing that matters is that Ela makes my dad happy. That's all that counts for me."

My cell vibrated in my pocket and I flipped it open to read the new text.

_We miss you, A & L_

I quickly typed a reply before I stuffed it back into my handbag.

"A & L?" Benjamin asked me curiously.

I inhaled sharply between my teeth before I spoke up again.

"It's rude to read other people's texts." I stated, standing up from the couch again.

He grabbed my wrist to keep me where I was.

"Hey, don't be like that, Bella. I wasn't asking you for details about your sex life or anything."

"Fine, Ali is my girlfriend and Lilly is my daughter."

"You have a child together? That's so awesome."

"It's not like that." Although, I wished it would be like that, I added silently in my head.

"I was…I mean I still am married to Edward. He's Lilly's dad."

I pulled a wrinkled picture of him and Lilly out of my purse and handed it to him

"Your ex looks hot." Benjamin stated, licking his lips that twisted into a crooked smile.

"And you left him for a girl? God, damn it…you _are_ a lesbian."

I rolled my eyes at that.

"I know that he's good looking but he's an arrogant asshole."

Benjamin chuckled slightly as he gave me the picture back.

"Evil people are especially good in bed usually."

"You're not exactly Edward's type, I think."

"Too bad, I bet he has a nice butt."

I rolled my eyes at that.

"Trust me; it is better that way. There is only one person that Edward cares about and that's Edward."

"Hmm. Maybe he's just pissed because you left him for a girl?"

Or because I left him for his sister, I thought while I automatically nodded my head.

"So, you're working here now and your girlfriend stays at home to watch your daughter?"

"Yes, Ali works at home mostly and when the summer is over Lilly will be in school most of the day anyway."

"What does she do? Selling sex products over the internet?"

"You have a dirty mind."

"I work here for almost a year now. Guess that corrupted me somehow."

"She doesn't sell sex toys." But she has quite a nice collection under the bed. My cheeks felt suddenly warmer than before and I forced my lips from turning into stupid grin.

"Ali is a fashion designer."

"Really? That's pretty cool I think. I kind of like people with style. But there are too many arrogant people in that business. My mom was a seamstress so I know how thinks work there…"

"Ali isn't arrogant. She's the kindest, nicest person I ever met."

He sighed so deeply that it sounded ridiculously theatrical.

"Oh sweet love that makes people blind…"

"I'm not saying it because she's my girlfriend. Ali is really nice."

"I'll guess I find out when I meet her. That brings me to my next question, Bella. What are the two of you doing tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow? Ahm, I don't know. Nothing I guess."

"How old are you two, sixty? How can you stay at home on a Friday night?"

"Please enlighten me. What should we be doing?"

"You could go out with me, Seth and Leah. Leah is friends with Maria the owner of a club here in Seattle."

"Yeah, I know that club. Ali and I have been there before. Well, I don't know if it's good idea to show up there."

"Kay. Which of you fucked with the Ramirez chick?"

I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"None of us, I don't even really know Maria. Well, to make a long story short. Maria dated Ali's ex-girlfriend and I'm not that keen on accidentally running into Jasmine while we're there."

"I see. You don't have to worry about that too much. Maria is pretty bitchy with her ex-girlfriends. She doesn't believe in this whole fuck and stay good friends-thing."

**XXXX**

It was hard being around people that were so incredibly beyond happy like Emmett and Rosalie, to not get affected by it.

"So, Lilly, do you want your little cousins to be girls or boys?" he asked her cheerfully while he poured her a glass of apple juice.

"Girls of course…boys are stupid. And anyone knows that." She stated convincingly.

Emmett chuckled slightly as he sat on the couch again.

"See, that's your influence, Ali. The child isn't even old enough to date and already thinks that boys are gross."

Ali rolled her eyes at that and I cupped her face between my hands to plant a soft kiss on her full lips.

"Can't you at least try to keep your hands off of each other when other people are around?" Rose mumbled while she continued stuffing marshmallows with mustard on them into her mouth.

"Why should we?" I asked her, knowing that she wasn't really annoyed by it.

She wiped her lips on the back of her hand.

"Yeah, you're right I guess. If it makes you happy, just go with it."

"Uncle Emmett?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Does Auntie Rosie get babies because you kissed her?"

He cleared his throat nervously before he spoke up again.

"Yeah, Lilly, kind of…"

A smile flashed over her tiny face and I tried to ignore the fact that she was feeding the dog with cookie crumbles again.

"See Fido, I told you it works that way."

Great, my daughter has where-do-the-babies-come-from talks with a dog. Wasn't she too young to think about stuff like that?

"Mommy, when will Auntie Ali get a baby from you? She and you kiss each other all the time, so she must get one very soon."

"Lilly…" I croaked out, desperately trying to think of a good way to explain things to her without explaining too much. God, I wasn't ready to have that sort of conversation with her now.

"Sweetie, where should the baby sleep at night? We don't really have a room for one."

"It could sleep in my room of course! And when it would wake up at night and cry I could give it one of my stuffed animals."

"Lilly, honey, your aunt and I can't make a baby together. That's not possible. Two girls can't make a baby. You need a man for that."

For a split second a frown appeared on Ali's face as if I had said something that hurt her kind off. I put one arm around her delicate waist and pulled her closer to me. She rested her head against my shoulder and the spikey curls of her hair tickled the skin on my neck in a pleasant way.

"You're okay?" I whispered into her ear while I stroked up and down her bare forearms with my fingertips.

She nodded her head and sighed deeply before she turned to her blonde sister again.

"Have you spread the happy news to our parents yet? I bet mom is thrilled that you're pregnant."

Rosalie grabbed another pair of marshmallows and dipped them into the glass of mustard on the table.

"She cried when I told her. Jeez, I can't remember the last time she didn't cry when she was on the phone."

"Your mother needs to accept the fact that all of you are having an own life by now."

"Em, she knows that. But you know how my father is like…"

"Your father is the most stubborn person on earth. He's even worse than you and Ali." Emmett stated grabbing the rest of the marshmallow's from the table. Rose grabbed her hand around his wrist to stop him.

"Please leave them here, Em. I'm still so hungry."

He leaned over and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Kay, babe."

"And just for the record, Emmett McCarthy; I am not really stubborn. I just know what I want."

"Yeah, however, babe…but your father is stubborn and he needs to take the pink glasses off when it comes to your shithead of a brother."

I wondered if that would ever happen and I thought about how Ali would handle the consequences of it. No matter how strong she was, or how strong she pretended to be, it hurt her deeply that her parents blamed her for all the things that happened. Somehow I would have to find a way to make them see that. Unfortunately it wouldn't be as easy as taking off a pair of colored glasses…


	40. Chapter 40

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to your very favorite Twilight soap opera. I can't thank all of you enough for taking the time to read & review my little story here. It means more to me than you'll ever know. It's because of you that I keep writing.

This chapter is dedicated to **secrets87** and **Cullengirl0413**. Hope you'll enjoy!

****Chapter 40****

"Hello Bella, it's so nice to see you again." Maria greeted me cheerfully before she hugged Ali for a moment and whispered something into her ear that was too low for me to understand it.

Ali's beautiful eyes narrowed for a moment but then she squeezed my hand that she was still holding in hers and relaxed a little bit.

"She's here, isn't she? Damn it, I knew that Jasmine would show up here tonight."

Maria cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"I don't know where the hell the stupid…, well I don't know where Jazz is, but the fucking death machine is right in front of the club. That's means she can't be too far. Just do me a favor in case you see her before me. Tell her to piss the fuck off. I don't need any of my ex-girlfriends hanging around in my club." Jeez, Benjamin had been right when he told me that Maria was bitchy about her ex…

"Would you like to dance?" Ali asked me after a few awkward moments of silence and I nodded my head silently. Slowly we walked over to the small dance floor, where she wrapped her dainty arms around my neck and pulled me close towards her pixie body. I closed my eyes as she rested her head against my bare shoulder. Her sweet scent entered my nose and I inhaled deeply to absorb as much of her vanilla-apple scent as possible.

"I love you, Bella." She whispered into my ear and I turned my head to plant a soft kiss upon her full lips while our bodies moved slowly to the rhythm of the music in the background. The tip of her tongue nudged against my lower lip and when I parted my mouth a little her tongue slipped between my lips to explore my mouth.

For a moment I forgot completely where I was but then I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and cringed slightly.

"Bella, I think you and your girlfriend should get a room." Benjamin chuckled after giving me a one-armed hug. Ali turned around and when he saw her face his own suddenly turned white as chalk. It was as if he had seen a ghost or something like that. Whatever it was, it was weird. He rubbed his eyes and swallowed hard before he spoke up.

"Hi, I'm Benjamin. You must be Bella's girlfriend. I'm afraid I forgot your name."

"It's Ali. Benjamin, it's nice to meet you."

We walked over to the bar where we met Seth who was sitting next to a dark-haired girl with huge, fearful eyes. Leah waved her hand at us and continued sipping on the glass of wine in front of her.

"Seth, how can you bring your straight date into a gay club? That's just so wrong, somehow…"

"Benjamin, don't tell me you're jealous again. Bree and I are just friends. You still know what friends are, don't you?"

"So you're Bella's girlfriend, aren't you?" Leah asked Ali in an attempt to change the subject of her brother's conversation with their employee.

I nodded my head and ordered a glass of wine for me and a coke for Ali.

"Don't tell me she's too young to drink. Jeez, have you never heard of faked ID's?"

"You mean like the one you used to get in here tonight?" Maria snarled at him as she walked by to greet Leah.

"The stupid fake ID isn't worth the twenty bucks you paid the dipshit who photo-shopped the fucking thing for you."

"Oh come on, Ramirez, don't be like that. I bet if I had a pussy you'd let me have the drinks for free."

"If you had a pussy, I'd turn straight." She stated and waved the two waitresses towards her.

"Nettie…Lucy…no alcoholic drinks for this…_pussy_ here tonight. We don't need any stress with the cops because of drunken minors…"

"That's so unfair. I know how to hold my liqueur. My uncle let me try his plum liquor when we visited him last summer. It wasn't that bad really…"

Seth suppressed a giggle.

"Wasn't that when they sent you to that hooker afterwards? The blonde-one who was supposed to show you how much fun you could have with a girl."

"Asshole, I only told you about that because…well I don't know why."

Seth put one arm on Benjamin's shoulder to calm him down.

"Hey, I was just kidding. And everyone knows about the hooker thing. Your dad told my mom and she told Leah and…"

"All of you gossip like old women." Benjamin stated, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Did your father honestly send you to a hooker?" I asked him hesitantly.

He sighed deeply and to my astonishment his cheeks turned into a bright crimson color.

"Yes he did. Just for the record; I didn't touch the poor girl. We just talked but it was still weird somehow."

Ali sipped on the glass in front of her and her lipstick left a ruby colored mark on its edge.

"I can't believe anyone would do something so ridiculously stupid like sending a gay man to a hooker. Your dad seems to be a little bit old-fashioned. Am I right?" Ali asked him.

Benjamin shook his head.

"No, he isn't. My father isn't some kind of homophobic asshole. The whole thing was my uncle's idea. Whenever we're visiting him, he keeps talking to my dad that he needs to do something about my homosexuality."

"Your uncle doesn't seem like a very nice person." I mumbled while my fingertips caressed the small stripe of exposed skin on Ali's back."

"He's not that bad. He's just…well things are different where he lives. It's just the way he was raised in…"

"Oh Miss Cullen! Miss Swan, how nice to see you here," Zafrina greeted us before she hugged Leah and planted a kiss on each of her cheeks.

"How are you doing?"

Leah put one finger in her mouth and made puking noises.

"Same old, same old…the stupid bitch is already pregnant again."

"Don't call her that, Leah." Seth pleaded her, obviously embarrassed.

"She's still our cousin."

"Maybe to you, you…you…moron of a brother; I'd like to see you if you were in my situation. Guess, you'd still invite her over to celebrate Thanks Giving and Christmas together after she fucked around with your husband."

"Lee, try to calm down. Your poor brother didn't mean it like that."

"Your husband left you for your cousin?" I asked Leah, before I gulped down the glass of wine in front of me.

She nodded her head.

"I'd prefer not to talk about it though." She mumbled towards the floor while an ugly frown flashed over her beautiful copper face.

"You really shouldn't make such a face, Lee. It'll give you wrinkles."

"Would you please remind me why I chose you to be my divorce lawyer?" Leah snarled at her.

"Because I'm the best and you know that Lee. By the way; have you seen Maria yet? Where the hell is she?"

"Probably still looking for Jasmine to kick her out of the club…" Benjamin stated cheerfully while his eyes followed the ass of a dark-haired guy in a tight yellow t-shirt.

"Jazz is here too?"

"The stupid bike is here, that means she must be here too." Ali mumbled exasperated.

"You mean the Harley? Jeez, that bike is cool. Such a shame she didn't want to keep it. Well, a shame for her…good luck for me, I guess."

"You bought the Harley?" Ali's voice raised two octaves.

Zafrina chuckled slightly.

"Why do you seem so shocked? It's just a bike. It's not like I asked her to marry me."

**XXXX**

There was something about drunken people that scared me somehow. I couldn't even tell what it exactly was that I was afraid of, just that it made me feel awkward to be around them.

"Are you sure that we shouldn't bring him into an E.R.?"

"Bella, is right, Seth. He could have alcohol poisoning or some other crap."

"No, need no…E.R." Benjamin blurred out while he started planting kisses on Seth's cheek.

"You…smell…like…cotton candy, Sethy."

"And you smell like a drunken sailor. God, Benjamin, why do you always have to be so irresponsible?"

"You are jealous of the hottie who bought me the drinks, aren't you!"

"Benjamin, for heaven's sake, lower your voice, if you don't want Maria to find out that you drank yourself into an almost delirium in her club."

"Hey, don't be like that Seth. You know that I only want you…I luv you."

I realized that was he was saying was far more than what he wanted to and he would be embarrassed by it in a few hours. Or maybe he wouldn't? It was hard to tell what was really going on in Benjamin's cheerful mind.

"It would probably be best for him, if he'd get sick." Ali stated, wrapping a jacket over my shoulder. It was cold outside the club and every time I exhaled the air turned into white steam.

A moment later a low moan left Benjamin's throat. He collapsed on the cold asphalt while the content of his stomach left a light brown mess on the front wheel of Jasmine's….Zafrina's bike.

Seth kneeled down next to him and pulled a tissue out of his pocket.

"Are you feeling better now, Mr. I-can-hold-my-liqueur?"

Benjamin wiped his mouth with the tissue and stood slowly up again.

"Crap." He called out.

"I lost one of my contacts. Sethy, you need to help me to find it again."

"You don't honestly expect me to search for your stupid purple contact in a puddle of vomit?"

"You don't luv me, Sethy. You don't luv me…"

"Cam down, Benjamin or I'll call your father to pick you up."

"No, please don't do that. He's not even home right now. He's working double shift in the new ware-house."

He turned his face to the side, a split second before his stomach heaved again over and over until there finally wasn't anything left inside him that he could throw up.

Slowly he sat down on the ground again because his trembling knees obviously were too weak to keep standing.

When he raised his head again I heard someone right next to me gasping for air.

"Do I honestly look that bad?" Benjamin croaked out, his husky voice sounding far more amused than it should.

"No, no…it's nothing. It's just…well…maybe it's just this awful neon-light outside here." Ali stumbled out and I instantly pulled her closer to me

"What's wrong?" I whispered into her ear, as she stiffened more and more next to me.

"His eyes." She mumbled so low that I could barely hear her speak at all.

"What do you mean?" I asked her but then I saw it myself and cringed slightly.

Benjamin's eyes were red and puffy now. There was even a small trail of black mascara running down his cheekbones. The iris of his left eye still matched the color of his lilac shirt perfectly but the other one. The one without the contact on it was staring back at us in the light brownish color of melted caramel toffee…

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] Speaking of evil cliffhangers and the authors that use them *cough*. Any theories?


	41. Chapter 41

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. I can't thank you enough for supporting my little story here with your amazing feedback. I can't believe I managed to get over 800th reviews. Thanks to all of you, especially those of you leave comments on every chapter. Your kind words are what keep me going. They mean more to me than you'll ever know.

This chapter is dedicated to **aquarius127** and **aurike** for their theories about Benjamin.

*Lemon alert in this one. As usual…don't like/don't read*

****Chapter 41****

_Ali's POV_

I don't remember how Bella managed to pull me into the car because my feet felt too heavy to move one single inch.

When I finally sat down on the passenger's seat my entire body started trembling slightly.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her.

"Ali, please. You need to calm down. I know that this is…difficult for you."

"His eyes look exactly like mine." I mumbled against the soft skin of her neck, deeply inhaling the sweet scent of her strawberry shampoo.

Her fingertips brushed over the small stripe of exposed skin on my back and a pleasant shiver went down my spine.

"Try to calm down, Ali. We'll ask Benjamin about his family background when he's sober again or you could call Carlisle in the morning if you don't mind talking to him."

"No, I don't. He's probably the only one who can tell me what I need to know." I mumbled, trying to suppress the slight trembling in my voice.

I twisted a wisp of her gorgeous chestnut hair around my fingers. It felt smooth like silk against my fingertips.

"Your hair is so beautiful. Did I ever tell you that it was the first thing I noticed about you?"

She shook her head while her hand moved under my shirt to caress the sensitive skin on my stomach in small circles.

"I love the way you make me feel beautiful. No one ever did that… but you do."

I put one finger on her mouth to silence her.

"I'm going to tell you over and over how beautiful you are to me. How happy I am to have you in my life. How much I want you."

Slowly I leaned over and cupped her face between my hands. A low moan escaped her throat when I sucked her lower lip between my teeth to nibble on it.

I started unbuttoning her blouse and when my fingertips brushed over her cleavage she grabbed her hand around my wrist to stop me.

"We can't do it in the car, Ali."

I chuckled slightly while my eyes stayed focused on her lace covered breasts. Wetness poured between my legs and I pressed my lips against each other to keep me from moaning out loudly.

"Says the girl, who made me do it on the kitchen floor…"

"I didn't think too much, when that happened."

"Exactly, Bella. And right now I don't want you to think too. You always think too much about things all the time."

I rolled my thumbs over her breasts until I felt her nipples pebble against the palm of my hand.

"Stop thinking, Bella; try just to feel. I want to make you feel good."

She closed her eyes and whimpered slightly when I started suckling her nipples through the thin fabric of her bra. My right hand stroked up her creamy thighs, finally reaching the already damp fabric of her underwear.

"You should really wear more skirts, Bella. It's makes touching you so much easier." I whispered hoarsely into her ear while my hand slipped into her panties.

Her mouth found mine again and I nudged my tongue against hers in the same rhythm my fingertips stroked up and down her slick folds. The entire car was filled with the musky scent of her lust. Or was it mine? I pressed my legs together in a weak attempt to remove a little bit of the tension.

"You like it when I touch you like this, don't you?" I mumbled against her neck before I sucked the pale flesh on her collarbone between my teeth, not caring that I would probably leave a mark on her. God, I wanted everyone to know that she was mine, that she belonged to me and no one else…

"Ali…" she croaked out, her voice husky with lust as I lowered my head and pulled her panties down her legs.

"So sweet and warm," I whispered against her overheated flesh.

"And so delicious…"

The tip of my tongue swirled over her throbbing clit and she twisted her hands into the short curls of my hair to pull me closer. I wanted to crawl into her body and never come out again. I licked her greedily, enjoying the sweetness of her essence. She tasted better than any other woman I had done this to before. God, I wished I could die right between her legs…

I held her open with two fingers, and inserted my tongue into her tight entrance. My thumb circled over the tiny pearl of her clit. More wetness poured out of her and I lapped up every single drop of it. Then her entire body went ridged and her inner walls convulsed against my waiting tongue. I gasped for air when I finally managed to pull back. Her fingertips caressed my head, stroking the curls of my hair until the sky above us turned into a crimson red.

**XXXX**

I wiped my sweating hands on the sleeves of my shirt before I took a deep breath and opened the door to the office. Nervously I cleared my throat before I spoke up.

"Hello, Dad."

He looked up from his desk and I realized that he had dark circles under his blue eyes. It was obvious, that he didn't sleep too well in the last days.

"Mary Alice? What are you doing here?"

"I have an appointment with Dr. Bennett later this morning because of my stupid heart but I wanted to see you before."

"Look, I'm really busy right now, Mary Alice."

"You're always busy, but it's really important to me."

"Okay. Have you finally come to your senses about this ridiculous thing between you and Bella?"

"It's only ridiculous to you and mom but not to me and her. I love her and there is nothing that you can do or say that will change that."

"You're the most stubborn person on earth, Mary Alice."

"I'm not stubborn, I'm just in love. Don't you want me to be happy?"

"Of course, I want you to be happy. What kind of stupid question is that?"

"I don't think it's stupid."

"Fine, I want you to be happy. What I don't want is you being with your sister-in-law. Of all the women you could have chosen to start a relationship with, why did it have to be your sister-in-law?"

"You don't remember how it's like to be in love, do you?"

A low chuckle left his throat and a smile flashed over his face that didn't reach his tired eyes.

"I'm not that old, Mary Alice. Look, can't you see that your so-called love is destroying our entire family?"

"You can't destroy what's never been whole, dad. Edward hated me since I was a little girl."

"He doesn't hate you, Mary Alice. I didn't want to admit it, but I guess he was pretty jealous when you were born. And now you have stolen away his wife from him that doesn't make things better."

"Just for the record, Dad; Edward didn't give a shit about Bella until she decided to divorce him."

"That's not true."

"Oh yes, it is true. And I think that is because of you. He knows how you think about marriage and he thinks that you expect him to throw a tantrum."

"Mary Alice, for heaven's sake, I don't expect him to do anything. It's his marriage and not mine. I just wished that he and you would try to honor the values your mother and I taught you."

"Dad, this conversation won't lead to anything. I want you to start accepting the choices I made for my life, point. And it's not fair that you're blaming me for destroying my brother's marriage. Yes, I cheated on him behind his back and yes, I did it in his own house, for crying out loud. But their marriage wasn't working before that happened. No one has ever managed to destroy a happy relationship."

He sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead with his thumb.

"You're right; this conversation won't lead to anything. But I see that you have a point…somehow. What did you want to ask me?"

"It's about my mother." I croaked out while I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"Your mother is completely miserable because of this whole mess. And Emmett told her to stop calling Rosalie all the time. He thinks it's not good for her pregnancy if she gets too agitated."

Something cramped painfully around my heart. I didn't want Esme to be unhappy. God, I didn't want any member of my family to be unhappy.

"I'm really sorry to hear that, but I already know that. Rosie told me that mom called her over and over again. My sister is not responsible for what happened. It's not like I'm still a seven-year-old that she needs to babysit."

I sighed deeply before I continued.

"I wanted to ask something about my biological mother."

"Sasha? What do you want to know about her?"

"Anything, you know, Dad."

"That's not a lot, Mary Alice."

"I bet it's more than I know. Look, I met someone and his eyes…they have exactly the same color like mine. Can you imagine how weird that was for me?"

"Hmm, yes, I can. He noticed it too, didn't he?"

"He was kind of…well, he wasn't feeling too well when we met."

"He's not sick, is he? His heart was pretty fine when I…"

"You know him?" my voice raised two octaves.

"It would be too much to say that I really know him. Sasha showed up with him in my office when he was about two. She was worried that he could suffer from the same heart condition than you."

"We're related aren't we? He's my…"

"Your half-brother, you can say it, Mary Alice."

"And when were you planning on telling me about that?"

"It didn't seem necessary to me."

"It didn't seem necessary to you? Are you kidding me?"

"Mary Alice, please try to keep your voice down."

"How can you assume that it wasn't necessary to mention the fact that I have a half-brother?"

"I didn't mean it like that. Look, I never thought too much about Sasha until the day she showed up here again. And when that happened it wasn't a very pleasant experience."

"What happened?"

"I hadn't expected to see her again, ever…but her husband managed to get a green card and so they moved to the States with their son. She told me something about starting a business somewhere down in Florida."

"Did she ask about me?" I whispered, my voice trembling from the tears I was trying to fight back.

"Asking is not the right word, I guess. I don't know what she expected me to do when she wanted to see you."

"I met her? Why can't I remember anything about that?"

"She wanted to meet you but I couldn't let that happen."

"Why?" I croaked out, my voice barely audible.

He sighed deeply and walked over to me. Hesitantly he put a wisp of my short hair behind my ear.

"Because I saw how she was with that boy…so caring. If I had let her met you, she would have wanted you back. How could I let that happen?"

"I bet that now you're wishing you would have sent me back to live with her."

"Mary Alice, stop being so sullen. You're still a child and you don't know a thing about the decisions adults have to make. When you're going to have a child of your own…well if you would have a child of your own, you'd know that parents only want what's in their children's best interests."

"Best interest? How can it be in my best interest to lie to me for my entire life, or to keep me away from my own mother?"

"She left you once, she didn't want you anymore. She could have done it again if things got complicated…and believe me they would."

"You can't know that." I stated while I took several deep breaths through my nose in an attempt to calm myself down. My hands started trembling and I hoped that the dizziness wouldn't get worse.

"Oh yes I can. You're such a naïve person, Mary Alice. Have you any idea how much your medication costs weekly? Probably more than a seamstress makes in a month."

"I'm sorry that my stupid heart causes so much financial trouble."

"Don't be like that. I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to show you that your condition required a special treatment."

He took my hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"You're different than your siblings…it's like I'm always fighting for you…for your heart to keep beating, for your stubbornness to end, for your love…for everything."

I'm the one who's always fighting, I thought…but for the first time in my entire life, I knew that it was going to be worth it.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] How did you like the chapter? Leave me some love and press the review button…yes, you too

Until next time, take care :-)


	42. Chapter 42

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to my little soap opera…aka Twilight fan fiction. Hugs to all my supportive readers out there, I'm so glad that you like my story. It means a lot to me.

This chapter is dedicated to **Hayley** (danke, für die ganzen reviews auf deutsch) and to **Villemo79** for giving me love for my story when I need it the most.

*Warning: parts of this chapter are pretty corny…consider yourself warned and don't go complaining afterwards.*

****Chapter 42****

The sunlight reflected on the dark curls of her hair, adding a bluish shimmer to it. Slowly I reached out my hand and caressed the soft skin on her exposed neck with my fingertips.

Then I leaned over and planted a soft kiss right under her earlobe. A low moan left her throat before she turned to the side and opened her caramel eyes.

"Morning, sweetheart," I whispered softly while my hands stroked down her beautiful face until I reached her collarbone.

She cupped my face between her dainty hands and kissed my mouth so lightly that her lips were barely touching mine. Still her gentle touch sent a pleasant shiver down my spine. The warm, tingly feeling in my stomach increased as she twisted a wisp of my long hair around her fingers and pulled me closer.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked me as she noticed that I had already dressed.

"Long enough," I mumbled as she sat up in the bed that squeaked underneath us.

"By the way…you look pretty when you're sleeping."

"Thanks." she whispered against my mouth, her sweet breathe tickling the skin of my lower lip before she kissed me again. The tip of her tongue slipped into my mouth and when it touched my tongue something comparable to an electric shock went through my entire body. How much I loved the way my body reacted to her touch in ways I had never thought to be possible.

"I love you, Ali."

"Love you more."

"I don't think that's possible, Ali."

She took my hand in hers and planted kisses all over my knuckles, her eyes never leaving mine.

The door opened and Lilly's copper-head appeared in the doorframe.

"Mommy, when is Daddy coming home?"

I inhaled sharply between my teeth and forced my face to remain a calm mask.

"Come here, sweetie." I told her. She sat down on the edge of the bed and I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her on my lap.

"Look, Lilly. Your Daddy won't live here with us anymore."

"Is he still angry at me because I didn't want to stay at Grandma's house with him?" her voice sounded worried.

"No, honey." My voice almost cracked and I swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling.

"Lilly, your father isn't angry at you, just at me and your mother."

"Can't you just tell him that you're sorry?"

To my immense relief my cell started ringing and I cleared my throat nervously when I recognized the number.

"Morning, Bella. I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"Hi, Zafrina, no we're already awake, don't worry."

"Fine, that's good. Listen, Bella. I have good and bad news for you. Which one do you want to hear first?"

"The good one, first please."

"You won't have to sell the house."

"Really? That's incredible. How did you manage to do that?"

"Your surprised reaction is an insult to my skills as a lawyer."

"I'm sorry, Zafrina. I didn't mean it like that."

She chuckled slightly.

"Don't worry. It really wasn't that difficult for me, just a few phone calls to tell the truth."

"And what's the bad news?"

"Your moron of a husband refuses to sign the divorce papers my office sent to him."

"Why?"

"Because he's an asshole how gets a sick pleasure out of complicating other people's life,"

"I already know that, Zafrina. The question is can I do anything against that? Can't we just force him to sign the papers or something like that?"

"I'm afraid that would be illegal. Look, you'll get the divorce, don't worry. You just have to wait a little longer."

"How long is longer?" I asked her impatiently.

"Probably two months, I guess. Try to relax, Bella. He is stupid if he thinks going to court will make things easier for him but the truth is that I will kick his ass so hard he won't be able to sit for a month."

"I'm not too keen to going to court, Zafrina. It's kind of scary somehow."

"Scary for you, but it is fun for me. Bella please try to stop worrying so much about it. There is nothing to be afraid of."

"Kay," I croaked out halfheartedly.

"I mean it, Bella."

"Yeah, I know. I'll try to work on that part."

**XXXX**

Ali sighed deeply as she parked the car in front of the small house. Her hands were trembling slightly when she turned off the engine. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me.

"Look, we don't have to do that now. We can wait for a better…"

"Waiting for a better opportunity? What kind of opportunity are you talking about?"

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"I'm just trying to protect you, Ali. I don't want you to get hurt."

She leaned over and planted a kiss upon my lips.

"Mommy, what are we doing here?" Lilly asked from the backseat, carelessly throwing one of her Barbie dolls on the floor of the car.

What a smart question, I thought bitterly. What exactly are we doing here?

"We're just visiting the young man that works with Mommy. He's really nice, I'm sure you'll like him, Lilly."

I took a deep breathe before I knocked on the door of the house. A few moments later it was opened by a middle-aged man with short cropped grey hair. His eyes looked incredibly tired, like he hadn't slept properly for a very long time.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to buy anything, Miss."

"We're not here to sell anything, sir. I work with your son. I wanted to ask him something about changing our shifts. Is he home?"

A frown appeared on his face.

"You can wait for him inside. I'll try to wake him up for you. He acts as if he's dying from the hangover."

He guided us into a small living room where he quickly shoved a few empty fast food bags from the couch.

"I'm sorry that it's so messy here but my wife is visiting her family and I'm not really good at the whole housework stuff."

"Oh, I see. It doesn't matter. Don't worry." I sat down on the couch with Lilly on my lap while Ali remained standing next to us.

"Would you like to drink something?" he asked us, walking over to the open kitchen at the other side of the room.

"No, thank you. Look, you don't need to wake Benjamin up if he isn't feeling well."

He chuckled slightly and grabbed a pair of glasses from the table.

"Blind like a…how's that little black animal called?"

"A mole!" Lilly called out.

"You're a smart little girl." He told her cheerfully handing her a piece of candy.

Then he raised his head and when his eyes met Ali's he dropped the plastic bags he was still holding in his left hand.

For a moment I wondered if he was probably going to get a heart attack or something like that.

"You…you…are…you are…Alicija, aren't you?"

Ali grabbed my hand and tried to pull me up again but somehow I didn't manage to move one single inch.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here. It was a stupid idea."

He sighed deeply and cleared his voice before he spoke up again.

"No, it wasn't. I understand that you probably want some answers but I'm afraid that I won't be useful."

"You know who I am, don't you?" Ali's voice was barely a whisper.

"Yes, I do. You look too much like Sasha to not know who you are."

"Do you have a picture of her?" she croaked out, while she squeezed my hand in hers so tightly that it was almost painful.

He nodded his head and pulled a wrinkled photo album out of a cupboard at the other side of the room.

I recognized that he had tears glittering in the corners of his eyes.

Ali opened the album with trembling hands to look at the mother she would never get to know.

**XXXX**

"Are you okay?" I asked her, hugging her tightly from behind.

She nodded her head silently.

"Are you sure, Ali? Because, if you're not, I need to know…"

Slowly she turned around and cupped my face between her hands.

"I'm okay, when I'm with you, Bella. You make me feel like…I don't know...like I'm home at last."

I wrapped my arms around her delicate waist and pulled her closer against my body.

"You are home." I whispered against the warm skin of her neck, deeply inhaling the sweet vanilla scent that seemed to be streaming out of each of her pores.

"And I want to make you happy for now…for tomorrow and for the rest of our lives."

"Bella…"

I put one finger on her lips to silence her.

"Before I met you, Ali, I didn't know what love is. Yes, I thought that I did but now I know that I didn't. The way I feel about you, I never felt that way about another person before. I love you. Not only for who you are, Ali but for who I am when I'm with you."

I lowered my head and planted a soft kiss on her ruby tinted lips that felt like velvet against mine. She was so warm and soft and she was mine just as much as I was hers. The thought turned my knees into yell-o and I took several steps backwards until I reached the metal frame of the bed and sat down on its edge.

Ali kneeled down in front of me, twisting the fingers of her right hand with mine. The candlelight made her caramel eyes look two shades darker. Or maybe it was just my brown ones that reflected in them?

"I love you, Bella. And I want everyone to know that you belong to me now and to no one else."

I put a wisp of her short hair behind her ear, feeling her shiver slightly when my fingertips brushed the sensitive skin right above her hairline.

"I belong to you, Ali. And it doesn't matter what other people think about it."

"Oh yes, it does, Bella. Well, you're right that it doesn't matter what they think. But I want them to know that you belong to me. That what we feel for each other isn't some kind of one night stand or a summer affair."

"We know it's more. Isn't that all that matters?"

"Almost…can I ask you something?"

I nodded my head.

"Do you remember the first time we went into Maria's club?"

"I remember dancing with you…and then there was this kinky couple…the blond man and the ginger-head."

"That's not what I meant…I really liked to forget that part of it."

She took my other hand in hers and started drawing invisible circles all over my palm and my wrist.

"When I introduced you to Maria and you told her that your name was Bella Cullen she thought that you were my wife."

"Your wife?" My voice raised two octaves.

"Yes, because you had the same name. And back then I wished so much that she had been right about that."

I leaned down and covered her lips with mine. At first the kiss was gentle, almost hesitant as if we both were searching for something in it. But then the tip of my tongue slipped between her lips, letting me taste the sweetness of her mouth.

"I love you, Ali." I whispered against her trembling lips.

"I love you too, Bella." Then she cleared her throat nervously before she continued her voice so low now that it was barely audible.

"Look, I've never done something like that before. And so I don't know if I'm doing it okay."

"Ali, you don't have to do that. Marriage is nothing but a piece of paper, nothing more."

"No, it's not, Bella. I know that my brother probably gave you that impression but I promise you…"

She took my hand in hers and planted a feather light kiss on the back of my hand.

"I promise you to love you and cherish your love from this day forward until my heart stops beating. Marry me, Bella and I promise to make you as happy as you deserve to be."


	43. Chapter 43

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Blows kisses to her lovely readers out there. I appreciate all your reviews. They are what keep me continue writing.

This chapter is dedicated to **lynettecullen** for liking the proposal and to **DeeJee **because she made me smile when I read her comment about Edward and Fido.

****Chapter 43****

For a very long time I just kept staring down into her gorgeous caramel eyes. Then I realized that I should probably say something to her in response. Slowly I reached out my hand and put a wisp of her short hair behind her ear.

"I love you so much, Ali. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side."

Her ruby tinted lips twitched into a breathtaking smile that exposed her perfect milk-white teeth.

"Is that a yes?"

I swallowed hard to hold back the tears and then I nodded my head.

She leaned over and planted a soft kiss on my trembling mouth, letting the tip of her tongue lick over my lower lip in a featherlike movement.

"Say it, Bella." She mumbled against my lips as she pulled back.

"I think that I need to hear it."

I pulled her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her dainty waist.

"Mary Alice Cullen, I will marry you."

A low chuckle left her throat before she kissed my mouth again.

"I think that's was the first time you called me by my full name."

I pulled her closer to me and planted a soft kiss on the silky curls of her hair.

"I love you…so very much. And I want to make you happy."

She took my left hand in hers and put it to her mouth, blowing kisses on each of my knuckles.

"Do you want a ring?" she asked me almost shy.

"Do you want one?" I asked her back instead of answering her question.

She nodded her head and shoved an invisible ring over my ring finger.

"And I think you should have one too."

"I don't want you to spend so much money on me, Ali."

"Stop being silly, Bella. I want to give you an engagement ring and I will. If you don't accept it you're insulting my pride."

My hand moved under her shirt, circling over the velvety skin of her stomach and down her sides until I reached her hipbone.

"Do you want to have your ring now or later?"

I raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"You already have a ring? Are you kidding me? What would you have done in case I would have said no?"

She pulled a tiny purple box out of the pocket of her jeans and sighed deeply.

"I didn't make a plan for you saying no to my proposal, I just hoped…"

"Ali, of course, I want to marry you. Or maybe it's not so much getting married to you that I want. I want to spend my life with you."

"And I want to spend mine with you, Bella."

"I can't wait for the stupid divorce to be finally over."

"Yeah, I know. I just wished my brother would let you go."

"I really don't want to talk about Edward now. Not tonight, Ali. This is just between me and you."

"Okay, we can deal with him later too."

Then she cleared her voice nervously before she spoke up again.

"Do you want to see your ring now?"

**XXXX**

I was going to do something completely stupid but still I knew that I at least had to try it.

With trembling fingertips I dialed the familiar number, sighing deeply as his smooth voice picked up on the other side of the line.

"Cullen."

I cleared my throat before I spoke up again, desperately trying to make my voice sound calm.

"Edward, it's me."

"Bella?" his voice raised two octaves.

"So, your cunt of a lawyer and the stupid little bastard allowed you to call me, how very gracious of them."

"Firstly, I don't like the way you keep calling Ali a bastard. It's not her fault that your father didn't manage to keep his dick in his pants."

"Do you want to know what he should have done when her? Shove her off into the next orphanage and forget about her."

"That's what you would have done, Edward and I'm really glad that you obviously used protection when you fucked your red-haired whore. You don't deserve to have kids."

"You fucking little piece of shit, how dare you say something like that? Don't dare to think that you're such a good mother!"

"Lower your voice, Edward. I didn't call you to listen to your insults."

"Then, why the fuck, did you call me, Bella?" he snarled through the receiver.

"I called to ask you why you are refusing to sign the divorce papers."

"You're not honestly asking that, are you?"

"Of course, I am."

"Why the hell would I be so stupid to sign those fucking papers? Your malicious attorney already managed to talk my parents into buying off the other half of our house so that you could stay in there with Lilly."

"Zafrina didn't force them to do that. Esme and Carlisle care about their granddaughter and they didn't want her to have to move."

"How nice of them, I'm sure they'll regret that when my daughter is going to live with me in Anchorage."

"Why on earth would I agree to let Lilly move to Alaska?"

"If I'll get full custody for her, you won't have a choice."

"You'll get full custody for her on the day the fire of hell freezes to ice."

"That day might come sooner than you think, Isabella."

"Don't be too sure about that, Edward. Just sign the damn papers and send them back to Zafrina's office if you have any pride left at all."

"I won't do that, Mrs. Cullen and I can tell you exactly why. I know that it pisses you off and that makes me happy. You can be sure that if we go to court, I make sure that you can't show your face around anywhere in Seattle afterwards."

**XXXX**

I parked the Volvo in front of Rosalie and Emmett's house and turned off the engine.

"So, we agree about not telling anyone about the engagement until the divorce is through, do we?" I asked Ali as we stepped out of the car.

She nodded her head, her gorgeous eyes looking sad now.

"Hey," I whispered and wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling her pixie body closer to me.

"It's not that I don't want to, Ali. It's just…technically it's impossible to get engaged while you're still married to someone else."

Slowly I leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her full lips, tasting the sweetness of her mouth as the tip of my tongue slipped between her parted lips.

"I love you and I'll marry you, Ali. We'll just have to keep the news to ourselves for a little while."

"Kay, that's no biggie for me, Bella. You're the one who has a problem to lie to people."

"There is a difference between telling a lie and not mentioning something."

She chuckled slightly as she knocked on the door.

"That's what you think, honey."

The door opened and the huge russet colored dog almost made me fall flat on my back.

"Fido, sit." Emmett instructed and the dog whimpered as if he still were a little puppy.

"Good boy."

"You should probably work a little bit on his temper." Ali told him cheerfully, wiping the slobber from her hands.

"Fido doesn't have a temper. He's just passionate and a little bit too protective."

"Protective?"

"You'll see what I mean, Bella."

We walked into the house and when Ali hugged her blond haired sister a low growl left the dogs snout.

Rosalie sighed deeply and sat down on the edge of the couch.

"Come here, you jealous monster." She told him and petted his huge head with her fingertips as he pressed it against her stomach.

"You're encouraging him and you know that, Rosie."

Lilly looked up from her coloring book and frowned.

"Fido is so stupid. He doesn't want to play anymore. He just keeps pressing his head against Auntie Rosie's belly all the time."

I pulled my daughter on my lap and planted a kiss on her copper curls.

"I'm sorry about that Lilly."

"Me too," Emmett stated, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I don't know why he's acting like that but it's starting to get quite annoying."

"We brought a present for you." Ali told her sister and pulled a glass of mustard out of her handbag.

"I wanted to buy you flowers but Bella thought that you'd properly like this much better."

Her lips twitched into a smile.

"Well, she's right about that. God, mustard is so delicious. I'm considering writing a book about…"

"About on what food you can put that stuff on. I would just like to know…if I put some of that on my…"

"McCarthy, you're such a pervert."

He chuckled slightly and planted a kiss on the rosy cheek of his wife. This small caress earned him another growl from the dog.

I took Ali's hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"So, how are things working with your divorce?"

I frowned and hesitated for a moment before I spoke up again.

"Not that good. Edward refuses to sign the divorce papers which mean that we'll go to court."

"I assume that Esme and Carlisle don't know about that am I right?"

Ali nodded her head and I pulled her closer to me when I recognized the slight tremble in her hands.

"They'll find out soon enough, I guess."

"Why doesn't he want to sign the papers?" Emmett asked me, while he sipped on the glass of coke in front of him.

"Because he tries to make things more difficult for me...and for us…" I mumbled, taking Ali's hand in mine again. The metal of the small rings clicked against each other and I sighed deeply.

"He's still obsessed with this full custody thing for Lilly and he wants her to move to Alaska to stay there with him."

"I'm going to move to Alaska?" Lilly asked me, her voice sounding horrified.

"No, sweetie, you won't."

"Bella, you really need to start explaining things to her so that she can understand them. I don't think she does that right now. She still thinks that her father will come back so that the four of you will live together under one roof."

"Rosalie, I know that this is confusing for Lilly but I don't know how…"

"Just do it, Bella and promise me to do it soon."

I nodded my head.

Then her eyes caught the small rose-gold rings on our hands and she raised one eyebrow.

"Lilly sweetie, would you be so nice, and get me some cookies for Fido from the kitchen?"

As soon as she was out of the room she shoved the dog away from her lap and kneeled down in front of her pixie-like sister, taking her left hand in hers.

"Is there anything that you would like to tell me about, Ali?"

"Yes…no…I don't really know. Bella and I think that it would be better…"

"Excuse me, but thinking isn't exactly your strong point." Her blue eyes sparkled feisty as she looked at me and back to her younger sister.

"And that goes for both of you."

"We don't have to justify the decisions we make for our life to other people."

"Other people? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm your sister and not fucking other people!"

"Rosie, sweetheart, try to calm down. I'm sure that Ali didn't mean it like that."

"Emmett is actually right, Rose. We just wanted to keep it to ourselves until the divorce is through."

"Hmm,"

"Hey, don't be so sullen, Rose. That's not good for the babies."

"The babies are pretty fine, thanks."

Lilly returned from the kitchen and started feeding the cookies to the dog who had obviously decided that it would be okay to turn his attention away from his pregnant mistress as long as he was eating.

"Can I ask you something? Are you just going to change your name back to Cullen when you and Ali…well you know what I mean."

"We haven't really talked about that yet but wouldn't it be weird somehow to go to all of this to get rid of the name Cullen just to keep it in the end?"

**XOXOXOXXOOXO**

[A/N] Hope you liked the update. The next chapter should be up tomorrow…if I find enough motivation to write it.


	44. Chapter 44

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. Thanks to all of you who take the time to read and review. It really means a lot to me, so please keep them coming.

This chapter is dedicated to **Silvi86** and **SOFisticated1**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 44****

_Ali's POV_

I continued nibbling on the end of my pencil and tried to concentrate on the sketch on front of me. It didn't work. So instead of drawing a new dress on the white sheet of paper I wrote down the words that were running through my mind.

_Mary Alice Swan_

_Mary Alice Swan_

_Mary Alice Swan_

_Mary Alice Swan_

A smile flashed over my face and I wondered if I should just tell Bella that I would prefer taking her name when we got married. It would make things so much easier for us and it wasn't like the name Cullen represented too much luck for me. I painted a heart around the names. Jeez, Ali, how old are you, twelve?

"Auntie Ali?"

"Yes, Lilly?"

"When is my Daddy coming home?"

I sighed deeply and stood up from the kitchen chair. Slowly I walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of orange juice, desperately trying to think of a good way to distract her from her question.

"Are you thirsty, Lilly?"

She nodded her head and I poured her a glass, almost spilling half of the content on the floor when I handed it to her.

She sipped on it and placed it on the edge of the kitchen table.

"Auntie Ali, when is my Daddy coming home?"

So much for trying to distract her…

"Come here, honey." I told her, pulling her on my lap. Slowly I put a wisp of her long copper hair around my fingers. It was starting to get darker, or maybe it was just the way the sunlight reflected on it. Today there was no hint of sunshine at all.

"Look Lilly, your Daddy won't come back to live in this house with us anymore."

"Are we moving to Alaska?" she sounded worried now.

I quickly shook my head.

"No sweetie, we are not moving to Alaska, but your Daddy is going to live there."

"Alone?"

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"Yes, Lilly." At least, I hoped so. God, what would I do if he somehow managed to get custody? Or more so, what would we do?

A low whimper left her mouth and then I felt warm tears against the bare skin of my neck.

"Why are you crying, sweetie?"

"Because my Daddy is dying…"

"He's what? Lilly, what makes you think something like that? He won't die just because he's going to live on his own."

"Grandma said something like that."

I raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"What did she tell you?"

"Nothing…but she told Auntie Rosie that all of this will be the end of him and then she cried and said it could kill him."

For a split second I cursed my mother silently for irritating her like that but then I realized that it was the whole situation itself that was irritating her.

My sister had been right when she told us that we needed to explain things to her. But when would be the right time to tell her?

"Honey, do you know how it's like to be angry at someone?"

She nodded her head and sniffed, wiping her running nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

"You see, sometimes when grown-up people are angry at each other it's better for them if they don't see each other too often."

"Mommy and Daddy are angry at each other, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are. But they're not angry at you, Lilly. Never forget that."

I planted a kiss on her forehead before I pulled out a tissue and cleaned her face with it.

"Auntie Ali, why are Mommy and Daddy so angry at each other?"

Hmm, let's see. Your father is a cheating bastard who treats your mother like crap and then there's the fact that I love her way more than I should do it as your aunt. No, there was no way to tell her that.

"Don't you know why they are angry at each other?"

"Yes…no…yes, well, maybe you should better ask your Mommy about that." Coward…

"But Mommy is working and I want to know it now." She insisted stubbornly.

"Fine, do you remember how your Daddy always used to work in Alaska?"

She nodded her head.

"Mommy was always sad when he was gone. But when he came home she wasn't happy."

"Hmm, yeah I know, sweetie." Or I don't. I still wonder how Bella managed to endure this loveless joke of a marriage for such a long time.

"But since you're living with us she's always happy." She stated, standing up from my lap.

Then her eyes caught the sheet of paper on the table and slowly she started reading the words that I had written on it in my scrawly handwriting.

"Why did you write that your name is Swan?" she asked me curiously.

"Oh, that was just a test, sweetie. I wanted to see how it would look like."

"Are you going to change your name like my Mommy did it?"

"Maybe…" Hopefully, if everything happens like I wish it to happen.

"I want to change my name too." She stated, taking the glass with the juice between her hands.

"I don't want to have a different name than my Mommy and you."

I swallowed hard and grabbed the sheet of paper from the table, quickly stuffing it into the pocket of my jeans.

Then I kneeled down in front of her, wrapping my arms around her tiny body. I inhaled deeply through my nose as I planted a kiss on her head, inhaling the strawberry fragrance that streamed out of her hair.

"We'll see what we can do about that, sweetie." I mumbled so low that I wasn't even sure if she would be able to hear me at all. And right now, I knew that it didn't matter. What mattered was that I wanted her to understand how much I cared about her and her mother.

**XXXX**

Her chocolate eyes narrowed into tiny angry slits when she recognized the honey blonde figure that was standing next to me in the small garden behind the house.

"What the hell is she doing here?" she croaked out, her voice trembling with anger.

"Hello to you too, Bella," Jasmine greeted her halfheartedly, twisting her hair into a knot at the back of her neck.

"Ali, I hate to repeat myself. What is Jasmine doing here?"

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"I didn't tell her to come, Bella. But…"

"No but, Ali. I don't want her here. Have you forgotten that she kissed you the last time she showed up here?"

No, I haven't forgotten that, I thought bitterly. But I really wished I could and you should probably do that too, it would make things easier.

"Your _fiancée _seems to be a little tensed today, Ali."

"You told her? Ali, I thought that we agreed to keep the engagement to ourselves until my divorce is over."

"Yeah, she told me. Got a problem with that, Bella? Maybe you're not too sure about your decision, that's why you don't want other people to know. It'll make you look less like a liar when you turn her down in the end."

"Jasmine, please, stop saying things like that. Why do you always have to be so bitchy to her?"

"Because you need to hear the truth, darling." She told me, leaning over to touch my face. Instantly I stopped breathing. Before her hand made contact with my skin, she landed flat on the grass next to us.

"I think, I told you not to touch her again. Are you too stupid to grasp that?"

Slowly she stood up again, wiping some dirt from her jeans.

"And you should grasp that I'm part of Ali's life, Bella. Always have been, always will. There is nothing that you can do about that, straight girl."

Bella inhaled sharply between her teeth, trying to calm herself down.

"You really think that you're better than me just because no man ever touched your skinny ass, don't you?"

"I know the difference between people like us and people like you."

"Jazz, please, shut up now."

She chuckled slightly, her lips twitching into a crooked smile, that made me want to punch her straight in the guts.

When she disappeared at the corner of the house, I sighed in relief. Slowly I sat down on the blanket on the grass.

"That was awful."

Bella kneeled down next to me, her face still tensed

"Yes it was. Ali. How dare she to show up here again after what happened the last time?"

I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"She was here because I called her."

"You what? Why on earth would you call her?"

"Because…because…,"

"Ali?"

"Bella, look, this is complicated. Jasmine is important to me. She's my best friend and I can't keep secrets from her."

"I hate to remind you, _darling_, but friendship isn't exactly what's on her mind."

"I know, Bella. Please you need to trust me with this."

She took my hand in hers and starting rubbing small circles all over my wrist. The small caress sent a tingly feeling through my entire body.

"I love you, Ali and I don't want to lose you."

"Bella…"

"I'm serious, Ali. She's probably trying to lull you in with her whole psycho crap."

I cupped her face between my hands and stroked down her cheeks until I reached the soft skin on her collarbone. Carefully I placed my right hand right beneath the amber stone around her neck, feeling her heart pulsating against my palm.

"I love you, Bella. And you really don't have to be jealous of Jazz."

"Hmm,"

Slowly I leaned over and planted a kiss on her lips. Her heartbeat quickened under my hand and I licked the velvety skin of her lower lip, until a low moan left her mouth and I used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Her mouth warm and tasted sweet. As if she had just eaten a piece of chocolate moments ago. So delicious…

I pulled us over, so that I was straddling her. My lips never left hers and she whimpered slightly as I sucked her tongue into my mouth to caress it tenderly.

"Someone might see us." she mumbled against my lips when she finally pulled back.

"Do you care?"

"Not really,"

"Good," I whispered while my hands moved under her shirt to circle my thumb over her stomach.

"I like that you're so cuddly, Bella." I whispered as I stroked over the soft skin of her rounded hips.

"You mean, chubby."

"No, I don't. I love every single pound on you and wished you would start to get more comfortable about your body."

"Easy to say for you, Ali, your body is just perfect."

I rolled my eyes at that.

"Apart from my stupid heart and the fact that I have the size of a dwarf…"

"I like that you're so small." She told me, wrapping her arms around my waist to pull me closer.

The folded piece of paper that I had already forgotten about landed on the blanket, and she grabbed it before I could stop her.

She giggled when she recognized the crimson blush on my face.

"Mary Alice Swan?"

"I just…I just wanted to see how it would look like."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Do you like the way it looks like, Ali?"

I nodded my head as I leaned down to rest it against her shoulder, twisting my fingers into the silkiness of her chestnut hair.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too and I actually think that the Swan name thing is a good idea."

**XOXOXOXXOOXOX**

[A/N] How did you like the new chapter? The part where Ali is trying to explain things to Lilly was difficult to write. I mean; how can you explain that to a little child. Hope it turned out okay.

I've written a little one-shot called Beautiful about a Rosalie/Bella pairing. If you like my writing you should check it out too.

Until next time, take care.


	45. Chapter 45

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back, my lovely readers, and thanks to all of you who keep reading my little story here. It's your support that keeps me motivated to continue writing.

This chapter is dedicated to **aquarius127** and **Silvi86 **for leaving such nice reviews that really made my day.

*Lemon alert in this chapter. As usual don't like/don't read but I don't think that you would still be here if you didn't like them. Am I right?*

****Chapter 45****

Her hair was still damp from the shower and when I wrapped my arms around her dainty waist and buried my face against her shoulder she sighed deeply.

"Are you okay?" I asked her worriedly, letting my fingertips stroke up and down her spine in feather light movements.

"I don't know. I can't stop thinking about my…well about Sasha."

"She was your mother and you can call her that. It doesn't hurt."

"I think that it might hurt Esme if I do it. I mean, Sasha didn't even want to keep me. How can I call her my mother? It's so weird."

"I know, Ali. And I'm sorry that they lied to you for such a long time."

"Hmm,"

She cleared her throat nervously and sat down on the edge of the bed. Her hands grabbed the bottle of massage oil and started rubbing it on the pearly skin of her slim legs.

"Let me do that." I whispered, taking the bottle from her hands. The sweet scent of vanilla filled the air as my hands moved over the smooth skin of her calves, slowly stroking higher and higher until I reached the red lilies on her left hipbone.

"I really like your tattoo, Ali."

"I always wanted to get one but I'm not really good at the whole enduring pain thing."

"It didn't hurt that much, Bella. Or at least, I had worse."

Slowly I leaned over and let a few drops of the massage oil trickle over her flat stomach. When I rubbed it into her skin a low purring noise escaped her lips.

"You like that, don't you?" I mumbled while my fingers brushed the underside of her perky breasts.

"A lot actually," She whispered and cupped my face between her hands. I closed my eyes, enjoying the velvety touch of her lower lip against mine. The tip of her tongue slipped into my mouth and when she nudged it against my tongue a shiver went down my spine.

Her right hand stroked down my jaw and my collarbone until she reached my breast. Her thumb circled over my nipple that pebbled almost instantly under her tender caress. She squeezed it between her thumb and her forefinger before she lowered her head and swirled her tongue over the hard nubs.

"Do you trust me?" she whispered as she kissed her way up again. Her breathe tickled the skin on my neck and another wave of pleasant warmth streamed through my body.

"Of course, I trust you. Why are you asking?"

She planted a kiss on the shell of my ear, grazing it playfully with her teeth.

Slowly she pulled out the purple bag from under the bed and my eyes widened in anticipation. Before I could see any of the toys that were hidden in it everything around me went dark.

"Ali…"

"Shh…" she mumbled against my neck.

"Just trust me. I'm going to make this good for you."

I felt her fingertips stroking down my forearms and then she wrapped something around them. The cold metal of the bedframe nudged against my wrist and for a split second I panicked.

"You are nervous, aren't you?"

"No…" I croaked out, trying to keep breathing in and out calmly through my nose.

She chuckled and sat down on my lap, her slim thighs pressing against my hips.

"You really suck at lying, sweetheart."

Then she leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose through the thin fabric of the silk scarf.

"Don't be afraid. You're going to enjoy this…"

Her thumbs circled over my nipples and I bit my lower lip to suppress a moan. When I felt her lips closing around the tiny nub I whimpered slightly. She suckled my nipple greedily while her hand massaged my other breast in small circles.

There was an unfamiliar noise in the background and I wondered what it could be. Then I felt the tip of the vibe against my clit and almost came undone. Painfully slowly she moved it up and down my overheated flesh making me gasp at the intensity of the contact. My legs started trembling and right before I reached my climax she pulled back.

She moved the vibrator over my stomach, leaving a trail of slick wetness over my body. I felt her tongue between my legs and inhaled sharply through my teeth.

"So warm and delicious…" She mumbled hoarsely, her voice thick with lust while the tip of her tongue swirled over the throbbing pearl of my clit.

Carefully she shoved the tip of the vibrating toy into me, making me ache for more. Deeper and deeper she inserted it until it was finally complete inside of me. I gasped at the feeling of being filled so completely while she continued lapping up the wetness that kept pouring out my entrance.

Every muscle in my body went ridged and then finally…finally the sweet release of my climax washed over me. My inner walls convulsed around the toy inside of me so strong that it made my legs tremble.

She untied my hands and planted soft kisses over my wrists.

"Touch me." She whispered into my ear and when I felt how incredibly wet she was, it was almost enough to bring me over the edge of my lust again.

"I want to taste you." I mumbled so low that my voice barely audible now.

A whimper escaped her mouth and I wondered if she was biting into a pillow or something like that to suppress her moans.

Slowly she lowered herself over my face and I licked her all the way from the tiny pearl of her clit over the velvety skin of her inner lips until I reached her tight entrance. My tongue slipped into the moist warmth while my thumb continued circling over her clit. She tasted sweet and the musky scent that filled my nose made me feel dizzy. There was nothing around me now apart from her and when she convulsed around my tongue, I licked up every drop that kept pouring out of her.

"Look at me." she whispered as she untied the scarf around my head, letting it carelessly fall down next to the bed.

Her lips found mine again and the taste of her lust melted with mine, mixing it into something completely new that was just us and nothing else…

**XXXX**

I sipped on the glass of white wine in front of me while I continued rubbing Ali's knee under the table. She was terribly nervous about this meeting with her half-brother and I hoped that the whole agitation wouldn't be too much for her heart. I felt the blood pulsating against my fingertips as I started drawing circles over her wrist.

"I'm sorry," Benjamin croaked out after several awkward moments of silence.

"But this whole situation is awkward somehow. I don't really know what to say."

Ali sighed deeply and nodded her head in agreement.

"The thing is that I don't know how I'm supposed to feel like. I've been an only child my entire life."

"Lucky guy…" Ali mumbled, picking around in the food on her plate.

"Don't you get along with your other siblings? I thought that you were raised with them?"

"Hmm, my sister is really great. She's a little too vain and superficial but she's got a big heart behind her bitchiness."

"Do you have a picture?"

She pulled a wrinkled Polaroid picture out of her purse and handed it to him.

A sheepish grin flashed over his face and he chuckled slightly before he spoke up again.

"What a looker."

"Yeah, Rosalie is very pretty, I know."

He shook his head.

"Not her, him. God, he's such a hottie. Don't tell me he's her boyfriend or something like that."

"Her husband actually, so don't get your hopes up too high."

Benjamin rolled his eyes at that.

"The hot ones are always straight; so not fair."

"What happened to your plans to win the heart of our boss?" I asked him cheerfully, taking another sip of the sweet wine.

"I'm still working on that, trust me. But while I'm doing that, it won't hurt to risk a view here…or there."

"Hmm,"

"I've recently discovered that it pisses Seth off, when I'm flirting with our customers. If that ain't love…"

"It's not fair if you're trying to make him jealous." Ali stated.

"Bella is so jealous too and I really don't like that at all."

I took a deep breathe through my nose before I spoke up.

"That's something completely different. Your so-called best friend is trying to lull you in with all her psycho crap. She needs to move on…seriously." I tried to make my voice sound calm, suppressing the anger in me.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Can I have some ice-cream now?"

"What happened to finishing your pasta first?"

"I don't like it. There are yucky carrots in it." She wrinkled her little snub nose in disgust.

"Lilly, you know that you get no ice cream if you don't eat some real food first."

"But I hate carrots. Mommy, please…"

Her mouth twisted into that crooked smile that made her look so much like her father, that I almost spilled the content of my glass over the table.

"No." I croaked out, my voice sounding a little bit too harsh in my own ears. My copper haired daughter cringed slightly and turned to her pixie-like aunt in the hope that her smile would have a more successful influence on her.

"Auntie Ali…"

"Sweetie, your Mommy already told you no. If you don't eat your carrots, you can't have ice cream. And trust me, sweetie, you wouldn't want to miss the ice cream here. It's really good."

"You are both so mean. I don't want to eat carrots…ever. They are so yucky. My Daddy wouldn't make me eat them." She stated, shoving them disgustedly to the edge of her plate.

"Lilly, your father is not here right now. And he wouldn't let you eat ice-cream unless you finished your dinner."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and I wondered if she would probably start to cry now.

To my surprise she didn't do it. Instead she turned to Benjamin, her voice smooth like honey when she spoke up.

"Benjamin, do you want to eat my carrots for me? I give you two dollars if you do that."

"I'm sorry, Lilly. But I can't do that. I'm allergic to carrots."

"Really?"

He nodded his head.

"And strawberries and nuts and a bunch of other stuff. Are you allergic to something, Ali?"

"No, I'm not. I guess my heart condition is enough for one person to endure."

His face paled slightly and I realized that his hands trembled when he placed his fork on his plate.

"How sick is your heart?" he asked her worriedly.

Ali sighed deeply. It was obvious that this was the subject that she didn't want to talk about.

"It was worse when I was a child but now it's pretty okay, as long as I take my pills and don't get too agitated about something."

"Your father is a cardiologist, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. I guess that was pretty useful when I was younger…or it wasn't. I hate the way he and my mother always made such a fuss about it."

"You don't know what it is like…" he mumbled so low that his voice was barely audible. Then he cleared his throat nervously before he continued.

"You don't know how it's like to worry about someone you love. How it's like to go to sleep at night and not know whether she'll wake up again in the morning. All the tubes and the machines…"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, that's okay. Like, I said. You don't know how it is like."

"And you do, don't you?"

He nodded his head.

"I can't even remember my Mom as a healthy person."

"Can I ask you something about her?"

"Of course you can; anything you want."

"Why did she die in Romania? I mean, if she was so sick, why would she travel so far?"

"Because she was stubborn and insisted that she wanted to visit her family like every other summer. Dad, tried to talk her out of it but she was so, I don't know…happy somehow to spread the news to her brother and the rest of them."

"What kind of news?"

"That she was pregnant. She was so happy about that, absolutely thrilled. And then…"

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to." I stated quickly as I noticed the pained expression on his face.

"No it's okay. It was a long time ago and I don't remember much about it."

He sighed deeply but then he forced his lips into a fake smile that didn't reach his eyes that now had a bright blue color. I assumed that he had invested into a new pair of contacts. Why the hell was he trying to hide the beautiful caramel tone of his eyes? Did it remind him of his mother to see them in the mirror? I didn't dare to ask.

"She died because the pregnancy was too much for her weak heart. Isn't that weird how something that you wish for so badly can be the end of your life?"


	46. Chapter 46

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Hello everyone. I'm so thankful to all of you who keep reading and reviewing. Your positive feedback means a lot to me.

This chapter is dedicated to **aurike** and **ifonlylifewassimple**. Hope you'll enjoy.

#FAQ#

Is Alice going to die in this story?

No she isn't. In fact none of the main characters is going to die. Not even Cheat-ward and I bet some of you would be pretty happy if let his plane crash or something like that.

****Chapter 46****

"Are you sure that Rose is okay with this?" I asked him skeptically, while my fingertips stroked over the huge head of the russet colored dog next to me.

He sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead with his thumb before he spoke up again.

"I didn't tell her yet."

"Are you hoping that she just won't notice it when you show up later without the dog?"

"Not really."

He pulled two airline tickets out of his pocket and waved them at us.

"Well, firstly I'm going to convince her to visit my parents in Tennessee and when we're back I'm trying to think of a good way to break the news to her."

Lilly kneeled down next to the dog on the ground and wrapped her tiny arms around him.

"Is Fido really going to stay here with us?"

"Yes, sweetie…I mean if your mother and your aunt allow it."

"Mommy, are we keeping him?"

I nodded my head, knowing that my little daughter would throw a tantrum if I didn't agree to that. How difficult could it be to care for an animal?

"We are keeping him…tentatively."

"Hurray! Can he sleep in my room?"

"In your room, yes but not on your bed, Lilly."

The dog whimpered slightly and stood up again. Lilly looked like a little doll next to this russet colored fur ball.

Her tiny hands grabbed the metal collar on his neck as she pulled him after her.

"Come with me, Fido."

When she was out of sight, Emmett sighed deeply.

"Rosie is going to be so fucking pissed at me."

"Why don't you want to keep the dog?" Ali asked him, sipping on the glass of orange juice in her hands.

"He could hurt the babies when they are born. Not on purpose of course, but accidentally. I read in one of the pregnancy books that infants could choke to death on the hairs."

"I think the risk that they drown in his slobber is higher." Ali stated, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"We don't have to keep the dog if you don't want to." I told her, hugging her tightly from behind.

I buried my face against her neck and planted a soft kiss on the sensitive skin right below her earlobe.

"Of course we're keeping him, Bella. The thing is that I'm not really good with pets. I killed my goldfish by feeding it with chips."

Emmett chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, I remember that. You insisted that we buried that thing in your parents' backyard instead of flushing it down the toilet."

**XXXX**

I put another pregnancy book into a small box. God, I had already forgotten how much of that stuff I had bought when I had Lilly. Unfortunately these books tell you a whole lot of theory and absolutely nothing about the reality. They tell you that you lose weight if you breastfeed and I wished that it would be possible to sue those liars for not keeping that promise. I still hadn't managed to get rid of the damn belly fat and no matter how often Ali told me how much she liked my body, I still didn't feel comfortable with it.

As if she could somehow read my mind she hugged me tightly from behind. She pulled my long hair over my shoulder and planted a kiss on the exposed skin of my neck.

"Bella, are you sure that you want to give all of them to my sister?"

I was really glad that the baby years were over now and I hoped that I would have a few less exhausting years with Lilly now until she reached puberty.

"Why should I keep them?" I asked her nervously.

"Well, I thought that maybe..." she started hesitantly, her pale cheeks turning into a bright crimson color.

"…maybe we might still need them ourselves…possibly."

Slowly I sat down next to her on the couch and took her hand in mine to rub small circles over her wrist.

"You want to have a baby? Is this some kind of joke?" My voice raised two octaves.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, while her caramel eyes starred down on the ground, trying to avoid eye contact.

"Ali?"

I leaned over and put one finger under her chin.

"Look at me."

Slowly she raised her head again.

"I'm not saying that I want one right now. There are still so many other things that we have to deal with, but in a year or two…"

"No way!" I croaked out hoarsely.

"Have you forgotten what Benjamin told us about your mother?"

"Two out of three of her pregnancies turned out pretty fine and my condition isn't as bad as hers was."

"Ali, you can't be serious about that. Look if this is about your sister being pregnant right now…"

She shook her head.

"It has nothing to do with Rosie, more with you, Bella."

"With me?"

She took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"I never thought that I wanted to have kids but that was before I met you. With you…I want everything."

"You can't expect me to agree to you risking your life, Ali."

"Bella, you don't need to worry about me."

"Of course, I have to. This is the stupidest idea you ever had. Firstly, I would never…ever agree to something that would endanger your health and secondly, how should you get pregnant without a man. Isn't that sort of essential for that?"

She inhaled sharply between her teeth and stood up from the couch.

"There are…ways…"

"What kind of ways? Do you want to buy some frozen sperm from the internet?"

"I haven't really thought about that yet."

"And you shouldn't start doing it at all. Look, Ali, I love you, but…"

"But you don't want a child with me, do you? Of course, you don't want that…because you already have a child with my shithead of a brother!"

"Ali, calm down. This has nothing to do with Edward or Lilly. I just don't want to risk…"

"You promised me not to treat me differently because of my stupid heart and now you're acting as I were some sort of porcelain doll that might accidentally break."

"Ali, you can't be angry at me for being worried and even if your heart wasn't sick, what it is, no matter how much you try to play that down..."

"I'm not playing it down. You can call Carlisle…or maybe better Dr. Bennett if you want to."

"Maybe, I'll do that later. Your father might be able to convince you about the possible risks, so that you know what you are talking about getting yourself into."

"Bella, you can't tell Carlisle. He'll freak."

"If that breaks your stubbornness, I will. You can't expect me to agree to something that might be dangerous for you."

"I expect you to be supportive about something that's important to me…" her voice was trembling when she croaked out the last words. When I looked into her eyes again, they looked glassy from the tears she was trying to hold back.

**XXXX**

"Mommy, why are you crying?" Lilly asked me as she walked into the living room.

"It's nothing, sweetie." I mumbled, wiping my wet cheeks on the sleeve of my shirt.

"Where is Auntie Ali?"

Gone, I thought…officially she's helping Rosalie to pack for the trip to Tennessee but the truth is that she was too pissed at me to stay in the same room with me. God, what if she didn't come back? What if…

"Mommy, where is Auntie Ali?"

I pulled a tissue out of my pocket and cleaned my nose.

"She's at your aunt's house. Why are you asking?"

"Because I heard you crying and normally, Auntie Ali, is there when you are sad about something."

"Oh Lilly," I croaked out, pulling her on my lap. It was wrong to let myself go like that in front of her but I couldn't bring up the strength to fight back the tears.

She stroked up and down my back in small circles until the sobbing finally subsided.

"Are you and Auntie Ali angry at each other?"

I nodded my head.

"Kind of…"

Slowly I stood up from the couch and walked over to the window, recognizing that it was already dark outside.

"Why are you angry at each other?"

My fingertips moved over a silver-framed baby picture of Lilly that was standing on the windowsill. Her smile exposed a single milk teeth and I thought about the nights I had spent sleepless nights until she had it.

"Don't you know why you are angry at each other?"

"Yes, I do." Or I don't.

"I just don't want to talk about it, Lilly. Do you think that you're old enough to understand that?"

She nodded her head.

"Of course, I can. I'm not a baby anymore."

I planted a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"And I'm too old to get kissed, Mommy."

"Too bad," I mumbled, suppressing a low noise that almost sounded like a giggle.

I heard the key turn around in the lock and my heartbeat increased suddenly while my palms started sweating.

The dog that had been taking a little nap on a blanket in a corner of the kitchen rushed to the front door.

A moment later Ali walked into the living room, trying not to stumble over the dog that started rubbing himself against her. Maybe he did it because her scent reminded him of Rosalie. Maybe he had missed her too. Who knows what's going on in a dog's head?

Then I realized how red and puffy her caramel eyes looked and something cramped painfully around my heart.

"Lilly, sweetie, can you do me a favor and let the dog out in the garden?" I croaked out.

As soon as she was out of sight I turned to Ali. Hesitantly I put one arm on her shoulder, not sure if it would be a good idea to touch her now.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her, close but not close enough for me.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." She mumbled against my neck, while I felt warm tears rolling down my cheeks again.

"No, you don't have to be sorry, Ali." because I'm the one who should be sorry not her.

We sat down on the couch and I took her hand in mine. Then I put it to my mouth and planted several kisses all over her palm.

"I'm sorry. If you really want to have a baby, I should be more supportive about that."

She sighed deeply and rested her head against my shoulder. The short curls of her dark hair tickled my skin and I twisted my fingers into the silkiness.

"I love you, Ali." I whispered before I leaned down to kiss her full lips tenderly. The tip of her tongue licked over my lower lip and a low moan escaped my throat.

"And I love you, Bella." she mumbled against my mouth when she pulled back.

"I shouldn't have been so angry that you were worried. If the situation were the other way round I would be worried too."

I kissed her again, sucking her upper lip between my teeth to nibble on it.

"If you had a baby…what would that make me?" I asked her while my fingertips stroked down the velvety skin on her collarbone.

"He or she is not going to call you Daddy-mom if that's what worries you."

"That's not how I meant it. It's just…I feel kind of excluded because…well technically I wouldn't even be related to the child."

She took my left hand in hers and rubbed her thumb over the rose-gold ring.

"But it's going to be a part of you," I continued.

"And that will be enough to love it."


	47. Chapter 47

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Blows kisses to all her lovely readers out there. Thanks and hugs for all your encouragement and feedback. I can't believe I managed to get over 900th reviews with this soap opera…ahm I mean Twilight fan fiction.

This chapter is dedicated to **aurike** and **Villemo79**. Hope you'll like it.

****Chapter 47****

I cleared my throat nervously and wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans while I thought about a good way to respond to the last question.

"I would…I mean, I think…" Jeez, why was it so difficult to verbalize the things that were so obvious to me? Why don't I want to have joint custody with my husband? Because he's an arrogant ass who cares about no one apart from him. Would it be okay to use the word ass in front of the judge?

Zafrina sighed deeply and sat down next to me on the red leather couch.

"Bella, you need to sound less insecure. If you stumble out your answers like a sophomore in a school test, no one is going to believe that you're serious about this."

"Of course, I'm serious. Look, I'm sorry that I suck so badly at this whole questioning thing but the thought of being in court makes me so…nervous kind of."

She nodded her head and walked over to the mahogany cupboard on the other side of her office. The glass clinked against the dark bottle as she grabbed both of it in her right hand.

"What's that? Iced tea?" I asked her as she poured a light brownish liquid into the glass.

"Bourbon, I think it could help you to relax a little bit."

"By getting drunk?"

"You're not supposed to drink the entire bottle; just one glass."

"Kay."

I gulped down the content of the glass in two gulps. It tasted disgustingly bitter but afterwards a pleasant wave of warmth spread through my body.

"Why do you have Bourbon in your office?"

"I have a drinking problem."

"Really?"

"Jeez, you're not that good at sarcasm, are you? The Bourbon was a gift from a client."

"I see."

"You don't have to worry too much about the court thing. We're going to practice all the possible questions that your dipshit of a husband might come up with. But you need to remember; whatever you say, Bella, you need to sound like you don't have doubts about your decision."

"I don't have any." I told her, while I twisted my hairs into a knot at the back of my neck.

"I know that, Bella, but the judge doesn't. And it's him or her that you need to convince not me."

"I don't know what I'm going to do if Edward gets custody for Lilly." I mumbled, already feeling the tears starting to burn in my eyes.

"Why do you think that he could get custody?"

"Because…well I don't know. Edward might say that the relationship between me and Ali would have a bad influence on Lilly or something like that."

"What kind of bad influence?"

"That she might get confused because she has two moms now. Well technically she still has only one mom but…"

"I see what you mean. If he tries something like that, we'll sue him for discriminating you because of your sexual orientation. Trust me it won't be a clever move from his side."

"And he always says that I'm…well…instable?"

"Instable? You've practically raised your child alone since she was born because your husband was too busy fucking around…ahm I mean, working. I don't think that someone who's…instable would have been able to do that. But anyway, if he thinks that you're mentally instable we need to get a psychological report to disprove that."

Great, I thought. Now I have to talk to some fucking shrink about whether I'm a good mother or not.

"Do you want to make an appointment with Miss Whitlock yourself or do you want me to call her for you?"

"Jasmine?" my voice raised two octaves, reaching an embarrassingly shrill frequency.

"Is there a problem with that, Bella?"

"No…"

She chuckled slightly and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Bella, it's a good thing that you're not working in my profession. You really suck at lying."

"Fine, so I have a problem with that. I don't want to talk to Jasmine. She and I don't get along that well."

Understatement of the year…

"You're not supposed to spend the holidays with her. She's a shrink and you need one for the stupid report."

"Is she the only fucking shrink in this town?"

"Jeez, Bella, you need to calm down. If you don't want to see Jasmine, we'll find someone else."

"Thanks." I mumbled halfheartedly.

"You're jealous of her, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. She's jealous of me because I'm with Ali now."

"I didn't say that she's not jealous. That's pretty obvious to anyone who's not completely blind."

"Really?"

She nodded her head and took a rose from the vase on her desk, crumbling its petals between her fingers.

"She thinks that she's still in love with Ali. But the thing is that she's not in love with her…it's like she's in love with the idea of love. Pretty naïve if you ask me but what can you expect from someone who gets money for throwing psycho crap at other people."

"Hmm,"

"But you're jealous too because you don't understand the relationship between Jasmine and your girlfriend."

"I don't want to understand it."

"If you're not interested in pissing off your girlfriend you should at least try it."

"What for? She's trying to steal away Ali from me. She even kissed her. This is so…"

"Tragic for all three of you but quite funny for anyone from the outside…" her dark eyes sparkled sheepishly.

"I kind of like women who get so enthusiastic when it comes to love. And just for the record; you can't steal anyone away that doesn't want to be stolen away. And you can't make someone love you if the other person doesn't return the feelings."

**XXXX**

"Hello, Miss Swan. It's nice to meet you." The red-haired woman greeted me friendly, exposing a row of perfect pearl-white teeth. Her hair was too red to be real but it formed a beautiful contrast to her Alabaster skin.

"I'm Didyme Volturi. Miss Penthes office called me that you needed someone to do a psychological report about your mental status."

I nodded my head.

"Well, she thought that it would be necessary for the divorce."

"You and your husband are fighting about the custody for your child, aren't you?"

"Yes, we are. God, this is so messed up. I'm just glad that Lilly is too young to really understand what's going on."

She pulled out a small tablet and started taking notes.

"Do you want to drink something?" I asked her, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

"Coffee would be nice."

"Zafrina must like you a great deal," she stated as I handed her a cup with the steaming liquid.

"She knows that I hate doing boring reports but she talked me into doing yours."

"Isn't that what shrinks usually do?"

"If they need to work, yes, probably."

"And you don't need to do that because?"

She chuckled bitterly, taking another sip from the coffee.

"My ex-husband and I, we both loved beautiful things. Unfortunately they weren't the same ones. I had a weak spot for European designer clothes and he had a rather unhealthy affection for Italian models."

"I don't think, I understand."

"He broke my heart and I got most of his money in return. Every time I'm using my credit card it feels like I'm kicking him…maybe not where it hurts the most but still, I guess you get what I mean."

"So, Zafrina was your divorce lawyer?"

"Yes, she was. The best one I could get. Worth every single dime I paid her."

I tried not to think too much about how much Zafrina's work would cost me in the end. If she managed to make sure that Edward wouldn't get custody for Lilly, it would be worth it.

Didyme showed me a few pictures and wrote down my comments about them.

"Fine, Miss Swan, we're almost done now. Do you think that I could talk to your girlfriend for a moment?"

"Hmm, of course you can."

I walked over to the living room and waved my hand at my pixie-like lover, who was busy coloring a few sketches in front of her while my daughter continued stuffing food into the snout of our new pet. I was sure that the he would at least double his weight if she kept doing that.

"Ali? Can you come with me for a moment? The shrink says that she wants to talk to you too."

Slowly she followed me into the kitchen, never letting go of my hand in hers.

"Oh, hi there," Mrs. Volturi greeted her, looking up from the tablet.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Mary Alice Cullen. The source of this whole…divorce thing."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Cullen and I don't think that you're the source of the divorce. Look, I understand that the whole situation is difficult for you too. You're so young and all of a sudden you're the second mother of a five year old child. How do you feel about that?"

"How do I feel about what? Taking care of Lilly while Bella is working? I'm fine with that. She's my niece and I love her."

"Of course you love her. The question is; are you willing to care for her? Raising a child is not the same like babysitting it."

"I know…or I don't."

"Auntie Ali! Fido is trying to eat up your sketches!"

A low growl left Ali's throat as we quickly rushed back into the living room.

"Let go, you stupid mutt." She snarled at him and with a puppy-like whimper he let go of the sheet of paper in his mouth.

"Arrg, Bella. This is so disgusting. His slobber is all over it now. Yuck, so gross…"

"I'm sorry about that Ali. Maybe the dog is sick. He's always hungry, no matter how much we feed him."

"Dogs don't eat paper. He's trying to get some attention by doing stuff like that." Didyme stated cheerfully, petting the huge russet colored head with her fingertips.

Then her eyes caught the slobber covered sketch on the table.

"Wow this is…"

"Gross, I know. Now I'll have to do everything again, just because our stupid dog thinks he's not getting enough attention."

"I'm not talking about the slobber thing. God, this sleeveless dress on it that's fucking fantastic."

Ali raised one eyebrow.

"You like it?"

"I actually love it. But the color is wrong. Orange looks horrible with my hair color."

"The color is not a problem. I could make it any color you want it to be. A dark green would be nice or maybe azure blue."

"Really? That would be great. Do you think that $ 1.600 would be enough for two dresses?"

"You want to pay her eight hundred dollars for a dress?" I sounded like a complete idiot now.

Didyme cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"You sound surprised. We're talking fashion here. I'd pay double the price for having something pretty like that made for me."

"I'm sorry; I just can't believe that someone would spend so much money on clothes."

"Bella..." Ali mumbled, putting one arm on my shoulder.

"I think she knows pretty much what she wants. Don't you, Mrs…"

"Volturi, Didyme Volturi. And to answer your question, Miss Swan; yes, I want to pay her eight hundred dollars for the dress. It's my ex-husbands money and I'm determined to spend all of it."

"Sounds like a plan." I mumbled, staring down on the ground next to me.

"I actually think it's a great plan." Ali told her, pulling out a tape from a little box on the table.

"We could add some gloves as accessories if you'd like that."

She nodded her head, stuffing back her tablet into her handbag.

"What about the report?" I croaked out hoarsely.

"You don't need to worry too much about that, Miss Swan. Hmm, let's see, your….very talented girlfriend here does the gloves for my dresses for free and I make sure your psychological report will be close to perfect."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] Help a girl to reach her dream of a 1000+ review-story and press the review button down there. Yes, you too. ;-)

Until next time, take care.


	48. Chapter 48

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. Thanks so much to all of you who keep reading & reviewing. Your encouraging words mean so much to me.

This chapter is dedicated to **secrets87** and **ebonyedlove**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 48****

_Ali's POV_

I inhaled deeply through my nose, trying to absorb the overwhelming scent of disinfectants in the air. It smelled nice to me, familiar somehow.

Bella took my hand in hers and started rubbing small circles all over my wrist. Hesitantly she forced her mouth into a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She was nervous about this, way more nervous than I was myself. Maybe it was because she wasn't used to spending so much time in hospitals like me. Maybe it was because this was so much more important to me than to her. Whatever it was, it didn't really matter. What mattered was that she was trying to be supportive about it.

When Dr. Bennett walked into the room I thought about letting go of Bella's hand. But then I decided against it. What did it matter to me…to us what he would think about our relationship?

"Morning, Mary Alice." He greeted me politely, while he continued nibbling on the pencil in his mouth.

"Morning, Dr. Bennett. How are you doing?"

He chuckled slightly and sat down on the cream colored leather chair behind his desk. His hands grabbed the reading glasses on it.

"Fine, Mary Alice, just fine. Would you, do me the favor and thank your mother for sending so much delicious food to your father's office?"

"Sure, I will." If I see her again anytime soon, I'll do it. God, how much I missed my mom.

"How's your heart doing?"

"Still beating, I guess, but you're the expert."

He chuckled again and took his stethoscope in his hands.

"Is your _friend_ going to stay here during the examination?"

"If you don't mind…"

He shook his head and placed the cold metal of the stethoscope on my chest.

"Are you feeling dizzy or anything?"

"No, not in the last time," I mumbled towards the floor.

Then I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Dr. Bennett, can I ask you about something and you won't tell my father?"

"Of course you can. What do you want to know?"

"The pills that you have given me for my heart, could I still take them when I'm pregnant?"

"You think that you're pregnant?" his voice raised two octaves, almost sounding panicked now.

"No, not yet, I was just asking…in theory."

"Good, Mary Alice. Look, I know that no one ever reads the package insert, but still…"

"But still what?" Bella croaked out. It was the first time she spoke at all since we entered the room.

"Taking pills like these during a pregnancy could be fatal for the fetus. It would probably end up in a miscarriage or the baby would be born with spina bifida or something like that."

I felt Bella stiffen next to me and took a deep breathe through my nose.

"Well, I could always stop taking them, when I got pregnant."

"Mary Alice, if you want to talk about contraception possibilities you should probably make an appointment with Dr. O'Hara."

"I don't need to know about contraception." Ever, I thought.

"I wanted to know how my…condition would affect a pregnancy…in theory." God, I was starting to sound like a complete idiot.

He walked over to his desk again and flipped the file open. His eyes moved over several pages before he spoke up again.

"Mary Alice, I've treated you since you were a little girl and I'm glad that we've finally achieved such a good control over your condition."

"Me too, Dr. Bennett and since everything is pretty fine now…"

"Everything is not fine, Mary Alice, definitely not. And as for stopping to take your medication…"

"I've already done that. It wasn't that bad." Apart from the unpleasant dizziness of course, I thought secretly.

"For a few weeks, yes and don't tell me that you felt too good while you did that."

My cheeks blushed into an embarrassing crimson color.

"You could stop taking them for a few weeks but not for nine months. That wouldn't work. Your heart isn't able to pump enough blood into your system without the medication."

"Could it make me feel dizzy or something like that?"

"Not exactly, I'm more concerned that it could damage your kidneys so much that you would probably need dialysis for the rest of your life."

"Does that mean I can't have a child without ending up with a kidney condition on top of my crappy heart? This is so fucking unfair!"

"Mary Alice, lower your voice. I know that you don't like hearing the truth. No one ever does that. Some people are just not supposed to have children. You're not even married yet, Mary Alice. And when you do that you could always adopt or…"

"I don't want to adopt a child." I stumbled out while I stood up so quickly from my chair that it dropped to the floor with a loud noise.

Something cramped forcefully inside of me and I swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling.

"Excuse me. I think that I need some fresh air now."

I rushed out of the office, wiping away a single tear that was running down my left cheekbone.

My hand pressed the button of the elevator and as soon as the door opened I stumbled into it.

"Ali!"

"Go away." I whispered my voice barely audible now. My knees started trembling so much that I had to sit down in a corner of the elevator.

She kneeled down next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I won't. God, Ali, I'm so sorry about this. I know that this was really important to you."

"It's not that important. I mean, it would have been rather selfish anyway, wouldn't it? What if the baby would be born with my stupid heart condition? Just forget it, it doesn't matter anymore."

She pulled me closer and I sobbed against her shoulder while her fingertips stroked over the short curls of my dark hair.

"I'm so sorry, Ali. Please, if there is anything that I can do, please…"

The door of the elevator opened again and to my embarrassment I blinked into a familiar pair of grey eyes.

"Ali?"

Slowly I stood up from the ground again, while Bella grabbed my hand so tightly that it was almost painful.

"What's wrong with her?"

"That's none of your damn business, Jasmine. Just leave us alone. Don't you have any lunatics to talk to right now?"

"Ali, is my business, Bella."

"No, she's not."

"Oh, yes, she is."

Jasmine pulled a tissue out of her pocket and handed it to me.

"Don't, you dare to touch her!"

"You can't tell me what to do, straight girl."

"Keep your hands to yourself."

Jasmine chuckled slightly before she put a wisp of my hair behind my ear.

"What's wrong, beautiful?"

"Nothing," I croaked out hoarsely.

"It doesn't even matter. Just leave me alone; both of you. I don't have the nerves to deal with your stupid jealousy issues now."

I walked out into the parking lot and sat down on a wooden bench on its left side. A dry sob left my throat and then I put my face in my hands, feeling the tears burning in the corner of my eyes.

"Hey."

"Look, Ali, I'm sorry for fighting with Jasmine. Please don't be mad at me."

Jasmine sat down on the edge of the bank and cleared her throat nervously.

"She didn't hurt you, did she? Because you know how much I'd like to kick her ass so hard that she wouldn't be able to sit down for a week."

"No, I didn't hurt her. Look, you wouldn't understand it anyway, Jazz."

"You're not sick again, are you? I thought that the new medication is working?"

"Yes, it is working. Pretty fine, actually, everything is working just fine as long as I don't stop taking them every fucking day for the rest of my fucking life."

"You're using the f-word too much, Ali. Your mother would be disappointed."

"Esme is disappointed in me anyway." I snarled at her, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"That's not true. She just has problems to accept your homosexuality and then there's the fact that you're…well dating your sister-in-law now."

"I'm divorcing her brother. Can't you see that I'm serious about being with Ali?"

"Bisexual people are never serious about anything. You switched your team once…you could do it again."

"Oh, Jazz, please don't bring up this crap now. I'm really not in the mood to deal with it."

"Kay, I'll keep my mouth shut, if it makes you feel better, Ali."

"Thanks a lot."

"Can I ask you something? Why would you have to stop taking your medication? Your father didn't freeze your account again, did he?"

"No, he didn't. I talked to Dr. Bennett about…well about a possible pregnancy." I didn't dare to look into her face when I stumbled out the words.

"You want to have a baby with…her?" she sounded hurt now, kind of offended. I knew that she would react like that.

"Just forget it, Jazz. The doctor says that it's impossible. It doesn't even matter. It was a stupid idea and I should have known that it wouldn't work. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter."

"Ali, you don't sound and look as if it doesn't matter." Jasmine stated calmly.

"She's right, honey." Bella mumbled, wrapping her arm around my quivering body. I wondered if that was possibly the first time the two of them agreed on something.

**XXXX**

I didn't' really feel like going out but Bella thought that it would be a good idea to celebrate my new success as a designer. Something cramped around my heart whenever I looked at Bella and her little daughter. How much I wished…no, stop thinking like that, Ali.

"Auntie Ali, this is a stupid restaurant. They don't even have fries here." My copper-haired niece told me reproachfully.

"I'm sure we can do something about that, Lilly." Zafrina chuckled cheerfully and waved at the waiter.

"We would like to have some fries for the little one."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am but this is a fine restaurant and we don't serve greasy fries as if this was a takeaway."

She cleared her throat and her lips twitched into a smile when she spoke up again.

"But she's allergic to everything on your menu. Did you know that they would probably close this _fine _restaurant for an entire month, if she got an allergic shock here?"

"Hmm, yeah…probably, I'll try to make sure the kitchen crew will manage to make some fries."

"Thank you. That would be lovely."

When he walked away again, Jasmine leaned closer to Zafrina and whispered.

"It's shocking how easily you can lie to people, Miss Penthes. Is that a natural talent or something that comes hand in hand with your profession?"

"Probably a bit of both," She confessed, taking another sip from the glass of wine in front of her.

"Didyme was so thrilled about your designs, Ali."

"Who is Didyme?"

"The shrink that did the psychological report about Bella's mental status…" I explained, nibbling on a breadstick in my hands.

"What kind of shrink has enough money to pay you several hundred dollars for clothes? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that she did it. And it was very nice of you to invite all of us into this…fries-less restaurant."

"Didyme is the ex-wife of the CEO of Volturi Inc. She doesn't work much since the divorce but she owed me a favor and that's why she agreed to do the report."

"You could have asked me to do that stupid report, you know?"

"Yeah, I could have. But Bella didn't really like the idea."

Jasmine inhaled sharply between her teeth and dropped her fork on her plate.

"What is she doubting my skills?"

"She is here right now and can hear you perfectly." Bella snarled at her crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"And just for the record; Miss Whitlock…I'm not doubting your skills as a therapist."

"Hmm,"

"I think that she's more concerned about the way you keep flirting with her girlfriend as if she was the last piece of steak."

"Steak? I'm not treating her as if she were some piece of meat!"

Zafrina chuckled slightly and took another sip from her wine.

"That was just an example. Don't you usually work with examples?" Her voice had a smooth, silky tone when she continued.

"How does this oyster here symbolize hidden desires or something like that?"

She slurped it down her throat while her eyes stayed focused on Jasmines face. Jazz didn't blush but her pupils dilated for a moment and she licked her lips thoughtlessly.

When Zafrina realized that Jasmine kept watching her, a smile flashed over her face. Was she trying to flirt with her? Hmm, yeah, definitely flirting…flirting was good. It would distract Jasmine from her love thing. Should I try to pair them off? Good idea, but how should I do that? Right, getting her drunk would definitely work…Jasmine always got tipsy and flirty when she had too much to drink.

My lips twitched into an evil smile as I waved at the waiter.

"Is everything alright with the fries, Ma'am?"

"They are okay." Lilly stated with a full mouth.

"But I had better ones before."

He cringed but forced his face to stay a calm mask.

"Fries are not really the specialty of our house."

"I'd like to order a bottle of champagne then. You do have champagne here, don't you?"

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] Help me to reach the big 1000 and press the review button down there.

Until next time, take care.


	49. Chapter 49

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Another update of your favorite soap opera/ Twilight fanfic, hope you'll enjoy.

This chapter is dedicated to **DeeJee** and **baxterbuff**. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.

****Chapter 49****

It's so not fair, I thought while I poured myself a cup of coffee and added some milk to it. Slowly I walked over to the kitchen desk and sat down on one of the wooden chairs.

Why was it so easy for me to get pregnant and not for her? Ali had told me that I should just forget about the idea of her getting a child but in the middle of the night, her sobbing had managed to wake me up. I had stroked her back in small circles until it finally subsided, desperately trying to think of a way to comfort her.

God, how much I wished that I could borrow her, my own heart, so that her body could make it through the pregnancy without difficulties.

My left hand grabbed the small heart shaped amber around my neck. I loved her so much and it hurt me that there wasn't anything that I could do to help her. Should I ask her how she felt about adopting a baby? No, she had already made it clear that she didn't want that…

"Morning, Bella." She greeted me, trying to make her voice sound cheerful and light.

I pulled her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her. Slowly I leaned forward and planted a kiss on her soft lips. My tongue slipped into the warmth of her mouth to nudge it gently against the tip of her tongue. I felt a pleasant shiver running down my spine as her hand moved under my shirt to stroke the skin on my stomach.

"I love you." I whispered against her lips when I finally managed to pull back.

"How are you feeling, honey?" I asked her as she took a sip from my coffee cup.

"Hmm," she mumbled, adding a spoon of sugar into the light brown liquid.

"Okay, I guess or maybe a little bit tired. I didn't sleep well."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently. Then I put it to my mouth to blow a feather light over the back of her hand.

"You're not okay, Ali. Don't you think that I can feel it when something is wrong with you?"

"I don't want to talk about the baby thing again. It doesn't matter."

"Oh yes it does." I stated, while I started to draw invisible lines over her bare forearms.

"It's not fair." She croaked out after a few awkward moments of silence.

"I know, Ali. You would be such a wonderful mother. You're patient and generous and you get along so well with Lilly."

"I love Lilly. She's like you. It's like I can see you through her eyes; you as a little girl."

I shook my head.

"I guess that I was practically double her weight when I was her age. My mom told me that I looked like a little baby whale."

"Your mother doesn't seem like a very nice person."

"She's pretty self-absorbed but I guess the way she always picked on me because of my weight had a big influence of the way I see myself."

The phone started ringing and Ali stood up to answer it.

"Hello."

"Jazz?"

"Are you crying?"

"Clean your nose. I can't understand you when you keep sniffing into the receiver like that."

"Yeah, that's better."

"Hmm,"

"She told you what?" A low chuckle left her throat.

"You didn't honestly ask her that did you?"

"No, of course not, Jazz and even if she had, I surely wouldn't tell you about that. It's so none of your business."

"You know what. Go back to sleep. It would help your headache. And when you wake up again, I suggest taking some aspirin."

"Bye, Jazz."

I forced myself to remain calm but I felt the unpleasant feeling of jealousy spreading through my body again.

Slowly I walked over to the countertop and started stirring the ingredients for pancakes in a small glass bowl.

"Hey." Ali mumbled, hugging me tightly from behind.

"You're not jealous again because she called me, are you?"

"No…"

"Bella, I don't love Jazz that way. You really don't have to worry about that. She's just my best friend and once she'll get over this crush thing that has about me…"

"If she does get over it, that is. She needs to move on, seriously."

Ali pulled my hair over my shoulder and planted a gentle kiss on the sensitive skin of my neck.

"My beautiful, jealous, fiancée,"

"I'm sorry for being so jealous, Ali; it's just that I can't understand the relationship between the two of you."

She walked over to the fridge and pulled some strawberries out of it.

"When I discovered that I was gay that was so difficult for me because my family is…well you know how they are like. And Jazz was always there for me back then. It's because of her that I'm so confident about my orientation now."

"Can I ask you something? Did you ever kiss a boy?"

She raised one eyebrow.

"What for?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Just forget it, I shouldn't have asked that."

"Did you ever kiss a girl, apart from me?"

"Once when I was still in school,"

"Was she pretty?"

"Jeez, she had braces and glasses thick like loupes. It was completely awkward and my boyfriend and his stupid friends were cheering in the background. Not really a romantic experience."

"Too bad, that you didn't like the poor girl. Maybe she got some contacts now. Maybe she's hot now."

"You're right. I should probably give her a call to make sure what I'm missing before I marry you, Ali."

I turned around and cupped her beautiful face between my hands.

"I love you, Ali and I'm never going to want to be with someone else."

She stood up on her toes and wrapped her arms around my neck. When I kissed her mouth again, I tasted the fruity sweetness of the strawberries on it."

God, how much better they would taste from her skin…

"Do you want to know why Jasmine called me?"

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay."

She started cutting the rest of the strawberries into small pieces.

"She had a little bit much of champagne last night."

"You don't have to tell me about that. Jeez, I can't believe she and Zafrina started singing Yellow Rose of Texas in the middle of the restaurant…"

"I guess singing wasn't the only thing that they did together last night."

"No way, you're kidding me, aren't you?"

She shook her head and giggled.

"I knew it would work, if I got her drunk. Jazz is always so…"

"You did that on purpose?"

"Kind of…"

"You're one evil little pixie and I love you even more for being one."

**XXXX**

I poured some massage oil on my palms and started massaging it into her tensed shoulders.

"Can I ask you something, Ali?" I whispered into her ear.

"As long as you keep doing what you're doing right now, you can."

I leaned down and planted a kiss on her earlobe before I sucked it between my teeth to nibble on it for a moment.

My fingertips circled over the exposed skin of her back until a noise that sounded almost like a purr left her mouth.

"Ali, I've thought some more about the baby thing…" I stated hesitantly.

She turned around and pulled her shirt down her stomach.

"Why?"

"Because it's important to you, Ali," And you are important to me, I added in my head.

"I feel betrayed somehow." She mumbled.

"It's so unfair…"

"Yes, I know."

"No, you don't, Bella. You don't know how it feels like."

I sighed deeply and pulled her closer.

"I'm here for you, you know? If there is anything that I can do for you, you can tell me."

"Can you just hold me?"

"Kay."

I pulled her closer and started stroking her damp hair with my fingertips.

"If you want to have a baby I could have another for you. I mean, Lilly turned out quite okay, didn't she?"

"You'd do that for me?"

"For us…if it makes you happy, Ali, I'd do it."

"Bella…"

"We don't have to decide about this right now. I mean there's still the divorce and I'd really like to marry you before we should think about a baby."

"Do you want to have a big wedding?"

"Do you?"

"Not really. As long as we don't have to get married in a pink plastic chapel in Vegas, I'll be fine with it."

I kissed her mouth and licked the velvety skin of her lower lip with the tip of my tongue.

Something clinked down in the kitchen and I wondered if the dog was probably trying to eat up the rest of the roast beef I made for dinner. Then I remembered that I had put it in the fridge before we went upstairs. The dog couldn't open the fridge, could he?

Jeez, Bella, you're starting to get a little bit up the pole.

I still had to make sure; he didn't feed himself to death. Lilly would be too upset if something happened to him. Maybe I had to learn to be stricter? Yes, that would be working.

"Fido! Get your furry ass up here this moment, or I'm going to let you sleep in the garage for an entire week!"

"Fido!"

The dog barked downstairs but a few seconds later he rushed into the bed room.

"Bad dog…" I told him and grabbed him by the metal collar around his neck. Then I stood up from the bed and twisted my hair into a lose ponytail.

"Where are you going?" Ali asked me, sitting up.

"'m going downstairs, cleaning up the mess that our dog made in the kitchen. Jeez, that's just what I needed, another _person_…that I can clean after…

"Come here you, slobber monster." She told him and petted his head for a moment.

"Down!" she instructed.

The dog didn't react, but his dark eyes flew to the opened door. He wouldn't dare to try the same thing twice in the same night?

"Are you deaf or something like that?"

"Down!"

"Good, that's fine. See, you can be a good dog. I want you to stay right where you are until I come back." He whined slightly but kept his head down.

Slowly I walked down the stairs, almost stumbling over something on the last step. I realized that there was light in the kitchen. Had I forgotten to switch it off?

Before I could think more about it, a cold hand grabbed me around my neck from behind so tightly that I had to choke.

"Hello, Mrs. Cullen. How are you feeling?" he whispered into my ear, his breathe sending a wave of fear down my spine. I opened my mouth to gasp for air, or to scream, whatever I would manage to do.

He put his other hand over my mouth.

"One wrong noise and I make sure; it'll be your last one on earth."

When he pulled me closer against him I noticed that he smelled of stale beer and some other alcohol. Did he bathe in that stuff?

"When I'm through with you, Mrs. Cullen, the stupid little bastard won't want to take another look at you. Maybe I'm going to carve my name into your fat ass. Or maybe I'm going to pour bleach into those pretty little chocolate eyes? You know that I always liked them a great deal…"

There was a noise in the background, but it was too difficult to concentrate on anything while I tried to keep breathing through my nose. He wasn't really going to do those things, was he?

A moment later I landed flat on my face, with Edward on top of me his weight knocking the breath out of me. My lungs started burning painfully from the lack of oxygen but to my relief a heartbeat later the weight above me was gone.

A deep growl left the snout of the russet colored dog and I decided spontaneously that I would never speak to him in an unfriendly voice again.

"What is the stupid mutt doing here?" he snarled at me, taking two steps backwards.

"What the hell are you doing here, Edward?" I croaked out hoarsely, my voice still trembling with fear.

"Bella! He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Ali kneeled down next to me and wrapped her arms around me. Was she trembling or was that my body?

"What the fuck are you doing here, Edward?"

"This is still my house and Bella is still my wife and I can do with my stupid cunt of a wife however it pleases me!"

"Watch your mouth!"

"Daddy?"

"Lilly, go to your room!"

"No, I don't want to. Why are you yelling at each other?"

"Sweetie, please go to your room."

"No, she can stay here, if she wants to. Maybe it'll teach her a lesson if she watches me breaking your jaw..."

"Edward, you're drunk and you don't know what you're saying."

"Keep your mouth shut, bastard."

"Don't you dare to lay your hand on her!"

"Who's going to hold me back? Have you forgotten what happened the last time, you stuck your little nose into things that aren't your business at all?"

"Daddy, why are you so angry at Auntie Ali?"

"Because she's a parasitic slut and I should have put a pillow on her face when she was still a baby. Guess, that would have saved me lots of trouble!"

"Stop yelling, it's scaring me."

"Ouch! Ouch…let me go you stupid mutt!" he stumbled out when the dog buried his sharp teeth into his left thigh.

"Call him off!"

"Fido let go."

"See, he won't listen to me. The dog is pretty stubborn."

"Isabella, you can't just watch him use me as his new chew toy. Call him off! Damn it! Ouch…"

Drops of crimson colored blood landed on the kitchen floor and the rusty smell of it made me feel dizzy. I wouldn't faint now, would I?

Ali grabbed the phone with her left hand while her right one stayed around my shoulder.

"Officer Biers, please."

"Yeah, I know how late it is. Could you just get him on the phone for me?"

"Hmm,"

"Because I want him to come over and arrest my asshole of a brother,"

**XOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] I hope this chapter turned out okay. It was difficult for me to write. I'm better at writing fluff than drama but every story needs some drama now and then. Leave me some love and press the review button down there.


	50. Chapter 50

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Blows kisses to all her awesome readers out there! I'm so thrilled that I managed to get over 1000th reviews with my story. Your encouragement and support means so much to me. It's because of you that I keep writing, without you my thoughts would probably stay in a little corner of my mind...

This chapter is dedicated to **rpattzluver4ever**. Thanks for leaving so many awesome reviews. I'm happy that you like the story so much.

****Chapter 50****

"Bella, are you sure that you don't want to see a doctor? This is going to leave some ugly bruises." Zafrina asked me worriedly.

I shook my head and nipped on the cup of black coffee in front of me. My throat hurt when I gulped but I still managed to swallow at least a tiny bit of it.

Ali sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"You're okay?" she whispered into my ear and I nodded my head, thoughtlessly running my fingers over my throat.

"I'd still prefer it to have a doctor take a look at you." Zafrina stated before she turned to the police officer again.

"Can you try to explain to me, how this drunken asshole managed to get through the security system?"

"Ma'am, as far as we know right now, he must have known the code."

My heartbeat quickened instantly and I forced myself to keep breathing in and out very deeply to avoid a panic attack. He had the code. How the hell, could he have the freaking code of the alarm equipment?

"You don't have to worry about that right now, Ma'am. He's arrested and I don't think that he'll get out too soon. He broke the restraining order. That wasn't a smart move from his side."

"My parents will probably pay any bail money for him to get him out."

"No, they won't. Bail money is not an option. Your…brother is malicious and I don't want to risk him coming near any of you again."

I tasted something salty in my mouth and realized that I was crying.

"Are you in pain?" Ali asked me worriedly, pulling out a tissue to wipe away the tears from my cheeks.

"No…yes…I don't really know. I'm just so scared right now."

"I'm scared too. Thank god, the dog was there to protect you…us."

Slowly I stood up from the couch and walked over to the other corner of the room where Lilly had cuddled her tiny body against the huge russet colored dog.

"Sweetie, don't you want to go to sleep now? You must be tired."

She didn't look up; her eyes kept starring down on the ground.

"Lilly, honey, are you okay?" I asked her, putting a wisp of her copper hair behind her ear.

"The poor child is completely confused because of what happened here tonight." Zafrina stated crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Ma'am, the doctor and the shrink are here."

"You called a doctor? What for?"

"Bella, you might have a shock and the little one too. Please, just do me the favor and let him take a look at you."

I sighed deeply while the doctor checked my pulse and pulled out an injection.

"I don't want any pain killers. It's not that bad."

"It's not a pain killer, just something that will help you to calm down a little bit."

A few moments later a wave of numb insensibility spread through my body.

"Ali?"

Jasmine rushed into the living room and wrapped her arms around my quivering fiancée. Somehow I didn't feel the usual jealousy. I wasn't even sure what I was feeling right now.

"Are you alright? Your asshole of a brother didn't hurt you, did he?"

"Miss Whitlock, I assume you that Miss Cullen is pretty fine, concerning the circumstances."

Zafrina's voice was smooth like honey, when she spoke to Jasmine.

"I'd rather hear that from her, Miss Penthes."

"She's right, Jazz." Ali mumbled.

"But he hurt Bella. And he said some horrible things in front of Lilly."

"What kind of things?"

"See, that's why you're here. The police officer is not allowed to speak to the child unless there's shrink present." Zafrina explained while she continued writing down notes on a sheet of paper.

Jasmine cleared her throat and kneeled down next to Lilly on the ground.

"Hello, Lilly."

She didn't seem to react at all and if her tiny hand wouldn't have continued stroking over the fluffy fur of the dog, I would have assumed that she would have fallen asleep right now.

"So, you don't feel like talking now, I can understand that."

A dry sob left Lilly's throat and then she burst out into tears.

"The police took my Daddy away."

"That's right, Lilly. Do you know why they did that?"

"Because he was so angry at my Mommy,"

She pulled out a tissue and handed it to Lilly.

"Blow,"

"I hate it that he's always yelling so much."

"I know, Lilly. He shouldn't have done that."

"Fido bit him. Will Fido go to jail too?"

She suppressed a giggle.

"No, Lilly, you don't' have to worry about that."

"Good. I don't want him to go to jail. They wouldn't give him enough food there."

"Probably…"

"Look, Lilly. Can you tell me what your father said before the police came here?"

"I don't want to."

"I understand that you don't want to talk about what happened. It was pretty scary for you, wasn't it?"

She nodded her head and buried her face into the russet fur of the dog. Then she mumbled something that was too low to understand it.

"He said that he wanted to put a pillow on Auntie Ali's face when she was a baby…and that he wants to break Mommy's jaw."

Her tiny body started quivering slightly when she croaked out the last words.

"I think that's enough, Miss Whitlock." Zafrina stated, standing up from the couch.

"Don't tell me how to do my job, Miss Penthes."

"Zafrina, is Jasmine angry at you?"

"No, she isn't. Maybe her head is still hurting a little bit from last night. Some people do things they regret afterwards when they drink too much…"

**XXXX**

I didn't sleep well that night, although I even swallowed the sleeping pill the doctor gave me. So when the first orange-colored rays of sunlight shined through the curtains of our bedroom, I gave up and stood up again.

Carefully I pulled the blanket over Ali and my copper-haired daughter who had refused to go back to her own room after the cops finally left the house.

Poor little thing, I thought, already fighting the tears again. Your father turned into a complete lunatic.

There was no way that I would agree to have joint custody with Edward after the tantrum he had thrown last night.

Slowly, I walked into the bathroom. When I saw the red and purple bruises around my neck, I cringed slightly.

He wouldn't really have killed me, would he? Try not to think about it, Bella.

I splashed some cold water on my face and twisted my hair into a messy knot at the back of my head. Then I wrapped a light blue silk scarf around my neck to hide the ugly bruises. Lilly would be scared if I let her see them…

The dog started whimpering in front of the bathroom door.

"Hey there…" I whispered hoarsely, noticing that my throat still hurt like crap, when I tried to speak.

He followed me down into the kitchen and munched down the food I gave him within seconds. Jeez, when he continued eating like that, I would have to get a second job to afford keeping him.

At least he's able to protect us, I thought. Unlike this crappy alarm equipment, Edward made Emmett install when we moved into the house.

How the hell had my ex figured out the new code? Well, it didn't matter. I would change it again. Maybe I should change it every single day just to make sure. Jeez, I was started to develop persecution mania.

I used the spray the doctor had given me for my sore throat and it left an unpleasant numb feeling on my tongue. At least I would lose a little bit of weight now…

Ali walked into the kitchen, carrying my sleepy daughter on her right hip. I should probably tell her to stop carrying Lilly around that much, although it really looked cute to me.

"Morning, Bella." She greeted me, while my daughter immediately started feeding the dog with a piece of toast.

"Honey, I just fed him…like five seconds ago."

"Mommy, why are you wearing a scarf? Are you cold?"

"Hmm, yes, sweetie, kind of…"

The doorbell rang and Ali went to open it.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" she called out, her voice raising two octaves, making it almost sound hysterical.

When she and Esme walked back into the kitchen I realized that Esme looked horrible, like she hadn't slept at all in weeks.

"Grandma!"

Lilly wrapped her arms around her and twisted her hands into Esme's copper curls that equaled her own so much.

"Are you here to visit me?"

"Kind of, Lilly, but mostly I'm here to talk to your mother and your aunt."

She pulled a pink box with a silver colored bow out of her handbag.

"That's for your Barbie house, sweetie." She told her as she handed it to Lilly.

"Thank you, Grandma."

"I'm happy that you like it, Lilly."

"Can I go and play with Fido now?" She asked me and I nodded my head, trying to avoid too speak much.

"She really seems to like the dog a great deal." Esme mumbled, while she started biting her fingernails nervously.

"Mom, I hate to repeat myself, but why are you here?"

"Mary Alice, don't be like that. I was so worried when I found out that your brother has been arrested again."

"Yes, he was and I hope that they won't let him out anytime soon."

"Mary Alice, you can't say things like that. He's still your brother. You can't honestly want him to stay in jail. Don't you know what they do to guys like him in there?"

"Don't _you_ know what your asshole of a son did to Bella last night?"

She pulled the scarf down my shoulders.

"Just look at her? He almost strangled her. Your perfect little smartass of a son is not as perfect as you and Dad think he his!"

"Look, I'm really sorry about that. If you want, I'll call your father and let him take a look at her. It really looks bad, but I'm sure that Edward didn't mean…"

"Why are you still defending him? After all the crap he came up with! You're still defending him."

"And just for the record, Esme, he meant it. Do you want to know about the horrible things he threatened me with last night; in front of our little daughter, on top of it!"

"I assure you that he didn't know what he was doing. He was just so desperate because your lawyer sent him some papers saying that you want full custody for Lilly. How can you do that to him? She's his only child."

"She's my only child too and you can't expect me to let my daughter stay with a father, who's about to lose it completely." My voice was barely audible at the end.

"You think that it's my fault, don't you? Because Bella and I are together now…"

"I didn't say that, Mary Alice."

"But it's what you think, isn't it."

"Yes, no…well, I'm not sure."

"Well, maybe you should better go now. I love you and Dad, but both of you need to start accepting the relationship between me and Bella."

"How can I accept something that makes your brother so miserable? He has some serious problems…"

"Edward's only problem is that he's a narcissistic filthy pig who had no scruples to…"

"Your brother is sick." She whispered towards the floor.

"What do you mean, he's sick? Don't tell me that the dog bite got infected or something like that. It can't be that worse."

"No, not the dog bite…they gave him some antibiotics for that."

"Look, this lawyer that you hired, she insists that Edward gets a psychological report about his mental status."

"Let me guess, he doesn't want to talk to Jasmine, does he?"

"Not really. It doesn't matter to which shrink he would talk. The fact is that he doesn't want to do that."

"And why is that? Is he too fine to do that?"

"Don't be like that, Mary Alice. Your brother is just scared that the shrink might find out that he's sick."

"You mean sick, like…like sick in the head? Are you searching for some kind of excuse for his behavior?"

"No, I'm not. Look, do you remember how we sent Edward to boarding school when he was fourteen?"

"Let me guess, he felt neglected because of that and never got over it."

Esme cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"We didn't send him to boarding school. That was just the official version we told everyone, even Rose…"

"I don't think I understand? Where the hell did you send him? He was gone…for months."

"To a place that was supposed to help him deal with his…problems…"

"What kind of problems?"

"He thinks that he hears voices in his head."

**XOXOXOXO**

[A/N] You didn't honestly think that Edward was right in the head, did you?

I hope you liked the update. Reviews are love.

Until next time, take care.


	51. Chapter 51

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. It's your encouragement and kind words that keep me writing this story. So thanks a lot for it.

Check out the lovely new banner for my story, link is in my profile.

#Lemon alert in this one, as usual don't like/don't read#

This chapter is dedicated to **the-poetry-of-ink** and **secrets87**. Hope you'll enjoy

#FAQ#

*A few words on the baby question. Yes, I know, it sucks that Ali can't have one of her own. I feel bad for her and when I wrote that part it literally made me cry; things like that happen life isn't always fair.

The girls will figure out something, you can be sure about that and Ali will be a mom…in one way or the other.

****Chapter 51****

_Ali's POV_

I pulled her beautiful chestnut over her shoulder and planted a soft kiss on the exposed skin of her neck. The tip of my tongue swirled over the shell of her ear and I felt her shiver under my caress.

"Try to relax." I whispered into her ear while my fingers started unbuttoning her blouse. My thumb circled over the soft skin of her cleavage. God, how much I loved the way she felt, better like silk, better than anything I had touched before.

Slowly she turned around and pulled my shirt over my head. Then she wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me closer.

My lips found hers and when she sucked my upper lip between her teeth to nibble on it a low whimper left my throat. I massaged her tongue with mine, tasting the sweetness of her mouth.

"Do you know what I always wanted to ask you?" she mumbled against my lips when she pulled back and started stroking my lace covered breasts in small circles.

"When you used that strap-on on me, how was that for you?" Her voice was thick with lust now.

I cupped her breasts in my hands and rolled her hardened nipples between my thumb and my forefinger.

"Hot," I whispered, letting my hands move down her upper body until I reached the zipper of her jeans.

"For me too, Ali, I loved it. And I think about it all the time…"

"Do you want to do it again?" I asked her while my hand slipped into her jeans, gently stroking her over the damp fabric of her underwear.

I shoved them down her legs and pulled her over to the bed. Her hands twisted into my short hair as I kissed my way down her stomach until I reached the warm slickness between her legs. My tongue swirled over the throbbing pearl of her clit before I licked her all the way down to her entrance and up again. Carefully I started pumping two fingers into her warmth, feeling her stretching around them.

"More," she croaked out hoarsely and I added a third finger. When I curled them upwards more of her sweet essence poured over my tongue and I licked up every drop of it. Her inner walls tightened around my fingers inside her over and over again as the waves over her climax washed over her, making her entire body tremble.

I stood up from the bed and pulled my skirt down my thighs. Then I pulled the purple bag out of the closet and sat down on the edge of the bed again. I put a wisp of her hair behind her ear and planted a soft kiss on her trembling lips.

"Ali…" she started hesitantly and I noticed that her cheeks had a beautiful crimson blush now.

"Will you let me use the strap-on on you?"

I nodded my head and pulled the black belt with the purple colored dildo out of the small bag. When I had helped her to adjust it around her hips I leaned forward to suck the tip of the dildo between my lips.

"What are you doing?" she asked me and when I raised my head to look into her eyes, I felt the wetness pouring down my thighs.

"I just wanted to know how it would feel like to do that." I told her cupping the length of the dildo in my palm.

"It looked kind of hot to watch you do it," she whispered as she pulled me on her lap. She cupped my breasts in her hands and rolled her thumbs over the sensitive nubs.

Slowly I lowered myself on the dildo, letting it slip into me, deeper and deeper. I gasped at the unfamiliar feeling of being stretched like this. My legs started trembling slightly and I felt a small trail of sweat running down between my breasts.

She put her hands on my hips and pulled me closer.

"Are you okay?" she whispered and I nodded my head, knowing that I wouldn't be able to bring out any reasonable words now.

"Try to move. It's going to feel better if you start moving."

I started rocking my hips back and forth and bit my lower lip to suppress a moan. Yeah, she was right it felt better, so much better…

Then she sat up and I whimpered as the dildo slipped even deeper into me. She kissed me hungrily, nudging her tongue against mine in the same rhythm the dildo slipped in and out of me.

Her fingertips found the throbbing pearl of my clit and my inner walls clenched and unclenched around the toy inside me while nameless colors flashed in front of my inner eye.

"How much I love you..." She whispered while she stroked down my spine, helping me to calm down again from the intensity of my climax.

**XXXX**

"It doesn't matter." she stated calmly while she continued running her forefinger over the edge of her glass, letting it clang under her fingertip.

"Stop that, Jazz. It's annoying."

A low chuckle left her throat before she spoke up again.

"Tensed today, aren't we?"

I sighed deeply and stoop up from the kitchen chair that I had been sitting on.

"Kind of…"

"Your brother won't come back here any time soon. He's in jail and he'll stay there."

"That's not why I'm so…well, concerned right now."

She raised one eyebrow.

"Is that why you wanted me to come here today?"

That and the fact that I still want to know the dirty details about the little encounter between you and Zafrina.

"My mother thinks that my brother has some…well, some…mental…issues."

"Just for the record: being an arrogant asshole isn't a mental issue, Ali."

I nodded my head and took a sip from the lukewarm coke in front of me.

"I know, Jazz. She told me that he thinks that he hears voices."

"He does what? Is that some kind of lame excuse your mother made up so that Edward won't have to spend too much time in jail?"

"I don't think that she would do something like that." Or would she? Wouldn't she do anything to protect her beloved son?

"What exactly did she tell you? Is he in therapy or something like that?"

"He was. They send him to a…well… I don't think asylum is the right word for it. They told everyone that he was in boarding school. You know how my parents are like."

"Yes, I do. They're pretty conservative. It is way too important for them what other people think about them."

"Tell me something that's new for me."

"Their lifestyle is starting to rub off on you."

"I'm not constantly telling lies to keep up the pretty façade of a perfect family."

"That's not what I meant."

"Jazz, if you start making rude comments about my relationship with Bella again, you can leave this house this moment." I warned her, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"Ali, I'm always going to tell you what I think, no matter if you want to hear it or not."

"Jasmine…"

"It's cute when you're getting pissed. Just do me the favor and try to calm down a little on the whole family thing. You, and she and the little copper-head are not…"

"We're not what? Not a family? Cause that is exactly how it feels like for me…"

"You want to protect what you love…or whom you love and that's what you're parents have been doing for you and your siblings too."

"There is nothing wrong with protecting the people you love."

"Of course not, Ali, but you need to know that everything has a limit…even love and the things that we should do for it."

"You start sounding like a therapist now."

"Sorry, but that's what I am."

"And as a therapist what do you say to the fact that my brother hears voices in his head that aren't really there."

"For him they are there. If they're there, that's the point. Do you know who is supposed to do the report about his mental status?"

"No one is doing a report. Esme says that he refuses to talk to someone professional about it."

"Can't you make him? I mean there must be a way to force him. If he's really schizophrenic or something like that he needs help…like serious help, or you're risking that what happened the last time he showed up here will look like nothing to you."

A shiver of fear went down my spine as I remembered the expression on his face. The things he said that night…

"Jazz, we can't make him. How should we do that?"

"Why don't you ask that question your lawyer? I bet there is something that she can come up with."

"You're right. I call her later and see what Zafrina can do."

"Good idea."

I started cutting an apple into small pieces and tried to make my voice sound casual when I continued.

"Zafrina is beautiful, isn't she?"

"In a way…"

"And smart too,"

"In a way…"

"Are you going to give me another answer apart from 'in a way', Jazz?"

"If you ask the right question, Ali…"

Then she raised one eyebrow and a smile flashed over her face.

"You're jealous that I slept with her, aren't you?" her voice sounded amused.

Jealous, no, not at all; curious about what happened between you and her? Hell, yes!

"I am not jealous. I'm just concerned as you _friend_," I emphasized the word overdramatically.

"Because you seemed to be so upset when you called me the morning after,"

"I shouldn't have done it, Ali. One night stands are…well, they're not for me, especially not with women that are…that can't make up their mind whether they like cock or pussy." She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"You are full of prejudices. So what if she's bi, it doesn't matter."

"Maybe not to you, but to me,"

"How was it?"

"You're not honestly asking me how the sex with her was like?"

No of course not, like I would ever do such a thing…

Then I realized the dreamily expression on her face as she licked off the rest of coffee from the little spoon in her hand.

"You liked it, didn't you?"

"I was drunk and she too. It didn't mean anything."

"I didn't ask you if it meant anything. I wanted to know if you liked it."

"So what if I did like it? It doesn't change the fact that it's not going to happen again."

**XXXX**

"I don't understand how your moron of a brother managed to get the new code for the alarm equipment." Emmett told us skeptically.

"Are you sure that you didn't accidentally change it back to the old one?"

"Yes…no, I don't know…," Bella croaked out nervously.

"Maybe it just doesn't work properly?" I asked him.

"Of course the thing is working. I let, Kate, check it twice when she installed it."

"It doesn't matter. Edward is in jail now, so it doesn't really matter whether the stupid thing is working or not."

"He's not the only dangerous person out there, Bella."

"Yeah, I know."

"Good, just try to be careful, will you?" he mumbled so low that his voice was barely audible.

Then his eyes caught the tiny figure of our niece who was cuddling against the russet colored dog.

"You're okay, sweetie?"

She shook her head.

"The police took my daddy away."

He sighed deeply and sat down next to her.

"I know, Lilly. You don't need to worry about that. Everything will be okay."

"Will he come back here?" she sounded scared and I recognized that her hands were trembling slightly.

"No he won't. You don't have to worry about that."

A dry sob left her throat and a heartbeat later she burst out into tears.

I pulled her on my lap and started rocking her back and forth while my fingertips stroked her back in small circles to comfort her.

"Honey, you don't have to be afraid. No one is going to hurt you."

"But he said that he wants to break my mommy's jaw."

"I know, sweetie. He shouldn't have done that." He shouldn't have done a lot of things, I added in my head.

"Why was he so angry? He's always yelling at me when he shows up. I don't like it when someone yells at me."

"Sweetie, I don't know why your father is always so angry." I told her, pulling out a tissue to clean her running nose.

"Blow, sweetie,"

"Is my daddy crazy?" she asked me hesitantly and right now I didn't know what I should answer her…


	52. Chapter 52

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to your favorite Twilight soap opera, I mean fan fiction.

This chapter is dedicated to **Kyraaah1992**. Thanks so much for your lovely review. It really put a smile on my face.

****Chapter 52****

"What a looker," Benjamin mumbled under his breath while he continued cutting a cucumber into small slices.

"Are you sure that he doesn't swing both ways?"

I raised one eyebrow.

"What makes you think such a thing?" I asked him curiously.

"Oh come on, Bella. He plays with Barbie Dolls. Which straight man plays with Barbie's?"

Ali chuckled slightly and twisted a wisp of my long hair around her dainty fingers.

"Just for the record: Emmett doesn't play with Barbie's; he's playing with his five year old niece."

"Yeah, whatever, it's not normal."

"Did you ever play with Barbie's when you were a little boy?" Ali asked him, her caramel eyes sparkling sheepishly.

"I talked my mom into buying me one when I was six. My dad wasn't that happy about it. He made her send it to one of my cousins in Romania. I cried and she was pissed at my dad for an entire week."

"He's not that happy, about you being gay is he?" I assumed hesitantly.

"It's starting to get better, now that he knows that it has nothing to do with the way he and mom raised me. Ela, my stepmom, forced him to read some books about homosexuality. It helped a lot."

"Your stepmother seems to be nice."

"She is. I don't know what she sees in my dad. Must be a father complex or something like that."

"Could be,"

"Or couldn't. Some people just don't get along that well with people their own age."

"No matter how old he his, your brother-in-law is still hot, Ali. Did you see that ass when he leaned down to search for something on the floor? Holy shit." He chuckled and licked his lower lip.

"I'm giving you a hint, because I kind of like you. Don't mention anything like that when my sister shows up here. Rosalie might not like it."

"I might not like what?" She mumbled as she walked into the kitchen, finishing the last bites of the sandwich in her hands.

"That there won't be any mustard in the food tonight."

"No, biggie, Tinker-Ali; I brought my own mustard." She stated cheerfully and pulled a jar out of her handbag.

Then she cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"Oh, hi there, I'm Rosalie, Ali's sister."

Benjamin waved his hand at her.

"Nice to meet you,"

A smile flashed over his face.

"Now, I know where your husband's preference for Barbie dolls comes from."

"Em has preference for what?"

"Just ignore his stupid comments. Benjamin always talks before he thinks…" I stated, wrapping my arms around Ali from behind.

"No, Bella. I just say what I think, unlike other people."

"Hmm,"

"You don't look much like Ali." Rosalie told him after a few awkward moments of silence.

"His eye color is the same as mine, but he always wears contacts."

"Must make the best of the fact that I'm practically half-blind,"

"But I'm planning on getting a laser-op on them. My stepmom did that two years ago and the result was incredible. She had such horrible complexes because of the thick glasses she always had to wear and now…voila she's almost attractive…for a girl."

"You're really a charmer, aren't you?"

The russet colored dog rushed into the kitchen, nudging his huge head against Rosalie's stomach.

"Yeah, I missed you too, you slobber monster."

She petted his fur with her fingertips and a purring noise escaped his snout.

"I'm glad that you were here to protect Lilly and the others." She murmured, planting a kiss on his head.

Me too, I thought, feeling a shiver of fear running down my spine. Instinctively I pulled Ali closer to me.

"Auntie Rosie!" Lilly called out, wrapping her arms around her blonde aunt's neck.

"Hi, sweetie, how's it going?"

My copper-haired daughter frowned and kneeled down on the ground, cuddling her tiny body against the fluffy fur of the dog.

"The police took my daddy away because he was so angry."

"I know, Lilly. I'm really sorry about that."

"Is my daddy in jail now?"

"I think so,"

And I hope, he stays there, hopefully for a very long time, I added silently in my head.

"Can we send him food there?"

"What for?"

"They don't give people enough food in jail and they hit them. I saw that on TV."

"Who let you watch something like that?"

Her blue eyes narrowed for a moment.

"Emmett!"

"Yes, babe?"

"What did I tell you about appropriate TV for little kids? Now she's confused…"

"Rosie, I don't think that TV is responsible for her being confused. It's this whole…well, complicated situation that sucks."

"He's right, Rose. And it's my fault that Edward showed up here. If I hadn't been so stupid to change the code of the alarm equipment back to the old one…"

"You didn't do that on purpose, Bella." Emmett stated, crossing his arms in front of his broad chest.

"But I'm sending Kate over later to check on it, just to be sure. She'll explain the damn thing to you again."

**XXXX**

Zafrina sipped on the cup of coffee in front of her, her eyes still focused on the sheet of paper in her hands.

"This is starting to get ridiculous, Bella. Your dipshit of a husband refuses to talk to anyone about his so-called 'voice-hearing'."

"Can't you force him to do that? Jasmine mentioned something like that when she talked to Ali."

Zafrina raised one eyebrow and for a split second a smile flashed over her face that didn't reach her dark eyes.

"It's nice to see that Miss Whitlock is developing such a confidence in my skills."

"Is she right? Can't we force Edward to do that?"

She shook her head and took another sip from her coffee.

"We can't. But when we go to court, it won't make a good impression that he refused to do one, when you were so willing to do yours."

"I hope so." I mumbled, while I started biting my fingernails nervously.

"You're still scared of him, aren't you?" she asked me worriedly.

"Not really scared of Edward himself, more of the things that he could do."

"You don't need to worry. He's in jail and since he doesn't seem on preferring to move into a padded cell. He'll stay there."

"But for how long?"

"Not long enough. Maybe you and Ali should rethink your plans on staying here in Seattle. It would make things a lot easier for you, if you didn't."

"Are you suggesting that we should run away from him?" my voice raised two octaves.

"No, I'm not, but you have to be aware that when we go to court, your husband will do everything to make your relationship with his younger sister look like one of the deadly sins. Everyone will know that the two of you are together. That you left your husband for a woman and the question is whether you're ready to deal with that; if the two of you are ready to deal with that."

I swallowed hard, trying to think of a good way to respond. Were we ready? Was I ready? It didn't matter; I had no other choice than to be ready.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I probably shouldn't have said that to you. But I don't want you to be in court the first time you think about these things."

Then she took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"Don't be afraid of the whole court thing."

"I'm still nervous."

"You're not still worried that Cullen will get custody for Lilly, are you? No judge would give custody to him after the incident at your house. Plus, if he's in jail, he can't take care of a little child."

"Lilly is so upset because of what her father did. And I can't explain to her what happened."

"I see. Have you considered letting her talk to Miss Whitlock about it? As much as I dislike this whole psycho crap, I think it could actually help her to talk to someone who's not directly involved."

"Hmm,"

I thought about making a comment about that I'd prefer it, to not involve Jasmine into the problems of my family.

"You don't like Jasmine, do you?"

I nodded my head, feeling my cheeks reddening in embarrassment.

"She's in love with my fiancée." I told her, although I knew that she was already aware of this fact.

"No, she's not. She's just in love with the idea of being in love with her. But the Ali that you love and the one she thinks that she's in love with, they're two completely different persons."

"I don't think, I understand."

"You love her for who she is now, but Jasmine is still attracted to the girl she used to be."

"Maybe they're the same?"

"Definitely not, Bella. A woman is never the same she was yesterday. It's you that make Ali the one she's now and it's her that makes you who you are now."

"Can I ask you something personal, Zafrina?"

"If you want to,"

"Well, Ali told me that you and Jasmine…well, that you…"

She smirked and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"That we had sex, you can say it Bella. It doesn't hurt."

"And that was all? I mean, it didn't mean anything to you?"

"I came, she came. It's not that we have to get married because of this."

She seemed to hesitate for a moment before she continued.

"And Jasmine seemed to dislike the fact that I'm bi more like anything. She wouldn't be interested in something more."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't have to be. She's quite attractive but it's not like she's the only available woman out there." Her voice remained calm and casual the entire time, but now and then her lips twitched for a moment.

The phone on her desk started ringing and she cleared her throat before she picked it up.

"Penthes,"

"Oh, that's good to hear."

She wrote down a few notes and mumbled something that was too low for me to hear.

"Really?"

"Who?"

"No, of course, I don't mind…"

"When?"

"That soon?"

"No, it's fine. You don't have to worry. I'm glad you called me. Thanks a lot."

She hung up and walked over to the window on the other side of her office. For a moment she remained standing there, staring out of the widow as if she was trying to sort her thoughts.

"Bella?"

"Yes,"

Slowly she turned around and sat down on the edge of her mahogany desk.

"I have good and bad news for you. Which one do you want to hear first?"

I sighed deeply and started biting my lower lip nervously.

"The bad one," whispered eventually.

"The judge who was supposed to do your case had an accident. He broke his leg while he tried to golf."

"And that a bad news because?"

"Because he's way more liberal…than the one we have now."

I nodded my head, not really knowing what she meant with liberal.

"And what's the good news?"

"We're going to court now much sooner than planned."

"How soon, is sooner?" I asked her, taking several deep breaths through my nose to calm myself down.

"Tomorrow,"


	53. Chapter 53

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hi everyone. Two updates in one day are probably not a very smart idea. But I never claimed to be smart. I'm just a girl who is irrevocably obsessed with the characters in this story.

This one is dedicated to **Villemo79**. I'm happy that you liked the conversation between Bella and Zafrina in the last chapter.

****Chapter 53****

My heartbeat quickened instantly and I wiped my sweaty hands on the sleeves of my shirt.

You can do that, Bella. I told myself, the last of a dozen attempts, to calm myself down. It didn't work. Of course it didn't work. I knew it wouldn't.

"Bella?"

I shrugged when I felt Zafrina's warm hand on my shoulder. Her lips twitched into a smile, making her dark eyes sparkle in the horrible artificial light in the office.

"Don't be afraid. Everything is going to be fine." she whispered and I nodded my head, knowing that my voice would probably crack like an old record in a gramophone if I spoke right now.

"Miss Penthes, we're ready to start now." A young secretary with a horrible perm informed her.

"Yes, of course. Just let me speak to my client alone for a moment."

I stood up from the plastic chair and my knees started to tremble slightly.

"Breathe," Zafrina whispered.

Then she cleared her throat before she pulled something in a white envelope out of her handbag.

"Keep this in your hand. If you think, that everything is too much for you, you may open it."

"Kay."

I followed her into the other room and at first I saw nothing apart from the ice-cold look in the eyes of my hopefully soon-to-be ex-husband.

When I sat down next to Zafrina, I feared that every single person in the room would be able to hear the ragged beating in my chest.

"Good morning, Miss Swan. How are you doing?" Edward's lawyer greeted me politely. I remembered him from one of the few business dinners that I had attended to please my husband.

"Good morning, Mr. Masen." I croaked out, cursing myself for the stupid trembling in my voice.

"Your client looks a little bit pale, Miss Penthes." he stated and I fought the urge to hit him straight in the face for this stupid comment.

"She's fine, Mr. Masen. Pale is the new tan, didn't you know that?"

He smirked, taking a last look at the folder in his hands before he continued.

"Maybe she's just nervous, because she knows that it's stupid what she's doing here."

"Maybe she's just nervous because unlike me and you and…your…client, she doesn't spend too much time in court. And just for the record; it's your client that should be nervous, not her."

The judge entered the room and I hoped that I wouldn't faint accidentally. That would be just too embarrassing, wouldn't it?

"Morning everybody," he greeted us and I noticed that his voice had an unpleasant purring sound that made my head ache.

"Miss Penthes, is your client agreeable with the allowance of the adverse party?"

"No, she's not. They are completely ridiculous and she would prove that she had not more than one single brain cell, if she would be so stupid to agree to this none sense."

"Miss Penthes, a simple 'yes' ore 'no' would have been enough."

He turned to Edward's lawyer now.

"Mr. Masen?"

"No, your honor, my client won't accept the impertinent things that his wife is claiming."

"Fine, so let's start this now. The sooner we start, the sooner it will be over."

"Miss Swan, are you sure that you want to divorce your husband?"

I nodded my head and Zafrina pinched my arm to remember me that I needed to answer him verbally.

"Yes, I'm sure." My voice was too low.

"Miss Swan?"

"Yes, I'm sure about the divorce." I repeated a little louder.

"Mr. Cullen?"

He raised his head and spoke up, the first time at all since we entered the room. His voice didn't sound insecure at all. It was warm and smooth like honey.

"I don't want to divorce my wife although that would be the natural consequence after what she did to me."

What I did to him? What about the things he had done to me?

"Mr. Cullen, your wife doesn't want to stay married to you. It's not going to make things easier for the two of you, if you refuse to sign the divorce papers."

"I just wanted to make a point that we're not here because of me, but because of her."

The judge sipped on a glass of water on his desk.

"We'll see."

He opened the file and flipped through the pages with a bored expression on his face.

"Custody claim concerning the child named Elizabeth Charlotte Cullen."

"Miss Swan, your lawyer informed me that both, you and your husband are claiming full custody for your daughter. Is that correct?"

"Yes, sir,"

"Mr. Cullen?"

His emerald eyes met mine for a split second and a shiver of fear went down my spine.

"I wouldn't want my only child to live in unsettled means. My…wife is living with my sister now."

"What do you mean she's living with your sister now?"

"They're having an affair. While I was away working hard to provide the life style my wife so furiously enjoyed, she cheated on me behind my back. In my own house on top of it,"

"Mr. Cullen, I hate to remind you, but you cheated on your wife too."

"Do you have any proof for that?"

"We have the testimony of your wife and your sister."

He chuckled slightly; his lips turning into that damned crooked smile that had once made my heart melt from the inside out.

"That's not worth the sheet of paper it's written on."

"We also have you credit card bill. Can you explain to us why you always needed a double room during your business trips to Anchorage?" Zafrina stated calmly.

"That doesn't prove anything. I just like to have some space…"

"Would you mind if we asked your former secretary Miss Denali about your preference for space?"

"No, I wouldn't. But as she's not here right now, we can't do that."

"Hmm, can you tell me, why you fired her?"

"I don't think it's important for this case, but to answer your question. She was a lousy secretary."

"And it took you three years to discover that?"

"Miss Penthes, I don't like the way, you keep talking to my client. It doesn't matter why he fired his secretary."

"I think it does, Mr. Masen, because he fired her right after his wife discovered that he was having an affair with her."

"An affair that you don't have any proof for, Miss Penthes,"

"I would let Miss Denali show up here today but she didn't react to any of the letters my office sent to her address."

"Mr. Cullen, do you have any proof that your wife is having an affair with your sister?"

He nodded his head.

"She was so stupid to tell everyone about it. You can ask her yourself, if you want to."

The judge gulped down the rest of the water in his glass.

"Miss Swan?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it an affair. We're in love." We're actually so much more than in love, so much more that no one would ever understand.

"And you're planning on raising the child together with her aunt? Do you think that's appropriate?"

"Your honor, I think that it is way more appropriate than letting her stay with a mentally instable father who doesn't seem to have any control about his actions."

"Miss Penthes, I've already told you that I dislike the way you're speaking about my client."

"Mr. Masen, I'm sorry, that the truth seems to offend him. But you can't deny the fact that he broke the restraining order..."

"A restraining order that was completely unnecessary, Miss Penthes,"

"Unnecessary? Have you seen the pictures of the bruises he left on his daughters arm?"

She turned to the judge.

"Page four in the folder, your honor."

He flipped the page open and rubbed his chin thoughtlessly.

"Mr. Cullen, can you explain those injuries?"

Edward cleared his throat nervously.

"I didn't mean to hurt Lilly, but she was so stubborn and didn't want to come with me when I wanted to pick her up to save her from her perverted mother."

"Mr. Masen, I don't like the way your client talks about mine. It's completely unprofessional."

"Yes, Miss Penthes. He won't do that again, but it shows just how much the whole situation upsets him."

"Mr. Masen, trust me it upsets my client way more than it upsets yours."

"Miss Penthes! Mr. Masen! Your little private interactions are starting to annoy me. Could you try to cool down on that a little bit?"

"Yes, your honor. Would you please take a look on page six and seven? We have the testimony of three adult people that he tried to pull his daughter into his car, although she told him that she didn't want to go with him. She's scared of her father now."

"She's not scared of me," Edward croaked out, biting his fingernails nervously.

"And if she is, than it's completely the fault of her mother because she told her lies about me."

"Mr. Cullen, that's not an excuse for hurting a five year old child like this."

"It also doesn't explain the events in my client's house. He threatened to kill her. Do you have an explanation for this behavior?"

Edward's lawyer pulled a tissue out of his pocket and wiped a few drops of sweat from his forehead.

"My client doesn't remember anything about it."

The judge raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"What do you mean, he doesn't remember anything? What kind of lame excuse is that?"

"Your honor, it's not an excuse. He swallowed some tranquilizers against his fear of flying and then he had a few drinks with one of his clients…"

"It still sounds like an excuse to me. And not a very good one, if you ask me."

"Miss Penthes, I'm not asking you." The judge snarled at her before he continued.

"But I've read the police report. Mr. Cullen, do you think it's appropriate for someone in your profession to let yourself go like that?"

"No, your honor, of course not,"

"Your honor, we're not here today to discuss the incidents of this night. We're here for the divorce and custody claim."

"Mr. Masen is actually right, your honor, but I think the happenings of that night are proofing the fact that Mr. Cullen is in no way capable of taking care of a little child."

"And what, Miss Penthes, makes you think that his wife is better suited for that than he is? She left her devoted husband…,"

I had to swallow back a little bit of vomit in my mouth when he said the word _devoted_. What a fucking hypocrite.

"For an unnatural relationship with her husband's sister,"

"Mr. Masen, are you trying to tell us that my client is a bad mother because she's with another woman now?"

"I don't think that it would be good for the child to be raised like that. A child needs a mother and a father, not two mothers."

My hands started quivering slightly and I forced myself to take several deep breaths through my nose to calm myself down.

"Your honor, I think the fact that Mr. Masen's client seems to have severe issues with his temper is way more than dangerous for his daughter's well-being."

"Unlike Miss Penthes client, mine agreed to do some family therapy to save his marriage. She's a selfish, self-absorbed person who thinks more of her own perverted lust than about the happiness of her child."

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to fight back the tears that were already glistening in the corner of my eyes. Perverted? Selfish? Had it been selfish of me to want to be with Ali? Was it selfish to want to be loved and cherished? Would it have been more acceptable if I had found that in the arms of a man?

Zafrina said something to the judge that was too complicated for me to understand it. He responded something to her in an unfriendly voice before he turned to Edwards' lawyer again. I wondered if it would make a difference if I wouldn't be here at all. I didn't want to be here, damn it.

With trembling fingertips I ripped the small envelope in my hands open and a small picture fell out of it. I caught it before it hit the ground.

It was the one of Ali, Lilly and me that I had made during our trip to Disneyland and a warm tingly feeling spread through my body as I remembered taking it.

Then I read the words that were written on the bottom of the picture.

_Happy families are all alike…_

I nodded my head and shoved the picture back into the envelope. Then I raised my head again and waited. Waited to be damned, to be forgiven, waited to be judged for the things I had decided to do in my life.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] I'm terribly nervous about this chapter; it was so difficult for me to write it. I hope it doesn't suck too much. Leave me some love and review. I could really need some encouraging words right now.


	54. Chapter 54

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello everyone. Thanks and hugs to my lovely readers out there. Your kind words of support mean so much to me.

I'm incredibly nervous about this chapter. I've waited so long to write it and it was so difficult for me.

This one is dedicated to **secrets87**. Your review made me cry (in a good kind of way).

****Chapter 54****

The entire court thing was exhausting for me, partly because I didn't really understand everything that was happening and mainly because I couldn't do anything to suppress the unpleasant feelings in my chest. Was it angst or fear or panic? Or maybe it was a combination of all three of them.

My fingernails cut into the palms of my hand when I fisted them under the table. Keep breathing, I tried to remind myself. Breathing didn't manage to calm me down, but at least it kept me from fainting.

"Dr. Cullen," the judge started after another awkward moment of silence that only made me more aware of the ticking of the clock on the other side of the wall.

"I'm glad that you managed to have some time to talk to us today since your schedule is pretty crowded."

"Thanks, your honor, I'm just here to help my son to get custody for his only child, a child that he loves more than anything."

Zafrina cleared her throat and sipped on her glass of water in front of her before she spoke up.

"We're not claiming that Mr. Cullen doesn't love his daughter. But the issue of custody has nothing to do with love, for I assure that my client loves her child too. And she is the one that cared for said child for the last five years."

"Dr. Cullen, would you please be so kind and tell us, why you think that your grandchild shouldn't be living with your daughter-in-law anymore? Do you have any proof that she's a bad mother?"

"No, your honor, I don't."

"But you still want your son to get full custody for his daughter. Can you explain to us, why you feel that way? Don't you think that a child belongs to the mother?"

"In most cases, I would have to agree with you. But in this…rather special situation…"

"I assume by special situation you're referring to the fact that your daughter-in-law and your daughter are in a romantic relationship now?" Zafrina asked him, her voice sounding cold like ice.

"Yes, that's right. I just think that it's wrong to let the child stay with an emotionally instable mother…,"

"Your honor, the witness is making assumptions that he has no proof for at all. We on the hand have a psychological report about my client's mental status."

There was the hint of a smile in her voice when she continued.

"Page twenty-four to twenty-seven in the folder, your honor."

"Hmm,"

He opened the named pages and flipped through them. His eyes, hidden behind metal-framed glasses, read through the words over and over again

For a split second I panicked, what if Didyme had written something in the report that wouldn't sound alright to the judge, what if…

"Hmm, sounds like there is indeed no such thing as an emotional instability concerning your client, Miss Penthes."

Zafrina smiled at him, but her smile didn't reach her eyes.

"It's such a pity that we can't say such a thing about the adverse party…,"

"Your honor, it's unacceptable how Miss Penthes speculates about my client's mental status. She has no proof…,"

"Mr. Masen is actually right your honor. I am speculating."

"And why are you doing that?"

"Because Mr. Cullen refused to talk to anyone professional about his mental status, but referring to the way he behaved the last time he and his wife …met, well, of course it's only an assumption."

"Assumption won't lead us to anything here, Miss Penthes."

I cringed slightly; the judge was starting to piss me off. What an arrogant asshole.

"Mr. Masen, why did your client refuse to talk to a psychologist?"

"It's not necessary. But if you want to know anything about my client's mental status - which is fine - just for the record, feel free to ask the witness."

The judge wrote something down on a piece of paper and handed it to his secretary. She stood up from her chair and rushed out of the room.

"Dr. Cullen, do you think that your son is mentally…how shall I say it…healthy?"

"Yes, your honor, of course he's mentally healthy."

A noise that almost sounded like a chuckle left Zafrina's throat before she spoke up.

"Dr. Cullen, do you know what perjury is, don't you?"

"Miss Penthes are you assuming that the witness is lying?"

"Yes, your honor. I don't think that the witness is unbiased. He's trying to make his son look good."

"Hmm,"

"Dr. Cullen, can you tell me why you think that your daughter-in-law shouldn't get custody for your granddaughter? Do you think that she would cause her harm or anything like that?" Zafrina asked Carlisle who kept staring at his son and back to the ground over and over again.

"No, I don't think that she would harm her."

"And what about your son, are you sure that he wouldn't harm the child?"

"Yes…" his voice trembled when he croaked out the word.

"Your honor would you allow me to show the witness the pictures on page four in the folder?"

"You may, Miss Penthes."

Slowly she walked over to the desk Carlisle was sitting behind and held the opened folder under his nose.

He inhaled sharply between his teeth and mumbled something that was too low for me to understand it.

"Are you a hundred percent sure that something like that, won't happen again, Dr. Cullen?"

Carlisle's mouth opened and closed but no words came out, his hands started trembling slightly.

"Because if it does, do you want to be the one who's responsible for it,"

"Miss Penthes, stop talking to the witness like that, we're not here because of the mental status of my client. We're here to discuss the custody claim."

"Mr. Masen, I assure you that I'm only bringing up the mental status of your client to prove that he's in no way capable of taking care of a little child."

"My client, unlike yours, is not alone." Alone, alone…damn it, I wasn't alone. I had Ali, didn't that count for anything?

"His family is going to help him raise the child and if that's not enough he could hire a nanny."

The judge took a sip from the water in front of him and sighed deeply. His secretary, the young woman with the perm entered the room again. She leaned over to him and whispered something into his ear. He nodded his head and gulped down the rest of water in his glass.

"Mr. Masen, Miss Penthes. I've decided to talk to the child myself. After all this is about her,"

"Your honor, I don't think…"

"Mr. Masen, you don't need to worry. We'll have a psychologist in here, just to make sure that the child won't get too agitated."

Then he turned to his secretary again.

"Bring the child in now. The sooner we get this over the better for all of us."

The secretary refilled the glass on his desk before she slipped out of the room.

An unpleasant feeling spread through my veins when the door opened again and a familiar honey-blond head appeared in its frame. And of all the fucking shrinks they could have chosen to come here today, it had to be her? Damn it, this day was so not mine.

"Good morning, Miss Whitlock. How are you today?"

"Fine, your honor, just fine. How's your wife?"

The judge cleared his throat and his lips twitched for a moment.

"She's fine, thank you, Miss Whitlock."

"Your honor, are you going to talk to the child here?" Edward's lawyer asked him, his voice sounding worried now.

"We'll try if it works."

The secretary entered the room followed by Lilly who was nervously biting her fingernails.

"Mommy!" she called out when she saw me and I wrapped my arms around her neck. I buried my face into the soft curls of her copper hair and I fought the urge to cry. I didn't want her to be here and the fact that she was, was clearly my fault. Well, mine and her fathers, who shifted back and forth on his chair nervously.

"Miss Swan, let go of your daughter now."

I dropped my hands and put a small wisp of her hair behind her ear.

"It's okay, sweetie," I whispered.

"The man just wants to talk to you a little bit. Are you okay with that?"

She nodded her head.

"Come here, Lilly." Jasmine instructed.

"You can sit here with me."

Slowly she walked over, her brown eyes getting huger as she scanned everything in the room. When she saw her father, she shrugged back.

"Everything is okay, Lilly. You don't need to worry." Zafrina told her and when her eyes met Jasmine's for a split second a smile flashed over her face.

"So…" the judge started and from the tone he used it was obvious that he wasn't used to talking to little children.

"Elizabeth, do you know why you are here today?"

"Because my mommy and my daddy are angry at each other,"

"Hmm, yes, that's right, kind of. Do you know why they're so angry at each other?"

"I don't know. But my daddy keeps yelling all the time and it's scaring me."

"Your honor, my client has a little problem with his temper. That doesn't make him a bad father."

"Mr. Masen, I would prefer it, if you wouldn't interrupt me while I'm talking to the child. Is that clear?"

"Yes, your honor."

"Elizabeth, do you know what a lie is?"

"When you tell something that is not true."

"That's right. And you also know that it's not right to tell lies, don't you?"

She nodded her head again and started biting her fingernails again. Jeez, I really had to do something about that habit.

"But here in court, it's way more important to tell the truth than outside. Do you think that you understand that?"

"Yes,"

"Fine, that's good. Elizabeth, can you tell me with whom you're living right now?"

"With my mommy and Auntie Ali and Fido,"

"And Fido is who? Your little brother?"

"No, he's our dog. He used to be Auntie Rosie's dog first but now he's ours."

"Hmm, I see. Do you like living with your mother and your aunt?"

"Yes, I do. And I don't want to move to Alaska."

"Alaska? What makes you think that you have to move to Alaska?"

"My grandma said that I'm going to live with my daddy in Alaska. I don't want to go there. Alaska sucks!"

"Have you been there before?"

"We went to Alaska to visit my daddy, but he didn't like it when we surprised him."

"What do you mean, he didn't like it?"

"He yelled at us and the evil witch hurt him and…,"

"Your honor, the child is obviously mixing up reality and fantasy…"

"Mr. Masen, I think that I told you to keep your mouth shut while I'm talking to the child?"

"Ahm, yes, your honor," Edward's lawyer croaked out, pulling out a tissue to wipe his sweaty forehead again.

"Elizabeth, don't you know that there are no witches?"

"But the evil witch is real. She hurt my daddy and she said that she has a key to our house."

"Your honor?"

"Yes, Miss Whitlock?"

"She's not fantasizing about the witch thing. It's just her way of expressing that she's scared of said person."

"Hmm,"

"Elizabeth, why are you scared of the… well, of that woman that you call a witch?"

"Because she ripped my hair out and she hurt my daddy, when we came to his office."

He raised one eyebrow and nibbled on the pen in his mouth.

"Mr. Cullen, can you explain to me, why she thinks that someone hurt you?"

"No, your honor, I can't…" Edward croaked out hoarsely.

"Miss Swan?"

My face turned warm and knew it had just turned into a bright crimson color.

"Miss Swan?" he repeated impatiently.

"Your honor, I don't think it's necessary to stress my client with this."

Then she cleared her throat, before she continued in a sugar sweet voice.

"Page seventeen in the folder."

"Mr. Masen, you didn't mention the fact that the child witnessed the incident with Mr. Cullen's secretary."

"We didn't think it was necessary, your honor. A five year old child is not a proper witness."

"Leave it to me to decide what a proper witness is or not, Mr. Masen."

**XXXXX**

I tasted something salty on my lips and when I wiped my face I realized that I was crying. It was embarrassing but I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

Zafrina handed me a tissue and kneeled down next to me.

"You're doing great, Bella. Don't be afraid. Everything will be fine."

Fine? How could things be fine, ever after what happened?

"But he's been in his office with Lilly for almost an hour. What the hell is he talking to her so long?"

She put one arm on my shoulder.

"Try to stay calm, Bella. That's normal and he's not talking to her alone. You know that Jasmine is with her."

"And you know that she fucking hates me, Zafrina."

"She doesn't hate you, Bella. She just doesn't like you because…well, you know why. But she is…and if you ever going to mention it in her presence I'm going to deny it, the best shrink I've ever met. She hears more than what people say. It's like she can tell what other people feel…"

"Miss Penthes?"

"Yes?"

"Judge Caius wants to speak to you and Mr. Masen for a moment."

"Hmm, yes of course."

She stood up from her chair and when she and Edward's lawyer walked out of the room, my ex walked over to me.

A shiver of fear went down my spine.

"Isabella, don't you think that this ends here today. You are my wife and you'll stay it. I'm not going to sign the damn papers, so that you and the little bastard…,"

"Edward, stop talking to Bella like that."

"Mind your own business, dad. She's the one who messed this up, not me!"

"Lower your voice, son. You're forgetting who you are."

"Dad, you can't expect me to…,"

The judge entered the room again, the expression on his face cold and hard. Mr. Masen and Zafrina followed him and when she sat down next to me she squeezed my hand under the table.

I shoved my trembling hands into the pockets of my skirt and took a deep breathe through my opened mouth. At least I had managed to stop crying now. Or maybe I just had no more tears left right now.

I wondered how I must look like right now. My makeup was probably smeared all over my face. Not that it mattered.

"Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan. I've made a decision about the custody. It wasn't an easy one. There are so many things to consider, because we're not only concerned about the physical but also the emotional well-being of your daughter. The rather unnatural way of life, that Miss Swan has chosen to live now…"

My hand turned into a fist in my pocket. What would they do with me, if I punched the judge straight into his face?

"…is in my opinion less fatal than the fact that Mr. Cullen indeed seems to have temper issues."

"However, I think that it's important for a child to have contact to both parents. So I decided to grand, Mr. Cullen visiting rights for every second weekend under the presence of a psychologist."

Edward's beautiful face paled slightly. I knew that he hated shrinks almost as much as I did. Or maybe even more?

"Apart from that the restraining order remains intact. Mr. Cullen, you do know what happens if you break that order again?"

He nodded his head.

"Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes, your honor, of course, I know. It won't happen. I promise."

My face turned into a grimace. What worth did a promise given by my dishonest husband have? None at all…

"Custody claim concerning the child named Elizabeth Charlotte Cullen," he read out.

"Regarding to the circumstances in this case, I've decided to give full custody for the beforehand addressed child to Miss Isabella Marie Swan."


	55. Chapter 55

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello my lovely readers out there. Another update of my little Twilight soap opera aka fan fiction.

This one is dedicate to **SOFisticated1** and **Jexy**. Hope you'll enjoy.

*Warning; the end of this chapter is a little bit corny (or a little bit more) don't read if it offends you.*

****Chapter 55****

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

I raised my head and gasped for air, desperately trying to fight back new tears. It didn't work. The tension that had left my body just minutes ago, when Edward finally scrawled his name under the divorce papers, had turned into something that I had no name for. My hands trembled so much that the picture that I still had been holding in my left hand fell down on the ground.

It was over. I was free. I was really free now.

"Mommy?"

I wrapped my arms around my daughter and sobbed against her tiny shoulder.

"Let her go, you're going to break her back and how would that look like to the judge?" Zafrina stated, putting a warm hand on my shoulder.

I dropped my arms and sniffed while I searched for a tissue in my handbag.

"I'm sorry. It's just…I'm just so…so…,"

"The word is relieved, Bella." Jasmine stated, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Leave her alone, Jazz." Ali snarled at her before she kneeled down in front of me.

Gently she cupped my face between her dainty hands and wiped away a bit of the salty wetness on my cheeks.

"Are you okay, honey?" she asked me worriedly and I nodded my head, unable to bring out reasonable words.

Ali pulled me closer and started rocking me back and forth until the trembling in my body finally subsided.

"Zafrina, is my mommy sick?"

"No, sweetie, she's not sick. But maybe she could need a little bit of alone time with your aunt right now. You can come with me; I'll show you my bike."

"You should go with them." Ali stated when she realized that Jasmine was still standing next to us.

"Are you sure that you don't need help with her? She looks as if she's about to break down any minute."

"Maybe she just needs some fresh air? I guess everything was just too much for her."

She planted a kiss on my forehead and sighed deeply. Slowly I stood up from the chair again, hoping that I wouldn't accidentally collapse on the ground now. That would be too embarrassing.

Ali's hand never left mine until we were outside the building. Then she pulled me towards a wooden bench at its left side.

I sat down on it and put my head between my knees to fight the dizziness.

"Come here," she mumbled so low that I could barely hear her speak at all.

I rested my head in her lap while she started stroking my face with feather light touches.

"I love you so much."

"I love you more," I mumbled against her lips when she leaned down to kiss me.

"Doubt that's possible…,"

Her mouth was warm against mine and it tasted sweet when I nudged the tip of my tongue between her parted lips.

"Did everything go okay?" she asked me, when she finally pulled back from the kiss.

"The judge was an arrogant ass. He didn't seem to like the fact that we're together. He said that…"

"Shhh," she put one finger on my lips to silence me.

"It doesn't matter what he thinks about our relationship. You and I, we know that we belong together that's all that counts."

"You're right, Ali, but it still hurt me to have someone talk about me...about us like that."

"I know, Bella."

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again I blinked into the warm, caramel of hers. God, how much I loved her eyes.

"Somehow I can't believe it's over now."

"It doesn't feel to me as if it's over. Edward was…angry at me. You should have seen his face when he had to sign the damn divorce papers."

"I'm so sorry about that. He didn't threaten you again, did he?"

I shook my head.

"Zafrina told me that I don't need to be afraid. The judge made it pretty clear that he gets in serious trouble if he dares to break the restraining order again."

"But you're still afraid of him, no matter what Zafrina or the judge told you."

I nodded my head and wondered when the feeling of being finally free from my husband would manage to overlap my fears.

**XXXX**

"Ali, you know that I don't really like surprises. Why won't you tell me where we're going?"

She took my hand in mine to squeeze it gently. Then she started rubbing small circles all over my wrist, making the blood underneath the thin layer of skin pulsate against her dainty fingertips.

"The key point in surprising someone is not to tell the person where you're going."

"But I want to know. I promise to still act surprised when we're there."

A crystal chuckle left her throat.

"No chance, honey. But you're lucky. We're there now."

The wheels squeaked on the asphalt when she parked the car in front of a ….hotel?

"What are we going to do in a hotel?"

If she just wanted to do _that _with me –not that I would mind – we could have just stayed at home after Rosalie picked Lilly up to babysit her.

"We're not going to spend the whole night in the hotel room," she told me as we stepped out of the car.

She hugged me tightly from behind and pulled my hair over my shoulder to plant a kiss on the exposed skin of my neck.

"Come with me."

The first thing I recognized when we stepped inside the lobby was the huge amount of women, or at least I thought that all of them were women. It wasn't really that easy to tell for some of them.

"It's a ball." She explained while she pulled me towards the hall.

"We're going to a ball? You mean like dancing?" my voice raised two octaves. The last ball I had been forced to attend was prom and it hadn't been a very pleasant experience. Mike had drunk too much of the spiked punch and I had spent half of the night with him in the ER…

"Hello? Earth to Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Stop worrying. This is going to be fun."

"Honey, you know that I suck at dancing. I don't want to embarrass you."

She cupped my face between her hands and kissed my mouth so lightly that her lips were barely touching mine.

I wrapped my arms around her delicate waist and pulled her closer while the tip of her tongue slipped into my mouth. Tenderly she nudged it against my tongue, sending a pleasantly tingly feeling down my spine.

Maybe spending the entire night in the hotel room wasn't such a bad idea after all?

"Don't try to seduce me," she whispered into my ear as I started stroking over her bare shoulder with my fingertips.

"Me…seducing you? As if such a thing was possible. You're the temptress who makes my heart always beat too fast."

"Sorry about that," she mumbled, running her thumb down my jaw. Somehow this small gesture managed to set my skin on fire.

"Don't have to be. I kind of like the way you make me feel."

"Kind of…"

"Kind of…"

I lowered my head and kissed her gorgeous mouth again. Her lipstick was probably smeared all over my lips now but that didn't bother me. I sucked her velvety upper lip between my teeth to nibble on it.

"Ali! Bella! You made it."

Slowly I turned around to greet Maria who had her glove covered hand on the shoulder of a woman whose hair was so short cropped that you could see the scalp under the dark stubbles. The blue tie she was wearing matched exactly the color of her eyes.

"Oh Bella, you look so pretty tonight. Doesn't she, Charlotte?"

She nodded her head.

"The dress is lovely. Do you want to dance?"

"With you?" God, Bella, stop sounding like a complete idiot. At least I had put enough makeup on to cover my blush.

She chuckled slightly.

"Of course with me," she stated, clicking her tongue.

"Or doesn't your girlfriend here allow you to dance with other women."

I wrapped my arm around Ali's waist and pulled her closer.

"She's my fiancée, not my girlfriend and she doesn't allow or forbid me to do anything."

"So, do you want to dance now? Trust me, I'm such an awesome dancer, it'll be like flying."

"Charlotte, can't you see that you're embarrassing her? Leave her alone. You're impossible with your lame attempts to flirt with every woman in this room."

A low chuckle left her throat and then she turned to Maria again.

"It's so cute when you get jealous. It kind of turns me on, when you get so bitchy, Maria."

"We give the two of you some privacy now." Ali mumbled and pulled me over to the bar where she ordered white wine for us.

"I'm sorry about that, Bella." she whispered, before she planted a soft kiss on the sensitive skin right beneath my earlobe.

I sipped at the wine, enjoying the warmth that spread through my body as her fingertips brushed over my neck down to my cleavage.

"You don't have to be sorry, Ali. It's not your fault."

Then I took another gulp of the wine and sighed deeply.

"Do you want to dance with me?"

"Don't you hate dancing?"

"Yeah, I do. But my lovely fiancée here kind of likes it."

"Kind of…"

Slowly I leaned over and kissed her mouth, letting the tip of my tongue caress her lips until she parted them a little. Her tongue swirled around mine, making me feel so dizzy as if I had just had an entire bottle of wine and not just half a glass.

"I love you, Bella. So much it hurts."

I took her hand in mine and planted kisses all over her knuckles.

"Before I met you, I didn't even know what love was. It was just something that I read about in corny novels when I was a young girl. And when my marriage went all wrong and I was so unhappy, I always asked myself why I had to endure this. What was the point in marrying someone who didn't really care about you?"

"Bella, we don't have to talk about that right now."

"Yes we have." I whispered into her ear, my voice so low that it was barely audible.

"But now I know why I did it. No, not really why I did it, but why it had to happen in the first place. Everything that happened to me in my life was necessary to bring me to you…or to bring you to me. I love you more than I ever thought that I could love another being. You make me feel like…I don't think that I have words that are good enough for it."

Then I cleared my throat nervously before I continued.

"I know that you've already asked me this question and I said yes but I really want to...ask you too."

"Ask me what?"

"Mary Alice Cullen, will you marry me?"

"Oh that…,"

Slowly she leaned closer and wrapped her arms around my neck, twisting a wisp of my hair around her fingers before she put it behind my ear.

"Of course I marry you. I would marry you tonight, if it were possible."

I pulled her closer, feeling the spikey ends of her hair brushing against my cheek. She smelled incredibly good, like vanilla and sweet apples and most of all she smelled like my Ali and nothing else.

Somehow it was as if I had come home at last.

**XOXXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] Hope all of you will have a nice weekend. This is going to be the last update in the next days, since I have to spend some quality time with my homophobic family (oh the joy). Press the review button down there. I have the feeling that I really need some love and encouragement.


	56. Chapter 56

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hugs to all my lovely readers out there; it's your support that keeps me motivated to write. So thanks a lot for it.

This chapter is dedicated to **xOxElLax0x** & **zombieluvr**. Hope you'll enjoy

*Lemon alert in this one. As usual – don't like/don't read. But according to some people, girls can't have sex with each other, so it's not really a lemon *rolls her eyes*….

****Chapter 56****

"How much I love you, my beautiful fiancée." she whispered while we entered the hotel room.

Slowly I pulled down the zipper of her dress, planting open mouthed kisses on every inch of exposed creamy-white skin on her back. A few moments later the ruby colored silk dress landed on the ground, leaving her in nothing but a black lace thong. My fingertips brushed over the tattoo on her left hipbone while her dainty hands twisted into my hair to pull me closer.

"You have still too many clothes on for my taste." She mumbled against my neck before the tip of her tongue swirled over my earlobe, sending a wave of pleasant shivers down my spine.

Her full lips found mine and I moaned into the sweetness of her mouth when she sucked my upper lip between her teeth to nibble on it.

"Undress, Bella…" she whispered, her voice sounding hoarsely.

"…but do it slowly…I want to watch,"

She wasn't really going to make me do this, was she?

A smile flashed over her pretty pixie-face when she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Don't be embarrassed it's just me…and if you do it, you can watch me too."

Her hand cupped her right breast for a moment, squeezing the rosy nipple that hardened under the touch of her fingers. She bit her lip to keep herself from moaning.

I felt my panties getting soaked just from watching her. With trembling fingers I started unbuttoning my dress, hoping that the candle light in the hotel room would somehow magically manage it to cover the blush on my face.

The fact that she was looking at me while I was doing this made the skin on my entire body tingle.

I unclasped my bra, letting it fall down on the soft carpet next to me.

"Touch yourself for me, Bella."

"Ali, I can't…"

"Shhh…of course you can. Come here, honey."

I walked over to the huge bed and wrapped my arms around her neck. She cupped my face between her hands and planted a soft kiss on my lips.

"Lay back and close your eyes."

She took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently before she guided it to my left breast. My thumb rolled over my nipples, making them pebble instantly. Fuck that felt good…

"I love watching you, when you touch yourself, Bella." she whispered, leaning down to suck one of my hard nipples into her warm mouth.

Almost automatically my hand moved lower until I reached the small stripe of soft curls between my legs.

"Yes, just like that. I bet you're already slick and warm down there."

God, what it did to me when she talked to me like that…

I felt the muscles in my stomach tightening as my fingertips circled the throbbing pearl of my clit but I knew that I didn't want to come like this so I took several deep breaths through my nose to calm myself down again.

"Make love to me. I want to feel you." My voice was barely audible now.

Her slim thigh touched my overheated flesh that left a trail of slick wetness on it when I started rocking my hips back and forth.

"I want you closer," she whispered, pulling us around so that my inner lips nudged against hers with every small movement. I whimpered slightly when I felt how wet she was. Her essence mixed with mine while our bodies melted into one. Our hips found the same rhythm and when my clit lightly brushed against hers, a low moan escaped her lips.

Faster and faster we moved our bodies against each other, while more wetness poured out of my entrance…or was it hers? Her legs started trembling slightly and then I felt her clit throbbing against mine. She was so close to me now…so close and no one would ever manage to separate us again.

Our bodies were covered in a thin layer of sweat and I knew that her skin would have a deliciously salty taste now. My name died on her lips while the after waves of her climax triggered my own. A few heartbeats later I tasted salty tears on the tip of my tongue. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me closer against her pixie-like body, while her fingertips started massaging my scalp in small circles until I finally fell asleep.

**XXXX**

"Congrats on your divorce, Bella. I'm really happy that you got custody for the little one. You were so worried about that."

"Thanks, Benjamin." I mumbled while I continued stuffing several books back into a wooden shelf.

"He still has visitation right though. That's worse enough."

"Hmm,"

"And now you're going to marry my sis…I mean Ali?"

"Your sister, you can say it. It doesn't hurt, Benjamin."

"Yeah, I know. It's still…well, so strange somehow. Don't get me wrong. I like her a lot. She's fun and she looks so much like my mom. But I don't know how I'm supposed to feel like. I've never had a sister before."

I played with the rose-gold ring on my left hand and nodded my head.

"I guess it would be difficult for me too, to suddenly have a sister or a brother."

"You're an only child too, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. And I'm pretty sure that I don't have any unknown siblings…or half siblings walking around. You shouldn't worry too much about how you should feel like, Benjamin. Whatever you feel, it's okay. Ali is so relieved that you don't hate her and want to get to know her better."

"Hate her? Why would I hate her?"

"For complicating your life and then there's the fact that your mother didn't want to keep Ali. Doesn't that change the way you see your mom?"

"Nope, definitely not; you see, my mom was too young when she had Ali and our family in Romania, they are…well, quite conservative to put it mildly. She did what she thought was right back then and later…when she married my dad, it was too late to fight for custody for the child."

"Hmm, I see."

He cleared his throat and started writing down a list with books that we would have to order in the next days.

"And to answer your earlier question - yes, we're going to get married."

"When?"

"We've not really talked about that yet, but soon." The sooner the better, I added secretly in my head, while my lips automatically twisted into a smile.

"Isn't that weird for you that you were married to her brother before?"

I dropped the book I was holding and kneeled down on the ground to pick it up again.

"Kind of…I'm just so sorry that her parents aren't supportive of her. They blame her for everything that happened although it's clearly not her fault. My marriage was over before I met her. I just didn't want to see that."

"Maybe they just need more time to accept the fact that you and her are together now?"

"I don't know if time will change anything. Carlisle is so stubborn and Esme still has trouble dealing with the fact that Ali is _that_ way."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't have to be. It's not your fault. I just wished that I could do something to make Ali feel better about this. She doesn't deserve the way they're treating her as if she were the black sheep of the oh-so perfect Cullen clan."

"Perfect? Her father knocked up a sixteen year old girl and your ex-husband is a violent asshole who isn't even allowed to see his own child without psychological supervision. They're so far away from being perfect like I am from being straight."

Benjamin's eyes – today they were a bright blue color – sparkled sheepishly at the end of the statement.

Then he leaned down and started putting several books into box.

"What are you doing? Aren't we going to sell those?"

"Of course, we're going to sell them, Bella. I'm just putting them away, because Ela is coming here today."

"Ela is your stepmother, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is. She's so supportive. I don't want her to get a shock from all the cocks on the covers."

"But she knows that this is a shop for gay people, doesn't she?"

He nodded his head while I kneeled down to shove the box with the not stepmom-appropriate books into a corner.

The doors of the shop opened with a loud speak that was followed by the tripping noise of stilettos on parquet floor.

"Hello Ela, it's so good to see you."

"Hi Benjamin, the shop is so cozy. I can't believe that Seth managed to turn a fishing supply shop into something so beautiful."

She walked through the shelves and touched several books with her fingertips.

"Remarkable,"

There was something in her melodic voice that sounded familiar to me although I couldn't place it, but I knew for sure that I had heard it before.

The dark-haired woman turned around and when I looked into her light grey eyes, my mouth fell open.

Her own face was still heart-shaped like I remembered it, but the ugly glasses were gone together with the braces and the freckles. It still wasn't an overly pretty face, but it was kind and friendly.

"Bella Swan?"

"Angela Webber?"

"Actually it's Angela Popescu now. What are you doing here?"

"I'm working here. God, I can't believe it's really you. Didn't your parents send you to an all-girl boarding school for your senior year because your father had some kind of paranoia that you would get pregnant?"

"Yes they did. Jeez, it was so ridiculous…as if I had been interested in any of the immature baby-faces in our class."

She put a finger in her mouth and made puking noises.

Benjamin raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"You know each other? Don't tell me that you used to date. That would be too weird."

"We did not date…Bella was in my high school."

"Hmm,"

"So, you're Benjamin's stepmother?" I asked her after a few awkward moments of silence.

"I'm married to his father Stefan but I'm afraid that I'm not really old enough to be the stepmother of a nineteen year old."

Benjamin chuckled slightly and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"You're doing okay."

"Thanks," she mumbled, taking a book in her hands. When she turned it around her face turned into a bright crimson color.

"What the hell is that?"

"If you don't know what that is, that explains why you and dad don't have kids."

"Your father and I don't have kids, because we don't want any. He's busy enough dealing with you and your crazy family in Romania."

She put the book back on the table and sighed deeply.

"Do me a favor and don't suggest showing the shop to your uncle while he's here. I'm afraid; it would give him a heart attack or something like that."

"You don't have to worry. I'm not planning on bringing him here. I already promised dad that I wouldn't do that."

"Good to hear that, Benjamin."

Then she turned to me, her coral tinted lips twitching into a bright smile.

"What are you doing tonight, Bella?"

"Ahm, I don't really have plans. Why are you asking?"

"We could have dinner together at my house. Oh please, say yes. It's going to be so much fun."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N] I'm surprised that none of you figured it out before…Angela is Benjamin's stepmom. I felt that Bella needs some new friends. I mean, Ali has Jasmine has her best friend (although some of you really seem to dislike her character lol).

Press the review button and leave me some love :-) if you want to read more of my little soap opera


	57. Chapter 57

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to SM

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. I'm so happy that you enjoy reading my little soap opera aka fanfiction. It's your support that keeps me writing, so thanks a lot for it.

This chapter is dedicated to **aquarius127** and **aurike**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 57****

"Can I ask you something, Bella?" Angela started hesitantly while she sipped on the ruby colored wine in front of her.

"Have you always been…I mean did you always know that you're interested in other women?"

I shook my head and started playing thoughtlessly with the fragile ring on my left hand.

"I don't think so. Well, to be honest, I never really thought about it when I was younger. Dating guys just seemed…I don't know…normal to me…kind of. I've never imagined me together with another woman."

"But you kissed me."

My cheeks reddened instantly, turning into a bright crimson color.

"Yeah, but that was just…just…,"

"Just awkward." she stated cheerfully.

"Well maybe, I'm just not that good at kissing girls, who knows."

"It doesn't really matter anymore." I mumbled, hoping that she would drop that topic now.

"Hmm,"

"How long have you been married?" I asked her to change the subject of our conversation.

"Almost three years now. My parents weren't too happy about it. They think that Stefan is too old for me or I'm too young for him, however you look at it. And before you ask me…I don't have a father complex or something like that. He's…well, Stefan sees me…I mean, he really sees me. And he makes me feel beautiful, although I know that I'm not that pretty."

Her grey eyes started sparkling while she spoke.

"And your parents can't see how happy you are?"

"We don't talk a lot since the wedding. Well, you know how Forks is like. It's small and people gossip a lot. Now that we're living here in Seattle it's much better. And I honestly don't care much about what people think of my marriage. This is my life and I won't let anyone decide what's right or wrong for me."

"Guess that's a good way to deal with things." I mumbled, taking another sip from the delicious wine that tasted of raspberries and honey.

"Is that why you're so supportive about Benjamin being gay?"

She nodded her head and started putting the empty plates into the dishwasher.

"Love is just love and I really want him to be happy."

"And his father?"

"Stefan wants that too but it's more difficult for him. He has certain expectations for his son. When I told him that being with a girl is definitely not what would make Benjamin happy that made him think a lot. He doesn't want his son to be miserable."

"Does your mother know? She asked me curiously.

"Renee? No, she doesn't. I and my mom don't get along that well. Plus, she's probably still pissed enough at me for divorcing her beloved son-in-law."

"I'm sorry to hear that. If you need any help breaking the…news to her, you just have to ask. We managed to explain Benjamin's orientation to his stupid uncle. Renee can't be worse than him."

"Wasn't that, the uncle, who sent him to that hooker?"

She nodded her head and chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, exactly. But do me a favor and don't mention it too often to Benjamin. He's terribly embarrassed about the incident. Afterwards his uncle congratulated him to finally being a real man or some crap like that."

"That guy doesn't sound very nice, Angela."

"Oh please, call me Ela. Everyone does. And you're actually right. Vlad is such an aggressive ass but he's Stefan's family…well, technically, he's family of his late wife. But still, I'm happy when he's off to Romania again."

"Hmm,"

"Family is very important to Stefan. You can't choose your family, but blood is thicker than water.…"

She cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"There is something that I need to tell you, Bella. I'm really sorry about your dad, Bella."

"Please, I don't want to talk about Charlie now. How do you know about that anyway?"

"We're talking about Forks here. A girl can't change her hair color there without half of the town noticing it, yet along something so…,"

"Angela, please,"

"Right, you don't want to talk about it. That's okay. We don't have to."

She pulled a small box out of the fridge.

"Do you want some pralines for dessert?"

Chocolate pralines? Hell, yes of course I wanted some. I reached out my hand to take one between my fingers but then I stopped.

Shouldn't I at least try to lose a few pounds before the wedding? I cringed slightly when I remembered my first one. Next to Edward I had looked like a bloated whale.

_I'm going to carve my name into that fat ass of yours…_

"Bella, are you okay?" Angela asked me worriedly, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Look, I really shouldn't have mentioned your dad."

"No, it's okay. I was just thinking about my ex-husband. He's…well, just let's say that he's not happy about the fact that I'm in a relationship with his half-sister now."

Understatement of the year, I thought bitterly.

"I bet he's just jealous."

"No, he's not. Edward barely looked at me while we were married. So, why would he be jealous now? He doesn't even want me."

"Some people always want what they can't have."

**XXXX**

I wasn't too keen on meeting my ex in-laws after the ugly divorce was through. It was obvious how they felt about the relationship between me and Ali, and I didn't feel the masochistic urge to take any more crap from them.

However, Lilly still kept asking about her grandparents over and over again until I finally agreed to meet with Esme at their house.

One wrong word, I thought while I parked the car in front of the garage and turned off the engine. Just one wrong word and we're off here…

Ali sighed deeply and squeezed my hand for a moment before she put it to her lips and planted a soft kiss on the back of my hand.

"You know that we don't have to do this."

I nodded my head.

"Yes, I know and I also know that your parents don't like the fact that we're together now. They don't have to do that, point. But they're part of Lilly's life and I really want it to stay that way, if it's possible. But I guess, we'll find out about that."

We walked over to the house and knocked on the door. Esme opened it a few moments later and burst out into tears as she wrapped her arms around my copper-haired daughter.

"Oh, Lilly…"

"Grandma, why are you crying?" Lilly asked her when Esme finally managed to calm herself down enough to pull back.

"It's nothing, sweetie." she croaked out, wiping her running nose on the sleeve of her silk blouse.

"Your grandma is just so happy to see you again."

Then she turned to me and Ali, her voice was still trembling slightly when she spoke.

"Thank you for still letting me see her, Bella. I was so worried that you wouldn't…after…I mean,"

"After the divorce, mom. You can say it. It won't hurt you."

Esme nodded her head, obviously much too agitated to bring out reasonable words.

We followed her into the garden where Fido almost instantly started eating the prizewinning tulips. Which dog eats flowers? There had to be something wrong with him, seriously.

I pulled a box with biscuits out of my handbag and handed them to Lilly.

"Here, sweetie, give him some of those before he starts nibbling on the paint of the porch or something like that."

"Yes, mommy,"

A smile flashed over Esme's face when Lilly grabbed the calf-sized dog at his metal collar and pulled him away from the flowers.

"Lilly seems to like the dog a big deal." she mumbled while she poured us a glass of lemonade.

"Yes, she does. And we're glad too that we have him. You never know, who might show up in the middle of the night. The dog is a bit hoggish but he's an excellent watch dog."

"Mary Alice, you are not seriously scared of your brother, are you?"

She nodded her head and sighed deeply. I put my arm around Ali's shoulder and pulled her closer.

"Of course, she's scared of him. We're scared shitless. Have you forgotten that he threatened to kill me?"

"I'm sure that he didn't mean it like that…,"

"He didn't mean it like that?" my voice raised two octaves.

"He didn't mean it like that? Mom, are you kidding me?"

Ali stood up from the ground so quickly that she spilled the content of her glass all over the table.

"I'm sorry, mom."

"Don't have to be." Esme whispered while she cleaned the table.

"And just for the record, mom; he meant it. Why are you still defending him? You and dad make up lame excuses for every single one of his…mistakes. Why are you doing that?"

Esme cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"Mary Alice, I've already told you that your brother is sick."

"I'm sick too, mom. Especially of the stupid excuses you have for my brother's behavior. Hearing voices…what sort of crap was that?"

"Mary Alice, please don't talk like that. He really has some mental problems. I wasn't lying to you when I told you about that."

"If he has problems he needs help or things are going to get really ugly one day."

"I know, your father is in Anchorage right now, trying to talk some sense into that thick scull of his. But he's stubborn and insists that he doesn't want to talk to a shrink."

"Good. I mean not that he doesn't want to talk to a professional but that Carlisle is trying to convince him to do it." I stated, taking a big gulp from the lemonade in front of me.

Esme's emerald green eyes caught the rose-gold rings on our hands and she cringed slightly.

"Bella, I don't understand why you want to be with Mary Alice now. She's always been…well, she's always been that _way_."

"The word is gay, mom. The earth won't open up underneath you and swallow you whole if you use it."

"Fine, so, so Mary Alice is gay but you, Bella…you, you have a child. Don't you think that you should put Lilly's happiness above your own?"

I inhaled sharply between my teeth before I answered her, desperately trying to make my voice sound calm.

"Firstly, does Lilly look unhappy to you?"

"No, of course not."

"Then, why are you saying things like that? Lilly is way more accepting of the fact that Ali and I are together now."

"She's probably still too young to understand it completely." Esme stated.

"You're right, kind of, but Lilly understands that I'm happy with Ali. And she understands that we belong together."

I pulled Ali on my lap, wrapping my arms around her delicate waist. Slowly I leaned down and planted a feather light kiss upon the sensitive skin on her neck, making her giggle her crystal bell laughter.

Esme's heart-shaped face paled a few shades and her mouth opened and closed a few times but no words came out.

"How can you let her touch you like that, Mary Alice. She's your brother's wife."

"She was my brother's wife. Was not is, that's the key point in this situation. Bella is with me now and we're going to stay together. No matter how much you disapprove of that."


	58. Chapter 58

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. Thanks and hugs to those of you who keep supporting my story with your reviews. It means so much to me to read that you enjoy reading what I'm writing. Without your encouragement I definitely wouldn't be here now.

This chapter is dedicated to **DeJee** for making me laugh when I really needed it. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 58****

_Ali's POV_

I had hoped that it would get easier for me to work when Lilly wasn't swirling around me the entire time, but the truth was that the empty house made me way too nervous to concentrate on new sketches. So, I finished the dresses for Didyme and put them into a box. Her PA had called me earlier that she would come over to pick them up because she wanted to wear them at the opening of a gallery.

Then I turned on the TV, not really paying attention to what was on. All that mattered was that there were at least some background noises. I petted the huge head of the russet colored dog next to me, making him purr like a little kitten.

"Are you hungry again?"

Jeez, you're talking to an animal. What the hell is wrong with you?

"You miss, Lilly, don't you?"

The dog raised one eyebrow looking so sad that I had to swallow hard to keep tears from falling.

Yeah, I know. I miss them too, Fido."

The doorbell rang and I went to open it.

"Hi, Ali," Benjamin greeted me cheerfully before he planted a kiss on each of my cheeks.

"Morning, Benjamin. So it's turquoise today?" I asked him when I realized the bright color of his new contacts that matched the scarf around his neck.

"Are you okay? You look so sad." He stated as he followed me into the living room and sat down on the couch.

"It's nothing." I croaked out, embarrassed that it was so obvious how it looked like inside of me.

"Kay, if you say so, but you could tell me if something is wrong,"

"Yeah, I know. Thank you."

"Where is Lilly?"

"She's at school."

"Oh, I see. And Bella is working and you're sad that you have to stay at home like some dull, old housewife, aren't you?"

"No, it's not like that. I just don't like, I mean I just…"

"You just can't be alone, can you?"

"What makes you think that I can't be alone?" Although, it's true of course, I added in my head.

"And why are you here anyway? Did, I forget that we wanted to meet or something like that?"

"Firstly, I know because you're not old enough to watch the crappy shopping channel."

I caught a glimpse of the screen and quickly changed the channel when I realized that they were advertising for electric blankets.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, Ali. A lot of people have problems with that."

"I don't have problems with being alone." I stated sullenly.

"Mom had trouble with that too. I think that you inherited that from her."

"Hmm,"

"You know that I'm right, don't you?"

"I don't know if you're right or not. Have you forgotten that I never met our mother?"

"I meant the part about you not being able to be alone."

"Yeah, okay, you're right about it. Being alone makes me nervous, kind of."

"It's okay. You'll get used to it." hopefully…

"And as for why, I'm here…," He cleared his throat nervously before he continued.

"I'm trying to avoid my uncle. He's starting to get on my nerves and I don't want to spend more time with him than absolutely necessary."

"Oh, I see."

"He's constantly complaining that my father refuses to do something about my homosexuality. God, I'm so happy when he's off to Romania again."

"My father and my mother aren't too happy about me being gay too. They're pretty old-fashioned."

"Maybe we should set up a therapy group for them or something like that? My kid is gay and I should stop being a homophobic ass about it."

I chuckled and poured him a glass of water that he emptied in one big gulp.

"But I guess it wouldn't be a smart decision to have your father and my uncle together in the same room."

The phone started ringing and I picked it from the table in front of me.

"Cullen."

"Good morning, Mrs. Cullen. My name is Emily Young. I'm your daughter's teacher."

"Oh, I'm Lilly's aunt, not her mother. Is everything okay with her?"

Can you tell her mom to come here and pick her up?"

"Is she sick or something like that?" I asked her worriedly.

"No, she's not. She…, well I would rather talk about that with her mother."

**XXXX**

I sighed deeply as I parked the car in front of the grey school building and walked into the small office on the right side of the entrance.

"Can I help you, Miss?"

"My name is Mary Alice Cullen. I'm here to pick up my niece."

The raven-haired woman behind the desk stood up and shook my hand for a moment before she crossed both of them on her stomach again. She looked about six months pregnant to me and an unpleasant feeling of jealously spread through my body. I would never know how that would be like, thanks to my stupid heart. It was so incredibly unfair.

"Hi, Miss Cullen, I'm glad that you could come here, although I still would prefer to talk to Lilly's mother about it."

I sighed deeply and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

She opened a box with blueberry muffins and stuffed the half of one into her mouth.

"Do you want one too? They're low-fat."

I shook my head.

"Look, I've already told you that her mother is working. So, I'm afraid that you will have to talk to me now, if you think it's necessary."

She cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"I think so. Lilly punched a child in her class in the nose with her fist. I'm glad that she didn't break it. We don't tolerate such behavior here. You should make that clear to her…or her mother should do it."

"Fine, we'll talk to her. Can I see her now?"

"Of course, you can, Miss Cullen…but…"

"But what?" There was something about her that annoyed me endlessly, although I didn't know her at all. Maybe it was the fact that she was pregnant or it was her voice, I wasn't really sure.

"Are you sure that everything is okay at home? I mean, I don't know how much you're involved with Lilly's parents." Involved, what a nice way of saying it. Involved, so I was involved with Lilly now, how much I hated people that tried to sugarcoat everything. I was pretty sure that she was a pro at that. Her words, though they were reproachfully still sounded friendly. Almost as good as the low-fat frosting on her stupid muffins would taste like, I assumed.

"Our family and the problems we might be having is none of your business, Miss Young…,"

"I didn't mean it like that. She told me that her father is not living with her anymore and she's staying with you and her mother now."

"Are you trying to tell me that she punched the other kid because her parents are separated?"

"No, but Lilly seems so…I don't know…tensed somehow. I'm not really sure if she understands what happened."

Her parents just got divorced and her mother is planning on marrying her aunt. Of course, she's tensed, and doesn't understand everything.

"Can I see, Lilly now?" I asked her impatiently.

"She's with the school nurse right now, because she hurt her hand during her little outburst."

**XXXX**

Carefully I put some cooling salve all over her tiny hand. She cringed slightly and a low whimper left her throat. I wondered if it would be better to go to the hospital with her, although I was sure it was just sprained and not broken.

"Do you want some ice for your hand, sweetie?"

She nodded her head and I stood up to get her some.

"Try to hold your hand still." I told her when I returned with a plastic bag with a few ice cubes in it.

"Auntie Ali, are you angry at me because I hit Alec?"

"Maybe a little bit, I'm sorrier that you hurt your hand. Do you want to tell me why you punched the boy?"

"He made fun of my drawing and pulled on my braids." She stated and her face turned into a frown.

"Lilly, you can't hit other children in your class even if they make fun of you. It's not right."

"But Uncle Emmett punched my daddy too."

"Yeah, I know, Lilly. He shouldn't have done that." At least not in your presence, I added silently in my head. Jeez, there were a lot of things that shouldn't have happened in front of her eyes.

"You have to promise me that you won't do something like that again."

"But Alec made fun of my drawing. He's so mean and I'm going to hate him for the rest of my life."

"For the rest of your life is a pretty long time, don't you think?"

**XXXX**

"She did what?" Bella's voice raised two octaves. I wrapped my arms around her from behind and pulled her close to me.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I knew that you would freak and it wasn't necessary to call you just for that."

She turned around and took two steps backwards until her back touched the kitchen counter behind her.

"What did you tell her teacher when you picked her up?"

"What do you mean, what did I tell her? That we're going to talk to her what else."

I cupped her face between my hands and planted a soft kiss on the tip of her nose.

"I don't think that she's going to do it again. Her injured hand taught her a lesson."

"Where is she now?"

"In her room with the dog, trying to teach him a new trick." The only trick he knew by now was how to look as if he was constantly starving no matter how much food you gave him.

"Lilly! Come down here."

She walked down the stairs, her left hand wrapped around the metal collar around Fido's neck.

Bella kneeled down in front of her and put a wisp of her copper hair behind her ear.

"You were pretty angry today, weren't you?"

"Yes, mommy."

"But you can't hit other children, no matter how angry you are."

"Hmm,"

"I'm serious, Lilly. Promise me that you won't do it again."

"But Alec's sister hits him too when our teacher is not looking, and he is really mean. He says my hair looks like carrots in the sun. Jane says that she's going to teach me how to hit him where it really hurts."

"Lilly, that doesn't sound like a good plan to me."

"But Jane does it all the time and Alec never says anything mean to her because he knows that she's stronger than him."

I don't care what Jane does. She's not my child but you are and I don't want you to do things like that."

"Hmm,"

Bella took her hand in hers and examined it carefully. It looked a little bit swollen now.

"Can you make your hand a fist?" she asked her worriedly.

Lilly nodded her head and sighed deeply.

"I can, but it hurts."

"Maybe we should take her to the hospital, don't you think? It could be broken, couldn't it? How did she manage to hurt her hand like that anyway?"

"I wasn't there, Bella, but I assume she forgot to put her thumb in her fist or something like that. And I'm pretty sure that her hand is not broken but if it makes you feel better we could still go to the ER with her and let them do an x-ray."


	59. Chapter 59

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Another update of my little Twilight soap opera aka fan fiction, hope you'll enjoy.

This chapter is dedicated to **secrets87** for telling me I'm awesome. It really made my crappy day so much better, so thanks a lot for it.

#FAQ#

*Benjamin's uncle Vlad is the brother of his mother, so he's Ali's uncle too. She's going to meet him in one of the next chapters.

*When are Carlisle and Esme going to overcome their stubbornness concerning the relationship between Ali and Bella?

I don't know, but something has to happen about that pretty soon for they're starting to annoy me…

****Chapter 59****

"Grandpa, is my hand broken? She asked him curiously while he studied the radiogram in front of him.

"I don't think so, sweetie." he mumbled, pulling her on his lap.

She looked down at the radiogram on his desk and pointed at it.

"My hand looks funny in the picture."

He chuckled slightly and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"That's because you can see all the bones in it. See there's your thumb and your fingers…and no fracture to see anywhere."

"But my hand still hurts." she stated, biting the fingernails on her left hand nervously.

"It's just sprained pretty badly. How did that happen? Did you fall down or something?"

"No, grandpa, I punched a boy in my class."

"Why did you do that?"

"He was mean to me and I hate him." She told Carlisle, her brown eyes narrowing into tiny slits.

"Lilly, you really shouldn't hit other kids."

Then he turned to me and Ali again.

"Make sure she keeps the brace on. Do you want some painkillers for her?"

I shook my head.

"We have something at home to give her….or we could put some more ice on it. Cooling it will help, I guess."

"Hmm,"

"Grandpa, can I keep the picture of my bones?"

"You can if you promise me not to hit anyone again."

"I promise."

She grabbed the stethoscope that was hanging around his neck and pressed the cold metal against her arm.

"What's that for?"

"Lilly, that's not a toy. It's to hear better what's inside the body."

He put one of the earbuds against the shell of her ear and placed the other end of the stethoscope on her chest.

"That's your heartbeat what you're hearing right now."

"Really?"

He nodded his head and put a wisp of her copper hair behind her ear.

She stood up from his lap and walked around in his office. Carefully she touched several of the books in the wooden shelf with her fingertips before she finally pulled one out and opened it.

"Grandpa, have you read all of these books?"

"Yes, sweetie,"

"I like your books better than daddy's. Yours have pictures in it."

"I know, Lilly."

"When I'm big I want to be a doctor too…"

A wide grin flashed over Carlisle's face while Ali next to me rolled her eyes. I wondered why she was reacting like that.

"But only for dogs," Lilly finished cheerfully.

"For dogs? Lilly, vets aren't real doctors. Don't you want to become a real doctor?"

"Maybe,"

"Don't get your hopes up high, Dad. She's too young to know what she wants to be. When she's older she's probably going to change her mind again."

"You mean like you who decided to waste all your talent with designing dresses?"

"Dad, I'm tired of having this conversation with you over and over again. You need to start accepting the choices I've made for my life."

"I would, if you'd finally choose to do something reasonable."

"Stop talking to her like that." I snarled at him, wrapping my arms around Ali's waist when I realized that her entire body started trembling slightly.

"Don't tell me how to talk to my daughter, Bella."

"Mommy, are you and grandpa angry at each other?"

"No sweetie, we're just talking. Can you, do me a favor and wait for me and your aunt outside the office?"

When the door closed behind her, I took a deep breath through my nose to calm myself down again.

"I know that you don't like the fact that Ali and I are together now."

"That's putting it mildly." he mumbled, running his fingers through his blond hair.

"But I assume that you want to see Lilly again. I mean outside the hospital."

"Of course, I want to see her. She's my only grandchild…well, at least until the twins…,"

"If you want to stay a part of Lilly's life you need to stop blaming Ali for everything that happened in this family."

"I'm not blaming her…"

"Oh yes, you do, Carlisle and I'm tired of it. You only see what you want to see, the mistakes that she made. Well, what you dare to call a mistake. For what you think of as a mistake is the best thing that ever happened to me in my entire life."

"Bella, please, you don't have to do that." Ali croaked out and tried to pull me out of the office.

"Yes, I have to. Look, Ali, I hate to see how miserable you are because your parents keep treating you like crap."

I turned to Carlisle again, my voice cold as ice now.

"We're going to stay together, whether you like that or not. I love her and she loves me…"

"What about Edward?"

"What about him? We're divorced now. Maybe we shouldn't have got married in the first place."

"Don't say things like that. He's so miserable about what happened."

"He should be, Carlisle. He should be. Especially about the awful things he said to his sister…I mean half-sister and then he should be sorry that he almost choked me to death. I wonder how he would have explained that to our daughter later."

"Bella, don't be like that. He didn't know what he was doing."

"Don't start with the hearing voices crap again because I don't buy it. You're just trying to make excuses for his behavior."

"No, I'm not. He's sick and he needs help although he doesn't want to acknowledge that."

**XXXX**

I had just finished cutting the last tomatoes into the salad bowl when the doorbell rang.

"Hi, Bella," Angela greeted me cheerfully and planted a kiss on my left cheek.

"It was so nice of you to invite me and Benjamin over for dinner." She told me as we entered the living room.

"Yeah, it was nice. You practically saved us from spending time with my stupid homophobic uncle."

"He's not that bad. You have to be a little more patient with him. I'm sure he'll get used to it."

"Wishful thinking, Ela…but we're not here to talk about Vlad the entire evening. Where's the little Boxer?"

"Lilly is upstairs, playing with the dog. I can't have him in the kitchen with me while I'm cooking. He keeps begging for food and I can't say no when he looks at me with those puppy eyes."

"I always wanted to have a dog too when I was a kid but my dad didn't allow it no matter how much I asked for it."

Ali chuckled slightly when she saw the expression on his face.

"If I'll have kids, I'm letting them have as many pets as they want to."

"Good luck with that." I mumbled and poured Angela a glass of wine.

"I'm serious, Bella. Animals are good for children. They help them to learn some responsibility."

"Do you want to have kids?" Ali asked him, sipping on the wine in front of her.

"Yes, of course. But it's not easy to do without a woman. Guess you're luckier on that part. All you girls need to do is to find someone who is willing to jizz into a cup…,"

"Yeah, probably." Ali whispered and stood up from her chair to walk into the kitchen to get the lasagna out of the oven.

"Is she okay?" Benjamin asked me when she was out of sight.

"Hmm, yes, just try to cool down on the baby subject."

"Doesn't she want any? She gets along so great with Lilly that I assumed…"

"She wants a baby, but the doctor says that she can't have one because of her heart condition."

"Oh, I see. And you don't want to have another child because you're afraid that it would ruin your great career possibilities in the Clearwater bookstore."

"You're impossible. I can't believe that I'm actually talking about our family plans with you. It's so none of your business."

"Don't take it personal, Bella. He does the same to me and Stefan too."

"Isn't making children the key point of heterosexual relationships?"

She rolled her eyes at that.

"The key point in any relationship is love."

The dog rushed down the stairs, leaving a trail of toilet paper behind him. Jeez, now he was starting to eat that too.

"Fido, come back!"

Lilly entered the living room and I realized that she had small pieces of paper all over her hair.

"Oh mommy, Fido is so stupid. He won't stand still when I tell him to."

"Lilly, what did you do with the dog again?"

"I want to make him a cast but it's not working for he moves around too much."

"Maybe he doesn't want to have a cast?" Benjamin assumed.

"I'm his doctor and if I think he needs a cast he'll get one."

"Oh, I see."

"You can be my assistant if you want to Benjamin." she offered generously.

"What does an assistant do?"

"Everything that I don't want to do…like cleaning up and giving injections,"

"That sounds pretty good and now that I've trained your mommy so well in the bookstore, I can quit my old job and start working for you."

He pulled a few pieces of paper out of her copper hair and she cringed slightly.

"Ouch!"

"Do you want to keep that stuff in your hair?"

"No, but you're not doing it right. My auntie Ali can teach you how to do it properly. She's really good at doing my hair."

Ali walked back into the living room and wiped her hands on the sleeves of her shirt.

"We should eat now as long as our dog is busy getting his cast off of his paw."

"Sweetie, I'll brush your hair out afterwards." she told Lilly as we sat down on the table.

"It'll be easier when everything is dry."

"Benjamin, can help you do it. He's my assistant now."

I filled the plates of the others with lasagna that made my mouth water before I put some salad on my own.

"Is that everything you're going to eat?" Ali asked me suspiciously.

I nodded my head.

"I'm trying to lose some weight for the wedding."

"What for? You know that I like you just the way you are now."

"Yeah, I know that Ali but I'd prefer it not to look like a fat whale wrapped in white silk when we get married."

"Bella, for the last time now, you're not fat and I don't want you to lose weight for the wedding. You're going to look lovely and when you would overcome these ridiculous issues that you have about me not making your dress…,"

"I don't want you to see it beforehand. It needs to be a surprise."

"Bella is actually right. Not about the losing weight thing of course. Crash diets are not really healthy. But about the dress."

"Ela, have you been shopping with this woman? She's always trying to hide her gorgeous curves behind some baggy clothes."

"I'll help her choose a dress for the wedding and don't worry it won't be baggy style."

"Sounds like a plan," I mumbled, taking a sip from my wine.

"Auntie Ali, when I'm going to get married you can do my dress."

"Thank you sweetie,"

"Whom, are you going to marry?" I asked her curiously.

"Jane from my class because everyone does what she wants and I kind of like that,"

"Hmm,"

"But that would mean that I had to see Alec every day and I really don't want that."

"Alec is the boy that you punched, isn't he?"

She nodded her head and frowned.

"I hurt my hand on his hard head."

"Maybe you should see that as a sign not to hit other kids in the future?"

"When I'm marrying Jane, she's going to punch him for me if I ask her to." she stated convincingly.

"What a romantic reason to get married," I whispered into Ali's ear.

She squeezed my hand under the table and started rubbing small circles all over my wrist.

"We can't all be romantics, can we?" she mumbled, blowing a gentle kiss over the back of my hand.

My face felt suddenly a lot warmer and I wondered if the magical-like effect she was having on my body would ever lessen or stay the same for the rest of my life.


	60. Chapter 60

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks and hugs to all my lovely readers out there. I'm so grateful that you're taking the time to read and review my little story here. It's your support that keeps me motivated.

This chapter is dedicated to **PatterThePaperKite** and **Jexy** for loving my story.

****Chapter 60****

"Are you sure that you don't want me to come with you?" Ali asked me as she parked the Volvo in front of Angela's house. I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently before I put it to my lips and planted soft kisses on her dainty knuckles.

"Yes, sweetheart, I am sure that I want my wedding dress to be a surprise for you."

"I could still act surprised, even if I'd seen it before." she told me when we stepped out of the car.

"No chance." I mumbled, pulling her closer to me to kiss her lips very gently. The tip of her tongue caressed my lower lip and when I gasped for air it slipped into my mouth to massage my tongue.

A pleasant shiver went down my spine and I twisted my hands into the silky curls of her short hair.

"Get a room."

I cringed slightly and pulled back to face Benjamin who grinned at us sheepishly.

"Don't listen to him, he's just jealous." Angela stated cheerfully while she nibbled on a sandwich in her hands.

"No, I'm not…well, maybe a little bit but the two of them are just too cute together."

"Thanks," I mumbled and wrapped my arms around Ali's waist.

"Shouldn't you be working right now?" she asked him while her fingers stroked up and down my bare forearms.

He sighed deeply and his face turned into a frown.

"Seth is working for me because my dad decided to force me spending some quality time with my uncle."

"He's not forcing you. You could have said no, you know." Angela told him, twisting her hair into a messy ponytail.

"Speak of the devil…," he whispered so low that it was barely audible as the door of the house opened again.

The first thing I realized about the grey-haired man was his eyes because they had exactly the same shade of melted caramel like Ali's. I felt her stiffen next to me.

He seemed to notice the similarity too for his face turned instantly white like chalk. I hoped that he wasn't going to have a heart attack or something like that.

Benjamin put one hand on his shoulder while his uncle mumbled something in Romanian to him.

He nodded his head and cleared his throat nervously before he spoke up again.

"Ali, this is my uncle Vlad…ahm I mean our uncle…,"

She held out her hand and I realized that her fingers were trembling slightly. To my surprise Vlad didn't take it. Instead he wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her so tightly that it made her gasp for air.

"Benjamin, tell your uncle to let her go. He's going to break her ribs."

He planted several kisses all over her face before he finally dropped his hands and pulled back.

"Tell your stepmother that I can understand her perfectly and don't need you to translate for me the entire time as if I were a complete idiot."

Then he turned to Ali, his voice sounding suddenly a lot warmer and friendlier, as if he was honestly pleased to see her. Maybe he was.

"You're pretty like your mother."

"Thanks." she croaked out.

"But you're too thin."

She's not too thin, I thought, it just looks like that because she's standing next to me.

He took her hand in his and looked down on it.

"You have fingers like a little doll."

Ali's face turned into a bright crimson color.

"I know that I have the size of a dwarf."

His eyes caught the rose-gold ring on her ring finger and a smile flashed over his face.

"Are you married?"

"No, not yet…,"

"Then you're…what's that called again…engaged?"

"Yes."

"Congratulations. I hope he makes enough money to feed you up a little bit."

"I'm not marrying a guy. I'm engaged to Bella."

"Bella? Who is Bella?"

I shyly waved my hand at him.

"Hi there,"

"I don't think I understand. What has she to do with your wedding? Is she your bridesmaid?"

"No, she's the one that I'm going to marry."

"But she's a girl! You're a girl! You are both girls! This is not right. Alicija, if you have trouble finding a suitable husband, I know someone…"

She quickly shook her head and took my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"I don't want to find a husband. I'm happy with Bella."

"But you're both girls! This is not normal."

"Vlad, we've already had this discussion several times now. It's not more normal for a girl to like a boy than to like a girl or for a boy to like a boy."

"She's right, Vlad."

"For you it's still uncle Vlad, young man, and just because my sister wanted you to be a girl when you were a little child doesn't mean, you have to act like a sissy now."

**XXXX**

"Wyatt? Like Wyatt Earp? You're not honestly planning on naming our child after a criminal, are you?"

Emmett chuckled slightly and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I'm not planning anything, babe, because _you _decided that we don't want to know the sex of the babies before the birth."

She dipped a piece of apple into a jar of mustard before she started nibbling on it.

I tried to remember if I used to have weird eating habits like that when I was pregnant with Lilly but I couldn't think of it.

"You get to name one of the twins but only if I you make suggestions that I like." She stated while she twisted a wisp of her blond hair around her fingers. I recognized that she wasn't wearing her wedding ring anymore probably because her fingers were swollen or something like that.

Ali wrapped her arms around my middle and rested her head against my shoulder. I planted a kiss on the silky curls of her hair and inhaled the sweet scent of vanilla that seemed to be streaming out of each of her pores.

"Auntie Rosie, can I give Fido the other half of my sandwich?"

"No, sweetie, you shouldn't do that."

"But he looks so hungry."

"He's already too fat, Lilly. You don't need to feed him every time he begs for it."

"Hmm,"

She giggled and put a wisp of Lilly's copper hair behind her ear.

"Trust me, sweetie. It's better that way."

The dog raised his head, it probably didn't seem like a good idea to him. I petted his huge head with my fingertips and a purring noise escaped his snout.

Ali cleared her throat nervously before she turned to her blonde sister again.

"Mom and dad are still so pissed at me."

"They're not pissed at you. Your parents are too fine to be pissed, but they're not really happy about the current situation." Emmett stated.

The situation is so not current, I thought while I pulled Ali closer to me, as if to make sure that she would stay right where she was.

"Look, Tinker-Ali, I'm really sorry that our parents are so…stubborn."

"Rose, you know how much I hate it when you call me that name. And just for the record; mom and dad are not stubborn. They are just so terribly old-fashioned about everything. I really wished they would manage to start accepting my relationship with Bella."

Her voice sounded so sad now that a sharp pain cramped around my heart. This was so hard for her and I wished that I could do something to make her feel better. Slowly, I pulled her on my lap and started rocking her back and forth while I planted a gentle kiss on the sensitive skin right beneath her hairline.

"Love you." I whispered into her ear while I pulled her closer, yet it still didn't feel close enough to me.

"Fine, so let's pretend our parents are not stubborn." Rosalie mumbled while she pulled a candy bar out of her handbag to dip it into the mustard before she stuffed the half of it between her coral tinted lips.

"Everyone in your family is stubborn, babe. I guess that's part of the Cullen DNA. Let's just hope that our kids won't inherit that too."

She frowned and stood up from her chair, placing her right hand on her rounded stomach.

"Right now I'm way more worried that they could get your big scull. It would make the whole birth a lot more complicated."

"You could always get a c-section, you know. We don't want to get parts of you damaged that we may still want to use in the future."

"McCarthy, I already told you that _we_ want a natural birth. No painkillers and all that other nonsense, I want to do it the traditional way."

I bite my own tongue to keep me from telling her that she would probably change her opinion about that once the labor pains started actually. My fingertips moved over the bulging scar on my abdomen that would cover my body for the rest of my life now.

How easy it could be to have a child and at the same time it could be so difficult…

Ali picked a daisy from the grass next to us and started crumbling the tiny petals between her fingers.

"Mom won't come to the wedding if dad is against it, will she?" she croaked out after a few awkward moments of silence.

Rosalie sighed deeply and kneeled down in front of Ali.

"I could talk to her if you want me to."

"You'd do that?"

She took Ali's hand in hers and squeezed it for a moment before she nodded her head.

"Of course I'd do it. That's what big sisters are there for."

"Because you don't have to, you know. It is worse enough that they're angry at me. I don't want them to be mad at you too because you're on my side now."

"Don't worry about that. I know how to handle mom. If things get ugly I can always use the babies…"

She inhaled sharply between her teeth and stood up from the ground again.

"You're okay, babe?"

"The babies…" she mumbled, placing her flat hand on her stomach again.

"I think I can feel them moving."

"Are you sure about that? Maybe it is just indigestion because of the amounts of mustard you're constantly eating."

"No, I'm not sure. This is my first pregnancy in case you've forgotten it, McCarthy."

He put one hand on her stomach and waited.

"I don't feel anything."

"That's because it has stopped now."

"Hmm,"

Fido nudged his head against Rosalie's side, whimpering like a little puppy and that noise coming out of his snout sounded so completely ridiculous that I couldn't suppress a giggle.

"There…" Rosalie whispered taking Emmett's hand and placing it right under her heart.

"Can you feel that now?"

He nodded his head.

"Is that hurting you when they kick like that?" he asked her worriedly.

"No, it just feels…well, strange somehow."

"But why are you crying then?"

"I, I…don't know." she stumbled out and wiped the tears away with her fingertips.

"It's just that I've…we've waiting for so long, that I can't believe it's really happening."

Ali stood up from my lap and cleared her throat before she spoke up, her voice trembling slightly.

"I'm sorry…I can't."

She rushed back into the house and I followed her, wrapping my arms around her before she even reached the door.

"Shhh," I mumbled and stroked down her cheekbone with my thumb until I reached her full bottom lip.

"It's going to be okay, Ali."

"No, it won't. I can never have that, never. There's no fertility treatment that may help with my stupid heart." She whispered hoarsely before she burst out into tears.

I pulled her pixie-like body against me and caressed the small stripe of bare skin between her shirt and her jeans with feather light movements.

"Being pregnant is not as fun as it looks like from the outside. I mean there are the swollen feet and the stretchmark's and the mood swings and all the other stuff."

"I wouldn't mind."

"I know, honey. And I'm really sorry because I can't do anything to make you feel better about the baby-thing."

"I know that you're sorry, you keep telling me that the entire time."

She took my hand to blow a soft kiss on the back of my hand. Then her lips twitched into a grimace that was probably supposed to look like a smile.

"So being pregnant is not that fun. Are you sure that you want to go to that again? Because you don't have to, if you don't want to…"

I closed my eyes and for a split second the image of a tiny baby with spikey jet-black hair appeared in my mind. The thought send a warm, tingly feeling straight to my heart.

"I want to, I want it because since I'm with you, I kind of feel like everything is possible…everything and maybe even more."

**XOXOXOXOXOXO**

[A/N]

*You can help me pick names for the twins if you want to*

And now, I've got some good and bad news for you. The good one is that I'm on vacation in the next weeks (okay that's only good news for me and not for you) to travel the States with my sis who is unlike me able to read maps and stuff like that *lol*. I'm really excited about the trip and hope that everything will be fine.

Now to the bad news – there won't be any updates of WTHN for the next four weeks. I can't actually believe it, because this story feels like my second reality to me…

Until next time, take care :-)


	61. Chapter 61

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Hi everyone, hope you're all well and haven't forgotten about my little story here. I'm back from my vacation and managed to write a few new chapters for you. Are you happy to hear that?

This chapter here is dedicated to **rpattzluver4ever** and **Villemo79** for leaving such lovely reviews. I appreciate them a lot.

****Chapter 61****

If someone had told me just a few months ago about the direction my dull life was heading to, I had probably laughed at said person. Not only had I managed to free myself out of a loveless marriage but I had also found –or maybe I should better say – had been found by the most incredible, wonderful person on earth. And thanks to something that I couldn't see as anything less than a miracle, she loved me back.

"Hello? Earth to Bella!" 'I cringed and almost spilled the content of my coffee cup all over the table.

"You're a little bit dreamy today, aren't you?" Zafrina stated while she nibbled on the sugary donut between her fingers.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled halfheartedly.

"Don't have to be. It's quite amusing to tell the truth."

She cleared her throat before she continued.

"Well, about the wedding thing again. I'm afraid that I can't really help you with that. There is no gay marriage or registered partnership or whatever you might call it in the State of Washington."

"But we could get married in a different State, couldn't we?" I asked her while I added some cream and sugar to my coffee.

"Yes, you could. But that wouldn't change the fact that your marriage wouldn't be officially legal here in Seattle."

"Oh, I see." I mumbled, taking a sip from my coffee.

"I could set up a contract for Ali and you, if you'd want that." she suggested.

"Contracts? What for? I don't want a stupid contract. I want to get married."

Zafrina chuckled slightly and licked off a bit of the donut frosting from her fingers.

"For someone who is already divorced, you're extremely naïve."

"I'm not naïve," I croaked out, embarrassed by the cracking sound of my own voice.

"It's just that...this is so…so,"

"Unromantic," she finished cheerfully, before she took another donut and stuffed the half of it between her burgundy colored lips. I wondered how she managed to keep her figure although she was eating so much candy stuff. Probably it had to do with her being so tall.

"Look, Bella, I know that you don't want to think of it that way. But basically a wedding is nothing but a contract between two individuals."

"Ali says it's a way to show the world how much you love each other."

"Your pretty, little fiancée is even more naïve than you are, Bella. It's good that the two of you have me for stuff like that."

"What should we need a contract for anyway?"

"Well, there's the name thing…and then there's Lilly for example. And as you're planning on having more kids together, you should…,"

"How do you know about the kid's thing?" I asked her while I thought about the amount of unnecessary calories the chocolate covered donut on my plate would contain. Whatever it was, it was too much. Not that this knowledge would keep me from eating it in the end…

"The baby thing? Oh, I think that Jasmine mentioned something about that when I talked to her the last time."

"Oh, I see. The two of you are not dating or something like that, are you?" I asked her curiously. It would be good if Jasmine would start focusing on another woman.

The edged of her mouth twitched for a split second before she answered me, trying to keep her voice calm.

"No, we're not. Miss Goldstar dyke thinks that…, well it's not important. I had to call her because of the shrink that your ex-husbands lawyer hired to be around during his meetings with your daughter. She says she knows the guy from college or something like that and thinks that he only took the job because he obviously needs the money. I've done some research and it looks as if Peter Nomad has some problems with the tax authorities over in Houston."

"Zafrina, I don't care about the stupid shrink. And I don't like the idea of Edward being in the same room with Lilly. He's not quite right in his head right now."

"Yes, that's true. It's the reason, at least partly; why the judge decided that he can't meet with Lilly alone."

"I still don't like it." I stated after a few awkward moments of silence.

"And I don't want a shrink that is best buddy with Jasmine Whitlock. She hates me."

Oh Bella, please stop being so overdramatic. Jasmine doesn't hate you. Does she want to get into your fiancées bed again? Hell – yes. It must be Ali's being so tiny and delicate or something like that, that makes Jasmine go all cave-woman for her."

"She needs to move on…like now." I mumbled between greeted teeth.

"No, she doesn't."

"Zafrina, I thought that you were on my side…,"

"Calm down, Bella. This is just as if you and she are fighting over Ali like two dogs fighting over a bone. Ali is with you and even if she wouldn't. She wouldn't be with Jasmine instead. But the fact that Jasmine is in love with Ali, or thinks that she's in love with her, is going to be pretty useful, I hope."

"Useful? How can this annoying crush that she has about my fiancée…," Jeez, now I was starting to sound like a male macho asshole.

"This crush that she has about Ali is the reason why she is so willing to help us with the shrink. She's still mad at your stupid ex-husband for hurting his sister."

"Don't you think, I know that?"

"Yeah, probably, see, Bella, I really think that it will be useful for us if this Nomad keeps telling Jasmine everything that Edward mentions during his visits. Because if he's really mentally sick, I'm going to make sure that won't see Lilly ever again before her eighteen's birthday. It is way too dangerous to let the poor child get influenced by a lunatic."

I felt a shiver of fear running down my spine.

_Maybe you should consider moving…_

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"You do want Lilly to stay with Ali in case something happens to you, don't you?"

"Of course, I want that. Or well, I never really thought about that before." I didn't want to think about stuff like that –ever.

"Why are you asking?" I croaked out, my voice barely a whisper.

"For the contract, Bella; if we don't write it down in the contract it would probably mean that Lilly would have to live with your in-laws or your own parents. Do you prefer that?"

I quickly shook my head. "My father is dead." I whispered.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

I was glad that she didn't ask anything more about it. Charlie's death wasn't an easy subject for me to deal with.

"And your mother?"

I frowned.

"Renee is pretty self-absorbed. She travels a lot with her new husband. Plus she's not really into the whole being a grandma thing."

"I see, so I'm going to set up something that makes sure that Lilly is going to stay with Ali."

XXXX

I buried my face into the silky curls of her short hair and inhaled deeply through my nose to absorb as much as possible of her delicious vanilla-apple scent. My hands stroked up and down her bare forearms while she continued stirring the risotto in the pan.

"You don't have to do that, you know?"

"But I like cooking for you. Please, don't tell me that you won't eat anything again."

She put a bit of the creamy risotto on a spoon and put it to my mouth.

"Try,"

"Hmm, that's really good."

A smile flashed over her pixie-face, making her gorgeous eyes sparkle like melted caramel toffees.

"I wished you would manage to overcome these issues that you have about your weight." She told me, stroking over the roundness of my hips with her dainty fingers.

"Don't you know that I love you just the way you are? Not thinner or smarter or taller; just the way you are, because you are my Bella,"

I cupped her face between my hands and planted a soft kiss on her full lips. The tip of her tongue nudged against my lower lip until I parted my mouth a little to let her caress the inside of it.

"How much I love you." I mumbled against her lips when I finally managed to pull back.

"And I didn't mean the cooking thing,"

Nervously I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"I was talking about the custody thing for Lilly."

She sighed deeply and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"I don't want to think about stuff like that, Bella. If you…I mean, if something happened that would take you away from me, I…I couldn't…,"

"Sshhh," I whispered and kneeled down in front of her.

"Me too, I can't lose you. I just can't. But Zafrina thinks that it's necessary to discuss these things and I'm sure she's right. I don't want Lilly to stay with Renee. I hardly survived my childhood with my crazy mother without any kind of permanent damage. And now I don't want Lilly to live with her –ever. And your parents…,"

"Are old-fashioned and stubborn, I know. But there are always Rosie and Emmett."

"Your sister will be busy enough with the twins, once they are born."

"Probably; just tell Zafrina to set up the stupid contract and I'll sign it."

I planted a kiss on her forehead and put a wisp of her dark hair behind her ear.

"I wouldn't want anyone else to be Lilly's mom than you."

"I'll never be a mom…that's impossible thanks to my crappy heart."

I placed my right hand on her chest to feel the beating underneath the thin layer of velvety skin against my fingertips.

"Stop saying stuff like that. You will have a baby. We'll have a baby."

"But it would genetically still be yours and not mine."

She twisted a wisp of my long chestnut hair around her fingers.

"Does the genetic thing matter to you?" I asked her hesitantly.

"No, yes…, well, I don't really know."

Slowly I stood up from the ground again and planted a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose.

"I'm sorry that this is so complicated for you, Ali."

"Please, stop telling me that you're sorry about it, all the time. It doesn't change the situation one tiny bit." She tried to make her voice sound calm but it almost cracked at the end.

I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her closer to me.

"You know how much you mean to me, don't you?" I mumbled against her collarbone.

She nodded her head.

"I love you, Bella."

I twisted the fingers of her left hand with mine, letting the metal of our engagement rings clink against each other.

"Eighteenth of October?"

"Like in the eighteenth of October that is in three weeks?"

"We can wait until spring if you preferred that. I just thought that you wanted to get married soon."

She chuckled, her laughter like usual sounding more like a crystal bell.

"The sooner, the better."

I kissed her mouth so lightly that my lips were barely touching hers, still the feeling of her sweet breathe on my lips managed to set each cell in my body on fire. My hands moved under her shirt to caress the skin on her stomach.

"No," she mumbled, wrapping her hand around my wrist.

"I thought that you liked our last…well, little adventure in the kitchen." I asked her, letting my tongue circle over the shell of her ear.

"Of course, I liked it. I liked it a lot. But I…," she seemed to hesitate for a moment before she continued.

"I want our wedding night to be special and romantic and passionate."

Her cheeks blushed into a bright crimson color when I put her dainty hand to my lips to blow a tender kiss on the back of her hand.

"You don't want to sleep with me until we're married? Seriously?"

She nodded her head and smirked.

"I don't know, if I can do that, Ali."

"Patience is a virtue." she whispered, stroking down my cheekbone with her fingertips.

"Being patient isn't really my strong point." I confessed.

"Mine too."

"Then why do you want to wait? You know how much trouble both of us have, keeping our fingers off each other."

She kissed my left cheek and chuckled slightly.

"Just look at it from this angle…once I'm your wife, you can touch me whenever you feel like it."

I pulled her closer to me and twisted my hands into her hair while her eyes never left mine.

"My beautiful, impatient fiancée, how much I long for you to me mine forever."


	62. Chapter 62

[Disclaimer] SM owns Twilight. All I own are the eight extra pounds I gained during my trip to the States and I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't want to swap with me.

[A/N] As I've kept you waiting for so long, I had to reward you with another update today. Hope you'll enjoy.

This one here is dedicated to **SOFisticated1** and **mydsgirl**. Thanks for supporting my story with your reviews.

****Chapter 62****

My face turned into a frown when my eyes caught the reflection in the mirror in front of me. Just what I had expected – a whale in white silk…

"Angela, this is completely hopeless." I stated and tried to fumble at the pearls on the back of the awful dress.

"Wait, I'll help you. And just for the record; we'll find you a dress, Bella."

I sighed deeply and stepped out of the crinoline.

"I look absolutely horrible in white. The color makes me look two sizes bigger than I already am."

"You're not as big as you think you are."

"Thanks," I mumbled while I tried to ignore the growing hunger in my empty stomach.

"Are you sure that you want a white dress? I mean, you could always go pink or red or purple, whatever you want it to be. If white makes you feel…uncomfortable, just pick a different color."

She handed the ivory-colored silk-nightmare back to the shop girl.

I started biting my lower lip nervously until I tasted blood on the tip of my tongue. What if I didn't find a proper dress? This was going to be so embarrassing and I was pretty sure that Angela was going to lose her patience with me quite soon.

She took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"We will find you a dress. Don't worry."

"Easy to say for you, Ela. I bet you found yours in like…two minutes or something like that. I've seen the pictures of your wedding and you looked…fairytale-princess like."

"Thanks. I've always had this little girl fantasy about being a princess for once and so we got married in a castle. It was so romantic and then…,"

"And then Vlad got drunk and started singing and the whole romantic atmosphere died." Benjamin stated cheerfully as he walked into the fitting room.

"Arg, can't you wait outside?" I snarled at him, trying to cover myself up.

"What for?"

"Privacy, perhaps?"

"Oh come on, Bella. I've already seen naked women before; doesn't do much for me, so no worries."

I shoved him out of the fitting room with both hands but couldn't suppress a giggle while doing it. It was not easy to be mad at him. He was such a funny, warmhearted person.

"Haven't you found a dress yet? The two of you have been here for almost an hour now."

"Are you here to spy for your sister?" I asked him, crossing my arms in front of me.

"Maybe a tiny little bit. Ali wasn't too happy that you insisted on buying the dress without her."

"And now she's sent you to spy on me, hasn't she?"

"She did not send me. I was curious myself, but I'm planning on giving her a few details to calm down her curiosity a bit."

"Benjamin, you don't grasp the concept of surprise, do you?"

"Of course, I do, Ela. When I told my father that I was gay, he was very surprised."

"You are impossible. Would you please remind me, why we haven't kicked you out yet?"

"Kicking me out? You can't do that to me. Don't you know that I could never afford living on my own?"

"Oh, you sure could, if you wouldn't be spending all your money on clothes and contacts."

"My looks are important to me."

"Trust me; one soon to come day having a roof over your head will be way more important to you."

"Why do you want me to move out anyway? It's not like you and my dad would have sex on the kitchen counter if I weren't around."

"Where we have sex and where we don't is so none of your business." She stated, sounding slightly irritated now.

Benjamin chuckled and pulled out his cell to read a new text.

"That's your fiancée. She's asking me about the dress. Got anything, I should tell her?"

"Just tell her that I can't find one and ask how she feels about me wearing my sweatpants during the ceremony."

"I won't do that. She would freak. Jeez, Bella, how difficult can it be to choose a wedding dress?"

He walked around in the shop and grabbed a dress from a hanger.

"Try this one."

I raised one eyebrow.

"But it's red…and shoulder free."

"And you can't show your shoulders why? Do you have any gross scull tattoos that you need to hide or something similar like that?"

I shook my head.

"No, I don't."

"Then, what's your problem? This will look good on you."

He handed me the dress and I closed the curtain behind me, knowing that he wouldn't stop until he'd seen how completely ridiculous I'd look in this one. Angela helped me closing the tiny buttons on the back.

"Am I supposed to be able to breathe?"

"A little bit would be useful. It would probably kill off the romantic atmosphere if you fainted on your way down the aisle."

She turned me around so that I could take a look at myself in the mirror.

"Lovely,"

"Hmm,"

Benjamin stuck his head in again.

"See, I told you that it would look good on you."

"I don't know."

He rolled his eyes at that, and I realized that they were a warm orange color today.

"Maybe it's just the hair. You should wear it up." he mumbled, twisting it around itself until it was a messy knot at the back of my head.

"There we go, much better that way. If I wasn't gay and you weren't in love with my sister, I'd marry you myself, Bella."

"Thanks," I mumbled while I tried to get used to the woman in the mirror in front of me. I still looked bigger than I wanted to be. Hell, I would probably look big in every dress, but the ruby color of this one at least managed to make my pale skin look almost translucent. Ali would love it too because it showed some cleavage. My cheeks felt suddenly a lot warmer when I found myself thinking about her dainty fingertips stroking over the exposed skin on my shoulders. This no-love-making before the wedding was going to be the death of me for sure.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to take the dress? It really looks great on you."

I nodded my head. This was as good as it could get.

"Ali will like it, I think and that's my main goal right now, to make her happy."

Then I turned to Benjamin again, trying to make my voice sound cold as ice.

"And don't you dare to tell her one tiny bit about the dress, are we clear?"

He smirked and shoved his cell back into the pocket of his jeans.

"My lips are sealed."

XXXX

After practically busting my credit card debt for the next…three months or something like that, I left the shop with the dress and Angela offered to store it for me at her house until the wedding.

"Are you planning on telling Renee about things?"

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes for a moment to fight the unpleasant dizziness. It didn't work and so I sat down on the ground to put my head between my knees.

"Are you okay? Jeez, you are as white as a ghost."

"It's nothing, really." I croaked out embarrassedly.

Angela pulled a candy bar out of her handbag and handed it to me.

"Here – eat."

"Ela, I'm not hungry." I stated, cursing myself for the trembling in my voice.

"Maybe she's practicing the whole fainting thing for the future pregnancy? Don't pregnant women always faint?" Benjamin whispered while he tried to check my pulse.

"I don't feel anything. Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"

"Are you sure how to do that properly, Dr. Popescu?"

He laughed, and I realized that he had dimples like a little boy when he did that. I bet he was pretty as a child. Ali was pretty too, like a little pixie although she didn't like the comparison that much. For a split second the picture of the spikey-haired baby appeared in front of my inner eye again. I knew that it was impossible and that send a sharp pain straight through my heart. It wasn't so much my own pain that hurt me but the knowledge how much this whole baby subject hurt Ali. Her pain hurt me way more than my own, so much more. How much I wished that I could help her…

Benjamin helped me up and led me into a café where he and Angela forced me to eat a chicken sandwich.

"I'm not going to fit in my dress." I mumbled with a full mouth.

"Then we'll change the dress. No big deal. It's your well-being that matters and not that of the dress."

Angela sighed and took a sip from the caramel latte in front of her.

"You see, sometimes you say such smart things, Benjamin and I'm really happy that your father has you as a son. You're going to make him proud one day, I'm sure about that."

He cleared his throat nervously.

"Stop talking to me like that. It makes me feel…awkward somehow."

"Kay, won't bring it up again. You know, that I'm not that good at the whole stepmom thing."

"You're doing okay, it's not like I need you to make me hot chocolate with marshmallows or something like that. Just promise me to take care of dad when he gets senile in a few years."

"You better not mention that when he's around and now be a good stepson and give us some privacy."

"You're asking me to leave? Come on, you can't do that, Ela. You know that I don't want to go home while Vlad is still around."

"Fine, you can stay if you want to but we're only going to talk about cramps during our period…,"

"Arg! God, Ela, that's so gross." He made some puking noises and Angela chuckled a bit.

"You should be happy that women get menstrual cramps now and then because otherwise there wouldn't be any hot-assed guys that you could stare after."

"I can't believe that you used the word hot-assed."

"Must be your influence, I guess."

"See, I only bring out the best in you."

"Benjamin getting knowledge about body parts that I won't come near ever again, isn't exactly the best."

"I'll find something better to show you, I promise."

"You don't have to. Just stay the way you are. You're such a funny person. It's a pleasure to be around you when you're not trying to be a pain in the neck."

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and frowned.

"I'm not trying to be an ass. I'm just saying what I'm thinking – always."

"And whether people want to hear it or not," Angela stated reproachfully before she turned to me again.

"Bella, you don't have to answer that but I'm really curious. How are you and Ali planning on having a child together?"

I cleared my throat nervously and emptied the glass of water in front of me in one big gulp.

"I guess, we're going to use an anonymus donor, but I'm not really sure about that. It feels weird to me not to know the…father of the child."

"How does Ali think about that?"

"We've not really talked about it that much. For her it's more difficult anyway…,"

"Why?" Benjamin asked me while he continued playing with the rubber bands around his wrist.

"Because I think that she's pretty upset that she can't have a baby of her own."

"But it's still you who is going to get pregnant, isn't it. For it would be…fatal for her heart condition if Ali…," his voice raised two octaves, sounding almost panicked now.

"Yeah, I'm the one who's going to have the baby. It's not like I have to worry about ruining my figure or something like that."

"You really do have issues about your weight, don't you?"

My cheeks turned into a crimson color, and I tried to hide it quickly behind a curtain of my long hair.

"You're not fat, Bella. And you know that I would tell you if I thought you were."

"Thanks," I croaked out. "Can you just do me a favor and drop the weight topic now?"

He nodded his head and took a bite from my sandwich.

"You weren't going to finish that, were you?"

Angela hit him playfully on the head.

"What? People in other parts of the world are starving, and she was going to throw it away."

"It is okay, Ela. I don't mind."

"Good, cause otherwise it would have been really rude. Well, to come back to the donor thing. I think it's creepy somehow. The guy could be a criminal or a lunatic."

I cringed when I realized that her description pretty much fitted Edward. Not that I would consider _that_ option – ever.

"They could also use someone as a donor that they know, if they preferred that."

I bit my tongue to keep me from telling him that the word 'donor' itself managed to make me feel uncomfortable. What a weird way to form a family.

_Happy families are all alike…_

Benjamin's cell started ringing, and he pulled it out to answer it.

"Hi, Ali. Hmm, yes she's here with me right now and we found her a dress."

"No, I can't tell you anything, I promised her to keep my mouth shut."

"Hmm, oh, that's not fair that you're trying to play out the sister card now."

"Benjamin, give me the cell." I told him and he handed it me over the table.

"Hi, sweetheart it's me."

"Oh, Bella, it's so unfair that you won't let him tell me anything about the dress."

"Ali, you are far too curious about this. You'll have to be a little bit patient and trust me that you'll like it."

"It's your lacking sense of fashion that I don't trust."

"We can't all be fashion freaks like you, my darling. But to tell the truth, Benjamin found me the dress."

"Fine, I'm kind of relieved now."

"Good to hear that. What are you doing right now?"

"I'm trying to keep the dog from eating Lilly's toys and apart from that I'm waiting for you to come home to me again."

[A/N] Reviews are love and they encourage me to write faster, so please press the little button down here if you want to read more :-)


	63. Chapter 63

[Disclaimer] SM owns everything Twilight.

[A/N] thanks to each and every of you who keep reading & reviewing. It's your feedback that keeps me writing this soap…ahm I mean fanfiction.

This chapter is dedicated to **MangekyoMasta510**. No, I won't let Bella develop an eating disorder. She and Ali have already enough 'problems' to deal with. Don't you think?

****Chapter 63****

_Ali's POV_

"You're really serious about marrying the straight girl, aren't you?"

I growled angrily and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"Jasmine, I swear if you don't stop calling Bella, _the straight girl_, I'm going to leave your house this moment."

She grabbed my hand around my wrist and stroked over the rose gold ring on my finger.

"I'll try my best. The ring is pretty by the way." She cleared her throat before she continued.

"And I didn't mean to be rude. It's just…well; she's been with men before you, your shithead of a brother on top of it. Doesn't that disgust you one tiny bit?"

"Maybe she's the one who should be disgusted because I've been with you before." 'I snarled at her.

"That was a low blow and you know it."

I sipped on the coffee in front of me and tried to make my voice sound smooth like honey when I spoke up again.

"The things you keep saying about Bella all the time. They're not exactly compliments, are they?"

"Ali, can't you see that I'm just trying to watch out for you? I need to protect you. She's going to mess things up and both of us know how well you handle getting your heart broken."

"What makes you so damn sure that she's going to mess up? She loves me and I love her."

"And they lived happily ever after – amen."

I rolled my eyes at that and fought the urge to throw something at her, preferably something hard.

"It's not like that." I told her when she turned around to open the kitchen window behind her.

"Then what is it like? Because I just can't see why you want to be with her so badly. Why her and not my? God, you know, how much you mean to me. I'd do anything…,"

"Firstly, yes, I know that you're in love with me."

"Not think; I do love you, Ali."

"Oh come on, Jazz, you've slept with half a dozen women since we broke up."

"That has nothing to do with sex. Unlike you, I know the difference between passion and romance."

"That's what you think." I mumbled so low that it was barely audible.

"Why her?" Jasmine croaked out while she continued rolling her thumb over the edge of her glass. It was an annoying habit and she knew that it got on my nerves

"You wouldn't understand it, Jazz. It's not easy to explain. What I feel for her isn't something that I can put into words that easily."

"Just try." she encouraged me.

"I really need to understand it."

I sighed deeply and took another sip from my coffee.

"When I'm with her, it's like…like she and I are the only people on earth. I can be myself around her, and she truly sees me as if she knows the deepest corner of my soul."

"That still doesn't answer my question, Tinker-Ali."

"See, that's one of the many reasons, why I'm with her. Bella would never call me this ridiculous nickname that my sister made up for me when I was a little kid."

"Sorry, darlin', I just like to see the pissed off expression on your face when I do it, so adorable."

I grabbed the next best thing on the table – it was a fork – and threw it at her.

She chuckled lightly and ducked her head, making the fork crash against the kitchen counter behind her.

"You missed! Jeez, didn't your mother tell you to behave like a lady?"

"Didn't _your_ mother tell you that it's not lady-like to provoke people?"

"Yep, she did. But on the other hand she also suggested that I could marry Peter just to keep the pretty façade for my father. So I don't think following her advises are a good idea."

She put one finger in her mouth and made puking noises.

"The thought of Peter touching me makes me with his sausage fingers, makes me sick."

"Talking about Peter, are you sure that he won't scare Lilly?"

"Trust me, darlin', your little copper-haired niece will be way more scared of her malicious father."

A shiver of fear went down my spine. Things with Edward couldn't get any worse, could they?

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked me worriedly, putting her hand on my forehead.

"You're not sick again, are you?"

"I'm not sick. Well, not more than usual. God, Jazz, I'm so scared of my brother. Edward is going to freak out when he finds out that Bella and I are getting married."

"You don't have to be. I can shoot straight, if I don't have to shoot too far..." she mumbled, putting a wisp of my hair behind my ear. I instantly shrugged back.

"Would you please stop touching me all the time? It makes me feel awkward."

"Maybe awkward is good? You have to admit that you care about me…still."

"Of course, I care about you, Jasmine, I love you. You are my best friend and I need you. I need you to be my best friend, my best friend and nothing more. Please, promise me that you at least try to overcome this…crush, that you have about me, because if you don't…this will mess up things between me and you forever."

"What I feel for you is more than just some crush. You are gorgeous and I don't want to lose you."

"Can't you see that you're this close to doing that?" I snarled at her.

"I need you. I need you in my life, especially since my family treats me like I'm having the plaque or something like that. Carlisle and Esme won't talk to me for the rest of my life."

I felt the tears starting to burn in the corner of my eyes and swallowed hard to keep them from falling. It didn't work.

"Shhh," she whispered, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

"Your parents do love you and everything is going to be fine."

"How can it be fine if my happiness makes them so miserable?" I croaked out and wiped my running nose on the sleeve of my shirt.

"Please, don't do that, Ali. It's gross."

She handed me a tissue in an overly theatrical gesture.

"Here, sweetie, take my handkerchief. Never, at any crisis of your life, have I known you to have handkerchief."

I took the tissue from her and cleaned my noise loudly.

"You've seen that crappy movie far too often, you know?"

"That's just because I love analyzing the characters so much, Ali. Did you know that the relationship between Scarlett and her mother Ella is pretty similar to yours with Esme?"

"I don't think, I understand."

"Look, you put your mother on a pedestal by searching for all the mistakes in yourself because you don't want to admit that your perfect Mary Sue of a mother isn't as perfect as you wish her to be."

"Don't you think that I already know that, Jazz?"

"Knowing something here…," she touched my forehead with her fingertip.

"And knowing something down here…," She mumbled, brushing the skin right above my heart.

"…that's something completely different."

"Your mother loves you. She really does. I know it doesn't feel that way to you right now but she does. And she suffers too, a lot actually. Esme is such a nervous wreck that Dr. Morton had to…"

She stopped midsentence as if she had accidentally told me to something that she shouldn't have.

"If you want to work things out with your parents, you have to convince your mother first. Esme is the heart of your family, while your father is more like the head of it."

"Esme won't listen to me. She's on Edward's side and I can't even blame her for that. He's her real child."

"You're her child too. It doesn't make any difference to her that she's not your biological mother. And she's not on his side. She's, always has been on the side which she thinks is best for the entire family."

XXXX

Shopping with a little child was exhausting, especially since my mind was way too occupied with a lot of other stuff than cereals.

"Auntie Ali?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Can I have one of those for Fido?" she asked me, waving with a box of biscuits in her hands. Her tiny mouth twitched into a crooked smile that made her look too much like Edward for my taste. Jeez, focus, Ali, it's not her fault that she inherited his looks…and mom's hair…or Bella's eyes. The eyes are my favorite part of it of course. Hopefully the baby will have them too.

"Auntie Ali, please."

"Honey, the dog is already too fat. All of us, especially you, have to stop feeding him whenever he begs for it."

"But I need some cookies to teach him a few new tricks."

"Fine, you can buy them. But promise me that you won't give all of it to him in one day."

"I will." She stated cheerfully.

I turned around and almost dropped the carton of milk I was holding in my hands.

"Hello, Ali." she greeted me, putting a wisp of her fire-like hair behind her ear.

"Victoria," I croaked out, cursing myself for the slight trembling in my voice. I didn't want to sound insecure in her presence, didn't want to show her that she still managed to intimidate me in a much too unpleasant way. Vic had been way more than my girlfriend. She was my mentor. The first one to tell me that I was talented, the first one to spend money on something I had made. The first one to convince others to buy clothes from the inexperienced fashion student I had been when we met…

"How's it going? You made some clothes for Didyme Volturi, didn't you?"

I nodded my head, desperately trying to think of a good way to keep this conversation as short as possible.

"Why do you know about it?" I asked her. Damn it; please don't let her know Didyme. That would be awful. But Vic practically knows everyone who is slightly involved with the fashion industry.

"James and I were at the opening of the gallery where she wore it. I'd recognize your style anytime."

"Are you and the woman friends?"

"Kind of, sweetie."

Victoria raised one eyebrow.

"Are you working as a babysitter now? Jeez, you really need to overcome your ridiculous pride and let me open a few doors for you in the business you were born for."

"I don't need or want your help, Vic. And Lilly is my niece. I'm not babysitting as a job."

"Your niece? Oh, I see. Edward's kid, right?"

"Yes, she's his daughter."

I took a few granola bars out of a shelf.

"Are you seeing anyone right now, Ali?" Victoria asked me, licking her lips thoughtlessly.

"That's none of your damn business, Vic."

"Oh come on, don't be like that. I was just curious and also wondering if you were up for a little fun this weekend. James is going to Montreal with Laurent and we'd have the entire house to ourselves."

"You're disgusting me."

"Don't be such a prude."

"Auntie Ali, what's a prude?"

"Nothing that you need to know, Lilly,"

She didn't look content with this answer but to my relief she didn't ask anything more about it.

"We have to go now, bye, Vic."

"Don't be mad at me, Ali. You know that I like you and it's not my fault that you didn't want to accept things the way they are."

"Sharing you with your salaciously boyfr…I mean husband isn't something that I can accept – ever. And you fucking know that, Vic."

"You are a prude and that's such a pity. Thinking about all the fun the three of us could have makes me feel all tingly."

"You know that the child can hear you, don't you? And it doesn't make me a prude that I'm not interested in threesomes."

"Too bad. So, are you dating anyone right now? I hope it's not the curly-head from Texas. Jeez, you were practically still a virgin after the two of you broke up."

"No, it's not Jasmine. She and I are just friends." Or at least I hope we are, I added silently in my head.

"But to answer your question, I'm with someone right now. We're going to get married."

"You want to get married? Really? Who is she?"

"That's none of…,"

"Auntie Ali is marrying my mommy." Lilly explained to her, while she twisted one of her copper-curls around her fingers.

"She made me a dress for it. But I'm not allowed to wear it to school. It's such a pretty dress."

"Hmm, yes your aunt is good at making pretty dresses, isn't she?"

Then she turned to me again.

"You're marrying your sister-in-law? Is this a joke?"

"Ex sister-in-law and it's definitely not a joke."

She chuckled slightly, and I thought about punching her straight into her porcelain face.

"I've told you that it's none of your business!"

"Auntie Ali, are you angry at her?"

"No, I'm not. We're just talking."

"But you yelled at her."

"Sweetie, please, just be quiet now and let me say goodbye to Victoria, will you?"

She nodded her head and started biting her fingernails again. Jeez, we definitely needed to do something about that.

"Good bye, Vic."

"You can't just leave like that. Look, Ali, if this is because you're still hurt."

"I'm not hurt." Not anymore…

"Oh, yes you are. I can see the way you keep looking at me. It still burns inside of you, doesn't it?"

"You don't know a thing about what it looks like inside of me. The way I feel about Bella, I never felt that way about you, Vic…definitely never."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] Puh, both ex-girlfriends in one chapter, I'm really mean to Ali but I hope I managed to show the difference between her prior relationships and the one she has now with Bella.

We're getting closer to the wedding special. (That's chapter 65, in case you wanted to know.) Leave me some love and press the review button. It really means a lot to me.


	64. Chapter 64

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. I'm so happy that some of you seem to enjoy reading my little story here. It's because of you that I'm still here, writing it. So thanks a lot.

This chapter is dedicated to **secrets87**. Yes, the vacation was wonderful, thank you. I'm so happy that you like my story so much. Your support means a lot to me.

****Chapter 64****

I poured some massage oil on her shoulders and started rubbing it into her velvety skin.

"You're tensed today." I whispered, leaning over to plant a soft kiss underneath her hairline.

"Kind of…,"

"Are you going to tell me what's on your mind right now? You've been so quiet the entire evening."

I massaged her neck, feeling her muscles relax under my touch.

"Please, don't stop." she murmured tiredly.

"I won't. Don't worry. But I need to know if you're okay. You are so quiet and sad all the time."

"I'm not sad. Just been thinking about a lot of things."

"And you don't want to talk about it, do you?

She nodded her head.

"But you know that you can tell me everything don't you? I'm here for you, if you need me."

Slowly she turned her head und nudged her full lips against my mouth so lightly that their warm skin was barely touching mine.

"My parents are going to hate me for the rest of my life." She croaked out, her voice trembling from the tears she was trying to hold back.

A sharp pain went through me, so strong that it knocked the breath out of me.

"I know, honey, and I can't tell you how sorry I'm about that. It's completely my fault that they're so mad at you."

I stroked down her cheekbone with my fingertips and put a wisp of her spikey hair behind her ear.

"You're wrong." she whispered after a few awkward moments of silence.

"Oh yes, it is."

"No, it's not your fault. Stop saying that."

She cleared her throat before she continued.

"Isn't that weird? My parents have lied to me for my entire life and still…,"

Her crystal voice cracked midsentence, when a few traitorous tears escaped the corner of her eyes.

"But you still want them to love you, don't you? I know how much it hurts you and I wished so much that I could manage to make them see that you're not the one who's responsible for all the awful things that happened."

I pulled her on my lap and started rocking her back and forth until she finally stopped trembling in my arms.

"Promise me, that you'll never leave me." she whispered into my ear, and I cringed when I recognized the fear in her question. Almost automatically I nodded my head.

"I would never leave. No, I could never leave you, Ali. For you are my whole world now and I can't imagine just being one single day apart from you."

I made a mental note to myself to have another talk with Carlisle and Esme about the way they kept treating their youngest daughter.

Tenderly I planted a kiss on her hair that was still a little damp from the shower she had taken earlier. Jeez, what would I give to shower with her…

"How do you like blue for the bridesmaids?"

"Hmm,"

"Rosie suggested pink, but that looks horrible with Lilly's hair and Jasmine hates the color too."

"I'm fine with blue. And I can't believe that you invited Jasmine to our wedding. She's probably trying to hijack you or something like that."

Ali shook her head.

"No, she won't – at least she promised me not to, and I promised her not to force her into something Barbie-colored for the ceremony."

"You know that I don't trust her one tiny bit. She's still trying to steal you away from me."

"You can't steal someone away from anyone that doesn't want to be stolen away."

"Probably. I think, Zafrina told me something like that too, when I talked to her about it."

"You're discussing your jealousy issues with Zafrina?"

"I didn't mean to, but she's pretty observant."

"Hmm, yes I know. That's something that she has in common with Jazz."

"Too bad, they don't have more in common. I'd be glad if they ended up together. It would help your ex to overcome this possessiveness she has about you"

"You want them to be together? Like seriously? You must know that I'm a pro at pairing off people!"

I raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"Are you sure that you're a pro at that? Because it didn't seem to work out the last time you tried."

"Oh, it did, exactly like I planned it to be."

"Getting them drunk so that they had sex together that made them both feel embarrassed the morning after, doesn't seem like such a great success to me."

"I'm pretty sure Zafrina wouldn't have said no to it, even if she had been sober."

"Maybe yes, maybe no…it's hard to tell what's going on in her. She's so good at controlling her emotions."

"Must be something that comes with her profession, I guess."

"Hmm,"

I started kneading the muscles in her shoulders again.

"You haven't told me about your wedding dress yet." I mumbled, letting my right hand move lower until I reached the small metal clasp of her bra.

"And I won't, because you instructed my brother not to tell me anything about yours."

"It's kind of cute how the two of you start referring as brother and sister to each other."

"Yeah, I'm happy about that too. I didn't think that it would feel that way, but it does. I really wished my father would have told be about him earlier…or about Sasha. There's so much that I would have loved to ask her and now I can't…ever."

"I'm sorry about that, Ali."

"Please, Bella, stop telling me you're sorry about things that aren't your fault at all."

I kissed the tip of her nose and sighed deeply.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"I don't think that's possible, Ali. You're everything to me and I'm going to do anything, really anything to make you happy."

XXXX

Esme's, emerald green eyes, that had completely the same shade like Edward's, looked all puffy and red, when she opened the door for me.

"Bella?"

"Hi, Esme. Yeah, it's me. Surprise!"

"What are you doing here?"

I cleared my throat before I spoke up, trying to make my voice sound friendly and warm although I felt more like yelling at her.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course, you can. Do you want to eat or drink something?"

"I'm not hungry, thank you. But coffee would be nice."

I followed her into the kitchen that smelled deliciously of apples and cinnamon. I raised one eyebrow in confusion when I recognized that she was stirring some mustard into the dough.

"That's for Rosalie." she explained.

"The girl is craving that stuff so much right now, and I thought she would like it if I put some of it in her muffins."

She poured me a cup of coffee, and I sipped on it after adding some sugar and milk.

"I'm here to talk to you about Ali." I started. There was no use for making some small talk first. I sure didn't have the nerves for it right now.

Esme nodded her head and sighed.

"I thought so, but I can't understand why."

"Seriously, are you blind or something like that?"

So far for staying calm and friendly…

"She's completely miserable because of the way you and Carlisle keep treating her."

Esme started biting her fingernails nervously.

"Look, Bella, I'm really sorry about that but I don't know what to do. I miss her so much but…but how can she do something so completely selfish? Mary Alice isn't thinking one tiny bit about what's best for this family."

I took a deep breath through my nose and closed my hands into fists to suppress the angry shaking in them.

"Ali is not selfish, not at all. You can't call her selfish for wanting to be happy with someone she loves."

"How can she be happy in this unnatural, sinful…,"

"It's only unnatural and all this stuff in your eyes because you want it to be that. If you'd really loved Ali…,"

"How dare you assume that I don't love her, if you knew how much...," she croaked out hoarsely.

Then she pulled some pills out of her handbag and swallowed them with a glass of water.

"Is my presence giving you a headache?"

"Kind off…"

She starred out of the window for a moment while her eyes turned into glassy moss.

"Mary Alice was so tiny. I could hold her little head in the palm of my hand. She was so sick when her mo.., I mean when Sasha brought her into our house. Carlisle was so worried that she wouldn't even survive the first year of her life."

She pulled out a tissue and wiped some of her ruined makeup from her cheek. Yeah, I know exactly where Rosalie got her vanity from. Damn it, Bella, try to focus.

"I didn't want to keep her. She was so sick and there were Edward and Rosalie. How should I explain the sudden presence of an infant in our house? And the fact that my husband had cheated on me with some random chick, made me so…not really angry but sad and incredibly disappointed somehow."

"Hmm,"

"If I had asked my husband to shove her off into an orphanage, he would have done it. He would have done anything for me, just to make sure that I didn't divorce him."

She sniffed and pulled out another tissue to clean her nose.

"But when I held her in my arms for the first time, she wrapped her little hand around my finger…and I couldn't, I couldn't not love her and now everything is so messed up."

She returned to the kitchen table, her hands still trembling when she put the dough into the cake pan.

"Rosalie is angry at me too because I'm calling her too often to complain about her siblings. She thinks that I'm not interested enough in her or the babies, but that's not true. I just have no one else to turn to. Carlisle won't listen to me…well, when he's around at all. He practically lives in the hospital right now."

A low whimper left her throat when she tried to suppress more tears.

"God, I just want everything to be normal again, like it used to be."

"Normal like it used to be? Esme, I'm sorry to destroy your illusions but your family was never normal. Carlisle and you, the two of you lied to Ali for her entire life. More so, you made your children lie for you too. Normal parents don't do that. And you keep blaming Ali for everything that happened although if you look deep into yourself you'd have to admit that none of it is her fault."

I emptied my cup of coffee in one gulp and stood up from my chair.

"I assume that Rosalie has told you about the wedding?"

"Yes, she has and I can't believe that she and Emmett agreed to come to this unspeakable…,"

"Don't you dare to finish that sentence, Esme. Look, I could care less whether you and Carlisle come to the ceremony or not. You're not my parents. It doesn't change one tiny bit for me if you come or not. But it means way more to Ali than she wants to admit to herself."

"She can't expect us to watch her marry her sister-in-law. This is so…wrong, wrong in so many ways that I don't have words for it. What the two of you are doing is a sin."

"No, it's not. See, she and I aren't getting married to piss you off or anything. We love each other, we really do and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Can't you for just one moment forget about what you want and think about what she needs?"

"I want only the best for her and she knows that. Why do you think I paid for her fashion school behind Carlisle's back?"

"You say, you love her but you don't care a thing about her happiness."

"That's not true, Bella. I do love her."

"Whatever. I have to go now. This conversation is exhausting me."

"Please, you can't just leave now. Not like that."

"Trust me, Esme, I can and I will. But do me the favor and consider coming to the ceremony, not for me but for Ali. It'd mean so much too her."

I tasted tears on my lips and realized that I had started crying too.

"I love her and I'm going to do everything I can do to make her happy, for she deserves to be happy more than any other person on earth."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Next chapter will be the wedding special. Are you excited about that? I'm sooo nervous about it, I can't tell you. Until then, take care and leave me some reviews. I love them…not as much as Bella loves Ali but maybe as much as Bella loves chocolate *smile*


	65. Chapter 65

[Disclaimer] I don't own the copyright of the Twilight Saga or any other famous book.

[A/N] hides behind her laptop. God, I'm so terribly nervous about this chapter, I don't think I've slept at all this week, writing and rewriting it while I tried not to cry too much at certain parts of it.

(Should I give you a tissue warning? Well, I guess you'll find out yourself, if you need one.)

See you at the bottom.

****Chapter 65****

My second wedding was going to be so different from my first one that sometimes I had trouble to remind myself that it still was the same thing. Or it wasn't.

This was not about what people expected me to do. It wasn't about what Renee wanted or what was best for someone else that I cared for like Lilly.

This wedding, might it be officially legal or not, was just for me and Ali. I instantly pulled her closer to me, letting my lips brush gently over the spikey curls of her hair. She turned her head, and I planted a soft kiss on her sweet mouth.

"Are you sure that you want to do this? Because we don't have to if you don't." she whispered against my lips. I cupped her face between my hands and stroked down her cheekbones with trembling fingertips.

"Of course, I want to do it. God, I can't wait to be married to you, sweetheart."

"I just want to see you happy, Bella. Look, if you're having second thoughts about the wedding…,"

I put one finger on her mouth to silence her.

"Definitely not, but I'm nervous kind of."

"Don't have to be. Have you forgotten that it's just me?"

"Just you," I mumbled my voice so low that I wasn't sure if she was able to hear me speak at all.

"Just you; is all I'm going to need for the rest of my entire life."

She kissed my mouth, and I felt a pleasant shiver running down my spine when the tip of her tongue slipped between my lips. Tenderly she nudged it against my tongue, making me feel as if every single cell in my body had been set on an invisible fire.

"I can't believe that you really want Jasmine to come to the wedding. Have you forgotten that this woman hates me?"

"Have you forgotten that she's still my best friend?"

I stood up from the couch and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"I don't trust her."

"But I do. Please, Bella, you don't have to be jealous. It's you that I want and not her."

I nodded my head and forced my lips into a faked smile that would probably look more like a grimace.

"You don't know how it's like to be jealous, Ali."

"Oh, yes, I do and I think it's an awful feeling. I never want to...well, just forget it. It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is the ceremony tomorrow."

"You're right, Ali." I whispered into her ear before I grazed its shell with my teeth.

"I think that it wasn't such a good idea not to touch each other until after…,"

I caressed the small stripe of bare skin on her flat stomach, feeling her shiver under my touch. Then she pulled back and sighed.

"I think it's a great idea and tomorrow night you'll find out why."

"Is that a promise?"

"Hmm, kind of,"

She kissed the tip of my nose and chuckled slightly.

"You're impatient, aren't you?" she asked me, stroking up and down my spine with her fingertips.

"And you're a tease."

"Teasing is good." she mumbled, twisting a wisp of my chestnut hair around her dainty fingers to pull me closer to her again.

"I like teasing you a lot."

"Evil, little pixie, I'm so happy that you're mine."

"I'm happy that you're mine, Bella."

I kissed her mouth and sucked her upper lip between my teeth to nibble on it.

"Aren't we supposed to spend the night before the wedding apart from each other?" she whispered hoarsely when I pulled back to gasp for air.

I nodded my head.

"We are supposed to get drunk and see some strippers or something like that."

"Firstly, I can't really drink because of my medication and secondly…I'm not really interested in watching some fake boobs."

She kissed the tip of my nose before she rested her head against my shoulder.

"I don't feel like going out."

"Me too, there are so many lovely things that we could do here right now."

Warmth spread through my entire body as I moved my hand under her shirt. God, how much I wanted her.

The doorbell rang and she jumped from the couch to open it. Jeez, she was really going to make me wait until tomorrow night, was she?

"Surprise!" Benjamin greeted us cheerfully while Angela behind him waved with a bottle of champagne.

I hugged Ali tightly from behind and planted a kiss on her shoulder.

"What are you doing here?"

"Selling cookies for the boy scouts, what else? Your Barbie sister suggested that we could…,"

"I fucking told you not to call me Barbie." Rose snarled at him before she leaned forward to kiss her pixie-like sister on the cheek.

"I can't believe, you're really getting married, Tinker-Ali."

"Rose, you know how much I hate it when you use that ridiculous name for me."

"She knows." Benjamin stated while he placed the bottle of champagne on the table in the living room.

"Rose, where is Lilly? Weren't you supposed to watch her tonight?"

"I left her with Emmett. That's okay, isn't it? Not much he can do wrong. I ordered pizza for them and now she's forcing him to re-watch that mermaid movie again."

Ali cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up.

"Look, it's really nice that you guys came over but Bella and I…,"

"Would love to be alone, wouldn't you? No chance. We are all going to get drunk and warm up old bed stories and tomorrow morning I'll make pancakes for us."

"Pancakes are good…especially with mustard, so delicious."

"Mustard? You're really weird, Barbie, but I don't mind as long as you give me some details about the way your husband looks like without his shirt on. And I want you to speak very, very slowly when you do that."

Rosalie snarled and sipped on the glass of orange juice in front of her.

"You know that my husband isn't gay, do you?"

Benjamin rolled his eyes and frowned.

"Thank you, Barbie. I'm aware of that."

"Just ignore him, Rose. He's not that good at respecting other people's privacy." Angela stated while she opened the bottle of champagne.

"But it's not his fault. My husband's entire family is like that. All of them are sticking their noses into things that aren't their business at all. I'm really happy that Vlad is off to Romania now."

"Me too," Benjamin mumbled, taking a glass filled with the sparkling champagne.

Angela grabbed her hand around it and made him put it back on the table again.

"You know that you're too young to drink, don't you?"

"You know that you're too young to act like a mom?"

She rolled her eyes at that and sipped on her own glass after touching it against mine.

"Dad wouldn't mind."

"Too bad your father isn't here right now."

Ali giggled and sat down on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her delicate waist and pulled her closer.

"Why are you laughing?" I whispered into her ear, twisting one of her curls around my fingers.

Instead of answering me, she turned to her brother.

"You're making Ela look like the bad parent."

"Guess, that'll be my part in the future." Rosalie mumbled nibbling on a candy bar that she had dipped into the inevitable mustard.

"Because sure as hell Em will say yes and amen to everything; he has a little trouble saying no to people that he loves."

"Good to know."

Benjamin smirked while he poured himself a glass of coke.

"In most cases the mother is the bad parent." I stated, playing with the spikey ends of Ali's hair.

"And how is that going to be when the two of you have kids together?" Angela asked me curiously.

"Technically your child is going to have two moms."

I felt Ali stiffen next to me and started rubbing her back to calm her down. The baby subject was difficult for her. It was difficult for both of us, but I knew that we would manage to make it through all the obstacles.

"Maybe we'll both be the bad parent or we change from day to day. Lilly insists that we're both mean when it comes to forcing her eat broccoli and stuff like that. So who knows? We'll deal with that when the time comes."

Rosalie placed her right hand on her stomach and mumbled something that was too low for me to understand it. Maybe she was just talking to the twins. I remembered doing that too when I was pregnant with Lilly.

"Are the babies' boys or girls?" Benjamin asked her while he tried to keep the dog from eating the chips on his plate.

"We're going to wait until the birth to find out about the sex."

"Aren't you curious?"

"Yes, of course, but I want it to be a surprise and…,"

"Did you know that the way you do it influences the sex of the baby?"

"What? Who told you that?"

"One of your stupid magazines, Ela,"

A grin flashed over his face when he turned to Rosalie again.

"So tell me, Barbie, how did you and your husband…,"

"Finish that sentence and I'm going to kick you where it really hurts; if we and how we do it isn't your damn business at all."

Benjamin chuckled and dipped a cracker into the jar of mustard before he handed it to her.

"Sorry, Barbie, I know he's all yours. I just like to tease you. It's so funny to make you angry."

"Hmm, whatever makes your boring life more fun, kid…and just for the record; it doesn't matter how we're having sex…the babies…well it was invitro fertilization."

"Isn't that when they put the egg out and shake it with…,"

"Yeah, kind of like that. They extract the eggs and put them back directly into the uterus after they've been fertilized."

"I've read about a case where they put the wrong egg into the wrong womb or however you put it and then the two…_parents_ fought for custody over years."

"You're reading too much magazines. Something like that is so…unrealistic. The only cases when they implant the eggs into a woman that is not the biological mother is when the parents use a surrogate mother to carry out the child."

**XXXX**

I didn't sleep well that night, tossing and turning around for hours because Rosalie's mentioning of the surrogate mother kept me awake without me being able to tell why it did that. My own thoughts didn't make any sense to me at all. They were weird…too crazy, too strange.

The baby…Ali's baby…growing inside of me, for it couldn't in her…so weird, so crazy…so impossible. And when I finally managed to fall asleep I dreamed of a pair of caramel eyes in a tiny face starring back at me…

As the first rays of the orange colored morning sun warmed my face, I groaned and pulled a pillow over my head.

"Morning, gorgeous." she whispered against my lips before she planted a soft kiss on them.

"Did you sleep at all? You look terribly tired."

"Don't worry; I can sleep while Ela does my makeup and hair."

The door opened and Benjamin stuck his head in.

"Aren't you already up? Jeez, girls, we've got plenty, plenty to do. Bella, you're coming with me and Ela to our house to get dressed and…," he put one finger under my chin.

"We need to do something against the dark circles under your eyes."

I stood up from the bed and twisted my hair into a messy ponytail.

"You're a pro at making a woman feel beautiful, aren't you?"

"I'll be a pro at whatever you want me to be, Bella, as long as you move your ass down the stairs now."

He turned to Ali who still had her arms wrapped around my middle, unable to let go of me.

"You'll get her back when I'm ready with her."

I planted a soft kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Bye, honey. I'll see you later…if I survive what kind of torture Benjamin has planned for me."

"Don't worry; he knows that he better brings you back to me without any damage."

"Hmm,"

She kissed my mouth, sending pleasant shivers down my spine when the tip of her tongue nudged against my lower lip.

"Enough." Benjamin stated and pulled me away from a protesting Ali.

"We didn't even have time to say goodbye."

"The two of you have time enough for that later."

I followed Benjamin down the stairs, carefully making sure not to trip over one of Fido's toys on the stairs. It would be too embarrassing if we had to cancel the ceremony because of my clumsiness.

Downstairs Rosalie was arguing with someone on the phone while she sipped on a cup of tea that she was holding in her other hand.

"You know what? Do what you think is right, but don't come running to me afterwards when she cries and you can't handle that."

"Hmm…yeah, I love you too, bye."

She disconnected the call and stuffed the cell back into her handbag.

"Is everything okay?" I asked her worriedly.

"What? Ahm, yes of course, Bella. Everything is fine. Don't worry."

Her voice didn't sound convinced at all to me but Benjamin didn't give me any time to discuss things with her. So, I just hoped that everything was going to be alright; for I didn't think that my nerves were strong enough to deal with anything bad today.

XXXX

The woman in the mirror looked exactly like me and she looked so little like me that I had to pinch my left cheek to make sure we were both the same person.

"Do you think that she's going to like it?" I asked Angela while she continued putting dozens of pins into my hair to fix the red lily blossoms in it.

"No, she won't." she stated calmly.

"What?"

My voice raised two octaves, reaching an embarrassedly shrill frequency.

"Bella, she's going to love it. I'm pretty sure about that. Stop worrying, everything is going to be fine."

I sighed in relief, trying to calm myself down a little by taking several deep breaths.

"Is your father here yet?"

She nodded her head and frowned.

"He's talking to Benjamin in the hall. Seems like both of them are playing on team grandchild now…or team little brother…however you put it."

"At least they get along."

"Oh, they always did. It's Stefan whom my father dislikes and you know why."

"Thanks for doing that for me, Ela. It was so nice of you to ask your father to hold the ceremony for me and Ali."

"No biggie. Oh, before I forget it. There is someone waiting outside that insists on seeing you before we get started."

"It's not Renee, is it? Jeez, I don't need another of her speeches right now. It's bad enough that she cried when Rosalie picked her up from the airport."

"No, it's not your mom. Don't worry. Renee is far too busy warming up old stories with my mother."

The door opened and as soon as I saw the honey blonde curls of Jasmine's head my face turned into a frown.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" she asked me nervously.

Angela cleared her throat.

"I'll give the two of you some privacy now. Whatever you do, try not to destroy her hair. I worked so hard on it."

She closed the door behind her and I sighed deeply.

"I don't know why you're here, Jasmine."

"Isn't that obvious? I'm here because I love Ali."

"Jasmine, I swear, if you're here to ruin the wedding…,"

She shook her head and twisted one of her curls around her fingers.

"No, I'm not, but I'm here to remind you that you better not mess this up, Bella, because if you do, I'll kill you. I'll kill you and bury your body somewhere on my father's land where sure as hell no one is going to look for your corpse."

An evil smile flashed over her face when she realized the horrified expression on my face.

"But I don't think that you will mess up. You wouldn't be here right now, if you didn't love Ali."

"Hmm,"

"And now you just have to do what you're supposed to do."

"And that is what?"

She walked over to the window and gazed out of it for a moment before she turned to me again.

"Well, at first you have to walk down the stairs out there and marry the woman of our dreams…because stubborn as she is and unfortunately for me…you're the one that she wants to get married to."

"I love her."

"I know. I love her too."

I know, I thought but I couldn't manage to speak the words out loud.

XXXX

I had no eyes for the beautiful decoration of red and white lilies that were hanging everywhere around the room, filling the air with their intoxicating scent. I barely noticed the people sitting in front of the wedding arch.

All I could focus on were her beautiful caramel eyes that were sparkling in every possible shade of amber while a single tear rolled down her cheekbone. She was perfect…and she was to be mine for the rest of my life. I almost couldn't believe that destiny could be so kind to me.

Slowly I raised my hand and wiped the liquid pearl on her cheek away with my fingertip, noticing that my hands were trembling slightly.

She nodded her head, a small gesture that showed me that she was just as nervous about this as I was.

Angela's father cleared his throat before he spoke up. His voice sounding warm and melodically, giving each word he spoke an even deeper meaning.

"We've come here today to celebrate god's amazing gift of love. For every kind of love is nothing but god's miracle that he does to us and we should be grateful that he blesses our hearts and souls with his gift."

I swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears although I wasn't sure if I would manage it. Had they used waterproof mascara for my makeup? I really hoped they had, for I would probably look like a little panda bear after the ceremony, if they didn't.

Ali took my hand in hers and squeezed it for a moment while I tried to concentrate on Angela's father's speech again that started now on the verse we had chosen for him to read out before he wed us.

"Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your god my god. Where you die, I will die…there will I be buried. May the lord do thus and so to me, and more as well, if even death parts me from you."

So far for holding back the tears...

He told us to stand up, and I desperately hoped that my shaking knees wouldn't buckle underneath me. Why on earth did I agree to wear heels?

I made a worried look in Jasmine's direction when he asked the question about speaking now or forever holding peace but her face remained a calm mask as she sat next to Zafrina on the bench.

Ali placed her hand in mine and it felt as if I was holding the whole world in in when I closed my fingers around her dainty knuckles.

"So, if the two of you are willing to join each other in matrimony, repeat after me."

"I, Mary Alice Cullen,

"_I, Mary Alice Cullen…"_

"…take you, Isabella Marie Swan,"

"…_take you, Isabella Marie Swan,"_

"…to be my wife."

"…_to be my wife."_

"I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad time,"

"_I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad time,"_

"In sickness and in health,"

"_In sickness and in health,"_

"I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

"_I will love and honor you all the days of my life."_

"Take this ring from me as a symbol of my feelings and a token of my love."

"_Take this ring from me as a symbol of my feelings and a token of my love."_

Her lips turned into a bright smile when she slipped the ring on my trembling hand. And I knew that she truly meant every single word she had spoken right now.

When it was my turn to speak I was afraid that I wouldn't manage to bring out one single word but then Ali's eyes met mine again and somehow the words magically like came over my lips.

"I, Isabella Marie Swan,"

"_I, Isabella Marie Swan,"_

"…take you, Mary Alice Cullen,"

"…_take you, Mary Alice Cullen,"_

"…to be my wife."

"…_to be my wife."_

"I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad time,"

"_I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad time,"_

"In sickness and in health,"

"_In sickness and in health,"_

"I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

"_I will love and honor you all the days of my life."_

"Take this ring from me as a symbol of my feelings and a token of my love."

"_Take this ring from me as a symbol of my feelings and a token of my love."_

I placed the ring on her delicate finger, hoping that it would stay there for the rest of our lives.

When I leaned down to kiss her ruby tinted lips I hesitated for a moment. Or maybe hesitating wasn't the right word. It was more like I was trying to cherish every split second of this forever.

A heartbeat later her mouth was on mine and the world around me disappeared completely. The tip of her tongue nudged against mine and I moaned into the sweetness of her mouth when she started swirling her tongue over the sensitive skin on my bottom lip.

Someone pulled on my dress but it took me a while until I finally managed to pull back.

"Mommy! Oh, mommy, your dress is so pretty."

I lifted her up and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Thanks, sweetie, yours is pretty too."

"Auntie Ali made it for me but she said I can't wear it to school."

"Hmm,"

I twisted a wisp of her copper hair that now framed her face in chin-length curls around my finger.

"Honey, what did you do to your hair?"

"Don't ask." Rosalie mumbled before she wrapped her arms around her sister's neck.

"I'm so happy for you, Ali, much more than words could ever say."

She planted a kiss on each of her cheeks and rubbed the mark of lipstick she left on them away with her fingertips.

Emmett knocked the breath out of me when he put his arms around me in a bear-like grip.

"Congrats, Bella…and, oh, I really like that dress on you. It makes your boobs look good."

I blushed and that made him chuckle sheepishly.

"See, Rosie, I told you at least one of them was going to be a blushing bride."

XXXX

"So this is what you wanted Isabella?" Renee asked me skeptically when she planted a kiss on my forehead. I nodded my head and squeezed Ali's hand.

"Grandma Renee, can I sit with you when we eat?"

"Of course, you can, sweetie but please stop calling me grandma all the time. It makes me feel old."

"Don't you want to be my grandma?"

"No, sweetie, but…,"

"Ali! Bella! This is so wonderful!" Maria called out before she lavished us with a bunch of Spanish blessings that I didn't really understand. Whatever it was it sounded nice and Maria seemed to be in an excellent mood despite the presence of her unloved ex.

Angela hugged me, while her husband searched for something in his pockets. He pulled out a tiny black box and cleared his throat nervously before he spoke up.

"This was your mother's."

"Thanks," she croaked out, when she turned the silver bracelet around in her hand.

"You look lovely. Your mother would have been proud of you today."

"I am proud of her."

"Mom!"

Ali wrapped her arms around Esme's neck and started sobbing uncontrollable against her mother's shoulder.

"Oh Mom!"

"Shhh, sweetie, please stop crying. You're going to ruin all your makeup."

She sniffed and pulled back. I handed her a tissue and put one arm around her quivering shoulder.

"The dress is pretty, Bella."

"Thanks, and thank you for coming today; it really means a lot to Ali…ahm, I mean to us."

"I know…,"

Carlisle entered the room and for a moment I was afraid that he was here to ruin everything.

Then I realized how horrible he looked, like he hadn't eaten or slept in days.

"Dad? Oh god, I can't believe that you…,"

"Hmm, me too, Mary Alice, but your mother and your sister, well, you sure know how they are when they work together. They have no shame at all…,"

He cleared his throat and leaned forward to plant a kiss on Ali's tear-covered face.

"Mary Alice, I really hope you'll be happy."

"Thanks, dad."

"You look beautiful. I can't believe you managed to make that dress all on your own. Seems like not everything they told you in that school in Paris was completely useless."

XXXX

"Isabella, why did you allow Lilly to cut off her pretty hair?" Renee asked me while she sipped on the black coffee in front of her. She didn't eat any cake. Of course, she didn't. My mother was the kind of person who never eats candy. Was life worth living without any sugar at all?

"Isabella?"

"What? Oh, I didn't…Lilly, what happened with your hair?"

Emmett starred down on his plate and mumbled so low that his voice was barely audible.

"We kind of had a little accident this morning."

"You had what?"

"Hmm, she wanted to straighten her hair for the wedding and she told me that she knew exactly how to use this…how's that crappy thing called again?"

"I can't believe you let a five year old child handle something like that on her own. She could have hurt herself…burned her skin and not only her hair."

"But, Rose, she told me that…,"

"And if she told you that she could fly would you let her jump out of the window? God, I'm going to raise my children with a mentally twelve year old."

She hit him playfully on the head and put a wisp of Lilly's curls between her swollen fingers.

"Don't worry, honey, it'll grow back soon."

"Oh, I don't want it to. I really like my new haircut." She stated cheerfully.

Renee shook her head.

"It makes your face too round, sweetie."

"Hmm," she mumbled, licking off a bit of the chocolate frosting from her spoon.

"Isabella, you shouldn't allow her to eat candy all the time or she's going to get as chubby as you were as a child."

I made my hand a fist under the table.

"Mother, Lilly is not overweight. She's just tall for her age."

"I know, Isabella, but she'll be if you don't…,"

"Mother, we're not going to have this conversation again."

"Renee, did you know that skinny women are supposed to get wrinkles much earlier than curvier ones?" Ali asked her while she started rubbing small circles over my wrist.

"That's not true."

"She's actually right. Most of the women my colleagues do facelifts on are rather thin." Carlisle stated.

Renee cringed and pulled a tiny mirror out of her handbag to check her reflection. I suppressed a giggle and planted a soft kiss on Ali's lips.

"Thanks," I whispered so low that no one apart from her would be able to hear me.

"Grandpa, can I drink some coffee too?"

"Don't you think that you're a little too young for that, honey?"

"No, I'm not. You drink coffee all the time and I want to try some too."

"Sweetie, coffee is not that good. See, I've had terrible heartburn from that stuff."

"Heartburn? I have some of Stefan's heartburn pills in my handbag." Angela told him and pulled out a tablet tube.

Carlisle's mouth twitched for a moment when he read the name on the backside.

"You can have one, if you need it."

"Hmm,"

"Carlisle?"

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"Do you want to take one of them for your heartburn?"

"These aren't…well, I don't need anything right now, thank you, Ela."

She shoved the pills back into her handbag and emptied the glass of champagne in front of her.

Ali stood up from her chair and pulled me with her.

"Your dress is really beautiful, Bella. Remind me to thank my brother for finding it for you."

"I will,"

"So pretty…but I guess, it's going to look fantastic on the floor in our hotel room too."

"Do you want us to leave?"

"Don't you?"

"Can't wait to, I just want to dance with you again before we go."

"You hate dancing."

"Yes, I do because I suck at it…but my beautiful wife kind of likes it a big deal."

"Hmm, yes she does. Oh, Bella, that was actually the first time you called me your wife. I can't tell you how happy that makes me."

She stood up on her toes to kiss my mouth again while she slowly started rocking her hips against mine.

"Say it again."

"My wife…my sweet, beautiful wife, how much I love you."

"I love you too."

I kissed her velvety lips, letting the tip of my tongue caress the inside of her mouth.

For a moment the world around me vanished into warm shades of orange lights before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I pulled back to blink into Zafrina's ebony face.

"Can I cut in?"

"If you want to…but Ali here can tell you that I'm the worst dancer under the sun."

She chuckled slightly.

"It's all in the lead." she stated, swirling me around in a graceful move. And she was actually right. Dancing with her was easy, so easy that I almost forget about my fear about stepping on her feet.

I got a glimpse of Jasmine who was holding my pixie-like wife in her arms. Ali laughed at something she told her and I automatically stiffened.

"Try to relax, Bella. She's not going to steal your bride away from you."

"She might try to."

"Get a grip on that jealousy of yours. Jasmine is working so hard to keep up a happy face for Ali."

"Hmm,"

"And she looks lovely in that blue dress, doesn't she? It makes her eyes look like cornflowers."

"You kind of like her, don't you?"

"Maybe a little bit, but I'm determined on not kissing her tonight. That just wouldn't be right."

"Because she's still in love with Ali,"

"She needs to overcome that…fascination first. And until that, I won't kiss her, although she needs kissing badly. That's what wrong with her. She should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how."

XXXX

Her sweet mouth was on mine as soon as I closed the door of the hotel suite behind us. She gasped for air and I used the opportunity to slip my tongue between her slightly parted lips. Gently I nudged my tongue against hers and caressed the inside of her mouth as if I had never tasted its sweetness before.

Slowly we moved over to the huge bed on the other side of the room, trying not to fall over the crinoline of my long dress.

I fumbled at the tiny buttons on my back but Ali stopped me.

"Don't…,"

She reached her hand out and stroked over the exposed skin on my cleavage with her fingertips.

"So soft," she whispered hoarsely before she stood up on her toes to bury her face against the warm flesh.

Something similar to an electric current went through my body when she moved her tongue up and down between my breasts.

"You have no idea what that dress does makes me want to do, but I can show you."

A smile flashed over her face before she kneeled down and disappeared under the crinoline of my wedding dress.

Her hands stroked up my thighs painfully slowly until she reached the thin lace of my panties. Finally two of her fingers slipped underneath the already damp fabric. Somehow my hands found hold on the wall behind us, for it seemed difficult for me to remain standing upright without any support.

It had been so long since she had touched me like that for the last time and so my entire body was extremely sensitive to each of her caresses. She pulled my underwear down and when I felt the tip of her velvety tongue against the throbbing pearl of my clit I shattered into tiny pieces, like countless flashes of light while I felt as if the waves of my climax wouldn't stop.

I lifted my dress up and pulled her into my arms, tasting myself on her lips when I kissed her gorgeous mouth again.

"My wonderful, seductive wife, how much I love you." I mumbled against her trembling mouth when I finally managed to pull back again.

I turned her around and sucked the sweat covered skin on her collarbone between my teeth. Not caring if I would leave a mark on her pearly colored flesh. God, I wanted to mark her.

My fingers unbuttoned the dozens of pearls on her back, while I planted soft kisses on each inch of exposed skin in front of me. After a few moments it fell down her slim legs, leaving her in nothing but a white satin corset.

"Beautiful…so incredibly beautiful," I whispered as I cupped her perky breasts in my hands and started massaging them gently. Her nipples hardened under my touch and a low moan escaped her throat when I rolled them between my thumb and my forefinger.

"More than words can say…I love you way more than words could ever say." she mumbled while she opened my dress in quick and skilled movements, making it fall down on the ground next to us where the ruby of mine and the ivory of hers formed a small pile of satin and lace.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her on top of me on the bed. When I had settled her above me I dart out my tongue to lick up the tiny drops of sweat that were running down her cleavage.

"Oh, Bella, please…,"

"Please, what?" I teased her, stroking over her flat stomach in slow circles.

"Touch me."

I shoved her silk thong down her legs and caressed the insides of her thighs with my fingertips.

"Please," she croaked out, her voice trembling with lust.

I pulled her closer until her bare pussy lips were glistening right above me. She whimpered slightly when I licked her from her entrance up to the pearl of her clit and down again.

Her legs started trembling slightly while more of her sweet essence poured down my throat. I shoved two fingers inside her and curled them upwards, feeling her inner walls clench around them a heartbeat later.

I continued stroking her, trying to bring her down from her climax while I licked up every drop of her lust that tasted not sweet, not tart, and not salty but like a perfect mixture of it that was just her and nothing else.

She leaned down and planted several kisses all over my face, trying to catch her breath again.

"I love you...so very much."

I kissed her lips and twisted a wisp of her dark curls around my fingers.

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could stay here for longer than just one night?"

"Hmm, of course it would. But as tonight is all we're going to get…we should make the best out of it."

"We still have the entire night, haven't we?"

I sucked her hardened nipples between my lips to nibble on it, making her moan out in pleasure.

"You weren't hoping on getting any sleep tonight, were you?"

Instead of answering me, she leaned over the edge of the bed and pulled out a box with a red ribbon around it

"Open," she instructed and as soon as my eyes caught the purple dildo inside of it my cheeks turned into a bright reddish color.

"That…it's for both of us." she explained while I turned the dildo around in my hands.

"I don't think I understand."

"Let me show you."

She cuddled her pixie-like body against my side and parted my legs, letting the head of the dildo rub against my inner lips until it slipped into my slick entrance. Slowly she shoved it into me and I gasped at the feeling of being stretched like that.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, swirling the tip of her tongue over the shell of my ear.

I nodded my head, unable to bring out any reasonable words now.

She started pumping the dildo in and out of me in slow thrusts, going a little bit deeper with each of her movements, deeper but not deep enough.

Then she lowered herself on the other end of the dildo, making it slip into me so deep that it reached spots inside me that had probably never been touched before.

"Oh, Bella." she moaned out when I instinctively started rocking my hips back and forth. Somehow she managed to keep the dildo between us, while it almost disappeared between us until our outer lips nudged against each other.

The feeling of being that close to her combined with the sensation of the dildo that kept pumping in and out of me, set my entire body in a frenzy-like fever that didn't subside when my inner walls convulsed against the plastic toy inside of me, triggering her climax that made her legs tremble.

Her head fell back on the soft cotton pillows behind us.

I pulled her body against mine, caressing the tattoo on her hipbone with my fingertips.

She twisted a wisp of my long hair around her dainty fingers and took one of the red lilies in her other hand.

Slowly she moved it down my cheek, over my collarbone and the hardened nub on my left breast. Then she moved it lower, letting it swirl on the sensitive skin around my belly button. Her fingertips caressed the bulky scar that was running right across my abdomen, before she moved the petals of the flower over the jagged edges of the scar. Somehow she managed to melt the ugly of it with the beauty of her love. And in her love, I felt beautiful.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N]

I've posted links for the dresses on my profile, so if you're curious, you could check them out.

Leave me some love and press the review button before you leave. It means more to me than you'll ever know and I could really need some nice words right now.


	66. Chapter 66

[Disclaimer] SM owns everything Twilight

[A/N] I really suck at making out time lines which has a lot to do with the fact that when I started the story, I never expected it to be that long. So, I decided to make a three month leap in time after the wedding, for I wasn't too keen on writing a Christmas scene in May.

This chapter is dedicated to **bad7578**. Your feedback really made my day. Thanks a lot for it.

****Chapter 66****

Reality and its dull consequences came way sooner than I hoped they would.

Edward didn't show up to any of the meetings his arrogant lawyer arranged for Lilly to spend some quality time with her father.

At first he was too busy, as his company made him constantly fly back and forth between Seattle and Anchorage.

Then he spoke to Lilly on the phone for a few minutes when she was at Esme's house. Afterwards she cried and insisted that she never wanted to see him again –ever. It cut into my heart like a sharp knife, especially when she stubbornly refused to tell me or Ali what the hell he had told her on the phone.

The only one who would probably be able to get anything out of her was Jasmine, but she was out of town visiting her parents in Texas.

"You're worrying too much, Bella." Ali whispered into my ear as she hugged me tightly from behind, planting a soft kiss right above my hairline.

"How do you know?"

"You keep biting your lower lip when you're doing that."

"Pretty observant today, aren't we?"

"Not more than usually, honey."

I turned my head and kissed her lips very gently, letting my tongue dart out to lick up a tiny drop of golden colored honey at the edge of her mouth.

"Tastes sweet; tastes like more."

She chuckled slightly and twisted a wisp of my hair around her fingers to pull me closer to her.

"I don't think we have time for more, unless you're going to call my brother and ask to cover your shift in the bookstore.

"Too bad…I don't think I can do that, although the idea is pretty tempting."

She kissed the tip of my nose and put the wisp of my hair that she was still holding behind my ear in a tender gesture.

"Miss you already."

"You know that I'm still here, do you?"

"I thought that I might get some extra points for missing you while you're still around."

"You'll get as many extra points as you want, Ali."

I cupped her face between my hands and kissed her mouth again, letting my left hand circle over the small stripe of exposed skin between her shirt and her jeans.

"You're going to be late." She mumbled against my lips when she pulled back.

"I don't care." I whispered while my fingertips stroked up her spine.

The phone started ringing and I loosened my grip around her waist to pick up the call. Then my eyes caught the number of the caller and I hesitated long enough for the machine to start.

I didn't have the nerves to deal with Edward's lawyer right now. No, that wasn't even true. I didn't have the nerves to deal with him –ever.

After a few moments the machine picked up his call, letting him leave a message on it that informed me that my ex wanted to see his daughter this weekend.

With trembling fingers I deleted the message almost instantly.

"Shhh, everything is going to be okay."

She put her arms around me and I buried my face into the dark curls of her damp hair, trying to absorb as much of her intoxicating vanilla scent as possible.

"I don't know that I'm going to do. She doesn't want to see him."

"Maybe he won't show up at all. That would be better for all of us."

I sighed deeply and planted a last kiss on her lips.

"We can't spend the rest of our life in fear of him."

"I know, but I don't think running away would help. Plus it wouldn't solve the problem with the visitation rights the stupid judge gave him."

"I'm going to talk to Zafrina about that again. Why the hell, does he need to have a visitation right when he doesn't want to see her regularly?"

"He's doing that on purpose, you know."

"But why?"

"Because he's trying to intimidate us with it; My brother," she almost choked at the word before she continued.

"My brother knows exactly how to manipulate people, it's his strong point."

"I guess we'll just have to be careful."

"Hmm, yes we have, but promise me not to worry the entire day."

"If you promise the same to me,"

"I will…and there will hardly be anything to worry about. All I'm going to do today is some shopping with my sister, discussing whether or not purple and yellow are unisex colors or not."

"Talking about your sister, Rosalie is still talking to Edward, isn't she?"

"I don't think talking is the right word for it. She's constantly yelling at him when he calls her but somehow that doesn't seem to bother him. Em suggested that they could change their number but she doesn't want to do it."

"He could show up at their house at any time. There's no restraining order for that."

"That's not necessary, Bella. My sister can handle him pretty well. Or Emmett can handle him."

"I wished no one would have to handle him. Edward is causing nothing but trouble. The only good thing he ever managed to produce was Lilly."

Ali cringed and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs behind her.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I know how much you dislike the fact that he and I…,"

"You don't have to apologize for saying what you're thinking. And just for the record…I'm happy that you have Lilly…no matter who...," her voice cracked before she managed to finish the sentence.

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently before putting it to my mouth to blow a kiss over the back of her hand.

When I walked out of the room my eyes fell on the small silver framed picture of my little copper haired daughter that was hanging on the wall, her tiny face an almost exact replica of her father.

Slowly I stroked over the frame, wondering how close love and hate could actually be.

XXXX

Working with Benjamin didn't really feel like working at all to me because he constantly managed to make me laugh. No matter how inappropriate his jokes might be.

"So, have you and my sister decided anything about the baby thing?"

"What?"

"The baby thing; I thought that the two of you wanted to have one."

I put a few books back into the shelf and sighed deeply.

"Yes, we do want to have a baby, but it's…complicated somehow."

"How can that be complicated for you? It's just the stupid sperm donor that you have to choose. That can't be too hard."

I sat down on a chair and twisted my hair into a sloppy ponytail.

"You're wrong. It's not that easy. What if we make a wrong choice? Or what if the kid is going to hate us for the way we're bringing it into this world? I mean, every child needs a father, doesn't it?"

"Hmm,"

He poured himself a glass of coke and frowned when he took the first sip.

"Arg, why do we only have this crappy diet stuff here? Anyway, I think that you're worrying too much about it. Have you forgotten that you already had the perfect family? And how happy did it make you and your child? See, any baby that you and my sister are going to have should be happy to have you two as its parents."

I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Thanks,"

"You're welcome."

He pulled a tiny mirror out of the pockets of his jeans and checked his reflection.

"You're pretty vain, aren't you?"

"It has nothing to do with vanity, if you're trying to look your best."

"But maybe you should calm down a little on the contacts thing. Your eye color is so pretty and you're constantly hiding it."

"Just until, I've saved enough money to get that laser stuff done on them. It's going to be so amazing to wake up and see more of the world than just blurriness."

"Hmm,"

"Bella, it's still you who is going to carry out the child, isn't it?"

"Ali wished it was her. She's trying to convince me that the risk isn't too high, but I won't give in. I don't want to endanger her life with this…baby thing."

"But she still wants to get pregnant, doesn't she? That's because she's willful, just like our mother was and you know how that turned out in the end."

"Don't remind me…,"

"I won't."

"It's just…she thinks of it being so unfair that she can't have a biological child because of her heart condition."

"Life isn't supposed to be fair. Life is…well life is just life."

He kneeled down to open a new carton of magazines.

"Choose your cock."

"What?"

My face automatically blushed into three different shades of red. Benjamin chuckled and waved with one of the magazines in front of me.

"Want to take a look?"

"You're disgusting."

"And you're a prude. These are going to be our top sellers."

"Maybe or maybe not, you don't have to shove it into my face. It's not a sight I enjoy too much."

"Prude,"

I wanted to punch him in his side to keep him from making any more comments but hurt my hand on the metal of his belt.

"Ouch!"

"You didn't hurt yourself, did you? Jeez, no wonder Lilly has no clue how to throw punches."

I rubbed my wrist for a moment and sighed in relief when realized that I hadn't hurt myself severe.

"She doesn't need to know how to hit people. I want her to learn how to handle a discussion without using physical violence."

"Sometimes it's necessary to know how to defend yourself."

I nodded my head, almost instantly thinking of Edward. My hands started trembling and I dropped the book I was holding on the ground.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked me worriedly and kneeled down next to me.

"Yes, I'm good." My voice didn't sound convincing to me at all and I assumed that it would be the same for him.

"You don't look as if you were good. Stop biting your lip or it's going to start bleeding."

"You're too observant."

"Can't help it, that's just the way I am."

"It's something that you have in common with your sister. That and the pretty caramel eye color."

"And the fact that we both hate diet coke and have way more sense of fashion than other _people_."

His lips twitched into a smile and for the first time I realized how much it equaled Ali's…

XXXX

"You're kidding me, aren't you, Bella? You can't be serious about that."

She sipped on the glass of water in front of her, while I desperately tried to think of a good way not to look like a complete idiot now.

"Just forget it. I shouldn't have mentioned this stupid idea to you."

I turned around to put the empty plates into the dishwasher.

"Let me help you." she whispered, wrapping her hand around my wrist.

"And we can talk about this…_idea_, if you want to."

Did I want to?

"Yes. No…god, I don't even know what made me think of that."

"Did he mention that option to you? She asked me as she sat down on my lap again, resting her head against my shoulder so that the spikey ends of her hair tickled my skin pleasantly.

"Benjamin? No, he didn't. Please, you have to promise me not to tell him that I suggested this to you."

"What made you do it? And don't tell me that you don't know. You think and rethink everything over and over again before you make up your mind."

"Well, firstly it's because it feels awkward to me not to know the…," I searched for the right word, but couldn't find one.

"The father." She finished after a few awkward moments of silence.

"I didn't know that you were so keen on knowing him. I thought that we wanted the baby to be ours."

Her voice sounded tensed now, almost jealous.

I put one finger under her chin to make her look up to me again.

"Hey, look at me."

Her caramel eyes looked incredibly sad when the met mine. I cupped her face between my hands and stroked down her cheeks in feather light movements.

"The baby is going to be ours; mine and yours. I don't want to have it any other way."

"Technically the baby can't be ours and you know that." she whispered barely audible.

I pulled her closer to me and planted a kiss on her lips.

"This is not about technical things. It's about you and me and our family. The baby will be ours because we're both going to love it."

"Maybe I'm just jealous."

"You don't have to be. The baby is going to be ours, not just mine. I don't want you to feel excluded or something like that."

She sighed deeply and tried to stand up from my lap, but I held her where she was; knowing that she needed to feel close to me right now.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"I doubt that's possible. No one has ever loved another person more than I love you."

I smiled and put a wisp of her short hair behind her ear.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have cute ears?"

She giggled. It was not a full Ali laughter but good enough to warm my heart.

"Has anyone ever told you that you give the weirdest compliments?"

"Not really…but yours are cute." I leaned forward to graze the shell of her ear with my teeth.

"But the things I love most about you are your eyes. They make me feel, well, I don't really think that I have words that are good enough."

"So, it's the eyes…isn't it? You want Benjamin to be the donor because of his eye-color?"

"Not only because of it. That would be a little too superficial, wouldn't it?"

I cleared my throat nervously before I continued, taking her hand in mine to squeeze it gently.

"The two of you are so much alike…in so many ways. The way you speak and the way you smile. Using him as the donor gives me a small glimpse of hope that the baby will at least inherit a tiny little bit of the things that I love so much about you."

She sighed deeply and started rubbing small circles all over the back of my hand.

"Promise me that the baby isn't going to call me Auntie Ali, will you? Because technically…,"

"Shhh, I already told you that it's not about technical things. It's about what you and I want."

She turned my hand around and planted a kiss on my wrist, letting the tip of her tongue swirl over the sensitive skin.

"I really want to have a baby with you, Bella."

"So what are we going to do?"

"We're calling my brother to invite him over for dinner or something like that. It's not like we can discuss things like that with him on the phone."


	67. Chapter 67

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to SM

[A/N] I have a feeling that things are going to get tensed and that some of you are not really happy about the direction I'm heading to with this story. However it is impossible to please everyone.

**queenred12**; I actually know several lesbians who want their brothers to be the donor for their kid. My ex wanted that too because she and her bro were thick like…well, I'm just trying to say that it's not really that uncommon. Wouldn't it be difficult for the child that the father is the uncle? Yeah, probably, but let's face it, however they form a family it won't be easy.

As for the surrogate mother thing – I love that idea too. But it wouldn't change the fact that we would still need a donor, would it?

This chapter is dedicated to **Larriss** and **the-poetry-of-ink**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 67****

I wiped my sweating hands on my shirt and almost spilled the content of my coffee cup all over the table when I reached out for it. Damn it, why did I always have to be so damn nervous.

"Your wife is a little bit nervous today, isn't she?"

Ali cleared her throat and squeezed my hand under the table.

"Maybe a little bit. Do you want some more cake?"

"Yes, please. It's really good. Way better than that chocolate caramel stuff you ordered for the wedding."

"I helped Auntie Ali to make it." Lilly mumbled with a full mouth.

"See, I knew there was a reason behind the delicious taste."

I poured him a glass of orange juice that he emptied in one gulp.

"Can I go and play with Fido now?"

I nodded my head and handed her a few low-fat biscuits…yes, they sell fat-free snacks for dogs too…poor dogs.

"You can give these to him and put the marshmallows back, Lilly. He'll get sick if you feed him with candy."

She grabbed the calf-sized dog at the metal collar around his neck and guided him out in the garden.

"I can't believe how much the dog eats. Are you sure that there's nothing wrong with him?"

I sighed and started rubbing small circles all over the exposed skin on Ali's arm.

"The vet says, he's okay, just a little too fat. The problem is that we can't watch Lilly 24/7 to stop her from feeding him with everything she can find."

He chuckled, and I wondered if I had already put enough sugar in my coffee. It still didn't taste sweet enough to me.

"Look, there is something that we wanted to ask you."

"If you're trying to shove that dog off to me, the answer is no. I'm not that good with animals. Plus he doesn't smell too good."

"That's just because Lilly bathed him again. And no, we don't want to ask you to take the dog. Lilly would be so mad at us, if we did that."

Ali squeezed my hand again, before she put it to her mouth to plant a kiss on each of my knuckles.

"The two of you are kind of cute together." he stated cheerfully.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"We're trying our best."

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"Benjamin, if we asked you to do something for us, would you do it?"

"Is it something legal?"

"Hmm,"

"You're not trying to hire me to kill off your ex-husband, are you? I can't do that, although I could really need some extra money right now."

Ali burst out into laughter and somehow that managed to lessen the unpleasant tension inside of me at least a little bit.

"No, it's not that. The idea is tempting though."

I took another sip from my already cold coffee that now tasted way too sweet after I had added about four spoons of sugar.

"We wanted to ask you, if you…," I coughed, unable to bring out the words. God, this was so incredibly embarrassing.

"Bella…I mean, we thought it would be a good idea to use you."

"Use me as what?"

"The donor for our baby,"

I sighed in relief that I had finally managed to stumble it out, hoping that the thick layer of makeup I had put on today would be able to hide my blush.

"Say something, please." Ali whispered after a few awkward moments of silence that felt like hours to me.

"Please,"

"I don't know what to say. This isn't really what I had expected."

"Just forget it." I told him quickly.

"Can we just pretend that we never asked you? Jeez, this is so embarrassing."

"You're embarrassed about anything, Bella."

He started playing with the rubber bands around his left wrist.

"I wouldn't have to touch you, would I. Because I don't think that I could…god, the thought alone makes me sick."

"No, you wouldn't. Of course not, that would be…gross."

"You want to use a turkey baster or something like that? I'm sure we have something like that in our kitchen at home."

I have a certain feeling that Thanks Giving will never be the same to me again…

"Benjamin, we're still talking about the _if_ and not about the _how_, which would be none of your concern anyway."

He took her hand in his and squeezed it for a moment before he turned it around to look at the silver bracelet she was wearing.

"I can't believe that he gave you mom's bracelet. My father must really like you a great deal."

"Hmm,"

"Look, this is really important to me and Bella. So, please just say yes or no so that she can stop squeezing my hand so tightly that she's almost crashing my fingers."

I instantly loosened my grip.

"Sorry, I'm just so terribly nervous." I mumbled so low that my voice was barely audible.

"You are always nervous, Bella." Benjamin stated, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I'd really like to know, why me? It's not that I'm not willing to do it, but…,"

"You want to do it?" My voice raised two octaves while Ali wrapped her arms around him to plant several kisses all over his face.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This means so much to us."

He wiped a bit of Ali's lipstick off his cheek before he spoke up again.

"Hello? Earth to Bella and Ali? I said that I would do it…generally, but there are still things that I need to know. Have you thought about how weird it might be for the child that the uncle and the father are basically the same person? That would be confusing…for all of us."

"Only if he or she knew…but we're not planning on telling the child. You don't have to worry that we expect you to take over any responsibility for the kid. It's going to be ours. All you have to do is…you-know-what-I-mean into a cup."

"So this is really all that you want me to be? A fucking sperm donor?"

To my surprise he sounded hurt now, really hurt.

"We want the baby to be ours."

"Don't you think I know that, Ali?"

"Then I don't understand why you're reacting like that. Weren't you the one that told us not to make such a fuss about the donor for he didn't matter anyway?"

"So, I don't matter to you –fine. Just give me a stupid cup and I jiizz into it in your bathroom; happy to be at your service, Mrs. Swan."

XXXX

When Angela called me a week later and suggested that we could meet to have lunch together, I instantly felt nervous.

Benjamin had switched all his shifts with Leah, so that he wouldn't have to see me too much. Jeez, he really was pissed at me for the donor thing.

"Hi, Bella." she greeted me, standing up from her chair.

I realized that her eyes were all red and puffy like she had been crying for a very long time.

"Hello, Ela. Are you okay?"

I hugged her, and she started sobbing again. A few moments later she pulled back, wiping her running nose on a wrinkled tissue in her hand.

"Something is wrong with him, but he won't tell me."

She searched for a fresh tissue in her handbag and sighed deeply.

"He obviously thinks that I'm not only stupid but blind too for he thinks he can act so weird without me noticing it."

I sighed deeply and took her hand in mine to squeeze it gently.

"Benjamin will calm down again. Look, we shouldn't…,"

"Benjamin? What's wrong with him?"

I bit my own tongue to keep me from telling her that I had literally planned on making her a grandma…technically. God, this whole situation was getting more complicated the more you thought about it.

"Nothing," I whispered finally.

"I haven't really seen him much in the last days."

"That's because he's spending all of his time with Seth as long as he's in Seattle. Didn't you know that Benjamin has a little crush on him?"

"Hmm, yeah...of course, I just forgot about it."

She took a sip from the glass of wine in front of her and sighed deeply.

"Bella, you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone about this. Benjamin would probably freak if he knew."

"What's wrong?"

"I think he's having an affair." her voice came out like a broken record, almost cracking at the end and she took several deep breaths to hold back new tears.

"You think Benjamin is having an affair? And that makes you cry?"

"No, not Benjamin…Stefan."

"Oh crap, are you sure about that, Ela?"

She nodded her head.

"Oh Ela, I'm so sorry about that. Look, if there is anything that I can do for you…," like giving you Zafrina's phone number or something like that…

"I can't believe this is happening to me. It's like I'm trapped in a nightmare and can't wake up."

"Does he know that you know?"

"No, he doesn't. Like I said, he probably thinks that I'm too stupid to know."

"Ela, you are not stupid. And just for the record; this is not your fault."

"I don't care."

"Are you…do you want to talk about it with him?"

"What the fuck would talk help in my situation, Bella!" her voice raised two octaves, sounding way too shrill now in my ears. Was she about to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of the restaurant?

"Try to calm down." I told her, handing her a new tissue that she crumpled nervously between her fingers.

"If you don't want to talk to him, you don't have to. You don't have to see him ever again, actually, if that is what you need."

"But I love him. How can he do something like that to me?"

I squeezed her hand again and tried to think of a good answer to respond to her. Something that didn't used the stereotypical 'all man are assholes' or something like that. Why did things like that have to happen anyway? This was so unfair.

"How did you find out about the affair?" I asked her when she managed to bring her sobbing under control again.

"He's just acting so strange in the last weeks."

"Why didn't you say anything about that any sooner?"

"I kind of hoped that it would stop. God, Bella, I don't want to lose him."

"What do you mean, he's acting strange?"

"He's always calling someone on his cell when he thinks that I can't hear him and then there's the food thing."

"Food thing?"

"All of a sudden he's eating salad and carrots all the time. I know how much he hates healthy food. I once made a tofu burger for him and he asked if I wanted to poison him with that stuff. He said that he didn't come to America to eat rabbit food."

"Maybe he's just trying to get in shape."

"To be more attractive for his Miranda whore?"

"Miranda? You know the name of his affair?"

She nodded her head.

"I redialed the last call on his cell and she picked up. Miranda Brown. That's the name of the stupid bitch."

"Did you talk to her?"

"No, I just hang up. What the hell should I tell her though? Please stop fucking my husband?"

"And what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll talk to Stefan and ask him to stop the affair, or maybe he'll talk to me when his bad conscious gets worse…whatever happens first."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] Hmm, you didn't really think that Benjamin would say yes that easily, did you? Would be far too easy, wouldn't it? This is a soap opera after all. We have to keep things…well, you know.

And what is going on with Angela's hubby? Are all men equal or is there more behind his affair?

Press the little button down there, if you want to read more and feel free to ask questions and make suggestions. Until next time, take care.


	68. Chapter 68

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks to all of you who keep reading and reviewing my story. Your support means a lot to me.

This chapter is dedicated to **venice m.** and **Voshela**. Hope you'll enjoy

****Chapter 68****

"No! I don't want to go. You can't make me!"

I put my arms around her and pulled her on my lap, while she continued kicking her legs against my knees to get free again.

"Lilly, for heaven's sake, stop doing that!"

"I don't want to see him and you are mean because you're making me! All of you are so mean!"

"Lilly, please…don't be like that. I've already told you that the judge decided that your father can visit you every second weekend if he wants to."

She frowned and searched for something in the pockets of her jeans.

"Fido!"

The dog raised his head as she waved with the biscuit crumbles in her hand.

"I'll go, if I can take Fido with me."

"Lilly, we can't take the dog with us. You can play with him when you come back."

"I don't want to go at all!"

"You have to. Look, it's not…,"

"You are so mean!"

"Lilly, please try being a big girl and don't make this any harder for mommy than it already is."

I swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling; knowing that crying in front of her wouldn't help to calm down the situation.

I loosened my grip around her, and she jumped from my lap, instantly grabbing the dog at his collar.

"Stay here! We're already late. Stay here! That goes for both of you!"

She rushed up the stairs to her room and a few moments later I heard the key turning in the lock.

"You're better not doing what I think you're doing, young lady! Come back down here so that we can leave."

I tasted something salty on the tip of my tongue and realized that I had started crying. God, how much I hated scenes like that. And it was all because of him, because he was sure as hell going to sue me, if I didn't show up with Lilly. Damn it, why is she so stubborn?

The front door opened and I blinked into the surprised faces of Ali and her blonde sister.

"What's wrong? We heard you and Lilly yelling at each other from across the street."

I swallowed hard but my voice was still trembling when I managed to speak again.

"She's throwing a tantrum because she doesn't want to see her father. And now she hates me for forcing her to go."

Ali wrapped her arms around my middle and pulled me close. Her dainty hands started rubbing circles up and down my forearm in an attempt to calm me down again. It wasn't really working.

"It's going to be okay."

Rosalie walked over to the stairs.

"Lilly, honey, please come down here."

"No, I won't and you can't make me!"

She sighed deeply as she walked up the stairs and I couldn't help but wonder if her once so perfect shaped ass was almost bigger than mine now. God, I was mean and pathetic, comparing my body with a woman who was pregnant with twins.

"Open the door, Lilly or I'll break the lock."

"Shhh," Rosalie mumbled, putting a finger on my mouth to silence me.

"Won't be necessary,

She pulled a hairpin out of her blonde hair and started fumbling on the lock.

"I didn't know that you could do that." Ali whispered in surprise.

"There's a lot about me that you don't know, Tinker-Ali."

Moments later the door finally opened with a loud squeak.

Lilly was sitting on her bed with the dog next to her, wrapping her arms around his russet colored neck as if it was a life vest.

"Let go of him. Please, Lilly, we have to go. You're trying to make this harder for me than it already is."

She started sobbing and buried her face into the fluffy fur of the dog.

Rosalie kneeled down next to her, almost stumbling over her own feet. She was way bigger than I had been during my pregnancy with Lilly, way bigger. Her fingers were so swollen that the metal of her rings cut into the pearly skin.

She took a deep breath and reached out her hand to stroke over the copper curls of Lilly's hair.

"You're pretty angry at your mother, aren't you?"

Lilly sniffed and raised her head, wiping her running nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

"She's so mean. I told her that I don't want to see my daddy and she's making me. I don't want to go! I don't want to go!"

"Lower your voice. Why don't you want to see your father? You haven't seen him since…, well since a long time ago."

"Don't want to tell you."

I had never thought that this thought would ever enter my mind, but I really wished that Jasmine was here. Damn it, why could a stupid shrink make my child spill out the creepy things my stupid ex might have told her and I couldn't? What did that say about me as a mother?

Rosalie pulled out a tissue and wiped away a few tears from Lilly's face.

"Look, your mother isn't forcing you to see your father."

Technically she is, I thought bitterly.

"But she's going to make me!"

"Stop yelling, Lilly. I'm pretty sure that your mom and Ali have explained the custody thing to you, haven't they?"

She nodded her head.

"Look, Lilly, if your mother doesn't bring you to the meeting with your father the judge will be angry at her."

"Will she have to go to jail?"

Rosalie chuckled and sat down on the ground, cradling her rounded middle between both hands.

"Probably not, but it would still cause her a lot of trouble."

Lilly stood up from the bed and sighed. I put my arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm sorry, honey. I know that you don't want to go."

XXXX

The next four hours were one of the longest in my entire life. I spoke briefly to the shrink, a blond haired guy named Peter that gave Ali a strange look when she told him who she was. What the hell was wrong with him? Then he guided Lilly who refused to let go of the dog until the very last moment, into the room where she was supposed to meet her father.

For a while I just stood there, in front of the closed door, my fingers wrapped so tightly around Fido's metal collar that it was almost painful. The dog whimpered like a little puppy and didn't move one single inch until Rosalie whistled and he walked over to her, pressing his huge head against her belly.

"Good boy. She's going to be okay." I told him, hoping that my words would stay true.

We decided to wait in the cafeteria where I nibbled halfheartedly on a sandwich. I was way too nervous to taste what I was eating.

"Do you want another one?" Ali asked me, standing up.

"Or something to drink maybe?"

"Please, just sit down. You're making me nervous when you walk around all the time."

"She can ask the waitress if they have some more mustard for me. These sandwiches taste like crap without it." Rosalie mumbled while she rubbed her swollen fingers with her other hand.

"You should take your rings off when your fingers are swollen." Ali stated when she returned with the bottle of mustard.

"Do you want a spoon too? God, I can't believe how much of that yellow stuff you have eaten in the last months."

"Hmm,"

She tried to shove one of her rings down her fingers, but it wasn't working.

"They aren't going to turn blue, are they?" she asked me worriedly.

"No, they won't. Don't worry. Are your feet swollen too?"

"Haven't seen them in a while, but I'm swollen on every possible and impossible place on my body. My back hurts like crap."

She put one hand against her hip and sighed deeply.

"The worst is that Em thinks that I 'm fat. He doesn't want to touch me anymore."

"I'm pretty sure that he doesn't think you're fat. Plus most of the weight you gained is just water. After the birth it will all be gone."

Give her hope with the same, stupid lies they told you…

"Of course, he thinks that I'm fat. You should see me naked, it's scary."

She buried her face into her hands and sighed deeply.

"God, I'm such a horrible person. Instead of being grateful for finally being pregnant, I'm complaining about my ruined figure."

Ali poured her sister a glass of water and took her hand to squeeze it gently for a moment.

"Being pregnant doesn't change the way you are, Rose. Your looks are important to you."

"It's important to Em too."

"He's not as superficial as you think he is. Emmett really loves you."

She nodded her head.

"I didn't say that he doesn't love me. Hell, if he didn't care for me deeply, he wouldn't have supported me during this whole in-vitro crap, if he could have it everything the easy way…with another girl."

"Hmm,"

"He loves me, I know he does. But he doesn't find it attractive that I look like a whale right now."

"Did he make any stupid comments? I'm sure he didn't…,"

"No, he didn't say anything, but he doesn't want to….well, you know what."

"Maybe he's just not in the mood for sex right now?"

"Come on, Ali. We're talking about Emmett. And I caught him jerking off in the bathroom a few days ago."

Too much unnecessary information…

"Arg, Rose, that's gross. Please, I don't want to know any details about yours and Emmett's sex life."

"We don't really have one right now."

"Rosalie, I don't want to know it."

She sighed deeply and took another bite from the mustard covered sandwich.

"Much better that way, since eating is the only pleasure I'm getting right now."

"Rose…,"

I checked the time on the small silver watch around my hand, stiffening a bit when I realized that the time was already up half an hour ago. Where the hell was the stupid shrink with Lilly?

"Mommy!" she called out when she saw me. I kneeled down in front of her and wrapped my arms around her neck.

"Hi, sweetie, are you okay?"

The shrink cleared his throat before he spoke up again.

"Miss Swan, you don't have to worry. Your daughter is fine. It's normal that a child gets…agitated when it's going to meet with the other parent, especially when both of the parents are not really on good terms with each other."

"I didn't say anything bad about her father in her presence."

"Hmm, whatever, you should consider having her see someone professional."

"My child is not crazy and she doesn't need therapy."

"But she's going through a lot for a little kid. The divorce and the sudden change of her mother's…_preferences_ and then there's the…,"

Fido nudged his head against Peter's side and whimpered.

The shrink chuckled, and pulled something that looked like beef jerky out of his pocket.

"You're hungry, aren't you?"

He petted Fido's head with his fingertips.

"Such a pretty dog, would be a good watch dog too, I guess."

"You're good with animals." Rosalie stated.

"Normally, he doesn't let strangers touch him."

"I was raised on a Ranch, so I probably just know how to handle them. Plus I like animals a lot. They're not as dishonest as humans."

Lilly waved with a stuffed animal in her hands.

"Daddy gave me that as a present, but I don't want to keep it. Auntie Rosie can have it for the babies if she wants to."

"Oh sure, sweetie, that's nice."

She handed her the stuffed animal, an incredibly ugly thing with huge eyes and pink glitter all over it.

Edward's new secretary – I was sure that he had send her to buy a present for Lilly – had even less taste than the damned strawberry-haired bitch.

Fido growled when Rosalie stuffed it into her bag.

"Stupid dog," she mumbled when he tried to grab one of the arms with his sharp teeth.

"Let go. That's just a toy. Fido, let go!"

He growled again but pulled back to use the opportunity to lick Lilly across the face.

She wrinkled her nose in disgust and wiped the trail of slobber he had left on her cheek away.

"My daddy is scared of Fido." she explained to Peter who had started writing down some notes on a tablet.

"Hmm, but you aren't afraid of him, are you?"

"No, of course not, Fido is my friend, my best friend apart from Jane."


	69. Chapter 69

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. I hope that you're still enjoying this soap…ahm I mean fanfiction. Your support and encouragement means more to me than I can tell you.

This chapter is dedicated to **rpatzluver4ever** for liking the length of the story. There's a lot more to come –promise :-)

****Chapter 69***

_Ali's POV_

"Was that everything he told you?" I asked her impatiently while she sipped on the hot chocolate in front of her.

"Maybe you should have placed a hidden camera somewhere on Lilly's clothing than you would sure as hell know more now."

I sighed deeply and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"Bella and I are not that good with technical equipment, but the idea sounds pretty good to me."

She started rolling her thumb over the edge of her cup. Damn it, why did she always have to do that?

"You owe me, you know?"

"For what?"

"Jeez, Ali, do you think that I enjoy spending my rare free time with Peter? He and I run out of conversation topics when we were in second grade."

I suppressed a chuckle and pretended to be searching for something in my handbag.

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad."

"Hmm,"

I hoped that she would still try to get some information out of Peter for us, so I gave her my brightest smile.

"I don't know how long he's going to keep the job here in Seattle anyway. Looks like his father is going to pay for his tax obligations, so he doesn't have a reason to stay."

"That doesn't sound too good."

I pulled out my tablet and started drawing a flower print on the dress I had sketched this morning.

"Peter said that your shithead of a brother was pretty moody at first. It was almost as if he didn't really care if she was there at all and then he gave her his present and suddenly he cheered up, asking her what other toys she wanted him to buy for her."

The front door opened and a few moments later the dog rushed into the living room, leaving a trail of mud and dried leaves behind him.

I wondered how that dog always seemed to know when I had cleaned up before. At least he didn't bring any dead mice or something like that in here. That would be too gross.

"Hi, honey." Bella greeted me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I planted a soft kiss on her lips that felt smooth like velvet against my mouth. Much too soon for my liking she pulled back and turned to her copper-haired daughter.

"Lilly, sweetie, can you get me a towel for Fido?"

She nodded her head and walked out of the room.

"Did the other shrink tell you what's wrong with her?"

"Hello to you too, Bella," Jasmine snarled at her.

"Sorry, it's just that I'm so worried about Lilly."

"I know, Bella. Look, Peter didn't really tell me a lot that was useful."

Lilly returned with a yellow towel and started rubbing it over the dog's russet colored fur.

"Down!" she instructed, her lips twitching into a smile when the calf-sized dog instantly obeyed her order.

"You've trained your dog pretty well, Lilly." Jasmine told her kneeling down on the ground next to her.

"Oh, Jasmine, he's the best dog and he's my best friend too."

The dog nudged his head against her side and whimpered slightly.

"That's nice. Dogs are great friends. Have you ever wondered why that is so?"

"Because they don't talk." She replied instantly.

"He keeps all the secrets I tell him to himself."

"Hmm, I see. Do you have a lot of secrets?"

"Some," she whispered, putting her fingers into her mouth to bite her fingernails nervously.

"Lilly, please stop doing that. It's going to make your nails look ugly."

Jasmine gave Bella a dirty look before she turned to Lilly again who was obviously trying to find another way to compensate her nervousness. He tiny hands fisted into the towel so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

"But you don't want to tell us about your secrets, do you?"

She nodded her head and her brown eyes, the eyes that had exactly the same shade of milk chocolate like her mother's turned glassy.

"Lilly, please, tell mommy what's wrong."

"No, I won't. You made me see daddy although I didn't want to."

I felt Bella stiffen next to me and pulled her closer, rubbing up and down her forearm in small circles to calm her down a bit.

"Can you tell me why you didn't want to see your father or is that a secret?"

"It's a secret."

Lilly fumbled for something in the pockets of her jeans that instantly disappeared in the dog's snout.

"Did your daddy tell you that it's a secret?"

"No, he didn't but he's angry at me. He yelled at me when I spoke to him on the phone."

"Do you know why he was angry at you?"

She seemed to hesitate for a moment before she spoke up again, her voice so low that it was barely audible.

"Because I didn't want to change the code again,"

"The code? What kind of code?"

"For the alarm stuff that Uncle Emmett brought."

I closed my eyes for a moment to fight the unpleasant dizziness before my burning lungs reminded me that I had held my breath for too long.

"He said when I did it once I could do it again. It wouldn't make any difference."

"So you've changed the code before. Isn't that very difficult to do?"

She shook her head.

"You're like my daddy. He wouldn't believe me when I told him I know how to change the code. He thinks that I'm a little baby and too stupid to change it."

"But you didn't want to change the code again, did you? Do you want to tell me why?"

"Because I don't want to move to Alaska and I don't want to give Fido back to Auntie Rosie. She doesn't feed him enough cookies, because she thinks he's too fat."

"Lilly, I'm sure that your mother and Ali want to keep the dog. You don't need to worry about that."

"But when something happens, I'll have to move to Alaska to live with my daddy and I know that he won't allow me to take Fido with me. My daddy is scared of him."

"And you're scared of your daddy, aren't you?"

"Yes, because he's going to hurt my mommy when he comes back here and he said that…that…," she burst out into tears while her entire body trembled slightly.

Bella pulled her on her lap and started rocking her back and forth while the little girl in her arms sobbed against her shoulder. Tears started falling down her own cheeks.

"Oh please, honey, you have to tell us what he said to you." she croaked out, wiping her running nose on a tissue I handed her with shaking hands.

"He said that…that," her voice reached a hysterically high frequency before it cracked like a broken record.

"It's okay, Lilly." Jasmine told her, trying to make her voice sound light and cheerful, although the tensed expression on her face told a completely different story.

"You don't have to talk about if you don't want to. Sometimes it's not that easy to tell a secret to someone else. It's good that you have your dog to…,"

"Fuck you, Jasmine, we need to know what my stupid brother is up to. Can't you just...,"

"Just what? I'm just a psychologist and not some fucking FBI agent. And as much as I understand that you want to know…need to know, what your shithead of a brother told her, we sure as hell won't find out tonight. Can't you see that she's exhausted?"

XXXX

"I can't believe she managed to change the code of the security system. What a clever girl. I would totally hire her when she's old enough."

I growled and crossed my arms in front of my chest while he continued fumbling with the small metal parts on the table. Fixing cables and other stuff that looked more like a bomb to me than an alarm system.

"It's not funny, Emmett."

"I didn't say it was. Just that Lilly is clever. Kate had to explain the stupid alarm system to Bella for half an hour until she understood it and she still can't do it without the instructions."

"Maybe you should consider building these things with a child-proof lock?"

"Maybe we should consider teaching you how to defend yourself, because since Edward has obviously giving up his idea of sneaking into your house again, it's more likely he's going to show up somewhere when you don't expect it at all."

"Are you going to show me how to shoot?"

He sighed and shook his head.

"Definitely not, but I set up a meeting for you and Bella so that Kate can show you some self-defense stuff. It will give you some inner peace…at least I hope it will."

"Kay," I mumbled, while I tried not to think too much of the awful things my brother would manage to come up with.

Emmett cleared his throat nervously before he spoke up again.

"Can I ask you something? You and Bella…do you ever use toys?"

My face turned warm and I bet that its color equaled that of a ripe tomato.

"McCarthy, you are not honestly asking about our sex-life, are you?"

"Don't be such a prude, Tinker-Ali. I was just asking about the toys, not the dirty details about…"

He put his tongue between his fingers and grinned sheepishly.

"You are impossible. Why the hell do you want to know about toys?"

"Because I want to buy some for Rosie and there are so many out there that I can't decide what to buy."

"God, Emmett, this is so embarrassing. Can't you just ask someone else?"

"Whom should I ask, Riley perhaps? Look, this is really important for me."

"Oh Emmett, just ask Rose what she wants."

"She wants me…but I…I just can't…,"

I remembered the unpleasant conversation with my older sister I had about said subject before and raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"Why? Do you think she's fat? Just for the record, she's just that big right now because she's carrying _your _children."

"I don't think she's fat. She's the one who is comparing her ass to that of fourteen year old girls. I don't give a shit about that for I understand that she's not the sophomore girl I fell in love with anymore. And I like the woman she's now a lot better."

"She thinks that you think she's fat because you don't want to sleep with her."

"Of course, I want to…I just can't…I'm afraid that I would damage the babies and I can't risk that."

"Damage the babies? Are you kidding me?" I tried to suppress my amusement.

"I'm pretty sure that it's not possible to harm the babies while you're having sex."

"And you know that why; because you slept with so many pregnant women before? No, no, no…I won't risk anything. Not after everything we've been through the last eight years. But I understand that Rosie has some…well, you know what I mean…that's why I need to buy her some toys, preferably something small that vibrates or something like that."

"I can't believe you actually want to talk about toys."

"Who wants to talk about toys?" Rosalie asked me cheerfully before she hugged me and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Are you warm? You look a little flushed?"

"No, I'm good, thanks."

She kissed Emmett and twisted her hands into his curly hair.

"You didn't buy any more, did you? Jeez, Emmett, I told you that it's not necessary. We have already more than enough of that stuff."

"No, I didn't."

"Good, because we need to wash and sanitize all of them before we give them to the babies."

"Don't you think that you're overdoing, babe?"

Says the man, who is afraid of damaging the babies with his…arg, don't think about it Ali…

"Overdoing? Don't you know how many germs are on children's toys? And little children put everything into their mouth."

She pulled the stuffed animal Lilly had given to her out of a box with several others.

"That's honestly the ugliest teddy bear, I've ever seen." Emmett told her, shaking his head.

"All that glitter stuff, gives me eye-cancer."

Rosalie chuckled and turned around to fill the kitchen sink with some water.

"If it survives the cleaning process, we'll give it a try. Kids usually have a different taste than adults. Remember that pink Barbie house we bought for Lilly?"

"Hmm,"

There was a weird cracking noise when she dunked the teddy-bear into the water.

"Ouch!"

She dropped the soaking toy on the ground and inhaled sharply between her teeth.

"Ouch, damn it."

"Babe, are you okay?"

"Call my father." She croaked out, sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs while her face turned paler and paler with every breath she took.

"What for? Are you sick?"

"No, you idiot, I'm pregnant. Ouch…damn it, McCarthy, call my father now!"

"Shouldn't we go to the hospital if you're not feeling well?"

"Ali, call Dad for me, my husband has obviously turned into someone mentally slow. Ouch…oh…ouch,"

"Rosie, I actually think that Emmett is right. We should bring you to the hospital."

XXXX

I wiped away some of the glistening sweat pearls from her forehead while I tried to remind myself why I had agreed on staying with her during the birth. I didn't know a thing about birthing babies and I highly doubt that I was going to be of any use for her.

"Can't you ask the nurse to give me some more painkillers? I don't think they're working at all."

"Babe, didn't you tell me that you wanted a natural birth?"

She growled and tried to sit up again, which didn't seem to work that well.

"Are you in labor or me? I get all the shitty parts in this…the in-vitro, the fat ass and now this here. So get yourself useful for once and get me some fucking meds before I consider cas…ouch…strating…ouch you."

"It's too late for medication, Rosalie." Dad told her when he entered the room, pulling down his mask to plant a kiss on her forehead, before he wrapped two fingers around her wrist to check her pulse.

"Shouldn't you be in surgery right now, dad?"

"It was cancelled because Dr. Bennett's idiotic patient didn't show up. Wonder what some people think we're doing here, this is a hospital and not some hair dresser where you can make up and cancel appointments as often as you want."

"Ouch, please, dad…can't you just tell the nurse to give me some…ouch."

He shook his head and took her hand in his to squeeze it gently while Emmett behind him turned almost green in the face.

"Give her something, what kind of shitty doctor are you?"

Rosalie's gynecologist walked in again and gave Carlisle a warm smile. God, she wasn't trying to flirt with him, was she?

"Mr. McCarthy, your wife is in labor and you're asking a cardiologist for advice? I'm afraid that's not really his specialty, but he's actually right about the pain medication. She didn't want any when she came here…,"

"Because it wasn't that bad when I came and none of you morons here told me that it would get worse. Damn it, dad…do something! Please…ouch…"

He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his arm around her neck.

"It's going to be over soon. You're doing great. Come on, try to take a few deep breaths…and…,"

"Are you fucking kidding me? This breathing crap is nothing but bullshit. It doesn't help at all."

"Rosalie, what kind of language is that?"

"If you don't like the way I'm talking feel free to leave."

H stood up again but she grabbed his hand and squeezed it so tightly that he cried out in pain.

"Stay, I didn't mean it like that. It's just…that…ouch…I'm kind of…scared."

"Of the pain?"

"That too, but I'm more afraid that I could screw this up. What if I'm going to be a bad mother?"

"It's a little late for thoughts like that, Mrs. McCarthy. You can start pushing, when I tell you to."

In the birth scenes I had watched in movies that sentence usually meant that the whole thing would be over in about one minute, but of course reality wasn't that kind. I was just glad that I didn't risk taking a look further down because Emmett's face turned even greener when he tried to look over the gynecologist's shoulder for a moment.

And then it finally happened and I waited, we all waited for the tiny blood covered baby to start screaming. Didn't they always scream, when they were born? Was something wrong? I exchanged a worried look with Carlisle, but then a low noise filled the air. Not really like a scream more like a little kitten that was trying to hiss at a tiger.

"He's fine, don't worry. Just a little small, but that's normal for twins. Plus they're born four weeks early."

She turned to Emmett, who had his face buried against the crock of Rosalie's neck.

"Mr. McCarthy, do you want to hold your son while your wife and I are trying to see what progress number two is making?"

"But he's so…tiny…what if I…break him?"

She chuckled and placed the baby into his arms.

"Most babies survive it, when the father holds them. You just have to be careful."

"Hmm,"

I wondered if he would probably faint right now, he still looked way paler than usual.

"Do you know how you want to name him?" I asked him, while I twisted one of the baby's blond curls around my fingers. It felt soft like…like nothing I had ever touched before.

"Tennessee," he mumbled while his eyes stayed focused on the tiny hand of the baby.

"Like the state? Are you sure about that?"

He nodded his head and sat down on the chair next to Rosalie.

"You're okay with the name, aren't you, babe?"

"I like Tennessee," she whispered so low that her voice was barely audible.

"It's just a little long perhaps,"

Another wave of pain rushed through her body, making her legs tremble. Carlisle snarled at the poor gynecologist who unlike most of his other colleagues didn't seem to be impressed by that at all.

"I hope you didn't buy too much toys with glitter stuff," she told Rosalie when she placed screaming baby number two on her chest.

"Most boys are not too fond of stuff like that…but who knows?"

The baby continued screaming, a lot louder than his first born brother. Who had ever thought that such a tiny baby could make such a noise?

"Hi there," Rosalie whispered.

"So that was you who always used to kick me?"

The baby chortled and when Emmett placed the other one into her arms, he instantly starting screaming again.

"Shhh, don't cry. Your brother wants to get to know your mother too."

"Give him back, I can hold them both."

She kissed the blond curls of the tiny infant who seemed a lot more content in her arms now.

"You don't have to be jealous of your brother, Tegan. Mommy loves you both the same."


	70. Chapter 70

[Disclaimer] SM owns Renesmee and the rest of the Twilight Universe. I own Lilly and the McCarthy twins.

This chapter is dedicated to **Amyzee07** for being my **1400****th** reviewer and to **the-poetry-of-ink** for inspiring the little scene at the end. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter70****

"Nessie? That's probably the stupidest nickname anyone ever told me." Rosalie stated, sipping on the glass of water in front of her.

"It was Lilly's idea, because the name that Emmett chose for him, well it's just a little long for such a tiny thing."

"I like Nessie." Ali told her sister cheerfully while she tried to keep the other one of the twins from sucking on her little finger. Her caramel eyes sparkled like melted amber and I doubted that she would let anyone else hold him this evening.

"We shortened Elizabeth to Lilly too. None of us uses her real name anymore."

I nodded my head and tried to remember how many of those delicious almond cookies I had already eaten. No matter how many it had been. It was definitely too much. If only they weren't that yummy. Oh, dear diet goddess, above give me strength…

"I don't like the Nessie thing at all, who on earth nicknames a child after a monster?"

Emmett chuckled and pulled her blonde hair over her shoulder to plant a kiss on her exposed neck.

"The Loch Ness monster is supposed to be kind of cute. And it's fitting because the baby is at least one eighth Scottish."

She turned her head and cupped his face between her hands to kiss his mouth.

"It's still a stupid nickname…and the monster is supposed to be a girl, don't you know that, McCarthy?"

He turned to me, while he continued playing with Rosalie's hair.

"Is the cousin of the Loch Ness monster going to join us again or will she spend the rest of the day in the kitchen with that little blonde girl?"

I sighed and searched for a mint in my handbag. It would hopefully keep me from stuffing down any more of the dessert.

"You've hired Aro to do the catering for the baby party. I didn't know that he would bring Jane with him."

"It's kind of amusing how Lilly hangs on every word that comes out of Jane's mouth."

She's so easy to be influenced, I thought. Lilly would probably do everything for someone she cared for.

"Bella, do you have time on Wednesday?" Kate asked me while her husband next to her held Tennessee as if the baby was a ticking bomb.

"Wednesday? Yes, that's good. I don't have to work, I think."

"Fine," she stated.

"I squeeze you in between some of my other appointments. Let's just hope that you're better in self-defense than with the alarm system. I can't believe that a five year old understands…,"

"Kate, that's enough. Not everyone is so obsessed with electronic stuff like you are."

She cringed and spilled the content of her coffee cup over the table.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay. You're actually right. It's embarrassing that my child understands the stupid alarm system better than I do."

Emmett took the screaming infant from her husband and started rocking him back and forth until he finally fell asleep.

His brother chose exactly this moment to start his own little tantrum.

"Shhh," Rosalie whispered taking him from a silently protesting Ali.

"You're going to wake up your brother."

"It's not that easy when you have two of them at the same time, isn't it?" Aro asked her sympathetically.

"When Alec and my _principessa_ were born they always woke each other up at night. I and my wife decided to give up to expect sleeping more than two hours in one night during their first year."

He placed a new bowl with the almond cookies directly in front of me. His lips twitched into a wide smile. God, who was this man…the devil in form of Italian candy?

Ali took one of the cookies in her hand and waved with it in front of my mouth.

"You know that you want it, don't you?" she whispered before I parted my lips to nibble on it.

She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me closer to kiss away a few crumbles on the edge of my mouth.

Carlisle cleared his throat nervously.

"Mary Alice, is it necessary to do that in public?"

She gave him a dirty look and pulled me even closer. Then she put my hand to her lips and planted a kiss on each of my knuckles.

"Mary Alice!"

"Jeez, dad, calm down again."

He sighed deeply and twisted his hand into the silver highlighted wisps of his blond hair.

"You're influencing the kids with this behavior."

"We're what?" Ali's voice raised two octaves.

"You'll see what I mean." he mumbled, taking another sip from the herbal tea in front of him.

"Are you still not drinking any coffee?" I asked him in a weak attempt to change the subject of our conversation.

"Tea is better for my nerves."

"It's a lot healthier than coffee, especially when you're trying to avoid getting heartburn." Angela stated, while her husband next to her swallowed two small yellow pills.

"You're right, dragostea mea."

He took her hand and blew a kiss over the back of her hand. I wondered if she had still not talked to him about his affair.

"You should drink tea like Carlisle. It could help your heartburn problems."

Carlisle's mouth twitched while Stefan's face paled a few shades.

"Is something wrong, darling?" Esme asked him, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"It's nothing. I was just thinking."

His pager went on and he pulled it out to read the text.

"Don't tell me that you have to leave now. Didn't you ask Dr. Bennett to cover all your surgeries for today?"

"Hmm, yes, I did. But it seems like his useless secretary mixed some appointments up again. I'm really glad that I have Miss Brown. Miranda has an incredible organizing ability. It's so difficult to find a nurse who's also a good secretary. I should probably stop being so rude to her all the time."

"Amen to that." Ali whispered into my ear, her voice so low that no one apart from me would be able to hear her speak.

Angela stiffened and stood up from her chair.

"Excuse me; I think I need some fresh air."

I recognized that her hands were trembling slightly.

"Are you sick, dragostea mea?" Stefan asked her worriedly, taking her hand in his again.

"Don't touch me! Don't you dare to touch me!"

She rushed out of the room, while her husband starred after her with a confused look on his face.

"I don't know what's wrong with her. She's been like this for the last past weeks. At first I thought it was just because of my brother-in-law but he's gone now."

"Maybe you should stop lying to her." I croaked out, instantly regretting the words as soon as they had left my mouth.

"Forget it. This is none of my business."

"Lying?"

"Just forget it, Stefan. I shouldn't have said that."

"Oh, yes, you should." Carlisle stated.

"Lying is never a good idea in a marriage. Most of the problems people have in their relationships come from them not talking enough."

"And you know that why? Because you've always been so incredibly honest to your wife, haven't you?"

Carlisle's blue eyes narrowed angrily.

"Whether or not I've been honest to my wife is between me and her. At least I don't…,"

"Carlisle, please calm down. I'm sure he didn't mean to provoke you."

"He meant it exactly like that."

"He meant what?" Angela asked Carlisle when she returned again. Her eyes were glassy but she was desperately trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Bella, can I sleep at your house tonight?"

"Of course, you can. You can stay with us as long as you want to."

"Why would she stay at your house? Dragostea mea, what kind of nonsense is that?"

"Leave me alone. Why don't you ask your whore to move in with you?"

"My what?"

"Jeez, stop lying to her. She knows the truth. Ela is not as stupid as you think she is."

"I don't think she's stupid. I just don't want to…,"

"Oh come on…tell her the truth. It's way better when she hears it from your own mouth." Carlisle told him, adding another spoon of sugar into his tea.

"I didn't ask for your opinion."

"Whatever. I don't care whether you keep your little secret or not. What can you expect from a man who marries a girl that is young enough to be his daughter."

"Watch your mouth. I don't have to take any crap from a guy who knocked up an innocent girl who was almost a child."

Carlisle growled and stood up from his chair so quickly that it almost dropped to the ground.

"The past is over. I can't change anything I've done back then."

"Hmm,"

"But I suggest that you to talk to your wife about…you know what I mean, for I assure you that you can't keep it from her forever."

"Damn it, Stefan. I can't believe you talked to Carlisle about this. Are you planning on starting some crappy self-support group for unfaithful husbands?"

"I'm not cheating on you, Ela."

"Stop lying to me, Stefan. I may be younger than you but I'm not completely naïve."

"Dragostea mea, you can't honestly believe that I would do something like that to you."

"I fucking told you, that I'm not stupid! Don't you think I know exactly what's going on here? Do you have some kinky nurse fantasies that you want to live out with her?"

**XXXX**

"Maybe you should consider talking to him." Ali suggested while I handed Angela a cup of hot chocolate.

"She's right, Ela. He sounded completely miserable when he called the last time."

"I hope he's miserable for what he did to me. The only thing I'm sorry about is that I ruined Rosalie's baby party with my outburst."

"You didn't ruin it. Don't worry."

Her cell started vibrating and moved all over the table until I finally took it in my hands. Unsure whether or not I should let the mailbox pick up again.

"Is that _him _again?"

"No it's Benjamin. Do you want to talk to him?"

The doorbell rang and I stood up to open the door, being greeted by a completely miserable looking Benjamin. He didn't even wear his contacts, the caramel of his eyes, framed by a pair of glasses.

"Hello, Bella. Is she here? She doesn't seem to grasp the concept of answering her cell."

"Yes, she's here. But she doesn't want to see…,"

"Bella, it's okay. It's not his fault what his father did."

We walked back into the living room, where Benjamin sat down next to Angela and took her hand in his to squeeze it gently.

"Please…please, you have to come back. Dad is going to lose it, when I can't convince you too. He swears that he didn't do anything and I believe him. The only person I know that is a worse liar than him is Bella."

"Please, Benjamin…just drop it. This is just between me and Stefan."

"Are you fucking kidding me? This is about our family. I won't let…,"

"Benjamin, leave her alone. Can't you see how miserable she is right now? Give her some time."

She sighed and shoved her wedding band down her finger.

"Give that back to him."

"No, I won't. That would be the death of him. Ela, please, he swears that he didn't cheat on you."

"Oh, Benjamin, you're still a child and don't want to see the bad things in the world."

He shook his head and closed her hand around the fragile gold ring on her palm.

"Keep the ring...at least for now."

She nodded her head and blinked back a few fresh tears.

"Okay, I will. Can you tell him…no, don't tell him anything. But promise me that you'll take care of him. You know that your father doesn't even know how the dishwasher opens."

"Yeah, I know. I should go back home now. Bella, can I say goodbye to Lilly before I go?"

"Of course, you can. I think she's still upstairs." Playing with that little witch child, I added in my head.

We walked up the stairs and heard some giggling noises coming out of the bathroom. I hoped that Jane hadn't convinced Lilly to play with my makeup.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not. Say you do it or I won't give my Arielle Barbie to you."

"But you promised I could have her."

"Only if you do it…"

"Lilly Cullen, you're a stupid baby and don't know anything. I told you that it's not possible."

"Of course it's possible."

"No, it's not."

I opened the door and tried to ignore the red lipstick that was smeared all over the girl's lips.

"The two of you aren't fighting, are you?"

"Mrs. Swan, Lilly won't give her Arielle Barbie to me, although she promised me that I could have her."

"But you promised…,"

"Look, Lilly, I keep all my promises. Didn't I promise you to hit Alec for calling you a carrot-head again?"

An evil smile flashed over her face, making her look like a little witch with all the dark eye shadow around her grey eyes.

"Jane you shouldn't hit your poor brother all the time. Lilly needs to learn how to defend herself…without hitting people."

"My _stronzo_ brother doesn't deserve it any other way. Lilly is my best friend and I'm going to protect her."

"See? This is why we need to do it."

"Lilly, stop being such a baby...It's not possible. I've already told you that."

"What are you talking about? Are you fighting for the Barbie?" Benjamin asked Lilly taking the tiny doll into his hands.

"Oh Benjamin, tell her that I'm not lying. She doesn't want to believe me."

"Believe you what?"

"Lilly, wants me to marry her but I already told her that's not possible. Anyone knows that a girl can't marry another girl, can she?"

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXO**

[A/N] Check out the new one-shot I've written and tell me what you think of it. The story is called 'Coming in'

Until next time, take care ;-)


	71. Chapter 71

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to SM

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of your favorite Twilight-fanfic-soap. Thanks for taking the time to read and review my little story.

This chapter here is dedicated to **secrets87** for telling me I'm awesome and making my crappy day so much better & to **aquarius127** for inspiring the little scene at the beginning. Hope you'll like it ;-)

*Lemon Alert in this one. As usual – don't like – don't read.*

****Chapter 71****

I dipped one of the strawberries into the melted chocolate before I feed it to my gorgeous wife next to me.

"Hmm, that's delicious." she mumbled with a full mouth, licking away the last drop of dark chocolate from her full bottom lip.

"But why are we having dessert in out bedroom?"

I cupped her face between my hands and planted a kiss on her warm mouth. The tip of my tongue nudged against hers when she parted her lips to gasp for air. She still tasted of strawberries and chocolate, but most of all she tasted like her and nothing else.

Finally I pulled back, letting my fingertips stroke up her back to search for the zipper of her dress.

"The strawberries aren't the only thing that I plan on dipping into chocolate tonight." I whispered into her ear, while my teeth grazed the shell of her ear.

She giggled and guided us over to the bed that squeaked slightly underneath us.

Then she dipped her forefinger into the tiny bowl with the creamy brown liquid and let me lick it off again.

"How do I taste covered in dark chocolate? Am I sweet enough for you?"

I nodded my head and leaned forward to pull down her dress, knowing that she wouldn't like it when I let one of her beloved clothes get ruined.

A smile flashed over my face when I took another of the strawberries between my fingers and nibbled on it before I moved it over the pearly skin on her cleavage where it left a reddish trail that I licked off, enjoying the slightly salty taste her skin added to the fruity sweetness of the strawberry.

My other hand found the clasp of her bra that fell down a heartbeat later, exposing her perky breasts to my eyes. I dipped my thumb and my forefinger into the chocolate again and drew a circle over her already pebbled nipples.

She whimpered slightly and twisted her hands into my hair to pull me closer. I planted a soft kiss on her trembling lips before I kissed down my way all over her collarbone, until I tasted the sweetness of the chocolate on the tip of my tongue and closed my lips around the hardened nub to lick and suckle it greedily. My hand moved down between her thighs and I stroked their insides up and down in a slow rhythm.

She dipped her dainty fingers into the bowl with the chocolate and painted a little arrow underneath her belly button.

I smirked and licked the chocolate off her fingers while my eyes never left hers. Hers were a few shades darker now. Maybe it was the candle light that reflected the tiny brown dots in the light caramel color. God, how much I loved her eyes.

Then I parted her legs and kneeled down between them. My tongue swirled over the little arrow, making me stop right above the thin fabric of her panties. I pulled them down and blew a feather light kiss over her bare outer lips that were already covered in the slick moisture of her arousal before I let my tongue dart out to lick her from her throbbing pearl down to her entrance and up again.

Her legs started quivering while I circled her overheated flesh with the tip of my tongue and gently pushed two fingers in and out her slick warmth. A low moan escaped her throat and I pressed my thighs together to reduce a little bit of the tension that was pulsating between my own legs.

I curled my fingers upwards, rubbing them against the sensitive spot deep inside of her. More of her sweet wetness poured over my tongue before her inner walls clenched and unclenched around my fingers.

"Delicious," I mumbled when I kissed my way up her stomach again, swirling my tongue over the silky skin on her stomach.

"Better than chocolate,"

**XXXX**

"Again!" she growled while I stood up from the ground again, wiping some grass and dirt from my jeans. By now I was convinced that Kate was the most merciless person on earth. My arms were hurting so much that I could hardly lift them anymore. Damn it. Who could know that self-defense would be so exhausting.

"Can we make a little break?" I asked her, leaning back against the wall behind me.

"Oh sure, we can. I bet your creepy ex will let you have a break too, when he shows up again."

Ali wrapped her arms around me and handed me a bottle of water that I emptied in one big gulp.

"Kate, you need to calm down a little. We're not preparing for combat here."

"Let's hope the military never gets in such manpower shortage that they have to take such clumsy people like Bella."

I sat down on the ground and pulled Ali on my lap. She rested her head against my shoulder and sighed deeply.

"If the two of you want to have some alone-time, I can leave now. Do you think that you can remember some of the moves, I've showed you so far?"

"Yes…no, I don't really know. I wished we wouldn't have to learn stuff like that." I mumbled nervously.

Kate nodded her head and sat down next to us on the grass.

"There are other things that you could use to defend yourselves…pepper spray for example."

I remembered how I had managed to spray some of that stuff into my own eyes when Charlie had packed me a can in my handbag. It had burned like fire and I had refused to give it another try, no matter how much Charlie tried to talk me into it. Oh, dad, how much I miss our endless tight-lipped discussions.

"And apart from that?" Ali asked her, twisting a wisp of my hair around her fingers.

"Tasers. They're my favorite actually. I like everything that has to do with electricity."

"How about getting a weapon?"

"I think that's a stupid idea. It's more likely that you shoot yourself in the leg when you're in an escalating situation."

A shiver of fear went down my spine and I instantly pulled Ali closer to me. God, I wished that we didn't need to be so damn afraid of Edward anymore.

"Don't be afraid of him." Kate told us, wiping away a few pearls of sweat from her forehead.

"If you fear him, you give him more power and that's not what you want him to have."

"Hmm,"

"I'm serious, you know. Why do you think the security company is making so much money?"

"Because people are scared of the things they see on TV?"

"No, because we make them feel safer with what we do."

"The alarm system made me feel pretty safe until Edward showed up in our house in the middle of the night."

"That wasn't the fault of the alarm system but of your child, who managed to change the security code."

"Yeah, I know. We told Lilly not to touch it again, but still…,"

"But you're still afraid, aren't you?"

I nodded my head and sighed deeply.

"You think, we're weak, don't you?"

"No, I don't. Everyone is afraid from time to time, even the strongest ones. Look at Emmett. He turned into the most fearful father on earth and he used to be such an easy going guy."

"Fearful? Emmett?"

"Oh, come on. He let us put on child-proof-locks on each window and the twins can't even walk. And then there's the thing with the nanny-camera."

"Nanny? I didn't know they planned on hiring one. I think Rosalie told me that she didn't want to have one, but who knows? Two babies are a lot of work."

"I don't know if they're going to hire one, but they already have one of those cameras. People shouldn't leave their kids alone if they don't trust…,"

"Camera? Maybe they just want to film the twins?"

"You don't have a clue what a nanny-camera is, do you?"

**XXXX**

"The kid is going to have a nervous breakdown when she's going to see this." Jasmine stated while she took a little bit of the Styrofoam filling that was spread all over the bed between her hands.

"That's why I asked Angela to go to the zoo with her and Jane. When she comes back, I'm going to tell her that I had to wash all her stuffed animals, because the dog made it dirty with his slobber or something like that."

"Let that better do Ali. She's a better liar than you are."

"You do know how to compliment a girl, Jazz."

"Just saying it like it is. I'm just glad that we didn't find any more hidden camera's here. God, your brother truly is a freak, a big one."

Someone honked in front of the house, followed by the sound of squeaking wheels on dry asphalt.

"Arg, what is that woman doing to my poor bike?" Jasmine mumbled, sticking her head out of the window, probably to call out a stupid comment to Zafrina.

To my surprise she didn't say anything seeming almost frozen. I walked over to her and got a last glimpse of a tall guy who planted a kiss on Zafrina's cheek, before he drove off with the bike, leaving a little black cloud of smoke behind him.

Ali chuckled when she recognized the pissed-off expression on Jasmine's face.

"Why the hell are you laughing now?"

"Oh, it's nothing."

The doorbell rang and I went downstairs to open it for Zafrina.

"Hello Bella. Is the police here already?"

"Should we have called them?"

"No, I did that. Lilly is not here, is she? Because I think that they want to talk to her too. She's the one Edward gave the toy with the camera."

Ali and Jasmine walked down the stairs, carrying a huge plastic bag with all of my daughter's ruined stuffed animals with them. Jeez, how should I replace all of that stuff without her noticing it?

"Hello Ali. Geez, this looks like a funeral for toys."

I nodded my head and swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling. Ali wrapped her arms around my middle and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Jazz, can you put that stuff in the garage?"

"I'm not your freaking house-keeper, Ali." she snarled at her.

"Seems like someone is in an excellent mood today," Zafrina stated cheerfully, which earned her a dirty look from Jasmine.

"My mood is none of your concern, Miss Penthes. How about you start doing your job properly and make sure that Ass-ward ends in jail where he belongs."

"Oh I'm working on that part, don't worry."

"Do we have to tell Lilly about the camera? She's already scared enough." Ali asked Zafrina as we sat down on the couch.

"No, that's not necessary. We just need to know what exactly Edward told her when he gave the teddy bear to her."

"She's not too keen on talking about her father." Jasmine told her, playing thoughtlessly with the rubber bands around her wrist.

"How about you start doing your job properly and try to get her to talk, Miss Whitlock?"

"I don't need you to tell me how to do my job. But maybe you should tell your boyfriend that it's not good for the engine of the bike when you torture it like that."

"Boyfriend? I don't have one and I don't want one right now. My interest lays elsewhere." Her lips twitched for a moment, before she pulled out a tablet and made some notes on it.

"And the guy who drove off with your bike? Was that one of your clients that lost his car due to your juristic support?"

"My brother doesn't need my juristic support, Miss Whitlock."

I heard the key turning in the lock and quickly shoved the bag with the ruined toys into the closet.

"Hi, Lilly," I greeted her, kneeling down to wrap my arms around her neck.

Angela waved her hand at us and forced her lips into the weak attempt of a smile.

"I'll be upstairs if you need me. My head is hurting and think I should lay down a bit."

"Kay, of course, thanks for taking care of Lilly."

Jasmine cleared her throat before she spoke up, trying to keep her voice cheerful and light.

"Hello Lilly, how are you feeling today?"

"Fine, Jane and I went to the zoo. She's my best friend and I'm going to marry her when I'm big."

"That's nice. It's good that you have a friend apart from your dog."

"Fido is going to live with us when we get married."

"Hmm, I see. And to whom are you going to tell your secrets then, Jane or Fido?"

"Jane says secrets are stupid."

"Maybe she's just jealous that you have secrets and she doesn't?"

She shook her head and put her fingers into her mouth to start biting her fingernails again.

"My daddy is angry at me. Jane's daddy is never angry at her and calls her principessa all the time."

I pulled her on my lap and planted a kiss on her copper curls.

"I'm sorry about that, Lilly."

She sniffed and rested her tiny head against my shoulder.

"Mommy, I don't want to live with daddy in Alaska when you die."

"When I die? Oh Lilly, I'm not dying. Why do you think that?"

A dry sob left her throat, followed by a shrill scream before she burst out into tears.

"Lilly, why do you think that your mother is dying?" Jasmine asked her, sitting down in front of us with her legs crossed.

"I can't tell you. It's a secret."

"Doesn't Jane think that secrets are stupid?"

She raised her head from my shoulder and wiped her running nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

"My daddy is going to hurt my mommy when he comes back. He…he said that he's going to…he…he said that he's going…slice her…throat…he…he...he." her voice cracked at the end and I pulled her closer. Letting her sob against my shirt until she finally stopped. Not because she was done crying, but just because she seemed to be completely exhausted.

"She's not stable enough to let he talk to the police." Jasmine stated, standing up from the ground again.

"Poor little girl. I can't believe that this man dared to tell a little child such horrible things."

"I don't think he intended to do it. He doesn't really know what he's doing anymore. Jeez, that man needs professional help. And I'm talking about that kind of help that takes place inside paddled cells."


	72. Chapter 72

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I think I'm updating this story way too often but creativity is a crazy thing.

This chapter is dedicated to **RoseLillianShadow**. I'm happy that you enjoy reading my story so much.

****Chapter 72****

"Dr. Cullen, I assure you that it will have severe consequences for you, if you know where your son is right now and try to hide this from us." Zafrina told him, while she continued writing down some notes on a tablet.

He sighed deeply and emptied the glass of water in front of him in one gulp.

"I don't know where he is. How often will I have to tell you that? He's not answering his cell and his secretary told me that he cancelled all his meetings for this week."

Ali hugged me tightly from behind and pulled me gently against her pixie-like body before she turned to her father. Her voice was so low that it was barely audible.

"But you're going to tell us when you know it, will you? Because I know that you don't want him to go to jail."

He nodded his head.

"I don't want him to go to jail but I also don't want him do something stupid that he's going to regret for the rest of his life."

Jasmine cleared her throat nervously and twisted her honey-blond curls into a messy ponytail.

"He's sick, you know…I mean…not physically of course. But he seems to have some serious mental problems. I told you that you should make him talk to someone professional and you didn't want to hear it. And now we have to deal with…,"

"That's enough, Jasmine." Ali stated, sitting down on the couch. I realized that her hands were trembling slightly and took them in mine to rub small circles over her wrist. However it was difficult for me to calm her down when I was so afraid myself that my heart was in my throat. This kind of stress would be poison for Ali's heart, wouldn't it?

"Mary Alice, you look as if you're going to faint any minute. Did you take your medication?" Carlisle asked her worriedly.

She rolled her eyes at that.

"Sorry that I don't look like a sunny day in June when I have to fear for the live of the woman I love. But to answer your question, I took the pills. You don't have to worry about that."

"That's good. Do you want me to give you something for your nerves too? It would help you sleep better tonight."

"You can't honestly think that we're going to sleep for one minute when…,"

"Mommy?" Lilly mumbled tiredly as she walked down the stairs. The dog whined when he saw her and licked her hands when she reached them out to stroke over the fluffy fur on his head.

"Hi, sweetie, are you thirsty?"

She shook her head and climbed on my lap, hiding her tiny face against my shoulder.

"I don't want to sleep alone in my room. Can we call Jane to come over?"

I sighed and put a wisp of her copper curls behind her ear before I planted a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Perhaps another time, honey."

"Can I stay here with you then? I don't want to be alone."

"Hmm,"

"I should go now." Carlisle stated, standing up from his chair.

"To be home in case he decides to call. It's way better when I'm the one who is going to speak to Edward. My poor wife is probably going to get a nervous breakdown when she hears about this whole mess."

"Esme is stronger than you give her credit for." Jasmine told him, playing with the rubber bands around her wrist.

"I know how strong she is. But this is going to break her heart. How can I do that to her, when she's done everything to make me happy, since the first moment I met her."

"If she hears it from someone else…like the police for example, everything is going to be much worse. And I assure you that they're going to talk to her." Zafrina stated, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"She's right, Carlisle. Talk to Esme before they do it."

He nodded his head and walked out of the room, his face looking as if it had aged several years in the last hours.

"Dr. Cullen?" Angela asked him, as she walked down the stairs, rubbing her eyes that were all red and puffy now.

"Why are you still here, Ela? I can assure you that it's way safer for you at your own house right now."

"I'm not afraid of your stupid son. But I can't go home when my husband still continues to keep telling me these lies about him not cheating on me."

Carlisle sighed and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"Look, I shouldn't be the one telling you about this but as I think that it really would be way safer for you to go home instead of staying here with Bella and my daughter…,"

"You know about his affair, don't you? Did your sexy secretary tell you about it? Jeez, the stupid wife is always the last to find out."

"You're probably the first person that called Miranda Brown sexy and if it helps you to feel better…the relationship between her and your husband is strictly professional."

"Professional? Why would he have to talk to a nurse almost every day?"

"He keeps cancelling his appointment for his surgery over and over again,"

"Surgery? Why would he have to need surgery?"

"Because his so-called heart-burn pills are not really against heart-burn,"

XXXX

I splashed some cold water into my face and frowned when I blinked tiredly at my reflection in the mirror. God, I looked even worse than I felt like. It was way too early to stand up but I was afraid that if I would lie down again the nightmare would return.

Whenever I closed my eyes I saw his face in front of me. His mouth twitching into that damn crooked smile before he raised his hand, the blade of the sharp knife covered in dried blood.

God, you better not think about it, Bella. You'll turn crazy if you do it.

I walked down the stairs and held the dog around his collar so tightly that my palms cut into the cold metal.

Jasmine's curly head was resting in Zafrina's lap. Had they both slept here after spending half the night discussing where Edward could be right now?

"Pssst," she whispered, carefully standing up from the couch again.

"Let her sleep."

We walked into the kitchen where she pulled out her cell to read a new text.

"You don't look too fine to me, Bella. Didn't you sleep at all?"

"Not much…and not very good. I'm glad that Ali and Lilly are sleeping now. It's good that at least they get some rest."

"You should have swallowed some of the sleeping pills that your father-in-law left here for you."

"I'm not a fan of drugs."

"Hmm, I see. Do you have coffee? Because I don't think that the caffeine free crap that my secretary makes me drink is going to help me make it through this day."

I nodded my head and started the machine. Then I sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and sighed deeply.

"This is really messed up, isn't it? Not really what you expected when I hired you to handle my divorce problems."

Her mouth twitched for a moment.

"Didn't I already tell you that complicated cases are my specialty?"

"Yes, you did that. But I kind of expected a different kind of complications. How could I not see that coming? How could I be married to someone…someone like that, without noticing what kind of monster he truly is? What does that say about me?"

"Bella, this is not your fault. A lot of people are blind when it comes to love."

"You're wrong." Jasmine stated as she entered the kitchen, nibbling on a granola bar.

"Love makes people see more…way more. But we never know everything about another person. Jeez, some people don't even know themselves…,"

"Are you going to send her a bill for your psychological advices at this early hour?"

"No, I won't. Are you going to sue me, if I would?"

"The only precious thing you owned was your bike and you already sold that to me."

"Hmm, whatever…you look a lot better on it than your brother. A bike is like a woman you have to treat it with love."

"You know far more about bikes than you know about love."

"And you think you do? You can't even choose between men and women."

"Grow up, Jasmine. Love has nothing to do with gender. If you love…you just love. Arg, forget it. It's no use talking to you about that. You're the most stubborn, jealous, narrow-minded person I've ever met and I honestly don't know why I like you."

I poured myself a cup of coffee and sipped on the steaming hot liquid. My hands were trembling so much that it was difficult for me not to spoil the whole content all over the table.

"Breathe, Bella." Jasmine instructed while Zafrina kneeled down in front of me and squeezed my hand gently.

"She's right. Try to calm down. I know it's difficult for you right now, for all three of you but you're going to be fine. We'll find your creepy ex and make sure he'll never get free again. He's not going to hurt you or…Ali or Lilly or any other person."

"I wished we could run away." I whispered my voice so low that it was barely audible.

"Run away? Bella where would you go?"

XXXX

Ali took my hand and planted soft kisses on each of my knuckles.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" she asked me as I turned off the engine of the rental car in the parking lot of the airport.

"Somewhere I never expected to go back. But I'm sure that Edward won't come looking for us there. He knows how much I detest that place. It holds too many bad memories for me."

"And that is where you want us to go?"

"I want us to go where we can feel safe or at least safer than here in Seattle."

We entered the building and I went to the counter to get our tickets.

"Port Angeles?"

"That's just a stopover. Forks is not big enough to have an airport."

"Oh, I see. And you told nobody where we're going? Not even Zafrina?"

"Zafrina has my cell number when she needs to get in contact with us. It's better if she and the others don't know where exactly we are."

"What about your job?"

"Benjamin promised to cover my shifts until I come back. He's thrilled that Angela moved back to their house. Seems like at least for them things are going to get back to normal."

"But her husband is still sick, isn't he? Carlisle told Angela that he needs surgery."

"That's just a routine procedure. I think that he didn't want her to know about it because he didn't want her to worry. Or because he didn't want her to feel sorry for marrying someone who's so much older than her."

She sat down with Lilly on her lap and started rubbing her back in small circles.

"You're okay, honey, aren't you? If you're tired you can sleep on the plane."

"I am not tired." she murmured, raising her head from Ali's shoulder.

"Auntie Ali, where are we going?"

"We're going to go where your mommy lived when she was your age."

"Is my daddy going to come there too?"

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around them.

"No, he won't. He's not going to find us. We'll be safe there." I told her, trying to keep my voice cheerful and light. Somewhere deep inside myself I wondered if my words would stay true.


	73. Chapter 73

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks and hugs to those of you who keep supporting my little fanfic-soap with your reviews.

This chapter is dedicated to **Villemo79** and **Silva86.** Hope you'll enjoy

****Chapter 73****

An unpleasant feeling spread through my body when we drove past the city sign of Forks. I hadn't been here in years and the last time had been for Charlie's funeral.

Ali took my hand in hers and put it to her mouth to blow a gentle kiss over the back of my hand.

"You don't like being here." she stated, stroking up and down my bare forearm with her fingertips.

"I don't like the memories that come with being here." I whispered so low that my voice was barely audible.

She parked the rental car in front of the house and turned off the engine. I still had trouble calling the house my house although it technically belonged to me now, at least on paper. The house was Charlie's and without him it was just some random place. Just walls and a roof but it wasn't a home anymore and it could never be.

I swallowed hard and kneeled down to grab the spare key that was still hidden underneath a flower pot that now contained some dried earth and twigs.

My hands were trembling slightly when I turned it around in the lock and walked into the house. Ali lifted Lilly up and carried her into the kitchen where our dog whined slightly and tried to hide underneath the old oak table. The flight didn't seem to have had a good effect on him. He was nervous. Well if it was possible for a dog to be nervous. Lilly pulled something out of her pocket and tried to pull him in. It didn't work.

"Leave him alone, honey. He'll get around."

"Mommy, can I sleep in your old room?"

I nodded my head and when she rushed up the stairs I thought sadly about how much Charlie would have liked to meet her. And now he would never…

"Bella?" Ali asked me worriedly while she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her. The spikey curls of her dark hair tickled my neck when she planted a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Are you okay with staying here tonight? Because if you don't we could get a hotel room."

I turned my head and kissed the tip of her nose before I shook my head.

"No, it's okay."

"Are you going to tell me why you don't like being here?"

I sighed deeply and sat down on one of the three un-matching chairs. Fido rested his huge head against my thigh and started purring lowly when I stroked his fur with my fingertips.

"I don't know."

She kneeled down in front of me and took my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"Why? You know that you can tell me everything, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. This house reminds me too much of Charlie and I feel kind of guilty being here now that he's gone."

"I don't think, I understand."

"Look, after my parents got divorced I moved to California with my mother and her new…well, boyfriend. They broke up five years later and she sent me back to Forks to stay with my father."

"Hmm, I see."

"I kept complaining to him over and over again how much I hated Forks and that was probably hard for him because for some reason that I never managed to understand he loved this town as if it was the most beautiful place in the whole world."

"And then?"

"Well, Renee got a job as kindergarten teacher and found a new boyfriend. I moved back to California until that Mr. Right turned into Mr. Not-So-Right and she shoved me off to Charlie again."

"Why didn't you stay with your father?"

"Because Renee had full custody for me and then there was the fact that I didn't like being in Forks. I was shy as a child, even more than I am today. Forks is small and I was the poor child of the Police chief's crazy ex-wife. I think I managed to make it through the entire fifth grade without talking more than two words to anyone."

"Wasn't Ela in your class back then?"

"Hmm, yes she was but she was shy too. The morons in our class nick-named her the-four-eyed-girl because of the ugly glasses she had to wear."

"Kids are mean."

I nodded my head and wiped away the thick layer of dust on the table. When I turned my head to the ancient fridge I realized that it was still covered with several pictures of me. Ali noticed it too and took one of the Polaroid pictures in her hands to take a closer look.

"You were a pretty child." she stated cheerfully.

"You mean I was pretty heavy."

"Bella, it doesn't make you less pretty that you weren't thin back then."

"But if I had been prettier, Renee wouldn't have sent me away that often."

"That's not true."

"Of course, it's true. Look, can we just drop that topic now? It makes me feel awkward."

"Kay, but I want you to know that I'm here for you."

I cupped her face between my hands and planted a tender kiss on her full lips. When she gasped for air I used the opportunity to slip my tongue into the sweet warmth of her mouth.

For a split second I thought that it was somehow weird to kiss Ali in Charlie's tiny kitchen but then I relaxed and pulled her closer, twisting my hands into her hair while I sucked her upper lip between my teeth to nibble on it.

The front door squeaked slightly and I wondered if I had accidentally left it open. Then I heard a shrill, nasal voice behind me and my heart stopped beating.

"What the hell are you doing here?" the grey-haired women snarled at me, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I croaked out, standing up from the chair so quickly that it dropped to the ground.

Fido growled at the intruder and the woman took two steps backwards when he bared his teeth.

"Keep that mutt away." she instructed, pulling out a cell.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her again while I grabbed Fido around his metal collar.

"What I'm doing in my own house is none of your concern. You've decided to break into the wrong house. There is nothing here that's worth stealing."

"Your house? Are you crazy? This is my house. So, I suggest you leave it this very moment before I let the dog free or call the police."

"Not necessary, I'll gladly do that. You probably think that I'm stupid and senile just because I'm old."

**XXXX**

I remembered that the ride from the police station to Charlie's house took exactly twenty minutes. So when I heard the familiar sound of the police siren I checked the time on my watch and realized that only twelve minutes had passed since the unfriendly old woman had called them. Well, the sooner they were here the better…

When the two officers entered the kitchen – she had refused to let us wait in _her_ living room – my mouth fell open.

"Mike? Is that really you?"

"Bella!"

He wrapped his arms around me and swirled me around, planting a kiss on my cheek before he put me down again.

"Chief Newton this is completely inappropriate. I called you to arrest these barefaced burglars and not to flirt with them."

"Mrs. Mallory. These are no burglars and this is not your house. Deputy Call will drive you back to your granddaughter's house."

The dark haired officer smirked and put an arm around her shoulder while she protested halfheartedly. As soon as they were out of sight Mike burst out into laughter.

"It's not funny."

"Maybe not for you, Bella, but it's definitely funny for us. That's the fifth time she has walked into some stranger's house and insisted that it was hers."

"I still don't think it's funny."

"Seattle didn't seem to have had a positive effect on your sense of humor, Bella."

Ali wrapped one arm around my middle and pulled me against her pixie-body.

"Hi, I'm Ali."

He shook her hand and when his lips twitched into a smile I realized that his face had lost every rest of baby fat in it. The dark blue color of the uniform made his eyes look blue like the sea.

"I'm Mike, Mike Newton, one of Bella's oldest friends."

"Nice to meet you, Mike,"

Lilly walked down the stairs and cringed slightly when she saw Mike standing in the middle of the kitchen. I knew that it hadn't really to do with him more with the fact that he wore a police uniform and the last times she had come in contact with someone wearing one hadn't been too pleasant for her.

"Come here to me, Lilly. I want you to say hi to Mike."

He kneeled down in front of her and waved his hand at her.

"Why is the police here? I don't want to talk to them again."

"Talk to the police? What is she talking about?"

I sighed deeply and twisted my hair into a sloppy ponytail.

"That's complicated." I croaked out after a few awkward moments of silence.

"Kay," he mumbled and I was glad that he didn't ask more about that.

"That's a pretty dog you have with you." he told Lilly who had rested her head against the fluffy fur of his russet colored neck.

"His name is Fido and he's my best friend."

Mike reached out his hand and stroked the huge head, making the dog purr like a little kitten.

"Good boy,"

"He seems to like you." I stated, sitting down on the chair again. Ali started playing with my hair and when she put a wisp of it behind my ear Mike gave her a confused look.

"I'm good with animals."

"Yeah, I know, you always have been. What happened to your plans of becoming a vet?"

"Plans change. I wanted to stay here in Fork. Don't say anything now; I know that you can't understand that. You couldn't wait to get out of here, could you?"

"I'm not really a small-town girl."

"Yeah, I know, you never have been. Do you think it's weird that I like living here so much?"

"No, it's not. Charlie loved that too."

"Hmm, I guess he did. Did you know that we're still working on his case?"

"Really? And have you found out anything useful yet?"

"You know that I'm not supposed to tell you something about the current investigations."

"But Mike, he was my father."

"And he was the former chief of police who got shot during being on duty. I promise to tell you when we find the damn bitch."

"Her? How do you know that it was a woman who killed him?"

"Forget it. I shouldn't have told you that. Jeez, I'm not really good at the whole keeping my mouth shut thing."

"Don't worry. I won't report you."

"Thanks, I really need to keep this job because Jessica won't allow me to see our son when I get behind with the support payment."

"The two of you are divorced? I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't have to be; she and I that was never meant to be."

"Hmm,"

"What about you. Are you still married to that red-haired lawyer from Anchorage?"

"Edward and I got divorced a few months ago." I told him, desperately trying to keep my voice calm.

"So, we're both divorced. Maybe we should go out for dinner later this week, just for the good old memories."

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Mike." I mumbled, pulling Ali on my lap. A bell-like chuckle left her throat when I grazed the shell of her ear with my teeth.

"I don't think I understand, Bella." he croaked out, rubbing his chin thoughtlessly.

"You will." I assured him; before I leaned down to press my lips against hers in a tender kiss.


	74. Chapter 74

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of your very favorite soap-fan fiction. I know that this story is pretty unrealistic and it isn't meant to be that way.

I'm so happy that some of you are still enjoy reading my little story here. Your encouraging feedback means more to me than you'll ever know.

This chapter here is dedicated to **Madmum** and **SOFisticated1**. Hope you'll enjoy

*Lemon alert in this one – as usual don't like/don't read.

****Chapter 74****

"You could have told me earlier." he told me, sipping on the cup of coffee in his hand.

"Then I wouldn't have wasted my entire junior year waiting to get…well, you know what I mean."

I giggled before I took another bite from the delicious dessert on my plate. The fruity taste of the pie remembered me of my childhood and I wondered if it would be okay to order a second piece without seeming too hoggish.

"Can I ask you something? How long did you know that you're more interested in other women?"

"I'm not interested in other women. That's just Ali. She's the only woman I ever wanted."

"I hope so." Ali stated cheerfully, wrapping one arm around my shoulder.

"It's enough for me that my wife is interested in me."

"Hmm,"

I took Ali's hand in mine and planted soft kisses on each of her dainty knuckles.

"You're not planning to move back to Forks, are you?"

"No, we're not." I croaked out, wondering how long we would have to hide here until we found Edward. If we found him before he found us. A shiver of fear went down my spine and I instantly pulled Ali closer to me.

"Not that I wouldn't be happy if you would, but I guess that it would quite difficult for a couple…like you. People here are constantly sticking their noses into things that aren't their business."

Lilly climbed on my lap and buried her face against my shoulder.

"Mommy, can we go to the park now? It's boring here."

"Maybe later, honey. You know that it's raining outside."

"Jane says playing in the rain is fun."

"And your mother says that getting a cold and spending an entire week in bed is not fun."

She frowned and turned her attention to the russet colored dog again, commanding him to sit and roll around which he obeyed instantly, knowing that it would earn him another extra treat of his diet-cookies.

"So, this is how you spend the time I and the rest of the town pays you for." Someone snarled behind my back.

I turned around to stare at the white-blonde nightmare of my childhood. Lauren was still thin, very thin indeed but when I realized the fine lines around the edges of her pink tinted mouth a sick joy spread through me. She looked way older than me and that made me feel happy, somehow.

"Lauren,"

"Mike, I tell you when you send that fucker over to my house again instead of returning my poor Nana yourself….,"

"Then you what? Tell Jessica about it? I have some interesting information for you Miss Mallory. I don't give a shit about what you or what you not tell my ex-wife."

"I can't believe that they let someone like you become chief of police here."

"Lauren, just drop it."

Then she turned to me and her voice sounded a lot friendlier now. In fact it sounded too friendly, almost artificially sweet.

"Bella, I can't believe it's you. You look great, when are you due?"

Earth open up and swallow me. Jeez, how mean could someone actually be?

"I am, I am not…"

"Oh, I'm sorry." she mumbled, not sounding sorry at all.

"But if you aren't pregnant you shouldn't stuff down all these empty calories."

"I can't remember that we've asked you for your opinion." Ali snarled at her, emptying the glass of orange juice in front of her in one big gulp.

"But if you're so keen on giving other people advises let me give you a little clue. The clothes you're wearing are not really appropriate for a woman in her forties."

Mike burst out into laughter and Lauren's face turned into an ugly frown.

"You think that's funny, you little loser do you? I'm so glad that Jess decided to kick your sorry ass…,"

"Lauren, you better take care that Jess doesn't kick your ass, for I'm pretty sure that you want to keep your job in her father's office. She wouldn't be too happy to find out that you tried to get lucky with her husband…while he was still her husband."

"Jeez, you're such a stupid prude, Mike. I was just kidding back then. And for your information; I have another job offer, one that will finally bring me out of this stupid, boring town."

"Whatever…just do me a favor and leave us alone now before I consider that all the traffic tickets you got in the last months could somehow manage to find their way back to my desk."

She mumbled something that was too low for me to understand it and rushed out of the dinner.

"Sorry, about that. Lauren is a stupid, embittered bitch."

"Hmm,"

I nodded my head and took Ali's hand in mine to squeeze it gently.

"Your daughter looks a lot like you." Mike stated, while he pulled out his cell to read a new text.

"Really? Because most people say that she comes more after her father."

"She has your eyes and her hair looks a lot like yours too. It's just a few shades lighter but the curls...that's so you."

"Thanks."

"How long are you planning to stay here? I have Jamie this weekend…when Jess doesn't decide to throw a tantrum again. I don't know how girly your daughter is but we could do some hiking…"

"Hiking? Oh, yes, I've never been hiking. Are we going? Oh, please, mommy, say yes!"

I thought about how much I hated doing things outdoors but I knew that Lilly would be thrilled.

"Maybe when the weather is better," I mumbled halfheartedly.

"How old is your son?" Lilly asked Mike while she took the rest from her cake and fed it to the dog that had almost fallen asleep underneath the table.

"Jamie is three."

"Three? Jane says that three year olds are stupid babies."

I wondered if I should probably start making a list about how often my daughter started a sentence with 'Jane says; Jane thinks or Jane did this and that.'

"Don't you like babies?"

"Some, I like my little cousins but only because they're going to do everything I tell them to when they get older."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Of course, I'm sure. Jane says that…,"

The waitress dropped a pile of dirty plates on the floor and the loud noise made me jump from my chair.

"Are you okay? You seem to be a little jumpy."

"It's nothing," I croaked out and twisted my hair around itself until it was a messy bum at the end of my neck that I fixed with a small hairpin.

"Bella, unlike the rumors Lauren keeps spreading about me, I didn't get this job because I want to lure women in with the uniform. I wanted to be a cop because I wanted to help people…well, whatever helping people means."

"Mike, I don't think that…,"

"Let's make a little deal. You tell me why you keep watching your back as if you're waiting for a ghost or something like that to show up behind a corner and in return, I give you some…details about your father's case."

"Kay," I whispered and cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"We're here because of my ex-husband and I really hope that he doesn't show up; for if he did, it would probably mean that things could get really, really ugly."

"Why are you so afraid of him? Look, if he's…violent or something like that you could always press charges. I know a lot of women hesitate to do that but…,"

"No, it's not like that. We already have a restraining order to keep him away but that didn't seem to have had such a big impression on him."

"Hmm, I see. And now you're trying to hide from him, aren't you?"

"Kind of…look, Mike, please do me a favor and keep your mouth shut about that. It's better when not too many people know that I'm here at all."

"Bella, you just run into Lauren Mallory. I bet the entire town will know that you're here before you make it back home."

"Great, just great," I whispered exasperatedly.

"We could tell people that you're just here to sell your father's house."

"That sounds good. Maybe I should consider doing that for real."

"Really? Because I would totally buy it…well, if I could afford buying it. Jessica's father made me bleed pretty badly for divorcing his daughter."

"I don't even know what the house is worth. My ex-husband handled all the details about the inheritance after the funeral."

"I understand that you didn't have the nerves to deal with that kind of stuff. Weren't you pregnant at that time?"

I nodded my head and twisted one of Lilly's copper curls around my fingers. He was wrong about the hair. It looked exactly like Edward's.

"Do you that you're going to find the person who killed him?"

"Bella, don't get your hopes too high. It's been five years now. And the only evidence these arrogant guys from Port Angeles managed to find were a few hairs."

"Is that why you know that it was a woman?"

"Hmm, yes…well, the hairs they found on the floor belonged to a woman. We don't know if she was alone. Jeez, we don't even know why he was killed."

I stood up from my chair and walked over to the window.

"Do you think that matters to me? My father is dead. It won't bring him back to me if I know about the reasons of his death."

XXXX

I pulled a blanket over her shoulders and planted a kiss on the sensitive skin on her neck.

"I'm sorry. I probably should have paid better attention when Charlie explained the heating installation to me."

"No, it's okay. Don't worry."

She turned her head and kissed my mouth. When the tip of her tongue swirled over my bottom lip a shiver went down my spine. Her hands moved under my shirt and stroked up higher and higher until her fingertips reached my breasts. She cupped them into her hands and started massaging them gently, while her tongue slipped between my slightly parted lips to nudge it gently against the tip of my tongue.

"I love you." I whispered against her lips when she pulled back. When she rolled the hardened nubs of my nipples between her thumb and her forefinger I pressed my lips against each other to suppress a moan.

"Don't do that. You know that I love hearing how I make you feel."

I kissed her mouth again, letting my tongue explore the sweetness of her mouth while I pulled the blankets over us.

"Close your eyes." she whispered into my ear before she kissed her way down my upper body. Her warm mouth closed around one of my nipples and when she sucked the hard nub between her lips to suckle it I twisted my hands into her hair to pull her closer. Her other hand slipped underneath the already damp cotton fabric of my underwear. I wondered, if the amazing physical effect, her tender touch was having on me would ever stop.

My right hand moved between her slim thighs and when my fingertips dipped into her slick warmth a low whimper left her throat.

Her thumb circled over the pearl of my clit and I sucked the pale flesh on her collarbone between my teeth to stiffen my moans.

Then I shoved two fingers inside her, while I pressed my palm against the throbbing center of her lust right above her tight entrance.

"More," she whispered into my ear, while I felt her dainty fingers caressing my inner lips so lightly that I instinctively bucked my hips against her hand to intensify the pressure against my overheated flesh.

"I'll give you always more, if you want me too," I mumbled, grazing the shell of her ear with my teeth before I slipped a third finger inside of her and curled them upwards. She was tight and her inner walls stretched around me when I started thrusting them in and out of her.

"Do you like having my fingers inside of you?" I whispered hoarsely while she inserted two of her own fingers inside me, rubbing them against the sensitive spot deep inside me in painfully slow circles.

"Yes, oh, yes…oh…don't stop, oh please don't stop."

Her inner walls tightened even more and a trail of fresh wetness poured down my hand. Her mouth found mine again and I sucked her tongue between my lips, while her soft lips moved against mine.

And then there was nothing, nothing but the incredible feeling of her fingers inside of me, her thumb circling over the throbbing pearl of my clit faster and faster.

The muscles in my stomach tightened and when the first wave of my climax washed over me it was her name that died on my lips.

"Promise me that we'll always stay together." she whispered when I finally managed to catch my breath again.

"Of course, we'll stay together. No one will ever come between us. I am yours and you are mine and it's going to stay like this for the rest of our lives."


	75. Chapter 75

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. The beginning of this chapter is a flashback scene I don't know how you feel about that kind of thing. It's just a test for me and I don't know if I'm going to use it again.

This chapter here is dedicated to **the-poetry-of-ink** and **mydsgirl**. Hope you'll enjoy

****Chapter75****

"_I'll put a post-it on those so that you know how to warm them up in the microwave." I stated while I stuffed the Tupperware boxes into the freezer._

_He frowned and looked up from his newspaper, taking another sip from the black coffee in front of him._

"_I've managed to feed myself perfectly while you were away at college."_

"_Ch…Dad, you know that I like cooking for you. And when I'm living in Seattle, I won't be able to do that."_

"_You could stay here, you know. This is the perfect place to raise children."_

"_Dad, we're not having this discussion again. I'm not really that keen on small town life and Edward says that his company is probably going to send him to Alaska anyway."_

"_Alaska? He's going to make you move to Alaska?"_

"_He has a name. We're going to live in Seattle, at least for the next two years. So, if you want to visit me…us you don't have to fly across the country."_

_I poured myself a glass of milk and swallowed it down with the rest of my apple pie._

"_Please take the rest of the cinnamon rolls away before I munch them down as well. It's not like I need those extra calories. I'm already eight pounds above the average weight."_

"_Since when are pregnant women supposed to be on an average weight?"_

"_Oh come on, Dad, you know what I mean."_

"_You have issues with your weight just like your mother."_

"_Renee is thin."_

"_She doesn't eat because she's too busy with running after men that are almost half her age."_

"_Hmm,"_

_He stood up from his chair and put the dirty plates into the dishwasher before he cleared his throat nervously._

"_You shouldn't have married him, at least not that soon."_

"_Dad, I don't understand why you're so against it. Renee says that he's a great catch."_

"_Because he dazzled her, that's all. He's an arrogant prick and I don't trust him at all."_

"_You're not the one who is going to live with him, are you? I love him and we're going to be happy."_

"_I hope so, Bells. But I still don't understand why you had to marry him that soon."_

"_You know why, Dad." I mumbled, placing my hand around my rounded middle. The baby kicked against my palm._

"_A pregnancy is not a reason to get married. Not today. Jeez, Bella, this is not the eighteenth century."_

"_I don't understand why you don't like him. He's polite, he's handsome, and he comes from a good family."_

"_Being rich doesn't make them a good family. I can't believe he made you sign a fucking prenuptial. You should have thrown it right back into his stupid grinning face."_

"_Dad, please. Don't mention it to Edward again."_

"_Kay, won't bring it up again. But try to remember that my offer is still up – If you want me to shoot him for you…accidentally of course, I'd do it."_

"_Dad, you're impossible."_

"_Just saying it like it is. I just bought a new shovel by the way…"_

"_Dad!"_

"Hello? Earth to Bella?"

I cringed and dropped the Tupperware box I was holding on the kitchen floor.

She kneeled down to pick it up again and placed it on the counter. Then she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly from behind.

"You're not really here, are you?"

"I was just thinking." I mumbled, turning around to plant a soft kiss on her gorgeous mouth. The tip of her tongue slipped between my slightly parted lips when I gasped for air and I twisted my hands into her hair to pull her closer.

"About what?" she asked breathlessly when I finally managed to pull back.

"The past….just forget it, it doesn't even matter anymore."

"Hmm,"

"We need to do some grocery shopping. Do you want me to go?"

"No, we can go together. I really don't want to be alone in this house."

XXXX

"Mommy, can I have one of those? Jane says it tastes good." She pleaded while her tiny mouth twitched into a crooked smile.

Ali suppressed a giggle before she leaned over and whispered into my ear.

"Too bad that Jane didn't tell her that Broccoli tastes good that would have been really helpful."

"Auntie Ali, can I go to Italy with Jane this summer? Jane says that it's so pretty there. Oh, please say yes!"

"Why aren't you asking your mom?" she asked her, putting the package with the neon colored marshmallows back into the shelf.

"Because I think that you'll say yes."

"Honey, you're a little too young to travel so far on your own."

"But I want to go! Jane says that…,"

"Lilly! I don't care at all what Jane says or doesn't say. There is no way; I'm letting you fly across half the world on your own."

"Auntie Ali, please. I really want to go."

"Maybe when you're older,"

"See, mommy, Auntie Ali would let me."

"Lilly…,"

There was a shrill scream at the other end of the aisle and when I turned my head I saw a little blond boy, who had thrown himself on the floor and was yelling so loud that it painfully hurt my ears. I instantly pitied the poor mother, because I knew that it was always her that would be blamed for her child's tantrum.

The mother kneeled down and lifted him up while his screams turned into desperate sobs. She walked down the aisle, while the little boy in her arms kicked against her side. What a little brat.

"Please, Jamie, don't be like that. Jeez, you're stubborn like your father."

"Daddy! Daddy would let me have it!"

"Your father isn't here right now. I don't care what kind of crap he allows you to eat when you're at his house but I won't…,"

"Jessica?"

She cringed; it was obvious that she was embarrassed now. Not by me of course, but about her son's outburst. Jessica was usually good with kids.

"Bella! Oh, it's so nice to see you. Mike told me that you're here to sell your father's house."

"Ahm, yes, that's right. I'm sorry to hear that the two of you are divorced."

"He didn't tell you that it was my fault, did he? For that is a mean lie and he knows it."

"No, he didn't. Look, Jessica this is none of my business."

"If you want to know the truth, it was all because of his stubbornness. My dad offered him such a good position in his law firm but he preferred playing the town sheriff here."

"You wanted him to work for your father? Why? Mike didn't even go to law school."

"Daddy would have hired him as his assistant. Well, it doesn't matter anymore."

Her son had finally stopped crying and she put him down on the ground again. He sniffed and she pulled out a tissue to clean his running nose.

"You must probably think that my son is a little brat. But he's just tired now and then there's the fact that he didn't handle the divorce that well."

"Hmm,"

"Your daughter is pretty. She seems to have inherited your heavy bone-structure though."

I inhaled sharply between my teeth and tried to remind myself that it wouldn't give a good example for Lilly if I punched Jessica straight in her pretty face now.

"You should be happy if your son didn't inherit your crappy character." Ali snarled at her, putting her arm around my shoulder.

Jessica's face turned into a bright crimson color that she tried to hide it behind a curtain of her brown curls.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It was mean…and what's between you and Mike is totally not my…,"

"Between me and Mike?"

"Oh, Bella, do you think I'm stupid? You're divorced and he's divorced, excellent time to bring up the good memories of the two of you."

"God, Jessica. You're not honestly thinking that we're going to get back together?"

"I don't care." She stated, not sounding like she didn't care at all.

"Are you jealous? That's ridiculous. Mike and I are just friends. I'm with someone I really love and…,"

"Lauren saw you at the diner with him and said you were flirting. He could barely keep his eyes off of you…or his hands."

"Don't you know by now that Lauren Mallory gossips like an old woman?"

"Yeah, I know she's pretty bubbly. But she usually tells the truth. I'm going to miss her when she's gone, although my father says he's glad about it. She didn't seem to be the best secretary he had. I wonder why someone offered her another job. Whoever it was must be an idiot."

XXXX

Ali poured some of the vanilla scented massage oil into her hands and started rubbing it into my skin in smooth circles.

"Don't stop," I mumbled, closing my eyes for a moment to concentrate fully on the gentle touch of her fingers.

"I won't if you promise me not to fall asleep. As much as I like your snoring…it kind of kills the romantic atmosphere a little.

"I promise."

"Fine," she whispered, leaning over to plant a soft kiss on my mouth that managed to set my entire body on fire when she nudged the tip of her tongue against my lower lip.

"Do you know what day we have?"

"Hmm, let me think…Tuesday?"

"That's not what I meant, Bella."

"I didn't miss your birthday, did I?"

She chuckled and continued massaging my shoulders in small circles.

"No, you haven't. That's in three weeks."

She stood up from the bed and walked over to the closet where she pulled out a silver wrapped present.

"Happy anniversary!"

"Isn't our anniversary supposed to be on the day we got married?"

"Yeah, that's right but that's so long and I really wanted to have a reason to give you this."

I opened the present and took the tiny pair of shoes between my fingers.

"I don't think I understand."

"They're for our baby." she stated cheerfully before she leaned forward to plant a kiss on the tip of my nose.

"I really want to have one with you."

"Ali, your brother said that he won't agree to being the donor."

"That's not true, Bella. He just said that he doesn't think he can do it…the way we suggested to do it."

"I don't understand how we can do it differently."

"Look, I thought about it and if he wants to be more…involved we should let him."

"Involved?"

"We could tell the baby that he's the father and let him do some of the…daddy stuff."

"But didn't we agree that we want the baby to be ours?"

"It will be ours, because it's going to live with us and we're going to love it. I wished I could have one of my own, but if that's not possible…I really want the…well, second best option we have."

"Do you think that Benjamin will say yes to this?"

She nodded her head while a smile flashed over her beautiful pixie face.

"We can talk to him when we go back to Seattle what will hopefully be soon."

"Hmm, yeah, I hope that too."

I nuzzled my head against the crock of her neck and sighed deeply.

The dog barked downstairs but after a few moments it turned into a low whimper followed by several choking noises.

"Fido!"

"Mommy, I think he's going to be sick."

"Lilly, what have you fed the dog again?" I called out, standing up from the bed again.

"Nothing!"

Ali sighed and stood up, putting the tiny pair of shoes, she had been holding back into the small box.

"I'll clean up his mess if you promise me to talk to her again about not feeding him with candy and stuff like that."

"Deal,"

I planted a quick kiss on her mouth and took her hand in mine before we walked down the stairs. She walked into the kitchen to get a cloth while I tried to calm down Lilly.

"Mommy? Oh, mommy, I think, he's really sick."

"Come here," I instructed but the dog just continued to choke until nothing but a trail of green liquid trickled out of his snout.

"What did you gave him?"

"Nothing, mommy, I just come down here because he was barking and then…,"

"Poor dog…" I mumbled kneeling down on the ground next to him.

"You have way more compassion for the stupid mutt than you ever had for your husband."

I raised my head to blink into a pair of hatred filled emerald green eyes before everything around me went dark.


	76. Chapter 76

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of your very favorite soap-fanfic. I'm so thankful to all of you who keep reading and reviewing. It really means a lot to me. I can't believe I managed to write something over 2K words, totally awesome.

This chapter is dedicated to **Kyraaah1992** and **aurike**. Hope you'll enjoy

#FAQ#

Yes, Bella and Mike were a couple when they were at school, but they never made it passed…first base. Some people are better off as friends.

****Chapter 76****

I gasped for air but somehow none of the oxygen managed to enter my lungs. Something heavy was pressed against my chest that made it painfully difficult for me to breathe. My head was spinning and I wondered if I was going to faint again now. Why the hell couldn't I breathe?

Then the weight was pulled away from me and I sighed in relief.

"Bella? Bella, are you alright?"

I turned my head and blinked into the tear-covered face of my pixie-like wife. Her hands were trembling and I hoped that all this stress wouldn't be too much for her weak heart to endure.

"Where is Edward?"

I tried to stand up but she wrapped her arms around my quivering shoulder to keep me where I was.

"Don't try to move. You might have a concussion or something like that."

"Ali, where is Edward?"

She cleared her throat nervously and stood up from the ground again.

"I think, I kind of knocked him out."

"You did what?"

I stood up, almost stumbling over my feet when I realized my ex-husbands body on the ground next to him. Crimson colored blood trickled out of a wound at the back of his head.

"Is he dead?" I croaked out, feeling a shiver of fear running down my spine.

"Daddy is dead?" Lilly whispered so low that her voice was barely a whisper. Then she burst out into tears and buried her face against the fluffy fur of the whimpering dog.

Edward turned to the other side. Then he reached out his hand and grabbed it around Ali's wrist.

"I hate you. I hated you even when you were just a little baby."

Ali inhaled sharply between her teeth.

"Let me go. Can't you see that this is over?"

H coughed and a few drops of fresh blood trickled down the edge of his mouth.

"Fucking little parasite."

"Keep your stupid mouth shut. I won't let you talk to Ali like that."

He tried to stand up which wasn't really working and so he just sat up and pressed the palm of his hand against the bleeding wound on his head.

Somehow I managed to pull my cell out to call the number of the police.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing you stupid cunt? Why are you calling the police? Do you want your lesbian whore to get arrested?"

"Edward for the last time now; keep your mouth shut! Or you're going to regret it!"

XXXX

"Aren't you going to arrest her too?" Edward asked Mike as he turned my ex-husbands arm around and closed the handcuffs around his wrist with a loud click.

"What for?"

"She attacked me! She tried to murder me with that…I don't really know what it was."

"You seem to have a strange sense of humor, Mr. Cullen. You break into a house having a knife in your pocket and now you want to press charges?"

Edward growled angrily and I instantly took two steps backwards to wrap my arms around Ali's middle.

"You're going to regret that, asshole. And just for the record. I didn't break in. I have a fucking key, you moron."

"A key? Why the hell do you have a key to my father's house?"

He chuckled and his mouth twisted into that damn crooked smile.

"This house is still ours. Have you forgotten about the papers you signed?"

"What kind of papers? I don't remember them." Jeez, there had been so many of those after Charlie's sudden death.

"Chief Newton, the vet is here." One of Mike's deputies informed him.

"That's good. He can take care of the poor animal."

"You called a fucking vet? How about calling a real doctor that can take care of my injuries?"

"I don't like the way you're talking to me. We had to call a vet because you're refusing to tell us what the hell you've fed the dog."

"I hope he kicks the bucket. Maybe I should have better shoot him straight in the head."

"Daddy, do you really want Fido to die?" Lilly croaked out, wiping her running nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

"Lilly, it's just a stupid mutt. He's evil and…,"

"No, he's not. He's my best friend and now he's sick just because of you!"

"Lilly, I'll buy you another dog when we move to Alaska."

"The only place that you're going to move to is the local prison here."

"I need a doctor. My head is hurting."

"Mine too, mostly because of the crap that comes out of your mouth."

"I'm going to sue you and make sure that you'll lose your stupid job here."

"Do what you want. Officer Call will bring your sorry ass to the station now."

"What about the doctor?"

"If you can still complain like that it can't be that bad. But we can let the prison doctor take a look at you."

There was an awkward moment of silence when Edward was finally out of the house. Then I tasted something salty on the tip of my tongue.

Mike kneeled down in front of me and took my hand in his.

"Are you sure that you don't want to see a doctor?"

I nodded my head and wrapped my arm around Ali, who looked incredibly pale now. As if every little bit of color had left her pretty face.

"But you should call one for her."

"No, that's not necessary. I'm just feeling a bit dizzy now. It will soon be over."

"I can't believe he had the nerves to show up here."

"How did he know that we were here? I thought that you told no one about us going to Forks."

"I didn't tell anyone."

"We find out how he figured it out. Don't worry."

"That's easy to say for you, Mike." I mumbled while I started to stroke up and down Ali's back in small circles to calm her down again.

"No, it's not. He could have killed you."

The vet came over and whispered something into Mike's ear.

"That's good to hear."

"Hmm,"

He turned to us and forced his lips into a grimace that was probably supposed to look like a smile.

"The vet says that your dog is probably going to survive. Whatever kind of crap your ex fed him…it wasn't enough."

The dog raised his head and whimpered slightly. I stood up and stroked over his head with trembling fingers.

"I'm sorry."

"Why? Bella this is not your fault."

"I can't believe that he managed to find us here." Ali whispered so low that her voice was barely audible.

"Are you sure that you didn't accidentally tell anyone?"

"Mike, we're not stupid. Have you forgotten what I told you about Edward?"

He shook his head and sighed deeply.

"I'm just trying to figure it out, how he did that."

Then he cleared his throat nervously and turned to Ali.

"Can you tell me how you managed to knock him out? He's over two heads taller than you."

"I don't really know. Everything happened so incredibly fast. I grabbed something from the ground and smashed it against his head as hard as I could. God, I could have killed him."

"With a shovel? That's rather unlikely, so don't worry."

"Is he going to press charges?"

"Probably, but that should be none of your concern. If you want me to, I could call Jessica's father and…,"

"Mr. Stanley? I don't think that will be necessary. If we really need a lawyer we know one who's much better than your ex-father-in-law."

XXXX

"You better make sure that he doesn't escape from this incredibly joke that you dare to call a prison."

Zafrina stated, while she sipped on the cup of coffee in front of her. I wondered how she and Jasmine had managed it to show up here that quickly.

"He's going to stay right where he is." Mike assured her, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Can you get the papers ready to transfer him back to Seattle?"

"No, he refuses to be transferred because he's too sick."

"Maybe I should help a little with that. When I'm ready with him, he's going to be really sick, you can bet on that." Jasmine mumbled between gritted teeth.

"Don't say things like that, Jazz." Ali pleaded her, before she pulled a tissue out of her pocket to clean her running nose.

"It's worse enough that he's trying to make me look like the bad one in this. I didn't mean to…,"

"Ali, calm down, him pressing charges against you is completely ridiculous."

"But the police…,"

"The police over here is busy with a lot of other stuff; you can be sure about that." Mike told her, while he pulled out his cell to read a new text.

"How could you be here that soon? Shouldn't you be in Seattle?"

Zafrina shook her head and sighed deeply.

"We were in Port Angeles. But I can tell you more about that…later."

"Chief Newton?"

"Yes?"

"The station called again. They want to know how many calls we should allow him to make."

"Are you stupid? Just one of course and I'm sure he already had that."

"But he said that it doesn't count when he calls someone for medical advice."

"Why would he have to call anyone for medical advice? The prison doctors checked his injuries and stitched the wound on his head up. If his head is hurting he can swallow some painkillers."

"But he said…,"

"I don't give a shit what he said. No more calls for him. He can call his lawyer…no that won't be necessary I think. He's a lawyer himself, isn't he?"

I nodded my head and pulled Lilly on my lap.

"You're okay, honey?"

"The police took my daddy away….again."

"I know, Lilly." Jasmine told her and sat down on the ground next to us.

"Do you know why they did that?"

"Because he's angry,"

"Hmm,"

"Jasmine, do you know why my daddy is so angry?"

"No, sweetie, I don't know. But it's not your fault that he's so…well, angry."

"But why did he try to kill Fido? He's my best friend."

"I know, Lilly. Look, your dog will be fine. Don't worry about him."

"Will my daddy stay in jail now?"

She nodded her head and Lilly buried her face in her hands before she started sobbing again.

I pulled her closer to me and rubbed her back until she finally managed to calm down.

"Nothing is going to happen to him in there." Mike told her while he sipped on the glass of water in his hand.

"I'm not crying because of that." she croaked out, raising her head from my shoulder again.

"I don't want him to come back to hurt my mommy."

"He won't do that. I promise you that he'll never come near any of you…ever again."

Ali stood up from the couch and sighed deeply. Jasmine put a hand on her shoulder, while her eyes narrowed for a split second.

"You know that you should call your parents, don't you?"

"I'm pretty sure that my bro…I mean that Edward already did that. I bet my mother is trying anything to get his…,"

"Your father texted me about ten minutes ago to tell me that he still doesn't know where his shithead of a son is. Well, that weren't exactly his words." Jasmine stated nervously.

"Didn't Edward call our mother?"

"Hmm, I think that he called his office…Embry said that he wanted to speak to his secretary when they brought him to the station."

"Always the business man," Zafrina mumbled.

"If you ask me he should have better called Masen or another lawyer instead of cancelling his appointments. He's probably going to lose his accreditation for the shit he pulled today anyway."

"Zafrina, he said that he owns the house, but I don't understand how that's possible."

"I'll contact Cullen's office and ask them to send us a copy of that so-called contract."

"I don't know why he would have wanted to have this house here anyway."

"It's hard to tell how Edward's mind works." Ali stated, wrapping her arms around me from behind.

"But however it works, we'll have to find a way to stop him from hurting us again."

**OXOXOXXOXOXXOXXOXOX**

[A/N] It would totally rock my little fanfic-authors heart if I'd managed to reach the 1.500 review mark with this chapter. So, please, press the little button down there to make a girl happy.


	77. Chapter 77

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N]*Blows confetti into the air* Thanks and hugs to all of you who helped me to achieve my goal of 1.500 Reviews. It means more to me than I could ever tell you.

This chapter here is dedicated to all of you who keep reading and reviewing. Without your support I wouldn't still be here writing this little story.

****Chapter 77****

"It' really pretty here." She mumbled while she circled over the bare skin on my cleavage with her dainty fingertips.

I leaned over and cupped her pretty face between my hands before I planted a soft kiss on her lips. She gasped for air, and I slipped the tip of my tongue between her lips to nudge it against her tongue. A low whimper left her throat and I sucked her bottom lip between my teeth to nibble on it.

"We should probably stop now." I whispered against her mouth when I pulled back a few moments later.

"Why?" she asked me while her left hand moved under the hem of my shirt to caress the skin on my stomach.

"People are starting to stare at us. Look at the dark haired guy over there."

"He's probably the kind of man that likes to watch." she assumed, sitting up to pour me another glass of orange juice that I swallowed down in one gulp.

"I don't like it when people do that. It makes me feel like we're freaks. No one would pay attention if a heterosexual couple would kiss in a park."

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer. Then I kissed the tip of her nose so lightly that my lips were barely touching her skin. Still it was enough to cover it with a beautiful blush only moments later.

"I love you and I'm so glad that nothing happened to you. The thought of losing you is…unbearable for me."

I pulled her closer until she was sitting on my lap and nuzzled my head in the crock of her neck to inhale the delicious scent of her warm skin.

"You won't lose me, ever. Don't you know that there is nothing on earth that could ever come between us?"

She kissed my mouth again and I parted my lips enough to let her suck on the tip of my tongue. For a brief second I wondered if the 'watcher' was still starring at us from the other side of the meadow. Then I figured out that I didn't care.

"Promise me that you never leave me?" she whispered into my ear and there was the strange hint of sadness in her voice that I couldn't really place.

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"This is not just about Edward, is it?"

She nodded her head and sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry; I don't know why I'm so afraid of that. Well, actually I do, but it's kind of stupid and I don't want to talk about it."

I leaned forward to put a wisp of her short hair behind her ear. My fingertips caressed its shell before I stroked down the exposed skin on her neck.

"Tell me. Whatever it is, I really feel like I need to know about it."

"Bella...,"

"Don't you Bella me now. Look, if I've done anything wrong…,"

"No, you haven't. You are wonderful, warmhearted and kind and everything that I ever wished for in a woman."

Then she took my hand in hers to blow a tender kiss over the back of my hand.

"But I know how it's like to get hurt, to trust and be betrayed."

"Did Jasmine pull any weird crap when the two of you were together?" I asked her worriedly.

She giggled and quickly shook her head.

"No, she didn't. Jasmine is too nice to break a woman's heart. Our relationship ended because she wanted me to move in with her and I wanted to go to that Fashion School in Paris."

"Hmm, I see."

"Do you remember the red-haired woman we met in Maria's club the first time we went there?"

"Wasn't that he one with the creepy husband? I bet he's also one of those that like to watch."

"Watching is not really enough for James." she murmured between gritted teeth.

"She told me that she loved me and I believed her. God, I believed every single word that came out of her goddamn mouth and each and every one of them was nothing but a lie."

XXXX

I twisted my fingers into the damp curls of her short hair and pulled her closer to me.

"I'm sorry about the rain." I told her while I wrapped a towel over her quivering shoulders.

"It kind of ruined our picnic a little bit."

"Don't have to be sorry, Bella. You should know by now that I like rain, well it's more the whole dancing in the rain thing that I like."

She danced around me like a ballerina and planted a soft kiss on the skin of my neck.

"You need to relax a bit, Bella. Mike ensured Zafrina over and over again that Edward won't be released from jail any time soon."

I sighed deeply and took her hand in mine. Slowly I rubbed the tip of my finger over the metal of her wedding ring.

"Don't tell me that you're not worried yourself, because I know you are. Did you sleep at all last night?"

"A little bit. I was far too busy planning things that are way more pleasant than dealing with my brother and his aggressive issues."

"What kind of things?"

"Well…,"

Jasmine walked into the living room and to my surprise the edges of her mouth didn't twitch one tiny bit when she saw us standing with the arms wrapped around each other. Could it really be that this woman was about to calm down in her ridiculous jealousy?

"Lilly is sleeping now. She has a very vivid imagination…even for a child."

"'Are you going to analyze her now? Because we really don't want that."

"Ali is actually right. You are just supposed to help her deal with that…well with the whole situation."

She chuckled and sat down on the middle of the couch.

"You're full of prejudices concerning my work. I'm not about to brain wash her or something like that."

Zafrina entered the room and smirked.

"It's not that most of the prejudices about shrinks aren't true. I mean shrinks are weird somehow."

Jasmine gave her a dirty look.

"And lawyers are money hungry assholes that have a law code where other people have their heart."

"It's nice that you at least assume that I do have some sort of a heart, Miss Whitlock."

Zafrina chuckled and took a sip from the cup of coffee she was holding in her hands.

"You're drinking too much of that stuff." Jasmine stated reproachfully.

"You're neither my secretary nor my girlfriend, Miss Whitlock; so you don't have to worry about my health."

"I would never consider working as your secretary, Miss Penthes."

"And I wouldn't hire you. You are completely unqualified, Miss Whitlock."

"Too, bad…but as Senna is practically your slave, I probably should be happy that you don't want me."

"She's not my slave. If anyone in our relationship is the slave it's me. For she manages to handle all my appointments and stuff like that, without her I wouldn't be able to do my job properly."

"Are the two of you going to tell us why you were in Port Angeles when Bella called you?" Ali asked them, while I pulled her on my lap and cuddled my face against her shoulder. God, she always smelled so incredibly good.

"We were there to meet someone. Unfortunately she didn't show up, but she called later and said that we could meet again today."

"Whom are you going to meet?"

"Miss Denali. Edward's former secretary. I guess you remember her, don't you?"

I nodded my head and sighed deeply.

"Of course, I remember that…woman. How could I ever forget her? What I don't understand is for what reason you want to talk to her. The divorce is over. We don't need her to witness about her…well, relationship between her and my husband in court anymore."

"That wasn't the reason why I contacted her and you'll find out about that very soon."

XXXX

Her strawberry-blonde hair was cut off into a bob and I instantly wrinkled my nose when I inhaled the artificially sweetness of her perfume. However her eyes looked huge and fearful. She scanned the area around her quickly before she walked over to the table at the end of the restaurant and cleared her throat nervously.

"Hello, Miss Penthes. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to our last meeting. I had to take care of some…personal stuff."

"No, problem, Miss Denali,"

Tanya turned to me and her mouth twisted in something that was probably supposed to look like a polite smile.

"How are you, Mrs. Cullen. Or is not more Cullen actually? Miss Penthes here mentioned something about a divorce. Would it be inappropriate to congratulate you on it?"

I quickly shook my head and sighed deeply.

"I honestly don't care."

"Hmm,"

"Miss Denali, I assume that you and Mr. Cullen had a professional relationship…well apart from the other one of course." Zafrina stated, pulling out a tablet to write down some notes on it.

"I was his secretary, if you're referring to that, Miss Penthes. Look, I don't know anything that could be useful for you and I already told you that on the phone."

"Oh, I'm sure that you have the information we're searching for."

"You're not planning on stealing off his clients, are you?"

Zafrina giggled and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I have enough clients of my own to deal with. And I'm definitely not interested in working for an oil company in Alaska. I'm a woman who prefers the sun."

"Hmm, I see. What do you want to know?"

"Do you know the passwords for his computer?"

"Yes, I do. But I assume he has probably changed them by now."

"Oh, I forget about that. He fired you, didn't he?"

She nodded her head and growled angrily.

"That was so unfair; like it was my fault that his wife left him. I told that man over and over again that he can't have it all."

"Have it all?"

"Well, you know what I mean. Edward wants everything. The wife, the house with the white picket fences and the ability to stick his…you know what I mean into every woman he wants to fuck."

"Did you make copies from anything in his office before you left it?"

Tanya hesitated for a few moments and started biting her fingernails nervously.

"Well, I…I made some of cases that were not really handled all…well, completely legally. I thought that I might be able to use them against Edward in case he wanted to sue me."

"Sue you for what?"

"I don't really know. He's a lawyer; he could always come up with something."

"Probably,"

"Do you know what the…illegal activities were about?"

"Not exactly, Miss Penthes. He had a lot of mail contact with Mr. Masen about some tax problems. Something about a house he inherited. I can give you the papers if you want them. The whole thing doesn't really make any sense to me."

"Kay, I'll take a look at them later. Miss Denali, do you know how I could contact Edward's new secretary?"

"Can't you just call his office? She must have started working there a few days ago, if Edward didn't change his mind again about her."

"Change his mind?"

She nodded her head.

"The stupid agency did send him so many applications but he didn't manage to make a choice. But then about two weeks ago, he suddenly discovered one that he hired without even talking to her beforehand. I wonder how she managed to convince him. She probably sent him a topless pic or something like that."

"Hmm,"

"Well, he probably had to pick someone rather quickly."

"Oh, Mrs…what's your name now? Swan? You really don't know anything about the way your husband thinks. Edward could have already hired a new secretary months ago. Instead he let me deal with stupid apprentices that almost wet their panties whenever he looked at them longer than two seconds."

"Miss Denali, I assure you that it doesn't interest Bella one tiny bit with whom her ex-husband sleeps now."

"Oh, he's not sleeping with her, at least not yet. Like, I told you, they have only spoken on the phone so far. I'm the one who had to explain everything to her last week. Edward wrote some sort of paragraph into my contract that says I have to train his new secretary."

"Can you give us her phone number? Maybe that woman would to talk to us."

"I can, if you want to have it. She won't keep the job for long anyway, I assume. God, this Miss Mallory is even worse as a secretary than me."


	78. Chapter 78

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers to another episode of your very favorite soap-fanfic.

This chapter here is dedicated to **SiempreCrystleClear** and **mydsgirl**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 78****

"Open," she instructed, letting the cold thermometer slip between my lips.

"D…f…t..ff..i…nece…ss..ary?"

She giggled and nodded her head before she pulled it out of my mouth.

"Trust me, I know exactly what I'm doing, Bella."

"You make me feel like some medical project."

"It is kind of. Your temperature looks pretty good by the way. I think it's not long until…,"

"Auntie Ali, are you and mommy playing doctor together?"

"Hmm, yes, honey, kind of." She tried to suppress a giggle.

I sighed deeply and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"I don't understand why he hired Lauren as his secretary. She and I haven't spoken more than two words to each other since we finished School."

Ali wrapped her arms around me and buried her face into the messy curls of my long chestnut hair.

"Bella, we need to stop thinking about it all the time. You need to stop thinking about it all the time. Edward probably chose her because he thought it would piss you off when he hired someone that you knew."

I sighed deeply and tried to start reading the contract that Zafrina had showed me earlier over again. It still didn't make any sense to me. How could I have been so stupid to sign that damn thing without reading it beforehand? I guess, I had been far too busy with the whole pregnancy and mourning my father thing.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Is Fido going to die? He still doesn't want to eat anything of the stuff I'm trying to feed him."

"No, sweetie, he's not dying." I told her quickly, when I realized the horrified expression on her tiny face.

At least I hope he won't. That would make her so miserable. Should I prepare her for the case it did happen? No, I couldn't do that. She would freak.

"Maybe the dog just isn't very hungry right now. Look, when you're sick, you don't want to eat either."

"Hmm,"

She kneeled down next to him and starting stroking the fluffy fur under his chin. A low purr that was barely audible left his throat.

"I hate Daddy." she stated suddenly, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"It's his fault that Fido is sick now."

"I know, sweetie. You still shouldn't hate your daddy. It's just not right."

"Is Daddy going to stay in jail?"

I nodded my head and sighed deeply before I spoke up again.

"Yes, he will. He won't come back here."

"Are we going to live here now?"

"No, Lilly, we're going back to Seattle as soon as Fido is stable enough to travel."

"Good, because I'm missing Jane and my room back home. It's so boring here."

"Benjamin and Angela will come here to visit us today to bring some of your toys and other stuff."

"Are they going to stay with us?"

"No, sweetie; have you forgotten that I told you that Angela's mommy lives here. They are going to stay at her house."

"But why can't we all stay here and have a slumber party together. Jane says…,"

The doorbell rang and I stood up to open the door, instantly cursing myself for the hint of fear that spread through me. Edward can't hurt you anymore, I tried to calm myself.

"Hi, Bella," Mike greeted me, trying to make his voice sound cheerful. He almost sucked as much at pretending something than I did.

"Hi, Mike. How's it going?"

"Jess won't let me see Jamie because she's angry at me for letting her BFF show up at the station."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't have to be. It's not your fault. I just feel bad for the little one. He doesn't understand what's going on between me and his mother."

"Hmm, I see. It's difficult for Lilly too."

"What is difficult for me to understand?" she asked me, when we entered the living room.

Damn it. She heard that.

"That mommy and daddy are angry at each other; well and all the other things that happened in the last time."

She wrapped her arms around Fido's head and planted a kiss on his snout.

"Adults are weird sometimes, aren't the, Fido?"

"What? Who told you that?"

"Jasmine."

I wondered what other kind of crap she was telling her during her so-called therapy lessons. Maybe it would confuse her more than she already was.

"Did Lauren tell you anything that could be useful for us?" I asked Mike while I sat down next to Ali on the couch and wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

"Not that much. She said that she got the job at Edward's office over an agency. He was obviously thrilled that she's from Forks. Maybe he didn't know that the two of you don't get along that well."

"And now?"

"We can't do anything about her telling her boss where you were. She didn't know about the restraining order and he told her that he wanted to surprise you."

"Fucking liar, I'm so glad that Ali managed to knock him out."

"What is Lauren going to do now, will she go back to work for Jessica's dad?"

"She said that she wants to continue working for Edward. He paid her more than she makes here in four months. Well, her new boss is in jail and won't come out anytime soon, so I guess it's really easy money for her. Oh and Bella, we can't do anything about him entering this house because technically, I mean on paper, it's his."

"But he broke the restraining order. Edward is not supposed to…,"

"Yeah, I know. Your lawyer and the police from Seattle sent me the papers. It's because of that that he's still behind bars."

"Will he get transferred to Seattle?"

"What for? Don't you think we can handle him here? He's just an aggressive asshole. I wonder how…well, never mind, it's none of my business, Bella."

"No, I want to know. What can't you understand? That I married him?"

"No, that's easy to understand. He's rich like shit and he's what woman call 'good-looking'."

"Mike…"

"I'm not judging. We all fall in love with the wrong person from time to time. What I don't understand is how you could sign the house over to him? You know how much it meant to Charlie."

"I don't remember signing the damn contract. God, when Charlie died I was so…shocked and Edward was always around me. He was so…well; it felt protective to me back then."

XXXX

"So, this is where you grew up." Benjamin stated walking around in the small kitchen. His fingertips touched one of the yellow painted cabinets before he turned to us again.

"It's cozy. The house, I mean. But this town is such a backwater. I kind of understand why you and Ela didn't want to stay here."

"Hmm,"

"How's your father?" I asked him, pulling out a bottle of orange juice from the fridge to pour him a glass.

"He's fine. At least that is what he's telling us. Ela is trying to convince to have that surgery but he's stubborn. He doesn't want to be cut open. I guess he's just scared because of all the crap my mother went through."

"Probably," I mumbled while my fingertips caressed the spikey ends of Ali's short hair.

She cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up.

"Look, we don't have much time before Angela comes back with Lilly and we really wanted to talk to you again."

"Talk to me about what?"

"About the donor thing," I stumbled out, instantly trying to avoid eye-contact with him.

"Oh that,"

"Yes, that." Ali stated while she sat down on my lap and wrapped her arms around me.

"We really want you as the donor for our baby."

"You already told me that, Ali. And you also know my opinion on the whole subject."

I nodded my head and sighed deeply.

"We're really sorry about the way our conversation about it went last time. We should have thought better about the way that would make you feel."

"And now?"

"We thought that it would be good if we talked about it again. You tell us what you expect…or what you want and we'll try to figure out how we can make it work."

"Ali and you, the two of you really want this baby, don't you?"

"Yes, we do. It means so much to us. We really want to start a family together."

"What are you going to tell him or her when the child asks about the father?"

"The truth of course," Ali stated, taking his hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"Please, say, yes. It would mean so much to us."

"Are you going to let me see the baby when I want to?"

"You can visit the baby whenever you want to but it is going to live with us."

"Kay, that's fine with me. It's not that we have enough space back home for a toddler. My father would probably freak if I showed up with an infant…,"

"Your father would freak about what?" Angela asked him curiously, when she and Lilly entered the kitchen. Fido immediately turned to the bowl of water at the other side of the kitchen floor.

"He ate some grass while we were at the park. Isn't that weird? I told him not to do that. He's a dog and not a cow."

"Hmm,"

"Benjamin, what did you do to make your father freak? Jeez, I already told you that you should try not to provoke him all the time. Carlisle said that…,"

"I did not make him freak. Don't worry. I know exactly what Carlisle told us about his heart. Have you forgotten that I was there during that conversation?"

"No, I haven't. You seemed to have found that part when your father compared the surgery to Frankenstein's methods extremely amusing."

"Oh, come on, Ela. You can't tell me that the way Carlisle described the whole electro-shocking the heart afterwards didn't remind you of a horror movie too."

"You are impossible. I'm worried sick and you're making fun about the whole thing."

"I'm worried too."

"You don't look too worried to me."

"Because I know that everything is going to be fine once he had the surgery. I keep telling me that all the time."

"Hmm,"

"Lilly, sweetie, you look tired. Do you want to lie down a bit before we eat?"

She nodded her head and turned to Angela.

"Are you coming with me? You tell the best stories apart from Jasmine."

As soon as she was out of the room, I grabbed my hand around Benjamin's wrist.

"Are you in now?"

"That's a strange way of saying it, but yes, I'm in. Tell me when you want to handle this whole…baby making project and I'll be ready."


	79. Chapter 79

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of your favorite Soap-fan fiction.

This chapter here is dedicated to **Silva86** and **Villemo79**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 79****

_Ali's POV_

"Are you nervous?" I asked her, while I planted a soft kiss on the exposed skin of her neck. My fingers twisted into the length of her chestnut colored hair and once again I was impressed by its incredible silkiness.

"Are you?" she whispered, slowly turning her head so that I could cup her face in my hand before I kissed her mouth so lightly that her lips were barely touching each other.

"Kind of, I've never done something like that before." I mumbled while I pulled her closer to me. My heartbeat quickened instantly when she caressed the small stripe of exposed skin on my belly.

"Me too," she whispered, planting a tender kiss on my mouth. The tip of her tongue slipped between my lips to nudge gently against the inside of my lower lip.

"What about Lilly?"

"She wasn't exactly planned." she explained to me, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have her. She's a gift, a much welcomed and cherished gift."

"I know, sweetheart. I love her too."

She took my hand in hers and started drawing fine, invisible circles all over my wrist.

"And I love you, Ali. I love you so much more than words could ever say."

I cupped her face between my hands and leaned forward to plant another kiss on her soft lips.

"Are you sure about this? Because once we've done it, there is no turning back. Well, at least not for me."

I quickly shook my head and interlaced the fingers of her left hand with mine, making the fragile metal of our wedding bands clink against each other.

"We're in this together."

"But maybe we should have discussed other options too?"

"What kind of other options, adoption maybe? Bella, the authorities aren't really keen on giving children to couples like us."

"I wasn't talking about adoption."

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember when Rosalie told Benjamin about the in-vitro and he mentioned something about putting the wrong egg into the wrong womb."

"I don't think I understand?"

She cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up.

"I know the idea sounds a little bit weird but I actually thought about it. We could take one of your eggs and implant it into me…kind of."

"You're right. The idea is weird and not just a little bit."

"But it would make this baby more…yours."

I shook my head and took her hand in mine to squeeze it gently. Then I put it to my lips and planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

"No, it wouldn't."

"Of course, it would. It would mean that the baby is genetically yours."

I sighed deeply and started drawing fine, invisible lines all over the soft skin on her wrist.

"You think this is about genetics? I'm giving you a clue. You're wrong."

Hesitantly I placed her hand on my flat stomach before I spoke up again.

"I don't care that the baby won't be mine – genetically. What I wanted to know is how it feels like to have a baby inside of me. I want to know how it feels when it kicks, when you feel it growing inside of you...stuff like that."

"Look, I'm sorry, Ali."

"How often will I have to tell you to stop telling me you're sorry?" I asked her impatiently.

"I know you don't like it when I do it. It's just…,"

She cupped my face between her hands and planted a tender kiss on my mouth, letting the tip of her tongue gently caress my lower lip.

"You make me so happy and my life is so much better since I have you in my life. I want to do the same for you."

We sat down on the couch and I started massaging her scalp with my fingertips when she rested her head in my lap.

"You do make me happy. And that you agreed to have this baby with me makes me even happier."

I leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose.

"I bet you'll be a cute pregnant woman."

"Don't get your hopes too high. There is a reason why there are not many pictures of me when I was expecting Lilly. I looked like a whale ready to explode."

"I highly doubt that. I bet you were pretty. God, I really wished I could make you see yourself the way I see you."

"Hmm,"

"Can I ask you something? What did you tell Angela when she picked up Lilly?"

She cleared her throat nervously.

"Well, I told her that you and I needed to have some alone time after all the stress in the last days."

"My wife is finally learning to lie properly."

I suppressed a chuckle and nuzzled my nose into the crock of her neck.

"I have to keep an eye on that…,"

"It was a white lie and technically we're going to have some alone time. You don't want Benjamin to be around during the entire…procedure."

"You don't want me around when?"

Benjamin asked us cheerfully, when he entered the living room, swallowing the rest of the milkshake he was holding in his right hand down in one gulp.

"When we do the insemination," Bells stumbled out, her face instantly blushing thee different shades of red.

"Don't worry. It's not like I'm keen on watching two girls getting at it."

He put one finger in his mouth and made some puking noise before he burst out into laughter.

"The magazines you bought for me are pretty good though. I think they'll do the job for me pretty fine."

"I hope they will because there is no way I'm ever returning to that video store." Bella stated, still embarrassed that the guy in the store had remembered her from school.

"The magazines are enough, don't worry. Can I ask you what the disinfection stuff is for?"

"For your hands and well…you know where else…,"

"You're being ridiculous. Where is the damn cup anyway?"

I walked into the kitchen to get it.

"Is it pink because the two of you are hoping for a girl?"

"No, it's not. We just bought that because it was wrapped sterile."

"Do you have some hidden phobia concerning germs?"

"We're just following the instructions from that homepage."

"I've been on that site too. It is run by a bunch of complete morons that should better consider doing some therapy instead of putting children in the world."

"Yes, I know. The tips were pretty useful though or they will be hopefully."

"Hmm,"

He planted a kiss on my cheek and waved with the pink cup.

"I'm going upstairs then."

"Should we wish you luck or something like that?"

"That's not the first time I'm doing that. Well, actually the first time like that, but I guess you know what I mean."

XXXX

I could feel how tensed she was and so I started massaging her neck and shoulders with my fingertips to help her relax a bit more. This wasn't going to work when she was too nervous.

"Close your eyes, honey." I whispered letting my fingertips slip underneath the top she was wearing while my tongue swirled over the sensitive spot right beneath her earlobe. The sweet scent of her strawberry shampoo entered my nose and I inhaled deeply to absorb as much of it as possible.

I cupped her full breasts in my hands, rolling my thumbs over the hardening tips of her nipples. When I squeezed them gently between my fingers a low moan escaped her throat.

I pulled her jeans down her thighs and started running my fingertips over the cotton fabric of her panties. She wasn't wet, at least not enough but I knew exactly what it would take to make her melt from the inside out.

Very lightly I brushed my fingers up and down her barely covered slit, making her whimper slightly when my thumb circled over the sensitive bundle of nerves around the pearl of her clit.

Then I shoved her underwear down her legs, throwing it carelessly on the ground next to us.

Slowly I kissed my way down her upper body, swirling my tongue around her pebbled nipples while my fingers tenderly explored the soft folds between her legs. More wetness poured over my fingers and I coated my fingertips in it before I started rubbing circles over her throbbing pearl.

When I kneeled down between her legs and started kissing up the inside of her thighs she twisted her hands into my hair to pull me close.

I licked her moist inner lips with the tip of my tongue and circled it up and down her entire slit, from the tiny pearl of her clit back down to her entrance.

My thumb circled over her clit, feeling it pulsate against my skin. I inserted my tongue into the warm, moist sweetness of her lust, curling it upwards to lap up as much of her essence as possible.

A moment later her inner walls tightened around my waiting tongue and a wave of new wetness poured down my throat. She gasped for air and pulled me up again, planting several kisses all over my face.

I pulled the blankets over her and put a wisp of her beautiful hair behind her ear before I tenderly kissed her warm lips.

"You taste like me." she mumbled and I couldn't hold back a moan when her tongue nudged against mine.

There was a knock on the door and I planted a kiss on the tip of her nose before I stood up from the edge of the bed and closed the door behind me.

"You look a little flushed, Ali. Maybe you should turn on the air conditioning."

"I'm just a little warm that's all. Thank you. Where did you…,"

"I left the cup in the bathroom."

"Thanks," I mumbled so low that my voice was barely audible.

"You're nervous about this, aren't you?"

I nodded my head and sighed deeply.

"Yes, I am. This is such a weird way of making a baby."

"Try not to think too much of it. Bella and you are going to be great moms."

"Maybe I'll suck at the whole being a mom thing. I mean, I've never been a mother before."

"Ali, there is not just one way of being a mother and you'll be wonderful, I just know, you'll be."

I wrapped my arms around him and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you. Not just for the…well, for being the donor but also for being you. You're the best brother anyone could wish for."

He kissed me on my forehead before he walked down the stairs and I rushed into the bathroom to grab the cup with the 'precious liquid'.

When I put the lid off I instantly wrinkled my nose in disgust.

It looked like a mixture of egg white and some milky slime. So gross, I thought. I can't believe that straight women swallow that.

I walked back into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed that squeaked slightly beneath me.

"Ready?"

"If you are," she whispered nervously, forcing her lips into a smile.

"I love you."

She took the cup in her hands and I pulled the small plastic syringe out. The _stuff_ made a slurping nose when it filled the syringe.

"Lay back and try to relax." I instructed and planted a soft kiss on her left hipbone.

Then I placed the syringe at her entrance and carefully shoved it into her, gently pressing upwards.

I tried to focus on the expression of her face that lost the tension when I pulled the syringe out again and quickly shoved two pillows under her backside and pulled her legs up in the air.

"You're not going to make me do a handstand, are you?"

I giggled and cupped her face in my hands to plant kisses all over her face.

"I don't think that's necessary."

Her eyes met mine and when I realized that they looked kind of glassy, I wrapped my arms around her, letting her head rest on my thighs while I sat down behind her on the bed.

"Do you feel different yet?"

"Ali, it doesn't work _that_ fast."

"Hmm, I know. I just wanted to know if you're okay."

"I'm fine, don't worry."

A small teardrop rolled down her cheekbone and I quickly wiped it away with my fingertip.

"Why are you crying? You're not in pain, are you?"

She shook her head.

"I don't know why I'm crying. Maybe it's because I'm still so nervous."

I kissed her mouth before I leaned over and planted another one right underneath her belly button.

"Don't be nervous." It's enough that I'm so nervous, I added secretly.

"Can you tell me something to distract me?"

"If you want me to… What do you want me to tell you?"

"You never told be anything about your life in Paris and I'm really curious about that."

I cringed and swallowed hard to keep my voice calm when I spoke up again. Paris was irrevocably connected with the ginger-haired woman who had ripped my heart apart so many months ago. Sometimes it felt like a complete different life to me. Maybe it was.

"Paris is beautiful." I stated finally, twisting a wisp of her hair around my finger.

"But my life with you is going to be a thousand times better."

**XOXXOXXOOXXOXOXOXXO**

[A/N]

I wonder if anyone of you would be interested in reading the whole Victoria/Alice background story. Tell me your thoughts about it.

I'm going to 'celebrate' my third twenty-ninth birthday this Saturday. So, please press the review button down there and leave me some love.


	80. Chapter 80

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] This chapter is the background story for the whole Ali/Victoria mess and I think that I should give you a little warning that some ugly things going to happen in this one.

****Chapter 80****

_****Forget Paris****_

_Fire, I thought, wrapping one of the long curls around my finger. It looks like fire, like thousands of orange colored flames glimmering in the sunlight. Her hair was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. My heart skipped a beat when I slowly leaned forward to pull it over her shoulder to plant a kiss on her bare shoulder._

"_Hmm,"_

_She turned around and blinked into my face. The black eye-makeup was smeared a little bit but I still thought her pretty. I can't believe she agreed to go home with me last night. I'm such a lucky girl._

"_Did I wake you up?"_

"_Yes you did, but that's okay. I have an appointment in two hours and have to get back to my apartment before that anyway."_

_I cupped her face between my hands and planted a soft kiss on her full mouth. The tip of her tongue swirled over my lower lip until I gasped for air and she plugged her tongue into my mouth. Her hands moved under the cotton fabric of my shirt where her fingertips gently moved over the tips of my breasts, squeezing my hardening nipples between thumb and forefinger. God, the things she could do to my body._

_A low moan escaped my throat and I whimpered slightly when her other hand slipped between my thighs._

"_Do you have a vibrator or something like that?" she whispered into my ear, grazing its shell with her front teeth._

_My face blushed into a crimson color and I hoped that she was too occupied with other stuff to notice it. Jeez, no one apart from me blushes anymore._

_She chuckled slightly and pulled back to plant several kisses down my collarbone._

"_I was just teasing you. I know that you don't have one. It's so cute how innocent you are."_

"_I'm not innocent." I stumbled out, cursing myself when my voiced raised two octaves. How embarrassing._

_Her eyes moved to the electric alarm clock on the other side of the bed._

"_Crap, I'm already late. We'll make up for that later. Do you want to come over to my place?"_

_I nodded my head and pressed my thighs against each other to lessen a bit of the aching tension between them. _

_She stood up from the bed and twisted her hair into a messy bun at the end of her neck._

"_Can we have some coffee before I have to leave?"_

"_The machine isn't working. Abby tried to use it without an adapter and the damn thing almost exploded."_

"_Too bad,"_

_Then she cleared her throat before she spoke up again._

"_This place is a dump. It's too small and the light in here is terrible. How can you live and work here?"_

"_Paris is expensive and as I haven't given up on eating food…"_

_I wrinkled my nose in disgust when I thought about how I had caught two of my modeling roommates swallowing cotton with orange juice. God, it was so ridiculous how desperate some women tried to keep themselves skinny. Weren't women supposed to be round and curvy?_

"_Didn't you tell me that your father is a surgeon?"_

"_Hmm, yes he is. What has that to do with me living here?"_

"_Your father is a doctor and is okay with you living in this…hole?"_

_I sighed deeply and crossed my arms in front of my chest._

"_My father was against me going here, so I highly doubt that he cares about the...circumstances of my stay."_

"_Why would he be against it? You're really talented and I'm not saying that because we fucked."_

_The way she said fucked sent another wave of warmth straight to my face, turning it again into a delicate crimson color._

"_Thanks for telling me I'm talented. No one has ever done that before."_

"_You're welcome. I'm just telling the truth. Those sketches you showed me last night, they're brilliant. When are you going to sew the dresses? A friend of mine is having a fashion show in a hotel next week."_

"_I'm afraid I won't be able to sew anything in the next days unless I want to sleep under a bridge next month."_

"_Call your parents and ask them to send you more money, simple as that."_

_You have no idea, I thought bitterly while I forced myself to take several deep breaths to keep the tears from falling. _

"_I don't want to take my father's money." I whispered so low that my voice was barely audible. Still I feared that she would be able to notice the tremble in it._

"_You're a strange girl, Ali. But at least that's a new for me."_

"_Hmm,"_

"_I have to go now. Call me later. I have bought so many new toys and I'm dying to test them with someone."_

_She licked her lower lip and I felt a fresh wave of wetness soaking the thin material of my underwear._

_As soon as she was out of the room I reached for the phone and dialed the number of my best friend._

"_Hello?"_

"_Hi Jazz, it's me."_

"_Did something happen? That's the first time you're calling at a decent time."_

"_I'm sorry about the last times. I tend to forget that you're on the other side of the world right now."_

"_It's okay, beautiful."_

"_Look, I can't really talk long, because the others are so going to kill me for the damned phone bill but I really wanted to tell you about her."_

"_Her? You met a woman? Is she French?"_

"_From Canada. She moved here from Montreal after her divorce."_

"_She was married to a guy? Arg, that's gross. Have you forgotten all the things I've warned you about? Interfering with bisexual people will lead to nothing but trouble."_

"_It's not like that."_

"_Yeah, of course, it's not like that. Let me guess, she's different from the other cock-loving bitches."_

"_You're mean. She's really nice and pretty too."_

"_Did you sleep with her?"_

_There was a hint of jealousy in her voice although she clearly tried to suppress it._

"_That's none of your business."_

"_So you did. I just hope she didn't give you some STI or other crap."_

"_You're impossible. Maybe she's going to be the love of my life and you're already insulting her."_

"_Oh, Ali, you're really still a child."_

"_No, I'm not."_

"_Trust me, you are. Have you spoken to your father yet?"_

"_What for? He made it pretty clear how he thinks about me being here."_

"_The two of you are both so impossibly stubborn. It's ridiculous."_

"_I'm not stubborn. My father is the one that can't accept that I'm not his little girl anymore."_

"_Darlin', you'll always be his little girl no matter how old you get."_

"_Hmm. Have you talked to my mother or my sister in the last time?"_

"_I talked to Rosalie when she was here in the hospital for some fertility tests or stuff like that."_

"_And my mom?"_

"_How about calling her yourself if you're so curious."_

"_I called her after my brother's wedding and she cried the entire time. I'm not keen on experiencing that again."_

"_Jeez, Ali, that was almost four months ago and I still think that you should let me rip your stupid brother a new one for telling you not to show up at the wedding. That was a low blow even for Edward."_

"_I don't care. His wife is probably an annoying person anyway."_

"_If she married your brother, she can't be that smart. Anyway, I don't like it when you use me like some sort of hidden messenger."_

"_Please, I really miss my mom and you know that."_

"_Fine, Ali. Your mother is pretty thrilled of the little copper head your dipshit of a brother managed to produce."_

"_The baby is there?"_

"_Yes it is. Poor thing looks exactly like Edward. I think that Esme told me that they're going to name her after your grandmother."_

_**XXXXX**_

_The next six months were the most exciting, most magical in my entire life. My heart felt as if it was going to burst from all the love that filled me whenever I looked at my fire-haired lover. She was everything I had ever wished for in a woman, beautiful and smart and sophisticated. She introduced me to a lot of important people while showing me off like a precious little jewel that she had discovered. Okay, technically she had discovered me._

_The first time she told me that she loved me we had been sitting in a small café directly underneath the Eiffel Tower. If that ain't true love, I don't know…_

_I quickly checked my reflection in my tiny hand mirror before I knocked on the door of her apartment. She didn't answer but that probably just meant that she was still in the shower. The thought of feeling her slippery wet body pressed against mine sent a pleasant wave of lust down to my core._

_Quickly I searched for the spare key she had hidden underneath a flower pot. What was it that everyone assumed that stupid flower pots were the perfect place to hide keys?_

_There was a weird noise coming from her bedroom that instantly reminded me of an animal that was about to die a terrible painful death._

_But when I kicked the door open, I was the one who wished she could die. Die that very moment or at least faint to get out of this disgusting situation as quickly as possible._

_He saw me even before she realized that I was there and a smile flashed over his stupid grinning face when he licked his lip greedily._

"_You didn't tell me that we're going to have some company tonight, Vic."_

_She chuckled and climbed from his lap, wiping a trail of sweaty pearls from her cleavage._

"_Hi Ali, I didn't expect you here that soon."_

"_You….he, what the fuck is going on here?" My voice raised two octaves and I suddenly felt way too dizzy to remain standing. _

_I sat down at the edge of the bed as far away from him as possible._

_The asshole smirked and when I accidentally got a glimpse of his little or not so little you know that I mean it twitched like a dog's tail in excitement._

"_Okay, Ali, this is James. He's a photographer for that new magazine I told you about."_

"_It doesn't look like a photo shoot to me, Victoria. Damn it, what the fuck, do you think you're doing?"_

"_Honey, isn't that obvious? We're having some fun."_

"_But you're with me! You told me that you love me. How can you let him touch you?"_

"_Don't be jealous now. This is just sex."_

_She wrapped one arm around my shoulder and planted a kiss on my cheek._

"_Try to relay. There is so much fun that the three of us could have."_

_The guy nodded his head and reached his hand out to put a wisp of my long hair behind my ear._

"_She's a little looker. I wonder how she looks like underneath that dress."_

"_Don't touch me!"_

_He chuckled and leaned forward to cup Victoria's face roughly between his hands. When his tongue slipped into her mouth his eyes kept focused on me. It made him look like a predator ready to attack his prey._

"_Aren't you curious, Ali? Think of all the wonderful things I've showed you. Once you've felt a real cock inside you, you'll never want to go back to that plastic stuff."_

"_Don't you love me at all? How can you suggest things like that?"_

_She took my hand and put it to her breast. Her skin was smooth and smelled like coconut oil. I bet that he put that stuff all over her body._

"_You're so naïve. Love has nothing to do with sex."_

"_Victoria is right. Love is for losers. Now come here."_

"_No,"_

"_Tell him to leave."_

"_He's staying and you should too, if you want to see me again."_

"_You can't expect me to agree to a threesome."_

"_Why not, Ali? Didn't you promise me that you would do anything for me? Or was that a lie?"_

"_No, it wasn't."_

"_Then stop acting like a stupid, boring prude."_

_I swallowed hard while I tried to struggle with the disgust and fear inside of me. She wasn't going to make me do this, was she?_

_James, the guy, chuckled when she started pulling down the zipper of my dress._

"_She's still a virgin, is she?"_

"_Depends on how you define virgin, James." She told him in a seductive voice._

"_No other man has touched her before. That makes her virgin enough to me no matter which kind of stuff you shoved into her tight pussy."_

"_Victoria, tell him to stop talking like that."_

"_Calm down, James. You're scaring her. And you baby need to relax. This is going to be fun. You don't know how often I fantasized about the three of us together. I want to go down on you while he fucks me from behind. Or you could suck him off while you play with me; oh god, so many possibilities."_

"_I really like the idea of having her pretty little mouth wrapped around my cock."_

"_You've heard him, get on your knees."_

_He grabbed my hair and pulled me closer towards him, waving with his thing in front of my face._

"_Open your mouth,"_

_I pressed my lips against each other and hoped that he would get that hint. Unfortunately I wasn't that lucky._

"_Vic, your pretty girlfriend here seems to be a little bit on the shy side. Maybe she could need some encouragement."_

_She chuckled and took my hand in hers before she wrapped it around his length._

"_Open your mouth, sweetie. It tastes good, trust me."_

_I opened my mouth and swirled my tongue hesitantly over the glistening head of his cock. It didn't taste good and when he groaned I had to swallow some vomit back in my mouth._

_Quickly I stood up from the bed again, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand._

"_I'm sorry but I can't do that, Vic. It's just too much. I love you but I won't touch him. That's just disgusting."_

"_If you truly loved me you would do me that little favor. It's no big deal. You don't even have to let him come in your mouth if you don't want to."_

"_If you loved me you wouldn't suggest such disgusting stuff. You know what? I'm out here."_

"_Ali, don't be like that."_

_I grabbed my handbag and my jacket from the floor and rushed down the stairs._

_When I was back in my apartment half an hour later I locked myself up in the tiny bathroom at the end of the corridor and turned on the shower as hot as possible before I stepped out of my clothes._

_The water burned on my skin but I stayed there and rubbed my entire body with a rough cloth in an attempt to lessen the disgusting feeling of being stained with invisible dirt. Finally the water turned from hot to freezing cold and I stepped out of the shower when my teeth started chattering._

_I wrapped a towel around my quivering body and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. My fingertips moved over my dry lips and when I thought about what I had done…or had almost done, my stomach heaved and I threw up right on the bathroom floor._

_Then I curled into a ball in a corner of the tiny room, while I tried to compose myself enough to stand up again. It didn't work and so I just stayed there and cried until nothing but dry sobs escaped my throat and my heart splintered into dozens of tiny pieces that would probably never be whole again._


	81. Chapter 81

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Anyone still left who's reading this story? I felt so bad after posting the last chapter because I knew that people would not be too thrilled about it. Unfortunately it's impossible to please anyone and you got to have a little trust in me that I love the story (way more than I probably should) and that I had to write this chapter because…well, you'll find out about it later, I promise.

I feel bad for all the crap, I'm putting Ali through and I actually cry a lot when I write those parts. Real life is like that sometimes. A lot of bad things happen to good people. Anyway, for those of you, who are still with me, I hope you'll enjoy the new update.

This one here is dedicated to **aquarius127** and **mydsgirl**. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

****Chapter 81****

"I'm afraid there is no way to sugarcoat things for you, Esme." Zafrina stated while she sipped on the plastic cup of coffee in her hands.

Esme sighed deeply and looked as if she was about to burst out in tears any moment. I should have known that it would be a stupid idea when she called to come over to our house. We had just returned to our house in Seattle about two hours ago and Lilly was already on the phone with that little witch child. At least she would be distracted in case her grandmother was about to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of our living room.

"This whole situation is so terrible. I don't understand how he could do something so awful while the little one was there."

She took a deep breath through her nose and searched for something in her handbag, a tissue probably.

"Yeah, we all don't understand how Edward could do those things, but the fact is that they happened. And above all the crap he managed to come up with…,"

"Miss Penthes, do you think it's necessary to torture her with the ugly facts?"

"Trust me, Miss Whitlock it is. Esme is not some breakable doll. She needs to know the truth, so that she can prepare herself for the things to come."

What kind of things? I thought while I started playing with the spikey ends of Ali's dark hair.

"Does he have to stay down there in Forks until the trial?"

Zafrina shook her head and gave Jasmine a dirty look when she added some more milk into her coffee cup. The way the two of them acted together was quite amusing to outsiders.

"His lawyer arranged that he's going to be transferred back here to Seattle in the next two weeks."

"Oh that's good news; at least he will be close to home than."

I didn't agree with her in that one at all but I pressed my lips together and decided that it would be best if I just kept my mouth shut.

"Hmm, where was I? Oh right, above all the things that your son managed to come up in the last month. He even dared to commit the worst possible crime in this country."

"Murder? He didn't kill anyone, did he? Oh God, this is not really happening!" A dry sob escaped Esme's throat and Ali put one arm around her mother's quivering shoulder in an attempt to calm her down a bit.

Zafrina chuckled slightly. What the hell was there left to laugh about now?

"You're watching too many bad TV shows, Esme. The worst crime in this country isn't murder. It's tax fraud."

"Tax fraud? Are you kidding me?"

"No, I'm serious about that. The American State doesn't like it at all when people try to steal its money."

"I don't think I understand." I mumbled, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"Isn't Edward supposed to stay in jail for breaking the damn restraining order?"

"Hmm, yes partly but the thing he's going to have most trouble with is indeed the tax fraud."

"That's weird."

"No, it's not. That's logical at least for someone with a hint of juristic knowledge."

"In other words, it's completely stupid when you look at it with common sense." Jasmine stated, twisting her hair into a sloppy ponytail.

"I'm afraid that common sense isn't going to help in this case."

"Then it's good that we have you…for all that what is beyond common sense."

"Was that a compliment, Miss Whitlock?"

"If you want to see it as one…,"

A smile flashed over Zafrina's face before she cleared her throat and turned to Esme again.

"Your son is definitely going to jail, for several years probably."

"Isn't there anything that we can do about that? My husband is going to lose it when he hears of this."

"Esme, I assure you that your husband is already aware of these things. Try to convince your son to get his mental status tested that's the only thing that I can suggest right now. It won't help him deal with the tax fraud thing though."

"I don't understand how he managed to do something so completely ridiculous like that. I mean, what was he thinking?"

"It's hard to tell what goes on in your sons mind. That is probably going to stay a secret forever."

"Can't we just pay the tax fraud back? How much money are we talking about?"

"Well, he kind of inherited a house and didn't tell the authorities about that."

"What do you mean; he kind of inherited a house? Are you talking about Carlisle's mothers' house in Chicago?"

"No, I'm talking about the house in Forks."

"In Forks? Why in heaven's name would he inherit a house in Forks? He doesn't even know anyone down there."

"He made Bella sign some papers after her father died so suddenly."

"Charlie Swan's house? I still don't understand why he would have wanted to keep that house. It's small and old-fashioned."

She started biting her fingernails nervously before she spoke up.

"Maybe he did that for you, Bella."

"For me? Is this supposed to be a joke? He practically stole half of my father's house away from me." My voice raised two octaves and I had to take several deep breaths to keep me from doing something stupid.

"Mom, maybe it's better when we talk about this another time. We're all tired from the flight."

XXXX

"That was awful." She mumbled, while she wrapped her arms around me from behind and planted a soft kiss on my neck.

I nodded my head and sighed deeply.

"You're right about that. The whole conversation with your mother was awful. But she actually made me think about something. It really doesn't make sense that Edward would want to own that house. He had this one, plus that in Chicago and that's comparable to a palace."

"Hmm,"

Her hand moved underneath my shirt to caress the skin underneath my belly button.

"Are you feeling different yet?"

"Why? Oh, you mean that." I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"Yes, that. Do you feel anything?"

"No, I don't. It's too soon to tell if everything worked out."

"I really hope it did."

I turned around and cupped her face between my hands. Then I brushed my thumb over her full lower lip before I leaned down to plant a tender kiss on her mouth. She smiled against my lips and a low moan escaped her throat when I slipped my tongue into the sweet warmth of her mouth.

"You have to tell once you start feeling different. I don't want to miss anything." Her caramel eyes sparkled in excitement.

"I promise, although I highly doubt that you're looking forward to holding my hair anytime I'll get sick."

"I wouldn't mind. My own stomach is pretty strong usually. When can we make the test?"

"In a few days…"

"So soon, we have to buy one when we go shopping tomorrow."

I suppressed a chuckle and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, pulling her on my lap to plant a kiss on her hair that smelled deliciously of fresh apples.

She jumped from my lap and almost stumbled over a box that was standing on the floor.

"Is something wrong?"

"We should be more careful. I don't want to accidentally hurt the baby with my weight."

Hurt the baby with her weight?

"You're kidding me, aren't you? The baby…if there is a baby that is…is probably the size of a match head right now."

I took Ali's hand in mine and placed it on my tummy again.

"You really don't have to worry. Feel all this fat? That is all going to work like a buffer. I could probably get kicked by an elephant and nothing would happen to the baby. Now come back to me."

Hesitantly she sat down on my lap again and I pulled her closer until she finally rested her head against my chest.

"Am I annoying you?"

"No, you aren't. It's actually cute that you care so much."

I put a wisp of her short hair behind her ear and grazed its shell with my teeth.

"I love you. So much more than words could ever say."

She turned her head and smiled at me while her fingertips caressed my face in feather light circles. I closed my eyes for a moment to enjoy her tender caress but then somehow, maybe because I was so exhausted I fell asleep in her arms.

XXXX

The first thing I realized about her when she opened the door for us was that she looked terrible. Her blue eyes were red and puffy and she hadn't even made the effort of covering the dark circles underneath them with makeup.

"Hi Rosie, are you okay? God, you look awful."

"I'm good, thanks. The twins are keeping me pretty busy. They kind of decided that it's too boring to sleep at the same time."

We followed her into the living room where Ali instantly lifted one of the babies out of his cradle.

"Hi Tegan, oh you've grown so much since I saw you the last time."

"That's Tennessee."

"But his shirt says that…,"

"Yeah, I know, Em dressed them this morning and he still can't tell which one is which."

The real Tegan started screaming way louder than such a tiny infant should be capable of and Rosalie sighed deeply before she lifted him up and started rocking him back and forth while she hummed something into his tiny ear.

"If you want to drink something make yourself at home. I'm sorry for being such a terrible host, but I'm pretty exhausted right now."

"Hmm, I can see that. Why aren't you hiring a nanny or something like that?"

"Are you telling me that I can't handle my kids on my own?" her tired voice raised two octaves.

"I don't need help from anyone."

Oh woman, I thought. You don't look as if you have enough time to wash your hair but if you don't want help…enjoy your two little tyrants as much as you like.

"Rosie, have you spoken to our brother yet?"

"When would I have time to speak to him? I haven't slept more than three hours in the last nights."

"It was just a question. Esme is pretty upset that he's in jail."

"I know, Bella. She's telling me about it every time she calls or shows up here and I'm really sick of that. Am I responsible for all the crap my younger siblings come up with?"

"No, you're not. Mom is probably just desperate. You know that she's such a sucker for harmony."

"Me too…"

Tennessee started whimpering and a noise that reminded me of a squeaking little duck left his throat.

"Shhh, please don't start crying now too."

She put one finger into his mouth and he sucked on it for a moment while she balanced the other twin on her shoulder. Everything would probably be a lot easier for her if she had another pair of arms on her body.

"Fine, that's my boy. You're not hungry again, are you?"

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"Edward is going to stay in jail. That is probably going to break your mother's heart and everything is our fault."

"No it's not. Stop staying that. My brother is the only one who is responsible for his actions."

"But this is going to break our family." Ali told her, her voice trembling with fear.

Rosalie shook her head and put the baby back into the cradle before she wrapped her arms around her sister.

"Don't be afraid. We're going to survive this."

"But mom…,"

"Our mother needs to realize that her son isn't as perfect as she thinks he is."

"Probably,"

"Definitely,"

Her eyes caught a glimpse of Ali's hand that rested on my abdomen. When I realized it, I quickly took her hand in mine and planted a kiss on the back of her hand.

"The two of you are having secrets, haven't you?"

I quickly shook my head and tried to cover my blushing face behind a curtain of my long hair. Ali's eyes met mine and when I saw the look in them, I had to swallow hard to keep tears from falling. She wanted this secret so much to be real, so much for it to work out, as if she somehow knew that this was what was going to give us hope in the next months.

**XOXOXOXXOXXOXOXXOXO**

[A/N] I've written a new one-shot that you could check out. It's called **'Waiting for June'** and is quite different from the stuff I usually write but if you're curious and have some time to spare, you could give it a try.

Next chapter for WTHN will probably be up tomorrow, if I find the motivation to write. Until next time, take care :-)


	82. Chapter 82

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] This chapter here is dedicated to **Shelley421** and **Madmum**. Hope, you'll enjoy!

****Chapter 82****

"It's green," she stated, turning the small plastic stripe around in her fingers.

"What do you mean, it is green? It's not supposed to be green."

"But it's green."

I splashed some water on my face and twisted my hair into a ponytail. When I checked my reflection in the mirror I realized that I looked horrible. But what could you expect at 6 A.M. in the morning?

"You're still tired, aren't you?" she asked me when she kneeled down next to me on the bathroom floor.

I nodded my head and put one of her short curls behind her ear. She looked lovely as always. Even with her hair not done and without any makeup, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life. What a miracle that this amazing, gorgeous being had chosen me above all others…

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"It's still green and I don't think the color is going to change anymore."

I grabbed the instructions and read through them again.

"It says nothing about the stripe turning green. Blue is negative and pink positive but green….Are you sure it's green?"

"Of course, I'm sure. Just look."

She handed me the stripe and I realized that it as in deed green, grass green without the slightest hint of blue or pink.

"See, it's green. Maybe the test isn't working properly."

"We should have bought the other one, that with the nurse on the box. It made a way more professional impression to me."

"I bought that one when I had Lilly. It gave me two very secure weeks until I suddenly vomited my breakfast into my handbag."

"Hmm,"

"We can go to the hospital and let them do a test there."

"Fine, that's good. When can we go there?"

"At a decent time, Ali, it's just a stupid pregnancy test and not an emergency."

She cupped my face between her dainty hands and planted soft kisses all over my face.

"I'm sorry that I woke you up so early. I know that you don't really like getting up that soon."

"It's okay. Can we have some coffee now?"

She shook her head and leaned forward to kiss my mouth very lightly.

"No coffee for you. Do you want hot chocolate or something like that?"

I chuckled and twisted my hands into her hair.

"I have severe problems of functioning without coffee."

"How did you do that when you had Lilly?"

"There was no one around to tell me that told me what to eat and drink. And voila she still turned out healthy and fine."

"Are you telling me that I'm overreacting?"

"No, it just shows that you care."

There was a shy knock on the bathroom door before Lilly's copper head appeared in the doorframe.

"Did I sleep in?"

"No, honey, it's still early. Go back to sleep."

"Why are you both together in the bathroom?"

"We couldn't sleep anymore."

God, it was so embarrassing how much I sucked at the whole lying thing.

Ali cleared her throat nervously and stood up to run her fingers through Lilly's hair.

"Do you want to help me make breakfast for all of us?"

She nodded her head and walked around in the bathroom until her eyes caught sight of the small box that was standing on the basin.

Slowly she started reading what was written on top of it.

"Pre…preg..., that's such a long word. Mommy, what is that?"

"Nothing, sweetie,"

I grabbed the box and threw it into the trash.

"I want to know,"

"Sweetie, it's nothing. Now go with your aunt and help her with the breakfast."

She turned around and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Then she started nibbling on her lower lip.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"When am I finally old enough to use tampons?"

"What for? Ahm, maybe when you're twelve or something like that."

"But that's so long. I want to use some now."

"What for, Lilly?"

Please, I don't want to have that kind of conversation with her now, or in the next ten years. No, that wasn't even true. I didn't want to have that conversation with her ever.

"Come with me, sweetie. We'll give your mother some time to wake up."

"Auntie Ali, is something wrong?"

"No, honey, everything is fine. Don't worry."

Ali lifted her up and I fought the urge to tell her to stop carrying her around all the time. She was tall for her age and probably too heavy for her.

I wrapped my arms around her and tried to pull Lilly on my hip.

"Give her to me. She's too heavy for you."

"No, it's okay. You're the one who should be careful."

I planted a kiss on my daughter's hair before they walked out of the room and I remained there for several minutes. My hand still wrapped around the stupid test and waited for the things to come.

XXXX

She parked the car in front of the hospital and turned off the engine before she leaned over to me and planted a kiss on my mouth. I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her closer to me. My heart skipped a beat when the tip of her tongue swirled between my lips.

Someone honked next to us but I tried to ignore it. There were so many idiots around that seemed to see a couple of two women as some sort of invitation to god-knows what kind of sick things.

We entered the waiting hall of the hospital where it was once again terribly crowded and so we just sat down on the edge of a small plastic table that squeaked underneath me.

"Mary Alice? What are the two of you doing here? You're not feeling sick again, are you?"

Carlisle asked her worriedly and wrapped one hand around her wrist to check her pulse, while I somehow hoped that his pager would go on so that he would have to leave. Of course, I wasn't that lucky.

"Dad, I'm good. We're just here for some test…"

"What kind of test?"

"It's nothing. Don't you have work to do? Some crappy hearts to fix or stuff like that?"

He chuckled and put a wisp of her hair behind her ear.

"One of my surgeries was cancelled so I have some time to spare. Do you want to tell me why you're here?"

"It's nothing."

"You go to the hospital because of nothing?"

"Dad, please, this is embarrassing."

"I'm a doctor and you can trust me when I say that there is nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I highly doubt that."

"Hmm, whatever, if you prefer spending the entire day in this hall where you could catch all kinds of infections…,"

Ali's face next to me paled a few shades and I squeezed her hand in an attempt to tell her without words that everything would be alright.

"We are here for a pregnancy test." she mumbled, her voice so low that it was barely audible.

"For one of you?" he raised one eyebrow in confusion.

I nodded my head and my face blushed into three different shades of red.

He waved one of the nurses that were walking around to us and whispered something into her ear.

"Go with her, she's going to make the test for you."

XXXX

Ali seemed to be really worried about the whole infection risk that Carlisle had told her about. At least it was the only reason that I could think of that would make her spend almost an hour in her father's office with me instead of waiting for the test result in the hall.

"I'm sorry," he stated after a few awkward moments of silence.

"I don't think I understand."

He sighed deeply and took Ali's hand in his. Then he cleared his throat nervously before he continued.

"I'm sorry about all the things that your brother has done to you…I knew that he was jealous of you and I did nothing against that when I could."

"Dad, I don't think, that jealousy is Edwards main problem right now."

"Probably, but still…if I had done something against it when it was still possible, it would have saved us all from a lot of trouble."

"Maybe you should have better told me the truth about my heritage sooner?"

"Yes, maybe…but the truth is that I was scared and ashamed…not of you, but of the way that you came into my life...,"

"Dad, I…,"

A young nurse rushed into his office and handed him a file before she was gone as soon as she had come. The poor girl seemed terribly stressed. Carlisle flipped the file open and shook his head.

"I assume that the two of you planned this. So congrats are probably in order."

"The test is positive?" Ali's voice raised two octaves before she wrapped her arms around my middle and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Yes, it is. Are you going to tell me how the two of you managed to make a baby? No, forget it. It's probably better if I don't know. This is really weird."

Weird, probably but at least it was real and when I saw the happy look on my wife's face I knew that it was not only real but good too.

XXXX

She rested her head against my belly and a low moan escaped my throat when her fingertips caressed the skin in smooth movements.

"Shhh, I can't hear anything."

"Ali, the only thing that you're going to hear down there is my empty stomach. I'm hungry like a wolf."

The dog next to us whimpered and raised his head.

"Seems like you're not the only one who's hungry now," she stated cheerfully and stood up from the couch.

"Come with me, Fido. We'll try to find something for you in the kitchen."

He followed her and almost managed to knock a glass that was standing on the table off with his tail.

When they were gone my hands automatically fell to my abdomen as if somehow it would be possible for me to feel anything down there. It was ridiculous. I wouldn't be able to feel anything for the next months.

The doorbell rang and I stood up to open the door.

"Didyme?"

She smiled and I tried not to stare too much at her now bright blonde hair.

"Hello Bella, is Ali home too? She's not answering her cell."

She followed me into the living room and sat down on the couch. I wondered how much the sapphire ring on her middle finger would cost. Probably way more than everything I would ever own in my life.

"Ali? You've got a visitor!"

My pixie-like wife rushed out of the kitchen and wiped some flour from her cheek.

"Didyme? Oh, it's so nice that you came by. Is everything okay with the dresses I made for you?"

She nodded her head and gave Ali a warm smile.

"They were lovely, my dear. In fact they're the reason why I came here today."

"Do you want me to make another one for you?"

"Not exactly,"

She searched for something in her handbag.

"I want you to work for me, as my personal designer for my new fashion line."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Absolutely, I talked to a photographer when I was at the opening of a gallery. He agreed with me that we shouldn't let your talent get wasted anymore. Then he showed me some of his work and I just knew that the two of you would work perfectly together."

I felt her stiffen next to me. Was she nervous or something like that? This was good news after all. Wasn't that what she had hoped for? So, why was she so tensed now?

"I don't really know what to say, Didyme."

"How about just saying yes? Or are you worried about the financial aspect of our agreement. I assure you that it will be very gracious."

Didyme pulled a tablet out of her handbag and handed it to her. She quickly read through it and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that."

"Why? Are you crazy? How can you say no to this? Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes, but…I…I…I can't do it."

"Why? Look, if this is about the baby…,"

"It has nothing to do with that. Please stop asking."

"No, I want to know."

Didyme stood up from the couch and cleared her throat again.

"I'll leave this here for you. Call my office in case you change your mind."

"She will." I assured her when I guided her out of the house.

"What in heaven's name was that?" I asked Ali when I returned to the living room.

"Please, stop asking. I just can't do it." her voice was trembling and I kneeled down in front of her.

"Hey, what's wrong with you? Don't you want to design clothes anymore?"

"Of course, I want to."

"Then why don't you want to work for her?"

"I can't tell you. Can't you just accept that and go over with it?"

Then to my immense surprise she started crying and I pulled her closer so that she could sob against my shoulder.

"You're scaring me. Why won't you tell me what's wrong with that job offer?"

"Nothing, it's really nothing. Just forget it. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

I sighed and started rubbing her back in small circles until the sobbing finally subsided. Maybe it was just her nerves. She was new to this whole becoming a mom thing and maybe she was scared that she wouldn't be able to handle that and the new job on top of it.

Whatever it was she was afraid of, I would help her to overcome those fears, because I didn't want her to miss anything of the things she wanted in her life…


	83. Chapter 83

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of my little Twilight soap aka fan fiction. I have so much fun writing this and I'm grateful for all of you who keep reading the story.

This chapter is dedicated to **secrets87** and **SiempreCrystalClear** because they always leave me such lovely reviews that make my day so much better.

*Lemon Alert in this one. As usual/ don't like don't read…*

****Chapter 83****

I planted a trail of open-mouthed kisses down her bare spine before I kissed my way up again and sucked the sensitive skin on her collarbone between my teeth.

"Hmm,"

Slowly she turned around and cupped my face between her dainty hands.

"Morning,"

"Morning to you," I whispered, letting my fingertips stroke down until they reached the soft roundness of her perky breasts. When I squeezed the tiny nubs between my thumb and my forefinger they hardened instantly under my touch and a low moan escaped her throat.

"How are you feeling? Aren't you sick or anything?" she asked me worriedly.

"I'm good, don't worry." I mumbled and caressed the flat skin on her stomach that felt like silk underneath my palm.

Her hands were still wrapped around my neck and I took one of them in mine and guided it between my legs were I was already slick and warm for her touch.

"Bella, I don't know if that's a good idea."

I tried to suppress a chuckle and pulled her on top of me.

"Didn't I tell you not to worry? Try to relax a bit. I'm just pregnant and not dangerously ill."

Then I put a wisp of her short hair behind her ear and leaned forward to plant a kiss on her gorgeous mouth. The tip of my tongue nudged against hers when she parted her mouth a bit to gasp for air.

"Please touch me," I whispered against the crock of her neck while my hands circled over her belly button.

She turned us around and planted another soft kiss on my mouth before she kissed her way down my upper body. Her mouth closed around one of my pebbled nipples to suckle it greedily and I twisted my hands into her messy hair to pull her closer to me.

When she dipped two of her fingers into the moist warmth between my legs a low moan escaped my throat.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the tender caress of her fingers on my overheated flesh. God, how much I wanted her. It was almost painful.

Then finally, finally, she lowered her mouth to kiss the insides of my thighs upwards so slowly that I felt a trail of fresh wetness pouring out of me.

She held me open with two of her fingers while her tongue circled up and down my slit so gently that she was barely touching me at all.

"You taste different," she mumbled so low that her husky voice was barely audible.

I cringed and felt my face turning warm from embarrassment. Or was it the heat in here? It was warm inside our bedroom, so warm that a few salty pearls of sweat fell down between my breasts.

"So much sweeter…god, Bella, you're so delicious."

Her cool breathe tickled my skin before she continued licking me again and the world around me fell apart. The tip of her tongue explored every fold between my legs, making my legs tremble when it reached the throbbing pearl of my clit again.

"Let me taste you too," I whispered hoarsely, before I flipped us over to the side and I pulled her legs apart to bury my face between her slim thighs.

When the first drops of her essence poured into my waiting mouth, it took me a moment to realize that she too tasted different now to me. My tongue circled over her entrance to lap up more of it to savor the unfamiliar tartness. How long had it been since I had kissed her there. Whatever it was, it was too long. I craved the feeling of her bare inner lips against my mouth, the feeling of her throbbing pearl against my trembling lips when I sucked it gently between them.

Then I felt the muscles in my stomach tightening so much that it was almost painful. Her tongue circled over my clit while she shoved two of her fingers deep into me and curled them upwards. More of her wetness poured over my tongue and when I inserted it into her tight entrance her inner walls clenched around me. A heartbeat later the force of my own climax rushed through me, making my entire body tremble for several moments until I was finally able to catch my breathe again.

"Are you alright?" she asked me, pulling my body against hers while she planted several kisses on my shoulder.

"Of course, I'm good. That was fantastic."

She put one hand on my abdomen and started stroking it in smooth movements.

"I don't know if it's good for the baby when you get excited like that. Maybe it scares him or her."

I turned my head and kissed the tip of her nose playfully.

"Ali, stop worrying. A lot of people have sex when they're pregnant. I'm still me and I want you…,"

I cupped one of her breasts in my hand and squeezed it gently.

"And if you tell me that you don't want to be with me…you make me feel ugly and fat."

"Bella, you know that I don't think you're fat. I love every single pound on you. I'm just worried to make something wrong."

I shook my head and placed my hand over hers.

"Everything is going to be fine with our baby. You need to relax a little bit."

"Hmm, I know that you're right. I don't know why I'm so tensed."

Because you have too much time to worry about everything, I thought, wondering if it would be a good idea to bring up Didyme's job offer again…

XXXX

I sipped nervously on the cup of herbal tea in front of me while I tried to think of a good way to break the news to her. The problem was that I knew my daughter and wasn't really keen on answering all of her embarrassing questions. Had I been that curious too when I was her age?

Ali cleared her throat and kneeled down next to her, making her look up from the drawing in front of her. It was another picture of the dog that had some weird pink and green dots all over his fur in this one.

"Lilly, sweetie, we want to talk to you about something."

"Your aunt is right. There is something that we need to tell you."

Then I took a deep breath before I spoke up again, trying desperately to keep my voice calm.

"We're going to have a baby."

"Really?" She sounded thrilled. That was probably a good sign.

"Yes, really, honey." Ali stated cheerfully.

"And where is the baby now?"

"Here," I mumbled, taking her hand in mine to place it underneath my belly button.

"And how did it get in there?"

"Well…"

"Don't you know?"

"No, I do. It's difficult to explain."

"I'm going to call Jane and ask her then. She knows everything."

I wasn't too keen on letting the little witch child tell her some scary stories. Damn it, why did this have to be so complicated?

"Look, sweetie. Your mommy and I really wanted to have a baby together and then we got a little help from an angel and voila….now we're going to have one in a few months."

"So long? Can't the baby be here now?" she asked impatiently.

"It needs to grow a little bit more first. Do you want a brother or a sister?"

"I don't know yet. Is the baby going to sleep in my room?"

"No, it isn't. The baby is going to have its own room so that it won't wake you up at night."

"Hmm,"

"Mommy, are you going to be the mommy of the baby too?"

"Yes, sweetie, I and your aunt…," I wrapped my arms around Ali and pulled her closer to me.

"We are both going to be the mommies of the baby when it is born."

"And the daddy of the baby?"

"He…is not going to live with us."

"Is he in jail like my daddy?"

"No, honey, he just wants to live in his own house. That's all."

"Auntie Ali?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Why is the baby going to have two mommies?"

"Because we're both going to love the baby," she stated after a few awkward moments of silence.

"Do you love the baby more than me?"

"No, of course not, honey."

"But why are you going to be the mommy of the baby and not mine?"

"Sweetie, you'll understand that better when you're older."

"But I want to understand it now!" she started sobbing and twisted her hands into the fluffy fur of the calf sized dog next to her.

"Lilly, please stop crying."

The doorbell rang and Ali went to open it while I wrapped my arms around my daughter in an attempt to calm her down again. Jeez, we should have thought better before telling her about the baby.

"Hello Bella," Jasmine greeted me cheerfully when she entered the kitchen.

Then she put one arm on Lilly's shoulder to make her look up at her.

"Hi there,"

"Jasmine, can I live with you?"

"With me?"

"My mommy and Auntie Ali are going to have a baby and they love it more than me."

"What makes you think that? You know that your aunt and your mother love you a lot."

"But the baby is going to have two mommies and I have only one. That's not fair."

"Hmm, you're right about that. It's not really fair. Do you want to have two mommies too?"

"I don't know."

"Just think about it and as for you living with me. I don't think that's a good idea. I don't have any off the stuff that little children eat in my fridge. But maybe you're different than other kids and like to eat carrots and broccoli."

"No, I don't. Veggies are yucky." She wrinkled her tiny snub nose in disgust.

"It's not fair to lie to little children," Ali whispered into her ear, earning herself a low chuckle coming deep from Jasmine's throat.

"I'm afraid, I'm not. Zafrina made me buy all this Tofu crap because I threw away all her coffee."

"Are the two of you together now?"

"Me and Zafrina? Is this supposed to be a joke? This woman is so annoyingly dogmatic. It's impossible to have a conversation with her without her wanting to win it. Don't get me wrong, she has a lot of good sites too. She's very caring and romantic but on the other hand she's so damn sarcastically."

"I hate to remind you, but you're pretty sarcastically yourself, Jazz." Ali stated while she crossed her arms around my middle. In a few weeks she wouldn't be able to get them around me anymore. Somehow the thought scared me. What if she would find me ugly then?

I walked over to the kitchen table and wrapped one of the envelopes that were lying on top of it open.

It was the bill for the vet in Forks. Damn it, it should be illegal to charge so much money for treating an animal.

I quickly shoved it back into the greenish envelope and accidentally spilled the content of my tea cup all over the table.

"Is everything okay?" Ali asked me worriedly.

"Hmm, yes of course. It's just the usual. People want money from us that we don't have."

"Maybe you should consider getting a job too, Ali. Or are you planning on turning into a perfect housewife now? Doesn't your wife want you to work?"

"Bella would never keep me from doing anything I want."

"Whatever,"

"She had such a great job offer but she said no. I still don't understand why."

"Bella, please, we've already talked about that. I don't want to work for Didyme."

"Wait a minute? Didyme Volturi offered you a job and you said no? Are you crazy? Why the hell did you do that?"

"Jasmine, that's none of your business."

"Of course it is. This is what you've been waiting for so long. Getting a rich supporter that is fond of your work."

"I can't do it. Please stop talking about it. You make me feel guilty."

She sat down on my lap and buried her face against my chest.

"You shouldn't have told her. She won't stop talking about it now."

"Your wife was actually right to do that. You obviously lost every bit of ambition that you had left."

"It's not like that. The contract…I just can't…,"

"Why? Are you waiting for a better chance? I bet she offered you way more money than she needed to."

"It's not about the money."

"Is it Didyme herself? Don't you like the style she wants you to design?"

"No. She would practically give me free hand with everything."

"So she pays you lots of money and lets you do what you want. Hmm, I see, you couldn't say yes to that."

"Jazz, please, just drop it now. I can't work for her."

"Why?"

"Because she hired James Hunter to be my photographic assistant; I would rather die than spend just one minute in the same room than him."

"Who is James Hunter?" I asked her, wrapping my arms around her when I realized that she started trembling slightly.

"You didn't tell her?" Jasmine mumbled, handing Lilly a piece of biscuit that immediately landed in the dogs' snout. She grabbed him around the collar and pulled him upwards to her room.

"Why should I tell her about that? It's the past and doesn't matter anymore!" Ali stumbled out as soon as Lilly was out of sight.

"It may be the past but it still tortures you."

"That's not true."

"Of course, it's true. God, you even cancelled a job because of this stupid cock-sucker."

"Jasmine, keep your mouth shut. You promised me not to tell anyone about it."

"I'm not telling anyone, but you should consider telling your wife."

"No! I don't want her to know,"

"You don't want me to know what?"

"Nothing…it's nothing."

"When it's nothing you can tell me. You told _he_r too, didn't you?"


	84. Chapter 84

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back everybody. Thanks for taking the time to read and review my little story here. It's your support that keeps me going.

This chapter here is dedicated to **SOFisticated1** and **MangekyoMasta510**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 84****

"Look at me," I whispered after a few awkward moments that felt like forever to me.

She didn't respond and that hurt me way more than the cruel, disgusting things she had told me just minutes ago. How could someone she cared for let something like that happen to her?

"Ali, please look at me." I repeated, taking her hand in mine to squeeze it gently. It would be okay touching her now, wouldn't it?

"I can't," her voice was barely audible and sounded completely tortured.

"Yes, you can." I mumbled, leaning forward to put a wisp of her spikey hair behind her ear. Then I cupped her face, that was white like chalk now, in my hand and wiped a few teardrops from her cheekbone.

"No, I can't." she murmured, her voice trembling from the fresh tears she was obviously trying to hold back.

"Why?" I stammered out, while I suddenly had to hold on the table next to me because an unpleasant wave of dizziness spread through me.

"Because, because…I'm so, I'm so…," she started hesitantly, searching for words to express what she was feeling now and I realized that most of all it was shame. I didn't want her to feel that way, ever.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer, planting several kisses on the curls of her hair that smelled like apples and cinnamon like always. It was then that I realized that she was still mine, would always be mine, no matter what had happened before we met or even what would happen in the future.

"I love you and I'm so sorry that they, that she hurt you like that." I whispered finally, before I collapsed on the ground next to her. Damn it, why was I feeling so dizzy. This wasn't normal for this state of my pregnancy. Or maybe it was just my nerves, hopefully.

"Bella?" her voice sounded more worried now and less pained.

"I'm just feeling dizzy,"

She pulled a tissue out of her pocket and cleaned her nose before she wrapped two of her dainty fingers around my wrist to check my pulse.

"That's completely unnecessary."

"Leave that to me."

"Please, Ali, it's just some dizziness. I feel good apart from that. Can we focus on you now?"

"You think that I can focus on anything else when I know that you aren't feeling well?"

She stood up and rinsed a cloth under the faucet before she pressed it gently against my neck. The wet, cold felt amazingly pleasant against my overheated skin. Why the hell was it so terribly warm inside here?

We should get you to the hospital, just to let them have a look at you." she stated finally.

"That's unnecessary."

"Don't be so stubborn. I just want to make sure that everything is okay with the two of you."

"And what about you?"

"I'm fine."

"I highly doubt that."

Slowly I stood up again from the ground and leaned back against the counter behind me.

"I hate them for what they did to you. How can people suggest something as disgusting as that to you? I mean how old were you when that happened? Eighteen? Nineteen?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it does. They obviously managed to make you feel guilty about this crap and I don't understand why. It's so clearly not your fault what happened back then."

"I could have said no, you know. I should have but the truth is that I was willing to do anything to keep me from losing her. She was the only person I had over there."

"Hmm, but you did stop and that's all that counts, Ali,"

The dizziness came back again, stronger this time and I had to close my eyes for a moment to keep me from falling over again.

"I love you." I whispered hoarsely, resting my face against her shoulder to plant a soft kiss on the crock of her neck.

"I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

My legs felt too weak to remain standing and so I quickly sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and buried my face between my knees.

"Still dizzy?"

"A bit,"

"Okay, we're definitely going to the hospital."

"What if they make me stay there? I have to work later."

She kneeled down in front of me and planted kisses all over my face before she gently pressed her lips against mine. Her tongue caressed my lower tenderly until I parted my lips enough to let her slip into my mouth. A wave of lust spread through my body and I twisted my hands into her hair to pull her closer.

"Not now," she whispered against my trembling lips when she pulled back a few moments later.

"I need to make sure that the two of you are alright first."

I nodded my head and sighed deeply, secretly thinking that it was way more important for me that she was okay, but when she rested her head against the crock of my neck, I knew she would be.

**XXXX**

I cringed slightly when I felt the cold metal of the stethoscope on my skin.

"Hmm,"

"She's okay, isn't she? Please say she's okay, Dad." Ali pleaded, squeezing my hand so tightly that I feared she would break my knuckles. Who knew that my delicate wife had so much strength?

He cleared his throat nervously before he spoke up, trying to make his voice sound casual and calm. It was his doctor-voice and it annoyed me more than anything.

"Her blood pressure is too high that's why she's feeling dizzy but apart from that she's fine. I'll let Dr. Bennett do an ECG too, just to make sure."

"That's good. Why is her blood pressure too high?" Ali asked him curiously, while she continued playing with a wisp of my hair.

"That's normal for some pregnant women. Make sure she rests enough, than she should be good."

"Grandpa, is my mommy sick?" Lilly asked him, biting her fingernails nervously.

"A little bit, but you don't have to worry about it, sweetie."

He placed one of the earphones of the stethoscope over her head and pressed the other end to my chest again.

"Can you hear that?"

"Is that my mommy's heart?"

"Yes, honey and that is…,"

He placed the metal plate on my abdomen.

"That's the heartbeat of the baby."

"Why is it beating so fast?" she wanted to know.

"That's normal; it will slow down a bit when it grows."

"Grandpa, do you know how the babies get into the mommies?"

"Ahm, I think that you should better ask that your mother."

"But she doesn't really know it and you're a doctor and are supposed to know everything."

Someone knocked on the door to his office and a young nurse with huge fearful eyes appeared in the doorframe.

"Dr. Cullen? Mr. Popescu is here for his appointment. Do you want me to tell him that you need some more time?"

"No, it's okay. Bring him in."

When Stefan entered the room I realized that he looked way better than a few weeks ago. Angela had told me that they had changed something about his medication. It was a test series and Stefan, who was scared shitless of getting surgery, had happily agreed to give it a try.

"Oh, hi there, I didn't know that you had company."

"Hello, Stefan. You look good."

"Thanks, an old man does what he can. How are you feeling, Bella? Is everything okay with the baby?"

I nodded my head and wondered if Benjamin had accidentally told him about the baby's heritage. No, that couldn't be. Stefan was probably just being nice.

"Stefan?"

"Yes, Lilly?"

"Do you know how the baby gets into the mommy? Nobody seems to know and I really want to find out."

"Hmm, that's difficult to explain, Lilly."

"Is it a secret?"

"No, it isn't. Look when two people really love each other…that love sometimes makes a baby."

"Because they wish for it?"

"Kind off,"

"Okay, you seem to know more about it than the others."

He chuckled and pulled some candy out of his jacket that immediately disappeared in Lilly's mouth.

"Your granddaughter is a pretty girl." He told Carlisle, who had started reading a file on his desk.

"Yes, she is. I'm glad to have her. Grandchildren are way more fun to have than kids of your own. Do you want to see a picture of the twins too? They seem to grow every time I see them."

"Very cute," Stefan mumbled when Carlisle handed him the silver-framed photograph.

"If you like children so much than you should consider having some with your wife, she's still young enough." Carlisle suggested.

He frowned and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Thank you; I know very well how old my wife is. We don't want to have kids. It's better that way. I don't want her to…, well never mind."

**XXXXX**

I hated it to be treated as if I was sick and so I wasn't too happy when Ali decided to play my personal nurse when we were back home.

She placed a pile of pillows behind me before she made me lay down on the couch.

"That's unnecessary. Please, you embarrass me when you make such a fuss about me."

A chuckle left her throat before she leaned over and put a wisp of my hair behind my ear. Then she twisted all of it around each other until it was a messy knot at the back of my head.

"I like taking care of you, of both of you."

She pulled my shirt up and planted a kiss right underneath my belly button.

"Are you hungry?" she whispered, sending a tingly feeling through me when her cool breathe tickled my skin.

I giggled and pulled her up again.

"Are you asking me or the baby?"

"Both of you,"

"I'm not really hungry. It's not necessary that I stuff down too many calories. I'm already fat enough."

"You're not fat. When will you finally stop thinking that?"

She started caressing my abdomen in feather light movements.

"I love you, like the way you are."

"But I'm going to get bigger."

"I know. I've heard that's normal when a woman is pregnant."

"What if I can't get the weight off afterwards?"

"Stop worrying about that, it doesn't matter to me."

But it matters to me, I thought nervously, playing with the spikey ends of her hair. Then I cleared my throat before I spoke up.

"I think that you should take the job. If you refuse to do it, it's like you give this James idiot some secret power over you. I mean, there are so many other photographers around there. Can't you just tell Didyme that you don't want to work with him?"

"He has a contract with her too." she mumbled, standing up from the edge of the couch. Then she walked into the kitchen to return a few moments later with a glass of orange juice in her hands.

"Drink that. You need more vitamins."

"You really would have been a good doctor, you know?"

"Probably, although I look not that good in green, it's not really my color."

I took a sip from the glass and took her hand in mine.

"I like it better when you do what you love and you really love designing clothes don't you?"

She nodded her head.

"About this shithead having a contract with Didyme, maybe we can do something about it. We could call Zafrina to ask her if there's anything that we can do."

"I don't know."

"But I do. This chance is too great to let it get wasted. We'll find a way to make this work for you."


	85. Chapter 85

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to a new episode of WTHN. I'm so grateful for the encouraging feedback I'm receiving for this story. It's because of you that I'm still here. Without you, all my ideas would probably stay hidden in my crazy mind forever.

This chapter here is dedicated to **x0xElLax0x** and **WildImagination28**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 85****

The unpleasant dizziness wasn't gone when I woke up the next morning. I tried to hide it from Ali what worked pretty fine until I collapsed on the carpet in the living room. To say that she wasn't completely hysterical about it would be like saying that cream cheese bagels are a low-fat snack.

She called Carlisle and the way she spoke to him sounded as if I was about to die. He showed up half an hour later and checked my blood pressure again. It was still too high and that was weird concerning the fact that I usually had a tendency to the opposite. Carlisle paged my gynecologist and after she had explained to me that I was probably going to have a high-risk pregnancy I got something like a little nervous breakdown. Somehow I couldn't stop crying. The thought of spending most of the next months in bed, always supervised by doctors or nurses was scaring me. I didn't have time to deal with that sort of crap. Why couldn't this be easy for me? My pregnancy with Lilly had practically been like a walk in the park – apart from the birth of course but that was a totally different story.

When I raised my head and blinked again, my eyes burning from the tears, my throat dry and hoarsely, I realized that Carlisle was gone and I was alone with my pixie-like wife.

She wiped my face with a wet towel before she handed me a mug with some herbal tea and sat down on the edge of the couch. Then she took my other hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"Never do that again."

"Hmm?"

"Trying to keep it from me when you're not feeling well,"

"Oh that. Look, I'm sorry,"

"You don't have to be sorry. I just need to be sure that you're going to let me know if something is wrong."

"I didn't want you to get worried unnecessarily." I whispered, taking a small sip from the hot tea.

She shook her head and leaned forward to put a wisp of my hair behind my ear.

"How can I not worry about you? I love you."

"I love you too and it makes me feel awkward to be such a burden."

"You're not a burden. Like I told you before, I like taking care of the two of you."

I started crying again. Maybe it was because of all the hormonal chaos in my blood, maybe because I was scared of losing the baby. Whatever it was it made my entire body tremble with fear.

"Breathe," she whispered, wrapping her arms around me from behind.

"Everything is going to be fine. I won't let anything bad happen to you."

She placed one of her hands underneath my belly button and started rubbing it in small circles.

"Am I supposed to rest for the rest of the day?"

"More like for the rest of the week, at least. Carlisle is going to come back here later to check on you."

"I hate being sick."

"Welcome to the club." she mumbled, pressing something cold against my neck.

"He's not going to send me to stay at the hospital, will he? I hate that place, it smells awful."

"I like hospital smell. It kind of reminds me of my dad."

"Hmm,"

I tried to remember how Charlie had smelled like when he was still alive. Coffee, I thought, like freshly brewed coffee and brown sugar. God, how much I missed him.

Why was it that you only valued the precious things in your life once they were irrevocably gone?

XXXXX

Ali invited Benjamin, Angela and Stefan over in an attempt to cheer me up and distract me a bit.

I wasn't too fond of being distracted but my bad mood automatically got a little better when I tried a piece of the delicious chocolate cake they brought with them.

"Stefan," Lilly asked him, nibbling on the piece of cake in front of her.

"Can you help me to repair the elevator in my Barbie house? It's not working anymore."

He nodded his head and followed her into her room.

"Stefan is good with kids." Angela stated when she sat down next to me in an armchair. Somehow there was a bitter hint in her voice. I remembered the scene in Carlisle's office when he had suggested that they should have kids.

Benjamin chuckled and poured me a glass of orange juice that I emptied in one big gulp.

"Do you want some more cake? You have to eat for two now, you know." He told me cheerfully.

I didn't feel hungry at all but who can say no to chocolate cake?

"I'm getting you one. Do you want some ice cream too?" my beautiful wife asked me after she had checked my blood pressure again. The whole playing my nurse thing was obviously starting to be fun for her. Or it wasn't. Maybe she was just trying to put up a brave face for me. I loved her even more for that.

"Bella, do you want to have something to drink too? Tea perhaps? Or Milk?"

This was exactly why I didn't like company when I wasn't feeling fine. It was embarrassing how everyone made such a fuss about me.

"Honey, do you want ice-cream with your cake?"

She's trying to feed me up, isn't she? I struggled with the tempting thought of creamy ice cream that melted in my mouth but then I figured out that it might not be such a good idea to overdo the entire eating thing. No matter what Ali kept telling me. I didn't want to go from big to bigger.

"She wants the ice cream." Angela stated, grabbing the empty plates from the table.

"You don't have to clean up here. I can do that later."

"You're doing definitely nothing." Ali murmured, planting a kiss on the tip of my nose before she and Angela disappeared in the kitchen.

"How's the baby doing?" Benjamin whispered when they were out of sight.

"Fine," I assured him, trying to stand up.

"Stay where you are, Bella. You're not going to make me tie you up, are you?"

"Give me my handbag. I wanted to show you the ultrasound image."

He handed me the bag and when I showed him the picture, his mouth twitched into a bright smile.

"Looks a bit like an alien to me."

I giggled while my hand circled over my abdomen.

"Did you hear that? Your daddy thinks that you look like an alien."

"Daddy?" Stefan's voice raised two octaves before he crossed the distance between us and slapped his son right across the face.

"Have you completely lost your mind now?" he yelled at him, grabbing him around the collar of his shirt.

"Dad, calm down. It's not like you think it is."

"I may be old but I'm not stupid. What the hell is wrong with you? Fir-st you tell me that you want to be with other men and then the wife of your sister? This is so sick!"

Lilly's head appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Mommy, why are they yelling at each other?"

"They're not yelling, sweetie, just talking louder. Go back to your room."

"But I want to know why Stefan is so angry at Benjamin."

"Lilly, go to your room and stay there."

She frowned and the door of her room made a loud cracking noise when she closed it behind her with a kick. Great, now she was pissed at me too.

"What the hell were you thinking? How could you do that to your poor sister!"

His face turned from pale, to red and from red to almost purple while he started yelling stuff in Romanian to his son that continued stumbling out the words.

"It's not like that. It's not like that"

"Stefan! What in heaven's name are you doing there? Let go of him."

"Don't tell me how to treat my son, Ela! If he weren't too old for that I would bend him over my knee and spank him. Of all the crap he has come up with until now…this is the top of it."

"What did he do?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself? I'm sure; he'd like to explain to you how he got your friend here pregnant."

"I don't think I understand." Angela stumbled out, almost dropping the plate she was holding in her hand.

Ali cleared her throat and wrapped her arms around me from behind in a protective gesture.

"We didn't plan to tell you about this, but now that the truth is out…"

"You know about that?" Stefan asked her skeptically.

"Of course, I do. If you want to know the truth, it was my idea for the greatest part."

"Your idea?"

"Dad, please let us explain that to you."

"What the hell is there left to explain."

"A lot, I think." Angela stated, crossing her arms in front of her chest after placing the plate with the cake in front of me.

I took a deep breath before I spoke up.

"Benjamin was the donor."

"Donor for what?" Angela asked me, but when she saw me staring down at my belly, the pieces of the puzzle seemed to fit together for her.

"Oh, I see."

"Are you angry at us now?"

"Me? Why would I be angry? I know how much the two of you wanted to have this baby."

"Dragostea mea, how can you support this nonsense? She's the wife of his sister. God, this is so sick."

"Stefan, they didn't…well, you know what I mean."

"How can you make a baby without having sex? No, don't tell me. I really don't want to know. This is crazy. Everyone in this country is crazy and we should have stayed in Romania after Sasha died."

"Dad, please, this is nothing bad. Ali and Bella will be wonderful mothers for the baby."

"And what are you supposed to do in this? You're not mature enough to be a father. Damn it, your uncle was right when he told me that you're still a child."

"I can learn what it means to be a father. There is not only one way of being one."

"Hmm,"

"Are you mad at me?"

"Yes, I am, because like usually you didn't think one second about the consequences of your actions. You're exactly like your mother, always acting on your emotions."

Benjamin shrugged and sat down on the carpet in front of the couch.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Stefan stated after a few awkward moments of silence, desperately trying to keep his voice calm now.

"Maybe you should go now. Bella really needs to rest." Ali told them, pulling me closer against her body.

"She's right, Stefan. We should go home. Are you coming with us, Benjamin?"

"Have to check with my emotional status first."

"Don't be like that. You know that your father didn't mean it like that."

"I know exactly how he meant it. Have you forgotten that I've lived with him for far longer than you did?"

"I shouldn't have mentioned your mother. That was below the belt."

"Yes it was."

Benjamin stood up from the ground and handed me the ultrasound picture, he had been still holding, back with trembling fingers.

"Wait, let me see it." Stefan pleaded and his fingertips moved over the small picture.

"Incredible. Do you want to look a look too, Ela?"

"Hmm,"

He wrapped one arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Can you believe that this is going to turn into a real human being in a few months? It's like a miracle."

"Probably,"

A deep chuckle left Stefan's throat before he leaned forward and kissed her again, this time directly on her mouth.

"We should go now. Bella looks as if she's about to fall asleep any moment."

"I'm not tired. I'm just exhausted because…well, why exactly? I haven't really done anything today apart from laying uselessly around."

"Carrying our child is not, nothing, sweetheart."

"She's right," Benjamin stated, leaning over to plant a kiss on my cheek.

"Promise me that you let my sister take care of you, of both of you."

I nodded my head and sighed deeply before resting my head back against her dainty shoulder.

"I will."


	86. Chapter 86

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I really wished I could be a better writer. When I compare myself to others I always feel like a complete dilettante. Anyway, I'm thankful for those of you who keep encouraging me to continue with this story. It's because the love you show for this story that keeps me writing it.

This chapter here is dedicated to **Villemo79** and **mydsgirl**. Hope you'll enjoy

****Chapter 86****

_Ali's POV_

What is it that draws one person to another? Is it really just coincidence or is it destiny that somehow, in a wondrously way leads us finally into the arms of the one person we were always meant to be with.

My heart skipped a beat, making the blood pulsate so quickly through my body so that my fingertips started prickling.

"Mrs. Swan?"

I raised my head and shoved the picture of Bella I had been holding in my hand back into my handbag.

"Yes?"

"Mrs. Volturi will see you now."

"Thanks," I mumbled, clearing my dry throat twice before I entered her office.

She has taste that much is obvious I realized when I took a moment to look around in the huge room. Everything was covered in light cream colors apart from the couch that was a warm, deep brown shade and smelled like olive oil and old leather.

When she saw me the edges of her mouth twitched upwards into a half smile.

"Good Morning, Ali. I'm sorry that I had to keep you waiting. Do you want to drink anything?"

I shook my head and sat down on one of the sandy colored chairs in front of her mahogany desk. The color instantly reminds me of Bella's beautiful hair and once more I found myself wishing that she had been able to come here with me.

Somehow it's better that way. I needed to do this on my own.

"Thank you, I'm fine. Did you get that message from Zafrina?"

"Hmm,"

Her hair had now a few caramel colored highlights in it that made the blonde appear a tiny bit more natural. She's a beautiful woman, or at least she had been a few years ago. Now she reminded me a little bit of a flower that was about to dry up.

"I don't understand."

"You don't understand what?"

"Why you are saying no to my offer."

"It's not like that." I stumbled out, cursing myself because I sounded like a stupid, insecure school girl now.

"Would you care to explain to me what kind of problem you have with the contract?"

I took a deep breath and although I knew, deep inside me that I should probably not tell her the truth it came out like word vomit.

"It's because of the photographer you hired to work with me. There is no way I'm going to work together with James Hunter, ever."

She raised one eyebrow and took a sip from the glass of water in front of her before she spoke up.

"Are you going to tell me what kind of problem you have with Hunter in specific?"

"No,"

Crap that came out a little too harsh. Maybe I should just go now before I manage to embarrass myself any further.

"Did you have an affair with him or something? That would surprise me…concerning your _preferences_."

"No, I didn't." Thanks god for that.

"But he and I once were…_friends_ with the same person, if you understand what I mean."

"Hmm, I see. Did no one tell you not to mix your private life with your work life? That's pretty unprofessional."

"I know. But yet you are here, practically running the company of your ex-husband on your own. How does that fit in with your standards of separating job and private life?"

She cringed and started playing with the sapphire ring on her right middle finger.

"Love holds is a strange power above us and once its flame is blown out, no one of us remembers how hot the fire has been. All we remember are the different shades of lights in it. I helped him build this company basically from scratch and I won't let him ruin it. That's why I'm here."

"Didyme, look, I really want to work for you. It's a great chance but if it includes spending time with that man, there's no way I can do it."

"Too bad,"

I stood up from the chair, hoping that my legs that suddenly felt like Jell-O underneath me would manage to keep me upright.

Her secretary appeared in the door frame and cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Volturi but your niece is here now."

"Good, bring Janetta in. We're almost finished here."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, wrapping my hand around the cold wood of the mahogany desk. It's so beautiful and I wonder how much that thing might have cost.

"Why are you sorry? Hunter is the one who is supposed to be sorry. He seemed to really be looking forward to work with you."

"I don't understand."

"Jeez, Ali, it's you that I want to work for me. You're like an uncut diamond and if I let you go, it would be…well, just stupid. I don't make stupid decisions. Well, apart from those my heart has been involved with."

"Zia Didyme!"

I turn around and my eyes widen as the tiny white-blonde figure wraps her arms around Didyme's neck. How could the little witch child, as Bella referred to her, be related to one of the richest women in Seattle? Her father owned a restaurant where they served $ 8 pasta dishes.

For the first time I realized that I know absolutely nothing about Volturi Inc. What exactly do they do in this company?

"Oh Janetta, you look so lovely. Did your father allow you to keep that IPhone I sent you last week?"

She frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Certo che no. He says it's too expensive and that I should give it back to you."

Didyme giggled and leaned forward to plant a kiss on Jane's forehead.

"My brother is stubborn but so am I."

"Then I'm supposed to keep it?"

"I insist."

Jane's mouth turned into a bright smile. There was something like an evil aura around this child that I couldn't really put a name to. I wondered why Lilly was so fond of her.

She turned to me and my cheeks reddened a few shades because the way she gazed at me made it seem as if she knew exactly what I was thinking.

"How's it going Ali? Lilly told me that you and her mom are going to have a baby."

"Yes, that's true."

"I don't like babies. They cry all the time and that's annoying."

"Hmm, yes sometimes probably."

Didyme giggled and put a wisp of her hair behind her ear, exposing a pair of expensive looking ear rings with tiny diamonds in them.

"Janetta, you'll understand that better when you are older. Babies are lovely."

"If they are lovely why haven't you any of them?"

"Because I like it far more being an aunt than a mother," she told her, trying to make her voice sound cheerful and light.

I wondered what difference it would make for me. Would I love the new baby more than I loved Lilly? Or would it just be a different kind of love, one I didn't really know anything about.

"Ali, are you still here with me?"

"Yes, Didyme?"

"Are you going to sign the contract if I hire a different photographer?"

"Of course,"

And just like that, I became part of the mysterious Volturi Inc.

XXXX

"Are you still angry at us?" I asked him worriedly, sitting down on the couch in the small living room.

Stefan's mouth twitched for a moment before he handed me the plate with the cinnamon rolls.

"Eat, Alicija. You're too skinny."

"I'm not."

"Trust me you are. As for being angry at you…,"

He sighed deeply and sat down next to me.

"I'm angry, but not because the three of you decided to have this baby together."

"It's me and Bella who are having the baby. Benjamin is more like a…supporting character in the whole thing."

"Hmm, I see."

"Can I ask you something? Is Benjamin really like his…like our mother?"

"You don't really know anything about her, do you? What has your father told you about Sasha?"

"Not much. Just that she was the niece of his housekeeper when he worked in Romania and that she was way too young back then."

"Hmm,"

He cleared his throat and pulled a silver pocket watch out of his vest.

"Don't mention that to my wife. It would upset her if she knew that I'm carrying this with me all the time."

"Kay,"

He flipped it open and my own face, or not really my own face, just one that looked a lot like my own stared back at me. Her fingers were twisted around one of the black curls of the tiny infant in her arms. It looked more like a doll to me than an actual child.

"Is that Benjamin?"

"No, that's you."

For a moment something cramped around my heart and I had to swallow hard before I managed to speak again.

"She was pretty, wasn't she? I didn't even know that she had pictures with me."

"This is the only one. Sasha burned all the others."

"Why did she do that?"

A deep sigh left this throat and his fingers clenched around the pocket watch so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"Because she was angry,"

"At me?"

"No, not at you, at herself,"

"What for?"

"Oh girl, you're really still a child. Look, Sasha was a very emotional person. For her it was all or nothing. Although all was probably what she preferred a lot more. She couldn't let go of you."

"I don't think, I understand."

"Why do you think that we came here? She wanted to move to America because she wanted to be closer to you. And for a long time I was...pissed at her, because I thought that she just wanted to get back together with your father."

"Do you think she loved him?"

"She loved him a lot, probably way more than she ever loved me. He was her first love. That kind of left a mark on her…sort of."

"I still don't understand why she burned the pictures."

"Like I told you, she was angry. I think that she had watched your other…_mother_ bring you to school on that day."

"And how is Benjamin like her? He seems like a pretty cheerful guy to me."

"He is. But the problem is that he bases all of his decisions on his emotions. He never thinks twice about the consequences of his choices and that makes him just like his mother."

"Is it wrong to trust your heart?"

"No, it's not, but it makes people vulnerable and some wounds never heal."

"You're not going to give him a hard time now, will you?"

"No, I won't. I can't really be angry at him for long. He's the only thing of Sasha that I have left."

"You miss her, don't you?"

"Every single day but it's a good thing that I've found Ela. She's my tomorrow and I need tomorrow because I already have too much yesterdays."

"Hmm,"

"Can you tell me why you and Bella wanted to have this child so much?"

"Honesty I never really considered having kids of my own. It just didn't feel that important to me but with Bella it's different. It's like with her I want everything, everything that's possible."

"You're hungry for life…that's a good thing. Don't let anyone tell you different."

I stood up from the couch and put my jacket back on.

"This isn't exactly how I expected becoming a grandfather."

"I can imagine that."

"Maybe you can…or you don't, it doesn't really matter. We're all in this now."

He wrapped some aluminum foil over the cinnamon rolls and handed them to me.

"Take those with you. Maybe Bella will like to eat them."

"Thanks, I'll make sure she has some. Bella loves everything sweet but she has this weird idea that she's getting too big if she eats too much candy."

His mouth twitched again.

"But you don't mind her gaining weight, do you?"

"No, I don't. It doesn't matter to me how much she weighs. I love her the way she is."

"Love is a strange thing, isn't it, Alicija? Makes us blind and at the same time it lets us see so much that is invisible for our eyes."


	87. Chapter 87

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of **WTHN**. I'm grateful for all of you who keep reading and reviewing. It's your support that keeps me going…

I've decided to start an outtake story for my soap. **Liquid Dreams** will basically be missing moments, flashbacks or whatever comes into my crazy mind. Feel free to make suggestions about scenes you'd like to read about.

This chapter here is dedicated to **cassi143** and** DodgerMcClure**, hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 87****

"Why in heaven's name did you have to lift him up now?" Rosalie snarled at him, her tired voice raising two octaves so that it almost sounded hysterical in my ears.

"Because I thought that…," her husband mumbled hesitantly.

"Nothing! You were thinking nothing, like usually. How often will I have to tell you that the twins need to learn sleeping at certain times? Seriously, you are driving me insane, McCarthy. It's like I'm having three kids instead of two."

"Babe,"

"Don't you, Babe me now, I…I…," she stumbled out, her voice cracking at the end before she burst out into tears.

I cleared my throat nervously while Ali kneeled down in front of her blonde haired sister and wrapped one arm around her quivering shoulder.

"Hey,"

"I…I…I'm such a horrible mother."

"No, you're not. You're just exhausted. When was the last time you slept properly?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?" she whispered hoarsely, wiping her running nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

Ali sighed and pulled a tissue out of her pocket. Carefully she wiped the teardrops away from Rosalie's rosy cheekbones. For someone who lacked sleeping she still looked incredibly good.

"Rosie, if you need help with the twins, you could have told me. I like babysitting them."

"Are you telling me that I can't handle my kids on my own?"

"Rosie, it hasn't got anything to do with not being able to handle them."

Rosalie sniffed and took one of the babies, I thought it was Tegan, but I wasn't really sure, from Emmett and started rocking him back and forth. He screamed and whimpered until she put him down in his cradle again. God, how could such a tiny infant make such terrible noise?

"Of course, it has to do with that. After everything, I went through to become a mother, it turns out that I completely suck at the whole thing. Isn't that ironical?"

"You don't suck." I told her, taking a small sip from the cup of tea in front of me.

"Stop thinking that. It's difficult to have one baby to take care of and you have two of them."

Lilly returned from the garden, her hands wrapped tightly around the metal collar on Fido's neck.

"Auntie Rosie, why are you crying?"

"It's nothing, sweetie." she mumbled, forcing her lips into a grimace that was probably supposed to look like a smile.

"Uncle Emmett, can we go to the Park with Tegan and Nessie?"

"Sure, Lilly." He replied quickly, obviously relieved to have found a way to escape the emotional outburst of his wife.

Before he grabbed his jacket, he leaned over to plant a kiss on Rosalie's forehead.

"Try to calm down, Babe. This isn't some kind of contest where you have to be perfect. Everything is going to be okay."

She nodded her head and cupped his face between her hands to kiss his mouth very lightly.

As soon as he was out of the house, she stood up from the couch and twisted her hair into a sloppy ponytail.

"I hate it when he goes to the Park with them without me. All the skinny sluts out there seem to find a man with a baby carriage extremely attractive."

"You're not jealous, are you? Jeez, Rosie, you know that Emmett loves you."

Slowly she shook her head and sat down on the edge of the couch again.

"How can he love me when I'm such a bad mother?"

"Rosie, how often will we have to tell you that you're not a bad mother?" Ali asked her, pouring her a glass of water that she emptied in one big gulp.

"But, I am horrible. Sometimes I almost hate the babies because they won't stop screaming. And don't get me started on the whole breastfeeding thing. Wonderful bonding experience…what a fucking load of bullshit. Tegan is like a greedy, little vampire."

"Breathe," I instructed, sitting up and placing my hand underneath my belly.

"It doesn't make you a bad mother because you don't like breastfeeding."

"But it's so healthy for the babies."

"It is way healthier for them to have a mother who's not completely exhausted, trust me."

"Dad thinks it's healthy too."

"Carlisle doesn't have to do it. Look, Rosalie, I know that you want to make everything perfect but this isn't going to work. You need to admit that you need help."

"I don't want any help. I want to do this on my own."

Ali went into the kitchen and returned with a brownie.

"Here, eat."

"Are you kidding me? Do you know how many calories are in that piece?"

"No, I don't. It doesn't matter. You really look like you could need some sugar now."

"Please take that away. I want at least try to look nice again, if everything else fails."

I grabbed the brownie from the plate and stuffed it down with the rest of my tea. God, was life worth living at all without any chocolate?

"Problem solved," Ali stated cheerfully.

"Hmm,"

Rosalie's cell started vibrating and moved all over the table before she grabbed it with her left hand.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

"That's mom again. I don't have the nerves to deal with her Edward problems now."

"Deal with her Edward problems?"

"She's scared that something is going to happen to him while he's in jail. He was supposed to get transferred back here to Seattle yet, but for some reason that they won't tell her, the authorities in Forks refuse to let him go."

A shiver of fear went down my spine and I instantly pulled Ali closer to me, wrapping my arms tightly around her dainty waist.

"And now?"

"And now, she's flying down there tomorrow to hold his hand or something like that."

There was a bitter hint in her voice, although she clearly tried to suppress it.

"She's angry at us because of what happened, isn't she?"

"No, she's not…well at least not much. It's more like she's angry at herself somehow."

XXXX

"I'm worried," she whispered into my ear while she gently massaged some oil into the skin on my stomach. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, enjoying the tender caress of her fingertips for a moment before I spoke up.

"You don't have to be. Everything will be alright."

"You can't know that, Bella. My mother is so…well, she wants everything to be perfect and now everything she lived for is crumbling into tiny pieces of chaos."

Slowly she leaned forward to plant a kiss right underneath my belly button.

"I want to protect you. Both of you, but I don't know if I'll be able to do that."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently. Then I cupped her face between my hands and kissed her mouth tenderly.

"You are wonderful. Not a single day passes by on that I'm not grateful to have you in my life.

She sighed and rested her head on my lap, letting her fingertips gently move over the bulky scar on my abdomen.

"Is that still hurting you?"

"Sometimes, but not much, it's just really ugly. Please stop looking at it. That makes me feel…uncomfortable."

"Tell me how you got it."

"There were…complications during Lilly's birth." I mumbled so low that my voice was barely audible.

"What kind of complications?" she asked me, while she pressed her ear against my abdomen as if she could hear something inside there.

"Well," I started hesitantly, trying to figure out how to tell her without making her worried again. She already worried so much about too much stuff and that was like pure poison for her weak heart.

To my immense relief the phone started ringing and I quickly picked it up without looking at the number on the display.

"Swan,"

"Hi, Bella, it's me. I'm sorry for calling you this late."

"Mike!"

He cleared his throat nervously before he spoke up again.

"Are you sitting right now?"

"No, I'm standing. Mike, what kind of question is that anyway?"

"I want you to sit down."

"Why?"

"You still have to question anything you are being told, haven't you? Please, do me the favor and sit down somewhere."

I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, while Ali wrapped her arms around me from behind.

"Fine, I'm sitting. Now are you going to tell me why you've called me?"

"Look, Bella. I really don't want you to freak because of what I'm going to tell you now."

"Kay," I responded automatically, although my heart was in my mouth and I wondered if the baby would be able to notice the tension inside me.

"You know that we still have your dipshit of an ex-husband here…,"

"Did he escape?" I stumbled out, trying to avoid sounding too hysterical.

He chuckled, actually chuckled and I wished that it would be able to punch someone through the phone.

"Bella, it may not be Alcatraz over here but I don't think that anyone escaped here in the last years."

"Good,"

"Where was I? Oh right, your ex is still here, but that's not really the reason why I called you."

"Hmm,"

"We finally made some progress in Charlie's case. I think we may have found his murderess."

The phone slipped through my fingers and landed on the carpet in front of me. When I leaned forward to pick it up again a sharp, cramping pain went through my lower body. My hands started quivering and I inhaled sharply between my teeth to suppress a moan.

Ali gave me a worried look, placing one hand on my shoulder while I wondered if I was about to faint now. Everything around me started to blur.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"They found…they finally found the damn…," I croaked out, my voice cracking at the end like a broken record.

"Bella, what in heaven's name did Mike tell you?"

"Give me the phone,"

She grabbed it from the floor but instead of handing it to me, she hissed into the receiver.

"How dare you scaring her like that!"

"Ali?"

"Yeah, it's me and I'm going to hang up now. We can talk tomorrow. Bye Mike."

She kneeled down in front of me and took my trembling hands in hers.

"Bella, please, tell me what's wrong. You're white like a ghost."

Another cramp went through me, stronger than the first one and a heartbeat later I tasted the first salty drops on my lips.

"Are you in pain?" she asked me nervously, her voice raising two octaves.

I nodded my head and sniffed, desperately trying to keep the traitorous tears from falling.

"Lay back," she instructed, gently placing one of her dainty hands on my abdomen while she wiped the wetness from my cheeks with the fingertips of her other hand.

"Breathe, honey, everything is going to be fine. I'll take care of you."

I started sobbing and turned my head to the left side.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered hoarsely, taking several deep breaths in a desperate attempt to calm myself down a bit. Panicking wouldn't help the situation at all.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to apologize to me…ever."

"I don't know if we'll survive that, if I lose the child." I stumbled out, pressing my hands against my belly. The painful cramps had stopped almost as soon as they had come leaving behind nothing but an unpleasant numb feeling. This was supposed to be a good sign, wasn't it? God, I couldn't understand why this was happening to me…to us.

"Stop saying things like that. You won't lose this baby."

She leaned over and planted a kiss on my forehead, tenderly putting a wisp of my hair behind my ear.

"I'm going to call my father now."

"What for? Carlisle is a cardiologist. He knows nothing about having…or losing babies."

"Hmm, yeah, that's right. Sorry about that. I'm just so worried about the two of you and I don't know what to do."

"Nothing…there is nothing you can do right now. The cramps have stopped and I don't think I'm bleeding."

Carefully she took my hand in hers and planted kisses all over my knuckles.

"We're in this together…whatever is going to happen we're in this together and because we're in it together, we'll survive everything."


	88. Chapter 88

[Disclaimer] SM owns everything Twilight. I own Lilly and the McCarthy twins.

[A/N] Welcome back to a brand new episode of **WTHN**. I'm thankful for those of you who keep reading and reviewing. Your support means more to me than you'll ever know.

This chapter here is dedicated to **chaseherchiss** for making an interesting suggestion concerning Edward's 'voice problem'.

****Chapter 88****

"An au pair girl, are you sure that Rosie will be okay with that?"

"I hope so. Emmett thinks it's a good idea."

"Me too," Ali told him, playing with a wisp of my chestnut hair.

"How old is the girl? Won't she feel lonely here so far away from her parents?"

"She has her uncle here and her cousin although I'm not sure if Benjamin isn't going to show her a lot of nonsense. That boy is still such a child, so completely careless…"

"Hmm,"

Carlisle placed the cold metal of the stethoscope on my chest and I cringed slightly from the sudden temperature difference.

"Please, tell me that she's going to be alright." She pleaded her father while he wrapped his hand around my wrist to check my pulse.

"Please…,"

He cleared his throat and stood up from the chair he had been sitting on.

"Mary Alice, you need to calm down a bit. Dr. O'Hara already told you that there is nothing the two of you can do but wait. Things like…like that happen. Your mother had a miscarriage between your sister and your brother. Maybe that's why she's so overly…caring when it comes to Edward."

"She's in Forks right now, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is. I told her not to go. It doesn't help to improve his situation one tiny bit if she sits there in front of him sobbing her eyes out."

"I'm sorry." I whispered so low that my voice was barely audible.

"Not because Edward is in jail but because Esme is so miserable."

"Thanks, Bella. You don't have to be sorry. I'm the one who should have managed to do something about his mental issues when he was younger. But I didn't do it because I cared too much about what people would think. Who wants to admit that their son is sort of…crazy?"

Ali nodded her head and put one hand on Carlisle's shoulder.

"I should go now. In case your mother decides that she's going to speak to me again. She was so angry at me for telling her not to go to Forks that she turned off her cell."

"Dad, I'm sorry. If you want me to, I could call her and tell her to talk to you again."

"Not necessary. She'll come around. There's nothing that she couldn't forgive me. I mean she forgave me…_you_. So, I'm pretty sure she that she'll calm down about my attitude about the current Edward situation."

He sighed deeply and put his jacket back on, running his fingers through his silver highlighted blond hair.

"I'm so terribly worried about Bella and the baby. We don't want to lose it."

"Welcome to parenthood, Mary Alice. Get used to that feeling of being worried. It's going to be your companion now for a very long time."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently before I planted soft kisses all over her knuckles.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"You should take Dr. O'Hara's advice with the bed rest serious. It's the best thing that you can do right now. Oh, and don't try to get too agitated."

"I'll try." I mumbled halfheartedly while he stuffed the rest of his equipment back into his doctor's bag.

"And I'll make sure." my pixie-like wife responded, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

"That's good to hear. Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks," I responded before I leaned back against the fluffy pillows behind me and closed my eyes for a moment.

I heard the front door open and close again while Ali wiped my overheated face with a wet cloth.

"You heard him. No agitations in the next time for the two of you."

"I'm sorry, Ali. I hate being such a burden for you. It's not like you don't have enough other stuff to deal with right now. There's the whole mess with Edward and your new job."

"Please stop thinking about my brother. There is nothing we can do but wait for the court trial to come."

She poured me a glass of orange juice that I emptied in one big gulp.

"That's delicious."

"I'll get you more of it when I pick Lilly up from school."

I cleared my throat before I placed her hand underneath my belly button.

"I love you, Ali."

She kissed my mouth tenderly and put a wisp of my long hair behind my ear.

"I love you too, Bella. Please stop thinking of yourself as a burden. I'm the one who feels so...useless because I can't do anything for the two of you but sit here like a complete moron."

XXXX

My fingertips caressed the skin underneath my belly button while I nibbled on a few chocolate cookies on a plate next to me.

They're for you, not for me. I told the baby, circling my thumb over my abdomen. God, I was going to look like a whale in the next months.

Then I sighed deeply and whispered lowly.

"Promise me to be okay, will you? And I promise you not to complain anymore about gaining weight."

The phone started ringing and I grabbed it from the night stand.

"Swan,"

"Hello Bella. Are you allowed to speak to me now or is your little wife going to interrupt us again?"

"Hello to you too, Mike."

"Look, Bella, maybe I shouldn't have called you until we have more proof about the whole Charlie case. It's just; we've waited so long to make any progress in finding his murderess."

"I know, Mike. There is no one else that is so eagerly looking forward for you to find his killer than me."

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"Please, tell me everything you know, Mike. How did you find her?"

"Well, it's more like she found us."

"I don't think I understand."

"Does the name Anne Platt make any bells ring for you?"

"No, I've never heard it before. Anne Platt, is that her name?"

"We're not sure, if it's her real name. She refuses to talk to us or anyone else. I've never met such a stubborn person before."

"Why did she kill him? Did they have an affair or something like that?"

"You do actually know that we're talking about Charlie, don't you? The only woman he's ever been interested in was your crazy mother. He was a nice guy. Women aren't after the nice guys."

There was a bitter hint in his voice that I couldn't really place.

"How did you find this…Anne Platt anyway?" I asked him, biting my lower lip nervously until I tasted blood on the tip of my tongue.

"She showed up at the jail here and started throwing a tantrum in front of Officer Call because he told her that visitation hours were already over."

"Whom did she want to visit?"

"Your shithead of an ex-husband. Isn't that weird? No one came to see him apart from his lawyer and Lauren who acts as if she's working for the pope now."

"But how did you discover that the hair you found at the…," I had to swallow hard to keep the tears from falling.

"At the crime scene belonged to her?"

"Ever heard of this wondrously thing called the DNA?"

"Since when are you so sarcastically, Mike?"

"Sorry, I'm just a bit stressed right now. I'll call you again if I find out anything more."

I disconnected the call and took several deep breaths through my nose while I waited for the tears to come. It didn't happen. Maybe because I had already cried too much over the loss of my father, maybe because I knew that it wasn't good for the baby if I was sad all the time.

"I love you." I whispered softly, circling my fingertips over my belly.

"Please, be okay. I really need you to be okay because if you don't…it will break your momma's heart and mine too. Please be okay, please be okay. Will you?"

The dog barked downstairs and a few moments later he rushed into the bedroom and nuzzled his huge head against my lap.

Lilly's copper head appeared in the door frame and I cringed slightly when recognized that her eyes were all puffy and red.

"Sweetie, are you okay? What's wrong?"

She sighed deeply and turned to Ali who had wrapped one arm around her shoulder.

"Auntie Ali, do I have to tell her?"

"I'm afraid you have to, Lilly. Or do you want me to tell her?"

"Hmm,"

"Tell me what?"

"I don't have any school next week."

"Why in heaven's name are they closing in the middle of the semester?"

"No, the school is still open; it's just me and Jane that don't have any next week."

"Lilly…,"

She kneeled down next to the bed and buried her face in the fluffy fur of the dog as he would somehow be able to answer for her if she waited long enough.

"Please, try to stay calm, sweetheart. It's not that bad."

"Not that bad? How can you manage to get detention in the first grade? Lilly, I swear to god, I won't let you see Jane outside school ever again if she keeps influencing you like that all the time. What the hell did the two of you do? Did you punch Alec again or something like that?"

"I didn't hit anyone and Jane only did it to defend me."

I put a finger underneath her tiny chin to make her look up at me again.

"That's good to hear. I mean that you didn't hit anyone. You know that I don't want you to."

Hesitantly she sat down on the edge of the bed while Ali stuffed some dry toast into the snout of the calf-sized dog.

"Ali, did you talk to her teacher about why she got detention for an entire week?"

"Yes, I did. And I actually think that it's our fault. We should have talked to that woman about the...well, about the situation we're living in."

"Excuse me, please? It's not her damn business how we're living here. How dare she…,"

"Bella, please try to stay calm. Everything will be okay. It's just a week. She won't miss too much."

"I don't care! This is not acceptable."

"Mommy, are you angry at me?" Lilly asked me worriedly.

"Yes, I am, but I'm angrier at your stupid teacher."

"Me too, mommy,"

"Why are you angry at her? Do you want to tell me about it? She didn't say anything rude to you, did she?"

"She wouldn't let me sign my drawing with my new name."

"Your new name?"

"I want to be a Swan like you and Auntie Ali. The baby will be a Swan too. I don't want to be the only one who's called Cullen. That's not fair."

Something cramped around my heart for a moment but then I pulled her closer and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"We'll see what we can do about that, sweetie." I told her, making a silent note to myself to talk to Zafrina about the name thing.

"Miss Young said that I have to put my real name on my drawing and not some fantasy name. She's so mean and when I started crying Jane jabbed the tip of her pen in Miss Young's hand."

"She did what?" God that little witch child was so weird. I really needed to make sure that she didn't influence Lilly all the time.

"Jane said that if our teacher gives me a reason to cry, she'll make sure that Miss Young has a reason to cry too."

"Oh Lilly, she shouldn't have done that. I bet her father won't be pleased that she got detention."

"But she did it for me. Can't you understand that? Oh mommy, Jane is my best friend because she's always protects me, no matter what."

I nodded my head and sighed deeply while I couldn't help but think about all the right things and all the wrong things people did to protect the people they cared for. For it was love that brought out the best and the worst in us…

**XOXXOXXOXXOXXO**

[A/N] Do you have any theories about Anne Platt? I'd love to hear your thoughts, so press the review button down there.


	89. Chapter 89

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Two updates on the same day – clear proof that I'm way too obsessed with writing this story.

This chapter here is dedicated to **aquarius127** and **Silva86**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 89****

_Ali's POV_

"Oh my god!" she called out cheerfully, her light voice raising two octaves.

"How many different kinds of candy do they sell here? This is so incredible! Benjamin, can we buy some more of those?"

He chuckled and crossed his arms in front of his chest before he took one of the boxes she was holding and put them back into the shelf.

"Try to calm down a bit, Irina. You don't have to try all of it on the same day."

She responded something in Romanian and put the box with the cookies back into the shopping card.

Benjamin leaned over and whispered into my ear.

"I bet she'll double her weight in the time she's going to spend here."

I shook my head and sighed deeply.

"I don't think so. The twins will keep her pretty busy. She won't have too much time to eat."

Irina pulled a camera out of her handbag and took several pictures of everything around her.

"Stop doing that. You're embarrassing us."

"But no one is going to believe me if I don't have any proof."

"You can send our family a picture from you behind bars if you go on with the photo stuff. The manager of the supermarket is probably going to call the cops because he's thinking that you might be a spy for another company."

"Really?"

"Oh Irina, please don't be so terribly naïve. Jeez, how old are you?"

"Seventeen…but I'm going to turn eighteen in a week."

"But you behave like a twelve year old who has never been away from home."

"You are so mean. Just for the record; technically this is the first time that I'm away from my family. My father didn't want to let me go at all but…,"

"My father talked him into sending you here - halleluja. Do me a favor and calm down a bit, because if anything goes wrong with you, sure as hell Vlad is going to blame us for it."

"Hmm, probably,"

When we returned to the car, I pulled out my cell to type a new text.

_Miss the two of you. What R U doing?_

A few seconds later her response landed on the tiny screen in front of me.

_Waiting for you to come home, what else? Is your cousin nice?_

"Alicija?"

"Hmm?"

"She's going to be nice to me, isn't she? I'm really worried about that."

"Who? Oh, you mean Rosie. Well, she's a bit superficial and bitchy from the outside but deep inside she has a heart of gold."

"As long as you don't make any comments about the hot ass of her husband you and Barbie-Girl will get along just fine."

"Why would I do such a thing? You know that I have a boyfriend back home."

"And you honestly think that he's going to wait for you for an entire year? God, you're really naïve, Irina."

"No, I'm not. I just believe in love and that it can overcome everything…just everything."

XXXX

"How could you hire an au-pair girl without asking me beforehand, McCarthy? Have you completely lost your mind now?"

"Babe, please calm down. You really need some help with the twins no matter how much you keep telling everybody that you don't."

Irina cleared her throat nervously and started twisting one of her light brown curls around her fingers.

"Please let me stay. I promise not to cause you any trouble and I'm really good with kids."

"Hmm,"

Rosalie sipped on the tea in front of her and took a bite from the stick of celery on her plate. No wonder that her mood was always so terribly low when she didn't eat properly.

"You don't look old enough to have any experience with little kids."

"I have three younger siblings. Trust me, that is almost too much experience for my taste."

"Hmm, I see. Did you come here to get some time away from them?"

"No, I didn't." she mumbled, her cheeks turning into a bright pinkish color.

"Be honest. I can't stand being lied to. Especially when someone is such a terrible poor liar like you seem to be."

"Okay, that was part of my decision, but not the only one. I really do love my brothers and sister but sometimes I really wished I could be an only child. Does that sound weird?"

Rosalie chuckled and handed her the plate with the celery. Irina took one of the sticks and started nibbling on it halfheartedly.

"No, I can understand that. It's not that easy being the oldest."

Irina nodded her head and sat down on the edge of the couch again.

"Benjamin?"

"Yes, Barbie-Girl?"

"Your cousin can stay here…for let's say a month or something like that. And if you dare to call me Barbie-Girl for just one more time I'm going to kick that ass of yours so hard you won't be able to sit down for a few days."

XXXX

"You're back, finally." She greeted me when I sat down next to her on the bed and planted a tender kiss on her soft lips.

"Sorry, it took me so long. We had to convince my sister to try the au-pair thing. But now I have a certain feeling that Irina and she are going to get along quite well."

I put a wisp of her chestnut hair behind her ear and wrapped my hand around her wrist to check her pulse again.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired but that comes probably from me spending my entire time here in bed."

"Did you have any more cramps?"

"No not since the first time. I'm really glad about that."

"Me too, Bella," I whispered and leaned over to pull her shirt up so that I could plant several kisses underneath the soft skin of her belly button.

"Hi, little baby. You're going to do fine, aren't you? We really don't want to have to worry about you all the time."

Bella giggled and pulled me up again, twisting her hands into the spikey curls of my hair.

"It's so cute when you talk to the baby. It's almost as if he's already here."

I raised one eyebrow and grabbed the ultrasonic picture from the night table.

"Dr. O'Hara didn't mention anything about the sex when he was here the last time. Or did I miss that part?"

She cupped my face between her hands and kissed the tip of my nose so lightly that her sweet breathe tickled my skin.

"I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. But I hope it's a boy."

"Really? Because I really want the baby to be a little daughter,"

"Boys are easier to handle than girls. I'm already scared of the day Lilly reaches puberty. That'll be hell on earth, I guess."

"But little girls are so cute. Just think of all the pretty dresses I could make for her."

Bella nodded her head and placed my right hand on her slightly rounded belly. The pregnancy was starting to show…well at least a tiny little bit and that filled me with so much pride that it brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't wait for the baby to be born.

Tenderly I caressed the skin on her abdomen in small circles. Then I grabbed some of the massage oil and started rubbing it gently into her pearly-white skin.

"That feels nice." she whispered, closing her beautiful chocolate eyes for a moment.

"I love you…so very much."

I kissed her mouth and swirled my tongue over her velvety bottom lip until she gasped for air and I used the opportunity to nudge the tip of my tongue against hers.

"Do you have a name yet?" she asked me when I pulled back a few moments later.

"Have you?" I whispered, resting my head against her shoulder. God, how did she manage to smell this incredibly good all the time? I wanted to crawl underneath her skin and never come out again.

"I haven't really thought about it much. It's not that easy to choose one."

"Do you want to hear the one that I want her to have?"

"Please tell me that you don't want to name her Coco after that designer you fancy so much."

I quickly shook my head and took her hand in mine to plant kisses all over her knuckles.

"Lexie-Ann, that's how I want to name her."

"How did you come up with that?"

"Don't you like it?" I asked her, rubbing my fingertips over the metal of her wedding ring. Were her fingers swollen or was that just the light inside her?

"I thought that it would be nice naming her after my mothers. Alexandra after my birth mother and Ann because of Esme's middle name."

"Esme's middle name is Anne?"

Somehow her voice sounded horrified. What the hell was wrong with her?

"Her middle name is Anne?" she repeated sitting up so quickly that she almost spilled the content of her orange juice all over the bed.

"Sweetheart, are you okay? Look, if you don't like the name, we can find another one."

"Her middle name is Anne?" she whispered so low that it was barely audible.

"Yes, that's her middle name. Her full name is Esme Anne Platt Cullen."

"That's not true." Her voice cracked like a broken record in a gramophone before she started trembling next to me.

"Bella? Are you feeling sick again? Do you want me to call Dr. O'Hara or my father?"

She burst out into tears and I wrapped my arms around her to let her sob against my shoulder until the fabric of my shirt was completely soaked through.

"Honey, please, tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me."

Hesitantly she sniffed and raised her head again, desperately trying to avoid any eye contact with me. What in heaven's name was wrong with her? Was she so overly emotional because of all the pregnancy hormones in her blood?

"She killed him," she stumbled out hoarsely fumbling for the phone on the other side of the bed.

"I can't believe she killed him. Oh god, how could she do something like that? She didn't even know Charlie, well at least not much…"

"Bella, please try to calm down again. Breathe and give me the phone. Who on earth were you going to call now?"

"Mike,"

"What for? Please, Bella, tell me why you are so scared now."

"She killed him. Oh god, she really killed him and then she sat next to me during his funeral and held my hand. How can someone be so two-faced?"


	90. Chapter 90

[Disclaimer] Last time I checked SM isn't planning on giving up her copyright on the Twilight Saga.

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of your very favorite Twilight soap aka fan-fiction. I'm totally blown away by the response for the last chapter. Thanks so much to all of you who took the time to leave a review. It really means a lot to me.

This chapter here is dedicated to **secrets87** and **megster1992**. Hope you'll enjoy.

#FAQ

What's an Au pair?

Well, an Au pair is a young girl (or a boy) who lives in another country for a limited period of time (usually a year or something like that) to learn the language by living in a family of her guest land and helping with the kids.

****Chapter 90****

_Ali's POV_

"Are there only complete incompetent morons working at that damn police station down there?" Zafrina snarled into the receiver while she continued typing texts into her silver colored cell.

"Fine,"

"Yeah, it's okay. When they should call me? Two hours ago. Jeez, how long can it take to send a goddam fax from one police station to another?"

She disconnected the call and sighed deeply before she turned to me again.

"You're not going to faint now, are you? Both of you are white like…chalk."

Bella sniffed and pulled a tissue out of her pocket to clean her nose. She had cried so much in the last hours that her eyes were red and swollen now.

"I can't believe that this is true. It can't be true. It can't be true."

I hope it's not true, I thought, nibbling my lower lip until I tasted blood on the tip of my tongue.

How would we be able to cope with this, if it turned out to be true? What if….oh god, what if….

Jasmine cleared her throat and wrapped her arms around my shoulder when she sat down next to me on the couch. I was so exhausted that I didn't even manage to tell her to keep her hands to herself because I knew that Bella hated it when she saw her touching me.

"Breathe, Ali, and stop biting your lip. The situation isn't going to get better if you get a panic attack now."

"She's right, Ali. We need to talk to your mother first before we can make any assumptions." Zafrina reminded me. I was glad that she managed to stay so calm, having her here was a true blessing.

"But they found her hair…," I started hesitantly, my voice trembling slightly. This was worse than any nightmare I had ever had before. At least a nightmare was something that ended when you woke up again. But this here would probably never end.

My hands moved down on the sides of Bella's body until I found the roundness of her belly. How could we bring an innocent child into this whole mess?

"Mommy, why are Jasmine and Zafrina still here?" Lilly asked her mother, rubbing her eyes when she walked down the stairs.

"Honey, please go to your room and try to sleep. It's really late."

"But I'm not tired."

She started biting her fingernails nervously and sat down on the first step.

"Zafrina, are you and Jasmine going to sleep here tonight?"

"No, sweetie, we're just waiting for…something and then we'll go home."

"What are you waiting for?" she asked her curiously.

"Lilly, please go to your room." Bella repeated exasperated, slowly sitting down on the couch.

"But I'm thirsty,"

"I'll get her something." I whispered, standing up from the couch. Carefully I lifted Lilly up and carried her into the kitchen, relieved that I had found something to do apart from the nerve-wracking waiting.

"Are you and mommy angry at each other?" Lilly asked me worriedly while she sipped on the glass of milk I had poured her from the fridge.

"Of course not, sweetie; what makes you think that?"

"Mommy cried and yelled and then you yelled too."

"We shouldn't have done that, Lilly. Look, sometimes…adults are…well, sometimes things are complicated for adults."

"I don't think I understand."

"You will, when you're older."

"Hmm,"

"Are you going to go back to sleep now?" I asked her, putting a small wisp of her copper curls behind her ear.

She nodded her head and walked out of the room while I put the empty glass into the dish washer before I returned to the living room.

Zafrina's cell started vibrating and she quickly flipped it open to read the new text.

"The papers are here." She mumbled so low that it was barely audible and reached for the cup of coffee on the table.

Jasmine grabbed it and shoved the bottle with the water over to her. The way they behaved around each other was starting to get a little bit weird.

"It's nice to see how much my health seems to concern you, Miss Whitlock."

"I thought it would be best if I try to keep you from getting caffeine rush or something like that. You might need your brain cells working correctly."

"My brains works best when I'm awake, Miss Whitlock."

XXXX

It was weird seeing the person I had known as my mother for my entire life sitting in front of me like this. Her heart-shaped face was so close that I would be able to nudge my forehead against hers if we hadn't been separated by the thick Plexiglas window.

I wondered if she was going to talk to me at all. She hadn't spoken one single word to Dad and Rosalie when they had visited her earlier this morning.

"Mary Alice, you shouldn't be here right now."

I cringed slightly and dropped the entire content of my handbag on the floor.

"Mom…," I mumbled, pressing my hand against the cold glass in front of me.

"You shouldn't be here. Please go home."

"No," I whispered hoarsely.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what happened."

"Mary Alice, please….I can't tell you anything. It's better for you, if you don't get involved with this here. It's probably going to get ugly."

"Mom, just tell me that you didn't do what they think you did." I pleaded her, fisting my hands so tightly that my nails cut painfully into the skin of my palm. This pain was way better for me to endure than the other…

"I can't do that, Mary Alice."

"Does that mean it's true?" My voice raised two octaves, sounding way too shrill now in my own ears.

Her lips twitched for a moment before she stared down at her folded hands in her lap.

"Mom, please tell me this isn't true. The woman who raised me isn't a murderess."

She sighed and started biting her carefully manicured fingernails for a few moments before she raised her head again.

"You were such a dear child, Mary Alice." she whispered, her voice trembling from the tears she was desperately trying to hold back.

"How could I not love you? I just wished that we hadn't lied to you about your…real mother for so long. Carlisle wanted to tell you when you turned sixteen but I talked him out of it."

"Dad wanted me to know?" I asked her skeptically.

She nodded her head and wiped a single tear from her cheekbone.

"I couldn't let him do that. You were already so confused because of your…well because of your interest in other girls. And I felt like I needed to protect you from the truth. A good mother always tries to protect her kids."

"Mom, please. We don't have to talk about this now."

"Yes, we do."

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes for a moment to fight the unpleasant dizziness. It wasn't good for my stupid heart if I got agitated like this.

"I was so jealous." she whispered, moving the fingertips of her right hand over the Plexiglas.

"Of whom?"

"Your birth mother, everything seemed to be so incredibly easy for her. She gave you away and didn't look back one single time."

That's not true, I thought bitterly. She wanted me back. I have to believe that she wanted to have me back or it's going to break my heart. How can a woman not want to have her own child back?

"Do you wish that you hadn't agreed to let me stay in your family?" I asked her hesitantly.

"No, I don't. I could never regret that. Not if I lived for a thousand years or more."

I tasted something salty on my tongue and realized that I had started to cry too.

"Mom, please… just tell the police that you didn't kill Bella's father. I know that you didn't do it."

Her lips twitched again and she pulled out a tissue to clean her running nose.

"Can you do me a favor?"

Automatically I nodded my head.

"Tell Bella that I'm so sorry about everything."

"Does that mean it's true?"

She took a deep breath before she spoke up again.

"It means I'm sorry and that's all that I can tell you."

I stood up from the plastic chair that squeaked slightly underneath me.

"Wait. There something more. Please, tell your sister not to come here anymore. The girl has enough to do with handling the twins right now."

"Rose is worried about you too."

"The only thing she should worry about right now, are Tegan and Tennessee. A good mother puts her children first and that's exactly how I raised all of you too."

XXXX

"Ali, please try to calm down." Zafrina told me while Bella wrapped her arms around me so tightly that she knocked the breath out of me for a moment. I gasped for air and she loosened her grip around my waist a bit.

"Did I hurt you?" she whispered into my ear, her breathe tickling the skin on my neck.

I took her hand in mine and started rubbing small circles all over her wrist. Her chocolate eyes met mine and when I saw my own, tortured looking face staring back at me, I knew that we were okay. That she still loved me, would always love me no matter what was going to happen.

"She didn't do it." I mumbled, resting my head against Bella's shoulder.

"Ali, I hate to tell you this. But things don't look too good for Esme." Zafrina stated hesitantly.

"I don't believe that Esme could kill anyone." Jasmine mumbled, playing with the rubber band around her left wrist.

"What you believe or what you don't believe doesn't have much weight in court."

"Zafrina, stop talking like a fucking…like a fucking lawyer. It drives me crazy."

"I'm sorry, if you don't like being told the truth, Jasmine."

"Please, could the two of you stop your little private tirade?" Bella snarled at them angrily. She was exhausted and I hoped that she somehow would be able to sleep a little bit later. Both of them, she and the baby really needed some rest.

"It's not my fault that she takes everything so personally. Well, however, to come back to the facts."

"A single hair is not a fact."

"On its own, not but together with the fact that Esme has no Alibi for the day Charlie Swan was murdered and the fact that she doesn't deny that she killed him."

"But she didn't confess that she committed the murder, did she?"

"No, she didn't. Look, Ali, I know this situation is difficult for you. All of us have a certain way we view our parents and if something happens that changes that view…,"

"My view on Esme hasn't changed and it won't because I refuse to believe that she would do something so cruel like taking someone's life."

Zafrina nodded her head and continued writing notes on her small tablet.

"You really love your mother a lot, don't you?"

"How can I not love her? She has been there for me for my entire life and she loved me although she had more than enough reason to hate me."

"Stop thinking like that, Ali. You are not responsible for how you came into this world."

"Jasmine is right," Bella whispered, pulling me closer against her. The soft curls of her long hair brushed against my face and I inhaled deeply to absorb so much of her deliciously scent as possible.

"Esme loves you, and I know, it doesn't make any difference for her that she's not your…real mother."

"See, that's exactly why I refuse to believe she murdered him. Why would she have done that? No one can be so good and so malicious at the same time."

"I'm sorry to tell you that, Ali but there is a lot more evil in the world than you would suspect."

A dry sob left my throat and I sniffed but no tears escaped my eyes. Maybe I hadn't any more of them left right now?

"There is no crime without a motive." Zafrina mumbled, nibbling on the end of her pen.

"And if Esme is lacking one of it – a motive, well there can't be a crime."

"You juristic mental leaps are starting to give me a headache." Jasmine told her reproachfully.

"But she's right. Esme has no motive to kill my father. God, she barely knew him."

"Why in heaven's name doesn't she just say that she didn't do it? I don't get it and it's driving me crazy."

XOXXOXXOXXOXOXO

[A/N] I'm pretty nervous about this chapter. It was so difficult for me to write it, I hope I did okay. Leave me some love and press the review button down there.


	91. Chapter 91

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Blows kisses to all her lovely readers out there. Your encouraging feedback means so much to me, so thanks a lot for it.

This chapter here is dedicated to **Fuzzyfeelins** and **Assassin718**. Hope you'll enjoy

#FAQ

How many more chapters will this story have?

My original plan was to end it with chapter 100 but I highly doubt that I'll be finished with it at that time. There is still so much more that I want to write. I hope people won't start getting annoyed by the length of the story.

****Chapter 91****

"She would never do something like that." I told him, trying to keep my voice calm. My nerves were so terribly tensed that I constantly had to fight the embarrassing urge to cry all the time.

His lips twitched into a small smile while he sipped on the glass of water in front of him.

"Maybe that's just because you don't know her well enough."

"Look, I know that you don't want to hear it but things are exactly the other way round. Jane is the one who influences Lilly all the time."

"But my _principessa_…,"

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"Did Jane tell you that Lilly suggested stabbing their teacher into her hand?"

"Of course not, my _principessa_ is way too protective of your little _rossa_ that's why she told me that it was her idea. But I refuse to believe that my daughter would harm her poor teacher."

"Nobody wants to believe that their child did something wrong."

"Hmm, probably,"

He stood up from the armchair and sighed deeply.

"Maybe we shouldn't let them spend so much time together. They are…too close to each other."

"Yes, no…well, I'm not sure about that. But we should definitely talk about things with them."

When they walked down the stairs, Jane had her tiny arm wrapped around Lilly's shoulder. I couldn't help but think that she truly reminded me of an evil little witch.

"Are you still angry at us?" Lilly asked me worriedly.

"_Lilly non ha colpa_. How often will I have to tell you that?" she snarled at her father, her grey eyes turning into small slits.

"Janetta, please stop defending her all the time. I'm getting tired of it. I'm sure it was her idea."

"No, it wasn't. She had nothing to do with it. Do you hear me? _Niente_!"

Lilly started biting her fingernails nervously until Jane grabbed her hand around her wrist.

"Stop doing that all the time. No one is going to hurt you. I won't let that happen."

"But your dad is so angry that you are not allowed to go to school because of me."

"It's not because of you, but because of our stupid teacher. She shouldn't have made you cry."

Her tiny mouth curved into a half-smile before she put a wisp of Lilly's hair behind her ear.

Aro shook his head and sighed deeply before he kneeled down in front of his daughter.

"_Principessa_, you need to stop defending her all the time. If she's so innocent like you say, how can it be that she got detention too?"

"That's just because our _stronza_ teacher can't stand her. You should really allow me to switch to the school Zia Didyme suggested. They even have horses there for the kids to ride on."

"Janetta, we can't afford sending you to a private school."

"But Zia Didyme said she would pay for it."

"_Principessa_, where's your pride? There is no way we're going to accept money from your aunt."

"Too bad,"

"I don't want you to go to another school, Jane." Lilly mumbled towards the floor.

"If you aren't there anymore, who's going to protect me?"

XXXX

"How are you feeling?" she asked me, circling her dainty fingertips over the skin underneath my belly button.

"Are you asking me or the baby?"

"Both of you,"

I cupped her face between my hands and planted a soft kiss on her ruby tinted mouth.

"I think, we're doing okay, concerning the current…situation. Dr. O'Hara thinks that I'm not going to lose the child."

"That's good news."

She leaned down to blow feather light kisses all over my face.

"I love you and I really wished that I could protect the two of you better."

"It's not necessary to protect us. I just want you to love me…us."

She rested her head against my lap and I started playing with the spikey curls of her hair.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, stroking down her cheekbone with my fingertips until I reached her full lower lip.

"What for?"

"For yelling at you when you told me that you didn't believe that Esme killed Charlie. I really shouldn't have done that."

"Shhh," she murmured, putting one finger against my mouth to silence me.

"You don't have to apologize to me."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"Is she still refusing to talk about what happened?"

"Yes, she is. Dad hired two lawyers for her but she insists that it isn't necessary. How can she stay so damn calm about this? It is like she isn't afraid of staying in jail at all."

"Maybe she isn't really grasping her situation fully?"

"I don't know. But I hope she'll start talking soon. Zafrina suggested that we should let her see a psychologist just to be sure there isn't anything wrong with her…in that way."

XXXX

"Your mother is not crazy. Esme knows exactly what she's doing." Jasmine assured her while she continued running her fingertips over the edge of her glass, making it cling underneath her touch.

"Stop that! It's so annoying." Ali snarled at her honey-blonde friend.

"She's just doing that because she's nervous." Zafrina mumbled, shoving the empty glass over to the other side of the table.

"I can speak for myself." Jasmine stated, twisting her messy curls into a sloppy ponytail.

"Well, to come back to Esme. I think that she's hiding something."

"Oh really? I thought maybe she just likes staying behind bars." Zafrina whispered, sipping on the cup of coffee in front of her.

"Didn't they tell you how to get people to talk during your study?" she asked Jasmine who had placed one arm around Ali's shoulder now.

"Didn't they tell you how to make sure how the right people end up in jail? Or did you spend your entire time in law school flirting with everyone around you?"

"Unlike you…Miss Whitlock some of us had to work to afford going to university and then I had my brother who scared off most of my…admirers."

"Is your brother a lawyer too?" I asked her, wrapping my arm around Ali's waist. When I leaned over to plant a kiss on the exposed skin of her neck she seemed to relax a tiny little bit.

"Derek is State Attorney,"

"That explains why he act-ed so stiff when you introduced us."

"He only was like that because he can't stand you, Jasmine."

"Let me guess. He doesn't like me because I told him to stop torturing the poor bike?"

"No, it hasn't anything to do with that. My brother doesn't like you because you're white."

"Excuse me? Is this supposed to be a joke?"

"I'm afraid it's not. Look, I'm not really proud about his attitude but that's just the way it is."

"Whatever. It's not like I was planning to spend a lot of my rare free time with him."

Zafrina giggled and started playing with the rubber bands around Jasmine's wrist.

"Do you honestly think that you are so much better than him?"

"I'm not a racist."

Her face paled for a moment before she cleared her throat nervously.

"You don't think, I'm one, do you?"

"I know you're not. But you and he are both full of prejudices. The way you think about bisexuality is based upon nothing but that."

"It's not. I have reasonable arguments that I've told you about over and over again."

"Yeah I know, I'm supposed to fuck around all the time and to catch all kind of STD's. Oh and don't forget the whole threesomes and foursomes and the rest of the kinky stuff. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I have to throw a coin to decide whether I like cock or pussy for breakfast."

"The thought of a guy touching you makes me want to vomit in my mouth. Why the hell do you have to be _that _way?

She sighed deeply and stood up from the couch.

"Grow up, cowgirl. The world is not just straight or gay. People screw up no matter which team they're playing for. And you are just scared."

"I'm not scared."

"Oh yes you are. You push every chance of getting happy in your life away from you and prefer mourning over something that was never meant to be."

"How dare you, tell me what is or isn't meant to be for me? You're just jealous."

"Don't be ridiculous. You know what? I'm tired of discussing with you all the time. I have to do that at work all the time and it's too exhausting to deal with something like that in my private life too."

She cleared her throat and tried to keep her voice calm when she turned to me and Ali again.

"I'll call you later. Try to keep your nerves. You may need them for what is coming."

When she was out of the room, Jasmine's mouth opened and closed for a few times but not a single noise came out of it.

"Are you okay?" Ali asked her worriedly, shaking her forearm for a moment.

"She's pretty pissed at me, isn't she?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course, it does. I don't want her to be angry at me. I like her."

"You have a strange way of showing her that you like her." my pixie-like wife stated reproachfully.

"I'm not showing her anything. I don't _like_ Zafrina …at least not in that way."

"Are you fucking stupid, Jazz? It's obvious to everyone around you that you like her. I see the way you keep looking at her when you think no one is watching you."

XXXX

I stuffed another one of the deliciously tasting almond cookies into my mouth where it almost instantly melted on my tongue.

"Why was Aro here?" Ali asked me when she handed me the cup with my hot chocolate.

"To talk about the detention of our daughters,"

"Oh that. I'm sure he wasn't too pleased about what his little _principessa_ has done."

"That's putting it mildly. Like I need dealing with that too. Best thing was that he assumed that Lilly made Jane stab her teacher's hand. It's his evil, little witch of a daughter who is influencing Lilly all the time. She's the one who hangs on every word that comes out of Jane's mouth and I really would like to know why it is that way."

"Because Lilly feels like Jane is protecting her all the time and she's still too young to understand that it hasn't got anything to do with protection when Jane hits other kids…or her teacher to defend her."

I took a sip from the hot chocolate and sighed deeply.

"Do you think I should tell Lilly to stay away from Jane?"

"If you want her to be mad at you,"

Ali took one of the almond cookies and waved with it in front of my mouth.

"You really like those, don't you?"

"Hmm,"

"Can I tell you something? I actually think, it's cute how they act around each other. When I picked Lilly up from her headmaster's office she asked him over and over again not to punish Jane for protecting her."

"And he?"

"Said that it doesn't matter to him why Jane acted like that. He told Lilly that she needed to learn to defend herself on her own for there won't always be someone who will keep unpleasant things out of her way."

My hands started quivering so much that I dropped the rest of my cup of hot chocolate on the floor where it left a dark mark on the carpet.

"Bella? Are you feeling dizzy again?"

"Yes and no. I think that I might have figured out why Esme refuses to tell anyone that she didn't kill Charlie."

"Bella, I don't want to fight with you again but no matter what you say. There is no way I'm ever going to believe that my mother is a killer."

"I know."

I took several deep breaths through my mouth before I managed to speak up again, my voice trembling slightly.

"Esme is trying to protect the real murderer."

"What kind of nonsense is that supposed to be? She would never, ever protect such a dastardly person."

"Probably not, but there is someone that she would always protect, always no matter what."

[A/N] I really love reading all your theories about things. Some of you have such brilliant ideas. I'd like to know how many of you would be interested in reading a flashback scene of the night Charlie died.


	92. Chapter 92

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I'm so terribly nervous about this chapter. (okay, I'm always nervous when I post because I'm way too sensitive and still so insecure of my writing). Anyway, this is going to be the flashback scene of the night Charlie died and will hopefully answer a few question.

This chapter here is dedicated to **simplyathinker** and **mydsgirl**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 92****

_Esme_

This was a horrible place, a horrible place crowded with the most horrible people I had ever seen in my life.

How much longer would they make me stay here? I pulled my knees against my chest and sighed deeply, desperately trying to keep new tears from falling. Crying wasn't going to help my situation one tiny bit and I didn't even feel like I deserved any kind of help. Everything that had happened was my fault. M-ine and…,

"Mrs. Cullen, you have a visitor." A young uniformed woman with short cropped hair informed me. Her blue eyes narrowed for a moment when I didn't stand up immediately.

"Tell my daughters to go home. I'm not in the mood for…,"

"I'm not your fucking secretary, Missy! Get your skinny ass over to the goddamn visitation room, right now. Besides I highly doubt that the two ladies are related to a cop killing scum like you."

I twisted my hair into a knot at the back of my neck and followed her silently. Everyone that worked here was so awfully rude all the time.

My knees trembled when I sat down on the plastic chair opposite the small table with the Plexiglas that separated me from the free world on the other side.

"Good morning, Esme. How are you feeling today?"

I cleared my throat nervously before I managed to speak up, my voice sounding way to shrill in my own ears.

"Jasmine, what in heaven's name are you doing here with Zafrina? I don't need another lawyer."

"Trust me, Esme, you do."

Zafrina pulled a small tablet out of her handbag while Jasmine continued nibbling on a candy bar.

"Look, we are here because your family doubts that you're fully grasping the possible consequences of your arrest."

"I'm in jail. How much more consequences can it have? Please, just do home. There is nothing that you can do for me, so don't waste your time."

"We're not wasting our time." Jasmine told me calmly.

"Talking is never a waste of time."

"Hmm," Zafrina nodded her head and started taking notes.

"Can I ask you something? If I…theoretically… confessed that I did kill Charlie Swan would that change things for me for the better?"

"Why would you be so incredibly stupid to confess something that you didn't do?"

"It would stop the whole questioning. That's so exhausting."

"Because it's hard to lie the entire time, isn't it?" Jasmine stated, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I'm not lying. I just prefer not to talk about what happened."

"That's basically the same."

Zafrina's lips twitched into the weak attempt of a smile before she continued.

"There are only two possibilities. The first one is that you did kill him and if that's the case we need to find out your motive."

"Maybe she had an affair with him and didn't want her husband to find out?" Jasmine mumbled, playing with the small silver bracelet around her wrist.

Zafrina giggled and put one of Jasmine's blond curls behind her ear.

"You have a dirty mind."

"No, I just know how people are like. Most people are unfaithful."

"Stop saying things like that. I never cheated on Carlisle and I never would."

"But this is exactly what everyone is going to assume. There is no other possible reason why you should have murdered the poor man."

"I didn't…," I stammered out, pressing my hand in front of my mouth.

"Yeah, we know. We know that you didn't kill anyone. You aren't capable of doing something so horrible."

"Jasmine is actually right and that brings me back to the second possibility."

"That I'm innocent?"

"No, just that you're prefer to keep your mouth shut in order to protect the real killer."

"You're a good mother, aren't you? Always trying to protect your children…"

"Isn't that what a mother is supposed to do?"

"To a certain extent – yes, but you can't protect your kids from everything and you sure as hell can't protect them from themselves."

"Oh, yes, I can and I will." I whispered, swallowing hard to keep the tears from falling. It didn't work and when I opened my mouth to speak again, nothing but several sobs escaped my throat.

"Esme, I wonder if you would probably do the same for Rosalie and Ali too. Or is that just something between you and your son?"

"I love all my children just the same. But when a child is sick…a mother hangs on that child even more, because the child needs her more. Does that make any sense to you?"

"A little bit. Please, Esme, tell us what really happened that night. It's the only way you can help both of you…,"

I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them again, I couldn't dare to look them in the eyes. So I just stared down at my own hands, the hands that had wiped away a dying man's blood. Hesitantly started to speak about what I had promised to keep a secret for the rest of my days.

XOXXOXXOXXOXXOX

"_Mother, did you hear anything of what I told you in the last five minutes?" he asked me reproachfully when he parked the car in front of the small house._

"_I'm sorry, I was just in thoughts. How long do you think will it take for the money to be transferred to Paris?"_

"_Two days," he stated, running his fingers through his tousled copper hair._

"_How often are you going to ask me about that?"_

"_Well, I'm just worried…,"_

"_If you ask me, you shouldn't send her any money at all – point. Mary Alice needs to learn to deal with the consequences of her actions."_

_-"You sound exactly like your father."_

"_Because he's actually right in this and I'm sure he wouldn't approve of you supporting her pointless nonsense behind his back."_

"_You're not going to tell him, are you?"_

"_No, I won't, don't worry about that, mom."_

_His voice was smooth and warm when he spoke but then his green eyes narrowed into tiny angry slits._

"_You always loved the little bastard more than me and that although she isn't even your own child."_

_I sighed deeply and put my arm on his shoulder._

"_Please, how often will I have to tell you to stop calling your sister a bastard? You know that I love all three of you just the same."_

"_You never made such a tantrum when I was away from home."_

"_Because you never have been that far away…,"_

"_Jeez, mom, Mary Alice is just in Europe not on another planet and I would highly appreciate it if you'd manage focus on helping me dealing with that man now. He's driving me insane with his stupid questions. I don't have the nerves to deal with this crap."_

"_Edward, stay calm. Everything will be just fine."_

_I knocked on the door and a split second later it was opened in a swift movement._

"_Mrs. Cullen? What are you doing here? Is your son too chicken to speak to me on his own?"_

"_Oh please call me Esme and stop being so rude to the poor boy all the time. He really loves your daughter a lot."_

"_So, does he?" he mumbled, when we walked into the small living room. The house was almost empty, the previous owner had obviously just left a few pieces of old furniture behind that they didn't need anymore._

"_Charlie, I don't know why you wanted to meet me here instead of in your own house."_

_He cleared his throat nervously before he spoke up again. The words coming out of his mouth sharp like razor blades._

"_I thought this would be more appropriate."_

"_Why?" I asked him, offended by the harsh tone he was using._

"_Do you honestly want your mother to be here for this? She might not like what she's going to hear."_

_Edward chuckled and sat down on the edge of a plastic covered couch, his mouth twitching into a crooked smile._

"_My mother isn't going to believe any lies that you're going to tell her about me…and Bella too."_

"_Don't be so sure about that, son…,"_

_My eyes met those of my son and I realized that they the green of them had darkened a few shades. His hands were clenched into fists and it was obvious that he had trouble to remain calm._

"_How dare you, cheat on my girl behind her back…while she's carrying your child, you fucking little piece of scum!"_

_Edward paled and for a moment I wondered if he was going to be sick now._

"_You don't have any proof for this nonsense."_

"_Oh yes, I have." he mumbled, pulling an envelope out of his jacket. When he placed it on the table in front of us, next to his silver colored gun, a smile flashed over his face._

"_You should thank god that I'm not considering making my grandchild a half-orphan!" he snarled at him, grabbing his hand around the collar of Edward's shirt._

"_I knew that you would fuck up. I just knew it."_

"_Charlie, please try to compose yourself, it's not going to help us deal with the…situation if you keep yelling all the time."_

"_Deal with the situation?"_

"_Edward, tell him that you're sorry."_

"_No, I won't. He has no right to stick his damn nose into things that aren't his business at all."_

"_My daughter is my business."_

"_She's my wife too."_

"_Bella won't be your wife for long anymore when she sees these pictures. She's going to divorce that cheating ass of yours so fast you won't even know what's happening."_

"_You won't tell her. This would break her heart. Do you want to be responsible for that?" _

"_Don't tell me what to do! Better to have a broken heart than to live with a cheating bastard for the rest of her life."_

"_You won't tell her! I won't let you do that! No one is going to take Bella away from me. She's the only one who has ever been mine…just mine!"_

_I put one hand on his shoulder and started rubbing up and down his quivering shoulders in an attempt to calm him down again._

"_Edward, please try to compose yourself."_

"_Don't tell me what to do, mom. Bella is not like you. She wouldn't forgive me if she'd find out about the affair. God, damn it…,"_

_Charlie stood up from the chair he had been sitting on and cleared his throat._

"_I'm leaving now. This discussion here won't lead to anything and I have a very unpleasant conversation with my daughter coming up."_

"_You won't tell her! I won't let you! I won't let you!" His voice raised two octaves while he grabbed the damn gun from the table and started fumbling with it._

"_Edward, in heaven's name, put that thing down again. What do you think, you're doing?"_

"_I won't let him tell her! I won't let him tell her!"_

_A loud noise filled the air for a moment before dark, crimson droplets of fresh blood trickled down on the white envelope on the table._

_Several guttural moans and groans escaped Charlie's throat and I knew that would never be able to forget the horrified expression on his face before he collapsed on the floor._

_For a few moments I wasn't able to move one single inch. And so I just stayed where I was, almost like frozen, and waited._

_Then I heard a loud sobbing next to me and turned my head._

"_Oh god, what have I done? What have I done? What have I done?"_

_Slowly he dropped the gun back on the table again, wiping his running nose at the sleeve of his shirt._

"_Edward?"_

"_What have I done? Oh god, I don't know what came over me."_

_I kneeled down and wrapped my hand around Charlie's wrist to check his pulse._

"_Please, tell me he's not dead. How should I explain that to Bella?"_

"_We have to call the police._

"_No! No police! They would arrest me. Do you want that?"_

"_Of course, not," I stumbled out, slowly trying to stand up from the ground again._

"_But we can't just sit here and do nothing. Maybe we could tell them it was an accident. It was an accident, wasn't it?"_

"_Mom, you can't call the cops. They won't believe us about this…accident. Please, you have to help me…oh please, mom."_

_He sobbed again and buried his face in his hands. When he raised his head again he looked like a scared little boy and something cramped painfully around my heart._

"_Please mom…,"_

_I took his quivering hand in mine and squeezed it gently._

"_I'm going to call your father. He's going to help us."_

"_No…he would probably send me away into this awful asylum again. You have no idea how horrible that was the last time. They made me feel like I was crazy."_

"_Edward, you just shoot a man into the head. It's not normal to do things like that. Please, let me call your father, so that he can get help for you."_

"_No, please, mom. Just think of the poor baby and Bella. I can't just admit that I hear voices when I 'm stressed."_

_He shoved the blood covered envelope in the pocket of his jeans and sighed deeply._

"_It was your fault that he sent me away the first time and you know it."_

_I cringed and pulled out a few tissues to wipe away the blood from the table._

"_You sent me away because you didn't want to deal with my problems on top with the heart condition of the fucking little bastard. If it wasn't for her I could have stayed just home to get an ambulant therapy."_

"_That's not true."_

"_Oh, yes it is. You're just ashamed to admit that you love her more than your own flesh and blood."_

_He grabbed my arm so tightly that I was sure his fingers would leave a mark on my skin._

"_If you tell anyone about this, everyone is going to blame you. For it sure as hell wouldn't have happened if you had been a better mother."_


	93. Chapter 93

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of your very favorite Twilight soap aka fan-fiction.

This chapter here is dedicated to **SOFisticated1** and **SiempreCrystalClear**. Hope you'll enjoy

****Chapter 93****

"Please, say something." I whispered, wrapping my arm around her quivering shoulder. My fingertips stroked up and down over the bare skin on her forearm in small circles, while I waited for her to respond. It didn't happen and when I cupped her face between my hands to make her look up to me again, I realized that her cheeks were dry.

She couldn't even cry and seemed to be completely shocked from the horrifying news we had heard just minutes ago.

I pulled her closer to me and rubbed her back, wondering why I could manage to stay so incredibly calm.

Maybe it was because I was trying to stay strong for her, for I knew that she would crumble into millions of tiny pieces if I would break down now.

"Bella, stop biting your lip like that or it's going to start bleeding." Zafrina told me while Jasmine kneeled down next to Ali and started shaking her gently.

"Breathe, sweetie, everything is going to be okay."

"Nothing will be okay!" she stumbled out, before she burst into tears.

"My brother killed Bella's father. How can you say that things will be okay? God, this is so messed up."

I sighed deeply and took several deep breaths through my mouth, while several dry sobs escaped my throat.

"I'm so…so very sorry, honey." she whispered against the soaked fabric of my shirt.

"Ali, you don't have to apologize to me. It's not your fault what happened."

"Oh sure it is."

"What?" my voice raised two octaves and I almost spilled the content of my tea cup all over the table in front of me.

"Why in heaven's name do you think that you're responsible for anything your…well, for anything that Edward has done?"

Ali sniffed and pulled a tissue out of her pocket to clean her nose loudly.

"I know that it's not my fault that he killed the poor man, but it's my fault that he managed to blackmail our mother."

"I don't think I understand." I mumbled, taking her dainty hand in mine to squeeze it gently.

She sighed deeply and cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"Look, when I was a little girl I was constantly sick and Esme spent so much time with me in the hospital."

"Stop thinking like that. Your brother isn't like he is because your mother neglected him as a kid. That's bullshit and I don't want you to worry about it." Jasmine stated, standing up from the ground again.

"She's right." I assured her, planting a soft kiss on the spikey curls of her hair.

Jasmine's mouth twitched for a moment before she turned to me.

"You're surprising me, Bella. I didn't expect you to be the strong one in this…situation. Or maybe you're the one who is too shocked to be upset right now?"

"I don't know how I am supposed to feel right now. Does that sound stupid?"

"No, it doesn't. No one is really prepared for what happened to the two of you. But I assume it's a good thing that you have each other."

"Hmm,"

The doorbell rang and Ali wiped another trail of fresh tears from her cheeks before she stood up from the couch to open the door.

When she returned a few moments later, followed by a tall man, Zafrina snarled angrily.

"They sent you? I didn't know the department of public prosecution had such trouble sending someone who's a little bit more competent."

"Hello, to you too, sister," he greeted her through gritted teeth.

Then he cleared his throat and turned to me. His voice was smooth and polite and in a very unpleasant way it reminded me of Edward. A shiver of fear went down my spine and I instantly pulled Ali towards me again until she was sitting on my lap.

"Mrs. Swan, my name is Derek Haley and I'm here to talk to you about the recent…changes concerning the case of your father."

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again I had to blink away a few tears that were glistening in their corners.

"Is this really necessary? I've already talked to the police…several times."

"But now the situation has changed." He stated calmly, pulling a thick folder out of his leather bag.

"Are you feeling well enough to speak to me? I assure you that it won't take too long."

I nodded my head, hoping to be able to endure this without having a nervous breakdown in front of him.

"Would you like something to drink?" Ali asked in an attempt to give me a few more moments to prepare for the things to come.

"Coffee would be nice."

"Fine, I'll get you some. Do you want Milk and Sugar with it?"

"Two sugars and no milk," His eyes met Zafrina's whose eyes narrowed for a split second.

"There is no use putting milk in coffee. It just ruins the purpose of it because it's going to make you sleepy."

"Some people really like milk in their coffee…just for the taste of it."

"Some people are stupid and don't know what things are not supposed to mix with each other."

Ali returned with the coffee cup and placed it directly in front of him on the table.

"Thanks," he mumbled before taking a small sip.

"Did you speak to that shithead…ahm, I mean to the defendant?" Zafrina asked him, trying to keep her voice casual. For a reason I couldn't really tell she seemed pretty pissed at him and I highly doubted that it had anything to do with Edward's trial.

"Zafrina, you actually know that I'm not supposed to tell you anything about preliminary proceedings."

"Oh don't be like that, Derek. You know that all I have to do is fill an application for access records. Why don't you save us both a boring afternoon with paperwork?"

"I hate it when you use that smartass voice on me. But to answer your question yes I have spoken to both of them."

"Both of them? Does that mean my mother is still in jail?" Ali whispered, resting her head against my shoulder.

"Yes, but they will set her free on bail money tomorrow."

"That's good to hear."

"Don't get your hopes up too high. It's very much likely that she'll get a jail sentence too."

"What for?" I asked him, fisting my hand so tightly that my fingernails cut painfully into my palm.

"Complicity in murder, obstruction of justice, cover-up of a criminal offense…the list goes on. Do you want to hear the rest too?"

"No," mumbled.

"I don't think that's necessary."

"And what about Edward? Did he confess that he killed the poor man?"

"No, he didn't."

"So, he's denying it?"

"Not exactly." he mumbled so low that it was barely audible.

"Not exactly? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Zafrina questioned while she started playing with one of Jasmine's curls before she put it behind her ear. Her fingertips moved up and down on Jasmine's exposed neck until a low giggle left the blonde woman's throat.

"Would you consider stopping fumbling on your snowflake girlfriend for five minutes, Zafrina? That's so irritating."

Jasmine's mouth twitched and for a moment it looked as if she would hit him straight in the face now for his comment, but when she spoke up her voice was sweet and smooth like honey.

"Do you have moral problems seeing your sister with another woman? Because there are some wonderful self-help-group for homophobic…,"

"I'm not against gays, or whatever kind of orientation Zafrina claims to have. It's just that…well, forget it…it doesn't even matter. Why are you here for anyway? You're not a lawyer, are you?"

"She's a psychologist and I've already told you that before." Zafrina stated, rubbing her hand over the denim fabric of Jasmine's skirt.

"And they need to have one here…exactly why?"

"Stop being an ass, Derek and just tell us what Edward told you when you confronted him with the murder."

"Well at first he said that he didn't do it, and then he confessed that he was there that night with his mother but he said he doesn't remember shooting. Everything is pretty complicated because we don't have any proof but one single hair and the testimony of his mother."

"You should have him checked by a psychiatrist. In case you haven't noticed it yet, Edward Cullen is not quite right in the head." Jasmine mumbled, drawing circles over the skin on Zafrina's wrist.

"In case you haven't noticed it yet, no one is asking for your opinion, Missy." he snarled at her.

"Oh yes, we are. She knows more about that kind of stuff than me or you ever could. If you won't force him to talk to someone professional, I can apply directly to make sure he does. That man is a danger to his environment and we should be glad that he didn't harm his poor daughter or his wife lethally during one of his outbursts."

Derek nodded his head and sighed deeply.

"I didn't say that I won't let him see someone just that I don't care about your snowflake girlfriend's opinion on the subject."

"Derek…," she warned him, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Just for the record; it doesn't change one tiny bit whether he's crazy or not. He killed a police officer out of base motives. One way or another, he'll stay locked up for the rest of his life."

A loud sobbing noise reached my ears and it took me a moment to realize that it was coming out of my own throat.

"I think that's enough for now. You can speak to my client again, when…well I'll call you about the when. There is no need to cause her any more torture and pain. Maybe you can just send the papers to my office and I'll sort them through."

"Hmm, yes of course."

He stood up and cleared his throat nervously.

"Mrs. Swan, I know that my words aren't able to make any difference about your loss but let me tell you that I am…we are extremely sorry about what happened to your father. No one deserves to die like that…no one. You can be sure that his murderer is going to pay for what he did to your family."

When he walked out of the house, I sniffed and Ali handed me a tissue to clean my running nose.

"I don't care." I stumbled out, desperately trying to suppress the trembling in my voice.

"I don't care, I don't care. What difference is it going to make? Charlie is dead and not coming back to me…ever."

Ali wrapped her arms around me and I buried my face against her shoulder, taking several deep breaths though my nose to absorb as much of her scent as possible, knowing that it somehow would be able to help me to calm down again.

"Bella, I'm pretty sure that you do care. You're just exhausted. Are you sure that you don't want to see a doctor? He could prescribe you something for your nerves." Jasmine stated, putting one hand on my shoulder.

"I can't take anything because of the baby…it's too risky."

"Maybe she should lay down a bit now. She looks as if she's going to faint any moment." Zafrina suggested, taking a sip from the glass of water in front of her.

"Can I ask you something?" Ali whispered, nervously nibbling on her fingernails.

"How are they going to force him to talk to a psychiatrist? I mean until now he refused to have his mental status checked."

"Until now he wasn't accused of having committed first-degree murder. But my arrogant prick of a brother was actually right. One way or another Edward Cullen is going to pay for his actions. The only question is will it behind bars or inside a padded cell.

XOXXOXXOXXOXOX

[A/N] I was wondering if one of you would be so nice to explain the US justice system a bit to me. It would really help me a lot for writing the court scene. (That's going to be chapter 100 in case you wanted to know).

I suffered a little bit from insomnia last night and so I looked up some visuals for the story. If you aren't interested in that kind of stuff – just ignore it. Just because I imagine the characters looking a certain way, doesn't mean you have.

Remove the () to see the linked pictures.

Lilly

http(:/)i2(.)pinger(.)pl/pgr23/e174b50c001fe1e64ca5d715/Mackenzie+Foy+%282%29(.)png

Zafrina

https(:/)picasaweb(.)google(.)com/lh/photo/UKy2YPs9YpIBOjlIwVLZug

Jasmine

http(:/)www3(.)images(.)/photos/264330/kate-hudson-gallery(.)jpg


	94. Chapter 94

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N]

This chapter here is dedicated to s**ecrets87** for always leaving such lovely reviews for me. It really means a lot.

**#Inkontin** - If you want to read a chapter completely about Zafrina & Jasmine I recommend reading the second chapter of my story _**Liquid Dreams**_.

****Chapter 94****

Life moves on, even when the most horrible things on earth are being thrown at you, it still does. The sickness and unpleasant dizziness I had felt during the first weeks of my pregnancy vanished almost completely although Dr. O'Hara still wouldn't allow me to start working again. He insisted that I needed to rest and my 'babysitters' were determined to make sure I took his advice serious.

Angela and Ali didn't allow me to lift one single finger and after a few weak attempts of protesting, I finally started to enjoy being petted like that all the time. I couldn't remember any other time in my adult life when someone else had cared so much about me.

The only bad thing about it was that it gave me way too much time to think of all the things that I didn't want to spend too much time thinking about. Something cramped painfully around my heart whenever I thought of Charlie and the senseless way his life had ended way too soon. Maybe if I hadn't been so naïve and blind to stumble into a marriage with a man I barely knew all of this hadn't happened.

Too much had happened and I was afraid of the way it would possibly affect my relationship with Ali. Damn it, I didn't want things to change between us – ever.

My fingertips moved over the skin right underneath my belly button while I continued playing with the spikey curls of Ali's hair.

"You're distracting me," she mumbled taking my hand in hers to blow a gentle kiss over the back of my hand.

"I really need to get some of these sketches done today or they're probably going to regret that they hired me pretty soon."

I leaned over to plant a kiss on her velvety lips before I glimpsed at the small black and white drawing that was supposed to turn into dress. Right now it looked more like flower petals swirled around a human body to me. Was it supposed to look that way?

"Maybe you should consider working in that new studio your boss rented for you. Although I have to admit that it's lovely watching you the entire day. It's so fascinating to watch your face when you are concentrated like that."

"I can't really concentrate when I know you're observing what I'm doing."

She poured me a glass of orange juice and handed it to me. When her fingertips touched mine something like a very pleasant electric current went through my entire body. Warmth spread through me and for a split second I wondered what was causing it. Then I realized that I wanted her, really wanted her and that I craved for her gentle touch like flowers craved water. It had been way too long since we had been together like _that_.

My hand circled over the small stripe of exposed skin on her flat stomach before it moved high enough to reach the underside of her bra.

"Bella…," she whispered hoarsely, wrapping her hand around my wrist.

"I'm sorry but I can't."

I dropped my hands to my side and turned my head to the other side of the wall. It was the first time she had rejected me and somehow it brought tears to my eyes. God, how terribly embarrassing…

"Look at me," she mumbled putting one finger underneath my chin to make me raise my head again.

"You're not angry at me now, are you?"

"No, I'm not. It's just…,"

"Just what?" she asked me worriedly.

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"I hate that everything is so tensed between us. It's like you're constantly afraid that I'd be mad at you."

She cringed and stood up from the couch, so quickly that she dropped the rest of orange juice from my glass all over the table.

"Crap. I'll get something to clean this up again."

When she rushed into the kitchen the doorbell rang and I went to open it.

"Why are you up? Aren't you supposed to rest, like a good mommy-to-be should?" Stefan asked me reproachfully while Angela behind him rolled her eyes at that.

"I'm sure that it's not that good for the baby if she doesn't move at all. She just shouldn't do any housework but that's why I'm here."

"Hmm,"

"Is Ali still here? She mentioned something about trying to work at that studio today."

I nodded my head and walked back into the living room where Ali instantly pulled me on the couch again.

"You shouldn't have answered the door. I can do that for you."

"Ali, I'm not in need for permanent care. I hate being such a burden for you all the time."

"I like taking care of the two of you." she assured me, circling her hand over my underbelly.

Then she turned to Stefan and Angela and her mouth twisted into a bright smile.

"I'm so glad that you're helping me to handle her. Bella is trying to distract me and I really need to get some of my sketches done."

"Why aren't you working in that fancy studio your boss is paying for? Oh let me guess, you don't want to go there because you don't want to be alone." Angela assumed calmly.

"Not exactly…it's more that I don't want to leave Bella on her own here. What if something happens to her while I'm away?" She mumbled, crossing her hand in front of her chest.

"You can't protect her from everything and you don't have to do that." Stefan assured her, taking her hand in his to squeeze it for a moment.

"He's actually right, Ali. And I actually think that it would be good for the two of you if you'd give each other some time to breathe." Angela told her, sitting down next to me on the couch.

"Okay, I'm leaving but just because I really need to get some work done and it's unlikely that I manage to bring something down to paper when I focus on Bella's well-being all the time."

She planted a soft kiss on my forehead before she stuffed her sketch block into her handbag.

"Promise me to take care of her, will you?"

"She's in good hands with us. Please stop worrying, it's completely unnecessary."

When she walked out of the house I kept starring after her for several minutes before Angela kind of lost her patience with me.

"Bella, for heaven's sake, she's going to be back in a few hours. It's not going to happen sooner if you keep your eyes locked at the door."

"I'm sorry," I stumbled out, twisting my hair into a messy ponytail.

"It's just…,"

"Just that the two of you have been through quit a lot in the last time."

"That's putting it mildly."

Angela wrapped her arms around me and started rubbing my back up and down in small circles.

"I'm going to make you a tea. Do you want to eat something too?"

I nodded my head and had to swallow back some tears when she rushed into the kitchen. God, everything was so hopelessly messed up…

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"I know that you won't believe me about what I'm going to tell you. But everything is going to be okay. Time is a great healer."

"How is time going to change the fact that my father is dead? Dead because my own husband killed him." my words came out much too harsh and a split second later I felt the first tears rolling down my cheeks.

Stefan cleared his throat and handed me a tissue to clean my nose.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. That's not good for the baby…and for you."

He sighed deeply before he continued.

"Look, nothing is going to change the fact that your father is dead but you need to accept that fact and let go. It's hard to lose someone you love. When Sasha…,"

He stopped abruptly when Angela returned and placed a mug with a deliciously smelling tea in front of me.

"Thanks," I mumbled, taking a small sip from the steaming hot liquid.

"You're welcome."

When she turned to her husband her lips twitched for a moment before she spoke up, her voice sounding warm and gentle while she slowly started to speak.

"You don't have to do that, Stefan. I know that you're doing it because you don't want to hurt me but it really isn't necessary to stop talking about your late wife whenever I'm in the same room with you."

"Ela, I don't…,"

"It's okay. It really is okay. I can deal with that. I really can."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose nervously.

"But it makes me feel awkward if I do it."

"We're married. There shouldn't be anything to talk about that makes you feel awkward."

"Hmm,"

"I don't have a problem letting go…when it comes to Charlie. What I have trouble with is accepting the fact that his death was so…senseless. And he died because he wanted to protect me. If I had been strong enough to deal with my cheating asshole of a husband on my own, all of this wouldn't have happened."

My voice cracked like a broken record before I burst out into tears. Something that felt like a wall inside of me crumbled into tiny pieces while several loud sobs left my throat.

"Shhh," Angela mumbled, wrapping her arms around me to let me sob against her shoulder.

I cried for a very long time, cried and yelled like a sullen child until my throat was sore and I had no more tears left to shed.

When I finally managed to pull back my mascara was smeared all over the hem of her white shirt.

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't have to be. I don't care about the stupid shirt."

"Are you feeling better now?" Stefan asked me worriedly, handing me another tissue.

"A little bit. Does it sound weird when I say that I'm glad Ali didn't see that?"

"In a way," he assured me, putting the mug with the already lukewarm tea between my hands.

"Drink, you must be dehydrated from all the crying."

"I'm sorry. It's…just…,"

"Bella, it's okay. Something horrible happened to you. But you shouldn't search for a why or a what if because if you do that, it's going to drive you crazy and I know exactly what I'm talking about. When Sasha died...,"

"Sasha wasn't killed. You can't compare these two events."

"Not like your father but I'm still responsible for her death and I'm going to live with that guilt for the rest of my life."

"Stefan, what kind of nonsense is that? Her death wasn't your fault. How can you think such a horrible thing?"

"I should have talked her out of trying for a second child. Or maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that I wanted to have more kids at all. It probably put pressure on her."

"But her death is not your fault. She was sick and Carlisle told Ali that she would probably have died from her heart condition anyway."

"He can't know that. The doctors in Romania…. Well, just forget it. I really don't wish to talk about that anymore. It's pointless. What I wanted to tell you by mentioning my late wife was that we are capable to deal with loss."

"I'm worried about Ali. She's so…tensed all the time."

"That's because she's worried about you and the baby all the time. She wants to protect you but she doesn't really know how to do it." Angela whispered taking my hand in hers to rub my wrist.

"And I want to protect her, protect her from all the things that are going to come. What does that say about us?"

"It shows how much you love each other. We always want to protect what we love the most." Stefan stated, wrapping his arm around Angela's waist.

I nodded my head while my hands automatically moved down on my upper body until my fingertips reached the roundness of my abdomen. For a few moments I just cradled my swollen middle between both hands. Then so lightly that I could barely feel it something deep inside me kicked against my palm, once…twice…a third time. The baby was starting to move around inside me and somehow, very slowly a crack inside of my heart was starting to heal again.


	95. Chapter 95

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. All of you are so awesome to be sticking with me and this story. It means so much to me to know that you love reading what I'm writing.

This chapter here is dedicated to **Wildimagination28** and **the-poetry-of-ink. **Hope you'll enjoy.

#FAQ

How far is Bella in her pregnancy?

She's sixteen weeks now. Pretty early to feel the baby moving inside her but considering the fact that she already had a child it's not completely unrealistic.

I've already chosen the sex and the name of the baby. Are you curious about it?

*Lemon Alert in this chapter. As usual – don't like don't read.*

****Chapter 95****

"Are you planning on moving your hands from your wife's tummy at all tonight?" Benjamin asked his half-sister while he continued sipping on a bottle of diet coke. His lips twitched into a bright smile while he placed one hand on her shoulder.

"I like feeling how the baby kicks. It's like…like a miracle to me. We have to deal with so much crap right now. And this here is the only good thing that happened to the two of us in the last time."

"Hmm, I know." he mumbled shoving the bowl with the peanuts over to me.

I took a handful of them and started nibbling on them. They were way too salty but I was so terribly hungry that I ended up eating up the entire bowl.

A young guy with messy brown hair dropped a chair to the ground next to us when he shoved his boyfriend against the wall and started kissing him passionately.

Irina's eyes widened for a moment before she leaned over to her grinning cousin and whispered something in Romanian into his ear.

He responded something that obviously seemed to shock her quite a bit.

"You did not tell me that we were going to go into a gay bar. My father would freak if he'd find out."

"He's only going to find out when you tell him. What you shouldn't do…in case you don't want him to show up here to bring you back to Romania sooner than you can blink."

"I won't tell him. It's just…they are all so…open with what they are like. I'm not used to that."

"Things are pretty different here from where you are living back home, aren't they?" Ali asked her curiously.

She nodded her head and smiled shyly at us.

"Everything is so hectic and huge here."

"That's just Seattle. When I moved here from my small hometown I was scared shitless from all the people here. It was so intimidating." I confessed.

"Rosalie took me shopping in one of those…Ma…Mo…what's that called again, Benjamin?"

"A mall,"

"Oh right, she took me shopping there and I almost got lost. It was so…scary."

Benjamin chuckled and finished his coke with one big gulp.

"Do you want to dance?"

"With you?" she asked him back, scanning the crowded dance floor with huge fearful eyes.

"No, with the blonde girl with the dreadlocks over there; she promised me ten bucks if I paired you off with her."

"REALLY?" her voice raised two octaves while her entire face flushed into a bright crimson color.

"Stop teasing her all the time. It's not fair." Ali told him reproachfully.

"But it's fun." he stated, smirking sheepishly

"Maybe for you but definitely not for Irina,"

"Thanks," she mumbled, trying to hide her blush behind the curls of her hair.

"I'll get us some new drinks and something to eat for Bella. She must be starving if she munched down all of this disgusting peanut stuff."

"That's probably just because she's pregnant." Irina assumed, twisting one of her curls around her fingers.

No, I thought. I'm always so embarrassingly hungry. The only difference was that I had an acceptable excuse to use in front of other people now.

When he disappeared at the other side of the club Ali cupped my face between her hands and planted a quick kiss on my mouth. Her tongue swirled over my lower lip, licking up the rest of saltiness from them.

"Aren't you afraid?"

"Hmm?"

Irina cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up.

"Aren't you afraid what people would think if they see you kiss each other and stuff like that?"

Ali sighed and wrapped her arms around my middle from behind, cradling my swollen abdomen gently between her dainty hands.

"Why should it bother us; whether some random strangers approve of our relationship or not? We are happy together and that's all that counts for us."

"I think you're brave." She mumbled, staring down at the small silver bracelet around Ali's left wrist.

"Did my uncle give that to you? It belonged to my aunt…ahm I mean to your mother."

"Yes he did. It was pretty nice of him. Stefan is a wonderful man."

"Hmm, yes he is but I actually think that his new wife doesn't like me very much."

"What makes you think that? Did Ela say anything to you?"

"No, she didn't. Well, maybe it's just because my father is always so rude to her when he's here. He said that it's pointless to marry a woman who's so much younger if you're not planning to have kids with her."

"It's Stefan's and Ela's decision whether they want to have kids together or not." I stated, while I felt the baby kicking so forcefully against my ribs that it knocked the breath out of me for a moment. Yes, we do want you, little nudger, I thought, rubbing my thumb over my underbelly.

Ali's fingertips brushed against mine before she took my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"I honestly don't think it's was Stefan's idea that they don't have any children. My uncle is really good with kids. They all hang on him whenever he's around. If it were for him they'd probably have ten kids."

"Who's having ten kids?" Benjamin asked her when he returned with a tray filled with deliciously smelling cheese sandwiches. I took one of them and stuffed the half of it into my mouth, burning my tongue at the melting hot cheese. Damn it, that hurt.

"Nobody is going to steal it away from you, Bella. You can eat slowly." he told me cheerfully, sipping on his drink.

"Now who's going to have ten kids? You and my sister?"

"No, your father," Irina informed him while she hesitantly took a small mouthful of the neon yellow lemonade her cousin had placed in front of her.

"Did I miss something? Last time I checked I was an only child."

"I was just telling Alicija and her…wife that your father really likes kids a lot. He has so much patience with them."

"Ela and he won't let me convince them to make me a little brother or sister although that would be pretty amazing."

"Probably. I guess he's quite sad because it doesn't look like you're going to make him a grandfather at all."

Benjamin's lips twitched into a grin before he put one arm around my shoulder. He planted a kiss on his sister's cheek and when his eyes met mine, I couldn't help but smile back.

Yes, we were in this together. It wouldn't have been possible without him helping us with it. A warm feeling spread through my body and of the first time I truly realized that in a way all of us were going to be a family in a few months.

XXXX

"Are you tired?" she asked me when I sat down on the edge of our bed. I took off my shoes, noticing that the straps of my sandals had cut into my skin.

"Maybe a bit," I told Ali while I couldn't keep my eyes of her body when the dress she had been wearing in the club landed on a small pile on the ground next to the bed. She was so breathtakingly gorgeous and I wanted to kiss every single inch of her body.

Slowly I started rubbing my hurting ankles with my fingertips.

"Let me do that," she mumbled kneeling down in front of me. I sighed deeply and leaned back on the bed while she gently kneaded my toes and the sole of my foot in small circles.

"I love you so much, Bella and I don't want to lose you…ever."

My eyes fell open and I wrapped my arms around her neck to pull her close to me. Close but not nearly as close as I wanted her…needed her to be.

"We'll always be together. There is nothing on this earth that could ever take me away from you."

I kissed her trembling lips very lightly and caressed the exposed skin of her cleavage with my fingertips. Her skin broke out in gooseflesh and I leaned down to swirl my tongue over her collarbone before I sucked the pearly-white flesh between my teeth.

"Bella, I don't know if this is a good idea," she whispered so low that her voice was barely audible.

"Shhh," I murmured, nudging my lips against hers again. The tip of my tongue slipped into the sweet warmth of her mouth to massage her tongue with it.

My thumbs brushed over her lace covered breasts, feeling her nipples harden under my touch.

"You have no idea how much I want you."

I took her hand in mine and guided it to the already damp fabric of my underwear. Her fingertips slipped underneath it and when they dipped into the slick wetness of my lust a shiver went down my spine.

"I want you too, honey. So…very much,"

My dress and the rest of our clothes landed next to the bed and then finally…finally she sat down on my thigh and rubbed her naked body against my side.

"God, how much I missed that." I whispered, cupping her perky breasts in my hands. Her nipples brushed against my palm. Gently I rolled them between my thumb and my forefinger, making her whimper slightly against the skin of my neck.

Her hands moved down my collarbone until she reached my breasts. When she caressed them in feather light circles I pressed my lips against each other to suppress a loud moan.

"I love your breasts," she mumbled, taking both of them in her hands before she swirled her tongue over the sensitive tips.

"I love how soft and full they are now. It's…so fucking sexy." Her mouth closed around one of my nipples to suckle it greedily.

I rocked my hips against hers and the slick wetness that kept pouring out of her entrance left a slippery trail on my hipbone.

"Make love to me, Ali. Let me feel you…all of you…,"

She turned me to the side and sat down between my parted legs, wrapping one of her hands around my ankle. The fingertips of her other hand, circled over my pebbled nipples before she squeezed it gently between her fingers.

The throbbing of my clit was almost painful now and when she started moving back and forth on top of me I almost came undone. Her inner lips nudged against mine in a heavenly pressure and a low moan escaped Ali's throat when her clit gently brushed over mine.

She increased the tempo of her movements and I cried out in pleasure, feeling every single muscle in my body tightening. Her clit pulsated against my entrance and then the world around me disappeared in a blur of nameless colors. There was nothing around me now apart from her and her love consumed me, magically melted our bodies into one while she kept moving faster and faster on top of me.

Her name died on my lips when the waves of my climax rushed through my body a split second before her body crashed down on me. My fingers stroked gently over the sensitive skin around her clit to bring her down from her height.

She tried to catch her breath again and nuzzled her face against the crock of my neck.

"I don't…I don't have any words that are able to tell you how much you mean to me," she whispered hoarsely.

I kissed her hair and inhaled deeply to absorb as much of her sweet vanilla apple scent as possible.

My fingertips circled over her sweat covered back and I wished that we could stay like this for a very long time.

"I love you." I murmured softly, caressing the tattoo on her hipbone, wondering if our love was irrevocably carved into our hearts like the beautiful flowers that would cover her skin for the rest of her life.

XOXXOXXOXXOXXOXXOX

[A/N] I'd love, love, love to manage to hit the 2000th Reviews mark with chapter 100 but there is no way that I can reach this goal without your support.

So, press the little review button down there and leave me some love.

Until next time, take care and to those of you living in the States – Happy fourth of July to you guys!


	96. Chapter 96

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers to a brand new episode of WTHN. This update is completely drama-free (don't be disappointed now; you all know that there is plenty, plenty of it to come in the next ones). I just felt that Bella and Ali needed a little break from it now.

The chapter is dedicated to **Brighton Early** for remembering me that I totally forget about the tattoo thing. Hope you'll enjoy.

*Lemon Alert in this one – as usual don't like/don't read.

****Chapter 96****

I awoke much too soon for my liking by the feeling of soft butterfly wing like kisses all over my underbelly. The baby kicked inside of me and my hands automatically reached down to touch the messy curls of my beautiful wife's hair.

"Morning," I whispered tiredly.

Ali planted a last kiss right underneath my belly button before she kissed a trail up my body.

"Morning to you too, my wife; seems like our little nudger is already awake too."

"Because you woke up both of us with your kisses," I mumbled against her velvety lips before I nudged mine against hers.

"I'm sorry about that." She whispered back, caressing my face in feather light movements. My fingertips caressed the exposed skin on her neck before I slowly moved them down her back in small circles.

"Are you hungry?" she asked me, placing a tray filled with all kinds of delicious food on my lap.

"That's a rhetorical question isn't it? I am…I mean _we_ are always hungry."

And I'm probably going to look like a whale because of it in a few weeks…

"Do you want tea or hot chocolate?"

"How about coffee?"

She shook her head.

"That's not good for the two of you. Dr. O'Hara says you shouldn't have any caffeine at all. That's bad for your blood pressure issues."

"Hmm, probably,"

She handed me a cup with hot chocolate and I dipped the end of a croissant into the steaming hot liquid before I nibbled on it.

"What time is it?" I asked her sipping carefully on my drink, enjoying how the sweetness of it poured down my throat.

"About half past eleven,"

"What? It's already that late? Why didn't you wake me up sooner? I can't spend the entire day here in bed."

"Firstly, I really like watching you when you are asleep. It's quite fascinating and secondly, you are supposed to rest as much as possible."

She picked up a small piece of orange and put it to my mouth.

"The little nudger needs some more vitamins and you too."

I swallowed the piece of fruit and took another one between my fingers to feed it to my pixie-like wife.

"It's so cute how you care about me and the baby."

"I love you." she whispered, tenderly stroking over my abdomen. The baby kicked against her palm and a bright smile flashed over her face, making her caramel eyes sparkle like liquid amber.

"It's not hurting you when the baby kicks so much is it?"

I quickly shook my head and took her hand in mine to plant kisses all over her knuckles.

"No, it doesn't. Don't worry about that."

She stood up from the bed and pulled an envelope out of her handbag.

"Lilly's teacher gave that to me. She says that you need to sign it."

"Please tell me that she didn't get detention again. Jeez, I really need to make sure that she stays away from that little witch child."

"She didn't get detention and I honestly think that Jane is good for Lilly. She needs to learn to defend herself."

"By hitting other children? I don't want her to do that."

"Rosie says that it's normal for little kids to test their borders."

I nodded my head and read through the letter Lilly's teacher had written to me. It basically was a pointless rambling, suggesting politely that I should make sure such a thing like that with the pencil didn't happen again. Damn it, this woman managed to piss me off without even being in the same room with me.

"Why didn't you sign this piece of nonsense here when she gave it to you?"

"She didn't want me to."

Ali cleared her throat nervously before she continued, trying to keep her voice calm.

"You know that I don't have custody for Lilly. She's just my niece…well, at least technically."

I cupped her face between my hands and pressed my lips against hers. The tip of her tongue licked over my upper lip until I parted my mouth enough to let her slip between my lips.

The sweetness of the hot chocolate mixed with the slight tartness of the tea she had sipped on moments ago.

My hand moved under the hem of her shirt and circled over the skin on her flat stomach. I pulled her shirt over her head and caressed each inch of her beautiful pearly-white skin with my fingertips.

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life." I whispered softly before I leaned forward to kiss the lily blossoms on her left hipbone.

My tongue darted out and moved over the ruby red color until it reached the words that were written right underneath the flowers.

_*Les seuls beaux yeux sont ceux qui vous regardent avec tendresse*_

I realized that she had never told me what the inscription meant. Was it a memory of one of her previous lovers? The thought almost instantly sent an unpleasant wave of jealousy straight through my heart. God, Bella, stop thinking like that. Ali loves you. You and only you – whether you deserve her love or not.

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"What are you thinking?"

I cleared my throat and moved my fingertips over the delicate letters that had been carved into her skin several years ago. At a time when neither one of us would ever have imagined to end up here in this bed together.

"The tattoo…," I started hesitantly.

"You never told me what the French inscription means."

"It's a quote from Coco Chanel. The English translation is something like 'The only nice eyes are those who look at you with tenderness.'"

"That's beautiful," I whispered against her warm skin before I nudged my lips against the red blossoms again.

"Did it hurt a lot when you had it done?"

"Not really. The worst thing about it was the noise during the process. It reminded me of a dentist's drill."

She laughed and twisted a wisp of my long hair around her fingers to pull me up to her again. I kissed the tip of her nose before I rested my head against the crock of her neck.

"You are the only one." She mumbled, massaging my scalp with her dainty fingertips. Her caress was so incredibly pleasant that I almost managed to fall asleep again, almost.

"You're the only one who can truly see me."

My eyes fell open again and when I blinked into her face I realized that she had tiny teardrops glistening in her eyelashes.

"Why are you crying?" I asked her worriedly, wrapping my arms around her delicate waist to pull her closer against my body.

The little nudger kicked again and I wondered if I was already black and blue from the inside.

"You know how much you mean to me, do you? Never, ever, forget that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are able to see a beauty in me that is invisible to the rest of the world."

She shook her head but I cupped her face in my hands and gently pressed my mouth against hers.

"I love you…so very much." she murmured while her hands moved under my shirt to stroke over my swollen middle. Her fingertips moved higher and circled over the tips of my breasts, making them pebble under her fingertips. They were so sensitive right now that the gentle touch sent an electric current of lust straight between my legs.

She pulled my shirt up and when her warm mouth closed around one of my nipples I twisted my hands into her hair to pull her closer.

A low moan escaped my throat and I was glad that we were alone in the house right now. My hand moved under the fabric of her miniskirt and caressed the inside of her slim thighs.

"I want to kiss you." I whispered hoarsely.

"All of you, every single inch of you."

I pulled her on top of me and planted several kisses down her collarbone while my hand moved higher and higher between her legs.

When my thumb brushed against the moist silk of her thong, she moaned against my shoulder.

"So warm and ready for me," I mumbled, shoving the thin material that separated my fingers from her slick folds to the side.

Slowly I coated my fingertips in her wetness before I circled the throbbing pearl of her clit with them. When I shoved two of my fingers inside her tight entrance a low moan escaped her throat.

"You like this, don't you? Having my fingers inside of you…,"

She nodded her head and inhaled sharply between her teeth when I added a third finger and started circling my thumb over her clit.

"I want to hear you. Tell me what you want me to do to you."

I pressed my thighs together, knowing that I would probably combust if I didn't get any friction right now. Had I been that lustful during my first pregnancy too? I couldn't really remember it.

Ali's hand moved between my legs and rubbed over the sensitive area around the pulsating pearl of my clit.

She shoved my damp panties down my legs and searched for something under the bed.

"I want you to touch me with this." she whispered, taking the vibrator between both of her hands.

"But at first I want to taste you."

Slowly she kneeled between my parted legs and nudged her lips tenderly against my clit before she swirled the tip of her tongue up and down my slit.

Something started humming next to me and I realized that she had turned one the vibe.

"Tongue or toy?" she mumbled against the inside of my thigh, moving the vibrating piece of plastic over my outer lips.

"B…b..both," I whispered back, almost unable to bring out any reasonable words now.

She chuckled slightly and her warm breath felt cold against my sensitive, overheated flesh for a moment before she carefully shoved the vibe into me.

I moaned out loudly and pressed the back of my hand against my lips to suppress the noises that were about to escape my throat.

When she shoved the toy in and out of me faster and faster while her tongue circled over my clit my entire body went ridged. Moments later the muscles inside of me clenched around the vibrating toy inside of me, making me tremble all over for several minutes while I rode out the after waves of my climax.

I opened my eyes again when I tasted the familiar sweet tartness of my own lust on my lips.

"So beautiful," she whispered, letting her tongue caress my lower lip very lightly.

"I wished I could take a picture of you while you climax. It's so…amazing how you look like when you do it."

My face felt suddenly a lot warmer and I quickly shook my head.

"I'm pretty sure that I look kind of stupid during that moment. It's not like I have a lot of control over my face muscles while it happens."

I took the vibrator from her and moved it down her flat stomach until I reached the pearl of her clit.

"But I really like watching you while you come. It's …fascinating."

Slowly I moved the toy lower until I reached her entrance. I shoved the tip of the toy inside her and circled it slowly around inside of her for a moment before I stilled completely.

"More," she pleaded her voice thick with lust.

"Look at me," I whispered back, cupping her face in my free hand.

"I want to see your face,"

She raised her head and I simultaneously pushed the toy deeper inside of her. I kissed her mouth and when I slipped my tongue between her lips she moaned into my mouth.

Her legs started trembling and I pulled the toy out of her to rub it over the sensitive pearl of her clit for a moment before I shoved it back into her again as deep as possible.

Ali whimpered and I sucked the sweat covered skin on her collarbone between my teeth. After a few moments I increased the tempo of my thrusts while my eyes stayed focused on her pretty face. There was indeed nothing more magnificent on this earth right than her face as she reached the peak of her lust.

Afterwards I hold her in my arms, stroking down her bare back with my fingertips until I reached the tattoo on her hipbone.

She's right, I thought. No one will ever see her like I do and no one could ever see me like the way she did and because the two of us had each other it wasn't necessary that anyone ever would.

XOXXOXXOXXOXXOXXO

[A/N] It was probably kind of stupid of me to tell you that I have already decided about the _little nudger's_ sex and name. There is no way I can give away the name before the birth because I believe that it brings bad luck. But I promise to let you know the sex of the baby once I reach the 2000th Reviews mark.

So if you are curious to find out or just want to leave me some love for the story, press the little review button down there.


	97. Chapter 97

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of your very favorite Twilight soap…aka fan-fiction.

This chapter is dedicated to **the-poetry-of-ink**. There's lots of 'Lilly time' in this one. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 97****

"Can I ask you something different?" I started hesitantly, while I took another sip from the cup of tea in front of me. My head was already hurting from all the details Zafrina had told me in an attempt to 'prepare' me for the upcoming trial. Still there was a question burning inside of me that I needed her to answer me before my beautiful wife came back home.

"Of course you can. What do you want to know?" she asked me, crossing her hands in front of her chest.

"It's about the baby."

"The baby? Oh Bella, I know absolutely nothing about babies."

"I know." I mumbled before I cleared my throat nervously and continued.

"It's more like a…juristic advice that I need from you."

"That sounds better. I was afraid that you wanted to have my opinion on breastfeeding or some stuff like that."

"I don't need another opinion on something so awfully that I'm sure as hell won't be trying again." I responded a little too harsh.

"I wanted to know if it's possible to get Ali's name on the birth certificate instead of mine."

"Did she suggest that to you?"

"No, she doesn't even know that I'm talking to you about it. I wanted it…to be like a surprise for her."

"Bella, technically the woman who gives birth is always the mother and that's what the birth certificate will be based on."

A small smile flashed over her face before she pulled another tablet out of her handbag and wrote something down on it.

"It would be way easier for her to adopt the baby after it is born. All you need for that is a written declaration of content from the…well from the father."

I nodded my head.

"I'm sure Benjamin would sign something like that. All he wants is that we allow him to see the baby whenever he wants to."-

"Good, I'll set something up than. Ali is lucky to have such a nice brother. Or maybe that's just poetic justice for the other one she has been…cursed with."

"Probably,"

I cradled my rounded middle between my hands and waited for the kicking inside of me to stop for a moment again.

"You don't get along that well with your brother, do you? He seemed so…tensed when he showed up here."

"It's probably not that easy to relax when you got something sticking in your ass all the time."

"He's not going to mess up the trial because of that, is he?"

"No, Bella, don't worry about that. Derek is pretty good at what he's doing at the public prosecution department. He's going to make sure that Edward gets what he deserves."

She sighed deeply and searched for something in her handbag.

"It's my relationship with Jasmine that he's not very fond of and he can't hide that very well."

"Because she's a woman?"

"No, it hasn't got anything to do with that. Derek doesn't give a shit whether I'm with a man or a woman as long as said person isn't white."

"You weren't kidding when you told Jasmine that he's a racist, were you?"

Zafrina nodded her head and pulled something out of an envelope.

"It's probably because of our father. I show you a picture of him."

She handed me a wrinkled picture that showed a tall African-American man with a blonde woman next to him. In front of them was a pair of three little children kids with a light brown skin color.

"That's my father and his…second family. He left our mom for Tia when Derek was twelve. I don't really remember a lot about it, but my brother does. That's why he's not really fond of interracial relationships."

"Hmm, I see. It's still stupid."

"Yeah, I know but that's just the way things are with him. I can deal with that."

Her cell started playing the melody of Yellow Rose of Texas and she giggled before she flipped it open.

"Hi, cowgirl,"

"I know that you don't like it when I call you that. Want to know what I don't like…yeah that too. I don't like it when someone changes my ring tone behind my back."

She chucked into the receiver.

"You are forgiven. Did you check the papers the prison psychiatrist sent to my office?"

"It doesn't make sense to you? What do you mean it doesn't make sense? Of course his answers don't make any sense. That's probably normal for someone who's not right in the head."

"Where I am right now? I'm having lunch with my other secret lover. Where else? No, I'm with Bella, trying to prepare her for all the trial crap that is about to happen in the next time."

"Dito,"

"You're not actually going to make me say it now, are you?"

"Fine, if it makes you happy. I fucking love you too, Jasmine."

XXXXX

I wrapped a towel over the wet fur of the dog while I desperately tried not to breathe through my nose. Jeez, had the poor animal always smelled that bad?

Lilly pulled a few biscuits out of her pocket that almost instantly disappeared in Fido's snout.

"Down!" she instructed, making the calf sized dog flop down on the ground in front of me.

"See, mommy, he does everything I tell him too."

"Yes, sweetie, I know that you've trained him well."

"We're not going to give him away when the baby is born, are we? I really want to keep him."

"No, Lilly, we're going to keep him as long as the baby isn't allergic against the hairs."

"If the baby is allergic it could live with Auntie Rosie and the twins or I could move out with Fido to live with Jane and her family."

"Sweetie, please, we don't have to talk about that now."

"Do you love the baby more than me?"

"No, of course not, I love you both the same."

"But you want to give Fido away if the baby is allergic…,"

"If you were allergic I would give him away too."

"If I were allergic I wouldn't tell you. I want to keep Fido, he's my best friend."

She started biting her fingernails and sat down on the couch next to me.

I took her hand in mine and sighed deeply.

"Please, honey, you really need to stop doing that all the time. You're a big girl now and you know that it makes your nail look ugly."

"Your mommy is right." Ali told her, putting a wisp of her copper hair behind her ear.

"I promise to buy you some pretty nail polish if you stop doing it."

"Really?"

Ali's mouth twisted into a bright smile before she nodded her head.

"But Miss Young says that little girls shouldn't wear nail polish." Lilly protested halfheartedly.

"We are your mothers and we decide what you should or shouldn't…,"

She stopped midsentence and pressed her hand against her mouth as if she had suddenly realized what she had told her right now.

_We are your mothers_

Yes, that was exactly what we were going to be for the little nudger. The baby kicked against my ribs as if it was silently agreeing with me.

But with Lilly it was different. At least it had been up until now…

"I…I….I'm sorry." Ali stumbled out, her face turning a few shades paler under the layer of makeup she had put on.

"I shouldn't have…,"

I wrapped my arms around her delicate waist and pulled her closer to me until she was almost sitting on my lap.

When she buried her face against the crock of my neck I wondered if she would start to cry now. I didn't want her to. Not over this and not over anything else."

"It's okay." I whispered softly, twisting one of her spikey curls around my finger.

"Mommy, is Auntie Ali sad?"

"No, sweetie, she's fine. Don't worry."

She didn't seem to be content with that answer because she cuddled her body against Ali's other side and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"You don't have to be sad. Mommy and I love you."

XXXXX

Jasmine sighed deeply and started rolling her fingertip over the edge of her glass until Zafrina wrapped her hand around her wrist to stop her.

"Nervous?"

"Me? I'm never nervous; I just like to do something while I'm in thoughts."

She cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"Okay, here's the thing. I've read the transcription the prison psychiatrist sent to us over and over again. Edward's answers don't make any sense."

"Does that mean he's really crazy?" I asked her worriedly, wrapping my arm around Ali's shoulder to pull her closer to me. Her hand rested on my underbelly, where the baby kicked steadily against her palm.

"Well, yes and no. I'm not really sure." Jasmine mumbled so low that her voice was barely audible.

"You're not honestly thinking that man could be right in his head, are you? I'm sure he got a screw lose."

"It's complicated."

"Complicated cases are my specialty. Try to explain to me what's wrong with him."

"Hmm, you see… some of his answers show very obvious signs of a mental condition. I'm not really an expert but it sounds pretty much like a classic case of schizophrenia."

"Schizophrenia?" My voice raised two octaves and I had to take several deep breaths through my open mouth to calm myself down again. It wasn't that I really knew a lot about those kinds of illnesses. But what I knew instantly sent a wave of panic through me. Wasn't Schizophrenia inheritable? What in heaven's name should I do if Lilly inherited that from her father…

"Bella, are you okay? You're looking a bit pale." Zafrina asked me, while Ali wrapped her hand around my wrist to check my pulse.

"Are you feeling dizzy again?"

I quickly shook my head and sighed deeply.

"No, I'm good. Don't worry." It is worse enough that I have to worry about _that_ too now.

"You still suck at lying." Jasmine stated, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Let me give you a little tip for the future. Try not to look people in the eye while you're trying to lie. That just works for advanced liars like Zafrina."

"I'm not lying to anyone. I just manage to present things in the light that works best for my own interests."

She giggled and planted a kiss on her girlfriend's mouth, twisting her hands into the mess of honey-blonde curls. The entire content of Zafrina's handbag landed on the ground when she shoved her against the wall.

"Can we try to focus a little bit? I really think that it would be better for Bella to rest a bit now."

"Where were we?"

"You kissed me and then…,"

"Before I kissed you, cowgirl…,"

"Oh right that. Look, some of Edward's answers show very obvious signs of a mental condition. There's the fact that he says he thinks that there are voices in his head that talk to him, the blind spots in his memory or the sudden mood swings."

"Yeah I know. But why do you doubt that he's crazy, when it's so obvious"

"Because some of the answers seem too rational for someone who's…sick. It's almost like he's trying to appear crazy, which is the most stupid thing he could do right now. So why would he…,"

"To avoid a prison sentence of course,"

"Do you think that ending up in a padded cell is so much better? Trust me; I've seen places like that during my studies. It's worse like hell to spend time inside there when you are not crazy yourself."

"Probably,"

"I hope that Edward is crazy." Ali whispered next to me, resting her head against my shoulder.

"It would…in a weird way make me feel better to know that he didn't do all the horrible things he did on purpose."

XOXXOXOXXOXXO

[A/N] Are you curious about the sex of the little nudger? Help me to reach the 2000th review mark and press the review button down there to leave me some love.

Until next time, take care ;-)


	98. Chapter 98

[Disclaimer] SM owns everything Twilight. I own Lilly and the McCarthy twins.

[A/N] I'm updating this story far too often and I feel kind of guilty because I'm neglecting my other stories because of it. But **WTHN** feels like my second reality to me and rules most of my creative thoughts right now. Once it is finished I will hopefully manage to concentrate on something different again.

This one here is dedicated to **breathl355** and **Shelly421**. Thanks for supporting my story with your reviews.

#FAQ

_Writer's block and how to overcome it?_

That's really a good question. Sometimes it helps to write something completely different. WTHN for example is just there because I had writer's block on my story LMA.

Wine helps…sometimes, if you don't overdo it…lol

And reading, reading and reading. All kinds of stories, good ones and bad ones; I figured out that stories that are very different from my own inspire me the most.

_What motivates you besides reviews?_

The fact that I dream about being a _real author_ one day. It's naïve to have that kind of dreams but that's what keeps me going.

Sorry about the long A/N. I know you're here to read the chapter…

****Chapter 98****

_Ali's POV_

"A true gift from the gods, that's what she is." Rosalie stated, while she nibbled on a small carrot stick. The dark purple bags underneath her blue eyes had vanished completely or at least they were now covered very well underneath her makeup. Her hair wasn't greasy anymore and her face had lost the slight roundness it had during her pregnancy.

I realized that she looked even thinner than before and wondered if I should make a comment about that. Did she want to look that skinny?

"I'm so grateful to have Irina to help me with the twins. She wasn't joking when she told me that she's good with kids."

I nodded my head and sipped on the glass of diet coke in front of me. Jeez, why did anyone bother to buy this awful stuff? The taste seriously reminded me of liquid plastic.

"Did you talk to our mother in the last days?" she asked me after a few awkward moments of silence.

"No, I didn't. Everything is so terribly tensed right now and it's difficult for me to stay calm when I'm so…angry at her."

"She's sorry about what she has done, I know she is. You have to understand that…,"

"I don't have to understand how she managed to cover up a murder for Edward. How could she do something so horrible?"

"I'm not saying that what she did was right; just that you need to understand that she did it in order to protect her child."

She sighed deeply and stood up from the couch to run her fingertip over the wooden frame of a picture of the twins.

"I would probably do the same for Tegan and Tennessee if they get into trouble."

"It's still wrong what she did. And I actually think that she would have protected Edward better if she had made sure he gets the psychological help he needs so desperately. That man is like a ticking bomb and she let Bella and the little one stay with him under one roof for years. I get sick when I think of everything that could have happened to both of them."

"Don't remind me." she whispered, sitting down next to me again.

I swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling. The thought of him hurting anyone I cared for was almost unbearable for me.

"Please, you have to stop thinking about it, because if you do, it'll drive you crazy. As hard as it seems…you need to move on. Our brother won't get another chance to hurt anyone."

She cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"Em hopes that they let him rot in jail for the rest of his life but I would prefer to see him go into an asylum or a place like that. I can't even tell you why I feel that way."

"Probably because it would make all the things he did less worse? I mean if they discover that he's really sick in the head."

"Maybe…or maybe it's just because I'm scared of what could happen to him while he's behind bars."

The key turned around in the lock and when Rosalie recognized the box Emmett was holding in his hands her face turned into a frown.

"Donuts? You brought Donuts? Do you have any clue how many calories that kind of stuff contains?"

He chuckled slightly and planted a kiss on her mouth, cupping her face in one of his huge hands.

"You worry too much about calories. I don't understand what all the fuss is about. What difference should a pound more or less make?"

"I don't have enough time to explain that to you, McCarthy. Just do me a favor and put the box away before I munch down everything that's inside of it."

When he returned from the kitchen a few moments later he dipped another stick of carrot into a tiny bowl of low-fat yoghurt.

"Eat, my little bunny," he whispered cheerfully before he handed it to her.

"You're so mean." she mumbled, hitting him playfully on the head.

"No, I'm not. Just for the record…you're doing this ridiculous raw food diet for you and not for me."

She rolled her eyes at that and emptied the glass of water in front of her in one big gulp.

"Whatever,"

"Did your parents call again? I hope they didn't. Your mother should get some therapeutic help herself to overcome her guilt issues. I can't believe your shithead of a brother convinced her to lie to the police and everyone else in order to save his skinny ass from getting to jail where scum like he belongs to."

"Can we please stop talking about that now? Irina will come back with Lilly and the twins from the park and I really don't want her to freak out because of this. It's not necessary to tell her about…,"

The front door opened again and Lilly rushed into the living room, wrapping her arms around me to plant a kiss on my cheek. I pulled her on my lap where she nuzzled her face against my shoulder. She was overly cuddly in the last days and I wondered why she was acting like that.

Irina entered the room, balancing one of the babies on her arm.

"I'm going to change Tegan's diaper now. He doesn't smell too good to me. And please don't make me go to the park with them again. It's full of freaks."

She walked out of the room and I pulled a tiny flower out of Lilly's copper hair.

"Sweetie, did anything happen in the park?" I asked her worriedly.

"Irina yelled at a man who wanted her to work for him."

"Work for him?" Emmett repeated skeptically.

Lilly nodded her head.

"He said that he would pay her twenty bucks if she would give him a blow-job. Auntie Rosie what is a blow-job?"

"Nothing that you need to know about, sweetie," Rosalie told her, trying to keep her voice calm.

"But I want to know. Does it have anything to do with blowing up balloons?"

"Not exactly," I whispered, hoping that you would stop asking about it now.

"Lilly, sweetie, have you already decided if you want the baby to be a little brother or sister?" Emmett asked her in order change the subject of our conversation to safer topics.

"I don't know. Auntie Ali do you want a boy or a girl?"

"I hope it's a girl. I always wanted to have a little daughter."

She jumped from my lap and a split second later she burst out into tears.

"You love the baby more than me! I hate the stupid baby!"

"Lilly, please don't say something like that." I kneeled down in front of her and pulled a tissue out of my pocket to clean her running nose.

"And I love you and the baby both the same. I really do."

"But when you talk to be baby you always say that you're its momma."

I nodded my head and sighed deeply before I put one of the copper curls behind her tiny ear.

"That doesn't mean I love you less, Lilly."

"But it's not fair that the stupid baby is going to have two moms. I only have one."

"See? I told you that she would be confused and jealous about this." Rosalie stated, taking one of the baby from Irina who had started nibbling on one of the Donuts.

"That's so delicious. How can you eat this rabbit food when you have stuff like that in your kitchen?"

"You understand that better when you're older, Irina. It's not that easy to keep your figure once you're over thirty."

"I don't like yucky carrots." Lilly mumbled, wrinkling her little snub nose in disgust.

"I know, honey."

"Are you going to make the baby eat them too?"

I nodded my head and plated a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm not going to love the baby more than you or treat it different. You don't have to worry about that, Lilly."

The doorbell rang and Rosalie stood up from the couch to open the door.

When Benjamin and Bella entered the room he had a cocky grin all over his face. Like he was holding a secret that no one was supposed to know about. I made a silent note to myself to ask him about it once we were alone.

I cupped Bella's face between my hands and kissed her mouth before she sat down on the edge of the couch. When I placed my palm right underneath her belly button the little nudger kicked against my hand. I took Lilly's hand in mine and squeezed it gently when I realized the tensed expression on her tiny face. I didn't want her to feel jealous of the baby but right now I didn't really know what to do against it.

"Hi, everyone." Benjamin greeted us cheerfully. Then he turned to his cousin and mumbled something in Romanian to her that obviously seemed to piss her off a bit.

"Talk English to her. She's supposed to learn the language while she's here." Rosalie snarled at him, crossing her hands in front of her chest.

"You're in an excellent mood today, Barbie girl, aren't you? I was just trying to give her a little warning. If she doesn't stop eating so much of that candy stuff, she's going to need two seats on the plane back home."

"I hate you, Benjamin." She told him, kicking him playfully against his ribs.

"No wonder that you don't have a boyfriend. Who wants to deal with an insensitive ass..,"

"I don't have a boyfriend because I like to have options, Irina. Having options is when…,"

"I know what having options mean. Having options is just for people that haven't found the right one yet. Once you do, everything will be different." Her eyes sparkled when she spoke the last sentence.

Rosalie had told me that she was spending almost every night talking to her boyfriend on the phone. It was probably hard for them to be away from each other. I really hoped that I would never have to spend time apart from Bella. I craved her physical closeness like a flower craved water and sunlight.

"I don't understand that you are so terribly in love with this idiot Vasili. The last time I saw him he had pimples all over his face."

"You are so mean. It's not his fault that he has skin problems."

"Hmm, probably, but even if he hadn't he'd still be an asshole and I hope that you find out about it before you marry him."

"Mind your own business. At least I'm going to give my father grandchildren and make him proud."

"If I or if I not give my father a grandchild is none of your concern, Irina." he told her cheerfully, his mouth twisting into a bright smile when he put one arm around my shoulder.

"How's it going? Have you read any of those 'becoming a mom' books yet?" he asked me, twisting one of my spikey curls around his fingers.

Bella cleared her throat and took a sip from the glass with now lukewarm diet coke on the table.

"Why do you want to know about the stupid books? Nothing what's written inside them is able to prepare someone to be a mom."

"Mommy?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"When the baby is born will you and Auntie Ali be its moms?"

She nodded her head and took one of Lilly's hands to place it on her underbelly.

"It moves!" she stated after a few moments.

"Yes, it does. Isn't that nice?"

"I don't know if I like the baby. It's not fair that it gets to have two mothers when I only have one."

"I'll be your momma too, if you want me to." I whispered pulling her on my lap again.

"Promise?" she asked me, starting to nibble on her fingernails again. I had realized that she always did that when she seemed to be nervous about something.

"Yes, sweetie, I'll be your momma."

"Even when the baby is born, momma?"

I pulled her closer to me and kissed her hair that smelled sweet like strawberries from the shampoo Bella had washed it with this morning.

"Even when the little nudger is born," I told her and just with that I stopped being her aunt and became her second mother.

**XOXOXXOXXOXXO**

[A/N] Help me to reach the **2000****th **review limit. It would totally rock my little fanfic author's heart. So leave me some review love before you leave.

Enjoy your day :-)


	99. Chapter 99

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to SM

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. It's because of you that I'm still here writing this story. Thanks and hugs for all your amazing support.

This chapter here is dedicated to **DeJee** and **Hockfan21**. Hope you'll enjoy.

I apologize for any possible juristic mistakes in this chapter and the next one (I've decided to split the court scene into two). It was difficult for me to write and I hope that it doesn't suck too much.

****Chapter 99****

"Are you sure that you're strong enough to endure all of this?" Ali whispered into my ear while she gently wrapped her dainty arms around me from behind. The ends of her short hair tickled the exposed skin on my neck when she planted a last soft kiss right beneath my hairline.

I sighed deeply and turned around. When I spoke up my voice almost cracked like a broken record in an old gramophone.

"I have to,"

"No, you haven't," she mumbled, taking my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"Yes, I have. He was my father. I have to be here…for him."

"Bella, I'm really worried that the trial is going to be too much for you. Your blood pressure…,"

"Is already too high, I know."

I cupped her face between my hands and pressed my lips against hers for a moment until I felt Zafrina's hand on my shoulder.

"Ready to go?" she asked me, giving me a small smile.

"I'd prefer it if she'd stay outside the courtroom, but my wife is stubborn."

A low chuckle left Zafrina's throat before she spoke up again.

"Yes, she is. But on the other hand so are you. I assure you that Bella will be fine. She's stronger than you're giving her credit for."

"Did she tell you that her blood pressure is beyond good and evil today? I don't want her to break down inside there because of any crap my brother and his lawyer will come up with."

"We can always make a break if things get too much for her."

Then she turned to me and cleared her throat nervously.

"I should probably give you a warning. Things are probably going to get really ugly because you are going to hear a lot of unpleasant stuff inside that room over there."

"I know," I murmured, my voice barely audible now.

"No, you don't. Right now you probably know about twenty percent of the things to come. Don't misunderstand me; I think that you should hear the entire truth and everything. It is going to help you deal with what happened, maybe not today or tomorrow but…some day in the future."

I nodded my head and sighed deeply, trying to fight the unpleasant dizziness by taking several deep breaths.

"Let's get this over with." I whispered nervously when we entered the courtroom.

Inside the room it smelled like a weird mixture of old oak furniture and cheap disinfection spray, I instantly detested it.

When I sat down next to Zafrina on a wooden chair it squeaked slightly underneath me.

Ali took my hand in hers and started rubbing small circles all over my wrist.

When the blurring in front of my eyes had vanished a little bit I turned my head to take a brief look at the jury that was sitting on the other side of the room.

Faceless, I thought, like a grey mass of several people who are in no way capable of grasping the evil that was my ex-husband. The men…maybe a bit but I was suddenly a bit scared that the women would be lulled in by his charismatic charm. Edward was usually good with women, too good.

Maybe that was why he had managed to lull in Esme into covering up for him.

We rose from our seats when the judge entered the room and I felt my knees under me starting to tremble slightly.

I fell back on my chair, trying desperately to get the embarrassing trembling under control before Ali would pull me out of the room before everything really started.

The judge, a middle-aged man with short cropped reddish blond hair sipped on a glass of water before he spoke up. His voice was sharp like a razorblade and instantly sent a wave of fear down my spine.

"Case number 06-20-1901 the State of Washington against Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Would the catch pole please bring the defendant in now?"

Two uniformed men disappeared through a door at the left side of the room. When they returned a few moments later with Edward between them I recognized that he looked absolutely miserable. His beautiful copper hair had been cropped short and his eyes were red and puffy. Had he been crying?

His lawyer – it was the same moron who had been with him during the awful divorce process, wiped a few sweat pearls away from his forehead.

"Mr. Hayley, would the prosecution read out the indictment so that we could get started now?"

"Yes, your honor." Derek's voice was warm and smooth like honey when he spoke up. He didn't seem to be nervous at all. But probably for him it was normal to deal with stuff like that that every day.

"Case number 06-20-1901 the State of Washington against Edward A. M. Cullen for committing first degree murder on the victim Police Officer Charles Swan; it is our intent to convince the jury that Mr. Cullen killed his former father in law out of base motives."

The judge turned to Edward's lawyer now, who exchanged a last worried look with his client.

"Mr. Mason, how does your client plead, guilty or not guilty?"

"Not guilty, your honor. My client is a mentally sick man and in no way responsible for anything the prosecution is accusing him of."

"Mr. Mason, do you have proof about your client's actual mental status?"

"Well, not exactly…,"

"Hmm, I see. I guess, we'll find out about it during the trial."

"Yes, your honor."

He wiped his forehead again with a tissue and sat down next to Edward again.

"Your honor, may I call the first witness now?" Derek asked the judge, while Mr. Mason flipped quickly through a thick folder in front of him. Edward mumbled something to him that was too low for me to understand it. His green eyes met mine for a split second before he buried his face in his hands and sighed deeply.

Derek called up Esme's name and when she entered the room I realized for the first time how fragile she looked. She had obviously tried to cover up the shadows under her eyes but they still looked incredibly tired.

"Please raise your right hand," the judge instructed.

"State your full name for the record,"

Her voice was barely a trembling whisper when the first word left her mouth.

"My name is…,"

"Keep your voice up and speak into the microphone so that we can hear you properly."

She cleared her throat twice before she continued.

"My name is Esme Ann Platt Cullen."

"Mrs. Cullen, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I swear,"

"Mr. Hayley…your witness,"

"Mrs. Cullen," Derek started calmly while walked up and down in front of her in the courtroom.

"Could you briefly describe the events of the night when your son murdered his father-in-law?"

"Objection! The prosecutor is making assumptions. The defendant is innocent until proven."

"Sustained, rephrase the question, Mr. Hayley."

"Yes, your honor, I will. Mrs. Cullen, could you describe what happened on the night Charlie Swan died?"

Esme sighed deeply and started biting her fingernails nervously before she spoke up.

"Edward and Charlie…kind of got into a fight and then my son grabbed Charlie's Swan's gun from the table and started fumbling around with it."

"Did you tell him to put it down?"

"Yes, I did, but he wouldn't listen to me and then everything happened so fast."

"What exactly did happen, Mrs. Cullen?"

"He…he shot him."

"Where?"

"In the head…god, it was so awful there was so much blood and brain liquid…,"

My stomach heaved and I had to swallow back a bit of acid in my mouth. No wonder that everyone had insisted on a closed casket during the funeral ceremony.

"And afterwards, what did you do?"

"I kind of…cleaned up a bit."

"You cleaned up? Didn't you think for just one minute about probably calling an ambulance to get help for the victim?"

"He…he was already…dead. I checked his pulse and he didn't have one."

"How about calling the police instead?"

"I wanted to…at first, but…Edward pleaded me not to do it."

"Why?"

She didn't answer but her lips trembled slightly.

"Because he was scared of the…possible consequences?" Derek assumed after a few awkward moments of silence.

"Objection, leading…,"

"Sustained," the judge stated before he turned to the jury.

"The jury is going to ignore the last question."

"Mr. Haley?"

"No further question, your honor."

"Mr. Mason – your witness."

"Thank you, your honor."

He stood up from his chair and wiped his forehead again before he spoke to Esme.

"Mrs. Cullen, I assume that the whole situation is difficult for you."

She nodded her head and sighed deeply.

"Mrs. Cullen, do you believe that your son would have hurt anyone on purpose if he were mentally…healthy?"

"No, I don't."

"Why?"

"I don't understand the question."

"Why do you think that he wouldn't do such a horrible thing?"

"I know my son. He's a good man…he would never, ever hurt someone like that on purpose. He is sick and needs help to deal with all the…demons in his head."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen."

He turned to the judge again.

"No further questions, your honor."

"Mrs. Cullen, you are excused."

She stood up from the stool and for a moment I wondered if she would collapse on the hard ground now. Somewhere out of nowhere Carlisle popped up and pulled her in his arms. Several low sobs left her throat when he guided her out of the courtroom.

"Mr. Hayley, call up your next witness."

"Yes, your honor. We would like to hear the defendant himself now."

When they escorted Edward over to the witness stand he glared at me, his mouth twisting into the damn crooked smile and my hands automatically wrapped around my middle as if I was instinctually trying to protect the baby from him.

"Raise your right hand,"

"Mr. Cullen, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I swear,"

"Mr. Hayley – your witness."

"Mr. Cullen did you or did you not kill your former father-in-law?"

"I don't know, Mr. Hayley. Look, I've already talked to the prison psychiatrist for several times. The problem is that I don't remember anything about shooting."

"But you remember that you've been there, don't you?"

Edward nodded his head.

"Yes, I remember that part of the night."

"Do you remember arguing with him?"

"Yes, I do."

"What were you arguing about?"

"Objection! It doesn't matter one tiny bit what they were discussing that night."

"Overruled; Mr. Cullen, answer the question."

"Fine, your honor; Charlie Swan was mad at me because he had discovered that I was…seeing someone else behind my wife's back."

"I see. Am I assuming right that he wasn't very pleased about that?"

"Yes, he was…furious. He threatened to tell her everything."

"What happened then?"

"I don't remember. The next thing I know is that he was laying on the ground…bleeding out of a head wound."

"That's pretty practical that you don't remember anything about the essential parts."

"I'm sorry about what happened, but I can't take it back. Believe me that I would if I could. I don't want to be a monster."

"I don't believe one word that comes out of your mouth, Mr. Cullen."

"But I am sorry. You don't know how it's like to hear those…voices in my head over and over again. They're almost always present when I'm in a stressed…situation."

"What do those voices do? Are they telling you what to do?"

"Not exactly…it's more like a constant murmur in my mind. Sometimes I manage to blend it out but when I'm agitated it doesn't work."

"Hmm, I see. Did you ever consider getting professional help to deal with your so-called voice hearing?"

"I had some therapy when I was a child. It didn't work for me, so I stopped."

"Was it your idea to start therapy back then?"

"No, it was my father's suggestion."

"Do you have any idea what lead to his decision to get professional help for you?"

"I guess, he was worried because of some things that happened in school."

"What kind of things?"

"I got detention for hitting another boy unconscious."

I fucking knew that Lilly inherited her temper from him. Jeez, I prayed to god, that she wouldn't have inherited his maliciousness too. What in heaven's name should I do if she was going to develop signs of his…craziness?

"Do you remember why you hit that poor guy so hard that he had to spend several weeks in a hospital, living on liquid food?"

Edward's mouth twitched for a moment but he didn't answer.

"Don't you remember, Mr. Cullen?"

"It was a long time ago and I don't see any connection to the current case."

"Your honor, I think my client is actually right. It is of no concern for this case what kind of things he might have done in the past."

"I assure you that it is of concern. It's my goal to show the true character of the defendant. I don't believe in this whole hearing voices thing."

Derek turned to Edward again after loosening the white tie around his neck a little bit.

"Have you made this whole mental issue thing up to avoid spending time in jail?"

"Objection; leading."

"Sustained,"

"I'm not pretending to be sick…," Edward stated through gritted teeth.

"Mr. Cullen, you don't have to answer Mr. Haley's last question."

"Hmm,"

"Mr. Cullen, does the name Royce King Junior ring any bells for you?"

"Should it?"

"That's the name of the boy you've beaten up back then. I've read the record about that case. Just like your last victim you left him behind bleeding."

"I hate to repeat myself but that was almost twenty years ago. I'm sorry for having had such a temper back then."

"So back then it was just your temper that leaded to your outburst and now it's the evil voices in your head."

"Kind of,"

"No further questions, your honor."

"Mr. Mason – your witness."

"Thanks, your honor."

"Mr. Cullen, are you planning on getting professional treatment to overcome your psychological problems?"

"Definitely,"

"Why didn't you try to get some earlier?"

"I was afraid that it would lead to losing my job."

"I assume being arrested for first degree murder had sort of the same consequence for you."

"Yes, it had."

"So, Mr. Cullen, you don't remember anything about killing that poor man. Maybe you didn't even do it. Did the police find any of your fingerprints on the murder weapon?"

"No, they didn't."

"Why?"

"My mother cleaned it with some disinfection spray afterwards."

"Maybe she did that to wipe away her own?"

"Objection, leading – we have the ballistic expertise that the shooter was at least 6.2 tall. Mrs. Cullen is what…5.3 or something like that? So Mr. Mason's assumptions are pretty pointless."

"Sustained,"

"Mr. Cullen, are you sorry for what happened to your former father-in-law?"

"More than words could ever say and I wished; I could somehow turn back time, to make it undone."

"And just to please, Mr. Hayley and his concern about the…ugly, little incident with Mr. King. Do you regret that too?"

"No, I don't." his answer came out a little too harsh.

Mr. Mason wiped his sweaty forehead again and I wondered if the man was having hot flush because he was so nervous.

"Do you have a specific reason why you don't regret it?" he asked Edward hesitantly.

"Objection,"

"Overruled, Mr. Cullen, answer your lawyers question."

"Yes, I have a reason why I don't regret what I did back then, but it's not of any concern for this case."

"Hmm, I see. No further questions, your honor."

"Miss Penthes, do you have anything more that you would like to ask the defendant?"

"Yes, your honor."

Zafrina's voice was warm and friendly when she addressed Edward directly for the first time.

"Mr. Cullen, whose idea was it to clean up the weapon and the floor after the murder, yours or your mother's?"

"She did clean up the blood and the other stuff from the ground."

"I've not asked which of you cleaned up the mess. I want to know who of you came up with the idea of cleaning up in order to cover up the evidence of the crime."

"That was me."

"Did your _voices_ suggest that to you?"

"No, they didn't. It's not like they are talking to me and give me advices or something like that."

"Are the voices male or female?"

"I'm not sure."

"But you are sure that they are there and that they are responsible for what happened with your former father-in-law."

"Yes,"

"Were you afraid afterwards? I mean after you…woke up from your… shall I call it a mental attack or something like that?"

"Yes, I was."

"Afraid to get punished for what you did to the poor man?"

"Objection; leading…"

"Sustained. Miss Penthes, rephrase the question."

"Yes, your honor. Let's try it differently. Mr. Cullen, when you recognized, that Charlie Swan was dead what was your first thought in that moment?"

"Panic," he whispered hoarsely.

"Speak into the microphone, Mr. Cullen." the judge instructed, sipping on the glass of water on his desk.

"It was panic. God, there was so much blood and…bone splitters. The worst thing was the smell…like burned flesh. When I looked down at what had been his face once, I knew that this would haunt me for the rest of my life."

I pressed my hand against my lips while I waited for the nausea to end. Ali wrapped one arm around me and pulled me closer towards her.

"Do you need a break?" she whispered worriedly into my ear.

I quickly shook my head and when I gasped for air I tasted something wet and salty on my tongue.

"No further questions, your honor." Zafrina informed the judge and sat down next to me again.

When she saw my face she cringed slightly. Jeez, did I actually look that bad right now?

"Your honor, could we have a break now; my client's health is quite fragile at the moment. What is no surprise concerning the circumstances of this trial."

"It's alright, Miss Penthes. I'll interrupt for an hour. Maybe you should take your client outside. She looks as if she's about to faint any minute."

**XOXXOXXOXXOXO**

[A/N] Help me to reach my goal of reaching the **2000****th** Review mark and press the little button down there before you leave. It really means a lot to me.


	100. Chapter 100

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to SM

[A/N] I shouldn't be writing at all right now because my hands hurt like crap, but I kind of felt bad for leaving you hanging in the middle of the court scene.

This chapter here is dedicated to all those of you who have been with me from the very start and never stopped encouraging me to continue writing. Your support means more to me than you'll ever know.

****Chapter 100****

"Here, drink that." Jasmine stated, handing me a plastic cup with orange juice.

I took a small sip from the yellowish liquid. It tasted mostly like water and sugar but right now I was much too tensed to care at all what I was drinking.

"She looks white like a ghost." Ali mumbled while she started rubbing circles all over my wrist.

"She should stay here with you until everything is over." Zafrina whispered, flipping through a folder on her lap.

A low growl left my throat before I spoke up again.

"She is here right now and can hear the three of you perfectly."

"Bella, I'm just worried. We're all worried about you."

"That's completely unnecessary."

"You're still not able to lie properly." Jasmine told me, running her fingertips over the exposed skin on Zafrina's neck.

"There is not much I can do about that. Look, I know that I don't look like a day in June right now. That's probably normal concerning all the crap that I have to listen to inside there."

"I know, Bella. It's difficult for you to hear all those things about your ex-husband."

"Can I tell you something weird? I'm kind of angry at myself that he managed to…dazzle me at all. He's truly evil from the deepest corner of his heart. That poor boy he beat up…,"

"Shithead did what?" Jasmine asked curiously wrapping her arms around Zafrina's shoulder from behind.

"Hit a guy unconscious when he was still at school. A lot of people show first signs of aggressive behavior during puberty."

"Did they find out why he did it back then?"

"No, they didn't. Should they? I don't think it really matters." Zafrina mumbled, emptying the cup of coffee in her hands.

"The…victim Royce Kind Jr. moved to South Africa with his family afterwards. I assume that's why Derek wouldn't let him show up in court today. It would have been a pretty good way to influence the jury."

"Royce…Royce…" Ali murmured lost in thought.

"Do you know the guy?"

"Not really. He was dating my older sister Rosalie for a few months but I don't remember a lot about him. It was a long time ago."

"Maybe he did that because he was jealous." Jasmine assumed, taking the empty plastic cup from Zafrina to throw it away.

"Or maybe he was just being an ass."

Zafrina checked the time on her cell and sighed deeply.

"We should go back inside now. Are you sure that you can handle it, Bella? I don't want to be responsible if you faint or something."

I took a deep breath and stood up from the bench I had been sitting on.

"I need to go inside there. Not for me, but for Charlie. It's the last thing that I can do for him.

Ali took my hand in hers and squeezed it so tightly that it was almost painful.

"Kay, I'll stay with you but if I see you starting to tremble or if your face gets just one shade paler I'll carry you out of that damn courtroom myself.

I chuckled slightly. How the hell could I laugh now?

"If you try to carry me, you'll break your spine. I'm probably double your weight right now."

She leaned forward and planted a kiss on my swollen abdomen.

"I love you. Please promise me not to endanger your health. I'm sure that your father wouldn't have wanted that."

I nodded my head and followed Zafrina back into the courtroom.

Someone had obviously opened the windows during the interruption and so the unpleasant scent of disinfection spray had vanished a bit.

The judge entered the room again and told us to sit down. There was the scratching of chairs on the linoleum floor before finally there was nothing to hear but awful silence.

"Case 06-20-1901 the State of Washington against Edward A. M. Cullen. Mr. Hayley…you may call your next witness, please."

"Thanks, your honor."

"The prosecution would like to hear Dr. Carlisle Cullen now."

Dead, he looks as if he's dead although he's still alive, was my first thought when I raised my head to take a quick look at Carlisle. The torture in his face was so visible that I heard Ali swallow hard next to me, trying to keep the tears from falling. It was difficult for her to see him suffer like that and he did suffer so much was obvious.

The sharp, nasal sound of the Judge's voice made me cringe on my seat.

"Please, raise your right hand."

"Dr. Cullen, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I swear."

Derek cleared his throat and sipped on a glass of water before he spoke up.

"Dr. Cullen, we've heard your wife before and she seems to be convinced that your son is mentally sick. How do you feel about that?"

"How I feel about my wife thinking that our son is sick?"

"No, what I meant was; do you believe the same concerning his condition? Dr. Cullen, do you believe that your son is…crazy?"

Carlisle took a deep breath through his teeth before he answered and his voice was almost too low to understand him.

"I'm not sure."

"Keep your voice up, please."

"I'm not sure whether he is mentally ill or not."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, sometimes he shows clear signs of schizophrenia but on the other hand…he seems to be so clear about his actions. How he talked his mother into covering the…murder for him. He knew exactly what buttons to push to…,"

"Shut the hell up! You're just jealous because…,"

"Mr. Mason, compose your client this moment or I'll let him being removed from the courtroom."

"Yes, your honor."

Mr. Mason turned to Edward and mumbled something to him for several moments.

"He'll stay silent from now on, your honor."

"I hope so. We're not going to tolerate this kind of behavior inside these walls."

"Yes, your honor."

"Mr. Hayley, continue questioning your witness."

"Thanks, your honor. Well, Dr. Cullen, so you doubt that your son is mentally sick?"

"Objection, leading,"

"Overruled; Dr. Cullen, answer the question."

"It's very much likely that he's sick and I hope that he gets the help he needs soon. I'm just not sure but that's normal concerning the fact that I'm not a psychiatrist."

"But you suggested professional help for him when he was a child, didn't you."

"Yes, I did. But the situation back then was a different one."

"It was different in which way?"

"When the…incident with that other boy happened and we confronted him afterwards, he didn't show any signs of regret. It was almost as if he was secretly proud of what he had done."

"And that worried you?"

"Of course it did. That's not how I raised my children. I don't want them to handle there conflicts with physical violence."

"So you sent him to an asylum where they would set him straight again."

"I wouldn't call it that. It was more like a…boarding school with a bit of extra psychological advice and medical treatment."

"I see. How long was your son in that _special _school?"

"We sent him there a week after his fourteen's birthday and he was there for almost an entire year."

"And afterwards?"

"We never spoke of said time again. He was more quiet when he returned home but at least something like that outburst with the King kid never happened again."

"Did your wife tell you that your son killed his former father-in-law?"

"No, she didn't."

"If she had, would you have informed the authorities?"

He nodded his head.

"I would."

"Because you're a shitty father, for crying out loud! One day, you're going to rot in hell for all the wrong you have done to me."

Two uniformed men grabbed Edward by his shoulders and pulled him out of the room while he continued shouting like a complete maniac.

Mr. Mason wiped his sweaty forehead with a tissue and cleared his throat nervously.

"I'm sorry about that. But it shows how sick my client truly is."

"Maybe it just shows how bad his temper is?" Derek stated calmly, taking another sip from his glass of water.

"No further questions,"

"Mr. Mason – your witness."

"Thanks, your honor."

"Dr. Cullen, after what just happened in this room, do you honestly believe that your son is a mentally stable person? Aren't you afraid at all about the terrible things that could happen to him behind bars? Don't you think it would be better for him to spend the next months…,"

"Objection; Mr. Mason is trying to influence the witness."

"Sustained,"

"No further questions."

"Miss Penthes?"

Zafrina stood up from her chair and put a wisp of her dark hair that had escaped the knot at the back of her head behind her ear.

"Dr. Cullen, do you love your children?"

"Yes, I do."

"And your son's…condition worries you, doesn't it?"

"Of course it does."

"Did you try to convince him to get some therapeutic help before this trial?"

"Yes, I did. Several times to tell the truth, but he insisted that it wasn't necessary."

"But now he wants therapy. Do you have any idea why he changed his mind about it?"

"I don't know."

"No further questions."

"Dr. Cullen, you are excused."

"Mr. Hayley?"

"We would like to present the report of the prison psychiatrist now."

When the psychiatrist entered the room I instantly wondered if that man was mentally healthy himself. He had an almost devilish grin on his face when he sat down in the witness stand.

"State your full name for the record, please."

"Dr. Alistair Morgan."

"Raise your right hand."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I swear,"

"Dr. Morgan, you were instructed to do a psychiatric report on the defendant."

"Yes, I was. I've spoken to Mr. Cullen for several times now."

"And to what conclusion did you come during those sessions?"

"Some of his answers show pretty obvious signs of a quite common form of Schizophrenia while others seem to be more…clear."

"Is this normal for someone with a mental condition? That sometimes he seems to be clear about his actions and at other times he isn't."

"No, it isn't. Not with the medication we gave him when he arrived at the jail here."

"Why did you decide to give him tranquilizers?"

"Because he tried to attack a man in his cell block with a piece of broken glass,"

"Hmm, I see. Why do you think that some of his answers show…shall I call it similarity to those of someone who is schizophrenic?"

"I assume he's pretending."

"Objection; the psychiatrist isn't here to assume but to tell us the stated facts."

"Overruled,"

"Dr. Morgan, could you explain to us why you think that the defendant is pretending to be sick?"

"He told me in one of your sessions that he spent some time in a _special_ place as a child. One of the other boys there was very likely schizophrenic. That's probably where he learned about the different symptoms."

"No further question, your honor."

"Mr. Mason?"

"Dr. Morgan, couldn't it be that your diagnosis concerning my client is wrong?"

"It could be. Look, psychiatry isn't an exact science like physics."

"No further questions,"

"Miss Penthes?"

"No further questions."

I tried to blink away a few tears that were burning in the corner of my eyes while I desperately tried to get the trembling in my hands under control again.

Ali wrapped her arms around my middle and pulled me out of the room before I could protest against it.

"That's enough. You're going to stay right here until everything is over."

"No, I want to go back."

"Bella, you don't have to prove how strong you are. Not to me and sure as hell not to your dead father."

I burst out into tears and sobbed against her shoulder until only dry sobs left my throat that made me sound more like an animal in pain.

"I want him back."

"Whom? Charlie?"

"No, I want Edward back."

"You want what?" her crystal voice raised two octaves.

"He turned into such an evil, malicious person and I want the normal Edward back, the one who played piano for me in the living room of your parents' house. I don't want to explain to my little daughter one day how I managed to fall in love with a two faced monster."

"Do you still love him?" She sounded worried now.

"No, I don't. I love you…you and no one else. The only good thing in marrying Edward was that it led me to you. I love you more than words could ever say."

"I love you too." she whispered, putting a wisp of my hair behind my ear in a tender gesture.

I rested my head against her shoulder and sighed deeply while she rubbed up and down my back in an attempt to calm me down again.

It seemed like forever until the door of the courtroom opened again and Zafrina rushed out of it.

She kneeled down next to me and put one arm on my shoulder.

"Are you feeling a bit better? Jeez, I thought that you would faint inside there."

"Is it over now?"

"Not yet. We have to wait for the Jury to make their decision."

"How long will that take?"

"An hour, a day…a week,"

"Is he going to jail?"

"Hopefully,"

She pulled out her cell and typed a quick text into it.

Five minutes later Jasmine showed up with three cans of soda and a few candy bars.

"Am I your personal assistant now?"

"No, you aren't, because if I had one she'd know that they have a lovely cafeteria on the second floor of this building where you can buy sandwiches and other stuff."

Jasmine giggled and planted a kiss on Zafrina's forehead.

"Bella, do you want to eat something?"

"I think that I would throw up if I tried to eat now."

"Are you feeling dizzy?"

"Yes,"

"Do you want me and Jazz to take you to see a doctor?"

I shook my head.

"Please, stop being so terribly stubborn."

"I want to be here when they sentence him. I need to see his face…this last time."

"Bella,"

"I won't faint, I promise."

"Don't make a promise that you can't keep Look, I'm just worried about you and the little one."

"I know."

A uniformed young woman appeared in the doorframe and cleared her throat before he turned to Zafrina.

"We are ready now, Miss Penthes. Is your client going to stay outside or will she…?"

"She's coming with me."

Ali gave her a dirty look but when Zafrina guided me back into the courtroom she took my hand in hers and didn't let go. Not when I sat down on my chair, not when we rose as the judge entered the room. Her fingers stayed interlaced with mine and I hold on to her hand as if it was a life belt.

Edward was back, his shoulders squeezed between two bulky police officers.

The judge turned to him after sipping on the glass of water in front of him.

"Mr. Cullen, do you have anything to say before sentence is imposed?"

"Go to hell. All of you."

His eyes met mine for a split second and their ice cold look sent a shiver of fear down my spine.

"God is the one who decides which of us are going to hell, Mr. Cullen."

The judge cleared his throat before he addressed the Jury directly.

"Have you formed a conjointly decision concerning this case?"

"Yes, your honor, we have."

"And do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?"

"Guilty,"

I gasped for air and when I turned my head to Ali I realized that her eye makeup had left small black trails on her cheeks. When had she started to cry?

"We have come to the conclusion that the mental condition Mr. Cullen's lawyer insists his clients is having is way too implausible."

The man handed the judge a piece of paper and for a long awkward moment I heard nothing but the silent sobbing next to me.

Then finally the judge spoke up again, his voice sharp like a razorblade when the first words left his mouth.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you have been found guilty of first degree murder on the victim Charles Swan. You are going to be send to the federal prison where you are going to serve a lifelong sentence. It is our intent that you're to see a psychiatrist of your own choice to help you deal with your mental problems if you so wish."

"Go to hell! All of you! I don't need any kind of your stupid advices."

He dropped the table in front of him to the floor but was stopped immediately by the iron grip of the two police officers.

When they shoved him out of the room he stopped abruptly when he was directly in front of us. He chuckled slightly, actually chuckled. God, this man was crazy…no matter what the court had decided.

"You think you won, Mary Alice don't you. I want you to remember something. She was mine before she was yours. I was inside her before you and there is nothing that you can change about that. I just regret not having killed you when I had the chance. Would have solved me…,"

With that he was gone and I wrapped my trembling arms around my quivering wife.

"Ali, please, do not listen to the horrible things he said. He just did that to hurt you."

"I know."

"Why are you crying then?"

"You are crying too."

I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand and realized that she was right.

"I love you and I'm glad that everything is over now."

"Is it? It doesn't feel to me as if it is over."

"Maybe not now, but it will."

"I hope so."

I leaned forward and rested my head against her shoulder, inhaling deeply to absorb the familiar scent of vanilla and sweet red apples.

"Can we go home now? I'm pretty exhausted."

She nodded her head and right then I felt that somehow, we were free from the ghosts of the past now.

**XOXXOXXOXXOXOXXO**

[A/N] I would appreciate it a lot if all you left a little comment on this chapter. Yes, you too. *smile*

I'm relieved that this part of the story is over. There is a lot of lovely fluff to come now and maybe some more drama (not for Bellice but maybe for some of the other characters).


	101. Chapter 101

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N]

I'm not feeling that well right now so my updates are going to be a bit slower in the next time. It sucks but unless one of you is volunteering to work as my personal secretary, there's not much that I can do until my hurting hands have healed properly.

This chapter here is dedicated to **x0xElLax0x** and **Chemical Dreamer**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 101****

"I don't know how this could happen." she stumbled out while she wiped her running nose on the sleeve of her blouse.

"It's not like I'm some fucking teenager how doesn't know how to handle those things. How in heaven's name am I going to explain that to Stefan?"

I sighed deeply and handed her a tissue before I slowly sat down next to her on the couch.

"How far are you?" I asked her, while I started rubbing circles over her wrist in an attempt to calm her down.

"My gynecologist says I'm eight weeks now. God, this is a disaster."

"No, it's not. An earthquake is a disaster, but this is something good. It's life."

"But when we got married both of us agreed that we didn't want to have kids. Stefan is going to be a…,"

She swallowed hard before she continued.

"He's going to be a grandfather in less than four months thanks to your brilliant plan to use Benjamin as the donor for your child. I don't have a clue what to do now."

"Do you want to keep it?" I asked her hesitantly while I poured her a glass of orange juice. I had developed a preference for that stuff, although it was starting to give me heartburn.

"Yes…no…I don't know. I can't really see myself as a mother."

"But you're good with kids. Lilly is so thrilled when she gets to spend time with you and Stefan."

"Lilly is not a baby and you can't compare babysitting with having a child of your own."

"I know."

Her cell vibrated in her handbag and she pulled it out to read the new text.

"That's Stefan. Crap, how am I going to explain that to him?"

"Do you think that he's going to mad at you?"

She shook her head.

"I don't think so. But I don't think he will be thrilled either. He had this plan to travel the world in a few years and now. Jeez, I have no idea what to do."

She stood up from the couch and put her jacket back on.

"I'm going for a walk now and then I'll try to come up with an idea how to explain the fact to my husband that I screwed up our plans for the future."

"You actually know that it takes two to make a baby?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Swan. I'm aware of that. Doesn't make it any better."

"Look, sometimes the best things that happen to you in your life are the ones you never wished for. Lilly was sort of an accident too."

"Why am I an accident?" Lilly asked me worriedly when she entered the living room followed by our calf sized dog.

"You're not. Mommy meant that she would be very, very sad if you happened to have an accident."

"Does that mean I'm not allowed to use my bike anymore?"

"No, it doesn't. Just promise me to be careful. Will you?"

"Hmm,"

"Come here, sweetie."

She cuddled against my side and rested her head against my swollen middle.

"It gurgles."

"Yes, it does. Do you want to talk to the baby?"

"Can it hear me?"

I nodded my head and she pressed her mouth against my abdomen to mumble something against the fabric of my shirt.

Angela cleared her throat nervously and waved her hand at us.

"I'm leaving. Can I call you later?"

"Of course, you can and please stop worrying that much. Everything is going to be okay."

She forced her lips into a smile before she turned around and walked out of the room.

"Lilly, where are Jasmine and Zafrina? Weren't you supposed to stay with them?"

"They're still outside in the garden and they are fighting because Amarillo doesn't want to do what they tell her."

"Should we help them?"

"Maybe we should keep the puppy instead of them? Oh, please say yes, mommy!"

"Lilly, we can't…,"

Something small and clumsy scuttled into the room and rubbed its tiny snout against Fido's leg.

"Baby, come back!" Jasmine called after the little dog when she rushed into the room, obviously scared that Fido would accidentally sit down on the puppy or something like that.

"Use her real name. She needs to learn it." Zafrina told her reproachfully, twisting her hair into a knot at the back of her head.

"Don't tell me how to handle _my_ dog."

"So it's your dog now? But last night when you made me stand up three times to take her out, she was _our_ dog."

Jasmine chuckled and planted a kiss on Zafrina's cheek before she kneeled down and waved with a tiny piece of biscuit in her hand.

"Come here, Amarillo."

The puppy seemed to find it way more interesting to play with Fido's tail and didn't even turn its head in her direction.

"Baby, come to mommy!"

"Use her name for crying out loud. Don't you know a thing about training animals, Miss-I-was-raised-on-a-Ranch?"

"Guys, please stop fighting."

"We're not fighting." Both of them answered simultaneously.

"Maybe you should have thought a bit longer before buying a dog so spontaneously."

"But she chose me." Jasmine insisted, while she waved with the piece of biscuit in front of the puppy's face.

Zafrina rolled her eyes at that.

"I guess that everything is my fault. If I hadn't showed her that article about therapy dogs…,"

"It was a brilliant idea. She's going to be one fine therapy dog. Won't you, Amarillo?"

The tiny Golden Retriever puppy whimpered and a split second later a small yellow puddle started forming underneath it.

"Take her out!"

"Too late,"

**XXXX**

"Can you try to explain to me why our living room smells like some truck stop restroom?" Ali asked me when she wrapped her arms around me from behind.

"Jasmine's _baby_ left a mess on the floor. I told them not to come back with it until they can control that properly."

"The puppy is so cute and Jazz is absolutely thrilled about it."

"Hmm, yes she is. She seems to be happy. Zafrina is good for her."

Slowly I turned around and cupped her face between my hands to plant a soft kiss on her ruby tinted lips. The tip of my tongue swirled over her lower lip until she parted her mouth a bit to let me massage her tongue with mine. A low moan escaped her throat and almost automatically my right hand moved down her spine to caress the small stripe of expose skin between her shirt and her skirt.

Like velvet, I thought, circling my fingertips up and down in small circles. Her warm skin feels like velvet.

"Momma, you're back! Finally!"

I pulled back and Ali kneeled down to wrap her arms around Lilly.

"Hi sweetie, shouldn't you be sleeping yet?"

"I'm not tired. Did mommy tell you that the puppy peed on the floor in the living room?"

"Yes, she did."

"That was funny."

"Not for those you had to clean up the mess." I mumbled, sitting down on the edge of the couch. My back was starting to hurt and I pressed my fist against it in an attempt to lessen the pain a bit.

"Are you okay?" Ali asked me, taking my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"Hmm, I'm good. Just a bit tired."

It wasn't necessary that she started to worry again. She had enough on her mind right now that she had to deal with.

"You shouldn't have stayed awake. That goes for both of you."

She lifted Lilly up and I fought the urge to tell her to put her down again. It wasn't good that she continued to carry her around all the time. Lilly was too heavy and Ali was so tiny and fragile herself.

"Stay where you are," she whispered while Lilly rested her head against her shoulder.

"I'll be right back."

When she walked up the stairs I tried to stand up from the couch again. A cramp went through my lower abdomen, so strong that it made my legs start to quiver slightly and I quickly sat down on the couch again.

The pain was gone as soon as it had started but I still wondered what was causing it. Was that magnesium deficiency or something like that?

My hands cradled my rounded middle while the little nudger kicked forcefully against my ribs.

"Stubborn little thing. You aren't going to make this easy for me, are you?" I whispered so low that it was barely audible.

Ali was back in no time and sat down next to me on the couch, taking both of my hands in hers to rub circles over my swollen fingers.

"How are you feeling? The truth – not what you think I want to hear."

"My back hurts, but it's not that bad."

She sighed and turned me to over to the other side while she started kneading the hardened muscles in my back with her knuckles. Damn it, how could such a tiny woman have so much strength in her hands?

"Better?" she asked after a few minutes and I turned my head to nudge my lips against hers.

"Much. You're really good at that."

"I'm a woman with many talents."

"Speaking of talents and those you have. Did everything go okay on the meeting with Didyme and the others?"

"Promise not to tell anyone but they're all just a bunch of middle aged women with way too much money. The good thing is that they really seemed to like my sketches. Didyme wants me to organize a fashion show."

Her caramel eyes started to sparkle and I took her hand in mine to plant several kisses all over her dainty knuckles.

"That's fantastic. When are you planning on having your big event?"

She blushed and pulled a folder out of her handbag.

"Let's see. Oh there it is…three months from now. That's not a lot of time to prepare everything."

"Do you want me to help you?"

She shook her head and sucked her bottom lip between her teeth to bite it nervously.

"I have to tell you something."

"That doesn't sound too good to me. Just spit it out before you are going to leave some permanent damage on your lip with your teeth.

"Didyme wants me to go to Italy with her to buy cloths and other stuff."

"Italy? You mean like Italy in Europe Italy?" My voice raised two octaves although I desperately tried to keep it calm. This was important to her and I didn't want to ruin that for Ali.

"It's just for a week. Look, I'm sorry. I really feel bad for leaving you here on your own."

"Don't. I want you to go." I want you to stay, I added in my head while I forced my mouth into a grimace that was supposed to look like a smile.

"You don't look as if you want me to go." she stated, rubbing her fingers over the metal of my wedding band.

"That's because I'm selfish. I want to keep you all to myself."

She cupped my face between her hands and stroked down my cheekbones with her fingertips.

"I can't imagine being separated from you, even if it's just for a few days."

"Me too,"

Her sweet breathe tickled my lips when she leaned forward, stopping just an inch before our mouths connected.

"Kiss me," I whispered, twisting my hands into the spikey curls of her short hair to pull her closer.

Her lips found mine and something like a very pleasant current went down my spine when the tip of her tongue caressed the inside of my mouth. I sucked her upper lip between my teeth to nibble on it while I felt her hand moving under the hem of my shirt.

"I love you." she mumbled against my trembling mouth when she pulled back a few moments later.

"I love you too. I wished that I could come with you to Italy."

"No way, I don't want to risk you ending up in a hospital over there because you get premature labor."

"Fine, I'll stay here and wait for you to come back like a good wife should do it."

"I'd always come back to you." she murmured resting her head against my under belly.

Her fingertips brushed gently over the amber shaped heart that was hanging around my neck.

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

**XOXXOXXOXXO**

[A/N] I really love the quote at the end of the chapter. Does anyone of you know where I got it from?

Leave me some love and press the little review button down there. We're just 33 reviews away from the big **2000****th** review mark and all of you know that means me spoiling the sex of the little nudger.


	102. Chapter 102

[Disclaimer] Twilight still belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just borrow her characters to have some fun.

[A/N]

Welcome back to another episode of your very favorite Twilight soap aka fan-fiction.

This chapter here is dedicated to **Villemo79** and **chaseherchiss**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 102****

_Ali's POV_

"When are you going to Italy?" Rosalie asked me, sipping on the cup of herbal tea in front of her. She had made a few stupid comments about the chocolate cake I had brought with me but the way her eyes kept looking over to the box at the other side of the table proved to me that it had been a good idea to get her something sweet. Maybe she would eat some of it later, when no one could see her. Jeez, it was ridiculous how fussy my older sister was about her weight.

Had she always been that obsessed with that? I couldn't remember. What a difference could a size more or less make? Rosalie was pretty, way prettier than I ever could be. I remembered asking my mother if I would get curvy like her when I get older. God, how much I kept wishing for that during my entire puberty…

"Ali, are you still here?"

"Hmm?"

"When are you going to Italy?"

"Oh that. Didyme booked a flight for all of us on next Tuesday. I don't want to go but it's essential for the fashion show she wants me to make."

"You don't want to go because of Bella." she stated calmly, opening the box with the cake to stuff the half of one piece between her coral tinted lips.

"S…p m…f,"

"What?"

"Please put that away before I munch down the entire box."

"I don't think you will."

"Don't be so sure about that." she murmured, licking the rest of the frosting from her perfectly -manicured fingers.

"But you are right…about me not wanting to go to Italy because of Bella. What if anything happens while I'm gone?"

"Our brother is behind bars. That means that the two of you should start to relax a little bit."

"I know. There are enough other things that could happen to her."

"You are cute when you are so overly caring. You inherited that from mom."

She sipped on her tea and took another piece of the cake to nibble on it before she continued.

"Are you going to talk to mom again?"

"Of course, I will. It's just that I'm not ready right now to face her. She's so miserable because Edward is in jail now."

"I know."

I cleared my throat and emptied the glass of water in front of me.

"Did you know that he beat up one of your ex-boyfriends? Some poor fucker named Royce King. Edward broke his jaw with a baseball bat."

The edge of her lips twitched for a moment before her fingertips started trembling and the content of her tea cup landed on the cream colored carpet underneath us.

"I can't believe he would do something like that for me," her voice cracked and was so low that it was almost impossible to understand her.

"Crap, that's going to leave a mark,"

She kneeled down and tried to wipe out a bit of it with a clean tissue.

Her beautiful face was white like chalk when she raised her head again.

"Rosie, are you okay?"

Instead of answering me she rushed into the kitchen and retuned a few moments later with some cleaning powder and a scrubber.

"You can do that later. Please sit down for a moment. You look as if you're going to be sick."

"If I get sick that's just because of the fucking cake you brought here with you!"

I cringed and stood up from the couch, crossing my hands in front of my chest.

"I'm leaving now. You can call me when you've overcome your ridiculous issues that you have with food."

XXXX

"This dieting bullshit is turning my sister into such a bitchy woman." I growled while I sat down next to Bella on the edge of the bed.

She nodded her head and wrapped her arms around me from behind, pulling me close against her body. Her long hair fell forward over her shoulder and caressed my cheekbone like a silky veil.

"It's not easy when you're trying to get your weight down. There are delicious temptations everywhere waiting for you to be stuffed into your mouth."

She sighed deeply and planted a kiss on the exposed skin on my neck.

"I'm really not looking forward to that."

"Bella, you don't have to put yourself through this nonsense after the baby is born. Somehow your weight will automatically bounce back to what is supposed to be your natural weight."

A low snarl left her throat before she turned to the other side of the bed, pressing her face against the fluffy pillows.

For a split second I wondered if she going to cry now. Damn it, I didn't want her to cry over something like that.

"You don't know how it's like." she whispered so low that her voice was barely audible.

"I don't know what?" I asked her, caressing her back in small circles before I cuddled against her from behind and nuzzled my nose against the crock of her neck.

"How it's like to be fat."

I sighed deeply and put a wisp of her beautiful hair behind her ear to plant a soft kiss right underneath her earlobe.

"You are not fat. Please stop thinking stuff like that about yourself."

"But it's true. There is no way to sugarcoat it."

"You actually know that you are pregnant right now? No one is skinny during a pregnancy…well apart from the wife of that British soccer player perhaps."

"It hasn't got anything to do with the baby. Even before…and sure as hell afterwards I'll never manage to get thin enough because I have zero discipline."

"Bella…,"

I kissed her cheek and tasted something wet and salty on the tip of my tongue. Hesitantly I wiped away a single teardrop and cupped her face in my right hand to make her look at me again.

"I love you like you are. Can't you see how gorgeous your curves are?"

My fingertips moved down her collarbone until I reached the roundness of her breasts.

"Yeah, I know, eventually the fat ends everywhere on the body, even on the places where it is supposed to be attractive."

I rolled her over so that she was lying on her back and pulled her shirt up to cup both of her breasts in my hands. When my thumbs brushed over the sensitive area around her nipples a low moan escaped her throat.

"You are trying to distract me," she whispered, twisting her fingers into the messy curls of my hair.

"No, I'm not." I mumbled before I leaned forward to swirl the tip of my tongue over one of the rosy tips. It instantly hardened under my caress.

I squeezed her other nipple between my thumb and my forefinger before I sucked it between my lips to gently graze it with my front teeth.

"I just want to make you feel good." I whispered, when I kissed my way up her full breasts again, enjoying the slightly salty taste of her soft skin.

Her lips found mine and when she gasped for air I slipped my tongue into the sweet warmth of her mouth to massage her tongue with mine.

My hand moved between her thighs and stroked up and down their insides in small circles. When my fingertips brushed over her underwear I realized how damp the thin material already was.

Slowly I moved my fingers over her covered slit while I closed my mouth around one of her pebbled nipples to suckle it greedily. A few moments later the cotton fabric underneath my fingertips was completely soaked through.

I sucked the sensitive skin on her collarbone between my teeth and when I pulled back a crimson colored mark appeared on her creamy skin.

"I love you…everything on you."

With feather light movements I circled my hands down her sides until my fingertips reached her hips.

"You need to stop doubting that your curves aren't anything but sexy, for that's what they are."

With trembling fingertips I shoved her underwear down her legs and kneeled down between them.

Carefully I parted her with two fingers and swirled my tongue over her slick inner lips until I nudged it gently against the throbbing pearl of her clit. She whimpered slightly and when I shoved two of my fingers inside of her, the inner walls almost instantly clenched around them over and over again.

XXXX

"Please! Please say yes! Oh momma, please…please…please."

I sighed deeply and pulled Lilly on my lap to put a wisp of her copper hair behind her ear.

"Sweetie, I don't think that this is a good idea."

"But Jane said her aunt is okay with us coming with you to Italy. Please…I really want to go."

"Lilly, I'm not going there to have a vacation. Didyme is taking me there to buy cloth for the dresses I'm designing."

"Maybe I could help you with that?" she suggested cheerfully.

I took her tiny hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"You would help me a lot more if you promised to take care of your mommy and the baby while I'm gone."

"Hmm,"

"It's really important and I wouldn't ask anyone else to do that."

"Really?"

I nodded my head and pulled her closer to me.

"When the baby is born I'm going to be its big sister. Just like Auntie Rosie is your big sister."

"Hmm, exactly like that, Lilly."

The key turned around in the lock and the russet colored dog rushed into the living room followed by a clumsy little puppy that left a few tiny dirty paw prints on the floor.

Lilly jumped from my lap to stroke over Fido's fur while the whining puppy licked her face.

"Stop that, Amarillo. It's gross to lick people's face."

"Come here, Amarillo." Zafrina instructed and to my surprise the little dog obeyed her order almost instantly.

"Good girl. We have to prove to Jasmine how good you and I can handle everything."

She pulled out a biscuit and stuffed it into the puppy's snout.

Bella sighed and sat down on the edge of the couch. I took her feet into my hands and started to rub them gently.

"Maybe you shouldn't have gone to the park with Zafrina and the dogs. You look exhausted."

"I'm just a bit tired but I can't stay inside the house until the baby is born."

"But you are supposed to rest." I whispered, kneading her toes with my fingertips until I felt her relax a bit under my caress.

"Are you planning on delivering the baby here?" Zafrina asked us, sitting down on the armchair across from us.

"We haven't really talked about the birth yet but I highly doubt that giving birth to the baby in our living room is a good idea."

"I actually like the thought." Bella stated, taking a sip from the glass of orange juice Lilly handed her carefully.

"Hospitals make me nervous and the disgusting smell inside them…,"

"Bella, I don't think Dr. O'Hara would agree with you having a homebirth."

"Probably,"

I wrapped my arms around her and cradled her rounded middle between my hands. The little nudger kicked against my palm and I couldn't help but smile at the thought of actually holding the baby in my arms in a few months.

**XOXOXOXXOXOXXO**

[A/N]

If you are interested in that kind of thing you could check out my new video-trailer I made for another story idea.

Just remove the () to take a look at it.

http(:/)www(.)youtube(.)com(/)watch?v(=)GazlRWQKHxA


	103. Chapter 103

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Blows kisses and confetti to all her awesome readers out there, without your amazing encouragement I couldn't have done it.

This chapter here is dedicated to **the-poetry-of-ink** for being my **2000****th** reviewer. Hope you'll enjoy.

#FAQ

Will Edward come back in the story?

Is anyone missing him yet? He's definitely going to stay in jail where he belongs. Maybe he will be mentioned now and then by some of the other characters but he's not going to make a physical appearance anymore.

****Chapter 103****

I will not cry. I will not cry. I repeated over and over in my head while I desperately tried to keep my mouth in that faked smile I had decided to put on until Ali would disappear in the departure lounge of the airport.

"Look at me," she whispered softly, cupping my face between her dainty hands to pull me closer to her.

"I'm going to miss you too,"

My lips nudged against hers and when I gasped for air she slipped the tip of her tongue into my mouth to caress its inside tenderly.

She tasted sweet, a bit like the strawberry frosting of the donut she had eaten earlier and I licked over her full lower lip to get off every tiny rest of it.

"Too cute,"

I cringed and pulled back to look into a pair of pitch black eyes in a grinning face.

"Oh, don't let me disturb your little goodbye scene. It's pretty nice to watch."

Ali growled and crossed her hands in front of her chest. I wrapped my arms around her shoulder to keep her from doing something stupid.

"What the fuck are you doing here James?"

"Flying to Milan with you and the rest of the crew," he stated, licking his bottom lip greedily.

"Why? Didyme knows that I don't want to work with you."

"Maurice the other photographer can't fly because he has acute ear or some crap like that."

He grinned again and I fought the incredible urge to hit him straight into his face.

"Looks like the two of us are going to spend a lot of time together in the next week. Are you excited about that, Ali?"

He took a step forward and she instantly took one backwards. Damn it, I didn't want her to be afraid of that asshole.

"You are going to keep your fucking paws away from her or I'll make sure that your mother doesn't get any grandchildren from you." I snarled at him, pulling Ali closer against me.

"Your wife seems to be a little bit bitchy. Must probably be all the pregnancy hormones in her blood. How did the two of you manage to produce a baby anyway? I thought that you weren't into threesomes."

"It's none of your business, James." I mumbled, rubbing my fingertips up and down Ali's bare forearms in an attempt to calm her down.

"I have to admit that I'm a little bit jealous of the lucky guy…,"

"Shut up. I'm not going to spend one single minute alone with you over there and just for the record; if you dare to start any weird moves on me, I'm going to sue your sorry ass for sexual harassment before you can even blink twice, Mr. Hunter."

He chuckled and licked his lips again.

"I like a woman who puts up a good fight before she surrenders."

"James, I'm serious about the harassment thing."

"Whatever. Excuse me now; I have to talk to some of the models before we get on the plane."

He walked away and Ali sat down on the cold linoleum floor.

"I don't want to go," she stumbled out when I kneeled down next to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Because of this James bastard?" I asked her worriedly.

"That too, but mostly because I don't want to leave you behind, Bella,"

I kissed her again and inhaled deeply through my nose to absorb as much of her delicious vanilla scent as possible.

"Don't worry about me. I and the little nudger will be fine when you come back to us."

She sighed deeply and planted a kiss on my lips before she leaned down and pressed her lips underneath my belly button.

"Bye little nudger,"

I cleared my throat and pulled the tiny box out of my handbag to hand it to her.

"Open it."

She flipped the box open and her lips twitched into a warm smile.

"You shouldn't have,"

"But I wanted to." I whispered and planted a kiss on each of her knuckles.

"I've already set the clock on European time for you."

She stood up from the ground and put a wisp of my hair behind my ear.

"Thanks, the watch is really pretty."

"It has an engraving too," I told her, running my fingertips over the sensitive skin on her wrist.

Slowly she flipped the watch around on her left palm to read the words I had let them carve into the silver material.

_Time is endless and so is our love_

XXXXX

"I have a bad feeling when I'm thinking of Ali being over there in Italy with this fucker James Hunter."

Emmett chuckled and took another sip from the glass of coke in front of him before he spoke up again.

"It's cute that you are so worried about her, but that's completely unnecessary. Ali knows how to defend herself against…how shall I call it…unwanted attention or stuff like that?"

I sighed and cradled my rounded middle between my hands while the baby kept kicking against my ribs so hard that I wondered if he or she would manage to break one of them in the next weeks.

"And you know that why? Ali is so tiny and fragile."

"That doesn't mean she can't defend herself. It's all about using the right techniques."

"Hmm,"

"Can I ask you something without you getting pissed at me?"

"That depends…," I murmured, taking a bite from the chocolate covered apple in front of me. Over the years I had developed a special method of eating stuff like that without really having too much of the fruit itself.

"Is it possible that a woman suddenly turns into a lesbian?"

"Yes…no, what kind of question is that anyway?"

"It's because of Rose. She's acting so weird in the last days and…,"

He stopped midsentence when Jasmine and Zafrina appeared on the porch, the tiny puppy wrapped into a fluffy towel.

"Hi Bella, Emmett,"

"Is the dog sick?" I asked Jasmine who was cradling the poor animal like an actual infant.

"No, she's just tired because s_omeone_ made her walk through the entire park this morning although that _someone_ knows that my little baby is much too small for such a long walk."

Zafrina rolled her eyes at that and sat down on a chair next to me.

"It's a good thing that you have to work that much right now, because you are to soft-hearted to train the dog."

"I'm not soft-hearted."

"That's what you think, cowgirl."

Emmett snarled and emptied the glass of coke in one big gulp.

"Jasmine, are you going to tell me what is going on between you and my wife?"

"Do I hear a slight hint of jealousy in your voice?" she asked him, running her fingertip over the edge of a vase on the table.

"Don't get your hopes too high, Jazz. I just want to know why she had to meet with you every single day during the last week."

"Why aren't you asking that question to Rosalie?"

"I have, but she doesn't want to talk about it."

"And I can't talk about it because it's…confidential."

He growled and crossed his arms in front of his broad chest.

"Do you think I'm stupid? I know that Rosalie doesn't believe in any of this psycho crap and apart from that I highly doubt that all of your patients shower after their appointments with you."

"Hmm,"

She sat down on Zafrina's lap and planted a kiss on her lips before she handed her the sleeping puppy.

"If she has anything that she wants to talk about, she can talk to me. I'm her husband for crying out loud."

"Emmett, it's not like you think it is." Jasmine stated after a few awkward moments of silence.

"If I find out that you're fucking my wife behind my back, I'm going to...,"

"Don't be ridiculous, Em. Besides…if I want to fuck a pretty blonde, I can go home and masturbate."

"Keep your hands off of my Rosie, if you want to keep them."

"Threat her just one more time and I'm going to shove my heel up your ass." Zafrina snarled at him, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled towards the floor.

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I'm really starting to worry about her. She's acting so weird right now and even decided to visit her shithead of a brother in jail although I told her it was a stupid idea."

"You didn't tell him?" I asked Angela while I flipped through a magazine on my lap. It smelled disgustingly of disinfection spray inside the waiting hall of the hospital and I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Hopefully they wouldn't make me wait here for too long.

"I couldn't. He seems to be so happy right now and I didn't want to ruin that for him."

"Ela, you really should talk to Stefan about the baby. It won't get any easier if you wait any longer."

"Probably, but I'm still too chicken."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"Do you want me to tell him for you? Because I would totally do it, if you want me to."

"Really?"

I nodded my head and gave her an encouraging smile.

"Mrs. Swan, Dr. O'Hara is ready to see you now."

Carefully I stood up from my chair and pressed my fist against my hurting back.

"Hello, Mrs. Swan. How's it going?" my gynecologist greeted me cheerfully when I entered her office.

"My back hurts like crap and my feet are swollen but apart from that, I and the little nudger are doing pretty fine, thank you."

"Little nudger?"

"Well, that's just because we don't know the sex of the baby yet."

"Maybe we're lucky and are going to find out about that today during your ultrasonic testing."

She wrapped the blood pressure cuff around my arm and pressed the cold metal of the stethoscope against my chest.

"I'm not very content with the way your blood pressure is reacting to your pregnancy. It will probably lead to you having premature labor and other complications."

I sighed and twisted my hair into a sloppy ponytail.

"Where is your wife today? She's always asking me so many questions when you bring her with you."

"Ali is in Italy right now with her boss."

Really? That's pretty amazing. _Bella Italia_, I truly envy her."

When I stood up from the chair to walk over to the examination couch another sharp pain went straight through my lower stomach.

"Ouch," I hissed through gritted teeth.

"That bad? Maybe we should keep you here over night, just to be sure."

I quickly shook my head and sat down again.

"It's not that bed and I can't leave my daughter alone at home."

"Hmm, I see. Would you like to try some acupuncture? It could really help you to get rid of your back problems."

"I'm not exactly a fan of needles," I confessed embarrassedly.

"Just give it a try. If you can't handle it we can always stop the treatment."

"Kay,"

She pulled my shirt upwards and smeared a bit of the contrast gel over my rounded abdomen. I cringed when the cold gel met my overheated skin.

"Everything seems to be pretty fine with your baby." She told me after a few moments. Then she pointed towards the tiny black and white screen.

"See that little row of pearls? That's the spine."

"Hmm,"

"And that's a tiny arm and…that down there…,"

I raised my head to get a better look at the screen.

"I don't see anything down there." I whispered, trying to get any sense into the blurry ultrasound picture.

"Exactly," she told me cheerfully, wiping the contrast gel away with a tissue.

"You can't see anything because the baby is going to be a little girl."

**XOXXOXXXOXXOXXO**

[A/N] So the truth is finally out. The little nudger is going to be a girl. I'm sure Ali will be thrilled when she finds out about that.

Follow me on twitter - **MyTwiDreams** for spoilers and pretty pointless ramblings about all or nothing.


	104. Chapter 104

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I have some issues keeping away from writing even if that would be way better for my health.

Thanks and hugs to all of you who keep reading and reviewing. Your encouraging feedback means a lot to me.

This chapter here is dedicated to **secrets87** and **mydsgirl**. Hope you'll enjoy the update.

*I feel like I need to give you a little warning. We are going to find out some ugly details about Rosalie's past in this one. Feel free to skip the part between the **XxXxXxX** if you can't handle reading that kind of stuff.*

****Chapter 104****

I dipped another piece of potato into the creamy sauce before I put it carefully between my lips to nibble on it. For the first time in a very long period of time I didn't feel any appetite at all.

Maybe it was because of the culinary tantrum the beautiful blonde haired woman sitting opposite from me was throwing.

No dressing on the salad, no butter on the steak and sure as hell no potatoes at all. Carbs after 5 p.m. almost seemed like a sacrilege to Rosalie who had managed to lose all of her pregnancy fat during the last few weeks.

Unfortunately it didn't seem to have had a positive effect on her character. She was terribly tensed almost bitchy and I wondered why she had agreed to come to dinner at my house tonight at all.

"That was really delicious, Bella." Angela mumbled wiping her mouth on a napkin.

"But you didn't eat much, Dragostea mea. Aren't you feeling well?" Stefan asked her, taking her hand in his to squeeze it gently.

"Maybe she's trying to lose some weight?" Rosalie assumed, taking a sip from the glass of water in front of her.

"No, it's not like that." Angela stumbled out, fisting her hand around the napkin that she was still holding.

It was obvious to me why Angela was so nervous. Both of us had agreed that it would be best to break the happy news to her husband on a neutral territory. What we hadn't planned was that the evening turned into something like a family meeting.

I sighed and emptied the glass of orange juice in front of me in one big gulp.

"You actually know that this stuff contains nothing but sugar, water and some artificial flavor crap?" Rosalie asked me, putting a wisp of her long hair behind her ear.

"I'm drinking it because I like the taste."

"But it's a waste of empty calories,"

"Hmm,"

"How are the twins doing?" Stefan asked Emmett who pulled a few wrinkled pictures out of his purse.

"They're growing every day. Oh and I've finally figured out how to know which is who."

"Took you long enough," Rosalie muttered, taking another sip from her water.

"Are things going okay with Irina? I know it's none of my business but my brother-in-law keeps calling me over and over again because he's worried about her."

"He's calling because he's an asshole who doesn't respect his daughter's privacy at all." Angela stated, pouring herself another glass of the empty-caloried orange juice.

"He's just a bit overprotective. I know that you don't like him but he's family. You can't choose your family."

"Hmm, I know."

"Well to come back to our au-pair. She is really good with kids."

"And unlike a man who dares to call himself their father, Irina managed to know which twin is which within a couple of hours."

"It's not his fault. All babies look exactly the same. Not that they aren't cute that way." Stefan mumbled, running his fingers over the metal of Angela's wedding ring.

"The only thing that is wrong with Irina is that she is so terribly nervous all the time. She gets almost panicle when we are in a crowed place like the mall."

"That's just because she's not used to that. I mean she comes from a tiny village and Seattle is a pretty big town."

"Hmm, whatever, she needs to get used to it. Oh and we definitely need to convince her to go to the park with the kids again. They really need more fresh air, it makes them sleepier."

"Why doesn't she want to go there?" Angela asked Emmett, taking a small sip from her orange juice.

"Some creepy idiot tried to talk to her the last time she went there and now she's scared that something like that could happen again. I've tried to convince her that it's perfectly safe. It's not that there are constantly women getting raped there during the daytime."

Rosalie's plate landed on the floor with a shattering noise.

"Keep your stupid mouth shut for once, McCarthy." she stumbled out, pressing her hand against her lips. Her face had an almost greenish color now.

"Excuse me; I really think that I need some fresh air now."

With that she rushed out of the kitchen door. Slowly I stood up from my chair to follow her. It wasn't like I was keen on holding her hair while she threw up the few calories she had managed during the dinner but somehow I started worrying about her. Maybe it was because I actually knew how much Ali cared for her older sister.

Outside on the porch it was terribly cold for a summer night and I felt the bare skin on my forearms breaking out in goose flesh.

Rosalie sat down on the ground, her head pulled between her knees.

Hesitantly I put one arm around her quivering shoulder. A low sob escaped her throat before she burst out into tears.

"Are you okay?" I asked her worriedly, twisting her hair into a messy ponytail so that she wouldn't get it dirty.

She sniffed and pulled a tissue out of her pocket to clean her running nose.

"Crap," she whispered hoarsely, wiping a bit of smeared mascara from her cheekbone.

"I bet my entire makeup is ruined now."

"It's not that bad." I assured her, rubbing my fingertips over her wrist.

"Are you okay, Rose?"

She shook her head and sighed deeply. For a long moment none of us spoke a single word at all.

Somehow it was frightening and an unpleasant shiver of fear went down my spine.

"But I should be okay. I mean isn't it ridiculously stupid to let something torture you that happened such a long time ago."

I handed her a fresh tissue and took her hand in mine to rub small circles over the silver bracelets around her wrist.

"Tell me," I whispered, unsure if I really wanted to hear one single word of it.

**XxXxXxXxXxX**

"It was a week before my fifteenth birthday and today I know that I was nothing but a terrible naïve child with too big breasts back then. But at that time I felt like an adult woman who knew everything."

"I guess everyone is like that when you're fifteen." I mumbled, rubbing circles over her wrist. She had become so thin that I could feel her bones under the thin layer of skin.

"But I was…so terribly vain. I thought myself better than anyone else in my class just because I had won a few stupid teen modeling contests."

"I bet you were pretty back then."

"Yes, I was. At least from the outside but inside of me I was just shallow and insecure."

She sniffed and cleared her throat before she continued.

"I was desperate for any kind of attention because at home nobody really seemed to care about me. My parents were so concerned about Ali's weak heart and Edward...well Edward was just annoying little pain in the ass back then."

"Hmm,"

"And then Royce asked me to be his girlfriend and I was thrilled. He bought a rose for me on every single day for an entire month, telling me over and over again that I was the only thing on earth that could compare to their beauty. He was a slimy dazzler and I'm sure that if I had met him just a few years later I wouldn't have given him the light of the day. But back then…things were different. I was young and I was in love with the idea of love."

"Rose…,"

"On the day it happened I had snugged him into the house after dark, knowing that my parents wouldn't be home that night."

"What happened? What did he do to you?"

"You have to understand that everything that happened between me and Royce during that night was my fault. I was the one who invited him over. I was the one who promised him that we would finally do it that night."

"He…he…forced himself on you?" I whispered hoarsely, my own voice trembling slightly in my ears.

"It wasn't like that." she mumbled towards the ground.

"I…kind of encouraged him. I kissed him and rubbed myself against him while I was straddling him. It was fun and in a weird way it made me feel like a real woman. God, I was so fucking stupid back then."

She sniffed and wiped her running nose on the sleeve of her blouse, not even bothering to use the tissue now.

"I told him to stop, that I needed more time and he got so pissed at me. He told me that I was a provoking slut and…and."

"It's not your fault." I mumbled wrapping my arms around her shoulder to pull her closer to me.

"That's what Jasmine keeps telling me too but I know better. I didn't even scream for help that night. I just lay there and let him do it to me, like I was some lifeless doll. Thanks god the whole thing was over soon."

"That doesn't make it your fault, Rose. He could have stopped when you told him no. He had a choice; a man always has a choice."

"Whatever. Like I told you before, it shouldn't matter to me that much anymore. It was such a long time ago."

"Does Emmett know?"

"Of course not," her voice raised two octaves.

"He wouldn't understand. Please, Bella, you have to promise me not to tell him. I couldn't bear the thought of him knowing about these things."

**XxXxXxXxXxX**

"Babe? Are you and Bella still out there?"

She cringed slightly when she heard his voice behind her and quickly stood up from the ground, wiping away a bit of dirt from her backside.

"Can we go home now? I'm really tired."

He put his arms around her and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"That's because you keep starving yourself. Why in heavens name did you start with this diet crap at all?"

"I don't really know," she whispered leaning her head against his shoulder.

I told them goodbye, thankful for the dull light on the porch. It would probably manage to cover the tensed expression on my face.

When I walked back into the house I took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down again.

"Bella? Are you feeling sick?" Stefan asked me worriedly when I sat down on my chair again. My hands were trembling and I quickly tried to hide them under the table.

"Just a bit dizzy," I mumbled halfheartedly.

"Maybe you should lay down a bit. The pregnancy doesn't seem to have a very good influence on your health."

"Hmm,"

Angela's eyes met mine and for a split second I wondered if it would be a good idea to wait a few more days to tell her husband. She was so insecure herself about her pregnancy.

Nervously I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Stefan, there is something that Ela and I need to tell you about."

"Please tell me that Benjamin didn't do anything stupid again. Jeez, that boy is still such a child."

"It hasn't got anything to do with Benjamin." Angela stated, her hands instantly running down her upper body to place them right underneath her belly button.

"Or, no, that's not right; it has to do with him…at least a tiny bit. Do you think we can convince him to move out?"

"What for?"

"You might need his room for someone else." I stumbled out nervously.

"For whom?" he asked back, raising one eyebrow.

Angela gasped for air and a single tear rolled down her cheek a few heartbeats later. Stefan kneeled down next to her and cupped her face in his hand.

"I'm so sorry and I swear that I didn't do it on purpose."

"Do what on purpose?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Like…having a baby pregnant?" he stammered out after a few awkward moments of silence.

"How many other kinds of pregnant do you know? God, this is such a disaster."

She burst out into tears and sobbed against his shoulder for a while until she finally managed to pull back enough to wipe her running nose on the back of her hand.

"We're going to have a baby?" he whispered, circling his thumb over her cheekbones to wipe away a few of the remaining tears.

"I'm afraid we are."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her trembling lips for a moment.

"Don't be afraid. This is something good, it's like miracle that it is happening to us and we should be happy for being blessed like that."


	105. Chapter 105

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to SM

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of **WTHN**. We're nearing the end of this story and I'm grateful for all of you who take the time reading and reviewing my little soap aka fan-fiction.

This chapter here is dedicated to **Koona**. Hope you'll enjoy.

****Chapter 105****

_Ali's POV_

It was ridiculous to feel that kind of lonely when you were surrounded by so many people and yet I couldn't fight the painful longing inside of me. I missed Bella so desperately that every single second of time seemed to pass much too slowly.

"Ali, do you think we should buy pink or magenta for the scarfs?" Didyme asked me, writing down some notes on a tablet.

"Scarfs?" I repeated like a stupid parrot.

She chuckled slightly and twisted her hair that was now dyed into its previous reddish color into a knot at the back of her head.

"You are not really here with me are you?"

"I'm sorry," I stumbled out, pinching the skin on my wrist in an attempt to force me to concentrate on what I was doing right now.

"What do you want to know?"

"Firstly I need to know in which color you want to order the silk fabric for the scarfs and secondly…,"

Her voice turned suddenly a lot warmer when she continued.

"I would like to know if everything is alright with you. You seem to be terribly tensed all the time."

"It's nothing." I whispered, taking the pattern of cloth from the table in front of me in my hands to make a choice about the color.

"Ali, you can tell me if something is bothering you."

"But it's stupid." I confessed after a few awkward moments of silence.

"I miss home."

"You're lucky," Didyme stated, sipping on the glass of red wine in her left hand.

"Why?"

"You have someone waiting for you at home that you want to return to." There was a desperate longing in her voice that almost managed to bring tears to my eyes.

"Which color would you prefer?" I asked her, knowing that it would be a good idea to implicate her as much possible in the whole process.

"I don't really know. Maybe we should let the photographer make a few shots just to see how everything looks on skin."

I nodded my head and tried to force my mouth into a faked smile. It wasn't that I was looking forward to spend any time with James..

XXXX

"Sexy, aren't they?" James whispered, licking his lips greedily when he showed me the first pictures he had shot an hour ago. I had to admit that he was actually good at what he was doing behind the camera, not that it meant I would suggest working together with him permanently. James Hunter was firstly and above all a perverted asshole.

"The pictures are okay." I mumbled taking one of the photos in my hands to get a closer look at it.

"Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" he asked suddenly, taking a step towards me. He wasn't very tall for a man but compared to my dwarf-like size he still seemed like a giant.

"Definitely not, James,"

"Why? Have you given up on eating all together like the models Didyme hired for the trip?"

"I do eat. I just don't want to have dinner with you."

"It's not that easy, trying to be nice to you, Ali." He mumbled, grabbing another tripod from the desk in front of him. For a split second his fingertips touched the bare skin on my forearm and I instantly shrugged back.

"Don't touch me!"

"Calm down. There is no need to be so ridiculously prudish."

"Why in heaven's name is it so difficult for you to accept a no?" I snarled at him, quickly standing up from the edge of the leather couch I had been sitting on.

"Like I told you before, Ali, I wasn't kidding when I told you that I like a passionate woman that is challenging me before she surrenders to my…charm."

"James, me surrendering to you is not going to happen until the day the fire of hell freezes to ice."

"That day may come way sooner than you think it will."

"Leave me alone. You're disgusting me. How can you manage to look into the mirror without throwing up at the sight of your reflection?"

He chuckled and twisted a wisp of his dirty blond ponytail around his fingertip.

"Are you so bitchy to m-e because you're still jealous that Vic chose me over you or is it that you have a problem with men in general? Did someone touch you immorally when you were a little girl?"

"You are…such a…damn it, there is no word that is evil enough for you."

I raised my hand and for a split second I wondered if it would make me feel better to see a trail of blood running down his scruffy chin.

"Vic still likes to talk about you a lot, usually when we're getting on it…," He whispered, running his thumb over his lower lip at the memory.

"I don't give a shit what your wife does or doesn't like to talk about."

XXXX

The hotel Didyme had chosen for us to stay in was beautiful and although the thought that one night inside here would probably cost way more than I earned in a month was somehow intimidating I enjoyed being surrounded by so much luxury.

Tiredly I kicked off my heels and cuddled into the pleasantly cold blankets on the bed. How much Bella would have loved this room…

The phone that was standing next to the bed started ringing and I almost managed to fall down on the ground when I grabbed the receiver.

"Hello?"

"I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"Bella! Oh god, it's so good to hear you voice."

"You sound tired. Didyme isn't making you work too hard is she?"

"It's okay, you don't have to worry." I assured her, lying back against the fluffy pillows.

"What are you doing right now?" she asked me and I heard the dog barking somewhere in the background.

"Getting ready to go to sleep, when I manage to bring up the energy to remove my make-up, it's not good for the skin to leave it on during the night."

"Let me guess, that's something Rosalie told you, isn't it?"

"Hmm,"

"I miss you, honey."

"Oh Bella, I miss you too, so much it hurts."

I sniffed and took deep breaths though my parted lips in an attempt to hold back the tears. It wasn't really working and a few moments later the first teardrops rolled down my face.

"Are you crying?" her voice sounded horrified now.

"No..," I croaked out hoarsely, wiping my running nose on the back of my hand.

"You've lied better before. That must be me rubbing off on you."

"I'm sorry. I know it's stupid to cry but I feel so alone without you by my side."

"I miss you too and I feel bad when I know that you are so miserable over there."

"Tell me you love me," I whispered, trying to keep more tears from falling. It wasn't good to get her so worried about me.

"I love you, Ali and I'm counting the hours till I can hold you in my arms again."

"I love you too. Next time I'm going on a trip like that I'm definitely insisting on you coming with me. You would love it here. Milan is so beautiful."

"You are beautiful. I really hope the little nudger is going to come after you."

"Can you do me a favor and hold the receiver to you belly for a moment?"

"Hmm,"

"Hi little baby," I whispered, make my voice sound cheerful and light.

"You have to do me a favor and take care of your mommy for me until momma comes back. Will you?"

Something gurgled in the background and I wondered if that actually was the baby, or probably Bella's stomach that was growling again.

"Do you want to talk to me again now?" Bella asked me after a few moments and I quickly nodded my head.

"Ali?"

"Sorry, I'm really tired. I don't sleep very well when you're not snoring next to me."

"When you come back to Seattle you can sleep for an entire day if you want to…although…,"

"Although what?" I asked her, having noticed the warm vibrant tone in her beautiful voice.

"I'm not sure whether I'm going to let you sleep at all when you come back. There are so many lovely things that I want to do."

"Do you miss me touching you?"

"Hmm,"

"Say it."

"Ali, I can't. I'm not that good with words when it comes to talking about sex."

My free hand moved down my stomach and circled over the flat skin for a moment until pulled my shirt up and rolled my thumb over the sensitive peaks of my breast.

"It's not that difficult. Try to image me being there with you. Where do you want me to touch you now?"

"On my breasts," she whispered so low that her voice was barely audible.

"I love touching them. They feel so warm and soft against my palms when I cup them in them. Can you, do me a favor and massage them for me?"

There was the rustling of clothes being removed far too quickly before I heard her moan lowly into the receiver.

"I can't believe that I'm actually doing this. It's so…so,"

"Arousing, isn't it? Move your thumbs over your nipples, make them hard for me."

"God, Ali, they are so fucking sensitive right now. I really wished that I could feel the tip of your tongue swirling over them."

"I'm going to do that when I come back to you but right now…I want you to wet your thumb and your forefinger and roll the hard nubs between them."

"I want to touch you so badly." she murmured, her breath coming out raggedly.

"Where? Do you want me to touch my breasts too?"

"Yes," she groaned and the husky sound of her voice sent a pleasant shiver of lust down my spine.

I pinched my nipples and imagined her warm mouth closing around the hardened tips, sucking it hungrily before grazing it gently with her front teeth.

"Move your hand between your legs,"

I obeyed instantly; thrilled that she seemed to develop a liking in this special kind of conversation.

"If I were with you I would move my fingertips up and down over the thin material of you panties."

"Oh Bella," I moaned into the phone, when I gently circled my fingers over the already damp fabric.

"Shove them down your legs. I want you completely bare down there so that I can caress every inch of your slick folds with my hand."

A low whimper left my throat when I dipped my fingers into my essence before I gently circled my coated fingertips over the throbbing pearl of my clit.

"I want to feel your tongue against my overheated flesh so badly. No one has ever managed to make me feel the way you do."

"Touch yourself for me, honey. Part your inner lips with two fingers and tell me how wet you are for me."

"So wet," her voice was nothing but a husky tremble and I felt the muscles in my stomach tightening almost painfully when I increased the tempo my thumb circled over my clit.

"Thinking about your tender tongue between my legs makes me so…so…oh god, Ali…I'm going to…oh Ali…,"

I shoved two fingers inside of me and curled them upwards as I breathlessly listened to the moaning and whimpering on the other side of the phone. God, how much I wished I could watch her face right now. Next time, I thought while my inner walls clenched and unclenched around my pumping fingers. Next time she'll feel that way you'll be with her again.

XOXXOXXXOXOXO

[A/N] I really would like to get some feedback on the phone-sex part. Did I do okay? That was the first time I wrote a lemon like that.

Until next time, take care ;-)


	106. Chapter 106

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] *hides nervously behind her laptop*

It's sad but true, this chapter is going to be the last one for **WTHN**. Everything has to end and although the idea is pretty tempting to drag things out until…well maybe until Lilly has finished High School, I feel like the girls deserve their little happily ever after now.

****Chapter 106****

I cringed slightly when I saw the reflection in the mirror staring back at me.

Like a fucking whale ready to explode, I thought sourly, running my hands over the rounded middle. The baby kicked against my fingers and somehow although I found myself clearly way too big I was still thrilled about the reason why I was looking this way right now.

"Just two more weeks, little nudger," I whispered softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. My feet although I hadn't seen much of them in the last month were so swollen that every single step on them hurt like crap.

A knock on the bedroom door made me cringe slightly and when Benjamin stuck his head inside I felt like throwing something against his head.

"Are you planning on going to Ali's fashion show like that? Or are you going to get dressed properly?"

"It's impossible to get dressed properly, if you have boobs that could get their own postal code and an ass the size of a small country."

He chuckled and sat down next to on the bed.

"I think that my sister likes your boobs a great deal the way they are now."

"Thanks, now I feel better, but to come back to appropriate clothes for attending the fashion show…,"

"None of the stuff you have inside your closet is going to work. Your taste in clothes is horrible and it's a shame that Ali's great sense of that isn't rubbing off on you one tiny bit."

"I'm going to embarrass her when I show up there looking like crap. Maybe I shouldn't go there at all."

"You're definitely going there. It would break my sister's heart if you didn't show up there. She worked her ass off in the last weeks to get everything going."

"I know," I mumbled, taking a deep breath while I tried to ignore the throbbing pain in my lower back. It would probably go away if I just tried hard enough to ignore it.

"This whole fashion thing means so much to her and on the other hand she's with me…and I don't belong into this world."

"But you belong with her," he stated, loosening the purple colored tie around his neck a bit.

The doorbell rang downstairs and he volunteered to go down and open it for me.

When he returned a few moments later he was holding a huge box in his hands.

"What's that? Did your father order something for the baby again without telling us?"

He smirked and shook his head.

"I'm going to pick up Ela and my dad now. Do me a favor and try to be dressed when I return here."

"It's not that easy getting dressed when you have nothing to wear." I stated, pressing my hand against my spine. Crap, why didn't the pain go away?

He walked out of the room and I closed my eyes for a moment, trying my best to ignore the unpleasant cramps inside of me.

My eyes caught the small cream-colored envelope that was adjusted on top of the box. Quickly I flipped it open to read the note that was written inside of it.

_Bella,_

_The dress inside the box is the best thing I've ever designed and I want no one else to wear it for me than you._

_Thank you for believing in me, in us_

_Always yours, _

_Ali_

XXXX

"Jeez, how many people are here?" Jasmine asked Zafrina who was nibbling on a tiny little piece of cracker with some black crumbly stuff on it that smelled disgustingly of fish.

"About a hundred, I guess. Didyme invited everyone she knows or wants to know and that's quite a handful."

"Hmm,"

I hadn't seen Ali yet, she was still too busy trying to fix the rest of the clothes on the models who were going to present them later on.

"Miss Penthes! Such a pleasure to see you here," A brown-haired, middle aged woman whose wrinkle-less face didn't exactly match her hands greeted her cheerfully.

"The pleasure is on my side. Are you enjoying the show so far?"

"It's lovely. Enjoy the evening." She whispered before she turned around and disappeared in the crowd.

"Who was that?" Jasmine asked her, running her fingertips up and down the exposed skin on her girlfriend's neck.

"Just a client,"

"She seemed to like you."

"Most of all she likes the monthly $ 6000 I made her ex-husband sent to her house for the last twenty years."

I leaned back against a wall behind me, and the cold felt pleasantly smoothing on my aching back. Damn it; why, in heaven's name, didn't that stop?

"Are you okay, Bella?" Zafrina asked me worriedly, when I slowly sat down on the ground, my knees suddenly feeling too weak to remain standing.

"It's okay, just a bit dizzy that's all."

"You've still not learned how to tell a proper lie, Bella." Jasmine stated, kneeling down next to me to check my pulse.

"I could search for Carlisle and let him take a look at you." Zafrina suggested sitting down in front of me with a worried expression on her face.

"No, please, don't do that. I don't want to ruin the evening for Ali. She has worked so hard for this."

"Kay, if that's what you want. Maybe we should just sit here for a while until your _dizziness_ gets better."

"Hmm,"

I took a few deep breaths and after a couple of minutes the painful cramps seemed to disappear almost completely.

"I wouldn't want to divorce you, gorgeous." Jasmine mumbled, twisting a curl of her honey-blonde hair around her fingers.

"That seems like a guaranty to a financial disaster."

"I only make sure my clients get what they deserve and just for the record, Miss Whitlock; you have to get married first before you can get divorced."

"Okay, just in theory, if I asked you to marry me would you say yes to that?"

"In theory…no, definitely not,"

"Why? Don't you love me enough?"

"I said in theory, cowgirl. And what kind of crappy proposal is this supposed to be anyway? Where are the flowers and the tiny turquoise box from Tiffany's?"

Jasmine chuckled and planted a kiss on Zafrina's mouth.

"What are you doing down there?" Angela asked me, when she and Benjamin were standing directly in front of me.

"We're protesting against the exploitation of women in the fashion industry," Jasmine stated, forcing her face to remain a calm mask. It didn't really work and a heartbeat later she burst out into laughter.

Slowly I stood from the ground again and a sharp pain, much stronger than the previous ones went through my entire lower body. Something wet poured down my inner thighs, landing on a small puddle right underneath me.

"Crap," I croaked, trying my best to catch my breath again.

Angela wrapped one arm around my shoulder and helped me to remain standing.

"Benjamin, get Carlisle here as soon as you can." she instructed while Zafrina and Jasmine exchanged a worried look that didn't make me feel one tiny bit better.

"Crap, crap, crap. Why did this have to happen today? Couldn't it wait up until…tomorrow at least?"

"I'm not an expert, but I don't think you can plan those kinds of things exactly." Zafrina stated, making me sit down on the ground again.

"Isn't it better if she keeps standing?" Jasmine asked her, nibbling nervously on her lower lip.

"Isn't it better if people who have zero clues about birthing babies keep their suggestions to themselves?" Angela mumbled, kneeling down next to me on the ground.

"Ali," I whispered so low that my voice was barely audible.

"I need Ali."

Jasmine disappeared through a small door at the other end of the wall and I inhaled sharply through my teeth when a fresh wave of pain rushed through me.

"Bella, are you okay?" Carlisle's voice made me look up and I forced my mouth into the weak attempt of a smile.

"It hurts," I murmured towards the ground.

"I've heard that's normal, so no need to worry. We should bring you to the hospital now unlike you prefer giving birth to the baby right here."

"Home," I stumbled out.

"We want a homebirth. I hate hospitals."

He chuckled and wrapped his hand around my wrist in order to check my pulse.

"In which time-lag are they coming?"

"I don't know. It feels like…the pain is there all the time."

"Hmm,"

Another cramp went through me, making my legs tremble for several moments until it finally subsided a tiny bit.

"Bella! Oh, Bella, honey I'm here now!" Ali called out, wrapping her arms around me tightly that I couldn't breathe for a moment.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered exhausted, while she started planting several kisses all over my knuckles.

"I ruined your event and on top of all I ruined the beautiful dress you made for me when my waters broke."

She shook her head and cupped my face between her dainty hands to nudge her lips against the tip of my nose.

"Don't worry. Didyme says that the clothes are practically going to sell themselves and as for your ruined dress. I promise to make you a new one, lots of new ones, but at first we should probably bring the little nudger into this world."

XXXX

I squeezed the fingers of her hand so tightly that I wondered if I could accidentally break them with that. Damn it, it still hurt like crap and it was getting difficult for me to keep up the cheerful expression on my face. If I screamed now, it would definitely frighten my beautiful wife who was sitting on the edge of my hospital bed.

"Do you want some more ice?" she asked me, wiping my sweaty forehead with a wet towel before she stared kneading the tensed muscles in my shoulders.

"Unless there is some morphine or any kind of other painkiller frozen in those ice cubs, I'm not interested."

"How are we doing?" Dr. O'Hara greeted me cheerfully when she entered the room.

"Can you give her something against the pain? She's trying to keep up a brave face for me but I know that she's hurting."

"Hmm,"

She parted my legs and examined me silently for a few moments before she raised her head again.

"It's too late to give her anything now. The baby would probably be born before it would start to show any kind of effect."

I took a deep breath and tried to hold back tears from rolling down my cheeks.

"Mrs. Swan, if I tell you to start pushing, you'll do it; looks, like the baby is a bit impatiently to be born."

Ali sat down behind me and twisted my damp hair into a messy knot before she planted a kiss on the overheated skin of my neck.

"We're going to have a baby," she whispered, pulling me against her body.

Slowly I turned my head to her and kissed her mouth very lightly.

"I know, isn't that like a little miracle?"

"Better, miracles don't happen in real life but this does and I'm so…so,"

"Now, Mrs. Swan, try to push as hard as you can."

I obeyed instantly but stopped abruptly when a sharp pain rushed through me, stronger than any of the others I had felt during the last hours.

"Again," Dr. O'Hara instructed calmly.

"I can't," I whispered, feeling the tears starting to burn in the corners of my eyes.

"Oh you can, Bella. Everything will soon be over and then we'll finally have our little baby girl here with us."

I nodded my head, unable to bring out any reasonable words now and pushed again. Once, twice, a third time, after that I stopped counting.

How long could this last? Was that normal to take this long or did this mean I was having complications? A short memory of Lilly's emergency caesarian birth came to my mind, sending an instant shiver of fear down my spine.

Someone whimpered and groaned and it took me a few moments to realize that those sounds were coming out of my own mouth.

"One more time, honey, just one more time, I know you can do it."

I closed my eyes, feeling several fresh tears running down my cheekbones and then finally, finally a low scream reached my ear, followed by a second one much louder than the first and my eyes fell open.

The midwife cleaned the screaming newborn a bit before she wrapped the little girl in a fluffy pink blanket in order to hand her to me.

"No," I croaked out, my voice coming out like a hoarsely whisper.

"Give her to Ali first. She's her mother too."

The woman raised one eyebrow but did like I told her and placed the tiny infant in Ali's arms.

She sobbed and rested her cheek against my forehead for a moment before she turned her entire attention to the screaming little girl in front of her.

"Hi little baby, I'm your momma."

The baby stopped screaming and gurgled when Ali gently moved her fingertip over the damp curls on the baby's head.

"She has your hair," she stated happily, planting a kiss on my trembling lips.

"A pretty little girl," Dr. O'Hara murmured when she continued writing down some notes on a tablet.

"Have you already decided how you want to name her?"

I nodded my head and wrapped my arms around Ali's shoulder to pull her and the little one closer to me.

"Yes we have. Her name is going to be Zoe Grace."

"That's a pretty name."

She cleared her throat and checked my pulse for a last time.

"I give the three of you some privacy now."

And with that she was gone and for a long moment none of us spoke. It didn't seem necessary to us to fill the silence with words. Or maybe it was because we didn't have any words to express what we were feeling right now.

Ali planted a kiss on each of the tiny fingertips of our daughter before she handed the baby to me.

"Hi, little Zoe," I whispered, while the little hand closed around my forefinger with way more force than you would expect from such a tiny infant.

"Your momma and I we love you very much."

The tiny mouth opened, making her look a bit like a fish gasping for air.

"Such a hungry little thing, aren't you?" I mumbled when the lips closed around the tips of my breasts, the little forehead crimping because the baby had to concentrate so much on what she was doing.

Ali wrapped her arms around me from behind and caressed the bare skin on my neck with her dainty fingertips until I turned my head and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

"Thank you," she mumbled her voice thick with tears.

"For her…for you…for all the good things that you brought into my life; I love you so much."

I kissed her mouth again, tasting the saltiness of tears on the tip of my tongue without knowing which one of us had started crying.

"Everything," I whispered, feeling myself drowning once again in the beauty of her caramel eyes.

"You are everything to me, Ali. Everything my heart will ever need."

**XOXOXOXOXXOXOXO**

[A/N] I'll never be able to thank all those of you who never stopped encouraging me to continue with this story. You're honestly the nicest readers a writer could ever wish for.

I'm off now to cry over my finished baby here. It means more to me than I could ever tell.

Hugs and kisses to you,

MyTwiDreams


	107. Epilogue

[Disclaimer] Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight but Lilly is all mine

[A/N] It's so hard to say goodbye to something that you love so much and I've cried so much in the last week that some people asked me if someone died.

**WTHN** will always have a special place in my heart and I don't know if any other story I'm going to write will ever be loved like this.

Hugs and kisses to all my lovely readers out there. Hope you'll enjoy this little glimpse into the future. I really enjoyed writing it a lot.

****Epilogue****

_Lilly_

I closed my mouth around the tiny piece of grapefruit and tried my best to ignore the disgusting bitterly aftertaste it left on my tongue.

It's not supposed to taste good, I reminded myself. You're just eating this yucky stuff in order to get rid of your fat ass.

The dog whimpered and when I turned my head in his direction I realized that he looked completely miserable. Slowly I stood up from my chair and kneeled down next to him on the kitchen ground.

My fingertips moved over the fluffy, russet colored fur and a low purring noise escaped his throat before he nudged his snout against my cheek.

"No," I whispered.

"We can't go to the park now. Have you forgotten that I'm still grounded?"

He whined again and I opened the kitchen door for him to let him out in the garden.

Two gone, two more to go, I thought exasperated when my eyes caught the calendar hanging on the wall.

"So, not fair of them to ruin my summer holidays like that." I mumbled, rubbing my fingertips over the tiny tattoo on my left wrist that had led to me spending an entire month inside the house like a fucking prisoner.

Mom had flipped when she had discovered it and Momma had like usually taken her side although I knew that she didn't really mind it at all.

At least, that's what she should do. I know that Momma has a tattoo herself and hers like…ten times the size of mine.

I poured myself a glass of diet coke and emptied it in one big gulp, placing the glass on the kitchen counter when the phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"Did I reach the reformatory?"

"You're such an asshole, Alec."

"Hello to you to, Lilly. I can't believe you really stayed home today too although your folks were out the entire day. God how chicken, are you?"

I growled and felt my cheeks turning warm from anger.

"How nice that you've finally remembered calling your girlfriend,"

"I have a social life too that needs my attention, baby, but now I'm all yours."

For Alec having a social life means hanging around at one of his shit-headed friends' places and play videogames.

"Do you want to go to Derek's party with me tonight?"

"Alec, which part of me being grounded is too complicated for you to grasp?"

"Oh come on, Lilly, just sneak out of your window. It's not like you haven't done it before."

"I don't need any more trouble with my mothers' than I already have."

"Kay, if you prefer me going there on my own…,"

"Alec…,"

"Yeah, I know. Oh, did I already tell you that my annoying sister is back from Italy again. It seems like she and Trish had a pretty good time over there."

Something cramped painfully around my heart and for a moment I wondered what was causing it.

"Are you still there?"

"Hmm,"

"Look, I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have mentioned my sister. The two of you are still bitchy with each other, aren't you?"

I didn't have the nerves to discuss my Jane problem with him, because I knew that he was secretly thrilled that his sister hasn't spoken one single word with me since she caught me and him kissing behind the gym three months ago.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't bring myself to understand why she was so terribly pissed at me for dating her brother. It's like she's jealous although that would be completely ridiculous of course.

Jane is the one who suddenly stopped having time for me because she needed to turn her entire attention to her new _girlfriend_. I had tried my best to be nice to this unspeakable excuse of a woman but the truth is that I can't stand Trish no matter what. She's not good enough for Jane and I wonder what the hell she's seeing in her that draws her in…

"You're not crying again, are you?" Alec asked after a few awkward moments of silence.

"No, I'm not. Look, I'll try to convince my mothers' to let me go tonight but I can't promise you anything."

"Fine, let's talk later then. Bye. I love you, baby."

"Ditto,"

I hung up and took a deep breathe through my nose when I heard the key turning around in the lock.

"Lilly!"

My little sister rushed into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh Lilly, you should have come with us to the zoo. They have new ice bear babies and they are so cute."

Her light brown eyes started sparking when she started telling me every tiny detail about the animals she had seen today.

"Hi Lilly, how was your day?" Mom asked me when she and Momma entered the kitchen hand in hand.

"Long and boring," I stated, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"Do you want to have some milk?" I asked Zoe when I poured myself another glass of diet coke.

"Yes, please. Do we have cocoa too?"

I nodded my head and sipped slowly on my own sugar-free drink.

"You know why we grounded you, do you?" Mom asked me hesitantly after sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"Because you are pissed at me for getting the tattoo,"

"We're not punishing you for the tattoo but for getting it done behind our backs with a faked ID on top of it."

"It's my body and I can do with it as it pleases me."

"Lilly, we're not going to have this discussion again. What you did was wrong –point."

"I like Lilly's tattoo. It's pretty." Zoe mumbled while she nibbled on a candy bar she had pulled out of her backpack.

My stomach growled like a hungry wolf and I cursed myself for being so terribly inconsequent when it came to my eating habits.

I've inherited my temper from my father and my fat ass from my mother. Guess my life would be way easier if it were the other way round.

Nervously I cleared my throat before I spoke up again, turning my attention directly to Momma because she was the softer-hearted one of them.

"Can I go to Derek's party with Alec tonight?"

"Since when does being grounded contain attending parties outside the house?"

"Oh please, I really want to go. Everyone is going and you're going to make me a social pariah if you forbid me to attend it."

"No, you're not going and that's my last word."

"But I want to go! I need to go! Alec will be pissed at me if I don't show up."

"Lower your voice, Lilly. Your mother said no and she's right doing so."

"You can stay here with me and Cara if you want to, Lilly. We're going to have a slumber party."

Great, can you sink any lower than to spend a Friday night together with your little sister and her friend watching stupid Disney movies?

The doorbell rang and I went to open it, while I tried to figure out if it would increase my chances to go to the party if I started crying in front of everyone again.

"Hi Lilly, how's it going?" Stefan greeted me cheerfully while Cara behind him waved her hand shyly at me.

"Not that good. My mothers have a sadistic fun of ruining the best years of my life."

He smirked and grabbed Cara's stuff when he followed me into the kitchen.

"Grandpa!"

"Hi Zoe, your sister doesn't seem to be in a very good mood today."

"She's angry because mom won't let her go to a party tonight."

"Oh, I see."

He took my hand and turned it around to take a closer look at the tattoo that had caused all the trouble for me.

"So much drama about such a tiny tattoo,"

"Please, Stefan, convince them to let me go. It's really important to me to be there tonight."

"I don't know if that is going to work, Lilly."

"How are the wedding preparations going?" Momma asked him in an attempt to change the subject of our conversation.

"I've spoken to my brother on the phone last week but he and Seth still haven't made up their mind about the color scheme."

"The problem is that Benjamin's expectations and our financial possibilities aren't really compatible. I mean an ice sculpture. Who on earth needs an ice sculpture?"

XXXX

"I'm glad they let you go," Alec mumbled when he turned off the engine of the car.

He placed his hand on my knee and I instantly regretted having put on a skirt for the party.

"You look pretty, tonight." he whispered, moving his hand higher on my thigh in small circles.

"Stop that," I told him, grabbing my hand around his wrist to interlace the fingers of my hand with his.

The problem with Alec was that he was constantly trying to push my limits, no matter how often I told him that I was in no way ready for second base or third base or whatever kind of base. Still he can't stop with the fumbling all the time. It's so annoying.

Maybe the true problem was me and not him. When I was with Alec, I never knew how I was supposed to feel like.

When we stepped out of the car he kissed me and I waited for the legendary butterflies to swirl up in my stomach. It didn't happen. It never did.

Kissing Alec was basically nothing more than pressing my lips against his while he plugged his tongue so deep into my mouth that I almost choked on it.

"I love you, baby."

"Ditto,"

We entered the house and I realized that it was much too crowded inside there for my liking.

"I'll get us something to drink, baby." He stated, planting a wet kiss on the tip of my nose before he disappeared in the crowd.

"Oh hello, Lilly, nice to see you,"

I turned around and forced my lips into a faked smile when I saw Trish standing in front of me with her peaky arms around Jane's middle.

Jane was stunning tonight, like usually she had put on way more makeup than necessary but at her this smoky eye-thing looked…sexy somehow.

"How was Italy?" I asked Trish in an attempt to make some small talk.

"Lovely. Maybe you and Alec should come with us next summer. Shouldn't they, honey?"

Jane's mouth twitched for a moment before she cupped Trish's face between her hands and started kissing her passionately.

The painful cramping around my heart came back with so much force that I had to lean back against the wall behind me to remain standing. It hurt me so much that she was still ignoring me so completely. Jane has been the most important person in my life for such a long time and I couldn't, I didn't want to image my future without her being part of it.

"Are you finished watching my dyke sister and her boy…girlfriend making out?"

I cringed and took one of the filled plastic cups from him to take a sip from my coke.

"Yuck, what in heaven's name is this supposed to be?"

He grinned and leaned over to whisper into my ear.

"That's whisky. Isn't that cool, baby? Derek managed to steal some from his father's supply."

"Hmm,"

Hesitantly I took another sip and realized that it still tasted like crap.

"I don't think I like it that much." I mumbled, sitting down on his lap in a corner of the room.

"You look so pretty tonight, baby." he murmured while his tongue swirled over the shell of my ear. What the point is in this slobbering on my ear thing is beyond me but I let him do it because he obviously seems to like it a great deal.

His hands moved down my spine until his fingertips reached the roundness of my ass and I quickly stood up from his lap again.

"Stop that ass fumbling. I can't stand that."

"Oh baby, don't be like that and come back. I promise not to touch your backside again if it makes you feel uncomfortable."

The coke with the whisky wasn't really having a good effect on my empty stomach and I felt my knees starting to tremble slightly.

"Are you feeling dizzy?" Alec asked me worriedly, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"A bit," I whispered while he led me to a small room at the other side of the apartment to make me sit down on the edge of a small bed.

"Maybe you should lie down for a few minutes."

I leaned back against some scratchy pillows and closed my eyes for a moment.

He kissed me again and I caressed his short cropped hair with my fingertips.

"Lilly, I love you." he mumbled, cuddling against my side so that I could feel him getting hard against my hipbone.

"Baby, I want you so much. Please don't make me wait any longer."

With that he rolled on top of me and started grinding his lower body against mine. For a moment I was too shocked to speak and he obviously misinterpreted that as a silent agreement.

"Oh, yes baby…,"

He opened the buttons of my blouse and I grabbed his head when I felt him kissing the top of my breasts.

"No,"

"Don't be such a prude, Lilly. We've been dating for over three months now and you've left me high and dry the entire time. Please, baby, I want you…,"

I sighed deeply and tried to sit up again what was difficult with him still on top of me.

"Let me go."

"Oh baby, don't be mad at me now. I know how to make you feel good."

His hand moved between my legs and a shiver of fear went down my spine.

"Let me go, Alec. I'm not ready…,"

His mouth was on mine before I could finish the sentence and the next thing I heard was him fumbling around on his belt.

"No,"

"Oh come on, baby, try to relax a bit. You're going to enjoy this as much as me."

"No, Alec. I don't want this. Please let me go."

"If you truly loved me you'd let me do it."

"Fine, so that means I don't love you. Now let me go before I start screaming."

"You stupid bitch, who the hell do you think you are?"

Suddenly his body was shoved off of mine and I rolled into a ball while tears started falling down my cheeks.

My entire body started trembling and I couldn't manage to calm myself down again no matter how hard I tried.

Then I felt a dainty hand on my quivering shoulder and raised my head again to blink into Jane's angry face.

"Everything is going to be okay, Lilly. I won't let him hurt you." she whispered into my ear while she started rubbing circles up and down my spine.

"Piss off, Jane. This is none of your damn business."

"Don't tell me, what's my business, you little piece of shit. The only reason why I'm not going to kill you now is because it would probably upset our mother. But if you ever dare to put one of your filthy fingers on Lilly again, I'm going to cut off your two inch dick and shove it up your ass."

XXXX

"Are you feeling a bit better now?" she asked me when she parked the car in front of a drive thru.

I nodded my head and sighed deeply taking a small sip from the milkshake she had ordered for me.

It's chocolate and after all the fruit and veggie crap I forced myself to eat in the last week the sweet taste of chocolate made me experience an almost orgasmic-like feeling on my tongue. Not that I have any clue how an actual orgasm feels like and it doesn't look like I'm going to learn about that any time soon.

Fucking asshole…

"Lilly?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you feeling a bit better now? You're still so pale."

"Yes, I'm good. Can you bring me home now? You probably want to go back to the party anyway."

"I don't give a shit about the stupid party."

"What about your girlfriend?" I asked her, checking my reflection in the review mirror. God, I looked horrible. My entire makeup was smeared around my eyes.

"Ex-girlfriend and just for the record, I don't give a shit about her too."

"You…she…the two of you broke off?"

"Yes, we did."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I mumbled, knowing that my voice probably not sounded that sorry at all.

"Don't have to be. Trish and me that was never meant to be; she's the most boring person ever and then this stupid issue that she has with eating. No carbs after four p.m. What kind of bullshit is that supposed to be?"

"At least she's skinny. If I had a tiny bit more discipline...,"

"You don't need to lose weight, you're pretty the way you are."

I shook my head and sighed deeply.

"Did my brother tell you that you should diet?"

"No, he didn't. I don't need him to tell me that I'm fat."

"Lilly, stop saying stuff like that, what you call fat are curves that a lot of other women would kill for."

"I don't think so."

"Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? You're pretty, you're smart and you got no reason to have any complexes."

I turned my head to the side and wiped away a few tears from the corner of my eyes.

"Are you crying now?" her voice sounded horrified.

"N…o…,"

"Shhh, come here, _gioia_."

She pulled me closer and started caressing my hair with her fingertips.

"Your hair is so beautiful. It feels like silk."

"And looks like carrots."

"I'm getting you a book for your sixteenth birthday next month; compliments and acceptable ways of reacting to them."

I laughed and that sound coming from my own mouth surprised me so much that I almost choked on my milkshake.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, Lilly. More than I can tell you."

"If you did, you had a rather strange way of showing it. God, you didn't even talk to me in the last months."

"I'm sorry about that. It was stupid and childish of me. It's not your fault that you don't feel…,"

She stopped abruptly and leaned forward to search for something in her handbag.

"Here, I've found this the other day and wanted to show it to you."

I took the wrinkled Polaroid picture from her and looked down at the two tiny girls with the Halloween costumes, me with the inevitable princess tiara and Jane with a black hat and a cape trying to look like an evil little witch.

"Cute. Life was a lot easier back then."

"Yes it was."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"Were you really in love with Trish?"

"Were you in love with my stupid brother?"

"I don't know." I whispered, staring down on the tattoo on my wrist.

"I do. I wasn't in love with her. She's just…well, I shouldn't say something like that but she was just a makeshift for me because…,"

"Because what?"

"Because the girl I really wanted to be with is off limits."

"It's not Zafrina is it?"

"Mrs. Whitlock? What makes you think that? She's like…forty or something like that. It would be totally gross. I'm just working at her office because I think it's a good preparation for law school."

"Hmm,"

"Is it someone from our school?" I asked her, twisting my hair into a messy knot at the back of my head.

"Yes it is. Are you finished with your questioning?"

"Why won't you tell me who it is? You know that I'm good at keeping secrets."

She took my hand in hers and caressed the delicate pink flower on my wrist with her fingertips.

"Did that hurt much?"

"Not really. The tantrum my mother made when she discovered it was worse."

"I can imagine that."

Her mouth twitched into a smile when she reached out her hand and wiped a tiny rest of the milkshake from the edge of my lower lip.

When her fingertip brushed against my skin a pleasant tingly feeling spread through my body, making me gasp for air in surprise.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have…it's just – "

She took a deep breath and cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"It's you. It always has been you and always will be. No matter if you'll ever return my feelings for you. I love you. God, I think that I already started loving you when you were still a little girl with braids."

My mouth is on hers before I have any time to think and maybe that's a good thing. Thinking has no room in this. Thinking is not supposed to have room in this.

Her lips started moving with mine, hesitantly at first, as if she's still trying to figure out if this was really happening and then suddenly she pulled me closer against her until I was almost sitting on her lap.

The tip of her tongue swirled over my lower lip until I parted my mouth a little and she gently nudged it against my mine.

Kissing her is nothing like kissing her brother. Jane isn't impatiently trying to shove her tongue into my mouth as deep as possible. She's so tender and her mouth feels so incredibly soft, so soft.

When she pulled back a few moments later I instantly wanted to kiss her again…and again…and again, until my lips were all red and swollen.

"Lilly, you don't have to do this."

"I know, but I want to."

I kissed her a second time, caressing the inside of her mouth with the tip of my tongue this time. She tasted sweet and a bit of those delicious almond cookies from her father's restaurant.

Most of all she tasted like Jane and with that I'm embracing all that the two of us were and all that we are going to be for each other once I'll manage to pull back from this kiss.

And I'm in love.


	108. Sequel  AN

[A/N] Hello everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that I've decided to start a sequel for this story called 'Lilly in Love'

Go and check it out if you are interested in reading more about Lilly, Jane and all the others we've grown to love in WTHN.

.net/s/7228093/1/#

Enjoy your day,

MyTwiDreams


	109. OUTTAKE: KISSES, MORE & A WEDDING

[Disclaimer] Last time I checked SM is still not offering to share her copyright of everything Twilight with me.

[A/N]

Hello everyone,

This is an outtake for #WTHN. I felt like writing this and so I did. Plot bunnies are evil little monsters. You all know how much I heart this story. It's probably my all-time favorite of everything I ever wrote or will write in the future. I don't feel very good about my writing at the moment but this story will always have a special place in my heart. Don't know if this is enjoyable to read for you, but I guess you'll find out.

This is set between the last chapter and the epilogue of my soap fiction, seven years after Zoe was born. Just to give you a little orientation.

***Kisses, More & A Wedding***

_Alice_

Many love stories tend to end with something like—they lived happily ever after. We are content with that, wiping away a few bashful tears from the corner of our eye while we never keep asking what happened to Sleeping Beauty after her Prince kissed her awake.

There are no love stories that deal with what happens after the sweet promise of forever. Maybe that's because we don't want to lose the romantic illusion we have about love. It's always about falling in love, finding the one, the right one and that's it. We all cherish that amazing feeling that you're getting when you kiss someone new for the very first time, exciting, earthshattering and all consuming. Stories tell nothing about how it feels like to kiss your lover for the hundredth time, for the thousandth time. Emotions like those are never part of any story, but that doesn't mean they are one tiny bit less intense.

It's easy to fall in love, natural somehow. Staying in love though is something you have to work for every single day of your relationship. Let me tell you, it's worth it though. Well, most of the times at least.

Sometimes it's incredibly difficult not to lose that feeling of _us_ while you're trying to deal with a teething infant who screams through the entire night. Kids are the biggest killer of romantic ever, no matter how much you've wished for them. Right now was exactly that kind of moment.

"Do I really have to come with you to Texas?" my twelve year old daughter asked me exasperated, nibbling on the filling of an Oreo cookie while I stirred around in the Chili con Carne that was cooking on the stove.

Bella cleared her throat and sighed deeply.

"Lilly, how many times are you going to bring that up again? We said, you're going with us and you are."

"But I don't want to. There'll be just old people like you and little kids like Zoe hanging around at the wedding. Can't I stay at Jane's place over the weekend?"

"No, you can't. End of conversation, young lady."

"But Jane's aunt gave her a new DVD player and a flat screen for her birthday."

Jane's aunt Didyme, who's also my boss at Volturi Inc. has a slight tendency to spoil her only niece a bit too much for my taste. When you have tons of money it's probably very tempting to make overly gracious gifts.

"I'm pretty sure that flat screen will be still working pretty fine once we come back from Texas."

"I don't want to go. Jasmine's parents live in the back of beyond. There is nothing but cows, bulls and some more cows on that Ranch. I bet my cell won't even work there."

"Whom would you have to call?"

"Jane, of course,"

"Aren't the two of you able to discuss whatever you think you need to discuss during the eight hours when you are in School?"

"They don't let us sit together anymore."

"That was probably a smart decision. We aren't really pleased about where your grades are heading at the moment."

Lilly growled and stuffed another Oreo cookie between her lips.

"Is it necessary to eat candy right now? We're about to have dinner in like ten minutes." Bella asked her, earning herself another growl from our full pubertal monster.

"Mind your own damn business!"

"Don't talk to me like that. I'm kind of tired of your behavior. You need to work on that temper of yours."

"I don't need you to tell me what to do! Everyone is picking on me the entire time. I fucking hate everything!"

She stood up from her chair so quickly that it fell down on the floor with a loud bang.

"Stay here! Where do you think you're going?"

Next thing we heard was how the door to her room was closed way harsher than it was good for it.

Bella's hands were quivering and I hugged her tightly from behind, nuzzling my face against her neck while my fingers stroked up her forearm in lazy circles.

"She's like him."

"No, she's not. She's at a difficult age right now. I'll talk to her later…when she's calmed down again."

I kissed the spot right underneath her earlobe and pulled her closer.

"Don't worry so much about Lilly. She'll be okay."

"I don't know why she's so hot-headed. It's like she's about to explode any second."

"Please, try to stop worrying so much. I'll talk to her."

XXXX

I loved sewing, it was so incredibly relaxing for me and somehow I was terribly sad that I rarely had time to do it anymore. Didyme wanted to me to focus on creating new designs and most of the stuff I was designing for Volturi Inc. was getting produced overseas these days.

"I don't know if this is right." Jasmine mumbled, putting the lace trail of her dress between her fingertips.

"What? Are you kidding me? We don't have enough time to change your dress again. I swear to god, if you make me put that trail off again, I'll kill you. It took me forever to sew all the tiny crystals into the fabric."

"It's not about the dress."

Good, I thought, standing up from the ground again.

"Don't tell me you are getting cold feet or something like that?"

"And if I did?"

"I would try to knock some sense into that thick scull of yours. Honestly, what has gotten into you? Zafrina loves you. How can you…,"

"I know that she loves me. The problem is me, just me."

My alarm went on and I walked over to the table to swallow my medication down with the rest of my apple juice. I already had the tiny jagged pill in my hand but then I hesitated and shoved it down my pocket. It was so very stupid what I was doing, dangerous even. Bella would sure as hell freak if she'd knew.

"Is everything okay with you?"

"Hmm, yes of course. Don't try to distract me. Why are having cold feet? It's not about the name thing again. Is it? Jeez, for all what is holy, Jazz, if the two of you can't decide on one name, just throw a coin or something like that."

"It's not about the name. She's going to take on mine."

I sat down on the couch in the corner of my atelier and petted the place next to me.

"Come sit with me. Tell me what's wrong."

She sighed deeply and sat down next to me, playing nervously with the silver bracelet around her left wrist.

"Why does she love me? I mean, we argue practically every day. She's so terribly stubborn and dogmatic. We can't even decide on if we want to have a child or not. I mean isn't that like…essential?"

"You don't have to decide about the baby thing yet. As for Zafrina being stubborn—yes she is, very much indeed. But the thing is that you need someone like that. You need someone who speaks up to you and challenges you a bit."

"Don't get me wrong, I do love her, I really do but she is not what I expected."

"What did you expect?"

"Well, someone small and delicate whom I can protect. With Zafrina it's more like it's the other way round."

"And you are realizing that two days before you're getting married?"

"No, I knew that from the start. The thing is that I like it that way…she makes me feel…secure."

"Let me give you a clue. That is a good sign and nothing to worry about."

"I know. I'm just worried that I'm going to disappoint her. She's doing that wedding thing for me, not for herself. I wanted to get married since I was like ten or something close to that. It's not even legal; although by now I've signed so many papers she set up that my hand hurts. I love her, but what if I fuck this up. I can't fuck this up. It's too important to fuck it up and I'm the queen of fucking up."

"No woman who gets a two thousand dollar wedding dress designed by me is going to fuck up her marriage. The thing is Zafrina knows you. She knows that you are moody and sarcastically. She knows that you need to like always have the last word or that you are jealous like shit whenever another woman so much as dares to look at her. She knows all that and she still agreed to marry you because she loves you. I don't know why she loves you. I mean, you are quite nice to look at, especially right now but your character is pretty messed up if you take a closer look."

"I'm so complicated, how can she love me?"

"There is no reason why people love someone. They just do."

"No, they don't. Love is a cheap psychological trick designed by nature in order to maintain our species."

Spoken like a true romantic, I thought, wrapping the silk dress in thick layers of paper.

"That was our last fitting. Try not to gain weight during the next 48 hours or some very embarrassing things could happen while you're walking down the aisle."

"Me making a run in the last minute is the most embarrassing thing that could happen." she murmured when she pulled her shirt over her head again.

"Or in case, _that__man_ dares to show up during the ceremony and tries to ruin it, it could end up in a blood bath."

"I thought he's not coming?"

"That's the last stand but I don't trust that. He could still show up with his usual frown and ruin the day for his sister. I have already chosen a place on the Ranch where I'm going to bury this racist's corpse in case he decides to come."

"Zafrina's brother is not a racist. He's just an asshole."

"He's an asshole who's a racist. Derek asked Zafrina if she couldn't find a suitable woman within their own race."

"What did she say to that?"

"She laughed at him and told him it would be a bit difficult to find blonde haired and blue eyed Afro Americans but that she would keep an eye open."

"She's so awesome. You are lucky to have found her."

XXXX

"You're looking pale, are you okay?" Bella asked me when I returned from the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. The first days after stopping my medication were always the worst. My stupid heart needed to get used to working without extra help, and I constantly felt dizzy. It was going to be worth it. I wanted this so much, so very much.

"Ali?"

"I'm fine, honey, just a bit tired." I whispered, leaning my head back against the pillows. She cuddled against me from behind and pulled the blankets over us. I closed my eyes while her fingertips circled over the exposed skin on my neck in circles.

"She made you change the dress again. Didn't she? You shouldn't have agreed to design her wedding gown. Jasmine is so terribly moody. Long, short…I want white…no, I want ivory. Now you are completely exhausted with all from all that and the other stuff Didyme is making you do at the moment."

"It's okay. I can handle that."

"But you're not looking too good to me. I'm worried about you."

I turned around and cupped her face between my hands, caressing the tip of her nose with my fingers until her mouth curved into a small smile.

She leaned forward and kissed my lips, slipping the tip of her tongue into my mouth to gently massage my tongue with hers. Her mouth was sweet and warm on mine and I instantly pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her waist to move my hands under the fabric of her shirt.

"You are tired. We shouldn't…,"

"I want to." I whispered against her mouth before I kissed her again, sucking her upper lip between my mouth to nibble it playfully. My hands stroked up her spine for a few moments before I pulled her shirt over her head. Then I turned her over so that I was sitting on her lap and circled my fingers over her full cleavage. So soft, so warm, so mine, I thought when I leaned forward to suck one of the rosy nipples between my lips. A suppressed moan left her throat while I licked and suckled her sensitive peaks, enjoying how they pebbled under my touch. I wondered if I would manage to make her come just with this, just with caressing her breasts. Maybe another time…

Slowly I let my tongue move down her stomach, grazing the fabric of her underwear with my thumb until she automatically bucked her hips towards my palm, searching for more friction.

"Someone is bit greedy today." I whispered into her ear, swirling my tongue over its shell while my hand stroked up and down her thighs, getting closer to her already soaked through underwear with my fingertips with each circle.

"You are teasing me. It's not fair."

"I like teasing you."

"Please…,"

"Please what?"

Another moan left her lips while I sucked her earlobe between my front teeth. She whimpered when my fingertips moved under the side of her panties, stroking her bare outer lips so lightly that my fingers were barely touching her skin at all.

"Touch me."

"I am touching you."

I moved my fingers deeper, coating them in her warm, slick essence before I rolled the throbbing pearl of her clit between my thumb and my forefinger.

"Oh fuck, how much I've missed that."

I kneeled down between her legs and pulled her underwear down her thighs. Then I leaned down, spreading her open with two of my fingers while I licked her slit from her entrance up to her clit and back down again. Her legs started trembling, and I continued teasing her overheated flesh with the tip of my tongue, rubbing my fingers over her inner lips for a few moments before I inserted two of them into the velvety wetness.

Her inner walls started tightening around my fingers inside of her and I shoved my tongue into her, wanting to taste and feel as much of her climax as possible. Her essence poured down my throat a heartbeat later while I kept on circling her clit in small circles until the after waves of her lust eventually subsided.

I kissed her right underneath her belly button swirling my tongue over it before I moved higher and pressed my lips tenderly against her mouth.

"You taste like me."

"I know…you are my very favorite taste on earth."

"Mine is your essence mixing up with mine." she whispered, pulling my nightgown over my head.

"And before I forget to tell you about this, I really do like these little nothings that you wear to bed."

"Wanna know what I like?"

"Maybe I can find out if I try hard enough. Lay back and relax, my heart."

I sighed and closed my eyes, taking several deep breaths through my nose while she kissed her way down my spine, letting the tip of her tongue graze over my skin ever so lightly. Her hands reached the small roundness of my behind and massaged it in smooth circles until she parted my legs to let her fingers move up and down my damp thong.

"You trust me. Don't you?" she murmured before she pressed a last kiss right above the flowers of my tattoo.

"I want to make you feel good. I would never hurt you."

"I know." I whispered huskily, when she shoved the last piece of my clothing down my quivering legs. She lifted my lower body up from the bed, circling her fingers over the pulsating nub of my clit for a few moments until I felt her standing up behind me to grab the box with our toys from underneath the bed.

When I felt the vibrating piece of plastic against my inner lips I whimpered slightly, moving my hips back and forth a bit in an attempt to bring the toy closer to my clit.

"More…,"

"Now look who's greedy now. Patient, my heart…patient, I'm going to give you more, so much more."

She shoved the toy about an inch inside of me, before she pulled it out and circled my clit with it for a moment before she inserted it back into me, continuing to tease me until my breathing came out raggedly and I could feel the muscles in my stomach starting to tighten.

When I thought I was about to come she pulled the toy out of me completely and replaced it with her tongue, lapping up the slick essence that kept pouring out of me. I groaned and pressed my mouth against a pillow in order to stiffen the noises as much as I could. Then slowly, very slowly the tip of her tongue moved lower and lower, eventually nudging against the edges of my puckered hole and my entire body tensed.

Nobody had ever dared to touch me there. It was so forbidden and yet it made my insides toss and turn. Shivers of pleasure went down my spine and I felt myself relaxing again. Her fingertips circled my clit and then I felt her shoving the vibe back into me to the hilt, turning it on when it was deep inside of me.

It was too much, just too much. Her fingers drawing circles on my clit, the toy vibrating inside of me combined with her tongue doing so strangely excitingly things to me down there. I whimpered and moaned against the pillow underneath me while my climax washed over me, making my inner walls convulse around the toy and in that moment she inserted the tip of her tongue into my nether entrance increasing the unfamiliar feeling so much that I saw stars flashing in front of my closed eyelids. I came hard, my entire body trembled while my muscles clenched and unclenched around the plastic toy.

I collapsed on the bed, trying to get my breathing under control again while I started sobbing uncontrollable. It wasn't like I was sad. It was just so…so intense somehow.

"Ali? Ali, baby, did I hurt you? Are you okay?"

She pulled me against her chest and for a very long time I cried unable to control myself again while she petted my hair with her fingertips.

"Are you in pain?"

I wiped my nose on the blankets and sighed deeply, trying to ignore the pain in my chest that was cramping forcefully around it—heart attack by orgasm. Was such a thing possible? I hated my heart, hated that it made me so weak, so vulnerable.

"I'm okay." I whispered so low that my voice was barely audible.

"You are not. Why are you pretending to be when you are not?"

I tried to stand up from the bed but she wrapped her arms around me so tightly that I couldn't move at all.

"Tell me what's wrong. Please, I need to know."

"I don't want to. You'll be angry if I tell you."

"Ali…,"

I swallowed hard, trying not to look her in the eyes when I spoke up again.

"I stopped taking my pills."

"You did what? When? Why? Well, actually I don't care why. Dear heaven, how could you consider doing something so completely irresponsible?"

I tried to turn my body away from her, facing the picture of us and the girls that was standing next to the bed.

"Ali!"

"I know you wouldn't understand."

"Excuse me when I'm unable to understand how my wife can endanger her health without even trying to talk to me about it before."

"Do you remember what we discussed last month? When you said, you didn't want another child."

"You…you stopped taking your medication because you want to get pregnant?"

Her voice softened instantly and I leaned forward, burying my sweaty face against her chest.

"It's so unfair! Everyone gets a choice but me. I want to…I want to know how that is like…to be pregnant."

"Ali, sweetheart, we had this discussion like a million times by now. It's too dangerous."

"I don't mind."

"Stop being silly, this is nothing that we can try out and start over again if it doesn't work out. Don't you know that you are everything to me? Just, everything and if I'd lose you I would die too."

She stood up from the bed, grabbing her shirt from the floor to pull it over her head again. A dry sob left her throat and a heartbeat later she burst out into tears.

"I hate it when we're fighting."

"Me too," I whispered standing up to put my arms around her. "I didn't mean to make you worry."

"You do, when you endanger your health. I feel very tempted to call your father right now to check on you, but him coming here in the middle of the night would wake up the girls and I don't want that."

I planted a kiss against her collarbone, pulling her silky hair over her shoulder to twist a bit of it around my fingers.

"Why do you want a third child so badly suddenly? I thought you and I are working on our goal to have the house to ourselves in a few years."

"I talked so much to Jazz in the last weeks and she really wants to have a baby."

"Zafrina doesn't. But whether they will have or won't have a child has zero to do with us. We already had a baby. We, not me, Zoe is our child."

"I know and I love her, I love both of the girls so much but they are not babies anymore. Babies are so cute and they smell good."

"I'm sorry to destroy your delusion. Babies don't always smell good and I really don't want to go through this potty training phase again."

XXXX

"My father sent me over to bring this cookie stuff for you. Can you sign the receipt…like there…and down here." Jane asked me when she placed the bags filled with deliciously smelling almond cookies on the kitchen table.

"Your friends are getting married tomorrow, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are."

"Well, tell them good luck from me."

"I will."

She twisted her blonde hair around her fingers before she spoke up again. Her voice sounding way more nervous than it usually did.

"They are like you. Aren't they? I mean, they are both women."

"Last time, I checked they were. Why are you asking?"

"It's nothing. Is Lilly home?"

"She's upstairs, re-packing her suitcase again. Lilly! Jane is here!"

Her copper head appeared on the stairs and the moment Jane saw her face her own one curved into the brightest smile I had ever seen on it.

"Jane, so good you are here. I need someone to help me choose a dress for this stupid wedding my moms are forcing me to attend with them. I look like crap."

Lilly rushed back to her room to try on one of the dozen dresses I had brought over for her from the boutique.

"You could never look like crap," Jane mumbled so low that it was barely audible. Then she cleared her throat nervously.

"Can I ask you something? How did you know that you were…I mean that you liked girls more than boys?"

"Why do you want to know about this?"

"It's nothing. Forget it, I shouldn't have asked you."

"You shouldn't have asked my mother what?"

Jane cringed, letting her cell fall down on the carpet. Quickly she kneeled down to pick it up again.

"Nothing,"

"Hmm, whatever,"

Lilly turned around, her pretty face turning into a frown.

"This is hopeless. Can I wear jeans for the reception?"

"What's wrong with the dress? It looks good on you."

"I look fat in it and you can see my boobs."

Jane blushed a bit and walked behind Lilly, pulling a bit on the straps of the blue dress.

"Your mom is right, the dress looks pretty on you."

"But it shows too much of my tits. I hate them. Every moron in school makes comments about it."

"Stupid shitheads, stop worrying about them all the time. Look, I have to go now, my mother needs me in the restaurant."

"Child labor is prohibited in this country."

"That's what you think, _gioa_."

She hugged Lilly and kissed her on both cheeks before she left.

"Sometimes she's acting strange."

"Who? Jane? You mean because she's working in the restaurant of her parents so much?"

"No, that's not what I meant. It's just…I don't really know. The way she's looking at me sometimes is so irritating. Maybe she thinks I'm fat and is too nice to bring it up?"

"I'm sure she doesn't think you are fat. In fact no one thinks you are fat. You are just curvy. Being curvy is good."

XXXX

The thing with crying is that when you are trying your hardest not to do it, it's usually most difficult to hold back the tears. My hands cramped around the tissue between my hands while I sobbed like a baby, unable to compose myself no matter how much I tried to remind myself that my eye makeup would be smeared down my cheekbones by the end of the ceremony.

Weddings always made me cry, always. God, this was so embarrassing.

"Mommy, why is Momma crying?"

"Pssst, Zoe, you need to be quiet."

"But I want to know. Is she sad?"

Lilly pulled her on her lap and placed one finger on her mouth to silence her sister. Then she leaned forward and whispered something into her ear that made the little girl giggle.

"That is funny."

"Zoe, be still now."

"When can I give Jasmine my present?"

"Later. Please, be quiet now. I don't want people to look at us because you can't be silent for a few minutes."

"I wait with her outside." Lilly murmured, lifting her up to carry Zoe out of the tent where the ceremony was held.

Zafrina had convinced Jasmine to get tattoos instead of wedding rings and the whole procedure seemed to be taking forever after they had exchanged their vows.

Finally it was done and I could wrap my arms around both of them.

"I'm so, so, very happy for the two of you."

"Thanks, Ali, for everything."

Bella placed one arm around my waist and handed me another tissue to wipe my tear-covered face.

"I don't know why so many women are crying on weddings." Zafrina stated when she hugged me tightly.

"It's so romantic."

"Yes, it is. Thanks for helping my wife with the decoration and stuff when I felt very much like running away from all the discussions about whether we need or don't need daffodils on the tables."

"We should have ordered them."

"If you think so, cowgirl,"

"Jasmine, Jasmine! Can I give you my present now? I made it myself."

Jasmine kneeled down in front of her what was difficult with the dress. I had told her that she wouldn't even be able to pee on her own with this crinoline but she had insisted that she wanted to have it exactly like that.

"That's the prettiest picture anyone has never made for me."

"That's you and Zafrina with Amarillo."

"And what are the little guinea pigs doing down there?"

"Jasmine, can't you see that are puppies. I really want Amarillo to have some. They are so cute."

"Oh sweetie, I don't think that's such a good idea. Puppies are a whole lot of work. You need to feed them and take them out all the time or they will pee insides the house."

"Human babies are much more work." Zafrina murmured, grazing the shell of Jasmine's ear with her front teeth.

"Let's not discuss this now. I'm too happy to get mad at you again about your stubbornness."

"I'm not stubborn. I just happen to have an opinion on this subject that differs from your own."

"But I'm right. You'll see that. I know it."

Zafrina cupped her face in her right hand and pulled her closer, while I turned around to kiss Bella's mouth tenderly.

"Can we go for a little walk? There are way too much people around here for my taste."

She nodded her head and took my hand in hers to rub circles all over my wrist while we strolled through the empty house of Jasmine's parents. It was huge and when I first came here I had thought it to be a palace.

"It's nice here, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. A bit too big for my taste though."

"Have you been here often before?"

"Just a few times but that's so long ago that I don't even remember it that good."

We opened the door to the library. Who on earth has a library inside their house? Bella walked through the shelves touching the expensive first editions with her fingertips.

"This is the most magnificent collection I have ever seen. They must be rich like crap to have something like that in their house."

"They are. Jasmine doesn't give one tiny bit about that, what is probably a good thing."

I hugged her from behind and pressed her against the wall between two book shelves.

"Did I ever tell you why I love it so much when you are wearing dresses?" I murmured against her neck.

"I don't think so. Is there a specific reason?" she whispered when I moved my hands up he thighs, circling my fingertips over the fabric of her underwear.

"I like them on you, because they give me such easy access to your womanly parts."

She whimpered when I rolled my thumb up and down her slit a few times.

"We can't…not here. We'll get caught."

"No, we won't. Try to relax. I want you and I want you right now."

My fingertips slipped underneath her panties to pull them down her legs.

"There is nothing I will ever want so much as being with you, Bella."

I kneeled down behind her lifting up her dress to disappear underneath the burgundy silk hem. Slowly, teasingly I kissed my way up her inner thighs. Then I flicked the tip of my tongue over her outer lips spreading them open with my fingers to lick her slick folds from her entrance up to the tiny sensitive pearl of her clit.

There was something about having sex when you risked being caught that was so very exciting. I loved that. It was wrong but yet I couldn't stop myself on trying to seduce my beloved wife in the most uncommon places. At first she was usually hesitating, but while we were at it and I teased her with my fingers and my tongue she started developing a lot of enthusiasm in the whole thing.

"Yes, right there. Oh fuck…oh…oh fuck."

I licked her greedily, enjoying how her sweet essence poured down my throat. I shoved one fingers inside of her coating it in her wetness before I pulled it out again to circle it lower until its tip reached her puckered hole. This was so new, so strange for both of us and that was random when you've been with someone for so long like we had with each other. I pulled her closer against my face, swirling my tongue over her clit while my finger pressed gently against the rosette of her ass, carefully dipping it about an inch or two inside of her while her climax made her legs tremble so much that she lost her balance and both of us landed on the floor.

"Ouch!" she whimpered, holding her hand against her left temple

"Did you hurt your head on the shelf?"

"A bit, good thing I have such a hard scull. It's not that easy to break."

"Come here, baby. Let me kiss it better."

I put one arm around her bare shoulders and pulled her closer against my chest, blowing lightly over her temple before I planted a soft kiss right on it.

"We can't stay here for the rest of the evening. Can we?"

"Not really."

"Just five more minutes,"

I giggled and nuzzled my face against her neck to inhale her flowery scent.

"Just five more minutes,"

"You sound like Zoe when she doesn't want to go to bed."

"And then I can't wake her up in the morning."

"Hmm, I know."

She took my hand in hers and rubbed her fingertip over my wedding ring, seeming to hesitate for a moment before she spoke up again.

"Do you really want another child so much?"

"I do or I don't. It's such a difficult decision and I know that you don't want one."

"If I told I wanted one you'd say yes to it within seconds. I get dizzy thinking of how fast you'd call Benjamin to fly here in order to donate again for us." she stated, placing kisses on each of my knuckles.

"That's not the point."

"Yes, it is. I want to know if you want one, not considering my opinion on the subject."

"I'm still not sure."

"You stopped taking your medication although you're not that sure? I don't really buy this."

I sighed and took her hand in mine, placing it on my flat stomach.

"I wished I knew how that feels like…when the baby is inside of you. When it grows and lives just because you live. It's such a miracle."

"You want to know what's a miracle? You and me. That the two of us found each other. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"We could go to see some other doctors, trying to get a second opinion or a third one. If you want to have this baby so badly, we'll find a way."

I cupped her face between my hands and pulled her closer, stopping about half an inch before my lips touched hers. Her mouth found mine and I felt myself starting to smile against her velvety lips when the familiar warmth spread through my entire body.

Here's the thing. Kissing the woman you love for the thousandth time is nothing like kissing her for the first time. It's better, way better. First kisses are nothing but a promise, a promise of things to come, of a love possible to be, but nothing more. This here is so much more, because we are so much more. Each time she kisses me, she says yes to what we are, what I am to her and it's so much. It's too much to put in just one kiss, but there are more to come, always more…


End file.
